Characters - Taekwoon x Original Female Character, VIXX Ensemble, Original Characters
Rating - General Audience
Summary - Minah doesn’t know why Taekwoon shows up to her games when he doesn’t know anyone on the team. Or rather, she knows why but finds it quite incredulous.
“Taekwoon is here again” Miya points out as she laces up her shoes tighter.
Minah doesn’t dignify her statement with a response as she ties up her long braided hair into a bun because she knows what will come next.
“I think he likes you” Miya whispers conspiratorially. She wiggles her eyebrows and Minah shoots her a deadpan look.
“I don’t know what gave you the impression,” Minah says, pushing the freshman kid physically onto the field so she can focus on the game and not the audience. Although it’s not hard to wonder why the captain of the basketball team is at the football match in a rival school. As far as Minah knows, Taekwoon is not friends with anyone on the team. But the boy in question is here with his best friend Jaehwan and watching the game.
Minah wonders if the measly support they do have is of any use because the girls are huddled up and giggling about their audience today instead of brainstorming strategy.
“Get your head in the game girls” Ara calls out when she notices Minah scowling. She offers her an understanding look before jostling everyone into a huddle to get them to focus. Their team is one goal behind their rivals and at a risk of losing if they don’t get their act together.
Minah makes the mistake of looking at the audience and Jaehwan catches her eye to cheer her on. She watches as Taekwoon tries to hide his face out of embarrassment and almost chuckles if not for the indignation over the entire affair. She feels his eyes on her as she joins the huddle and they cheer before breaking off and returning to the field for the second half. She shakes it off because she has a game that she wants to win and that requires her entire focus. Not silly boys who are in random places for reasons she can’t fathom.
Their coach cheers loudly when they score a goal and tie with the other team. There is fifteen minutes still on hand. If Heeyeon can push through the defense line on the other side, she can easily score with Miya’s help. Minah focuses on going on the offensive. They have thirteen minutes and nothing to lose if they don’t score. Her team is good at penalty shoot outs if it comes down to that.
The regular time ends in a draw but Heeyeon and Miya pull through in the over time and score, leading their team to victory. Minah gets thrown into the air as a long running victory tradition of the team and lands on her butt and is surrounded by a rush of girls apologising and pulling her to her feet and a frantic coach yelling about injuries mid season when they should all be in top form.
“I hope you’re not actually injured,” Taekwoon says and Minah is surprised to see him here by the benches instead of by the bleachers. Jaehwan is off talking to Ara and Minah is surprised because she didn’t know they were on talking terms. There is clearly a lot she needs to catch up on with her best friend and team assistant.
“Nothing that I’m not used to” Minah shrugs. Injuries and roughhousing are a part and parcel of being an athlete. Taekwoon sports his own knee brace and is no stranger to this knowledge.
“And here I thought only the boys team got this rough,” Taekwoon says, sitting down next to her. He hands her a water bottle and she accepts it with as much grace as skepticism affords. Why is he here again and why is he offering her a water bottle?
Miya’s words echo through her mind but she brushes them off. The rough landing has affected her brain more than it has affected her body clearly if her mind is willing to entertain such ridiculous thoughts.
“I need to go,” Minah says, standing up when Ara calls everyone to round them up for the bus trip back to school.
“Right,” Taekwoon says, standing up as well. He pushes his hands into this pocket and awkwardly shuffles his weight from one leg to another as Minah gathers her things.
“That was a good game. You… play good” he calls as Minah walks away and she freezes. A nod is all she can manage as her cheeks flush warm on the words. He likes how she plays. That’s… something, she supposes as her brain goes haywire trying to figure out what in the ever loving fuck she must do with this knowledge.
Out of the corner of her eye, she sees him hit his head and sigh in embarrassment that mirrors her own and feels marginally better. She boards the bus and tries to avoid how Miya and Ara both shoot her knowing looks.
-
“I don’t know why cheerleaders can’t attend away games” Qiuyue huffs as she leans over the sink and fixes her lipstick. The maroon shade suits her lace blouse and Minah thinks that it’s incredibly high maintenance for a normal school day compared to her own sweater and jeans combo.
“It’s common sense that you would need cheering the most at an away game. You already have a large audience that supports you when you play at school” she adds, frowning at Minah.
“You can apparently attend away games so I don’t know what is stopping you from just accidentally showing up in your cheering uniform with pompoms to boot” Minah throws a suggestion out to the wind.
“I’d need someone to drive me there” Qiuyue huffs. Knowing Qiuyue, the cheerleader is not going to give up till she convinces the coach and Minah thinks she can pull it off if she begs enough. Or if she shows up with the sweet apple tarts from the local cafe that their coach likes so much.
“Speaking of people attending games, I heard from Hyojin who heard from Ara that Taekwoon showed up at your game again,” Qiuyue says, lowering her voice to a whisper.
“He did and before you ask me, no I don’t know why” Minah replies with a roll of her eyes. Jung Taekwoon is popular and hot news wherever he goes but Minah doesn’t fancy ending up on the gossip network that the entire sophomore year runs on.
“That’s easy, silly. He likes you and so he comes to watch your games” Qiuyue reasons as if it is the most perfectly normal thing in the world. And maybe it is for boys who like girls but Taekwoon doesn’t like Minah because that is not the sane course of action for anyone involved.
“Yes well not everyone is as obvious as Hongbin when it comes to wooing you” Minah retorts and Qiuyue chokes on the water she is drinking.
“Hongbin is not ‘wooing’ me. He shows up to the games because he likes sports. He even tried out for Taekwoon’s team, remember? And by that logic, you are admitting to Taekwoon showing up to your games to woo you” she points out.
“No one is wooing anyone in my case” Minah retorts with a half snort.
“Well no one is wooing me either and I think we’ve said wooing too many times because the syllables sound weird now” Qiuyue says, repeating the word to herself with a grimace that makes it look like it left a sour taste in her mouth. Minah thinks it is more denial than sourness but doesn’t push the other girl further.
“We have a free period next. Do you think I can copy your math homework before submission time?” Minah asks, changing topics.
“You’re still not done?!” Qiuyue exclaims in shock. “That assignment is the longest we’ve had!! You better be good at power writing or just be plain simple fast.”
Qiuyue pulls Minah out of the bathroom and off to the library and Minah thanks her lucky stars that Qiuyue has never stopped Minah from copying her homework.
-
Minah thinks that the only thing that makes school on Saturdays bearable is the fact that they can arrive an hour later and leave two hours earlier. It gives her time to avoid the weekday rush and pick up coffee and that does wonders for her morning mood.
She finds Miya and Jungkook sitting at the stairs and listening to music on a shared ipod. The two of them are lost to the world and very likely to miss the first bell in ten minutes but she doesn’t want to be the one to disturb the bubble they are in.
She finds Taekwoon by her locker and is surprised. He’s waiting for Kyungsoo to pick up his books. Kyungsoo who has a locker right next to hers (a fact that greatly helps Ara when she wishes to stop by and drop letters to the one she admires while drawing no attention to herself).
“I didn’t know you liked coffee,” Taekwoon says, looking at the cup in her hands. It’s long cold and empty but has the drawing of a teddy bear face that the barista who works on Saturday mornings likes to draw for everyone.
“Isn’t caffeine the lifeblood of every rational human?” Minah asks and Taekwoon laughs a bit. It’s a pleasant laugh that sounds like wind chimes on a windy summer day and is infinitely more pleasant than the warning bell that rings a moment later.
Minah grabs her textbooks and slams the locker shut because the lock is faulty and does not actually lock without the use of force. Taekwoon helps by re-slamming the door when it swings open and jamming it in place. Minah gives him an awkward smile because the locker is embarrassing her now and hopes he hasn’t seen the insides which she meant to clean up lastonth but never got around to.
“There’s this really nice cafe near the public library” Taekwoon starts before Kyungsoo yells and exclaims he will be late and interrupts their non existent conversation. Taekwoon sighs and yells at him to go along first and turns to Minah who is already balancing the coffee cup on top of the books she needs to carry.
“I can help you with that,” Taekwoon offers, gesturing to the growing pile of books and notebooks in her hands.
“I’ll be fine” Minah waved him off. He watches her with concern as she walks to her classroom and narrowly avoids bumping into Sanghyuk and Wonshik by the door.
“I see why you insisted on accompanying me” Kyungsoo comments with a smirk.
“Shut up” Taekwoon replies eloquently before turning around and walking to his own classroom, leaving Kyungsoo to carry the huge pile of assignments on his own. He deserves it for the interruption.
-
“How did you know that you liked Kyungsoo?” Minah asks Ara as she paints her nails. Light purple is a lovely colour on her and Minah has half a mind to borrow it for herself.
“I just woke up with a deep bottomless pit in my stomach and a feeling of dread and knew” Ara replies. It matches how Minah feels every time she sees Taekwoon in the hallways so it must be right. It still unnerves her.
“But how do you know it isn’t just a stupid crush that will go away?” Minah asks. Taekwoon is the first boy to show interest in her in a very long time. The first boy ever actually.
“That’s the beauty of it. You don’t. You could wake up the next day and not like the same person you were obsessing over the day before. You take every day as it comes” Ara explains.
“You’ve liked Kyungsoo for a while,” Minah remarks. Ever since freshman year if her deduction skills have any merit.
“What does it mean if you like someone for a very long time? Even if it is just a simple crush or just being interested in them?”
“You should ask Qiuyue that. She’s liked one person for the longest time I’ve ever known. Even if she says she doesn’t” Ara replies.
“Qiuyue thinks Taekwoon likes me” Minah confesses, coming to the topic that’s actually on her mind.
“Do you think so? Do you like him too?” Ara asks in return.
“He talked about this really nice cafe he knew and I… kind of liked the thought of spending time with him,” Minah admits.
“Was he trying to ask you out on a date?” Ara gasps.
“Stupid, I know. And he never really asked because Kyungsoo interrupted us but I thought he would” Minah says, flopping onto Ara’s lap with a sigh.
“On the contrary, I thought he would ask you to come see one of his games before asking you out on a cliche cafe date. And rest assured that no one will find Kyungsoo’s body after this grave crime” Ara tells her, frowning heavily at the offense.
“I guess it’s because he saw me with my Saturday morning coffee” Minah says as Ara fixes her hair and applies some lipstick on her. It’s a shade of brown that’s lighter than she usually wears but it doesn’t look half bad.
“He has the right spirit, I’ll give him that” Ara says, checking her work. She adds eyeliner and glitter blush and Minah lets her experiment because she’s lost in thought.
-
“You look super cute!” Qiuyue exclaims when she sees Minah. It’s a Saturday evening and she would rather be sleeping at home but Ara insists that Minah accompany her and Miya to the basketball game so they can support Qiuyue who’s cheering for the home team.
“Besides, it’s only fair that you go to one of Taekwoon’s games since he attends yours,” Miya says as she pushes Minah to wear a skirt instead of jeans. It’s a decision she regrets because it makes her legs freeze. At least she looks cute, she thinks.
“We’ll go grab some seats and you can get snacks?” Ara asks.
“Please get candy that I can steal” Qiuyue adds on, strapping her pom poms on her wrist bands so that they don’t fall off during the routine. She takes off before Minah can respond and Minah sighs, knowing her motherly instinct will make her feed Qiuyue anyways.
She grabs popcorn and a bar of rice crispies and chocolates that Qiuyue likes and treks over to the bench before heading over to the seats Ara found. She finds Hongbin kneeling down and helping Qiuyue with her shoelaces and the girl in question coloured the deepest shade of red she has ever seen her.
Minah approaches her with a smirk and Qiuyue shoots her a warning look before thanking Hongbin and practically running from him to Minah. “Careful or you’ll fall and then Prince Charming will have to carry you” Minah teases and Qiuyue punches her shoulder.
“Don’t worry I’ve got her” Hongbin says, slinging an arm around her waist and Qiuyue starts.
“Lover boy, you can flirt after the game” Taekwoon yells and the entire cheerleading team breaks into giggles at the expense of the two. Qiuyue scoffs and leaves to hide behind any kind samaritan since her own friends are of no help.
“I was going to give this to her but maybe you can for me” Minah says, handing over the chocolate to Hongbin who takes the excuse to follow Qiuyue.
“You’re ruining my teammate” Taekwoon complains when he walks over to greet her.
“I’m helping the cause of love” Minah replies with a bright smile.
“Cupid is grateful I’m sure” Taekwoon says sourly with a frown. Minah laughs and watches the cheerleading team get into formation and Hongbin wistfully push the chocolate into his pocket and save it for later.
“I think that’s your cue” Minah points out.
“Will you stay till the end?” Taekwoon asks before leaving.
“Hard to say. I was supposed to be Qiuyue’s ride home but I don’t think she’ll be leaving with me and I am sure you guys would be busy celebrating the end of the season” Minah reminds him.
“I’m still glad you came” Taekwoon says.
“Me too” Minah agrees even though it hasn’t even been thirty minutes since she arrived.
-
“Taekwoon asked me for your number” Qiuyue texts Minah after the game. “I guessed you both looked friendly enough so I thought it was okay to give it to him.”
“He hasn’t texted me so I guess he didn’t really need it for anything” Minah responds because what else can she say.
She wishes she hadn’t told her because now she checks her phone every five minutes. Much to her disappointment, her volume is up and she just has no notifications.
Her phone chimes two hours later with a simple text saying “ hey, did you get home safe after the game ?” and she almost screams in the middle of putting a facemask on.
“ I was not the one at a wild party after the game ” she replies.
“ Touché ”
-
“ Mango ice cream or strawberry?”
“ Mango ”
“ You have terrible taste ”
“ Says the man who chose milk chocolate over dark ”
“ I am offended ”
“ Guess what I felt when you chose lattés over black coffee ”
“ Not everyone has an edgy bitter dark soul ”
“ No, some people have souls full of cream from the designer coffee they consume ”
“ Ha ha ha ”
-
In hindsight letting Qiuyue dress her up for her date is a very bad idea because Minah finds herself in a floral dress (“It has pockets!”) and a white jacket that Minah is worried will stain very easily. Qiuyue does let her wear her flat sandals in place of heels and agrees that they will be easy to run in if she gets cold feet and Minah gives her extra friendship points for that.
“You look… really pretty” Taekwoon says when he comes over to pick her up. Minah meets him downstairs on the street instead of the apartment so that her sister won’t see that she’s going on a date and hopes Taekwoon doesn’t mind.
“Thanks. I don’t usually dress this fancy” Minah says because she has a habit of putting her foot in her mouth.
“I think it looks nice on you” Taekwoon says, blushing because he feels honoured and happy that she put in the effort for him. He might even giggle into his phone if he wasn’t serious about impressing her on their first date.
“We should get going. We’ll be late for the movie” he tells her. They’re going to watch the new indie romance movie. Though if Minah is honest, she’s just going to watch Taekwoon who looks stunning in plaid shirt and jeans. He is wearing the long earring he considers lucky and it’s Minah’s turn to blush now. He doesn’t need luck for a date with her. She already knows they will get along well from all the late night conversations they’ve had till now.
Movie is followed by a late lunch in a McDonald’s that both of them feel overdressed for. The lunch also coincides with a child’s birthday party and they forsake conversation because talking over sugar induced screaming is a futile exercise.
They do end up talking about whether it is possible to kidnap the baby toy poodle that is left unattended for a minute by its owner. Minah thinks Taekwoon just might follow through with the plan if the owner doesn’t return soon. She laughs when the owner does return and Taekwoon’s face falls.
It’s a pleasant afternoon so the two of them end up in the cafe by the public library. The small cafe is covered in wall decals of cat figures and there are cartoon stickers on their cups and Minah laughs at how childish but pleasing all of it is. It’s not a side of Taekwoon that she expected but is happy to get to know.
The conversation flows smoothly despite Minah rolling her eyes at the amount of cream in Taekwoon’s coffee and his wariness over the strength of her coffee.
“Sleep is for the weak” Minah whispers and he sighs.
“Never considered you weak” Taekwoon replies but occasionally looks at her coffee like it would sprout two extra heads at any moment.
“Just pretty” she teases, mixing the sugar in.
“Beautiful” he corrects her and smile triumphantly when she blushes. He’s smooth and she marks him down as a player and bad for her health in her book. Her heart is not going to survive if it is going to flip-flop at this inhuman rate every time Taekwoon compliments her.
She still doesn’t know why he’s here in a cafe with her, looking at cat stickers and drinking bad coffee and fighting over ice cream flavours but she quite likes it. Even if he’s going to be clearly bad for her.
PAIRING: Wonsik/Jaehwan/OC RATING: Explicit WARNINGS: Threesome. I guess there’s some power dynamics but nothing intense WORDCOUNT: 5935
Notes: I wrote this fic some time ago and I’m posting it now for reaching 100 followers c: thank you all so much! I’m still writing other fics and will be posting something interesting soon! Enjoy!
The days that pass by are drowsy, packed with heat and the roaring noise of factory machines from the mills three blocks over. The posters peel off the electricity pole, revealing the maroon red rusting beneath. A single touch would result in your skin burning from the ferrous substrate.
The power is gone once again, like it usually was during the afternoons. Hongbin watches as Sanghyuk flips through the pages of the copy of Sputnik Sweetheart , stolen from his older brother’s bookshelf. Sanghyuk is too young to understand these stories, his brother insists. What does a thirteen year old know of people feeling melancholy and emptiness from unrequited love and unattachment?
Hongbin likes to think that he knows. There is a far away look in his eyes now, an emptiness inside him ever since his mother finally up and left. His father abandons all pretenses of the family being together and stops coming home entirely that one fateful night in April. At fifteen, Hongbin understands melancholy and loneliness in ways Sanghyuk’s brother thinks Sanghyuk won’t.
“You’re doing that thinking thing again” Sanghyuk points out and Hongbin hums. It is June now and it is far too hot for Hongbin to sling his arms around Sanghyuk’s waist and bury his face in his shoulder to hide the emotions that are always on display on his face. He hates that the most about himself even if he feels safe enough in Sanghyuk’s presence.
“It’ll be good if you thought in a while too” Hongbin retorts, letting the sassy facade take over. How many times can he be sad about the same things till Sanghyuk gives up on consoling him?
“Are you thinking about your mother?”
“What makes you say that?”
“It was her birthday yesterday. I saw you looking at the calendar you have hidden away under your mattress” Sanghyuk confesses. His voice is still high pitched and hasn’t grown deep the way Hongbin’s has. In his childlike voice, everything sounds naive and innocent and Hongbin always forgives him for it. There is not much room to hide secrets in this sixteen by twenty feet room they share.
“It’s okay to miss her,” Sanghyuk adds, putting his arm around Hongbin’s waist. Hongbin turns to his left to look at Sanghyuk. His face is only a few inches from his own and his gaze is steady, searching for the answers to the complex maze of emotions that Hongbin himself does not have.
“I don’t want to miss her. Not when everyone knows she doesn’t miss me” Hongbin says. It’s commendable that the anger and bitterness he has kept bottled up doesn’t explode vehemently into those lines. The feelings flood his mind every time the topic is brought up and Hongbin does his best to stop the flow of emotions with the success of duct tape holding together a pipe bursting at its seams.
“Okay” Sanghyuk says. His actions are different from his words because he pulls Hongbin in and holds him and lets Hongbin bury his face in Sanghyuk’s neck like he always does. He kisses the back of Hongbin’s head and pats his back and lets Hongbin intertwine his legs with his own and holds him despite the stuffy heat. The sun shines angrily on the dry ground outside but Hongbin thinks he only has a grey misty sky clouding his mind.
“Will you leave me when you grow up?” Hongbin asks Sanghyuk. Sanghyuk’s brother will leave in September. He’ll go to a reputed college on the other side of the country and that will be one more person in his found family who does not come back home regularly.
“You’re older than me. You’ll be the one who leaves first” Sanghyuk reminds him.
“Kiss me” Hongbin asks in lieu of replying. Those are demons he harbours for darker days. Hongbin is selfish that way. He will hold onto whatever he can for however long he has it because he knows nothing lasts. The old yellowing wedding card promising eternal love and happiness that his father hides in his closet is proof that nothing lasts.
But when he feels Sanghyuk’s lips on his own the static in his mind drops to a quiet hum. Sanghyuk is skinny and his body feels bony under Hongbin’s small fingers. Sanghyuk hovers over him and his weight is a pleasant distraction from the world. The way Hongbin calls Sanghyuk’s name when he runs his fingers through his hair is a rhythmic metronome that is spoken in hushed tones to keep his dependency on Sanghyuk’s affection a secret from the rest of the world.
Sanghyuk falls asleep in Hongbin’s arms but when he wakes up, Hongbin is not in his room. His brother tells him that he went home and comments on how odd it is and how Hongbin should move in with them properly instead of staying in that lonely apartment. Sanghyuk nods but knows Hongbin won’t return for a few more days.
Sanghyuk doesn’t see him for days following moments like the one they shared earlier today. It happened the first time they kissed and the second and the third. It will happen again tomorrow. Maybe Sanghyuk will see him by the field, playing football with Wonshik and inviting him to join the game like nothing has happened. Or maybe hanging out at the cafe in the mall because the part timer there has a soft spot for him and always gives him free milkshakes. Sanghyuk doesn’t know.
He tries not to think about it and goes back to reading.
-
02
If there is one part about growing up that Sanghyuk thinks he will never get used to, it’s the parties. He likes people but he doesn’t like dozens of them stuffed into tiny spaces that reek of smoke and cheap shitty alcohol that is more likely to cause nausea over intoxication. He draws his jacket close and finds a chair by the kitchen’s island counter to sit on.
It’s the premium view to everyone else’s bad decisions. Sanghyuk regrets not bringing his earphones along (he swears they should be in the pocket of his jacket). He makes peace with listening to whatever indie song is playing in the background. Or whatever is audible of it over the incessant chattering of the crowd.
“Leather looks good on you,” Hongbin says, materializing out of nowhere to grab a cup of the fruit punch that has definitely been spiked.
“Thanks,” Sanghyuk says, pulling on the cuff. The leather jacket is an old jacket that his father almost throws out but Sanghyuk sneaks back in. It has cracks around the elbow where it has been bent up and two yellow stripes on the right sleeve but he doesn’t know what that signifies. He likes to think it’s a cult of sorts. The allure of being part of an underground secret society is always high.
