#visual novels

Solving your boyfriend’s murder can be exhausting… So take a break and help Jesse solve this word jumble instead!

It’s been a close call for our hero, only just winning the vote by 1%, but here are the results for who you would like to cast as the real life cast of Two Against the World!

Photo credit left to right: EVAN AGOSTINI, Riker Brothers, Getty

Floyd Capo is one crime family boss you don’t want to cross! What would you do if you met him in a dark alley?

Have you read Two Against the World yet? If not, now is the perfect time to meet Nicky and discover where a trip to the theater will take you! If you have, why not see what happens if you make different choices!

So I’ve been working on a little side project, as of late. Not that I really have time for other projects, but I needed a break from Orc Girl for a bit. I decided to focus on something that utilized my creative energies in other ways, while still being in the same wheelhouse thematically (i.e. romance with big, thick dude and cute, curvy girl). I LOVE Wreck-It Ralph, and I have a major crush on Ralph, himself. So I decided to try my hand at a fanfic and concept art.

Title: Wreck-Me

Fandom: Wreck-It Ralph

Ships: Ralph x original female character

Warnings: Bullying(?), loneliness, body image issues

Note: It’s a rather long first chapter. Might want to open/expand it in another tab.

Chapter 1:

Dear… Diary? Is that how this starts? This whole journaling thing is kind of new to me, so I feel a little awkward writing stuff down like this. My best friend Jeanine suggested I start jotting down my thoughts and feelings; she says it’ll be good for me. It just so happened that the programmers decided to add journaling capabilities as a new DLC for the players of my game, and I managed to snag a copy of the code for myself. So here I am. My name is Naomi Stewart and I’m from a game called “Idol Song.”

My game has been out for a few years now. It’s a visual novel: part RPG, part dating sim aimed at young adults that’s all about working your way up to becoming the next musical star, or something like that. It’s kind of a choose-your-own-adventure thing. The gamer even gets a wide range of characters that they can have romantic storylines with.

 Unfortunately I’m not one of them.

That’s right, I’m a secondary, non-romanceable character in a dating sim. I’m the lovable, smart but perpetually clumsy (thanks, Mods) good-girl, best friend who encourages the gamer in subtle ways to keep working on their stats. Due to my programming, music is my passion. I’m a singer and a pretty good one as well. Well, good enough to be in the chorus in every musical performance, or occasionally a back-up singer in a few of my colleagues’ music videos, but not quite good enough to have my own record deal. I always seem to come in second at everything from singing to dating. In short, I exist to make the gamer, and other main characters, look good. The perpetual Rhoda to everyone else’s Mary.

 It’s not a bad job, I guess. Just an unfulfilling one. At least it’s steady work, right? It’s been one of the more popular titles since Litwak decided to add a handful of current gen consoles, in front of squashy couches, to the arcade. Word is still out on how he managed to acquire a PS5 so early, but that’s how I was added to the arcade, anyway. Or my game, rather.

 I do wish the programmers would have been a bit more generous in my character design, though. Straight brown hair in a bob cut that ends just above my shoulders, big round glasses, and noticeably a bit chubbier than the other characters in my game. My bio page says I’m 5’ 5” and 165 pounds. I’ll admit I take that a little too personally.

So I’m cute, but in comparison to the lithe, graceful, sparkling beauties that occupy the majority of the space in my game… I’m thoroughly unremarkable. But that’s kind of the point -I exist to make the gamer and all his or her romanceable options feel extraordinary. I sometimes wonder if the programmers just added me as an afterthought.

All of that would be a lot easier to live with if my co-workers were nicer. I am, of course, frequently over-looked, forgotten and sometimes downright snubbed by my fellow characters. Which is a little unfair, I may not be a major character but my contribution to the game is notable. I’m the first character the gamer meets. I walk them through the tutorial, I’m on-call for any questions the gamer has, and I give them helpful hints along their journey. I guess my role in the game puts me in a weird position -I have more appearances and speaking parts than the other NPCs and secondary characters, but without a storyline of my own I’m just not considered important enough to be respected by my colleagues. 

So I see our new position at Litwak’s as an opportunity. A new life, in my opinion. Several years sitting on a shelf, among a dozen other titles our home gamer never played anymore, the air here has grown stale. I was so grateful when we were traded in at the local GameStop, only to be picked up by one of Mr. Litwak’s employees. At the arcade, we have a world full of possibilities. And I’ve been taking every opportunity to game hop that I can.

I’ve spent time on the beach in Dead or Alive, I go dancing regularly in DDR (even though I’m terrible at it,) and did some sight-seeing in Dragon’s Lair. I’ve even been taking Cooking Mama’s culinary classes on Tuesday nights. Of course, I usually do these things alone. Most of my colleagues aren’t interested in leaving Idol Song. Even when we still lived with our original owner, they rarely checked out our fellow games.

“Why leave? Our game is so comprehensive, we have everything we need here…” They always say when I ask them to come along. “Besides what if you die outside of your game? You won’t be able to regenerate.” I always thought it was worth the risk. It’s just something else to add to the sense of otherness I’ve always felt from the rest of my game. My colleagues have never needed to look for something that made them feel remarkable.

Leaving your game is also an opportunity to meet new people. It should go without saying that my dating life is… well, unsatisfactory to say the least. But tonight, I’ve decided to put myself out there, or rather Jeanine’s nagging has finally weakened my resolve. Burger Time is holding an NPC speed dating event, and I’m going to give it a shot. I figure worst case scenario no one sparks my interest, and I’m basically no worse off than I am now. Best case scenario? I just might meet that special someone. Either way, at least I’ll be able to try one of their burgers. Everyone in Litwak’s raves about them.

‘And speaking of speed dating…’ Naomi looked up from her blue, leather-bound journal to check the time on her phone.

“Crap, if I don’t hustle, I’m going to be late!” Naomi exclaimed as she leapt from her writing desk. She cursed as she bumped her knee against the side of the desk in a rush. Hopping around to favor her uninjured knee led to her stumbling to the vinyl floor as she scrambled to put on her shoes by the door. Standing up, she caught her reflection in the mirror, groaning as she tried to fluff up her fine hair.

“Good enough,” Naomi muttered, snatched her purse, and dashed out the door. She took the steps, briskly but carefully. Being as naturally clumsy as she was, she could never be too careful.

‘As long as I can make it to the subway on time, I’ll be fine,’ she thought, still placing her steps lightly.

“Hi Jeanine! Bye Jeanine!” Naomi muttered as she passed her (only) friend smoking on the stair well. She was dressed today in a hot pink skin-tight top, a rhinestone studded white jacket with fringe, a suede cow-print mini skirt and white cowboy boots. Naomi was perpetually envious of Jeanine’s DLC.

“Where ya’ headed, Naomi?” Jeanine shouted at Naomi in her thick southern twang, tossing her vibrant red hair behind her back. “Game hoppin’ again?”

“No! Erm, yes…” Naomi shouted over her shoulder. “I mean, I’m going to Burger Time, for speed dating!”

