You’re Holy To Me Chapter 3 (MTMTE Tarn)

Tarn hadn’t broken his morning routine once. Wake up. Shower. Brush teeth. Check the cameras. Get breakfast. See how much paperwork he had to deal with for the day and prepare for any missions. But his favourite part of the morning was a recent addition to his schedule. At eleven-thirty sharp he’d bring breakfast to _. While it’s true that they were wary of him, they had no choice but to eat the food he gave him and Tarn relished in it.

Despite their best efforts, every aspect of their life was controlled by Tarn and Tarn alone. _’s walls were high, but the sheer social isolation eventually started to chip away at them. He would make sure to talk to them whenever he was with them. It would take a while, but Tarn could always work a reply out of them. It’s not like they could refuse him, and he could tell they were already starting to crack. He had to be careful not to push it too much at first. Patience would be key to winning their affections after all. But sometimes it was hard to resist the urge to just tilt up his mask and… well that was beside the point.

Walking into their room, _ was already awake. They had taken to sitting at their desk, drawing using the supplies Tarn had gotten them. They were conflicted about using the things Tarn had given them. On one hand they were doing exactly what he wanted by giving in and making use of his gifts. On the other hand, it’s not like there was any other option but to comply. Tarn’s reputation preceded him and knowing what he was capable of doing if he so pleased sent a chill down their spine.

Even with his reputation and capabilities however, he had yet to so much as lift a finger at any insubordination from _. If _ didn’t eat breakfast, nothing happened. If _ stayed in bed all day, the only difference in Tarn’s usual routine would be that he’d simply pull a chair next to the bed and sit as he recounted the glories of the Decepticon cause.

Despite Tarn’s seemingly infinite tolerance of their unwillingness to cooperate, _ made sure to never push it too far. This had only happened once. They hadn’t gotten out of bed, hadn’t eaten, so Tarn was sitting next to them droning on and on for hours about Decepticon history and how great the Decepticon cause was.

“As you can see in this section of Towards Peace Megatron says ‘Even if you believe in the taxonomy, ask yourself this: Who decides on that order? And then: Why should there be an order?’ What do you think about that, _?” _ didn’t particularly care about megatron or what he had to say about an old taxonomy and they were tired enough to voice their opinion.

“Ithink I don’t care. If anything I’m pissed at him because his number one enforcer is-”

In an instant his voice went from normal to threatening, sending a stab of pain through their heart. His hand held their arm and the collar of their shirt in a vice grip as he forcefully pulled them towards him, leaning in so his mask was pressed against their ear.

“_. Do not ever bring Megatron into this. Am. I. clear?”

“Tarn- I can’t br-” _ managed to choke out before he interrupted them.

“All you have to do is apologize, alright?” It was suffocating and nauseating at the same time. _ couldn’t see, couldn’t breathe, and their arm was certainly bruised but they nodded fervently, anything to make it go away. Just as quickly as it had happened, Tarn gently set them down and the pain went away.

“Good. I’m so glad you understand. Are you alright?” The way he moved on like nothing had ever happened made a pit of dread pool in their stomach.

“… Yes.”

Tarn could see the fear in their eyes, and did feel bad for them. It’s true he may have gone too far with punishing them for their insolence, but as much as he loved them it was a necessary evil. Someday they will understand, he told himself. It’s for their own good. In the meantime, he’d have to make sure to take them outside as a treat.

Looking back on that incident made _ shiver. It was a stark reminder of how unpredictable Tarn could be, even on his best days. When he was happy, he’d be easy to placate. Sometimes he’d even take them to the library, though even then their every move was monitored closely and they were blindfolded on the way to and from there to make sure they couldn’t escape.

His worst days would more varied. Usually a bad day happened after an arduous mission or a long day with lots of paperwork. On those days would either talk for hours and hours about Megatron and his glory, or be absolutely silent, simply choosing to sit beside them.

But now as it reached 5 months of confinement _ had started on a plan, and all they could do was hope it would work.

{⚠️Blood/Abuse warning⚠️} Ruth’s got a new life, but the past still stings.

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(comm for @the-feral-dame , this concept was awesome to write and draw for! Thanks for commissioning me! )

(TWs IN TAGS!!!)

okay, not usually what i post but here we go:

this song. this song fits dean and cas so well. and im about to explain exactly why.

the entirety of the song about losing someone you once loved, and during season 15, thats exactly what happened. not just with castiel’s death and dean losing him, but during this specific scene during s15e03:

castiel, by this point, has been through hell when it comes to how dean has treated him (because, lets face it, dean is an asshole due to multiple trauma related reasons). he’s been kicked out of the bunker with no explanation, he’s been told that he’s basically useless without his powers (“baby in a trench coat”), he’s been blamed by dean for the leviathans, and he’s been blamed for everything that happened to mary. he knows dean tried to kill HIS SON, for fucks sake.

and yet, castiel still loves him. cas knows that he, himself, has flaws. so he keeps giving and giving, and expects nothing in return. he keeps letting dean vent and take his anger out, he keeps letting the man blame him, because, lets face it, cas thinks he’s right.

so he lets dean do whatever he pleases. castiel, angel of god, fallen for a man that constantly degrades him and agrees with him whenever he blames himself for something he did wrong.

“when castiel first laid a hand on you in hell, he was lost!”

yes, that statement is true. but, castiel also learned free will. he was on his own, he has been through plenty of dangerous situations. and, most importantly, he can handle himself.

so, castiel gets up and looks at dean, telling him that his power is failing, telling him that dean doesn’t care about him. and dean doesn’t object. he sits there, in silence, not stopping castiel as he walks out.

“I had all and then most of you

Some and now none of you

Take me back to the night we met”

dean once had all of castiel, was able to have the angel at his beck and call. during purgatory, dean’s raw instinct was to find castiel. he cupped his face whenever he thought his angel was going to die. and then, he kicked him out. without explanation, without a word.

the second that castiel walked out of that bunker’s door was the second that dean winchester realized he was becoming exactly like his father. pushing away those he cared about for the sake of one goal: keep his family alive. not the family he created, though. only blood. blood was what mattered. all because john winchester ingrained it in his head, beat it through his skull until it stuck.

as castiel walked out that door, dean winchester realized he had lost the one person who loved him and his flaws. in his eyes, he lost the one person who could put up with his bullshit, who could stand to be around him for longer than a few days. because, god forbid, the only one who would stay was sam.

castiel walked out that door with a heavy heart but a clear head.

dean winchester stayed in that bunker with nothing but his brother, his own guilt, and a glass of whiskey.

Fatys <3

Feat: him getting kissed on the forehead because Crash asked to smoosh him :^)

Some old sketches of him growing up except there’s some abuse signs showing-

Age 6

Age 12

Age 18