“Kinda short for your normal sleeves,” Hongbin says, tugging on the part of Sanghyuk’s overshirt that peeks through from the jacket. It’s dark blue and not visible in the dim purple lights till you really go looking. His father was shorter than him whenever he got this jacket but Sanghyuk knows Hongbin is not interested in explanations. Sanghyuk focuses on the way the rough skin of his fingers feel against his softer skin. Hongbin has rough hands from all the chores he does on his own and lack of belief in hand creams that Sanghyuk’s baby sister rubs on his hands during tea parties insisting he keep them soft.
Hongbin focuses on looking at Jaehwan across the room. Jaehwan who has blonde hair now and is leaning against the wall while laughing at something someone from the football team said. Sanghyuk doesn’t know the name of the dude but he isn’t interested in finding out. Even while Hongbin asks after Sanghyuk’s family and school life, his eyes stray towards that corner of the room.
When Jaehwan returns his gaze and smiles at Hongbin, Hongbin smiles in a way his dimples appear. He has one of those faces. The kind you would see on magazines on the racks of newspaper stands at bus stops. The black eyeliner enhances his brown eyes and Sanghyuk thinks that all Hongbin is missing is a pretty nude shade lipstick. Though lipsticks do nothing except spread inconveniently when being kissed. Or so he has been told.
He hasn’t kissed Hongbin since the summer where he was fourteen but the urge never really goes away.
“I think I should go get a refill,” Hongbin says when Jaehwan walks over. Sanghyuk shrugs and Hongbin makes a beeline for the punch the same time Jaehwan appears by the island counter. Jaehwan is only here to chaperone his younger brother who is throwing the party, Sanghyuk gathers from the bits of conversation filtering through. The music is too loud for indoor voices to be heard. Hongbin is here just because Wonshik wanted to get drunk. Sanghyuk doesn’t need to eavesdrop to know that.
He taps out when the conversation progresses. He finds Wonshik who is truly wasted and is glad someone out of the three in this friend group is getting what they want out of the night. Sanghyuk wonders if it is a fair standard of evaluation if he started the night without knowing what he wanted. He looks towards Hongbin who is laughing at a weird face Jaehwan is making and adds a thought about unrealistic wants and needs.
It’s stupid. Hongbin is nineteen but is as unreachable as someone who would be twenty five. Hongbin is too pretty for him. Too smart, too pretty and too witty. They have too much history. And now Hongbin is kissing Jaehwan and is definitely not in love with Sanghyuk the way Sanghyuk is in love with him.
Wonshik pouts at Sanghyuk and leans forward till his head rests on Sanghyuk’s shoulder. Wonshik is only an inch taller. In a year or two, Sanghyuk is confident he will outgrow the other man. “I wish they wouldn’t suck faces in public” Wonshik grimaces when he follows Sanghyuk’s line of vision. Sanghyuk looks away and tugs his jacket closer. Maybe it is too short for him after all since it cannot afford the comfort of sleeve paws the way sweaters can. Maybe he should get a new jacket. Or maybe Sanghyuk should have just stayed at home.
Wonshik has a ride home and waves Sanghyuk off when he leaves the party. He makes his way to the bus stop at the end of the block and sits down. The party music is a hum in the background and the cold air is sobering. Sanghyuk weighs his options. He can go home and read for the rest of the night or walk to the arcade five blocks away and blow the rest of his pocket money and see if he can earn enough tickets to buy himself the badly stitched teddy bears they sell.
Hongbin likes those teddy bears. He’ll lie and say no if you ask him and spout bullshit about how they just represent the principle of winning that he loves so much. But he is a sucker for cute things and Sanghyuk knows from the way his eyes lit up when Sanghyuk won a brown teddy bear and threw it at him last summer. He has a small version threaded into the metal ring that acts as a keychain.
Sanghyuk thinks that he should stop thinking.
One year. Just a year, he tells himself. Then he’ll be off to university and he will meet other people and he might even discover that he doesn’t actually like dimples or brown eyes or rough hands so much. One more year and he won’t be haunted by the unrequited feelings that seem to grow stronger instead of fading against all laws of the universe and logic.
Sanghyuk treks back home and thinks he should worry about saving up for a second hand car or actually passing that stupid driver’s test. He finds his earphones tangled with the fabric of the inner pocket of his jacket once he reaches home and he laughs at the bad luck of his timing.
-
03
Hongbin doesn’t realise that he has gotten used to the loneliness that comes from Sanghyuk’s absence.
He calls during the first year of university. Hongbin thinks Sanghyuk’s voice on the phone sounds very different from the way it sounds in real life. It sounds deeper and grave in ways Hongbin doesn’t remember. Sanghyuk has always been wise beyond his years. Maybe he thrives in the real world with the same grown up concerns that Hongbin does not like grappling with.
Then Sanghyuk gets an email id because it is useful and sends emails instead of calling. The letters are short and really Hongbin is shit at keeping in touch because he doesn’t have anyone else who tries. Wonshik has always been in the same town and Sanghyuk has always been around to the point that Hongbin took his presence for granted. He never thought Sanghyuk would ever go away like his brother did.
The emails come once a week and then once a month and finally on holidays and only contain generic good wishes.
Until Wonshik shows up at his door with Sanghyuk in tow,carrying a small duffle bag filled with clothes and essentials. It’s just for a week while Wonshik’s studio gets renovated, he assures him. Sanghyuk only needs a couch to crash on for a week and he can move back in with Wonshik for the rest of winter till he has to go back to university for his final semester. Hongbin didn’t even know that Sanghyuk was in town and he used to know every secret once upon a time. He doesn’t know why he isn’t staying with his family and he doesn’t know if he can ask.
“You can stay as long as you need,” Hongbin says, offering to make coffee for everyone. Wonshik denies the offer. He needs to leave first and look over the renovation work on his studio.
Sanghyuk looks nothing like Hongbin remembers him. He is taller than Wonshik by a few inches and his voice is deeper. His shoulders are broad and the large overshirts he wears only accentuate them. He took to working out when they still talked on the phone. He must definitely be more muscular too. Gone is the lanky teenager in his father;s old leather jacket that Hongbin remembers. Instead Sanghyuk is an adult who looks more mature than he should for the young age of twenty one.
“I didn’t think you read Hemingway” Sanghyuk says, picking up a copy of Farewell To Arms that’s lying on the coffee table.
“It isn’t my book. Taekwoon tends to leave behind whatever he is reading at the moment” Hongbin tells him. Taekwoon does that a lot. Forgetting things at Hongbin’s place and coming back for them weeks later when he is finally free enough to spend the night. It’s a peaceful arrangement for their unlabelled relationship. If he can even call it a relationship.
“Are you sure Taekwoon doesn’t mind me staying over?” Sanghyuk asks.
“Taekwoon doesn’t live here. Not fully anyways. And if anything, he would be happy to meet another bookworm” Hongbin shrugs.
“He’ll be disappointed. It’s been a while since I didn’t read a book to write a critique or a report on it” Sanghyuk says ruefully.
He flips through the pages till he finds the section he was looking for and folds up his legs to read comfortably. Sanghyuk spends the next two days voraciously reading through the books Taekwoon has left behind. He doesn’t talk more than necessary. It snows on the third morning that Sanghyuk stays over and they exchange remarks about the weather. Hongbin opens up a bottle of wine on Christmas eve and Sanghyuk accompanies him wordlessly.
He prefers white wine, Hongbin supposes when Sanghyuk downs the entire contents of his glass and grimaces at the after taste. He has grown to tolerate the taste of mushrooms and no longer separates them out of the microwaveable pasta meal that Hongbin makes. He prefers typing on his laptop to writing in notebooks, he gathers when he sees Sanghyuk tapping away on the kitchen table with a mug full of coffee next to him. It’s the ‘World’s Best Mom’ mug that Taekwoon left behind that Hongbin finds supremely ugly but it matches Sanghyuk’s presence. Unconnected but a lone puzzle piece that sits as the centerpiece in the void of Hongbin’s life.
Sanghyuk doesn’t smoke, Hongbin finds when they are lying on Hongbin’s bed in his bedroom and Sanghyuk denies the offer. Never took a liking to it, Sanghyuk confesses. Hongbin listens to a vinyl that Wonshik gifted him two years ago for his birthday and Sanghyuk says nothing about the 80s music. He thumbs through the earmarked pages of a collection of poems by T S Elliot.
“Taekwoon must really like classics” Sanghyuk deduces. There are very few books on the coffee table but Sanghyuk is intimately acquainted with them in ways Hongbin isn’t.
“He’s a sucker for them. Also likes Murakami the way you did in high school” Hongbin answers. He doesn’t get the appeal for reading. He doesn’t have the talent of losing himself in the written word that Taekwoon and Sanghyuk do. He doesn’t even know if he should envy them for the easily available method of escaping the dreary world around them.
“He has good taste” Sanghyuk compliments him.
“It’s a shame that you couldn’t meet him on this visit. He’s off celebrating Christmas with his family.”
“There will be many days in the future,” Sanghyuk says lazily. The way he turns the other way and avoids looking at Hongbin tells him that the other days will not come any time soon. Hongbin thinks of the emails in his inbox that he merely glances over and never knows how to reply to and doesn’t blame Sanghyuk.
If only he didn’t have to leave tomorrow. If only he could stay.
When Hongbin puts his arm around Sanghyuk’s waist and closes his eyes, he pretends he has the right to ask him to stay and that Sanghyuk won’t be gone the morning after. He’ll only be a few streets down the road in Wonshik’s studio till spring comes and he might even visit if he stops being a coward that only regrets and never acts.
His waist is broader than Taekwoon’s and Hongbin keeps that comparison in mind for days after when Taekwoon finally comes to visit and Hongbin hugs him to kiss him. Everything is back to normal now that Sanghyuk is gone once again but the world feels displaced out of orbit by the knowledge of what Hongbin is missing.
-
04
“I met Sanghyuk” Wonshik says, running his hands through his hair. He adjusts his chair for the fifteenth time since the conversation has started, much to the displeasure of the lady at the table over, trying to read the newspaper in peace.
“That… is sudden” Hongbin says, swirling the creamer into his coffee. Hongbin has known that Wonshik was seeing someone for a while now but doesn’t know who till the confession. Now there is a name that Hongbin hasn’t heard in years. A person he couldn’t live without once but has not talked to in four years. Is he allowed to miss him after never keeping in touch?
“He’s back for good this time” Wonshik tells him. “He’s going to teach at our old middle school. He’s weirded out by the idea of being colleagues with his old teachers. Did you know Mrs Kim is still teaching math after all these years? I thought she was over sixty when we were kids.”
Wonshik rambles on and Hongbin pays him no thought. Sanghyuk’s name brings up memories and feelings that it shouldn’t. Hongbin wonders if he has gotten any taller or if his voice is still deeper than he remembers and if he signs off emails with regards.
“We should have dinner together sometime,” Hongbin says when Wonshik finally stops.
“I’ll text him. You can’t bail like you did last time though” Wonshik warns. Hongbin flinches at the warning and offers an apologetic smile. Wonshik frowns at him. “It’s been a while since the three of us got time to hang out. It has literally been years since we properly spent time together.”
“Well, I’m not the one that shifted towns and lost touch, am I?” Hongbin says out loud without meaning to.
Wonshik’s expression softens and he shifts again awkwardly. Hongbin and Sanghyuk’s estrangement as they grew older when Wonshik once thought they were in love with each other as teenagers is a development he never addresses because he knows it wasn’t his place to. Realistically speaking, he can’t be friends with both people and skirt around the issue forever. A decade is a miracle on that count.
“I’m sorry. I just… Will you text Sanghyuk and set dinner up?” Hongbin apologizes. His pleasant facade is back and Wonshik knows he will never see his true feelings about the issue again. The bitterness is real in a way most of Hongbin’s actions aren’t. And it gives him hope to salvage this friendship. Wonshik doesn’t fancy losing friends as he grows older when he only has so many to begin with.
“It’s okay to say you missed him, you know? I missed him too” Wonshik says without the expectations of acknowledgement or responses. Hongbin hums in the way people do when lying about agreeing with something a child says. Wonshik knows Hongbin is complicated and he doesn’t expect him to resolve his feelings any time soon.
“I wonder if he likes moving back to town after living in a big city all these years” Hongbin deflects. He hasn’t acknowledged his feelings in the four years since he last saw Sanghyuk and he isn’t about to start now. Any moments of weakness like the one earlier will not be repeated again.
It takes two bottles of soju only for Hongbin to mess up. Wonshik drags the two of them to a tent bar that sells a variety of rice cakes along with cheap soju and beer and Hongbin agrees despite the lack of fried chicken. It’s a Friday night and the three of them drink the night away and laugh at Sanghyuk’s stories from his earlier teaching days. Stories that range from innocent but hilarious spelling mistakes in answer papers to outrageous pranks that Sanghyuk personally admires but must punish as a teacher.
A laughing and happy Sanghyuk is better than the sad young man who spent a week on Hongbin’s couch, not talking to him about the troubles weighing on his mind. Happiness suits him in ways melancholy never did. Hongbin thinks his skin shines and his eyes twinkle and Sanghyuk must know this because he catches Hongbin looking at him and looks at him with such pity in his eyes. Sanghyuk pities him and Hongbin feels pathetic about feeling happy that he feels something.
And so Hongbin leans on his arm all the way home even after they drop Wonshik off at his apartment. He leans on his arm and holds onto it like a drowning sailor holding onto a lifebuoy so they don’t drown. And he tells Sanghyuk about how his hair is soft and shiny and his nose is a tiny button and he cannot help but lean up and graze his lips against it. Sanghyuk laughs and calls him drunk but lets him bask in his warmth because Sanghyuk is his puzzle piece that fits with his odd edges, even if he will never say those words out loud.
Sanghyuk is surprisingly strong because he hauls Hongbin up to his feet and all the way to his apartment. Hongbin kisses him on his cheeks and thanks him for taking him home while laughing about… about something. He doesn’t know what it is that triggers his giggling fit but something does and Hongbin exclaims at Sanghyuk who is ready to drop him on his butt in front of his door if he doesn’t get his keys out soon. He exclaims at him and kisses him on his lips when he has his attention and this is why alcohol is terrible for you really. All of this is a regret in waiting for the morning after.
Sanghyuk stumbles on his way down the stairs in a way that makes it look like he never learnt how to walk. His cheeks are warm where Hongbin kissed him and his lips tingle in the way they do after eating something extremely spicy. He leans against the pole of the lamp post and sighs when the tingling doesn’t go away. He thinks of how he will hide this from Hakyeon.
It’s so easy to say nothing but a part of him vehemently protests about deceiving Hakyeon when Sanghyuk knows his residual feelings for Hongbin still linger. He should love his boyfriend more than the old flame who kissed him in the hallway. He shouldn’t have to remind himself that he loves Hakyeon and not Hongbin. Hakyeon is the one waiting for the text that says he got home safely and didn’t drink too much and he really shouldn’t let Wonshik drag him out on school nights. Not Hongbin, who Sanghyuk just dropped home, drunk out of his mind and still as complicated at thirty as he was at thirteen.
Sanghyuk really hates Hongbin more on nights like these.
“I don’t know what to do” he confesses to Hakyeon weeks after they break up. His feelings for Hongbin have always been a vine that grips his heart. He knows he cannot be rid of them without significant pain and hurt and so like a coward, he lets it fester because he knows he can ignore them forever. The roots dig into the walls of his heart and make him bleed and he bleeds because he is the biggest coward to exist on this planet.
“You do what your heart tells you is the right thing” is all Hakyeon says. He’s disappointed and it’s more than Sanghyuk deserves after everything Sanghyuk has just told Hakyeon. Hakyeon who is all gentle smiles and understanding and who Sanghyuk is grateful to even if it must end this way.
“Loving Hongbin is dangerous. He hurts you and nothing comes out of it and then he hurts you some more” Sanghyuk tells Hakyeon. Hongbin hasn’t called or texted after that night. Sanghyuk hasn’t either but its only because he knows Hongbin hates confronting his own feelings. He breaks hearts before his own can be broken and Sanghyuk thinks limbo of not knowing is better than definite pain.
“I don’t think you have it in you to stop,” Hakyeon says. His words would hurt if Sanghyuk didn’t feel tormented enough already. He sighs because he has no words and Hakyeon shifts the topic to other things that don’t matter in the moment and keeps the chatter up till it is no longer awkward to end the phone call.
When the call ends, Sanghyuk brings up his messaging app and stares at Hongbin’s number and watches the bubbles appear and disappear in the messages window. As always, no texts follow and Sanghyuk leaves his phone on the nightstand because he should know better than to have hope.
Sanghyuk wonders bitterly if he has loved Hongbin or if he has regretted him longer.
Summary - In which Taekwoon falls in love with Hongbin the way they describe it in books, Sanghyuk and Hakyeon’s love blooms like late flowers and Jaehwan and Wonshik fall in love slowly but as passionately as embers turn to fire.
Status - Completed
Fandoms - VIXX
Pairings - Taekwoon x Hongbin, Hakyeon x Sanghyuk, Jaehwan x Wonshik
Summary - If I knew words enough, I could write the longest love letter in the world and never get tired. - F. Scott Fitzgerald.
Love at first sight is an indescribable feeling. Taekwoon thinks if he knew words enough, he would be able to articulate the heady rush that was falling for Hongbin.
My lovely November. Have you seen my heart, somewhere in your castle of yellow leaves?
– A Waltz for Zizi
“Why did you come back to Paris?” Wonshik asks Hongbin.
He lays on his bed, sleep elusive as ever and watches his brother sketch as he lays on his own bed. Hongbin’s bed is the one by the window and the golden light makes the tips of his hair look golden as opposed to brown. His skin glows, though Wonshik thinks it is the sweetness of a deep love that causes it and not sunlight.
It’s a small room but it won’t be for long. Wonshik has saved nearly enough from his earnings to buy a small apartment in a slightly better neighborhood. He watches as Hongbin sighs in response to his question and wonders if he will need to move to a bigger place when he is inevitably left alone.
“Tell me about Taekwoon, I barely know anything about him” Wonshik says and Hongbin launches into an animated description of him, Amboise and all the people he met there.
He wonders what kind of man his brother fell in love with, after knowing him only for a few days. He wonders if it is fate for them to have met in such a serendipitous way. He wonders if Jaehwan makes a habit of sneaking away pretty boys to far away places.
“It’s a shame you couldn’t come with us,” Hongbin says wistfully. “It would have been a lovely vacation.”
“There is never any rest for the wicked” Wonshik replies without looking. His gaze has been fixed out of the window and on the horizon where the sun set an hour ago and the orange sky gave way to blue. The clouds are shaped like pink cotton candy and Wonshik thinks if he reaches out to it, it might melt from the warmth of his touch.
“The café was quite busy today. Looks like it’s picking up business. I’ll come in tomorrow to help out” Hongbin promises. He feels guilty when he realises his brother has been managing so much work on his own and resolves to do better.
Wonshik waves him off. He has new staff who are quite capable of handling their duties. Besides, he knows Hongbin’s heart lies in his art and not washing the dishes or manning the cash register. Besides, the café is just downstairs and if Wonshik really needs Hongbin’s help, he will call for him. He expresses the same and Hongbin makes him promise it.
He closes his eyes as Hongbin’s phone chimes and his face lights up at a text from his boyfriend. Wonshik has an early morning and would like to give Hongbin some semblance of privacy.
His own phone is devoid of any messages and he finds that he quite misses Jaehwan, even if his flirtations might mean nothing in the end. Wonshik is now out of sight and out of mind for Jaehwan. He shouldn’t raise his hopes. His brother has a once in a lifetime fairytale romance and such fortune isn’t meted out so easily.
—
Jaehwan thinks he is lucky enough to catch his breath after endless days of stress. His family is a mess after his eldest brother elopes with the love of his life - a woman his mother disapproves of - and in a fit of rage, his father strikes him out of his will and exiles him from his family.
Secretly, Jaehwan envies his brother for finding an escape route. His parents will never forgive him and never see him or talk to him again. Jaehwan can’t think of a greater freedom to aspire to.
“Now you listen to me Lee Jaehwan” his maternal aunt says, wagging a knitting needle wrapped in wool at him. His aunt is the eldest among four sisters and comes down from Sicily to meet his mother and console her after the terrible affair.
“Don’t you dare follow in your brother’s example. When the time comes, settle down with a good girl of your parent’s choosing. None of this elopement nonsense. You’ll quite break your mother’s heart.”
His aunt’s tone quivers with rage towards the end and his mother grows hysterical and so Jaehwan doesn’t have a choice but to agree and softly reassure his mother that he would never do such a thing. His aunt moves on to lecture her own teenage daughter and he takes the chance to get a glass of water to drink.
His heart has already betrayed his family’s aspirations. Even if he has no expectations of Wonshik returning his affection. When was the last time they talked? Has Wonshik forgotten him? Does he think Jaehwan forgot him?
—
“The only thing worse than Taekwoon liking red wine would be him suddenly declaring he is in love with fruit wines. God forbid such a travesty but my brother has the poorest taste” Jaehwan grouses.
The sun has set over the valley and Hakyeon is napping on Sanghyuk’s shoulder and Jaehwan can listen to Wonshik laugh on the other end of the phone. The world is perfect in this moment and Jaehwan lets the warmth besiege his heart.
“What have fruit wines done to you for you to dislike them so vehemently?” Wonshik asks on the other end. Jaehwan can hear him brew coffee from the telltale sounds of the espresso machine.
“It’s a matter of principle” Jaehwan insists. Wonshik hums in response and Jaehwan frowns at his lack of indignance on his behalf.
“I wish you were here with us. You would have loved it here” Jaehwan confesses.
“Hongbin said the same last we talked. I was almost envious that I wasn’t there” Wonshik replies. It’s Jaehwan’s turn to hum as words fail him. He wants to tell Wonshik that he wants him here for himself but chickens at the last minute. Perhaps he should have called him after he’s had more liquid courage in his body.
“It’s a shame that his vacation has to end. I don’t think Hongbin wants to come back home” Wonshik jokes.