Jeanine’s eyes widened. “Look at you! Way to go, girl! Bring yerself back a man!”

Naomi laughed, even though she was blushing. “That’s the plan! I’m gonna… Ooof!” She’d broken her concentration too long, started to stumble, but caught herself. “I’m fine!!!” She added and continued down the street.

“That’s the spirit!” Jeanine shouted. “Good luck!”

Meanwhile Naomi was doing her best to reach the subway on time. She crossed through the yard of a neighboring apartment complex, turned a corner, almost ran into someone else, cut through a corner bodega, down the steps, slid her card and managed to step into a subway car just before the doors slid closed. And she did it all with only one bruised knee and a stubbed toe. Not bad for her usual record.

She plopped into a seat and watched the subway walls rush by. These rails linked all the console games on the shelves through the electrical wires in the walls and ultimately connected to Game Central Station where the classic arcade games were plugged in. It would be a while before she reached her destination, so Naomi decided to queue up a playlist on her phone that she’d made just for the occasion. She wanted something that would get her hyped and ready to meet people. Something that would inspire her to put her natural timidity aside and come out of her shell a bit.

Most of her colleagues specialized in one particular genre of music, but Naomi was programmed to appreciate them all. As a result her playlists were a little eclectic. Tonight’s list included: “I Wanna’ Dance With Somebody” by Whitney Houston, “9 to 5” by Dolly Parton, “Venus” by Shocking Blue, “Juice” by Lizzo, “Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift, and as a little guilty pleasure “Wanna’ Be” by the Spice Girls among a few other titles.

The subway moved quickly along the shelves. Naomi popped in her earbuds and watched the tunnels fly by through the subway car’s windows. She couldn’t help but sway to her music as the stressful day of dealing with a particularly needy gamer, and rude coworkers, was left miles behind her. Naomi began to think about the night ahead and what kind of people she would meet. Honestly she didn’t really know what to expect, but she had a good feeling about it all. It really didn’t matter to her if she met that special someone, Naomi would just be happy to meet other game characters. Especially in a game where her status, and reputation, didn’t proceed her.  

Finally the car burst through the cables to arrive in Game Central Station where it slowed to a halt. Naomi stashed her earbuds away and exited the car. She climbed the steps where a pair of glass doors slid open, and she stepped onto shiny marble tile. Game Central Station sprawled out before her, filled with game characters from all over the arcade. Her colleagues often turned their noses up to the classic games, but personally Naomi loved them. To Naomi this place was exhilarating. She’d been here a number of times, of course, but it never ceased to amaze her. In her mind she was walking the path of the greats of gaming: Mario, Pac Man, Samus and… and… she suddenly realized she was walking in the wrong direction.

“Daydreaming again,” Naomi chastised herself. She turned to walk the other way but apparently moved much too quick for her code.

‘Oh no,’ Naomi thought reaching her arms out, trying to balance herself. Maybe she could catch herself again like she did earlier. No such luck. One foot had caught on the other somehow. She was hurdling towards the floor.

‘I just hope I don’t get a massive bruise on my face,’ she thought briefly, knowing that wouldn’t make her particularly appealing at speed dating. Naomi braced herself for the inevitable face plant, but the strike of cold marble never came. Instead, something big, strong, and warm caught her around her midsection.

Still wincing, Naomi opened her eyes. She was hovering mid-stride (or mid-fall) about 2 feet from the floor. Naomi’s eyes traveled up from the marble tile to around her abdomen. The object supporting her appeared to be an enormous hand. Blinking a few times in confusion, she followed the source of that hand up a thick arm and broad shoulders but couldn’t quite make out a face.

“You okay?” A deep voice asked as he righted Naomi to her feet.

“Oh um… yeah,” she stammered. She paused to smooth out her loose sweater and straighten her glasses which had been knocked askew on her face from her almost-fall. With her glasses on correctly she could make out the face of her rescuer… and the rest of him. And there was quite a lot ofhim.

He was huge! Must have been about nine feet tall if she had to guess. Thick and burly, every inch of him. His large feet were bare, but he wore a pair of ragged brown overalls with one strap missing and an equally ragged orange plaid shirt. In his other hand he held two basketball-sized cherries -one half eaten. Finally she was looking up at a round, pudgy face that didn’t look entirely unfriendly given his size, a little bit of stubble around the chin and a pair of bushy eyebrows over deep brown eyes. He had a head full of messy auburn hair that stuck up in every direction, and a little dribble of cherry juice on his lips that he wiped away with the back of his free hand. Naomi realized she’d been staring.

If the large man noticed, he didn’t let on. Perhaps given his size and appearance, it was something he was used to. He just shrugged and looked away.

“Well try to be a little more careful miss,” he said, just before taking another bite of his cherry and starting to walk away.

Naomi suddenly found her voice again. “Wait!” She cried.

The huge man, still chewing, paused, and looked at her.

“T-thank you,” Naomi said. “For catching me. That was…” she felt her face growing hot, although she didn’t know why. “Really nice…”

He seemed a little taken aback by that, judging by the flush in his own cheeks. He rubbed the back of his thick neck.

“Oh uh… it’s uh… no problem… I was in the right place at the right time, I guess. Uh, I mean… well you know what I mean, right?” He stammered.

Naomi suppressed a chuckle. His awkwardness made her feel a little less embarrassed somehow.

“I was just in a bit of a hurry. I’m supposed to go to uh, to uh…” she didn’t want to say speed dating. “A thing, and I got turned around and well…” she gestured with her arms towards the floor.

“I get it,” the big man replied. “I’m pretty clumsy, myself. I trip over air.” He smirked to reveal a silly, but charming, crooked grin. “So uh, where were you headed in such a hurry, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Over to Burger Time,” Naomi replied.

“Ah I see,” the big man rubbed his chin. “You gotta’ try their bacon double burger. Best one, hands down. I would know. I’ve been eating there for over 30 years now. But uh, I hate to tell you this, you’re headed in the wrong direction.”

Naomi froze. “I-I am?”

“Yeah, it’s actually back that way…” He jerked a thumb over his shoulder.

Naomi groaned. She had been right the first time.

“Oh dear…” she slapped a palm to her forehead. “Wow, real genius here…”

“Hey it’s easy to get twisted around in this place, especially if you’re new,” he said. “I’m guessing you just got plugged in, huh?”

“Do I look that clueless?” Naomi sighed.

“No, no um…” the large man waved a hand as he tried to explain himself. “It’s just I’ve never seen you around here before.”

“Heh well, I am pretty new here. Or my game is anyway. Got plugged in about 3 months back,” Naomi explained. “I’m from one of the Shelf Games.” She’d learned just recently that this was the name the traditional arcade games had given all the home console games lining the shelves. Naomi adjusted the strap on her purse and extended a hand. “My name’s Naomi. I’m from Idol Song.”

Again, the large man seemed taken aback, and hesitated for a moment, but eventually extended one of his massive hands carefully taking hers between his thumb and forefinger.

