#v x mc
just one last dance
VBE2: Love me harder and don’t be nice, please.
Shanghai, 1917
idol paro V & Jumin
Four
Golden hair, bright green eyes. Her first impression of Rika was angelic. The way she talked with V seemed like they had a world of their own; a world where no one was allowed. It was a beautiful sight.
Golden hair, bright green eyes. Her first impression of Rika was angelic. The way she talked with V seemed like they had a world of their own; a world where no one was allowed. It was a beautiful sight. Not everyone can have someone that would share the same interests as the other. The sight of them made her want to dream, she wanted experience the same thing with someone someday. She was that happy for them. Even if she wanted to see more works of V she decided to walk away quietly from them and back to her artworks.
She could still clearly remember that afternoon,
That same woman was in front of them right now. She still has that angelic features; her lovely, golden hair and the innocent facial features, but her emerald eyes that once bear hope was now without an ounce of sympathy, it was dark. It screams of a twisted belief that she wanted to share to other people. Something that cannot be accepted by the society, a belief one would thought they’d only see in a soap opera, or in her terms, a delusion.
Then, there was a younger man. Around Seven’s age; his younger brother. Pointing the gun at V, who was risking his life for the so called ‘savior’ of this cult. But with the situation they are in, his actions was something. She could not describe it as something romantic, or heroic. It was, crazy and unrealistic. Of course, Rika was the love of his life. He was willing to protect her at all costs, heck, he was even willing to sacrifice his sight.
For an artist, their eyes, hand and emotions were one of the most important things. Without it, they cannot create art that can bring something to this twisted world. Just the thought itself, for her, a someone who was about to lose one of the tools of trade was devastating. She had no idea what she was doing, but her body was moving towards them.
“Rika!”
Bang!
Blood, a deafening ring to her ears, her body falling on the floor. The sudden silence inside the hall.
Rika screamed, Vanderwood kicked the believers who were holding him back and V’s face that was terrified for her. She looked around the room before feeling the pressure on her right chest. It was Vanderwood, he was pleading her to stay with them, his coat pressed gently to stop the bleeding. Next there was V, and then Saeyoung trying to calm his brother.
“Keep awake, I need you to stay with us!” Vanderwood’s desperate plea made her look at him,
“Stay with us, please we need you to stay with us!” V’s trembling voice made her whimper, a lump forming in her throat. “Don’t… worry.” she managed to mumble, before completely closing her eyes.
.
“Haaah… haaah!” She woke up. The same feeling of fear back in her mind. Her hands were shaking, she’s drenched in cold sweats all over her body. The thought of dying was something she couldn’t completely fathom. But at that moment she was the same as V, willing to give it all for someone they cherish.
The fairy lights in her room glowed a yellow color, the same color as her lampshade. The familiar vibe the room itself gave off made her feel at ease after having a nightmare. She made sure that her room looked like it did when she was still living in her apartment. The room was in calming color of sky blue, which she was thankful for.
It’s been months since she moved in to this unfamiliar place. Living in V’s house was something she did not expect. Although the man himself persisted so, she still feels as if she was someone who shouldn’t be here. The uneasiness started to build up again. So she switched the light on, grabbed her brushes, paints and a watercolor paper. Trying to paint away the idea that came to her.
She dipped the brush in the water, before lightly brushing at the pigment of her chosen color. Each stroke she makes on the paper was like a calming therapy for her, along with the scent of lavender oil that is wafting all over the room. Yes, this enough to calm her down.
The eyeglasses Jumin provided somehow eased the blurriness of her vision, enough to make her see what she was painting. But soon enough, it wouldn’t be enough for her. And she couldn’t do anything to stop it.
Her movements stopped when she heard whimpers coming from the other room. Maybe he was having that dream again. Ever since she moved in, he was having a nightmare for at least twice a week. She went into the kitchen to get him a glass of water before walking closer to V’s room which was next to hers.