“He’s truly, madly, deeply in love. It’s one for the romance novels” Jaehwan says proudly.
“I did ask him if he wanted to stay there longer but he said he felt homesick” Wonshik said with regret ringing his voice.
“I’m sure he’ll be welcomed back any time. Hakyeon and Taekwoon both have gotten so close to him in such a short period of time” Jaehwan says proudly.
He doesn’t do this often, asking pretty boys to run away with him. It was a spontaneous offer meant for Wonshik but it was probably fate that Hongbin came in his stead. Fate that Taekwoon and Hongbin were supposed to meet like this and for Jaehwan to play his part in uniting them.
“I’m happy that he is happy” Wonshik says as he tinkers with vessels in his kitchen. Jaehwan thinks of his broad frame and the coffee coloured apron he loves to wear and the smell of scrambled eggs that he always orders and is struck by longing. Perhaps he should steal away on the train to Paris and refuse to go to Milan.
“It truly is a shame” Jaehwan says.
—
02
It is growing cold. Winter is putting footsteps in the meadow.
- Roman Payne
“Do you think it will snow in Paris this winter?”
The text comes accompanied with a picture of Jaehwan in the sunlit neighborhood. It almost makes Wonshik think it is an old picture from earlier in the summer.
It’s been a month since Hongbin came back to Paris and their conversation resumes slowly. Jaehwan tells him about his brother’s elopement and his father’s anger and the sudden onslaught of responsibilities that has befallen him. Wonshik replies that he understands but he doesn’t, not really. He doesn’t remember his parents and doesn’t think they would be as strict as Jaehwan’s sound.
“I doubt it. Paris never has snowfall beyond a light dust on the sidewalk even in the coldest winters” Wonshik replies as he keeps an eye on the sauce Chiwoong is cooking.
His newest recruit has the potential to be a chef someday and has an intuitive understanding of flavours and spices but also has the bad luck of burning his food because he never pays attention.
“It never snows in Milan” Jaehwan writes back. “Snow is a rare miracle. And with the high temperatures this year, I doubt it will snow this winter as well.”
“I didn’t know you liked snow this much” Wonshik says, mildly surprised. Jaehwan is a warm summer sun personified and he vaguely recalls Jaehwan saying his favourite season is spring. Yet the childish petulance in the reply makes Wonshik question his memory.
“I didn’t as much when I was growing up but I went to Lucerne for the winter when I was nineteen. It was my first proper winter and it was beautiful.”
“Is there a country in Europe that you haven’t travelled to?” Wonshik asks jokingly. Jaehwan is the most extensively travelled person he has met. Wonshik never truly understood wanderlust till he met Jaehwan.
“Malta is the only one left. I was thinking of travelling there in spring next year. But as it stands, I doubt I will be going anywhere for a while” Jaehwan replies.
“Maybe spending some time with your family for a while is not such a bad thing. Your parents clearly feel better with you there” Wonshik says.
“Frankly, it’s a nightmare here. It was bearable when my brother was around but now I can’t wait to get away” Jaehwan tells him. He adds angry emojis for effect and Wonshik finds it cute.
“I might go away to Berlin for a while to inspect my father’s factories there. I think I might be there for Christmas.”
“Will you be in Paris anytime soon?” Wonshik types and deletes. Why would Jaehwan be in Paris? What reason does he have to travel here? He sends a polite “oh?” in response and Jaehwan texts him about the things he plans to do in Berlin on Christmas and about the winter markets he hopes to catch the tail end of.
Wonshik looks over and sees Woosung plating the salmon and pouring the sauce over. It isn’t burnt and Wonshik considers this progress and pats Chiwoong on the back. His crew moves on to tackling the slowly increasing lunch rush and Wonshik takes leave from his conversation to focus on his work.
He idly wonders if he should wish for snow in the winter and use that as an excuse to ask Jaehwan to come visit him.
—
December is halfway through when Taekwoon pays Hongbin a surprise visit.
Wonshik and Hongbin take the evening off from work and attend a friend’s birthday. Drunk and out of their mind, they casually stroll down the streets to their apartment. The night is young but the cold makes their noses turn pink and makes them pull their coats close together. Wonshik regrets not bringing a scarf along and stops when they find a rather tall lanky man in a large overcoat that almost comes up to his knees.
“Taekwoon?” Hongbin calls out, uncertain at first. The silhouette is familiar but it could just be the alcohol talking. The man turns and smiles and Hongbin practically skips onto the porch to hug him. That is definitely the alcohol, Wonshik thinks. Hongbin is rarely that forward. Then again, Hongbin is a changed man.
“Surprise” Taekwoon says and his soft voice takes Wonshik by surprise. He stands transfixed, as surprised as his brother is.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming to Paris?” Hongbin asks, hitting Taekwoon on the shoulder. Taekwoon puts his hand around and whispers something into Hongbin’s ears, making him smile.
Wonshik bows his head and walks around to the staircase that leads up to the apartment. He doesn’t want to interrupt the lovebirds. There will be plenty of time for introductions later
Once back in their shared bedroom, Wonshik pulls his phone out to text Jaehwan. “Did you know that Taekwoon was planning on visiting Hongbin?”
“He was thinking of visiting him for Christmas” Jaehwan replies.
“He’s here today. Hongbin and I were out to meet a friend and when we came back, Taekwoon was waiting for him at the café” Wonshik tells him.
“That’s so romantic. I didn’t think Taekwoon would actually pull it off. He’s more on the shy side.”
“Something we have in common then.”
“Are you telling me that the cheerful café owner that greets every customer who walks in is a facade?!?!?!”
Wonshik rolls his eyes at the excessive exclamations and sarcasm. He throws his coat into the closet and jumps unceremoniously onto his bed.
“I wish I was in Paris too” Jaehwan types. “Berlin is beautiful but it would be better with you here.”
“What’s stopping you from running away?” Wonshik asks.
“I truly would have if my elder brother hadn’t beat me to it” Jaehwan types.
“Seems like the season for everyone to go on grand adventures for love” Wonshik says out loud to himself.
He briefly entertains the thought of running away with Jaehwan. Maybe he can escape to the countryside too, driving to scenic places with wind and stray petals in his hair. A warm summer sun shining down on them instead of this cold winter breeze. Together and not miles apart.
“I wish you were here” Wonshik types and deletes.
—
03
I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently?
- Lewis Carroll
“You’ve been distracted as of late” Taekwoon comments. Wonshik sighs because he considers lying but fails to find a good enough explanation. Of all the things he has learnt about Taekwoon in the past few days, the most important is that he isn’t talkative. But he is quite sharp and observant and doesn’t miss anything.
“It’s just been a long day” he says as he wipes the floors. It’s past eight and he’s closing the café early since there are no customers. Taekwoon is taking Hongbin out for a fancy dinner and Wonshik doesn’t fancy spending the night alone at the café. Hence Taekwoon is here, sitting by the counter and waiting for his brother while talking to him.
“I understand” Taekwoon says sympathetically. He sips on the coffee Wonshik prepares for him and takes in the café. Wonshik knows it isn’t his first visit but this is the first time he is in his café without being distracted by his brother. His gaze narrows on the bookshelf against one of the walls, by the grand piano and Wonshik almost laughs. Jaehwan and Hongbin always called him a bookworm and he sees it firsthand now.
Taekwoon takes care not to dirty the wet floor and he tiptoes to the bookshelf. He peruses through the collection, mostly French bestsellers and pulls out a book. It’s a coffee table book of famous lyrics from romance songs that Inseob, one his closest friends, added to the collection. It’s one of the popular ones among the customers who come to his café to read. Wonshik has never paid attention to books but wonders if he should start with this.
Taekwoon stops at a page and reads it out loud. “Quand on n’a que l’amour pour tracer un chemin et forcer le destin a chaque carrefour.”
“When we have only love to show the way” Wonshik translates, "and change the course of fate at every crossroad.“
"It’s a mad business, to be in love with someone” Taekwoon says gently. “There’s hardly any recourse to sensibility after.”
“Is all romantic love that passionate?” Wonshik wonders idly.
“Sometimes love is a roaring fire of passion. Sometimes it is a slowly burning ember, sustaining through a long night together” Taekwoon says. He moves to the piano and presses a few keys. The instrument has slowly gone out of tune and Wonshik feels conscious about the weary state.
“Hongbin told me you liked to play” Taekwoon tells him as he plays a few chords. Wonshik knows the tune as the beginning of a piece that the neighborhood music shop would teach some of the beginner students. He doesn’t know the composer or the fancy names of the chords, just the combinations from playing by ear.
“I used to. I haven’t in a long time” Wonshik admits. It’s been years and he doubts he will remember anything.
“Jaehwan loved to play too. When he was over at the family house in Amboise, we could hardly tear him away from the grand piano” Taekwoon recalls with a smile. “Did he ever play for you here?”
“Unfortunately no” Wonshik says regretfully. It’s one of those things he didn’t suspect about Jaehwan, but once learnt fits perfectly into the puzzle that is the man he likes.
“You might be lucky. He would never have stopped if you had let him play” Taekwoon scoffs. Wonshik laughs and Taekwoon admires how his eyes twinkle. Hongbin is the prettiest man he has ever known but his brother is no less handsome.
“Well, I don’t know when Jaehwan will be in Paris next so maybe I am safe for the foreseeable future” Wonshik says. There is a tinge of regret there and it is enough for Taekwoon to pick it up and frown.
“Well, if I know Jaehwan, he would give anything to give everything up and be here in Paris. Surely, you know how he feels?” Taekwoon asks delicately.
“I do…” Wonshik trails off.
“But you worry about the distance between the two of you” Taekwoon says wisely. It’s a common concern of the people who love Jaehwan. He’s never in one place for too long and the worry of being out of sight and out of mind is only natural in people like Wonshik, who tend to choose a place and settle down and look for stability.
“What’s stopping you from visiting him if you miss him so much?” Taekwoon asks. It’s a simple question and a direct mirror of the one Wonshik has asked Jaehwan in their last conversation.
Wonshik has no answer. He’s scared. What if Jaehwan simply said he missed him for the sake of saying it? What if Wonshik isn’t on the same page as Jaehwan? The intensity of his own feelings scares him and he doesn’t know how to phrase this convincingly to the man who travelled miles to see the man he loves.
The truth is, Wonshik is a coward who has never liked someone the way he likes Jaehwan or loved so devotedly.
The two are interrupted by Hongbin coming downstairs. “I’m not too late am I? We won’t miss the reservation?” Hongbin asks worriedly.
He’s dressed in his best light blue shirt and pants that Wonshik lent him and his hair is styled to keep the messy curls in place. Taekwoon’s eyes light up at the sight of his boyfriend and Wonshik believes he would react the same if Hongbin had dressed in rags. He feels happy and envious simultaneously.
“You look lovely and don’t worry we won’t” Taekwoon assures him.
“I’ll be late,” Hongbin tells Wonshik.
“You have the keys. I won’t wait up for you” Wonshik says as he waves the two lovebirds out of his café.
“Think about what I said” Taekwoon says to Wonshik as they leave. He puts his hand on Hongbin’s back and gently guides him through the crowd. Wonshik watches the two till they disappear from his line of sight and goes back to cleaning.
Taekwoon has left the book on the grand piano and Wonshik picks it up, reading the page bookmarked as he does.
“À vaillant coeur rien d’impossible (For a valiant heart nothing is impossible.)”
—
Wonshik feels mildly insane as he steps off the train. Berlin is much colder than Paris and there are dark clouds overhead. This is a bad omen, Wonshik thinks. He’s in Berlin and he has left Chiwoong in charge and Taekwoon and Hongbin are alone and he doesn’t even know if Jaehwan is still in Berlin or has decided to go back to Milan or to Amboise for Christmas.
He holds onto his phone like it is his lifeline. The messages from Taekwoon carrying Jaehwan’s current address are on it and he shows it to the taxi driver as he tries to explain where he wants to go in broken tourist-y German.
It’s a short drive to the apartment complex and Wonshik gets out, feeling even more anxious than when he got on. Does his hair looks alright? Is this ensemble okay? Should he have spent more time putting something together instead of throwing on whatever was not in the laundry basket? Jaehwan likes to dress well and here Wonshik is, in his warmest pair of jeans and hoodie, looking like a frumpy college kid.
He is momentarily distracted by the snowfall that starts. It is late evening and the sun has set, colouring the sky dark indigo. It’s a beautiful neighborhood Wonshik thinks as he find the building he is looking for. Hongbin texts him to ask if is in Berlin yet and if he has met Jaehwan and Wonshik replies in the negative. He’s in the building and almost on the floor he needs to be on but his nerves are getting to him.
He decides to bite the bullet and call Jaehwan when he finally manages to find the apartment. In retrospect, he should probably have called much earlier to find out if Jaehwan is at home or not. But it looks like today isn’t the day for wise decisions on his part.
”Wonshik? This is a surprise“ Jaehwan says as soon as he picks up.
"Yeah” Wonshik lies. “It’s Christmas Eve and I thought I should wish you in person.”
“Bless your soul. I just had the longest and most terrible day and just listening to your voice has already made me feel loads better” Jaehwan tells him. “You won’t believe what happened at the head office today!”
“Are you back home?” Wonshik asks as naturally as he can.
“Yeah, just came back a while ago. I was about to jump into the shower and then call you myself” Jaehwan replies happily.
“You don’t think you could let me in before you go take your shower? It’s really freezing in the hallway” Wonshik says. There is dead silence on the other end and rushed footsteps and the door in front of him opens to reveal Jaehwan, staring at him in pure disbelief.
“It really is you” Jaehwan says as he steps out into the hallway and hugs Wonshik.
“Surprise” Wonshik says, hugging Jaehwan back. All his previous worries melt away and he feels quite foolish for doubting his decision to visit.
“I don’t even… How did… What made you think about coming here?” Jaehwan asks, pulling him inside.
The apartment is warm and Wonshik feels his body relax. The windows in the living room are large and have the view of the street next to the complex, decorated with red and green lights. The night has set in properly and the lights look prettier. The street is covered in the falling snow, adding an outline of white to the fixtures on the street.
“I just thought it would be nice to visit you so I took the train here” Wonshik confesses.
“I see” Jaehwan says, turning a pretty shade of light pink. His eyes wrinkle as he smiles and he looks lovelier than Wonshik remembers.
“Also, I really missed you” Wonshik says. He’s travelled miles. What’s a few steps more towards the person he has come to love?
“I missed you too” Jaehwan says, putting his hand on Wonshik’s chest. He leans forward and places a chaste kiss on Wonshik’s lips.
He pulls away but Wonshik chases his lips with a kiss of his own. Before too long, Jaehwan’s hands are around Wonshik’s waist and Wonshik’s hands are in his hair and they are kissing deeply.
Jaehwan hoists him onto the back of the nearby couch and Wonshik wraps his legs around his and kisses him some more. This is a daydream Jaehwan never wants to wake from. Wonshik is real and warm and here and not far away from him.
“Merry Christmas” Wonshik adds when they pull away from each other and Jaehwan laughs. He lays his head on Wonshik’s shoulder and sighs. Wonshik thinks he might burst from the intense rush of love and protective feelings.
He manages to pull Jaehwan into a close hug and wonders how he will ever manage to part from him ever again.
In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.
“We know that in September, we will wander through the warm winds of summer’s wreckage. We will welcome summer’s ghost.”
— Henry Rollins
The morning after the storm is bright and golden. Sanghyuk wakes up when the sun is well above the horizon. The rattling of the windows in the storm has kept most of the manor’s occupants awake and he only manages to sleep once the storm passes, well into the night. He makes his way down the halls to the kitchen. The house is quiet, as if slumbering after the stormy night like its inhabitants are. All except one Sanghyuk discovers as he finds Hakyeon in the kitchen.
“Good morning” Hakyeon greets him and Sanghyuk greets him in response. His throat is constricted in the mornings and his voice sounds husky with sleep. He makes a beeline for the nearest chair and tries not to rub his eyes and fails.
“Did you sleep well?” Hakyeon asks, brewing tea and adding some extra water to the kettle for Sanghyuk. He slides onto a tall stool by the counter, sitting next to Sanghyuk who yawns sleepily when handed his mug. Hakyeon almost melts at how soft Sanghyuk looks right now with his hair mussed, eyes half closed and sweater pulled down to cover his fingers as he warms them on the mug with the hot tea. He stuffs the warmth in his chest deep down and tries not to let the sudden overwhelming amount of affection show.
“More or less,” Sanghyuk says before yawning again. Hakyeon smiles knowingly and Sanghyuk sighs, admitting to the truth.
“The storm was really loud yesterday,” Hakyeon says, staring out of the window. In the distance, Sanghyuk can see the garden filled with leaves and jumbled flower beds and feels terrible for Jaehwan who has been slaving away in the gardens since he came home.
“I hope the farm is better off” Hakyeon says, knocking on the table thrice. Sanghyuk’s family’s farm has many open fields and Hakyeon doesn’t believe flowers are as sturdy as some other crops grown around town. At least vineyards have wooden frames supporting the growing plants.
“Our fields and greenhouses are sturdy, don’t worry,” Sanghyuk says. The rain storms of Amboise are not new to his family and the farm has safeguards in place to protect the produce. The great storm during his great grandfather’s time had been a hard lesson with an entire year’s worth of crops lost.
“You know” Hakyeon starts and his smooth voice pulls Sanghyuk out of his reminiscing. “On a more peaceful day, it’s refreshing to sit outside in the garden in the mornings.”
Sanghyuk hums in agreement and Hakyeon wistfully stares outside. He turns to Sanghyuk who looks at him thoughtfully. He raises an eyebrow and Sanghyuk shakes his head. Sanghyuk sets his mug down, idly running his finger around the rim as he rests his head on his other hand.
“The rains will stop once September starts” Sanghyuk says. “And we’ll have a few days of sunlight in early fall before the cold creeps in.”
“That’s my favourite part of the year,” Hakyeon confesses. “When it is a pleasant temperature and there is still sunshine to warm you up.”
“We should go on a picnic then like we did last week. Or simply walk by the river. The trees along the banks turn orange and look beautiful” Sanghyuk proposes.
“I’d like that,” Hakyeon says, smiling brightly. “We should make a plan once everyone else wakes up. But I don’t know if Hongbin and Jaehwan are staying in Amboise that long.”
“Ah” Sanghyuk says, looking at his own mug. He doesn’t meet Hakyeon’s eyes. How could he have forgotten about Hongbin? Taekwoon and Jaehwan’s enigmatic guest who seems to have captured all of Hakyeon’s attention with his easy and friendly going charm. Jealousy is an ugly virtue but it hits Sanghyuk full swing.
“Hopefully the weather clears up before he has to leave” Sanghyuk says out loud without truly meaning it.
-
02
“Notice that autumn is more the season of the soul than of nature.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche
It’s Sunday and Sanghyuk chooses to stay behind at the farm. He intends on spending the day in bed, wallowing in self pity. Now that Hakyeon has company of someone he likes, it feels stupid to continue meeting him at the farmer’s market and giving him flowers.
In hindsight, it sounds like an absolutely stupid plan and Sanghyuk is embarrassed by his past self. Who would think that flowers are a good indication of affection in this day and age? For all he knows, Hakyeon probably thinks flowers aren’t even that significant to him since he grew up on the farm.
Sanghyuk rolls around on his bed and lets more mortifying scenarios pop up in his head. It’s acutely painful and Sanghyuk thinks romance is just not worth it and he should wash his hands off it before he does any more damage to his dignity.
His phone chimes when he receives a message from Jaehwan asking him where he is and why he isn’t at the market downtown. Sanghyuk racks his brains for a plausible excuse and settles for being needed to help his mother at the farm. The sunflowers need to be harvested and he really should lend her a helping hand and he resolves to do so once Jaehwan replies.
Perhaps he should have immediately left his phone behind because Jaehwan messages him to say that Hakyeon missed him and Sanghyuk almost cries in frustration at his own feelings.
-
“I know what you are doing, you know” Jaehwan says, using a clipper to snip at the thorns of the rose in his hand.
“What am I doing?” Sanghyuk asks, focusing on the task at hand instead of focusing on Jaehwan.
It’s the starting of September and these will be the last batches of roses to bloom on the farm. His father puts him to work on removing the thorns from the flowers before they can be sold to the town florists. It’s time consuming work but it is perfect to avoid your thoughts and Sanghyuk agrees to do it.
That is, till Jaehwan shows up.
Jaehwan is a persistent man (and a good friend for checking in on him). Sanghyuk doesn’t like to admit it but he has been moping ever since he returned from dinner at Taekwoon’s house. He doesn’t think he was that obvious but here Jaehwan is, sitting in his greenhouse and dethorning roses and looking at him knowingly.
Jaehwan’s scrutiny makes him feel foolish and silly and Sanghyuk decides not to look his way. Jaehwan isn’t deterred by this. Sanghyuk doesn’t hold a candle to the flame that is Taekwoon avoiding talking about feelings.
“You’re being foolish” he says plainly. The sky is blue, the wind is chilly today and Sanghyuk is being foolish. All three sentences can be expressed to the same effect in Jaehwan’s tone. Sanghyuk splutters and snips a leaf off by accident. The leaf falls to the ground, its existence mocking his lack of subtlety.
“You should be glad Hakyeon is here with you and not cities away, too busy or too tired to talk some days” Jaehwan says bitterly.
“I know…” Sanghyuk starts. He sympathizes with Jaehwan. He doesn’t know Wonshik but he must be a wonderful man to have Jaehwan so devoted to him even when there are miles between them. But he doesn’t have the assurances for his affection that Jaehwan has from Wonshik.
“I don’t think… I don’t think he likes me the same way I like him” Sanghyuk admits. The words hurt and he busies himself with sorting through the bundles of flowers and arranging them into neat bouquets.
“You couldn’t be further from the truth” Jaehwan scoffs. “Anyone with a functioning pair of eyes can tell Hakyeon likes you.”
“Maybe he used to but-” Sanghyuk cuts off. If Jaehwan doesn’t know about Hakyeon’s actual object of affection then it is not his place to tell him. To be honest the idea of Hakyeon liking him, even if it is once upon a time is quite incredulous.
“But?” Jaehwan prompts.