“I’m Wreck-It Ralph, or just Ralph, I guess,” he said. “I’m from Fix-It Felix Jr.”

“Ralph… Fix-It Felix Jr…” Naomi murmured softly. The name sounded familiar. “Oh! I know that game! I can see the edge of your console from mine!”

“Yeah?” Ralph asked. “Come to think of it, whenever I get tossed off the building, I can see the Shelf Games too.” He blurted out but looked like he immediately regretted saying it.

Naomi wasn’t sure what he meant exactly. She really didn’t know that much about his game aside from the title and the fact that it was an older, classic 8-bit game. Suddenly it dawned on her what Ralph was holding.

“Are those Pac-Man cherries?” Naomi asked.

Ralph looked down at the two large fruits in his hand.

“Yeah, they’re my favorite,” he said and held the non-eaten one out to her. “Want one?”

“I’d love one, thank you,” Naomi replied and accepted it. The fruit was larger than her head, but surprisingly light. “I’ve always wanted to try one. Are you sure you don’t mind?”

“Sure, I get these all the time. Wanna’ have a seat?” Ralph gestured to a nearby bench, but then paused to scratch his head and glance over his shoulder as if remembering something, suddenly.

“Wait, don’t you have a uh… thingto get to?” He asked.

“Oh…” Naomi looked dejectedly over in the direction of Burger Time. “Right…”

Although Naomi had traveled outside her game a fair amount over the past several months, she hadn’t really taken the time, or effort, to get to know any of the characters in them. She felt like speed dating would have been an opportunity to do that. She thought of a night spent hopping around from table to table having half conversations with nervous strangers, in comparison to the friendly stranger in front of her, who had just handed her a Pac-Man cherry, and who she seemed to be having a perfectly enjoyable conversation with. Suddenly speed dating didn’t seem so interesting anymore.

“You know… it’s really not that important, after all,” Naomi smiled, shyly. “I don’t think I’ll be missed…”

Ralph smiled, brightly. That same crooked grin Naomi had noticed before. She felt something within her code flutter at the sight, but she quickly dismissed it.

‘Making new friends is exciting,’ she told herself. ‘That’s all it is.’

“O-okay,” Ralph stammered, as though he wasn’t expecting her answer.

The pair walked over to a nearby bench and plopped onto it. Naomi placed her steps carefully and fortunately managed not to stumble in the process. Once seated she looked at the red fruit in her hands, turning it around to different angles to study it before finding the right spot to bite into. As the fruit was so large, it was a bit of a challenge to eat. Eventually Naomi managed to take a bite and flavor immediately burst onto her tongue: sweet but slightly tart and tangy. More than that, she felt a sudden energy boost rush through her code.

“Wow, these are great!” Naomi muttered between bites.

“Right?” Ralph said, munching on his own.

“In my game we have energy drinks you can buy to give you a health boost, but these taste better,” Naomi said. “We also have coffee and snacks that do the same thing, but the energy drinks work quicker.”

“Yeah?” Ralph asked, then scratched his head deep in thought. “In my game, it’s pies that do that. But they’re not quite as potent as these.” He held up his half-eaten cherry for emphasis. “And to think they’re just lying around all over Pac-Man’s game.”

“Is Pac-Man a friend of yours?” Naomi asked.

“Um, not exactly…” Ralph rubbed the back of his neck. “I mean, we get along okay. I just have a erm… thing I go to over at his game every other week or so.”

Since Ralph didn’t ask her to expand on her thing she’d bailed on, she decided to return the courtesy. Especially since he didn’t seem particularly eager to elaborate upon it. Naomi went back to eating her cherry, but her eyes still rolled back onto Ralph.

He was very different from the guys in her game. Older graphics aside he was big, beefy-looking and a little chubby, but the muscles in his arms were clearly visible when he moved. The guys in her games were all smooth skinned and sharp featured. Ralph had an obvious 5’oclock shadow, prominent hair on his forearms, but a round baby face. The guys in her game were pretty, effeminate, and waif-like, but Ralph… Ralph looked like a man. Naomi kind of liked it.

Until his brown eyes rolled over to her, however, she hadn’t realized she’d been staring. Again. Blushing profusely, she averted her gaze back to her fruit.

“S-sorry!” She stammered. “I didn’t mean to stare. Your graphics are just very… different from my game, that’s all.”

Ralph turned his gaze away. “I was going to say the same thing about you…”

That just made Naomi blush more, but she didn’t think he meant it the same way she did.

Ralph took another large bite of his fruit. “So, what’s your game like anyway?”

“Mine? It’s a visual novel style game,” Naomi explained. “Part RPG, part dating sim.”

Ralph gave her a confused look.

“I’m guessing you’re not familiar with the genre?” Naomi asked.

“Nope,” Ralph said simply.

“Oh…” Naomi looked down at her fruit.

“But don’t take it personally, I’m kind of clueless when it comes to any game made after 1995,” Ralph said, chuckling.

Naomi laughed, too. “Well at least you’re honest. Visual novels are kind of a choose your own adventure game. The gamer gets to choose between different options throughout the game and it ultimately affects what storylines and ending they get. They can also choose to have romances with the characters, and their choices affect how that turns out, as well.”

Ralph blinked a few times. “Wow, games have gotten really complex.”

“It sounds a lot more complicated than it actually is, trust me,” Naomi shrugged.

“If you say so,” Ralph said and took another bite of his cherry.

“So, what about your game?” Naomi inquired. “What’s Fix-It Felix Jr. like?”

“My game’s a lot simpler,” Ralph said between bites. “The gamers just move Felix around and make him fix stuff after it gets wrecked.”

“Ah I see. Classic arcade style,” Naomi nodded. “And what do you do in the game? I’ll bet a big, strong guy like you is one of the heroes.”

Ralph started choking.

“Oh gees, are you okay?” Naomi asked.

“Yeah, I’m… *cough* …fine… *hic*…. Just a little… juice… *cough*… down the wrong tube….” Ralph wheezed.

“Hang on, I think I have a bottle of water in my purse,” Naomi set the cherry in her lap to balance it on her knees while she rummaged through her handbag.

“No, no… it’s… *hic*… fine…” Ralph continued coughing.

“Here,” Naomi unscrewed the lid and handed it to him. “It’s a fresh bottle. I didn’t drink out of it.”

Ralph took it and wheezed a brief “thanks.” The 16-ounce bottle looked more like a test tube in his huge fingers. He threw it back and finished it in one gulp, then clearing his throat one more time sighed in relief.

“Thanks a lot Naomi, that really helped,” Ralph’s voice was still a bit raspy, but at least he wasn’t coughing anymore. He looked at the empty bottle in his hand and frowned. “Sorry I demolished your water like that.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Naomi waved a hand dismissively and took another bite of her cherry. “I have another one in there somewhere.”

Ralph arched an eyebrow. “You just keep extra water bottles in your purse?”

Naomi shrugged. “I keep a little of everything in there: Water, snacks, band aids, tissues… never hurts to be prepared.” Being perpetually clumsy, it was a philosophy she firmly believed in.

