#untamed crack

LAN SIZHUI: Do you and Hanguang-Jun ever fight?

WEI WUXIAN: Well, like any married couple, honey, your father and I do fight occasionally, and sometimes he wins the argument, and sometimes I win. But usually, we forget what we were arguing about and just have sex.

LAN SIZHUI: …

WEI WUXIAN: Anyway, the important thing is that we always end up on the same team. And in the same bed.

LAN SIZHUI: How can you be so wise and so inappropriate at the same time?

NIE HUAISANG, drunk at a multi-clan conference: I’m giving everyone code names. From now on, I’m Eagle One. Wei Wuxian, code name “Been There Done That.”

WEI WUXIAN:

NIE HUAISANG: Jin Guangyao is “Currently Doing That.”

JIN GUANGYAO:

NIE HUAISANG: Jiang Cheng is “It Happened Once in a Dream.”

JIANG CHENG:

NIE HUAISANG: Lan Xichen, code name, “If I Had to Pick a Lan Dude.”

LAN XICHEN:

NIE HUAISANG: Lan Wangji is…

LAN WANGJI: …

NIE HUAISANG: …Eagle Two.

LAN WANGJI: Oh thank god.

(Lines originally from Parks and Rec)

LAN SIZHUI: It’s good that Jiang Cheng has Jin Ling with him at Cloud Recesses, to fill the Wei Ying void.

LAN JINGYI: I think Hanguang-jun is already “filling the Wei Ying void,” ohhhh!

(Lines adapted from Parks and Recreation)

Lines originally from Parks & Recreation

(Lines originally from Parks and Recreation)

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