The whimpering didn’t stop, which made her worry. She carefully opened the door, before peeking inside to see V. The dim light in his bedside table was enough to reflect the beads of sweat in his forehead. She quickly went to him, putting the glass of water aside,
“V?” She tried to wake him up gently, but him just shaking wouldn’t stop. She held his hand while trying to shake his shoulders. It had become a routine, them looking out for each other. V takes care of her needs during the day, while she takes care of him when this time of the week comes. If only she could chase that dream away, then, both of them would be alright.
“Rika… no, don’t…” she pity V so much, to have undergone such experiences himself. She tried to shake his shoulders more forcefully this time, hoping for him to finally wake up. V reached out for her hand, holding it tight as he could, as if it his only way to calm down. Seconds later, his breathing returned to normal. His expression finally calm.
She had no idea what to do; his action took her by surprise. Trying to softly get her hand out of his made him grasp it a little more.
“Don’t go…” he murmured in his sleep. In his dreams, did he thought of the hand he is holding was Rika’s? The thought itself made her a little disappointed. Even so, she decided to stay with him for the night. Taking a chair and slept there, their hands intertwined the whole night.
.
.
.
The bright sunlight on the room gave it a warm glow. V woke up to the light of early morning. He found himself holding someone’s hand. He tried to make his eyes adjust to the light, before somehow seeing her even though it is only a blur. She was holding his hand tight, and she’s sleeping on a chair. He tried to remember what happened last night, until it came to him that he dreamt of the same incident that happened three months ago.
V brushed away the hair strands covering her face. He may not be able to see clearly but he can identify the dark circles under her eyes. He felt sorry for always keeping her up for weeks now, dreaming of the same thing again and again.
She looked uncomfortable in the position she was in, yet he could tell she was sleeping peacefully.
It was always like this. He wasn’t sure if he can carry her into her bed next room, especially without his cane. V thought of only one thing. He gently lifted her so that she can sleep in his bed, tucking her in his blanket, he was worried at first that it would smell of him.
As soon as she lay down she immediately reached for the pillow. Seeing her sleeping form made V felt at ease. She has her mouth agape, his spare pillow between her legs while she hugged the beige duvet. It’s been almost three months since she moved in, and the way he feels about her was making him confused. V knew that she was somehow like Rika, and staying with her made him feel scared at times. But those worries immediately come and go; she’s stable, calm and even most of the time rational and logical, yet she still knew how to perfectly have empathy.
His eye surgery was scheduled the next week, and it is making him anxious and at the same time excited. But, she was there to reassure that things will be fine. Truth be told he never saw her face clearly, and he wanted to so bad. He wanted to see the angel that saved his life, and to see the world with her.
His thoughts were abruptly stopped when the doorbell rang. Reaching for his gray cardigan on the headboard, V stood up and went to the front door, wondering who might visit them early in the morning. Good thing his house didn’t have any stairs, or else it would become a problem for him. just as he was about to turn the knob and open the front door, he heard footsteps coming near him. She was running towards the front door. Her hair tied in a messy bun while her eyeglasses was tilted on the side.
“Good morning V!” she greeted him, “Um, sorry but I was expecting Saeyoung today.” She held his arm for her dear life, she was panting. A sight quite new for V. “I don’t look too presentable right now, but… haha. Could you talk to him for a while…? I’ll go wash my face first, just wait!” She said, before he could protest, she was already looking at his eyes. V was hesitant to tell her ‘no,’ after all, it’s only been three months of not being able to talk at all to Saeyoung, this would be the first time to meet him.
He wasn’t sure if he would be able to face him or to tell him he is sorry, that he never intended for things to happen that way, all he could do was to look down to his feet. She must have been able to see the hesitant and troubled look on his face. She squeezed his arm gently, urging him to look into her eyes. V looked at her, she gave him a warm smile.
“It’s okay, I know you’re scared. But I think it is time for you to talk to each other. Everything will be fine, Jihyun. But, if you still cannot, just call me.” She reassured, before walking back to her room to wash her face and comb her hair. Those words were enough to push him to open the door and face his ‘younger brother’.