“Nothing” Sanghyuk lies. He sighs and lets his shoulders drop. It really is starting to get colder. Amboise doesn’t have cold winters but Sanghyuk wonders if this season just reflects the heartbreak he feels.
“Well, he likes you and you like him and you are being stupid by not asking him out when you can” Jaehwan says and Sanghyuk sighs.
-
Sanghyuk doesn’t plan on hiding forever. The town is small and he will eventually run into Hakyeon. If not at the farmer’s market then at the small movie theatre by 2nd Street that Hakyeon frequents whenever there is a new movie released or at the amphitheatre in the Town Square where the travelling troupe performs when they are in town. Hakyeon really loves plays and you can see his eyes lighting up when he watches performers deliver unrealistically dramatic lines.
Sanghyuk knows that running into Hakyeon is inevitable. But he doesn’t expect to run into him at the delicatessen because it is so far from the area Hakyeon lives in. (A part of Sanghyuk wonders if he pays too much attention to Hakyeon or if it is normal to know so much about a person after knowing them for so long.)
“Hi” Hakyeon says, as surprised as Sanghyuk feels.
“Hey” Sanghyuk says, pushing his hands into his pockets. Blunt ending to a long lasting crush or not, it still is a pleasure to see Hakyeon. It’s cold enough for him to start wearing thin sweaters and he smells of earthy spices and his favourite wood scented perfume.
“Haven’t seen you in a long time” Hakyeon says, paying for his order and putting the wrapped meats away in the basket he is carrying.
“End of summer harvests usually means a lot of work at the farm” Sanghyuk tells him. Hakyeon steps back to let him order but hangs close by, unwilling to end the serendipitous meeting first.
“Well, if you are free this Wednesday then we were thinking of a small wine tasting outing to the vineyards in Bordeaux. Nothing fancy” Hakyeon tells him.
“So no dressing up in suit and ties with Taekwoon quoting great dead French poets of the past?” Sanghyuk asks teasingly.
“I’m afraid not” Hakyeon laughs. “Hongbin is going back home by the Sunday train. We wanted to take him there before he goes there because he doesn’t know when he will return.”
“A shame” Sanghyuk says. His order is ready and he pays for it. This is a perfect cue to escape this conversation. Sanghyuk isn’t inclined to be the third wheel to a getaway where his crush can be stolen from him. But he makes the mistake to linger because he has missed Hakyeon too much to cut him off.
“Taekwoon and Jaehwan are clearly distraught. But what do you say? Would you like to come along?” Hakyeon asks hopefully.
Sanghyuk has never been able to say no to his doe like eyes.
-
03
“The violets in the mountains have broken the rocks.”
― Tennessee Williams
“I’m glad you decided to come along” Jaehwan says as Sanghyuk helps him load their luggage into the car trunk.
The trip is short and the company settles on using Jaehwan’s convertible for the trip. The amount of bags makes Sanghyuk question their decision but Jaehwan insists that his baby can make the trip and so he defers to his judgement.
“Are you going to go to Paris with Hongbin on Sunday?” Sanghyuk asks Jaehwan.
“No. But I am leaving on Sunday too. I am going to Manchester to meet my father. Business stuff” Jaehwan says. Sanghyuk doesn’t know what exactly Jaehwan does but he knows his father works in the fast fashion business and assumes it must be something related to that.
“How long are you traveling for this time?” Sanghyuk asks, making idle conversation while they wait for others to show up.
“A few months. I think I’ll be back in spring next” Jaehwan says, counting and estimating in his head.
“On the plus side, you will be with your family for Christmas,” Sanghyuk points out. Jaehwan smiles and Sanghyuk is glad. He thinks he will miss Jaehwan and finds that he genuinely means it.
“Can’t say that will be a blessing. I guess it’s time to go” Jaehwan says, watching as Hakyeon and Hongbin emerge from the house followed by Taekwoon who locks the door behind him. The two laugh at something while Taekwoon indignantly protests. Hakyeon puts his hand around Hongbin’s waist and Sanghyuk looks away wondering if he has made a mistake agreeing to this outing.
-
“I don’t know why we travelled all the way to Bordeaux when we live right next to Loire Valley” Sanghyuk confesses as they unpack their luggage in the shared room. The group stops at a motel for the night. The two cities are not far by road but no one wants to drive for hours after a long day and in the middle of the night.
“We travelled because Taekwoon believes Bordeaux red wines are the best when clearly Samour sparkling wines are superior but then Taekwoon just said I had cheap taste buds” Jaehwan scoffed. He flopped around on his side of the bed before pouting and burying his head in the pillows.
“So you basically agreed to travel here to prove a point to Taekwoon” Sanghyuk says, amused at the elder’s antics.
“Would have snuck in a bottle of bubbly too if it wasn’t ‘in bad taste’ and ‘not allowed Jaehwan’” Jaehwan says, imitating Taekwoon’s disapproving voice and adding air quotes for emphasis. Sanghyuk laughs and Jaehwan continues his impressions, happy that he has an audience in a person who isn’t clearly protective of his brother.
Their reverie is interrupted when Jaehwan gets a call from Wonshik and Hakyeon steps out of the shower, announcing it is free for whoever wants to use it next. Jaehwan steps out into the balcony to answer it and Sanghyuk looks to Hakyeon who simply has a towel wrapped around his waist. His features are softer than what Sanghyuk imagined and Sanghyuk commits those lines and curves to memory.
“You’ll catch a cold like that” he says when Hakyeon catches him staring. Hakyeon blushes and pulls a t-shirt over his head. Sanghyuk looks away and gives him the privacy to get dressed. His cheeks have a matching flustered shade of pink and he focuses on picking at the frills of the pillow instead of looking at Hakyeon.
The bed dips and Hakyeon sits next to him. The two of them look at the balcony where they can see Jaehwan smiling as he talks, parts of his conversation reaching them through the open window and the dusk frames his visage. The sky visible above the neighbouring buildings is already blue. The sun is setting and Sanghyuk feels the night wash over. Next to him, Hakyeon is warm and smells of berry scented shampoo. Their shoulders brush and knees touch. Hakyeon doesn’t move away so Sanghyuk stays too.
“We have some time before the wine tasting” Hakyeon says.
“We do” Sanghyuk agrees.
Hakyeon puts his head down on Sanghyuk’s shoulder and the younger tenses up. “Wake me up when we need to leave” he says, closing his eyes and resting against Sanghyuk. His frame is sturdy and his body is all muscle and broad shoulders after working on the farm for years. It feels warm and safe. Hakyeon’s own skin is cooler after the shower and the contrast feels pleasant.
“Okay” Sanghyuk agrees. Hakeon feels him relax and hunch a bit so he can rest properly. He puts an arm around Hakyeon and Hakyeon places a hand on his thigh and slowly falls asleep the way blooming flowers close at the end of day.
-
04
“Autumn leaves don’t fall, they fly. They take their time and wander on this their only chance to soar.”
- Delia Owens
As predicted, Taekwoon and Jaehwan argue the moment the sommelier withdraws after pouring the first round of wines. Hakyeon shushes them to get them to behave the two huff petulantly. Hongbin looks at Sanghyuk and the two try not to laugh too hard. Taekwoon and Jaehwan restrain themselves till the third wine is served and then break into barbs and jibes at the other’s taste with no hope of reconciliations any moment in the near future.
“Are they always like this?” Sanghyuk asks Hongbin as Hakyeon sighs and drags them away from the high table to a more peaceful corner where they won’t disturb their fellow diners.
“Hakyeon tells me that Taekwoon is only this lively around Jaehwan. I am inclined to believe him” Hongbin says.
“You and Hakyeon seem close,” Sanghyuk casually comments. He shouldn’t be petty but he is and slightly jealous too. But Hongbin doesn’t notice the bite in his voice.
“Hakyeon is like an older brother to me now. We get along better than I thought we would but Hakyeon is just so friendly you know?” Hongbin tells him.
“A brother?” Sanghyuk asks in surprise.
“Trust me, I was surprised too” Hongbin agrees. “I don’t make friends this easily. But then again I don’t normally travel to far away towns with people I have only known for a few days or fall in love with someone I just met.”
“In love… with someone you just met? Taekwoon?” Sanghyuk asks, multiple pieces of the puzzle clicking into place together in his head.
This explains the odd glances and the way Hongbin and Taekwoon always gravitate to each other when Taekwoon is normally so reserved. All of a sudden, Sanghyuk feels foolish for not knowing this sooner because it has always been in front of him as plain as day.
“Yeah” Hongbin confirms, glancing over at his lover who stands to the side with his hands folded and glaring at Hakyeon and Jaehwan who are in a deep discussion about something else. Hongbin walks over and rescues Taekwoon from the conversation that will have no end and Taekwoon puts his hand around Hongbin. Sanghyuk feels very silly indeed.
“Between the two of them, I am going to age faster than I should” Hakyeon says when he comes over to talk to Sanghyuk. “I swear I have a few grey hairs already.”
“I think they would suit you” Sanghyuk says. The realization that Hakyeon does not like Hongbin because Hongbin likes Taekwoon gives him a rush of bravery that no wine can. The merlot is potent but the intoxication of affection is deadlier.
“Grey hairs?” Hakyeon asks, amused at Sanghyuk’s declaration.
“I think you’d still be pretty after aging for many years” Sanghyuk tells him.
The sincerity of the statement makes Hakyeon blush. He seems to be doing that a lot around him. Crush or no crush, Hakyeon thinks Sanghyuk will be terrible for him. The indulgence and affection will spoil him beyond measure. If only Hakyeon has the courage to reach for what he wants.
“Ah well, it’s only till Sunday I guess. Then it will just be me and Taekwoon again” Hakyeon says ruefully.
“I’ll miss both of them” Sanghyuk says. This time he means it genuinely. Hakyeon hums in agreement and the two of them sip on their wine in a companionable silence.
“If you ever feel alone at the manor, you can come down to the farm sometimes. There’s always people working on something or the other and the sights from the fields are pretty” Sanghyuk offers. “Jaehwan comes over all the time now. We always have room for one more if you want company.”
-
Sanghyuk sees Hakyeon next in October, two weeks after their trip to Bordeaux. The homogeneously green trees give way to a mix of brown, orange, yellow and green and the summer rains give way to clear blue skies where the white clouds float, content to just exist and drift.
Sanghyuk waits for Hakyeon, this time carrying a bouquet of roses. It’s a surprise batch of late bloomers and his mother allows him to take a few. It’s too cold for roses but the sun shines bright on some days and the flowers thrive and Sanghyuk thinks that this is reflective of his own feelings for Hakyeon. He’ll never verbally admit to Hakyeon, but he can’t think of any alternative except to give them to him.
“You have roses!” Hakyeon exclaims in happiness when he walks up to Sanghyuk. His arms are full with his purchases and Sanghyuk takes a few bags from him so he can hold the flowers.
“Late bloomers” Sanghyuk tells him by way of an explanation.
“Still very pretty” Hakyeon says. The roses aren’t red and this isn’t a tacky love confession but he finds the light pink colour pretty and any gift from Sanghyuk is a gift he will treasure.
The two walk down to the parking lot and Sanghyuk helps Hakyeon put things away. Hakyeon holds onto the flowers, insisting that they are too pretty to part with. Sanghyuk loiters and they make idle talk about the weather and the townsfolk they know and how the winter this year seems colder than the previous year. When they run out of topics to talk about, they talk about more trivial things till Sanghyuk looks at his watch and realizes he must go back to help his family.
“I also have tickets to a play by the travelling troupe you love” Sanghyuk says, shuffling his feet like an awkward child. “If you’d like to go with me.”
“I don’t think I would like anything more” Hakyeon declares. He smiles and Sanghyuk thinks he looks prettier than the flowers he is holding. In fact, Hakyeon’s smile might be the prettiest thing in the universe. A sign of the spring of the heart in the midst of the somber autumn all around that seems to gain colour as the old leaves softly drift through the wind.
Summary - Seokjin knows he won’t have Jaehwan for long. The illusion of their love is a false reflection in the fading wisps of feelings they once harboured for each other.
“I was wondering when you would notice it and ask me to stop”
“I don’t think asking would have actually made you stop.”
“I guess not”
-
When Jaehwan returns, he apologises to Seokjin.
Jaehwan apologises but makes no excuses. It’s part of what Seokjin likes about Jaehwan. He has no lies or cover ups or excuses. He comes down to the fancy apartment they share in the ‘right side’ of town after disappearing for days and tells him he is sorry.
He doesn’t tell Seokjin what he is sorry for and Seokjin doesn’t ask because there are things he should be sorry for and he doesn’t tell Jaehwan about them either.
Instead they kiss. It’s easier to be lost in the way Jaehwan’s lips on his skin give him goosebumps and how the warmth of someone else feels just right when he has been deprived for so long. Sex doesn’t require thinking. Sex doesn’t even require feelings if you are doing it right.
And so he kisses Jaehwan back and let’s the thoughts in his head be drowned out behind white noise.
-
Seokjin grows up in a house in the posh suburbs to the east of the city. He grows up in a small two storeyed house with a flower bed in the front yard and a white picket fence all around. He even had a sugar glider briefly but he forgets the name.
His life changes drastically when his father decides to run for the local government body. Suddenly his family is thrust into the limelight and his father’s PR team decides to use the opportunity to broadcast how virtuous and well behaved they are.
His mother and brother fare better under the scrutiny. His mother is traditional and believes in supporting her husband and hence has no problem playing the part of the loving partner. His brother is ambitious. He studies business in a prestigious business school and starts his own business, riding on his father’s fame. He humbly attributes his success to the values his parents instilled in him at any public event and even marries the daughter of their father’s biggest sponsor for campaigns.
Seokjin does what any sensible young adult would when faced with life changing events out of their control.
Seokjinrebels.
He goes to the local art college to study filmmaking. Despite his gorgeous face, he becomes an assistant director with a non-profit organization that works to raise awareness about issues plaguing modern society through films. And as the last nail in the proverbial coffin of his good boy image, he starts to date Lee Jaehwan. A good for nothing who brings no addition to their family’s social status, his grandmother announces over a family dinner and Seokjin kisses Jaehwan in front of everyone to “console him”.
-
“Try not to give someone an aneurysm” Hoseok pleads, adjusting Seokjin’s wonky bow tie.
“I make no promises,” Seokjin says with a devilish smile.
“Okay. I’ll treat you to coffee for a month if you can wait till after the auction has concluded before offending someone with a witty remark” Hoseok says.
“Of course I am not gay, I am merely waiting for the right girl to make an honest man out of me. Of course my parents are doing well, I called them just the other day. Yes my brother’s business is doing great, I am very proud. If only I was more like him” Seokjin says in a shrill voice and Hoseok gives up on any hopes he has.
Seokjin follows his friend who navigates through the crowd and talks to the crowd attending the art exhibition he has curated. It has the most ostentatious, the creme de la creme of society in attendance and Hoseok has high hopes to earn the profits he needs to keep the museum running tonight. And Seokjin is many things but not a bad friend so he sticks to the flutes of champagne supplied helpfully by the servers and makes a polite comment here and there but says nothing more.
“Isn’t she a beauty?” Hoseok asks, when he finds Seokjin looking at one of the modern art pieces on display. It’s a realist painting of a diner in a small town. The diner has large glass panels that lets the onlooker see inside and note the people sitting down by it and a waiter serving them from behind the counter.
“What’s the story behind this?” Seokjin asks. The diner is dreary to look at and inspires no strong emotions but that is how real life is. Nothing interesting ever happens and Seokjin can hardly blame the artist for depicting the truth of the world. It’s also surprisingly devoid of people and meaningful interaction, like it is an image of a lonely time, sliced out of the flow of time and captured on canvas. It’s how most of his nights look now but Seokjin quickly squashes the depressing reminder.
“Nighthawks by Edward Hopper. A classic modern art piece” Hoseok tells him. “It’s supposed to be a comment about loneliness in the urban lifestyle of the 1940s America.”
“Still holds,” Seokjin says, taking a sip of his champagne. His cheeks burn with warmth but he ignores it.
“Is it already bid for?”
“Not very high if you’re thinking about buying it. Everyone is going for the more well known modern art pieces or the fancier classics” Hoseok says. Seokjin takes a cheque book out of his jacket. He didn’t intend on using it tonight but life has never gone the way he intended it at any time.
-
“What do you think?” Seokjin asks once the crew from the museum installs the painting in the living room and leaves.
Jaehwan looks at the painting and says nothing. Seokjin knows he hates it. But it is magnanimous of him not to voice it immediately. The painting has grown on Seokjin and he can’t bring himself to regret the small fortune he has spent on it.
“I like it” Seokjin responds when Jaehwan doesn’t. He reaches out and adjusts the painting so that it is perfectly parallel to the edges of the wall.
“Why this specific painting?” Jaehwan asks.
“I liked the irony of a social place being used to depict loneliness. It spoke to me spiritually” Seokjin says. He goes on to add the analysis of the painting that Hoseok gave him about loneliness and despair and how the want of company and comfort is a thing that hasn’t changed over decades and continents.
“You could add a funky neon sign with a few letters blinking or not lit up and it would be any themed diner here in South Korea” Seokjin jokes before admiring the way the painting looks on the light cream coloured walls of the apartment.
Jaehwan stares at the painting and never looks at it again for the remainder of the night.
-
Things almost go back to normal but they really don’t.
Jaehwan takes Seokjin on pretty dates to pretty places during the day and whispers dirty things into his ear as he kisses him at night. It’s almost like the days he disappeared and the fights they had didn’t exist.
But he also dazes out in the middle and never really pays attention to whatever Seokjin is talking about. He hums and responds at all the right places in a conversation but never really means any of it. Jaehwan also takes to his old habit of smoking in the balcony after every night they spend together. It’s like whatever happened in those days has changed everything between them.
Seokjin knows that the ground beneath his feet has shifted. He’s no stranger to that feeling of the world changing overnight. Only this time, it happens so quietly that Seokjin really doesn’t know how to deal with it.
How do you hold onto smoke that lies within your reach but cannot be held? It only shifts out of his grasp, just far enough to never truly be held and just near enough to suffocate him slowly.
-
“I have news for you” Jaehwan says, looking at Seokjin. “Taehyung liked the manuscript I sent in. He’s suggested minor changes and decided to forward it to Namjoon. If Namjoon likes it, I will get a publishing deal.”
“That’s amazing,” Seokjin says and finds that he really means it. “I didn’t even know you were planning on sending it in.”
Jaehwan and Taehyung have an awkward history. Taehyung is a book critic and editor for Namjoon’s publishing house and someone very familiar with Jaehwan’s writing from his newspaper columnist days. Taehyung always claims to have fallen in love with Jaehwan’s writing way back then. But Seokjin knows that Jaehwan wants nothing to do with his old life and so he usually diverts Taehyung’s attention away from it.
“It’s nerve wrecking as fuck. I hope this becomes popular as hell so I never have to write ever again” Jaehwan swears. Seokjin laughs.
“Let’s open up a new wine bottle. Yoongi recommended this new brand of red wine that I got a bottle of and you can tell me what your new book is about” Seokjin says. It’s a little too early to celebrate anything but a little cheer will be good for them.
“It’s just a story about… people. Places and things. Nothing and everything” Jaehwan says vaguely as he gestures to the air around him.
“What a thrilling description. I’ll ask Namjoon to put it on the book cover” Seokjin says wryly. For the first time in a very long time, Jaehwan laughs and Seokjin laughs with him.
-
What Seokjin does ask of Namjoon is a copy of the finalized manuscript that is approved for printing.
Namjoon loves the book and gives it a raving review. The publishing deal is finalized quickly because Taehyung does not want to give Jaehwan the chance to change his mind. Before Seokjin knows it, a thick bundle of papers tied together with a large gaudy paper clip and sealed in tacky brown packaging arrives at his doorstep.
Seokjin keeps the manuscript a secret. He wants to let Jaehwan offer a signed personal copy for keepsake. But he is also a curious soul and this trait always gets the best of him.
Jaehwan is out for the night. (He is always out for some reason or the other.) So Seokjin pours himself a glass of cheap store bought red wine and puts the manuscript on his lap and begins to read.
It’s a story of a lost man. A man who feels lost even though he is loved by all and a man who doesn’t know himself though everyone around him is quick to label their relationship with him and by extension to label him. The protagonist spends half the novel wandering and pitying himself till he meets someone and falls in love. It’s a forbidden sort of love and sucks both men in till their feelings overwhelm them. The protagonist leaves by the end because the protagonist always does but he leaves his heart in the tiny dingy motel they met in and even that admission is a guilty confession to the wide vacuum of an uncaring world and not to the object of his affection.
Seokjin reads through the manuscript in one setting. Jaehwan is just that good with his words and Seokjin knows this is a rare glimpse into his mind that no one else is afforded just yet. Jaehwan will make it big. No wonder Taehyung is anxious to have the deal under his publishing house. Jaehwan writes about true love and heartbreak in a magnificent way that anyone can understand but can only hope to experience in their lifetime. At once the grandeur of heartbreak is within your grasp and just out of your reach.
When he finishes the manuscript, he looks at the painting hanging in the gallery and understands Jaehwan’s surprise. He rereads the last confession and understands Jaehwan’s disdain too.
-
“I don’t have excuses” Jaehwan says, when Seokjin finds him smoking on their bedroom’s balcony.
“You never do” Seokjin says, sitting down next to him.
“I’m a shit liar for a writer” Jaehwan admits. Seokjin scoffs and rubs his nose. He is resigned to the situation but he doesn’t find the smell pleasant. Nothing will endear him to smoking, he thinks. Not even the oncoming heartbreak.
“You’re much better than you think you are” Seokjin says. Jaehwan gives him a searching look. How much does Seokjin already know, Jaehwan wonders. The painting from the living room is gone and Jaehwan has seen the copy of his book on Seokjin’s nightstand.
“How much did you read?” he ventures to ask. Some band-aids are better ripped off as soon as the wound stops bleeding.
“All of it” Seokjin replies honestly.
“I didn’t mean to break your heart” Jaehwan tells him.