Ralph leaned over and peered at the handbag strapped across her shoulder, it was white with little yellow ducks printed on it. It looked barely big enough to carry one water bottle, let alone two, plus all the other items she mentioned. Admittedly even Naomi wasn’t entirely sure how it could hold so much.

“I don’t know much about ladies’ handbags, so I’ll take your word for it,” Ralph muttered. Naomi giggled at his comment before taking another bite of her cherry.

“Anyway, you caught me a little off-guard there…” Ralph said.

“Hm?” Naomi muttered, mid-bite.

Ralph cleared his throat again. “By saying I looked like the hero of my game. I’m uh… not the hero, or even a good guy…” Ralph paused and looked down at his fruit and winced as he spoke. “I’m the bad guy, actually…” His eyes flicked over Naomi, but he didn’t meet her gaze.

“The bad guy?” Naomi looked at him wide-eyed.

“The villain, the antagonist, the nemesis, whatever you want to call it,” Ralph shrugged his shoulders. “Basically I get mad every day and wreck the apartment complex in my game, and Felix, or the gamer I guess, comes along and fixes it with his magical hammer.” Naomi noted a certain disdain in his voice when he said that. “Then once everything is fixed, I get tossed off the top of the building… and into a mud puddle.” Ralph sighed. “It’s not the most glamorous work, but it’s a steady gig and I’ve come to terms with it more or less.” He still wouldn’t meet Naomi’s gaze.

‘A bad guy…’ Naomi thought. Sure, his size made him look intimidating, but otherwise he just seemed like a sweet, country boy. She never would have guessed he was the bad guy, but it made sense now that she was thinking about it. A lot of older games featured big, hulking monstrous villains to contrast with the tiny, unassuming hero: Donkey Kong, Mario, Legend of Zelda… Naomi always felt a little sorry for the bad guys in those games. It didn’t seem fair that they had to be “bad” just because of how they looked. Then again, Donkey Kong, Bowser and Ganon were known for kidnapping princesses and pretty girls. That’s what they were programmed to do.

But truthfully, Naomi had always wondered what it would be like to have a guy steal her away, like that. A guy who was so into her he was willing to be seen as the “bad guy” for it. What would that feel like? For a girl who had spent most of her existence being overlooked and unnoticed it seemed like an adventure; like something remarkable. And weren’t those things she was looking for?

Something fluttered again deep within her code. A strange pounding in her chest that made her feel grounded to her spot, yet lighter than air all at the same time.

‘Get it together, you just met the guy, Naomi…’ She told herself.

Next to her Ralph shifted uncomfortably.

“Well I guess I better get going,” he muttered, looking dejected. “It was nice meeting you, Naomi…” He sounded like he meant it, but why was he just suddenly walking away?

“Wait!” Naomi said a little louder than she intended. Blushing, she paused and cleared her throat. “I-I think it’s really cool that you’re the bad guy… actually…”

Ralph flinched and his eyes went wide as saucers.

“I-it is? I-I mean, you d-do?” He stammered. Judging by his reaction, Naomi wondered if being a bad guy was a deal breaker for most women. She’d never really given it much thought before.

“Well yeah,” Naomi tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, shyly. “You may not be the hero, but you’re a really important part of the game, right?”

Ralph’s cheeks turned as red as the cherry he was holding. “I guess you’re right.”

“And it takes a lot of talent and hard work to be a good bad guy erm I mean, a bad bad guy, oh um…” Naomi stumbled over her words. “You know what I mean.”

Ralph chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “Well not to brag, but I am definitely good at wrecking.”

“As long as you’ve been doing it, I’m sure you are…” Naomi smiled. That same crooked, dopey grin returned to Ralph’s face as he puffed out his chest and tucked a thumb behind the strap of his overalls.

“When it comes to wrecking ma’am, I’m the best in the business,” he said. The little ego boost apparently inspired him to be more macho. Naomi thought it was cute.

Ralph finished the last bite of his cherry and tossed the pit into a trashcan next to the bench. Naomi wasn’t even halfway through hers. She fidgeted with the massive fruit in her hand.

“Do you still need to get going?” Naomi asked, hesitantly.

“Huh?” Ralph asked. There was an almost hazy look in his eyes just before he snapped back to the present. “Oh um… not in particularly.”

Naomi looked relieved. “Good. I must admit, I’m enjoying talking to you, Ralph.”

Again, Ralph looked surprised, but smiled. “I like talking to you too, Naomi…”

There went that weird little flutter again.

‘Cut it out,’ Naomi chastised herself silently. ‘Okay fine. He’s likeable. That’s all…’

“But uh, that being said…” Ralph interrupted her thoughts. He paused when she locked eyes with him again as though losing his train of thought for a second. Then he shook his head and ran a hand through his hair, before speaking again.

“I don’t suppose you’d want to… you know… I mean, you probably have other things you want to do, but if you want to do… erm I mean…” Ralph tripped over his words. “Wait, let me start over…” He took a deep breath. “Would you like to get a drink at Tapper’s with me?”

Naomi’s face lit up. “I’d love to!”

“You would?” Ralph looked equally excited. “I mean… Great! Why don’t we head over there?”

“Okay!” Naomi rose from the bench, then remembered the giant fruit in her hand. “Oh… this is really good, and I appreciate you giving it to me, but I don’t think I can finish it.” She held it out to him.

“I’ll eat whatever you don’t…” Ralph took it and started munching on it as he stood up. He finished it off in a few quick bites and tossed the pit into the trash can along with the other one.

Somewhere in the back of Naomi’s mind a little voice chirped: ‘It’s like an indirect kiss!’ But she quickly shot it down. ‘You’re 30 for God’s sake, Naomi. Who still cares about stuff like that?!’

“It’s back this way,” Ralph jerked a thumb over his shoulder and turned to walk away.

Naomi had to take two steps for his one, to keep up. She could see the portal just up ahead, so it wasn’t far. However, that meant nothing to her programming and in trying to keep up with Ralph she lost her footing and fell face first on the tile.

“You okay?” Ralph rushed to kneel next to her.

“Yeah…” Naomi grumbled. She’d probably have a small bruise on her left knee tomorrow, but mostly her pride was hurt. “It’s my programming. The game developers decided to make being ‘clumsy’ a personality trait for me. It’s supposed to make me more relatable to the gamers, or something like that. But it’s mostly just annoying…”

Ralph offered her his hand. “You’re talking to someone whose only talent is wrecking stuff, so I get it. Programming can be a pain sometimes…”

Somehow that made Naomi feel a little better. It was nice to know she wasn’t the only one who felt like a victim of her own programming. She took Ralph’s hand and he helped her to her feet.

“We’re almost there,” he said, and then added. “I’ll try to walk a little slower.”

“That would be appreciated,” Naomi admitted.

They were just about to walk through the portal to board the monorail when alarms started going off. Ralph groaned loudly. Naomi immediately recognized the blue glowing figure in a security uniform that suddenly appeared. She’d been caught by the surge protector once or twice herself in the past three months.