Saeyoung greeted him with his goofy smile, V could feel getting teary eyed. The way this boy smiled at him was like when he used to before the whole incident happened. They stood at the doorway for a few minutes, before another man with a bleached hair stood behind Saeyoung.
Seeing Saeran after what happened at the Mint Eye made him froze in place. He did not know what to do. He still felt guilty about what has happened to the both of them. He couldn’t help but–
“Good morning!” her voice cut through their little moment. She stood beside V, her smile making them all break into ones as well.
“… hello,” Saeran greeted shyly, his eyes were still the color of Mint. V had asked them to go inside. It was without a doubt that their atmosphere was still awkward, despite (Name) and Saeyoung’s desperate attempt to break it down.
She had asked Saeran to help her make breakfast, V knew that it was to give him and Saeyoung a chance to talk. Although he was not sure if it was the right time to talk, especially when they have yet to have their breakfast. Silence filled the entire living room, all they could hear was the chirping of the birds and the talking from the kitchen. V cleared his throat, he really has no idea how to start. He has a lot to say, but he does not know where to start.
“Saeyoung.” He tried to start, but the words were once again stuck in his throat. He found himself acting funny, his desperate attempt to apologize to Saeyoung was making him embarrassed. Although, he promised (Name) that he’ll try to become more open to his feelings and be dependent to others around him, he found it never easy to do so. but she was always there to reassure him that everything would be fine, but this time he should do it alone.
Saeyoung’s golden eyes were fixed on him, and V could feel it. He decided to be honest, to just say whatever he has to say,
“Saeyoung, I’m sorry.” He started off, his body facing towards him, “To be honest, I don’t think I still have the right to talk to you, or to Saeran. After what I did, I thought at that time that it was the right thing to do, to keep it from all of you from hurting. I understand that things have never been easy for the both of you. I can never apologize enough, I have so many things to apologize, for failing to take care of you and Saeran, for failing to becoming a responsible head of the RFA, and for even failing to protect all of you.” V finally said, “But, if possible, I want to start with all of you again, I know it will never be the same, I don’t even know if you can still forgive me, if I you don’t, then I understand too. It’s a karma I deserve, I created a secret I couldn’t control, and this is where it has brought me, to be honest, I don’t even know how to ask for your forgiveness.”
“Forgiving, hyung is not an easy thing to do…” Saeyoung finally responded. V was looking on the floor, unable to look straight into Saeyoung’s face. He had no courage to face him. he was once more afraid, but he took a risk. He decided to ask for forgiveness, now it was up to Saeyoung.
“Just like you, I took a risk. After all, you still did save us. Things might not have gone as planned. A part of me had already forgiven you, but right now, if you ask for complete forgiveness, it might take some time. But we all wanted to start again together.” He said, of course. Saeyoung was right, it made V happy. Healing does take time.
V, felt his heart more overwhelming with warmth and happiness.
“Thank you… thank you.”
Pressed Flowers
One|Two|Three.
It’s been almost a year and a half ever since he stepped foot in his house. Things changed.
His usual lively apartment had lost its usual color. Everything for him looked like blurry and gray. The portrait of Rika hanging in his living room was now covered in dust, along with the other photos. The flowers in his garden started to wilt and die. He forgot when it all started, him starting to neglect his well being and everything else around him. It could just be his nature, to take care of others before himself. But he knew that this time he clearly forgot himself as a person; he only thought of saving others to the point that his beliefs and love– obsession as he realized it, started to blind him.
The jars and the frames was also covered in dust. The vase that his Rika used to put fresh flowers in everyday was full of dead flowers that he forgot to throw away. He needs to clean up his house. He needs to fix himself, and start his second life that she gave him, one baby step at a time.
Because he promised her, and because he wanted to.
The way she described him was something he did not expect. A symbol of rebirth, new beginnings and inspiration; like a daffodil. As far as he knew, daffodils should be given as a bouquet,or a bunch at least. Despite the beautiful meaning it has, a single bloom of the said flower could mean misfortune.