“You don’t get to decide what hurts me and what doesn’t” Seokjin says sharply. He doesn’t like the way Jaehwan genuinely sounds apologetic and guilty. He hates how it isn’t motivated by love and merely by concern over a relationship that should have died much earlier.
“Why did you come back if you thought you really loved the one you left behind?” Seokjin asks.
“Because that ending is… a white lie. A romantic ending to make the book sellable. I didn’t fall in love when I was at the motel. I didn’t fall in love with someone else” Jaehwan explains.
“You only fell out of love with me” Seokjin summarizes breezily. Jaehwan draws a deep breath of his cigarette and turns away to let the smoke out. This hurts more than Seokjin thought it would.
The two men sit in the balcony and avoid looking at each other. The air between them is thick with tension, stuffy from the remains of what once was and will never be again.
Seokjin watches the tendrils of smoke rise from the last of Jaehwan’s cigarette through its reflection in the window glass. The ember glows till it dims and fades out, leaving only smoke in its wake.
He wonders if the disappearance of the carbon means he can pretend that the smoke never existed once sufficient time has passed. Or if the smell will taint his memories forever like heartbreak threatens to taint the rose hued past blue. He wonders if he can lean forward and catch the smoke as it twists in and out of the air current to rise up and disappear into nothingness. He wonders if the smoke was always meant to escape and if the paper was always meant to burn to give it the freedom it so runs after.
In the end, all the smoke does is suffocate him and make his eyes water.
Hakyeon breathes. The sound of the applause is deafening but Hakyeon already has it blocked out the moment he skates into the rink. This is it. The Olympics. It is his last chance to get a score that can make it or break it. He has a lead from the short program but he can’t afford to fuck up and let it slip away.
He skates around the rink once, acknowledging his crowd and the judging panel with practiced ease.
He stands, raising his hands above his head to form a teardrop like shape. Three, two, one.
The music starts and he glides across the ice.
-
“Look Yeonnie! You are skating!” Wonshik yelled in delight.
“I’m skating!” Hakyeon exclaimed. The two three year olds giggled as they haphazardly moved on the ice, breaking in the new rink that Wonshik’s father had bought.
-
A triple lutz and a triple toe loop. Hakyeon nearly over-rotated there but he doesn’t. The execution is perfect and the technical score for the execution of this element is in the bag. Three more elements to go.
Hakyeon lunges into the next formation. The routine is three eighths of the way through.
Up next is a quadruple toe loop. The toe loop moves into a backward step that forms an eight across the rink and concludes in a salchow. Hakyeon smiles, trying to match the rising tempo of the song and emotes the determination the melody means to convey harmonically. He moves to the rhythm in a practiced manner. He has executed this routine nearly a thousand times now.
The axel concludes in a Biellman spin, his body forming a teardrop as the music crescendos in its climax and finally drops with Hakyeon spreading out and stopping in his ending poses, trying to control his heavy breathing long enough to not collapse.
The crowd breaks into a roar, applauding what is surely the best performance they have seen today.
All of it rings hollow to Hakyeon.
-
“I never want to skate again!” Hakyeon yells. Or tries to as the tears forming in his eyes lead to his throat choking on his own sobbing. Hakyeon falls over on a particularly tricky spot of ice on the rink and deduces that never skating is the best way to never risk injury again. Specifically when it hurts so bad and feels so cold.
“You’re fine you big cry baby” his sister tells him. Joohyun is five years older than Hakyeon but feels much older and more mean. “Falling is how you learn.”
Hakyeon shakes his head furiously, with all the stubbornness a six year old can muster when she offers her hand to help him.
“Suit yourself buddy” Joohyun says as she gives up and pretends to skate away.
Hakyeon is suddenly seized by a panic. Joohyun won’t leave him here right? The fear heightens when Joohyun disappears behind a group of teenage girls skating and is nowhere to be seen.
Hakyeon struggles but lifts himself up. He wipes his tears because they only cloud his vision and do not help in his search. He looks around frantically till he spots a familiar red wooden scarf flying around the rink and pushes forward, determined to chase it.
Joohyun spots him but sticks her tongue out at him and simply skates ahead. Hakyeon cries indignantly and follows, speeding up to catch up to her. She taunts him but slows her pace down and Hakyeon finally catches her by holding onto her coat.
“Was that so bad?” Joohyun asks when she puts her arm around her clingy brother. Hakyeon nods and she laughs.
“But you came so far all on your own. Skating was never your problem Hakyeon.”
-
Hakyeon wonders if he would be here today if not for Joohyun’s words twenty years ago. He stands in the kiss and cry and does his most mature expression of grace and modesty as he scores a high mark for his program, guaranteeing him a gold with the lead obtained.
His first Olympic gold. After years of dreaming about this moment, it’s finally here. Hakyeon modestly thinks he is getting ahead of himself but the numbers on the board don’t lie. The gap between him and the defending champion has him in the lead and he is the second last to perform.
He spots Joohyun and Wonshik in the crowd, cheering for him and his eyes well up just a little. He wouldn’t be here without them today. He couldn’t have made it this far without the support of his loved ones and the sacrifices they made to help him achieve his dream.
A small nagging in his head wonders if he would rather be here at all.
-
Hakyeon’s mother smothers him in kisses and his father proudly brags when Hakyeon humbly hands him his gold medal. Their family has a gold medalist now. The nation’s pride. He’ll be telling this story for generations to come.
There is a mini crowd gathered around Joohyun who regales everyones with tales about the setup for the games and the sights she has seen. She’s lucky to have a kind brother who would drag her along and show her the wonders of the world. Of course the jet lag between time zones is horrible but the memories are worth everything.
Hakyeon poses for pictures with the neighbourhood kids. Everyone wants the memory of meeting a celebrity who lives near them. Wonshik is the one who comes to his rescue and shoos everyone away, claiming Hakyeon must rest after his long travel so he can stay in top form. Everyone agrees instantaneously. A model athlete must take care of themselves and stick to their routine, of course.
Hakyeon bows out and retreats to his room to take a shower and lie down. The press will circle in like vultures tomorrow morning but he has today for himself. He goes through his phone and sends perfunctory thank yous to congratulatory messages, clears out notifications from different social media apps and closes his eyes.
He normally dreams of his routines, practicing even in his sleep. Tonight, he dreams of an empty ice rink and his first ever pair of competition skates. He weighs them in his hand and sighs.
The echo of that sigh remains in his bones when he wakes up the next morning.
-
“What do you want to do now?” Joongki, his coach asks as he blows on his instant noodles to cool it down.
“Think of a new routine for the next season, I suppose” Hakyeon replies as he pushes the cherry tomatoes in his salad around.
The preparation of a new routine is a tedious process. Years of experience make translating the ideas in his head to steps on the ice easier but he is never satisfied till it is perfect before demo-ing to Joongki. But getting a vision of what the new routine should look like is hard at the moment. Nothing seems to coherently meld together in a way that satisfies the perfectionist in him.
Joongki laughs and pats Hakyeon’s head. “Always a workaholic. You don’t have to start preparing for the next season right away. You deserve a break. You’ve just won an Olympic medal my son!”
Hakyeon smiles sheepishly as Joongki launches into a list of ideas for what Hakyeon can do in his free time. He has ideas for overnight trips and retreats to week long holidays in foreign locations that would be cost effective at the moment. (“I might even let you go for a month you know! You’ve earned it!!”)
Joongki only stops when Sanghyuk, the owner of the small noodle shop they are currently seated in, stops by to congratulate Hakyeon and declare that their lunch is on the house today. It’s not every day that an Olympic gold medallist eats at his humble establishment, Sanghyuk declares dramatically. Joongki laughs and orders another round of the fried chicken to celebrate.
Hakyeon turns to the window and lets his mind drift as he watches the last of the brown leaves on the ginkgo tree fall. There’s still some time to spring, he thinks idly. How patient must the trees be to wait winters year upon year to bloom once again.
-
Hakyeon takes to walking at night. It’s the only time the town is peaceful and no one disturbs him. The night breeze is pleasant now that the cold is letting up and he doesn’t need more than a scarf and a long coat to stay warm.
He takes the familiar route from his home to his gym and then to the ice rink at the far end of the block. He passes by the neighbourhood they used to live in before Hakyeon took up competitive skating. His parents decided to move to their current home because it was close to the rink and affordable. Hakyeon doesn’t have many memories of this place since he was very young then but it still feels homely.
The small neighbourhood slopes uphill to a small cluster of private villas owned by a resort. The main rad is free for vehicles and people to move through. He walks till he reaches the sunset viewing deck on top of the hill. The viewing deck has a beautiful overview of the small town and Hakyeon has a habit of coming here to hide and simply breathe whenever he feels overwhelmed by the pressure of competition.
It’s ironic that he ends up here again when he should be feeling euphoric and on top of the world.
The stars look brighter and clearer here than they did back in the Olympic village. Hakyeon sits down on a bench and counts the stars in the sky. He no longer remembers the constellations his father taught him to identify and using an app just doesn’t have the same feeling.
Hakyeon takes a picture of the view for his instagram. He captions it with the date. He likes to keep his captions simple and short. He uploads it and switches off the notifications of likes and comments rolling in.
-
“If it isn’t the local celebrity” Jaehwan says as he notices Hakyeon. He stands up from the splits he’s attempting and envelopes Hakyeon in a hug. Jaehwan’s students aren’t here and Hakyeon is grateful for the privacy. He has had his fill of awestruck glances for a lifetime.
“How have you been Jaehwannie?” Hakyeon asks. He’s normally formal with everyone but Jaehwan’s very being inspires cute addresses.
“The same as when you last saw me” Jaehwan says with a shrug.
“So no progress on asking Sanghyuk out then?” Hakyeon asks, sitting down and doing his own stretches. Jaehwan sputters and indignantly protests as he sits down next to Hakyeon and goes back to stretching. (“I don’t know what gave you such a ridiculous idea”). Hakyeon laughs at Jaehwan who threatens to hit him with the nearest stage prop and bears his threats as graciously as possible before collapsing into fits of giggles and falling to the floor. Jaehwan takes the opportunity to wrestle him down completely and the two rough house for a bit before Jaehwan gives up and pulls away.
“Why are you here today? I would have tidied up a bit if I had known you were coming” Jaehwan says when both of them have taken a moment to calm down. Hakyeon simply hums in response.
“I was taking a walk and thought I would drop in to trouble you” he says mischievously.
“You are never a bother” Jaehwan says sincerely. “I thought you would be practicing right now though. You never seemed to do anything other than practice.”
“I wonder if that is a good thing or a bad thing,” Hakyeon says. He pretends not to notice Jaehwan’s gaze on him. Jaehwan is intuitive like that. He picks up on whatever Hakyeon doesn’t say even before Hakyeon realizes what he isn’t saying. But if he doesn’t look, he can pretend to hide his melancholy forever.
-
“It’s good to see you here” Taekwoon says when Hakyeon comes to stand next to him.
The national sports organization organizes a free program in Seoul to celebrate the performance of their athletes in the winter olympics. Hakyeon receives the first press invite as the gold medallist and current champion. Taekwoon receives it too as the current silver medallist but three time gold champion before Hakyeon.
This is the first time in three weeks that the two of them have had the time to talk since the competition ended. It’s only when Hakyeon sneaks away to the empty auditorium after the program is over that he finds Taekwoon and decides to say hello instead of leaving. Taekwoon is a man of few words and Hakyeon appreciates that since his socialisation battery is running low.
“It’s nice to be here” Hakyeon replies, leaning against the wall enclosing the ice. Taekwoon hums and the two of them watch the empty ice without saying much.
“You live in a pretty neighbourhood” Taekwoon says and the statement surprises Hakyeon. “I saw your instagram” he adds by way of an explanation.
“Didn’t take you to be a social media stalker Mr Jung” Hakyeon says playfully.
“I am stalking your cute friend. Please set us up” Taekwoon deadpans and Hakyeon laughs.
“Wonshik likes someone” Hakyeon confides in him. “I’m afraid I can’t set you up with him.”
“He’s not the one I had in mind” Taekwoon says with a shrug and Hakyeon is surprised by the admission. Surely Taekwoon has been joking with him.
“Have you started working on your new program yet?” Taekwoon asks, switching gears mid conversation.
“I'm… thinking about it” Hakyeon admits.
“Just thinking?” Taekwoon hums and leans back. He looks at Hakyeon with an incredulous face. This is Cha Hakyeon who always has too many ideas to try and too many elements to practice.
“I have a few ideas. Nothing has clicked into place yet.” Hakyeon confesses.
“You don’t have much time to modify it if you want to practice it to death like you always do” Taekwoon says. He hits the nail spot on and Hakyeon does not appreciate his thoughts being deciphered accurately.
“I know that” he snaps, unable to hide his irritation. Why did he think this was a good idea again?
“I’ll beat you again next time. Last month was a one time fluke Cha” Taekwoon tells him.
“It was not!” Hakyeon argues. He is aghast at Taekwoon’s brashness and not so charmed by the roguish grin as Taekwoon expects him to be.
“Continue thinking about your routine” Taekwoon says, with a smile on his lips like a cat toying with its food.
“And here I thought that I liked you for a second” Hakyeon huffs out loud.
“I thought you worshipped me. I guess we were both wrong” Taekwoon says cheekily.
Hakyeon almost leans over and hits him on his shoulder. Taekwoon leans out of reach just in time and Hakyeon flounders. His competitive side flares up and he leans and leans forward till he finally manages to hit Taekwoon on his chest and the two men devolve into laughter.
Taekwoon readjusts himself before he can fall down and Hakyeon graciously does not hit him when he is low.
“I think I know why you still haven’t started on your routine,” Taekwoon tells him.
“I have started on it!” Hakyeon protests.
“Oh yeah, go ahead and show me what you have then” Taekwoon says. He points to the empty rink to emphasize his point and Hakyeon sighs deeper than he intended on.
“You’re not very happy with your victory” Taekwoon speaks the words he is too afraid to say.
“That… would be a very thankless thing to feel” Hakyeon says, drawing little circles on the floor with his feet. He doesn’t look at Taekwoon. Taekwoon always seems to know and he doesn’t need Hakyeon’s confirmation for the truth.
“Not at all. It would be just as natural as elation” Taekwoon assures him.
“What do you do when you feel like that?” Hakyeon asks him.
“Nothing. I admit how I feel and live with it. I look at why I feel sad and correct it or look for things to make me happy. Sometimes it is people, but mostly it is good food.”
“What if you feel nothing?”
“A break from emotions is not a bad thing” Taekwoon says gently.
“It’s not a break but more of… lack of knowing what to feel”
“You sound like you’ve burnt out” Taekwoon concludes. Something hasn’t been feeling right with his long time rival. Hakyeon usually blazes like the sun in whatever room he is in but now his fire is dim. Like the stars in the sky have taken a break and disappeared to a depth in space where human eyes cannot see.
“Can I afford to burn out?”
“No one can” Taekwoon says bluntly. Hakyeon winces but Taekwoon knows that he will appreciate his honesty more than sweet white lies. “Doesn’t mean that we don’t from time to time.”
“What do you do when you feel burnt out?” Hakyeon asks.
“It depends on person to person but I go looking for inspiration. I set my skates on ice once upon a time for a reason, I go look for it again” Taekwoon tells him. “Sometimes I find it, sometimes I find a new reason to go on.”
“But you always find a reason to continue?” Hakyeon asks. Taekwoon nods and Hakyeon feels hopeful in a way he hasn’t in some time. It’s okay. The way he feels is okay and he will find a way out of it. He isn’t alone.
-
When Hakyeon comes back home, he treks across the neighbourhood again. His mother yells at him to eat before he goes and he replies that he will whenever he returns and asks her not to wait up. He’s just going to Wonshik’s place, he lies and then sets off up the road and to the hill he visits.
It’s a clear and bright night and Hakyeon plugs in his ipod and listens to old playlists he hasn’t in a while. He passes by the large rink and then the convenience store and gym. He waves at a busy Sanghyuk in his restaurant as he jogs by and passes the markets and goes up the hill to the smaller villas where the lights are being switched on and the neighbours are walking their dogs. One or two yip at him and he waves in response before bowing to the pet owner and jogging by.
Unlike last time, he knows where he is headed to. Hakyeon starts to huff but doesn’t give up till he reaches the top and the sunset point rewards him with a view of the lit up city skyline. Hakyeon takes a deep breath and lies down on his back to look up at the sky. It’s a dull orange and purple with only the strong stars shining bright through the atmospheric scattering of light.
Hakyeon lies there till his breathing steadies. He feels the hours passing and knows he is well past the deadline his parents insist on but he doesn’t care. He watches the clouds drift, reflecting the city lights till there are none in the sky. The moon is a crescent and the stars twinkle and he can make out faint meteors moving across the sky. The stars are falling but it isn’t the end of the sky. Tomorrow the stars will be there again and the night after that and the night after that too.
He just has to do the same. Tomorrow he will get up and text Jaehwan to look over some new routine ideas. He’ll run the theme by Joongki before finalizing on the piece and he will simply not rest till he has the next perfect piece that will defeat Taekwoon and have his rival approving of his skills. Tomorrow, he will wear his skates and step on the ice again because that is where he belongs, regardless of his rank. It’s where he has always belonged, seven, seventeen or seventy.
Tomorrow, he will dance his heart out because he was always meant to dance on ice.
For tonight, he beams at the sky as the tiny stars fall and lets them reignite his once lost passion.
Disclaimer: This story is and will continue to be historically INACCURATE. Many scenes and situations that occur would have been considered improper, unacceptable, unlikely, and at times impertinent. I simply chose not to let that get in the way of my plot. Artistic liberty, my friends.
Sanghyuk sidled up to Minah who stood by the microwave reheating the pasta. Patting her shoulder to get her attention, he cleared his throat and looked down.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” Minah replied, trying to hold back the giggle threatening to bubble past her lips “what’s up?”
“About earlier today,” he began, looking down and squirming “I’m really sorry…you know for chucking you into the pool. I saw that you didn’t have your phone in your pockets and just went for it…”
“Thank you for your concern for my phone,” the giggle finally slipped past making Sanghyuk whine petulantly.
“I’m trying to apologise! I didn’t know your sandals were rocks!”
“Han Sanghyuk!” Hakyeon hissed from the other end of the kitchen holding up a stack of plates. Sanghyuk raised his hands in surrender.
“I’m sorry I tried to kill you.”
“Sanghyuk!” Hakyeon looked like he was ready to throw a plate at the giant human standing beside Minah who was now doubled over with laughter. Taking a deep breath to calm herself down, she opened the door of the beeping microwave to pull the pasta out before turning to Sanghyuk.
“You’re forgiven. Now take this out there and don’t eat any on the way.”
Sanghyuk’s serious face turned into a giant grin as he took the dish from her “I make no promises,” he winked “Jaehwan will come soon with the prepared speech as well. He went to the loo because ‘Hakyeon’s glare was making him queasy’” he added conspiratorially making Minah chuckle.
“I did nothing except tell him off!” Hakyeon added defensively, trying to pile glasses onto the stack of plates in his arms. Minah walked over to take the glasses from him, shaking her head.
“Thank you for defending my…honour. Now let me save yours before these glasses fall and Wonshik throws a fit about us breaking the only glasses he has at home.”
Hakyeon grinned sheepishly, following her out to the large dining table where Haneul was setting jugs of drinks while Wonshik counted the number of forks and spoons that were on the table. Minah smiled as she set the glasses down, she was fond of how Haneul and Wonshik worked as a unit, weaving in and out of each other’s actions and thoughts. There was a silent intimacy between them that Minah admired, it was something that couldn’t be broken into.
“How were the interviews?” he asked in a low voice, opening the box of cake to take a look at it.
“It was alright, there was the same problem as always.” Haneul sighed, running her hands through her hair. Wonshik reached over to squeeze her shoulder soothingly.
“You were too smart for the interviewees?” he grinned making her huff as she undid the plastic around the delivery noodles Hongbin had ordered as his “contribution” (given that all of Hongbin’s experiments in the kitchen seemed like material that would land someone in the hospital).
“Basics are such an issue, they don’t know the basics of anything. I had to ask them so many roundabout questions to see if they even know how to use Excel, honestly.”
“Well I think it’s mighty nice of you to at least give them a chance with your roundabout questions,” Wonshik nodded solemnly, pressing a quick kiss on the top of her head before plucking the plastic wrap from her fingers and heading into the kitchen to dispose of it. Minah turned to see Hakyeon busily piling his plate.
“Minnie-aaah!” Jaehwan’s voice chirped as he barreled into the room freezing at the sight of Hakyeon “uh…sorry for trying to kill you.”
Haneul’s palm met her forehead and Hakyeon sighed.
“Does no one know how to apologise?”
“No, no they don’t.” Haneul sighed, picking her own plate up to reach for the sandwiches.
“What! I still apologised didn’t I? Acknowledged what I did and everything!” Jaehwan declared, waving his arms around defensively as Minah patted him.
“Yes yes, you are forgiven. Could you please call the people setting up board games in the living room to come and get their food?”
“Calling can be done,” Jaehwan nodded before hurrying to the door that connected the living room to the dining hall and bellowing “GRUBS UP LOSERS!” which caused a murmur to fill the room as people scrambled up to come into the dining room and pile their plates. Haneul turned to Minah.
“So I was just telling the boys, while you were upstairs with Miya, that I wasn’t comfortable sending you home alone like this,” she said, nodding at Minah’s get-up. “I know you’re alright, but I think nearly drowning is a traumatic experience.”
“Seriously Haneul, I’m fine,” Minah chuckled, waving her hand dismissively.
“It would really give me some comfort…” Haneul bit her lip, frowning.
“Alright, I’ll ask Sanghyuk to drop me off. Don’t worry!”
“Actually…” Haneul began, looking right behind Minah.
“I volunteered to drop you off,” Taekwoon’s voice piped up beside Minah as he picked up a plate making her start. Minah opened her mouth and shut it before opening it again.
“Please don’t trouble yourself! Honestly, I live in the middle of nowhere, I’m sure it will be way out of your way. You did more than enough to help me out today, I owe you big time as it is.” she rambled, wringing her hands, feeling his eyes on her.