“Every time!!!” Ralph exclaimed, looking exasperated.

“Name…” the surge protector said.

“C’mon, I come here literally every day,” Ralph groaned.

“Name!” The surge protector repeated, a little more insistent this time.

“Wreck-It Ralph…”

“Game?”

“Your mom…”

“GAME?” The surge protector had no sense of humor. Naomi covered her mouth to hide her laughter.

“Fix-It Felix Jr…” Ralph rolled his eyes.

“Where you headed?”

“Um… Tapper’s?” Ralph gestured to the LED sign above the portal.

“Any fruit or vegetables?”

Ralph showed his empty hands.

“Anything to declare?”

Ralph flipped him the middle finger.

“Classy…” the surge protector muttered. “Okay you can move along.” The surge protector looked over at Naomi as if he just noticed she was standing there. His gaze rolled up and down her form, and then he turned back to his clipboard, but with one eyebrow raised.

“You with this guy?” He asked.

“Er well, in a manner of speaking…” Naomi replied.

“My sympathies…” he shot Ralph a disdainful look. “Name?”

“Ugh!” Ralph groaned as he clenched his fists. “Do you have to hassle her too?”

“It’s fine, Ralph… Wouldn’t be the first time,” Naomi waved a hand dismissively. “Naomi Stewart.”

“Game…?”

“Idol Song,” Naomi said.

“Idol Song?” The surge protector flipped through his clipboard.

“It’s a shelf game, remember?” Naomi said.

“Right…” the surge protector scribbled something with his pen. “Where you headed?”

“Um… Tapper’s?” Naomi replied. “I-is all this really necessary?”

The surge protector ignored her question. “Any fruit or vegetables?”

“I don’t think I have any fruit in here,” Naomi started rummaging through her bag. “But that’s anyone’s guess. I’ve lost a couple Nature’s Valley bars in here over the years…”

“Good enough…” the surge protector grimaced. “Anything to declare?”

“Is this going to be a recurring problem?” Naomi asked.

“It is if you’re hanging with this guy,” the surge protector jerked his head in Ralph’s general direction. Ralph snorted and folded his arms across his chest. “Move along…”

“Thanks…” Naomi muttered and proceeded to walk through the doorway.

“Good luck on your date, Ralph…” the surge protector muttered.

“Date?!” Ralph exclaimed, but when he turned around the surge protector had already vanished. Ralph slapped a palm to his face. “Never mind, let’s just go.”

Was this a date? Naomi wondered. Ralph looked a little tense over the suggestion, but when he saw Naomi giggling (she knew she was blushing too) his expression softened.

“I wish I had the guts to mouth off to them like that,” Naomi said.

“Huh?” Ralph muttered again. “Oh, the surge protectors? They’ve been stopping me for years. Gotta’ have a little fun with them every once in a while.”

They climbed the steps where the monorail was waiting. Ralph stepped onto the platform and then turned to offer his hand to Naomi. He may be a bad guy, but he was also a gentleman. Naomi took his hand and stepped onto the monorail. She noticed how tiny her hand looked in his. It was strange, but she liked how delicate and feminine it made her feel.

They took their seats and the monorail zoomed off down the tunnel. Naomi watched graffiti and wires rush by until the monorail came to a stop right in front of a big pair of doors that read “Tapper” in bold letters over it.

“This is our stop,” Ralph said and stepped off the monorail. Like before, he offered his hand to help her down. In Naomi’s game, people could rarely be bothered to hold the door open for her, let alone offer their hand. (And Ralph did open the door of Tapper’s for her.) It was nice being treated like a lady, for once.

“After you my lady,” Ralph grinned and did a silly, over-dramatic gesture of his arm.

Naomi lifted the hem of her baggy sweater and did a little curtsey. “Why thank you, kind sir,” she replied in an equally silly and over-dramatic way. They both laughed and went inside, but secretly Naomi was thinking: ‘I could get used to this…’

Ralph guided Naomi to a seat near the back of the bar near a sign that read “Root Beer” in bright, neon red letters.

“Two root beers, Tapper!” Ralph called to a short dark haired man up front, shuffling between the tables.

“Comin’ right up, Ralph!” He said over his shoulder.

Naomi blinked a few times. Did they only serve root beer? Wasn’t Tappers a bar? She decided to let it go. Although she wouldn’t have minded an actual beer, she enjoyed good old, sugary root beer too.

A moment later the bar tender, Tapper himself presumably, arrived with two foaming mugs.

“Here you go, Ralph, two root beers for you and Va-… oh,” Tapper paused when he looked up and saw Naomi, as though he’d been expecting someone else. His eyes flicked quickly over to Ralph and then back to her. “Hello…” He said.

“Hello,” Naomi waved her fingers shyly.

“Thanks Tapper,” Ralph said, and gestured to Naomi. “This is my new friend, Naomi. She’s from one of the Shelf Games. Just got plugged in a few months back.”

Tapper’s eyes widened in surprise, and his mustache twitched but his lips were curled into an amused grin beneath it.

“I see…” He pulled a few cocktail napkins, with the Tapper logo on them, out of his apron and slid them under the mugs. “Welcome to the arcade, Naomi. I’m sure I’ll be seeing more of you if you’re running around with this guy.”

“Almost 40 years now, am I right?” Ralph said to Tapper cheerfully.

“It’s work to count, Ralph,” Tapper shook his head. Naomi got the distinct impression that Tapper, being a bartender, got a very close look into the window of all his patron’s lives, and really didn’t want it. He seemed like he just wanted to run his bar and that was it.

The bartender turned his attention back to Naomi. “Watch this guy. He drinks like a fish and tells bad jokes when he’s drunk.”

“I tell bad jokes when I’m sober,” Ralph shrugged.

“You said it not me, man,” Tapper muttered over his shoulder as he walked away to serve other patrons.

Ralph shook his head. “He’s such a kidder… Good guy, though…” Naomi wasn’t convinced that Tapper was entirely joking. Next to her Ralph lifted his mug, and Naomi took the cue and lifted her own.

“To new friends?” Ralph toasted.

“To new equally clumsy and awkward friends?” Naomi suggested.

“I’ll take it,” Ralph said and tipped his mug back for a long drink.

Naomi lifted her own to her lips and took a swig expecting the bittersweet licorice, and sassafras flavor of root beer to hit her tongue but was shocked by what she actually tasted. She put the mug back onto the table and looked over at Ralph who was wiping the foam from his mouth with the back of his hand.

“This is NOT root beer…” Naomi said. “This is beerbeer.”

Ralph laughed. “Yeah it’s called ‘root beer’”- he used air quotes with his big fingers- “because it’s a kids game. But it’s real beer. A lager, I think.” He rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

 “Huh…” Naomi murmured, holding the mug up.

“Uh do you not like it?” Ralph asked.

“No, no it’s fine,” Naomi laughed. “Just not what I expected is all.” She took another swig. It was honestly pretty refreshing.