He could be that single bloom, for all he brought to them were problems, including the secrets he has to keep, his obsession that led to Rika to where she is right now, thinking it was the right thing to do. His emotions and philosophy took over him completely. V somehow knew that the innocence behind Rika’s eyes could be something dark, that is just waiting for the light in order to get fed; and he was that light, that fed that darkness, leading her to be a person that she had become.
“V,” he turned around to see Jumin, along with Jaehee who had brought the materials from the previous party.
“Jumin, Jaehee.” He greeted them as cheerfully as he could. But the unconvinced look on Jumin’s face tells him that he failed trying to look alright.
“I got a call from the hospital. They said that she could be discharged any time today.” Jumin said,
“But we have few problems, V. She recently got kicked out of her own apartment, due to financial reasons, and she doesn’t have any friends or relatives to take care of her.” Jaehee explained, giving V some information that they gathered while she was in the hospital.
“Hmm. I heard she works as an artist, but she mentioned that she stopped doing exhibits months ago.” Jumin’s words made V think; why did she stop?
“Well, I could always get her a unit to stay in and a personal nurse to take care of her and a maid who can tend to her needs.” Jumin added, getting his phone from his coat.
“I don’t think there’s any need, Jumin. She can stay with me, I can take care of her too.” V stopped his friend before he made the call. What he said, however made Jaehee and Jumin confused.
“V, your eyes weren’t that good anymore, you know that right?” Jaehee took the words right out of Jumin’s mouth that all he could do was nod.
“I can still see clearly with my left eye. I’m sure I can take care of her until she gets well. When that time comes, I’ll have my surgery.” There was determination in his voice. He felt like he needed to take responsibility for her, after all, she saved his life. This is only one of the many ways he can do to repay his debt.
-
She stared outside the hospital window. Although she could barely feel the pain from the wound the doctor advised her not to move too much. Countless thoughts occupied her mind. She could be discharged today, but what will happen after? Saeyoung visited her as he would often do whenever Saeran was resting.
She was in a comatose for almost a month, nearly lost her life trying to protect V. Now, she might have lost her home.
“Saeyoung,” she called him trying to get a closer look to the red headed hacker of the RFA.
“Mmm?” He answered,
“I’ve been meaning to ask this but have you seen my eyeglasses? I really have a poor eyesight and I can’t see very clearly. I thought maybe you saw it somewhere.” She sait down beside him, waiting for him to answer.
“You don’t remember? It shattered when you… um.”
“Oh.” She mumbled. Mentally doing computations of how much it would cost her the hospital bill, rent and now the cost of having new eyeglasses.
This is the only time that she wanted to mentally slap herself. She should have finished the manuscript for her novel and participated in exhibits. But no matter how much she tried she just cannot do it. Now she has to stress over the fact that no one would actually take care of her when she gets home. If she still has a home, that is.
“The doctor said you will be discharged today, but who is going to take care of you?” Saeyoung asked. Oh, how she wished she could answer that.
“I have some friends who can–”
“But you don’t have any friends or relatives.” He said flatly. Looking through the information he hacked for security reasons. “I’d love to take care of you but…”
“That kind of hurts. Alright I don’t know who or how. As long as I have a home to go back to then I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me, just take care of Saeran.” She answered in defeat, she doesn’t know either. There was a comfortable silence between them as they continue to look outside the window. It was a beautiful afternoon. She took out her phone to play some good old music, “Aubrey” by Bread.
Both she and Saeyoung smiled upon hearing the song. They both agreed that it was a relaxing song to listen to in a sunny afternoon. She often spends afternoon like this doing some art, writing and reading. She missed doing it.
“Why did you do it? Save us, I mean. We only talked for 11 days but you willingly saved me and my brother. You even took a bullet for V.” Saeyoung broke the silence between them. But his question also left her curious of the reason why she did it. She pondered for a while, looking for the reason herself, was it because of V? No, it wasn’t.