“I live in the same neighbourhood, which is why I offered when Wonshik mentioned it,” he said, reaching for the pasta and serving himself some. Minah gaped yet again at the taller feeling heat creep up her cheeks. She cursed herself. She cannot have a crush on this random handsome man just because he saved her. For all she knew, he was probably dating someone. No one this good-looking could be single, she said to herself, the idea sounding like a very convincing argument. Shaking the thought out of her head, she cleared her throat.
“Uhm, if you don’t mind, then thank you.”
He nodded in response, picking up a cookie from the box Jaehwan had brought in.
Minah was certain she looked like a wet cat clinging onto Taekwoon as he helped her clamber onto the side of the pool, the buzzing in her head nearly drowning out the sound of Hakyeon screaming at Sanghyuk and Jaehwan. Taking another large gulp of breath, she noted the look of concern in Taekwoon’s eyes and nodded, trying to avoid looking anywhere but his face.
Which didn’t help much either, given that it was a terribly attractive face. Neither did it help that he was very close, almost standing between her legs.
“Are you alrigh-” Taekwoon began almost at the same time as Minah did.
“Thank you…” she found herself turning very red under his gaze. “I usually can swim…it’s just…” she wondered why she was whispering.
“Sandals. Excuse me…” the taller replied, reaching to unbuckle the offending footwear off as Minah watched in shock.
“Please! You needn’t!”
“They made you sink like a rock,” Taekwoon mumbled, easing the footwear off and casting them outside the pool where they fell with a clatter. He ran his fingers through the wet strands of his dark hair and let out a sigh through the poutiest pink lips Minah had ever laid eyes on, “I knew those two were up to no good, but I didn’t expect it to go like this.”
“Seriously though, thank you.” Minah’s vision was covered in white as Hongbin threw a towel around her and hauled her to her feet. Violently rubbing her hair with the fluffy fabric, he tugged her towards the house and away from Taekwoon.
“Are you alright? Let’s get you into some dry stuff.”
Minah opened her mouth and closed it, noting the guilty look on Sanghyuk and Jaehwan’s face, Hakyeon and Wonshik’s concerned looks and Taekwoon’s t-shirt by their feet with a half-eaten sandwich lying beside it. She bit her lip and looked down at the soaked ends of her dress and the stringy strands of hair hanging from her forehead. Looking back, she saw Taekwoon clambering out of the pool.
Throwing the kitchen door open, Hongbin led Minah in only to see Haneul setting her bag down on the counter and looking at the dishevelled and very soaked Minah in stark contrast to the crisp business formals she had on. She sighed, shaking her head before holding her hand out to her friend.
“Do I want to know what happened?”
Wrapping the towel tight around herself, Minah nodded to the backyard “Sanghyuk and Jaehwan threw me in the pool. While I had my sandals on…you know, the ones we bought together.”
“Might as well have tied a stone to your leg and thrown you in!” Haneul gasped before turning to Hongbin incredulously “And Hongbin pulled you out?! He can’t even swim to save himself!”
Rolling his eyes, Hongbin sighed “no, Taekwoon jumped in. In fact, he stopped mid-sandwich to jump in. Sanghyuk and Jaehwan thought she was staying underwater to fuck around.” He patted Minah on the back “have you got anything dry for her to wear?” he asked Haneul.
“I think some of Wonshik’s old t-shirts and shorts should do. I think I may have left something or the other behind, let’s see.” Haneul replied thoughtfully before nodding to Hongbin “go on, give them hell for me…unless Hakyeon is already on the task.”
Hongbin grinned “you bet your butt he is. I’ll just go out and make sure everything is alright and leave you guys to it.”
Watching Hongbin leave, Haneul quickly led Minah upstairs to find her a worn pair of sweatpants and one of Wonshik’s old t-shirts (after much debate about his very questionable fashion taste). Talking to Haneul was very comfortable for Minah. They had been online friends even before Minah had moved to Seoul having come in contact through one of Minah’s high school fests. She liked the warmth that Haneul spread, making everyone feel welcome and at home.
No wonder Wonshik was head-over-heels for her.
“I expected them to pull something like that, but honestly I didn’t expect to nearly drown,” Minah commented, tugging the t-shirt over her head, “I think I’m drowning in these anyway,” she said, stepping out of the bathroom and doing a dramatic twirl for Haneul.
“As long as you’re dry,” Haneul replied looking at her phone. “Haven’t Ara and Miya turned up yet? They were both pretty excited about meeting Hakyeon and Taekwoon.” It dawned on Minah that in the confusion, Haneul hadn’t had a chance to greet her friends either.
“No, they haven’t. I was expecting Miya sometime soon. Ara said she had a meeting with her boss. You should head down and meet Hakyeon and Taekwoon, I’ll just dry my hair and join you.”
Haneul set her phone aside “yeah, I’ll head down. I think Sanghyuk and Jaehwan will be preparing a ‘we’re sorry’ speech scripted by the one and only Cha Hakyeon. I don’t want to miss that!” she chuckled, heading to the door of the room before pausing and cocking her head “I think Miya is here.”
Minah leaned out of the bathroom to hear the steady thump-thump of footsteps coming up the stairs and prepared herself for the ball of energy that was their beloved Miya. If Jaehwan was a cute ray of sunshine, Miya was sunshine in the shape of a human being. Exuding happiness (and inappropriate jokes) and lifting everyone’s mood up, Miya was a pleasure to have around.
“3…2…1” Haneul counted down and the door flew open as Miya stormed in waving a bunch of irises tied together neatly with a violet ribbon and eyes wide.
“SANGHYUK TRIED TO KILL MINAH?!”
“I see Hongbin got to you first,” Haneul commented, holding the door open for the taller one to rush in and tackle Minah into a hug.
“You’re alive!” Miya threw her arms around her friend again dramatically making the latter giggle into her shoulder.
“Yes, very much alive, thank you.” Minah eyed the flowers clutched between Miya’s fingers “Are those for Hakyeon or Taekwoon? Because they’re getting crushed.”
Miya quickly detached herself from Minah and examined the flowers checking if there was truly any damage caused.
“Why are you gifting flowers of hope to two men returning from enlistment?” Haneul squinted at the flowers while Minah noted the sheepish grin and the blush creeping up Miya’s cheeks.
“They’re flowers of hope?”
“Did you just buy seasonal flowers? Because irises do quite well at this time of the year. I’m sure Hakyeon will appreciate them…not sure about Taekwoon, I’m sure he’d rather have a tub of ice cream…” Haneul mused as Miya turned redder.
“They’re not for either of them…uh…someone gave them to me…”
There was a moment of silence as Minah and Haneul processed what Miya had told them.
“Oh my god, who is it?!” Haneul exclaimed while Minah rubbed her own hair with the towel thoughtfully.
“What’s the ethics of people giving their counsellors flowers?”
“No no! It’s not someone coming to the centre! It’s from the part-timer at the florist’s next door!” Miya replied frantically waving her hands (flowers and all) to somehow make Minah’s train of thought come to some form of a halt.
“Oh?” Minah smirked, nudging Miya slightly.
“The part-timer has a wittul crush on our baby Miya?” Haneul giggled, joining in on the nudging.
“Nothing of the sort! I was just having a particularly heavy day so I came out of the centre for some air and a cup of tea! I was sitting on the bench outside just…decompressing and he came over and asked me if I was alright! I just told him I was getting a little overwhelmed at work and he ran into the shop and came back with these and ran away!” the tallest exclaimed as Haneul cooed.
“That’s so sweet! He was giving you a bunch of hope!”
“Was he cute?” Minah nudged her friend again. Miya threw herself on the bed in response (holding the flowers away to prevent them from being crushed) and mumbled into the mattress.
“I’m taking that as a yes,” Haneul replied, plucking the flowers out of her hands. “I’ll put these in a vase so you can take them home when we’re done with dinner.” Heading towards the door she turned back “wash up and come down.”
“Okay!” Miya called into the mattress giving the eldest a thumbs up while Minah patted her back. Miya rolled on the bed and looked at her friend who was shooting her an amused smile. “Minah! He looked like a cute little bunny!”
“Hmm,” Minah hummed thoughtfully “we do like bunnies…except Hongbin sometimes. Are you going to talk to him any time soon?”
Miya stared at the ceiling for a long moment, letting some of the stress of the day ease out of her body with a long exhale. “I don’t know…I should thank him for the flowers I suppose.”
“Maybe ask him to a cup of tea or something?” Minah replied, plopping down beside Miya “I need to figure out how to thank Taekwoon as well.”
Miya frowned “thank Taekwoon?”
“Yeah, he got me out of the pool. Didn’t Hongbin tell you?”
Miya rolled her eyes “no! He told me you nearly drowned and I was too worried to care about who saved you so I ran upstairs!”
“And now you can see I’m fine! Now go wash up, I’ll wait for you.” Minah smiled, lying down on the bed as Miya rolled off it and hurried into the bathroom. The former sighed, feeling more at ease with Haneul and Miya around. She wondered when Ara would be coming in given that she’d been frequently having meetings with her boss…what was his name again?
“Miya! What is Ara’s boss’ name? Was it Myungsoo?’
“Nah! It’s Kyungsoo!” Miya called back, rinsing her face.
“Huh, I was always bad with names,” Minah grumbled, starting when the door opened and Taekwoon’s head popped in.
“Uhm…” she struggled to sit up as he walked in.
“I was wondering if you were alright…so I came to check on you…” he began as Miya stuck her head out of the bathroom to see who the intruder was. “Sanghyuk was feeling too guilty to come…he’s been pacing like a mad man downstairs.”
“Oh…uh…yeah, I’m alright.” Minah sat up, fixing the t-shirt which she was practically drowning in. “I was just waiting for Miya,” she added, nodding towards the bathroom.
“Hey! Welcome back!” Miya waved with a grin as Taekwoon shot her a familiar warm smile.
“You’ve grown…” he commented as the youngest smirked proudly.
“I’m still growing, can you believe?”
Minah found herself smiling at the familiarity between the two, freezing when Taekwoon turned back to her and feeling scrutinized under his gaze. Heat flooded up her cheeks as she met his gaze, wondering if it was normal for someone to have such intense eyes.
“Are you sure you’re alright? Do you want to head back home?” he asked as Minah shook her head.
“No, I’m quite alright, thank you. I think we can head down and put everyone’s worries to rest,” she said, standing up and nodding to the door. Taekwoon shot her get-up an amused look before stepping out. Miya on the other hand smirked.
“What?” Minah blinked in confusion as she stepped out of the room.
“Nothing, other than you let your googly eyes for Jung Taekwoon slip,” Miya whispered, following her friend out.
“I had no googly eyes!” Minah hissed back.
“Sure, okay….Ara!” Miya waved at the new entrant standing at the end of the stairs greeting Taekwoon. Ara’s short bobbed hair bounced as she enthusiastically waved back.
“Hello, ladies! Sorry, I’m late, had a meeting! I brought cake though!” she held up a large box with a grin. Taekwoon quickly relieved her of the cake before heading into the kitchen.
“You’re having an awful lot of meetings these days,” Miya smirked as Ara shrugged in response.
“Kyungsoo had ordered the book I’d been looking for for months, so he called me in to hand it over to me.”
“That’s quite nice of him…isn’t this the second time in the month that he did this?” Minah quirked her eyebrow at Ara who shrugged again.
“Yeah, but it’s an acquisition for the shop as well. So I get to read it at work.”
“You know most bosses don’t let you read at work even if it is a book store?” Minah replied “maybe you’re a special employee.” she winked, while Miya held back a cackle.
“I am good at my work,” Ara nodded thoughtfully, making Miya and Minah roll their eyes. Ara often seemed oblivious to the attention she was gaining with her existence. Her pixie-like features and friendly demeanour attracted a great deal of men, women, and everyone in between, only to have their hearts very gently broken. From what Minah had understood, Kyungsoo had hired Ara not just for her skills in book-keeping, but the customers she attracted.
Apparently, the boss himself was interested. But she’d let Ara figure that one out for herself.
“I’m so good at my job that he’s ordered the Guardians book I’d been crying to you guys about! They should be coming in a few weeks…imports, you know.” Ara puffed up proudly and Miya patted her shoulder.
“You sure are the employee of the decade, now come. I’m starving.”
The heat was sweltering, coming in almost visible waves. Fanning herself, Minah eyed the condensation rolling down the jug of iced tea considering if she wanted to pour herself another glass. She wasn’t particularly used to the humidity having moved to Seoul just a year and a half back to attend university.
“Don’t stare at it, just drink it.” Hongbin groaned over the loud music, picking up a magazine to fan himself vigorously from the deck chair he was sprawled across. “Trust Wonshik to throw a ‘welcome back hyungs!’ party in the middle of fucking summer.”
Peeling the light fabric of her sundress off her skin and watching it flop back, Minah nudged him with her toe. Hongbin was one of Sanghyuk’s gaming friends who she’d hit it off with quite well. “He’s just being nice to his hyungs, and if I remember correctly, they’re your hyungs too.”
“Psh, yeah, they are.” Hongbin rolled his eyes, reaching for the cold jug of iced tea and pouring himself a glass before clumsily waving it around. “But a pool party for this is a bit much.”
“You wouldn’t be complaining if you knew how to swim. And don’t act so impersonal. The last time you got drunk, you sobbed about missing your Hakyeon hyung after calling Hyogi and me. I didn’t miss the clingy hugging when he arrived either, Mr Lee Hongbin.”
“Shut up, I did not,” Hongbin grumbled, as the woman in the red sundress shrugged, picking up the jug and poured herself a glass. “Remind me as to why I’m friends with you again?” he glared at her cheeky grin.
“Because I’m Hyogi’s classmate and he thought I was fun so he introduced me to you guys.” She replied, taking a deep sip of the too-sweet tea.
A whoop cut through the music as Jaehwan cannonballed into the pool, sending water everywhere. Hongbin ducked behind the magazine watching the excited man dog-paddle across the pool to a dark-haired man floating on his back with a screech of “Taekwoonie hyung!” making the man baulk at the bundle of energy speeding his way.
Minah eyed the interaction with a shudder. She didn’t know very much about Jung Taekwoon other than that he was one of Hyogi’s favourite hyungs (even if he didn’t admit it), and that he and Hakyeon (who had smiled kindly at her upon meeting) had just returned from their mandatory enlistment. Sanghyuk had mentioned that both Hakyeon and Taekwoon had been strong influences in his life from when he had just gotten into middle school.
Taekwoon caught her eye the moment she saw him with his imposing, broad stature, long limbs and almost feline features. He had nodded at her and softly greeted her when Sanghyuk had introduced them earlier that day. He hadn’t stood around to make small talk, instead choosing to drape himself over Jaehwan who had been lazing on the couch.
Minah turned to see Cha Hakyeon sitting by the pool with his feet dipped in, chatting away with Wonshik. Hakyeon was very handsome too and Minah wondered if Sanghyuk exclusively made friends with good looking people. He had been friendly and open, telling her that Sanghyuk has been full of praise for her and to come to look for him if Sanghyuk caused any trouble, leading to a very whiny overgrown manchild Hyogi.
There was a certain familiarity between everyone there that had her twisting the fabric of her dress awkwardly between her fingers, hoping that perhaps Hongbin’s sister Ara would turn up from her part-time job at the local bookstore or Wonshik’s girlfriend Haneul would come in with some more food even though Minah had brought (far too much of) her famous pasta and a variety of sandwiches, but Haneul had texted her that she would be late since she was busy taking interviews. Jaehwan’s cousin, Miya, was running late since she was volunteering at the local counselling centre that day. As much as Minah felt like she had been adopted into this little family, sometimes she felt like an outsider.
“Damn it, the iced tea is over,” Hongbin sighed, breaking her reverie, as he stumbled out of his seat to pick up the jug. Minah held her hand up and shook her head.
“You are definitely not making the next batch, you pretty much made liquid diabetes in a jug.” She declared, taking the jug from the shaky table. “Also, where is Sanghyuk?” she wondered aloud, and Hongbin nodded to the kitchen.
“Eating as much pasta as he can before Taekwoon gets to it.” the dimpled man snickered making the lady roll her eyes.
“Didn’t he say he’s going to swim after this?”
Hongbin shrugged, “if he has a deathwish, who am I to stop him? Now off you go to make your ‘oh so perfect’ iced tea.”
Fighting the urge to smack Hongbin’s handsome face, Minah trudged back into the house as another wave of heat hit her, making her grateful for her choice in clothing. The sandals were not particularly ideal but had been bought to fit the aesthetic. The heavy soles made a racket as she hurried into the kitchen to unsurprisingly find Sanghyuk with his cheeks stuffed and an attempt at a wide grin of greeting.
“S’good.” he mumbled with his mouth full, stabbing his fork into the large bowl of pasta. Minah shook her head before reaching for the iced tea premix concentrate and carefully measuring out the liquid into the jug. Sanghyuk nudged at her with another cheesy (no pun intended) grin.
“Must you insist on grinning like one of those men who flip women’s skirts?” Minah grumbled, nudging him. Towering over her, Sanghyuk managed to look somewhat offended with his mouth full.
“Why would you even say that?” he whined, making the shorter shoot him a look.
“You’re planning something, I know it.”
“I am planning absolutely nothing at all!” Sanghyuk gasped, holding his hands up as if to show he was innocent. Minah didn’t drop her glare as she vigorously stirred the iced tea before turning to the freezer to get the ice out and drop it into the jug. Shovelling a last forkful of pasta into his mouth, Sanghyuk turned to her.
“I’ll see you outside!”
“Sure!” Minah called back, banging the tray on the counter to get the ice out before plopping it into the jug as the dark liquid sloshed noisily in it. She remembered the watermelon juice Jaehwan had brought being put in the fridge as well and hurried over to retrieve it. Heaving the two jugs, she nudged the back door of Wonshik’s house open with her hip before very carefully walking down the little stone path to the pool. She eyed the contents of the jugs wearily as they sloshed around, threatening to spill out.
“I got it!” a voice called chirpily, and Minah noticed Hakyeon coming towards her to relieve her of her burden. “Kim Minah right?” his sharp features morphed into a kind smile “those sandwiches you brought are a hit, thank you!”
“Ah, thank you!” Minah found herself blushing at the flattery “I figured we’d all get hungry if we were playing by the pool.”
“Yeah, Taekwoon just got out and he’s attacking the sandwiches like it’s his last meal” Hakyeon laughed, nodding towards the dark-haired man silently munching on what looked like an egg sandwich. Minah found herself grinning as she walked with Hakyeon towards the pool. Hakyeon set the jugs on the table, drawing Jaehwan’s attention.
“Hey! Minah! You’re here! Excellent!” Jaehwan smirked, edging towards her and making her eyebrows quirk in suspicion.
“I was here the whole time.”
“Yes! Sanghyukkie! Minah is here!”
“Ah yes! Wonderful!” Sanghyuk scurried over with a giant smirk pasted across his face.
“What are you two getting up to?”
“Nothing.” they chorused, standing on either side of her. Minah vaguely heard Sanghyuk mumble a “3…2…1” and she found herself heaved into the air. On reflex, she screamed as the two men held her limbs and swung her towards the pool with mirthful laughter being the last sound she heard when her body hit the water.
Now, Minah knew how to swim. She’d been comfortable in water ever since she was very young. Somewhere in the back of her brain, she knew this had been Sanghyuk’s plan, but what was now causing her to panic was her sandals weighing down her legs as she frantically tried to kick her way to the surface of the water. Holding whatever little breath she had managed to gasp in whilst screaming, she reached for the straps of her sandals and began struggling against them cursing the existence of buckles. She could feel the burn in her lungs for the lack of oxygen which was enough to distract her from the splash in the water.
Once the physical strain kicked in, she nearly quit, cursing Sanghyuk with her last breath as a figure sped towards her and an arm wrapped securely around her, yanking her up to the surface. In her panic, she swung her arms around the shoulders of the person and took in a deep gasp of air before turning to identify her rescuer only to find that she was pressed up against the very naked chest of the handsome stranger named Jung Taekwoon.
A/N: Sorry it’s been a while since I’ve updated. I’ve been stressed and out of sorts with the homelife.
~~~~~~~~~
There was a feeling of unease circling about palace as faint screams were being heard at random times throughout the days that followed. For the first time, you’re grateful Ravi stays by your side. Even the rest of the girls got their own bodyguard, courteously from the prince himself.
Recently, Ravi’s been trying to cheer you up since the screams keeping sending you back to that night with Sarah. However, the walks throughout the palace tend to get boring after the third time, but he won’t dare to allow you outside after you ran to Hongbin’s. He had forbidden you from going there, at least until they could figure out how to help Hyuk. So most of the time you just sat in your room letting your mind wander.
On the brighter side of things, Hakyeon, in his own little way, has been of great help to understand the workings of the government. Even though this was an empire led by a single ruler, there were a few laws that prevented their ultimate control as well as a council to keep balance in the empire. The one law that caught your eye was the fact that single monarchs only had a certain amount of time to rule until they are forced to step down…
…and the Queen Dowager’s time was approaching fast.
~~~~~~
One night, you happened to recall what Hakyeon had said that night he dismissed those girls. ‘It just doesn’t make sense. Keeping the Prince focused on studies overall? Wouldn’t that make him a powerful option for a ruler? The isolation works but if he’s the crown prince, wouldn’t he be able to still order servants and do his duties? Also, Ravi said ‘He already knows.’ What did he mean by that? How could the Prince already know? Was he at the cabin when I was there?’
Nothing was making sense to you. You gaze over at the clock on your nightstand (a gift from Hongbin) and shrug before heading outside. There was a good amount of time left until sunrise but you needed to at least talk this out. Thankfully, Ravi was in a meeting for once.
Or so you thought.
Right as you reach the tree-line, Ravi is leaning against a tree, “What are you doing?”
Your head hangs, “Ravi, please. There’s some things I want to talk about with Hongbin.”
“Why not ask me? I’m a vampire, too. I can answer whatever questions you have.”
“See that’s the thing. It’s not really vampire related and best discussed off the grounds.”
His brows furrow. You raise an eyebrow, hoping you don’t have to say it out loud before realisation dawns on him, “I see. Then I’ll have to join you. Protection and all that.”
“But of course.”
The two of you make your way to the cabin. This time, the alchemist was outside, reading a book next to the glowing fire pit.