“Sorry, probably should have explained that,” Ralph said. “I’ve just been going here so long I kind of forget, sometimes.”

Naomi took a few more sips of her beer and set it down again, noticing something odd about the music playing throughout the bar.

“Oh, Suzanna?” Naomi asked, rhetorically.

“Hm?” Ralph muttered as he gulped down another long swig of beer.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Naomi said. “I was just noticing the music here. It’s ‘Oh, Suzanna.’” She paused and then added. “I’ve also noticed it’s already played twice in a row.”

“Yeah, it’s the only song that plays here,” Ralph explained. “You kind of learn to tune it out after a while.”

“I don’t know, I think there’s something kind of charming about it, in a way,” Naomi said. “It’s got that hometown, local bar kind of feeling.”

“That sums up Tapper’s pretty well,” Ralph replied. “Are there any bar themed games on the Shelves?”

“Actually my game alone has several bars that gamers, and characters, can visit,” Naomi explained. She paused to take another sip of her beer. “Most of them have more of a modern, club atmosphere though. I personally think they’re a little too crowded, and the drinks are waaay over-priced, but sometimes I like to go just to nurse a mojito for half the night and listen to the music.”

Ralph scratched his head. “I don’t know what a mojito is, but it sounds like an expensive Shelf Game drink. Yeah I don’t think I’d like something like that either…”

Naomi chuckled. She tried to picture someone like Ralph in one of the pretentious clubs in Idol Song. He’d tower over everyone, of course, and look confused when they brought him their infamous rum bucket drink. It was huge, but it would probably look like a high ball glass in his massive hand.

“So uh, you must really like music,” Ralph interrupted her thoughts, then he winced as if he felt stupid for asking such an obvious question. Naomi, on the other hand, was flattered that someone wanted to know anything about her at all.

“Oh yes! I love music! All types!” Naomi said. “You should see my music collection. I have playlists for every occasion.”

Naomi got the impression that Ralph didn’t know what a playlist was either, but he seemed interested in what she had to say, at least.

“But I guess it’s in my programming to like music,” Naomi continued. “In my game I’m a singer. Most of the characters are musicians of some sort, actually.”

“A singer? Wow, that’s really cool, actually,” Ralph said. “I don’t think I’ve ever met a singer before.”

“Well, I’m just a back-up singer and a chorus girl. I’m not a pop idol or anything like that,” Naomi said, modestly. She thrummed her fingers on her beer mug, thoughtfully.

“But still, I think it’s awesome that you have an actual talent,” Ralph said.

Naomi felt her face getting hot. She was not used to this much positive reinforcement. She liked it, but she didn’t really know how to handle it either, so she tried to switch the subject.

“There’s a lot of talented people in my game. Some of them specialize in certain genres of music, but I kind of dabble in all of them,” she explained.

“That’s pretty cool too,” Ralph said, then looked down at his mug. He swirled the tip of his finger around the rim of his mug, which was already half empty. “I don’t know much about music at all. I mean, now and then I hear a song and I like it, but that’s about it.”

Naomi set her mug down after another long swig. She was only about a third of the way through.

“Maybe I can play some music for you sometime. You can come to my game, and I’ll show you all kinds,” Naomi suggested.

Ralph’s eyes brightened. “Yeah? I’d like that.”

Naomi’s code fluttered again. His country boy charm was starting to rub off on her.

 “So what is your game about, exactly?” Ralph asked. “I don’t think you mentioned it before except that it was a choose-your-own-excitement or make-your-own-fun or all-you-can-choose-game or something like that.”

Naomi laughed again. “Well the game is about becoming a music star. There are different paths you can take along the way. There is a pop-star path, a country music path, a garage band path, a rap and hip-hop path, a metal path, a k-pop path, even a musical theater path. And there’s nothing saying that you HAVE to pick just one, so there are literally hundreds of possibilities, and dozens of endings you can get. And there are characters from each one of the paths that the gamer can unlock a romance storyline with.”

“A romance? With a gamer? Whoa…” Ralph shook his head. “How does that even work?”

“Lots of dramatic cut scenes, and fan service mostly,” Naomi shrugged. “But the gamer gets to learn stuff about the characters that they wouldn’t have known otherwise, and sometimes they get special prizes -new skins, outfits, accessories and stuff, when they finish it.”

Ralph blinked a few times. Clearly some of the things Naomi had just said went over his head a bit, but he seemed to understand the basic premise. He knocked back his mug and drank down the last of his beer. Naomi lifted her own mug to her lips and took a longer drink than normal. There was no way she could match his drinking, but she could try to keep up at least.

“So what about you? What path is yours?” He asked placing the empty mug back on the table and smiling at her. “Surely someone like you has to be one of the main characters…”

Naomi nearly spat her drink out, but managed to gulp it down. She was about halfway through now.

“Um well…” she said as she placed the mug down. She really had been hoping he wouldn’t ask that question, as she had no intention of volunteering the answer. Naomi was NOT a main character. She was barely even a secondary character. She had no path for the gamers to choose. The main characters barely spoke to her outside of what they were programmed to do for their game. If she were being truthful, Naomi considered herself a loser most days.

Ralph on the other hand, may be a villain, but he was still a main character. And a main character on one of the longest lasting game franchises in history. He was awkward and a little shy at times, but for the most part he seemed comfortable with himself. And… if Naomi was being truthful again, she thought he was really cute. Handsome, even. He’d been kind and helpful. He’d opened doors for her, laughed with her, and seemed genuinely interested in getting to know her. Even if Naomi wasn’t a main character, Ralph had made her feel like one. She didn’t want that feeling to go away just yet. They’d only known each other for less than an hour, and there was no guarantee they’d ever see each other again. What harm could a little white lie do?

So maybe it was the alcohol, that was already making her head a little swimmy, but Naomi couldn’t stop herself from saying:

“Yeah sure, you could say I’m one of the main characters.” She didn’t meet his gaze, and instead decided to knock back her mug and drink the other half of her beer in a few greedy gulps.

“Ha! I knew it,” Ralph said, beaming. “You’ve got humble protagonist written all over you.”

Naomi gasped for air after her long drink. “Oh I don’t know about that…” She said, still not meeting Ralph’s gaze.

“You’re too modest,” Ralph waved a hand dismissively. “And I’ll bet you’ve got guys everyday wanting to romance you…” Ralph paused after he said that his jaw hanging open. Perhaps the alcohol has loosened his lips. His face flushed again, and he rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously.

“Y-you want another beer?” He stammered, trying to change the subject.

“Yes…” Naomi nodded. It felt like every fiber of her code was screaming at her. “Yes, I would very much like that.”

Ralph waved down Tapper and a few seconds later two more mugs slid down the table in front of them. It may be an old-fashioned game with dated music, but Naomi had to admit the service was fast. Both her and Ralph immediately took another long drink.

‘Maybe with enough alcohol I’ll forget that I just flat-out lied to this really nice guy’s face…’ Naomi thought as the cool liquid poured down her throat. But drinking too fast wasn’t a good idea for Naomi. The minute the mug left her mouth a long, audible burp escaped her lips.