“I don’t know, I have this sense of responsibility ever since I was young, that I have to protect those important to me. Even if it costs me something.” She answered, looking straight into his golden eyes, “I wouldn’t say that I saved you or your brother. I’m just a tag along you know? But one thing I knew is, I just made up my mind, that no matter what happens, I want to see you with your brother again. As for V, when I saw the gun, my body just moved on its own to shield him.” She explained. She saw Saeyoung’s lip curve into an apologetic smile,
“You almost lost your life because of us. When you were in critical condition, and in a comatose. I thought I’d lose my mind. I don’t think I could forgive myself if that happened.” He said, fidgeting his fingers. Of course, she should have thought of her actions first. But in a situation like that, she can’t take her time thinking of things.
“I’m sorry for being reckless, but I am here, alive and well. Saeyoung, everything will be fine.” She hoped, the moment she said that they heard a knock before the door opened, revealing Jumin and V.
The atmosphere in the room turned tense and cold. This is the first time Saeyoung and V met since the incident happened. She looked at the two of them, Saeyoung’s knuckles turning white. What the red headed feels was completely valid, what happened to his brother was not something a guardian would do. His trust was broken by none other than V himself.
She lightly stroked Saeyoung’s back before smiling at him. “You should go, Saeran must be awake by now,” she urged him. Her words somehow managed to calm him down a little. Anymore longer that the two stay in the same place she was sure that it would turn to something bad. Saeyoung quietly left the room, briefly saying good bye to them.
The guilt and regret in V’s eyes were evident; he couldn’t look to Saeyoung even when he left the room. Yet he still tried to hide it, they all know that they needed some time before getting to talk to each other.
“How are you feeling?” Jumin asked first, breaking the tension in the room.
“I’m feeling a lot better, the doctor said I can go home but reminded me not to move too much.” She beamed a smile.
“We already paid for the hospital bill. As for your home… you were kicked out of your apartment.” Jumin said flatly. She figured that would be the case, she just chuckled.
“… they couldn’t wait until I get discharged huh. But thank you very much. I’ll pay you for the hospital bills, although it might take a while.” She said to Jumin.
“Don’t think about it. No amount of money could replace what you did for me. Your belongings were already at my house. You’ll be staying with me from now on. That is why we are here to fetch you.” V smiled, his face emitting a light she knew very well. It felt like the first time they met each other. But after adoring him, was only then she understood what he said.
V,
Long time no see, it’s been almost a year since I last saw you. People have been looking for the new photographs you make. Nevertheless, they still felt happy whenever they see your photos, both new and old enthusiasts of your yours. The happiness of the lily of the valley has come back, thanks to the photos that inspired me to do so. I hope the next time I see you, we can introduce ourselves to each other, properly.
-Lilley.
!! some spoilers for Seven Route ahead, read at your own risk!!
If Jihyun’s photographs represents happiness and hope, her paintings represents sadness and despair.
~
One.
Sadness. Void. Eyes. Person.
These were always the theme of her works. As if crying out the repressed memories from her unconscious.
She always finds herself and her exhibited works along with a collection of hopeful, bright and beautiful photographs of a man with a pseudonym of V. Not that she hated it, but when she asked the museum coordinator on as to why she could not hold her own exhibit, their answer would always be the same.
“Balance.”
“One cannot coexist without the other.”
Again, not that she hated it.
As time passed by she found herself getting used to it, and understanding why the coordinators always put them together, like yin and yang. People would see her watercolor artworks first, complimenting the emotions they convey. Some would even shed a tear or two, and in some occassions, even cry at the sight of them. It hurts her too, yet she felt pride in her works. After all, she sees them move on from the depressing artworks unto the happiness and hope brought by his photos.
She thought, it was like a process in life; people go through something bad, sad, and challenges they have to face, but at the end of the day something that brings joy and hope to them will always brighten up their day.
However, despite being the shadow to this light, she never met the man behind those photos. She also became one of the thousands of his fans, who never saw him.
It’s always a thing with artist, one cannot easily disclose who they are in public, afraid of the attention if known who they really are. That is why they use pseudonyms. She understands more than anyone else. In fact she also tries very hard to lie low in the public eye, yet gives it her all on the industry.