“I see you finally let her out. Any more news from the palace?” He greets you. Your guardian rolls his eyes before snapping back, “You already know what’s been going on. I don’t need to justify his orders. Also, I don’t see why you don’t go to her. I know you have eyes in the palace and he’s not that secretive about it either.”
“You already know why,” Hongbin marks his page, eager to move the conversation along, “So what did you say to convince your guard dog?”
You can’t help but raise a brow at Ravi’s comment but elect to say, “I want to talk about what’s going on in the palace and the Crown Prince.”
“..I see. We best move indoors. The wind tends carry whispers.”
He doesn’t say much else as he gathers his knapsack and gestures for you two to follow him. As soon as you were settled at the still cluttered table, Hongbin asks, “What do you want to know?”
“Well to be honest, I don’t believe what Hakyeon said about the prince being forced to ‘study’. It doesn’t make any sense given his position so I think it’s bullshit what he said. Also, this marriage ordeal feels more like a distraction than anything else. Almost like it’s to keep the nation’s eye away from someone trying to hide or do something.”
Hongbin glances at the vampire before sighing, “We were going to keep you on a need-to-know basis for the time being, but since you saw through Hakyeon’s lie, I guess we can tell you.”
“For the record, I wanted you to stay in the loop,” grumbles Ravi as he wanders about the cabin, “Without her, we wouldn’t have known about Hyuk until maybe his third or fourth feed.”
“I am aware of that,” hisses the alchemist, “You’re right. Like I said, Hakyeon lied about the ‘studying order’ since it’s easy to accept and no one questions it. The funny thing is that the prince has actually been studying quite a bit, but only in his free time. He’s at the point where all he needs is confirmation from a high priest to become one himself. He can do every ritual without a problem.”
“Better than even Her Majesty,” snickers Ravi, “Anyway back to the point.”
Hongbin’s eyes roll, “And this whole marriage thing is definitely not what it seems. Even the prince agrees, but he’s going with it since it was to happen sooner or later. We believe she’s trying to make a grab for power and is using this situation to make the prince look bad.”
He already knows.
“We believe that she’s using the marriage to her advantage to portray Taekwoon in a bad light.”
Your brows furrow, confused, “Who’s Taekwoon?”
“Oh, I thought you knew his name,” Hongbin shrugs.
“Hongbin, you know how tight security is. They refused to let basic information out of the High Circle,” mumbled Ravi now settled on the couch. Those books did not look comfortable to lay on, but who are you to argue about that with a vampire.
You shrug, “Yeah, we were only told he’s looking for a wife and that he’s a young adult in line for the throne of the Korean Empire. Literally nothing else. Or..at least that’s all I was told.”
“Certainly explains quite a few things aside from the obvious,” he rolls his eyes, “In any case, should the queen be successful, the council can vote to overrule the abdication law.”
“Also, if security is tight, how was the prince able to meet with you?”
“He has his ways. Plus, it was imperative that he knew the night you told us. In any case-”
Your brows furrow even more, “Wait was that before I got back to the palace with Ravi?”
Hongbin pinches his nose, “Look when doesn’t matter. It seems to me that you don’t like the prince that much.”
You roll your eyes, “He hasn’t really done much to win my trust.”
“From what I heard, he hasn’t killed you yet. Especially with all that time you spend together. I’m actually surprised he hasn’t made a move yet.”
Ravi clears his throat.
“Look, Taekwoon isn’t a bad vampire. You don’t have to worry when you’re around him. He doesn’t bite..often.”
Your heart lurched at that and the butterflies in your stomach were not happening. What you didn’t see was Ravi winking and nodding to the alchemist with a cheeky smirk.
“Anyway, in regards to Hyuk, we don’t know what overcame him. We’ve always seen him as a little brother and tried to keep on the right path since his mom died. Alas, we can only do so much without controlling his life. Plus his father is still a strong influence to him.”
You ponder on that for a moment, “Do you think the Queen Dowager is linked to Hyuk somehow?”
The guys look at each other before Ravi shrugs, “It’s possible.”
“I don’t think so,” scoffs Hongbin.
“Hongbin, think about it. Why else would his family move onto the royal estate after her death? There’s a few rumours that have been circulating the palace. You know this.”
“I know. But I’ve personally confirmed that he is not her son and given the ritual,” he stresses, “it would not have been possible.”
Ravi crosses his arms for a minute before his eyes snap to the door. He goes to a cabinet, grabbing something that you can’t see before saying he’ll be right back.
“What was that about?”
“Like I would know?” Hongbin rolls his eyes, “Now that he’s gone, what’s been happening at the palace?”
“Over the past few days, at least in the lounge of the fiancé palace, faint screams can be heard. It’s becoming hard to ignore and honestly, what shred of safety I felt there is gone.”
“If you want, I could make you a serum to use in an emergency. It can give you the appearance of a vampire, scent and all, but you will still be human.”
You nod and he begins to wander around his kitchen, grabbing different herbs and powders. Just as your mind began to zone out, Hongbin starts to go off into detail about how each ingredient works in the potion and how annoying sunflowers are to find in this time of year and that his number one client’s potion demands so many and the frustrations it causes him. At one point, just as he was adding mugwort and loud thud was heard outside. He furrowed his brows but shrugged it off before going back to what he was doing. You, however, hop down from the stool and just as you were about to grab the doorknob, the door opens.
The next morning before sunrise, Ravi meets Ryn at the stables. She’s all set to go but whips her hand out to stop him just as he lifts his foot. Her eyes scan the area with a stern scrutiny before nodding to him to get on his horse. Taking the reins, she races from the stable, Ravi not far behind.
For the better part of the day, the rode across the land. It was weird, he thought to himself, seeing this world before all the development of his time. Here and now everyone has to pull their own weight to survive. There aren’t any shortcuts and definitely no quick journeys.
~~~~~~~
In the early evening, they past through a dense woodland far from the village that she began to slow down.
“Where are we?” Ravi calls as he urges his steed to match her pace.
Of course she didn’t reply as
He followed suit, watching her closely. Dismounting, she guides her horse to the water before taking her saddle off its back. Stepping across the two rocks, she sets it down in a small clearing, one that’s just barely able to hold two tents. Ravi just stands there and watches as she begins to set up a small tent. Just as she’s finishing her’s, he snaps out of it and joins her. Granted his is not the best. He never went camping as a kid, only really ever seeing it done in shows from America, but at least his tent is standing…For now. Glancing over at hers, it was strong and sturdy. Done with practiced hands. One day, he will figure it out, but until then, he’ll just have to deal with how ever it falls.
With camp set up, she bumps Ravi with her bow before taking off. Not having much weapons, he simply trails behind her. After a few minutes, Ryn freezes and kneels down to look at the ground. Upon noticing that her ward isn’t paying attention, she grabs his hand and yanks. Ravi falls to his knees and before he can say anything, Ryn takes his head and forces it to looks ahead at the ground.
Deer prints.
“Oh, you’re showing me how to track,” he murmurs under his breath. Ryn smacks him on the head and gestures to focus on the trail. Her fingers inspect the track, running along the crisp edge. Her eyes snap up before she begins to move in the direction they faced, keeping low to the ground.
Following the trail for while, they finally stumble across a small doe. Ryn grabs Ravi’s shoulder and pushes for him to get low to the ground. Carefully, she pulls an arrow from her quiver and draws her bow. Taking a deep breath, her fingers release; her aim tried and true as the deer falls to the ground. Walking over to it, Ryn kneels before gently petting the deer’s head while lowering her, almost in thanks or reverence to something. Standing, she gestures for Ravi to come out of hiding. With a nod of her head, she begins to walk back to camp.
Ravi looks between her and the corpse on the forest floor before picking it up. ‘This is going to be a long trip.’
You couldn’t believe that this was your first mission. You get this snazzy new promotion in the court to join the Knights Guild and where does that land you? Stumbling through the nearby swamp to dispatch of a creature that’s stinking up the kingdom.
A soft pillowy voice drifts through the air, the breeze rustling the branches. The melody drew you further into the swamp.
Finally you stumbled upon the source of the voice…and the smell! In front of you was a grove, but this wasn’t occupied by elves or fairies as they commonly are. No. Instead, there was a giant troll covered in moss and other foliage leaning against a large tree.
He was softly singing, eyes closed as he swayed slightly back and forth with the tune. As you stepped closer, a twig snapped under your foot, startling the beast. Oh. Oh, his golden eyes were beautiful as they glowed like fireflies in the darkness.
‘What should I say—‘
“Who’s there?”
‘Oh shi-‘ “Uh foul troll! I came here to purge these lands of your vile influence. Your blood shall drench this wicked nest. These woods are not yours to rot and sicken!” ‘Was that too-.?’
He sighed, annoyed, “What the fuck? I’m literally just hanging out.”
“Uh.., uh..” ‘What?’ Your head falls forward, “Look, sorry but I was sent here to clear out the smell that obviously having an effect on the forest and then kingdom. So either you leave or I have to kill you.”
The giant simply looks at you, sadness in his eyes.
“I understand,” he says softly.
“Okay so are-“
“But I can’t leave!” He cried.
That catches you off guard, “What? Why?”
He leans back into the grove, curling in on himself, “If I leave, then the forest will begin to crumble. I was called here by the pleas of the trees. My kind, we have a deep magic in our voices that strengthens the essence of the forests we reside in. You think the forest smells now? Wait until everything rots away because I’m not here.” “But what is that smell now? Can I do anything to help it?” You implore.
The creature goes silent before suggesting that you go to the stream to get it some water.
“The grove is deep,” he said when you came back the third time, “My dry skin is the source of the smell, but if you were to create a small pond for me to sit in, it should help. You might as well take off your armour.”
~~~~~
It took a while. Longer than you ever wanted to be honest, but the smell was already dissipating as the giant cupped water over himself. You had tried to get him to tell you his name, however he was very much against the idea. Old fae law and all that.
“What shall I call you then if you will not give me your name?”
The creature shrugs.
A idea pops into your head, “What about Ken?”
“‘Ken’?” He thinks for a moment before giving a huge smile, “I like it. It sounds like can! So I can say I Ken do it.”
You two laugh together before you put your armour back on. After giving him your farewell and promising to visit every once in a while, you begin to head back to the kingdom, mission accomplished.
“Grab Ravi!” Ana yells as she rushes to the younger’s side. He was losing blood fast, but she can’t stop the bleeding.
“Fuck, it’s not stopping,” she looks to Hongbin, a question on the tip of her tongue.
“I don’t want to, but if you need to do it, do it,” he grits out. Her eyes snap up, “Leo! Knife!”
He tosses her one from his hip as N rushes over with ripped sheets.
“Put something between his teeth. I need to get the bullet out.”
N does as he’s told, “What are you going to do?”
She doesn’t say anything as she starts to dig the bullet out. Hongbin’s screams are muffled as he tries to move away from the knife. A minute later, the bullet pops out and Ana drops the knife in order to rip into her wrist. N removes the gag as she tilts back Hongbin’s head and lets him drink. As soon as he gulps, she pulls away. After a moment, she nods, “He’ll be fine. He only had enough to heal.”
Ana stood to go to the window, searching desperately for the shooter. What she saw ripped a loud growl from her throat. Two buildings away, Julie was set up with Robert’s rifle. Ana goes to jump but a hand stops her. She looks up to see Ken, brows furrowed.
“We’ve got another problem,” he says.
A groan sounded through the room from beyond the main door as hands pounded against it.
“Fuck. Ken, swap with Ravi and take Hongbin into the bedroom. We’ll take care of this.”
In no time, Ravi ran out into the room. He shared a look with Ana, quickly nodding to her right as the door broke down. Ravi and Ana did their best to hold back the hoard but a couple slipped through. Leo managed to decapitate one before tumbling to the floor. The zombie clawed at his arms as he held it back with the knife.
Suddenly the weight disappeared, and he was lifted, being taken away from the battle.
“Are you okay?” Ken asked as he was placed on the bed. Other than his arms, his hand was deeply cut from the knife.
“I can be for now,” he winces out. Ken nods before going back to the fight. Everyone successfully fended off the zombies, pushing them back to the floor below at least. Ana looks at the group, thankful that they got supplies at the hospital. She didn’t want to keep relying on their blood to heal everyone. ‘Not to mention the possibility that they could end up like how I turned.’
“Let’s get everyone patched up. I’ll tend to Leo,” she announces, speeding ahead of everyone.
Once they got back, Ana was finishing up with Leo and checking over Hongbin, who was back on his feet. Ken and Ravi stood guard as everyone tended their wounds. Once they were done, N looks to her, a question in his eyes.
“Yeah, we gotta leave right now. Is everything ready?”
“Just a few things left.”
“I’ll go get us a van,” Ken said, picking up one of the duffle bags and his bag before jumping out of the window. Leo and N left to the bedroom and grabbed their backpacks as Hyuk and Hongbin finish putting the remaining bandages and clean sheets in the other duffle. Ana went to the window, watching over her boyfriend. ‘Strange. They aren’t reacting to him, but the ones that attacked us? Can they sense humans?’ She thought as Ken found a van and waved up to her. ‘Must be cautious in case the sound triggers them.’
“Hey, Ravi.”
He gives one last glance down the hallway to be safe before going over to Ana, “What’s up?”
“Go down to Ken and take the bag with you. See if they’ll get near you but don’t attack them unless they make the first move.”
She watched as he did what she asked and as he landed, those undead that were around him seemed to move farther away. As they opened the van doors as quietly as they could to place the bags inside, she couldn’t understand why they weren’t reacting. Ana focused on her hearing and listened for anything that would be an issue. She gasped.
“Guys, the group that we fought is making its way down to you. Fast,” she whispered, “Ravi, get back up here to help me carry the guys down.”
Leo came up to her side, looking over her at the ground below.
“How are we going to get down there?” he asked as he threw his bag over his shoulder.
“The direct way,” Ana smirked before her face turned serious, “That hoard we fought is on their way down right now so we need to hurry.”
Ravi climbed through the opening between the two.
“Hyuk. You and Leo will be with me. Ravi, you take N and Hongbin.”
N hurriedly threw his bag on and basically tried to tackle Ravi. As soon as the two were situated in her arms, she jumped from the window. Sticking the landing, she rushed them to the van. Ravi landed soon after with the other two.
“Leo, can you drive?” Ana asked softly.
“Uh, yeah. Why?”
“You’re the driver,” she declared.
Leo carefully made his way to the driver’s seat, successfully evading the zombies shuffling about. The guys follow suit as they clamber into the van. Right as Ana closed the side door, the hoard burst from the hotel’s doors.
“GO!!” Ana screamed.
“But what ab-“
“We’ll catch up. Just go!”
Leo punches the gas and the van speeds away. The vampires fight off the hoard, ripping them apart as best as they could. As soon as it was whittle down significantly, Ana calls for them to race to the van. Running as fast as they could, they reached the van in no time, now several blocks away. Ana and Ken jump, landing on the van’s roof. Hongbin must’ve noticed them because he opened the side door for Ravi to jump in. N rolls down the window to yell out.
“Where to?”
“We should get onto the highway,” Ana calls, “That’ll get us out of here.”
Ken said, “We’ll stay out here as long as we can.”
N rolls up his window as Ken turns to Ana, settling next to her. She watches the wind toss his hair about, making him look especially handsome in this moment (even with all the blood splattered on his face). He gives her a soft smile before leaning in to kiss her. Despite her world being flipped on its head, she wouldn’t have any other way.
When Ana got back to the hotel, the guys were already up in the room. She could hear them happily chatter as they caught up, but what was concerning was the amount of zombies gathering about. The climb flew by and soon she was standing in the open window watching the guys form cuddle pile. Genuine happiness like this was becoming a rarity all too soon. Leo was the first one to notice her.
“Ana!”
The five other men looked to her before bringing her into the pile. Soon everyone broke away, but Ken stayed by her side, wrapping his arms around her.
“Thank you. Not only for trusting me but saving Ravi. I didn’t thank you back there.”
She pulled away just enough to look him in the eye, “You haven’t given me a reason to not trust you.”
Ana leans back into the embrace, just enjoying the moment.
“Not to be the bearer of bad news, but what are we going to do now?” N questions, “I know you were having a moment but we do need to figure this out as I don’t believe the seven of us can comfortably stay here..”
The couple sighs as they break apart.
“You’re right. I believe it would be best if we get out of the city. Less likely to be hoards of zombies in the countryside.”
“We’ll need a van.”
“And we should leave sooner than later. There’s more of those things gathering down there and with the sun rising in a few hours, it’ll be hard to do anything during the day, especially fighting.”
They sit for a moment, thinking. Then Ana realised something.
“Remember two days ago when you were attacked and I had healed you? They ran away. Kinda like how they didn’t want to fight me as if..as if their instincts told them I was a superior predator.”
“That was right before you healed me and save Leo and N right?”
She nods. Then realisation hit her, “What they fear us when we just fed? When we’re at full strength?”
“That means leaving would be easier,” Ken starts bouncing with excitement. Ravi perks up at that from across the room, “How can I help?”
“We’re going to need to gather everything as quick as possible. Since we’re the muscle, we’ll have to carry everything,” she looks around at the guys before standing, “Okay, Ken. Ravi. We need to feed. The rest of you start gathering up our stuff. If it’s not necessary to our survival, leave it behind. Compact everything you can as much as possible.”
The three vampires head off into the kitchen and begin to down a couple blood bags each. N gathers up the guys as they plan how to pack everything. They figured it would be best to wear gear up with the knives and then carry any firearm in bags. It was better to use the quieter weapons anyway.
With the four of them going at it, packing took little to no time at all. N had through Ravi his book bag to put any other food in (ie: blood).
Aftersecuring several scabbards to his person, Hongbin came over, “Hey, I just had a thought. What are you guys going to do about sunlight in the car?” He asked.
“We found out that as long as we’re not in direct sunlight, we’re fine so no worries there.”
“Awesome.”
Right as Hongbin started to walk back over to Hyuk, a sharp pain ripped through his left shoulder as the vampires dove to cover everyone.
A/N: This took so long to figure out ._. while I’m not the happiest with the ‘fight’, it’s the best I can do…..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Ana!?” Ken knelt down beside her, dropping the bag to the ground.
BANG!
He manages to dodge in time as another bullet lodges itself in the pavement behind him. Ravi stands guard in front of Hyuk and Hongbin, looking up at the buildings.
“There!” He hisses at a moderately tall building.
“Wait a minute!” The vampires hear a female voice from the rooftop, “One of them looks familiar!”
“Julie!” A gruff voice rasps. A light clink is heard as the bullet is pushed out of Ana. She groans as she sits up, rubbing her head where she got hit, “Fuck that hurt. I’m tired of getting shot.”
A minute later, none other than Julie ran out of the building. Ana and Ken quickly moved to Ravi’s side, the maknaes behind them. Julie skids to a stop, “Ana??”
“Julie!”
Ana freezes as a middled-aged, heavy set man rushed toward the traitor of a sister and harshly grabs her arm. His gruff voice complimented the rough, patched up clothes that were at least five years old. A belt of ammo was thrown over his shoulder and a pistol was in the holster over his left hip. His black bushy hair stuck out from the camouflage ball cap, his long beard frayed and scraggly. Robert: Her so-called guardian.
“What the-?”
“Get them back to the hotel. I’ll catch up,” Ana mumbles to her boyfriend as she stares down the two.
Ken glances at the pair before nodding, “Let’s go, guys.”
The man stalks up to the dark haired woman, yanking Julie to him by her arm.
“Da, it’s Ana.”
“Hmph,” her father sneers, “No it’s not. That ungrateful whore is dead an’ gone.”
All the hurt, the pain caused by these two rushed back to Ana, a growl slipping from her throat. Ana was fuming. “Sorry to constantly disappoint, Robert.”
His eyes snapped to hers.
“Impossible,” he lowers his gun, but not by much, “I made sure of it.”
“What did you say, asshole?” she growls.
“Don’t ya swear at me, ya little bitch! Don’t ya dare raise your voice at me.”
“No, I will. What the fuck do you mean you made sure I died.”
It was then she really took in what he was wearing. On top of his old clothes was all new equipment. Ammo belt strung across his chest, new knives strapped to his legs and a shiny new rifle in his hand.
“You fucker. Killed me for insurance money. Guess the government’s money wasn’t good enough for you.”
He spat at her feet, “It was the only good thing I got outta ya. But what did I expect from a whore’s bastard.”
Ana’s fists tightened, trying to reign in her anger.
“That bitch went around sleeping with every man in town,” he snarls, “Someone needed to put her in her place.”
“‘Put her in her place’?! Who are you to say what her place is? You think a lowlife like you has any authority over what someone does with their life,” Ana growls right back at him, “Why would any one submit to a drunk, sexist asshole?”
Julie cackles, “You would have followed your sweet old ma to the grave if it weren’t for us. You’re lucky we took you in.”
Ana snarls, “Fuck you and everything you ever did to me, you asshole.”
“That’s it! I’m tired of your ungrateful ass!” he screamed. Robert aimed at her head, pulling the trigger. Ana dodged, slide to his side and punched him with all her strength. His body flies into the building’s side, a sickening crunch sounding out. Ana’s body is surging with adrenaline and when she turns to Julie, the human is on the ground in shock, her wide eyes staring up at Ana. Taking a deep breath, Ana stares Julie in the eye, “You’re not worth it.”
With that, Ana turns back towards the hotel, leaving the last of her human life behind.
A/N: Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve updated this story. Life kinda gets away from me and also I got a lot of other stories on my mind. Plus, Corona~~~
~~~~~~~~~
“Now, Ryn, we can explain,” Berrin steps in front of Ravi.
She stares at Berrin for a moment before glaring at Ravi. Ryn spins on her heel and grabs Leif’s hand. As the two leave, Berrin sighs before looking to the rapper, “Don’t worry. I’m sure everything will be alright.”
“Alright?! She looks ready to kill me!” Hisses Ravi. Berrin places a hand on his shoulder, before going back to the deer, “Come on, we should get this salted so darn maggots don’t get it.”
~~~~
A couple hours later, Ravi carefully approached his master to let her know that dinner was ready. Leif tells him that he and Berrin will be joining as well. He kept his head down throughout the meal. The guys chatted about the random happenings around the village, updating her with what she missed. She never smiled though, always looking at him whenever he dared to look up at her through his lashes.