Naomi froze. Oh no, that wasn’t ladylike at all. The princesses and pretty heroines of video games didn’t burp. (They didn’t lie either.) How embarrassing!

‘Way to go, Naomi, now he thinks you’re gross. Guess you don’t have to worry about the big, fat lie you just told because this night is officially over,’ she thought as she looked over at Ralph, wincing. He was in the middle of another long swig of beer and looking right back at her with raised eyebrows. When he finished, he placed the mug back on the table and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

‘This is it…’ Naomi thought. ‘This is where he tells you you’re a nice girl Naomi, but I don’t see this working out…’ 

Ralph thumped a fist to his chest and cleared his throat. After a dramatic pause he let out an ear deafening belch that reverberated along the walls. Then he turned and gave her a look that said: “How about that?”

A few patrons around the bar clapped, others muttered something like: “Really, dude?!” Or “real mature, Ralph!”

Once the initial shock wore off Naomi doubled over with laughter. Ralph was laughing too. She realized suddenly that she’d been laughing all night. When was the last time she’d laughed this hard? Had she ever laughed this hard?

Okay, so apparently bodily functions weren’t a deal breaker. Good to know.

‘Is this what dating is supposed to be like?’ Naomi thought. Well, this wasn’t exactly dating was it? Just two people out at a bar getting to know each other… Which is basically the purpose of a date, right? Naomi decided it was best not to label it as anything, just yet. She was out having a good time, and that’s all that mattered. Out with someone she could feel comfortable with.

‘Maybe I should just come clean now. Ralph seems like an understanding guy…’ Naomi thought.

Then Ralph looked at her again with that big, goofy grin of his with the adorable gap between his two front teeth, and her code fluttered.

‘Nope… not yet,’ Naomi thought.

“Sorry, I guess I’m pretty gross…” Ralph muttered.

“Maybe a little,” Naomi indicated with a pinch of her thumb and forefinger for emphasis. “But it’s kind of refreshing, actually.”

Ralph gave her puzzled look.

“A lot of the guys in my game are…” Naomi struggled to find the right word. Snobs? Stuffy? Pretentious? High-brow? Too perfect? “…A little boring.” She finally decided. Funny, she’d never thought of them as boring up until now. But in the presence of someone who actually interested her the guys of her game suddenly seemed dull. In all fairness, those guys had probably thought the same thing about her for years.

“It’s part of the game, I guess” Naomi continued. “A lot of the characters have to be super perfect. It’s romance, after all.”

“I think I’m following,” Ralph said.

“Well uh, except for me, that is,” Naomi added a little too quickly. “I’m sort of the quirky, clumsy girl archetype.” She laughed nervously. Naomi had heard of other visual novels with main characters like that. Unfortunately, her game wasn’t technically one of them. “It’s part of my charm, right?” It wasn’t a total lie.

“Well yeah… actually,” Ralph said, rubbing the back of his neck. Naomi paused. Did he find her quirks and clumsiness charming?

“If that’s the case, then what is the bad guy like in your game?” He asked, then his eyes widened. “Wait, don’t tell me YOU’RE the bad guy in your game?” His smirk suggested that he was partially joking.

Naomi shook her head and chuckled. “No, not me. We don’t really have any bad guys, per se, in my game.”

Ralph looked taken aback. “No bad guys? How does that work?”

“Well it’s just a little more complicated, I suppose,” Naomi explained. “I mean, there are conflicts in every storyline and some characters don’t get along with others, and some characters are more ethically questionable, but we don’t have a villain in the classic sense of the word. It’s basically a soap opera.”

Ralph scratched his head. “I’m familiar with soap operas. Litwak used to have them on the TV in the arcade a lot during the 80s.” Then Ralph leaned in closer to Naomi. Very close, she noticed. She could smell him. He smelled like bricks, mud, sweat and well… male. Pungent, but not entirely unpleasant.

“Secretly I kind of got hooked on ‘Days of Our Lives’ for a while…” Ralph whispered.

Naomi let out a sound that was somewhere between a giggle and a snort.

“Did you really?” She asked.

“Hey I had to do something in those slow daytime hours when I wasn’t wrecking,” Ralph shrugged. “But shh,” he put a thick finger to his lips. “Don’t tell anyone. It could ruin my sparkling reputation.” He winked at her.

“Your secret’s safe with me, Ralph…” Naomi giggled. Ralph rested his cheek in his gigantic hand and looked over at her.

“Look, I’m going to be honest with you Naomi, I’m really enjoying just sitting here talking to you over drinks,” Ralph said. He had a dreamy look in his eyes and a glow to his cheeks that wasn’t just from the alcohol. “It’s been a while since I’ve had this much fun.”

Naomi rested her cheek on her hand and looked back at him. She wondered if her eyes had the same dreamy look.

“I’m having fun too Ralph,” she said. “For the first time in my life, I think I’m grateful for my clumsiness.”

‘Tell him the truth, tell him the truth, tell him the truth,’ something in the back of her mind screamed, but she ignored it. It was nice being seen as the “it-girl” for once. 

“Really?” Ralph asked. “I think I’m kind of grateful for it too.”

They both laughed and found themselves leaning just a little bit closer to one another. But their private moment was soon interrupted by a cheerful voice.

“Hey brother! Fancy seeing you here!”

Ralph sighed.

“Hey Felix… Calhoun,” Ralph turned to greet the little handyman and his tall, intimidating wife.

“Evenin’ Ralph,” Felix tipped his hat. “Tammy and I decided to wet our whistles a bit before heading home.”

“Have a seat, guys, I’m just sharing a drink with my new friend here,” Ralph was blushing, but puffing his chest out proudly as he gestured to Naomi.

“New friend? Well put er’ there chum, nice to meet- oh…” Felix put out his hand, but paused when he saw the cute, bespectacled girl sitting next to his huge friend. Him and Calhoun both blinked a few times.

“Guys this is Naomi. She’s from the Shelf Games,” Ralph said, then paused and looked at Naomi. “Um, Idol Song, right?” Naomi nodded so Ralph continued. “Naomi, these are my friends Felix and his wife, Calhoun.”

“Outside arcade hours, most just call me Tammy these days,” Calhoun muttered and put her hand out to shake Naomi’s. Naomi couldn’t help but stare. Calhoun, or Tammy, was a very beautiful woman, but with a certain severe toughness that made her a little imposing, if fascinating.

Felix who seemed in a state of shock finally snapped back to attention. He politely removed his hat and put it over his heart, extending his other hand to shake Naomi’s firmly.

“Pleasure to meet ya’ ma’am,” Felix said. “Any friend of Ralph’s is a friend of mine.”

Naomi had to bite her tongue to keep from giggling. Felix had a country boy charm to him, as well, but in a different way from Ralph. Ralph was more like the rough-around-the-edges tough guy, who’s secretly a teddy bear. The kind of guy who would have had a nickname like “Moose” in high school and joined the wrestling team because he was too clumsy for football. Felix on the other hand, seemed more like a Baptist preacher. The kind of guy who made straight A’s in high school, and was voted prom king on account of being friends with literally everyone. Ralph and Felix were like two sides of the same coin.