She is an author under a name of Daffodil, also an artist under a pseudonym of Lilley, short for Lily of the Valley.
Both were not her real name.
Her thoughts were cut short when someone started to stare at her new artwork along with her.
“It’s a compelling artwork.” A man with beautiful mint eyes and hair complimented her painting. She saw him look closely at the latest artwork, entitled ‘The Sorrows of the Sun.’
She looked around, only to see him smile at her.
“Oh. Uh, so what do you think about it?” She asked him. The man’s lips curved up into a smile, yet she can see the sadness behind that beautiful eyes of his. It is like, he can see something beyond the sorrow depicted in the painting.
“It’s like the sun, which the artist portrayed as the man was struggling very hard to keep the life of those who are under him, represented by the woman and the flowers of daffodil beneath them. Blue tears, represent the agony coming from the both of them.”
He got the message.
“I see. That’s a very artistic view of this work.” She kind of felt happy that someone finally understood it. Since she hanged it no one truly understood the message it portrays. Yet, she felt as if the man with the teal hair and eyes can truly relate to the said artwork, as if he had gone through it.
“The sun, is a mighty being here you see.” She traced the glass where the artwork was placed. “It can give life, it can also take away life, without realizing it. He tried his best to give the warmth and love to those who are under him. But, the excess light it gave off brought drought, eventually killing those special to him, which also brought him sorrow and despair.”
“It’s powerful, and sad.” His lips trembling with each word coming out from his mouth. “Yet I could not say it is not entirely beautiful. It’s captivating in its own way.”
“It’s something that goes with this artist’s works. They are never the symbol of happiness.” She answered, with a confident smile in her face.
“Lilley means the short for Lily of the valley, am I correct?” He asked, he was now facing her. The melancholic expression he wore earlier was now gone.
“Yes, I think it meant ‘return of happiness,’ in the language of flowers.”
“That’s a beautiful meaning.” He mumbled, but enough for her to hear. They locked eyes, although his face was a blur she knows how good looking this man is, and his mint eyes speaks of curiosity.
“My name is…”
His phone rang, just as she was expecting for him to introduce himself. 'It’s a shame,’ she thought, she can rarely meet someone who truly understood her most complicated artworks. Nevertheless, she excused herself first, leaving the man alone to continuously look at the painting.
“Hey!” She hears a faint voice, but she can’t see anyone but the light, the man and the painting, and the bouquet of white daisies and baby’s breath in her hands.
“Am I dreaming?” She asked herself, but she was sure this happened for real.
A card was next to the bouquet of flowers, with a letter from the sender;
Lilley,
I always wanted to see your paintings. Ever since the day the coordinators said that I’ll be doing exhibit with a painter, I became curious of what your world would be like; what kind of message do your works portray, what color palettes you use in order to convey such melancholic yet beautiful paintings. Now that I met you, I was thrilled to finally meet the person behind them, I was able to know more about a lot of things and to reflect on myself. Especially, the work entitled “the sorrows of the sun.” By the way, I forgot to introduce myself, I’ll talk properly to you next time. I look forward to see your paintings in the next exhibit. Thank you, Lilley. I hope the happiness returns in your paintings very soon.
-V
“Keep awake! I need you to stay with us!” A man… with long brown locks was shaking her. His face was a blur, she could barely register what he was saying. Next, there was a woman’s scream. It’s full of pain and agony. It pains to hear it so, not due to the pitch, but to the emotions that dwell behind it. Even so, it momentarily kept her aware of the situation.
How did it come to this…?
Oh… right.
She took a bullet for him.
Her hand went unconsciously to the wound, warm blood gushing out of it. It stained her hoodie a darker color. She thought that the blood would be hard to wash off later. Vanderwood held her in his arms, as if he’s the only one who knows what to do in the midst of the chaos they are all in.
So was she dreaming, or was it the last minutes of her life? Flashing through her mind in a very realistic way?
With each passing second she could feel her consciousness slipping away. She closed her eyes, the last thing she saw was the familiar pair of mint colored eyes she loved the most.