Naomi suddenly noticed the golden hammer hanging from Felix’s toolbelt.

“Oh you must be Fix-It Felix Jr.,” she remarked. “Ralph’s been telling me about your game.”

Felix grinned proudly. “That’s me, ma’am. Nothin’ I can’t fix.” He placed his hat back on his head then nudged Ralph in the side. “Been fixin’ what my ol’ pal’s been wreckin’ for close to 40 years now.”

Ralph rolled his eyes, but Felix didn’t seem to notice. Him and Tammy sat down at the table across from Ralph and Naomi.

“Two more root beers, Tapper!” Ralph called, then added. “Actually make it four, looks like Naomi and I are about to run dry.” He looked over to Naomi and asked: “You want another one, right?”

Naomi looked at her beer mug. There was about a quarter left and she was already feeling a bit tipsy. “Sure, why not?” She shrugged. It had been a while since she’d been drunk, and tonight she needed it.

A few seconds later, four drinks slid into place in front of Naomi, Ralph, Felix and Tammy. Felix, sipped his carefully, Tammy and Ralph knocked theirs back depleting about a third of theirs in one go. Naomi took a hearty swig.

“I didn’t think the Shelf Games came around this way much,” Tammy piped up, her beer mug still lifted halfway to her lips. Her dark eyes rolled over to Naomi. “How did you two meet, exactly?”

“Oh um…” Ralph and Naomi both started speaking at once, then they looked at each other and started giggling. Felix and Tammy exchanged knowing glances.

“It’s fine, you tell it,” Ralph muttered.

“Sure, sure…” Naomi began and turned to Felix and Tammy. “First of all, you’re right. A lot of the Shelf Games don’t go to Game Central Station much. I’m kind of an oddity I guess…” She laughed nervously. Tammy didn’t say anything, so Naomi cleared her throat and continued. “But I was headed to an… an… event over at Burger Time. But I got a little twisted around, and then I somehow managed to stumble and well…” Naomi’s eyes flicked over to Ralph.

“And then I caught her…” Ralph interjected.

“And from there we started talking…” Naomi continued.

“And we kind of hit it off…” Ralph rubbed the back of his neck.

“And we decided to come have a drink, or few,” Naomi said.

“And uh… yeah… here are…” Ralph shrugged.

Felix and Tammy looked at each other again, but they both seemed amused.

“So you never made it to the event?” Tammy asked, an eyebrow raised.

“Uhh… no,” Naomi tried to sound nonchalant. “I just decided it wasn’t that important.” She lifted the mug to her lips again. “Besides I think this is way more fun.”

Felix tilted his glass. “You got that right! Nothin’ like drinks with good friends.”

The four of them clinked their glasses together.

“I’ll drink to that,” Ralph said.

“You’ll drink to about anything, Wreck-It,” Tammy muttered.

“I can’t argue with that,” Ralph shrugged and took a long swig. Everyone else laughed.

Naomi set down her drink again and gathered up her purse. “Excuse me for a moment, everyone. I need to use the ladies’ room. I’ll be right back.” She slid her chair out from the table and trotted off to the restroom. Stumbling once along the way, in her never-failing grace.

***Ralph

Unbeknownst to Naomi, Ralph’s eyes followed her the whole way. He sighed contentedly before realizing his friends were staring at him.

“What?” He asked.

“Oh Ralph!” Felix sprung from his seat to hug his arm. “I’m so happy for you, buddy. I was always hoping you’d find a nice girl!”

Ralph rolled his eyes, but he knew his face was beet red again. “Cut it out, Felix. I just met the girl.” He peeled his arms away and sat the tiny man back in his chair.

“And already finishing each other’s sentences…” Tammy teased. “There’s more chemistry here than a bad lab accident.”

Ralph slapped a palm to his face. “C’mon you guys, it’s not like that…” But even he felt that wasn’t particularly truthful.

“You say that, but you got the honey glow in your cheeks something fierce!” Felix insisted.

“I do not…” Ralph waved his hand at them and turned his head away. He could feel how hot his face was. Eventually he turned back to face them, his mouth twisted into a grimace. “Look, I just don’t want to jinx it or anything.” He added with a sigh and took another drink.

“Aw brother, don’t be so down on yourself,” Felix said reassuringly. “It’s good that you’re putting yourself out there.”

“I don’t exactly have the best luck with women,” Ralph looked into the murky contents of his mug, sadly. “Just because I’ve gotten a smidge further with her doesn’t mean things are going to turn out any differently. Once she sees me wreck things she’ll probably head for the hills.” He took another swig, a sad smile twisting his features. “Guess I should just be happy she talked to me this long.”

“You’re a luckier bastard than you think,” Tammy said. Felix flinched at her curse word.

Ralph eyed her suspiciously.

“You sound like you know something, honey bunches,” Felix leaned against his wife and she took a moment to stroke his head affectionately.

“Well I don’t know for certain, but I have a pretty good idea… She said she was headed to an event at Burger Time tonight, right?” Tammy asked.

“Yeah, what about it?” Ralph questioned.

“Do you know what that event was?” Tammy asked.

“No, I didn’t ask and she didn’t volunteer so…” Ralph said.

“Apparently there was supposed to be a speed dating thing going on there tonight,” she replied.

“What are you getting at?” Ralph asked, and then added. “And uh, what’s speed dating?”

After taking a moment to explain how speed dating worked to Ralph, Tammy said: “So the point I’m getting at is that I think that’s probably what she originally intended to do, tonight.”

Felix looked up at Tammy frowning, his eyes wide. “Uh sweetie, why do you know about this speed dating thing?”

“Relax, babe, I just overheard my men talking about it. A handful of them wanted to give it a try,” Tammy explained.

Meanwhile Ralph was scratching his head, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“I still don’t see what this has to do with me,” Ralph grumbled. “So she decided not to go to this fast date, erm speed date, thing. So what?”

Tammy exhaled sharply and leaned towards Ralph. “Do I have to spell it out for you, Ralph? The girl was supposed to go to a speed dating event where she had the opportunity to meet lots of eligible men, but instead she chose to hang out with your sorry ass for the night.”

Ralph’s jaw dropped. He didn’t know what to say to that, but Tammy had a good point. He looked up just as Naomi was exiting the restroom and coming back to their table. Their eyes locked from across the room, and she smiled in a way that made something deep in his code do a somersault.

“Honeyglow…” Felix whispered to Ralph, but instead of pushing him away Ralph just smiled and rested his chin in his hand. He watched this cute girl… No, this beautiful girl carefully step her way back to the table. Maybe…

“Thanks, Tammy” Ralph whispered over to Calhoun.

Tammy snorted. “Don’t get used to it, Wreck-It. I’m just tired of your moping.” But a smirk curled along her lips.

“Hey everyone!” Naomi said, cheerfully as she shuff