It was as the two were leaving that Leif grabbed Ravi’s shoulder, “Ravi, Ryn and I were talking earlier and she wants to take you away.”
“What?” Ravi’s eyes widen as his mind begins to race. Was she going to dump him in the forest? Give him to a different owner? Killhim??
“None of that,” Leif gives him a smile, “She wants to take you away from the village to…”
He looks around before giving Ravi a reassuring squeeze, ‘She wants to train you. I can’t say it out loud, please understand.’
Leif’s voice echoes in Ravi’s head, startling him.
‘Yes, I am speaking to you. I’m a telepath. We can talk about this another time. Be packed by tomorrow morning.’
With that, Leif and Berrin leave the younger standing there, dumbfounded.
I’m going to say this now with news of Hongbin leaving VIXX:
The only reasons I would stop writing for idols are as follows:
They are in a relationship/getting married
They have passed away
They are under investigation for certain crimes
If they leave the group, they are still in my heart. Look at Kris, Tao and Luhan. We still love them despite leaving back in 2014/15.
I won’t remove any stories that I’ve posted because they were written when I was a fan of them. Of course things can change. They do all the time, but they don’t change how I felt at the time of writing them
Many an adventurer had been given this quest and yet for some reason, none have completed it. The king had sent out a call for help a few months ago. Apparently, a dragon had taken residence in the mountains nearby and was terrorising the farmers and their livestock. In any case, their lost was your gain.
So here you were, scaling the Eastern Mountain as the began to set. As you neared the cave entrance, a roar shakes the ground beneath your feet. You draw your sword before cautiously entering the cave. The next sound, however, stopped your heart: A scream. A very human scream.
You race into the cave, praying that you weren’t too late.
There!
On the floor was a man laying face down under a higher quality blanket surrounded by piles of gold. The treasure room. Blasted creature must be nearby. He groans as you nudge him, “Sir?”
You had to get him out of there.
“Sir!”
He shoots up with a yelp, stumbling backwards over himself with wide eyes. “What are you doing here? Are you here to slay me?” His warm baritone voice was heavy with resignation. Almost like he was expecting this.
Your brows furrow, “No. I’m here to slay a dragon. Not a human.”
“Uh…yeeah..that’s me.”
“Impossible,” you scoff.
“You can thank my father for that. Because of him, my family’s been cursed to become human as soon as night falls.”
You raise an eyebrow.
“I’m telling the truth! Do you see a dragon around here?” He flails his arm at the cavern, exasperated. Quickly looking around, you huff as you sit back on your heels, “Say you are telling the truth, what about the farmer’s livestock?”
“I do have to eat, don’t I? I never take more than my fill when I need to.”
You cross your arms as your eyes narrow at him. He rolls his eyes, “If you don’t believe me, then you can just leave,” the man stands, letting the cloth fall to the floor. ‘Why is he naked?’
“The other mercenaries were the same. Always coming at sunset and getting pissed when they meet me. I might move just for some peace and quiet.” You hear him mumble to himself. Out of curiosity, you find yourself following him further into the cave. Towards the back behind the mountain of gold was a little alcove with a small bed and piles of books. He spins when he hears your armour clanking about.
“Why are you staying?” His brows furrow, “
“I don’t know. I’ve never really been in this situation before,” you look down at the sword in your hand with a sigh. As you sheath it, you look back up at him, “If you are cursed like you said, that means you’ll turn back at sunrise, right?”
He looks away as his gives you a quick nod. You glance back around at the cavern, thinking. After a moment, you take a deep breath before pulling at the straps on your gauntlets. As you’re working on the other hand, the man’s attention snaps back to you, “Wha-what are you doing?”
“I shouldn’t be in any danger until morning comes, going by the curse. I’ll be damned if I wear this armour when I don’t need to.”
“Don’t you need help to put it back on?”
You give him a cocky smirk, “Not my armour. Made it myself so I don’t need another pair of hands.”
He starts to frantically look around before diving for something as you continue to take off your armour. When you look up, he’s wearing a deep red robe with gold trim.
“You got a name?”
“Uh..Hyuk,” he blinks as his cheeks flush while he fumbles a book.
You studied him as he goes about what he was doing. He had boyish good looks but there was an underlying charm that aged him perfectly. If you were to assume his age, he would be about mid-twenties. ‘If he’s human anyway.’ Hyuk was well fit too. While he was naked, you hadn’t really paid much attention, but now you could. Abs peeked out from where the robe crosses over at his waist. His hair was warm brunette and just fell over his eyes. That’s where your breath got caught in your throat. Bright orange and red with gold flecks and thin pupils stared back at you. The eyes of a dragon.
‘Wow I’m an idiot.’
He must have sensed your realisation since he started to back away.
“So you were telling the truth?”
“Yes,” his voice was quieter than before. Why did this pain your heart? You look away to think again before asking, “And you really don’t terrorise the kingdom?”
Hyuk shakes his head, “Honestly, I like being human. I get to read books and learn about the world without being afraid that warriors will come kill me.”
“I’ve heard tales of a couple witches that live in the northern woods. Maybe they could be of help?”
He gawks at you, “The northern woods?? I heard that area can be treacherous for a dragon. The northern tribes are not as forgiving as this king.”
“I’ll be by your side. We can move at night and sleep during the day,” you get up and walk over to him, “You can trust me.”
“Why? You came here to kill me!”
“I came to kill a dragon that was threatening the kingdom and since you are not doing that, I hold no ill-will towards you.”
He gazes into your eyes for a moment before nodding.
“When would you want to leave then?”
You smirk and go back to your armour, “We can leave now if you’re ready.”
A giant smile graced his lips before he starts to gather his stuff.
You hadn’t had much interaction with Hakyeon, but goddamn is he terrifying when he is on a mission. Granted he is the royal family’s secretary, so making the palace run smoothly is his job. Still it didn’t help calm the bundle of nerves settling in the pit of your stomach as you raced back to the palace.
Right as Ravi plops you down, your eyes met Ju-ang’s, who raises an eyebrow as you try to make yourself presentable. You turn to Ravi, ready to ask him about what happened back there but he cuts you off.
“We’ll talk when Hakyeon is done.”
Your eyes narrow, “Only if I’m allowed to stay.”
“Either way, there isn’t time.”
He escorts you and Ju-ang to the main lounge where all the other girls are waiting. Quite a few of them had annoyed looks on their face like how dare their time be wasted like this and others were quietly talking with each other. A couple of girls shot death glares at you, no doubt because of your nightgown but oh well. At least it was one of your nicer ones.
The door slams open, two guards rushing to their positions on each side of the doorway as Hakyeon gracefully strode forth, clapping his hands to grab everyone’s attention.
“Listen up, if I call your name, you are to step forward and form a line.”
Your hands begin to shake as you watch one after one walk up to stand in front of the man. Then he stopped and took a moment to glance amongst them.
“All thirty-six of you are dismissed. The Crown Prince has decided that you may return to your respective kingdoms.”
Oh shit that’s most of the group. You and Ju-ang share a look, both shocked and relieved that you both got to stay.
“Now, if you may, go collect your—“
“I’ll take it from here,” Jisoo, the Queen Dowager’s high matron interjects. You didn’t even hear her come in, “By orders of the Queen Dowager.”
“Very well.” Maybe it was just you, but Hakyeon seemed to get rather tense with this order as he gave her a slight bow. She turns to the women, “Gather your things, We’ll make preparations for your journey home, but you are not stay in this building any longer. We have a guest home that will serve as your in-between home for now.”
Why did that not sit well with you?
“The rest of you, go about your regular business.”
Then Hakyeon’s bright red eyes fell upon you, “Why aren’t you properly dressed?”
You looked down at the robe that you had through over your nightgown earlier that morning, “I wanted to see the sunrise, sir. I simply lost track of time…” You quickly lied.
Hakyeon stares at you for a moment but doesn’t say anything before discussing something with the guards at the doorway. Ravi taps on your shoulder and gestures for you to return to your room. As soon as you were beyond earshot of everyone else, you turned to him, “Why was Leo there?”
“He’s a friend of Hyuk’s.”
“So? What could he do to help? He’s just a hu—“
“I got Hongbin’s message but I was swamped. Figured I’d run into you and ask. What’s going on?”
Your eyes widen as you turned to see Hakyeon with a very concerned expression on his face. Ravi sighs heavily, “You’re not going to like it, hyung.”
“Then spit it out.”
“Y/N saw Hyuk drain Sarah of the British Isles.”
“Fuck, I’ll need to bring this,” his eyes shift between you and Ravi, “to the prince’s attention. He won’t be too happy to hear about this.”
“He already knows. She went to Hongbin’s this morning. That’s how we found out.” Ravi, the little shit, ratted you out.
“Certainly explains the nightgown. In any case, at least I don’t have to deal with his anger. His mother is already more than I can handle.”
You looked between the two, confused. Yeah you heard rumours about the Queen Dowager, but nothing definitive. Especially relating to anything about the upcoming wedding.
“Can you explain to me exactly why she’s more than you can handle? I’ve only heard rumours about her from the other girls.”
Hakyeon stared at you like you just grew another head and then it grew its own second head.
“H-How—?”
“She’s not from this universe,” Ravi rushes out under his breath. He looks at you, eyes telling you he’s sorry. The secretary pinches the bridge of his nose as he takes a deep breath.
“The Queen Dowager has been ruling the Empire ever since His Majesty passed away unexpectedly when the Crown Prince was 16. She has basically trapped him in his study forcing him to learn nonsense upon nonsense in order to become Emperor. The wedding is her latest stunt. She specifically choose to invite unfavourable women. Those that had been spoiled a little too much by their parents, but I was the one who opened the call to other families.”
“Hence why I’m here…in a way.”
“Yes. It was an attempt to throw her off, which worked for a little bit, but I fear she’s gaining her footing again. She has more than half the council on her side since she has been keeping the economy strong.”
Ravi groans, “She’s getting harder to touch. Prince Taekwoon won’t like this.”
You swear you see the corner of Hakyeon’s lip curl up slightly.
“No, he won’t.”
“Perhaps there’s something in her study? Or her room?”
The men exchange a look before turning back to you.
“Perhaps, but for now, try now to draw attention to yourself. With less potential brides around, actions are more noticeable.”
You nod solemnly.
“By the way, why were you at Hongbin’s so early in the morning?”
You stumble over your words, “I-I wanted to know more about vampires and since I thought he was the only one that knew I wasn’t from around..here..that he wouldn’t judge me for not knowing.”
Ravi places a hand on your shoulder, “Y/N, we won’t make fun of you. Also, there are five of us that know you’re not from here. Hongbin’s shit at keeping secrets from us. But seriously, you can ask us anytime.”
“Thank you.” That probably the first smile you had since that night happened, but now…now your world is crumbling in on itself and you’ve barely seen Leo enough to keep you grounded.
A/N: I miss Hongbin’s twitch channel even though he always streamed at 5am my time…. ._.
Also, I know this isn’t for everyone, but I really do love Skyrim and wanted to write this so please enjoy （＾ω＾）
~~~~~~~
You were walking home from a long day at work. You missed the last train and you weren’t in the mood to deal with the rambunctious taxi drivers at this hour. In any case, it was a nice night, the full moon high in the sky. In fact, you were too busy staring up at it that you didn’t notice the person walking your way. Before you could utter an apology, the ground opens beneath the two of you, hurtling you into darkness.
~~~~~
“By the nines!!” A rough voice exclaimed, startling you awake. You scramble to your feet, your eyes meeting that of a strange man wearing armour. Next to you was the guy you had bumped into but where the hell were you.
“Who are you?”
You turn back to the one that woke you. Actually, his armour is somewhat familiar. It’s kinda like…
“Get down!” He jumps on top of you, covering you from something. Loud thunder rumbles from the sky. You think he’s crazy until a dragon to flies over your spot. As it soars away, the man next to you groans as he starts to come to. Soldier guy climbs off of you.
“Sorry about that. That dragon just attacked Helgen and I barely escaped with my life.”
HELGEN???? AM I IN SKYRIM??
“Helgen? Are..are you on your way to Riverwood?”
He nods, “Yeah, my uncle’s a blacksmith there.”
“May we come with you? I’m Y/N. We were sent here from another dimension.”
The soldier takes a step back, eyes wide, “A plain of Oblivion?”
“Not really. More like a different universe. It’s hard to explain. Anyway, what is your name?”
“I’m Hadvar. What about him?”
You look back to the only other person from your Earth, who is looking around with wide eyes. Oh damn, he’s beautiful. Warm brown eyes and strong, sharp features. Shame romance has to be thrown aside for the time-being. You kneel next to him and gently ask, “Hey, what’s your name?”
His eyes snap to yours, his shoulders relaxing ever so slightly once he noticed your clothes versus Hadvar.
“Lee Hongbin. Where are we?”
“Tamriel. Skyrim. More specifically in the Hold of Whiterun.”
Hadvar clears his throat, “We should get going. I don’t want to stand around while that dragon is flying about.”
You nod and stand before holding a hand out to Hongbin. The three of you make your way to the small town of Riverwood.
“Perhaps we could go alert the Jarl of Whiterun for you?” You suggest as you walk.
~~~~~~~~~~
Two Years Later:
“Do you ever think of home?”
You lower your bow to look at Hongbin as he gazes out at Lake Ilinalta as the sun sets.
“We are home,” you quip as you turn back to the target, wasting no time in shooting at its dead centre.
He shakes his head, “No I’m taking about Earth.”
You don’t say anything for a while.
“Honestly? No I don’t. I do miss somethings but overall, I’m happier here.”
Hongbin shifts back to the view.
“Air conditioning and phones would be nice to have again,” he murmurs, the gentle breeze rustling through his hair. The two of you haven’t explored the idea of marriage in this world, either too scared or worried that you’ll suddenly be snatched from this world too.
“True,” you sling your bow over your shoulder, knowing where his thoughts actually were. Their friends and family. Making your way over to him, you lean against the fence beside him. You sigh, “Even if I wanted to go back, the issue is how. We are able to teleport all over Skyrim, wield magic, even possessing the Thu’um. Despite all of this, it’s not strong enough to send us back. Before we took on Alduin, I came to peace with being stuck in this world.”
Hongbin shoots up, “Wait, the Elder Scrolls! What if those could help us? We should talk to Paarthurnax.”
Your heart constricts seeing him like this. It wasn’t the first time he got in this slump, but lately it’s happening more often. He started to bounce down the stairs leading to the North Road. When he looks back at you, his smile falters.
“Y/N?”
Your head falls forward, “Sorry, Hongbin. I’m heading to Solstheim in a few days. There’s been tales of a greater threat rising in the Northern part of the island. But…let me know if you are successful.” You can’t help the sad smile on your face before turning to go back inside the manor.
“Everything alright, my Thane?” Rayya asks, startling you as you close the door.
“Yes, Rayya.”
You don’t see Hongbin that night.
~~~~~~~
He never returned to the manor before you set out for the island of Solstheim. You finally had a moment to get to the bottom of the mysterious cult followers that had pursued you throughout Skyrim. Miraak, the first Dragonborn, was beginning to stage his return from Apocrypha. Although it took a while, you managed to foil his plans. As you returned to Skyrim, you couldn’t help but worry about what the afterlife will hold for you. You weren’t religious, but being the “champion” of multiple Daedric Princes did not bode well. Also, would you still go to the plains of Oblivion if you made it back to Earth? A pain settled in your heart. Hongbin. Your eyes drifted towards the Southwest as the Northern Maiden docked.
Did Hongbin manage to talk to Paarthurnax? Did he find a way? You knew couriers were good but you didn’t believe they could receive messages from other universes. Then again there were those strange letters you two always got from “a friend.”
“Thank you,” is all you say as you disembark and make your way through Windhelm. Once you were outside the city walls, you conjure up the map, quickly settling on your home, Lakeview Manor. A moment later, you are standing in front of the grand building you built with Hongbin. As you unload in your collection room after greeting the bard Llewellyn, your housecarl Rayya wanders in.
“Honoured to see you, my thane.”
“Rayya, have you seen Hongbin in the time I’ve been gone?” You asked as you hang up the last axe.
She shrugs, “Master Lee has not returned since before you left.”
You zone out, darker thoughts of what could have happened to him starting to swirl about in your mind. Shaking your head, you turn back to Rayya, “Very well. I will sleep here tonight and then I’ll be off in the morning.”
Rayya bows as you leave for your bedroom. As soon as your head hit the pillow, you were out.
~~~~~
That morning, you were off again. This time, High Hrothgar called your name. If Hongbin was going to the Throat of the World, it makes sense that he would talk to the Greybeards. As you walked into the main hall of High Hrothgar, Arngeir greets you, “Dragonborn.”
“Arngeir,” you give him a small bow, “I was wondering in Hongbin made his way through here.”
“A couple years ago, he did, yes. Asking about teleportation between universes. Although, we do not possess that kind of knowledge.”
You nod before bowing yet again, “Thank you.”
Making your way out to the courtyard, you teleport up to the Throat of the World, home of Paarthurnax.
~~~~~
“Ah, Dovahkiin. It has been a while,” the old dragon greets you as he lands upon the worn down word wall.
“Paarthurnax, my friend. How have you been?”
The dragon simply lowers his head, “Peaceful as always. But I feel that you have not come here to krosis. Talk.”
You sigh, “That is true. I’m looking for Hongbin.”
“He seeked mindoki. Knowledge. Of other worlds. We Dovah do not have such knowledge.”
You hum to yourself as you think, then an idea hits you, “Did he say anything about the College of Winterhold.”
Paarthurnax nodded, “That he did. Trust your instincts, Dovahkiin.”
You give him a bow before pulling up the map. Off to the College.
~~~~~~
“Haven’t seen him for a year now,” the old orc Urag gro-Shub grumbles, “Was going on about how this universe has so much magic but can’t travel between other universes.”
“Yup, that sounds like him,” you murmur, “Thank you anyway.”
As you turn to leave, Urag shouts, “If you find him, tell him we would like to see our Arch-mage sometimes.”
“Will do!”
Where in Oblivion is he? You don’t even bother with your map as you leave the college, preferring to walk for a change. It’s clear that he’s been busy since you were gone. Arch-mage of the college at the very least. What other faction has he joined in your absence? Your feet take you on the western road. You stumble across bandits here and there, but nothing really slows you down. It was when you arrived in Dawnstar something felt off. Making your way to the northern end of the town, you find exactly what you’re looking for. The Dark Brotherhood Sanctuary.
“What is life’s greatest illusion?” The Black Door’s raspy voice asks.
“Innocence, my brother.”
“Welcome home.”
The door opens and you walk in, taking care to be cautious. In the opening ahead, you see a familiar jester. And he sees you.
“Wait, oh wait. I know you! Yes, yes from the road! Cicero never forgets a face! And you helped me! You helped poor Cicero! You talked to Loreius, got him to fix my wheel! Oh, you may have pleased me, but you have surely pleased the Night Mother. And our mother, she will never forget.”
“So you were transporting the Night Mother? Clever way hiding it right under everyone’s noses.”
Cicero jumps up and down, “Yes! Silly guards never suspected Cicero!”
“Cicero, what are you going on about n—“
You gasp.Hongbin.
“Oh Listener, look who has joined the brotherhood!”
He looks worse for wear. His posture is slumped, his cheeks hollow and bags under his eyes.
“You little shit!” You hit him, every word punctuated by with each punch, “I go on a hunt for you all over Skyrim only to find you here in raggedy town.”
The commotion caught the attention of everyone in the sanctuary and now we had an audience. He pushes you off of him and crosses his arms, annoyance dripping from his words, “What do you expect me to do? Just sit around and wait for you to return from whatever quest you’re on?”
“Listener, why is there intruder in the sanctuary?” Nazir drew his blade.
“Silence, dear Brother,” you quickly say pulling down my scarf, “I entered here fairly. Seriously, Hongbin. Did you think I wouldn’t find you? We’re dragonborn. We stick together.”
His eyes narrow, “Just like how we did to find a way home or on your journey to Solstheim?”
“You had asked me if I wanted to go home. I did not. You were dead set on finding out if you could so I let you explore that instead of tagging along on another quest with me. There was a rising threat that had to be dealt with. With or without you and I had already made plans with the captain to leave. You never directly asked me to join you, so I didn’t want to drag you down.”
Hongbin stares at me before looking around at the faction.
“Don’t you all have contracts or work to take of?” He snaps. Everyone scrambles to get away. Nazir places a hand on Hongbin’s shoulder, not saying anything before heading down into the main hall.
“Let’s go to my room.”
He leads you down the hallways into the depths of the sanctuary. On your way, you almost run into a little girl with glowing eyes.
“What a lucky faction to have a vampire on their side,” you state, catching her off-guard.
“Wow, you realised it faster than any other member that’s joined.”
You smile, “I have a friend who’s a vampire. I also was one for a moment before I found a mage in Morthal that helped me change back into a human.”
She makes a face at that, “Why would you want to be human?”
You chuckle, “Because I don’t want Molaq Bal to have claim over my soul, but that’s just me.”
“Y/N,” Hongbin calls, standing in the doorway of his room.
Nodding at him in acknowledgement, you turn back to the girl, “We can talk later,..?”
“Babette, ma’am.”
“Talk to you later, Babette.”
As you entered the room, Hongbin closed the door behind you.
“So the last two years have not been kind to you,” you point out as you sit at the small table to the left and take in the room. It’s rather simple. A couple large bookshelves, a dresser, a mannequin and a chest in front of a double bed that’s raised on a stone platform with stairs leading up to it on each side.
“Is it that obvious?”
You give him a sad smile before sighing, “Look, I know neither of us asked for this, but Hongbin, I think it’s time that you accept that we’re a part of this world now.”
He sits across from you and doesn’t say anything for a while.
“I know you’re right. I never wanted to admit it. I didn’t want to give up hope of seeing my friends again. But…the last year kinda beat it into me. And then you were gone for so long. I did go back to the manor, but I could feel that you weren’t there. So I continued on. I found a lad in Windhelm, trying to summon the Brotherhood and accidentally accepted the contract. It’s been a wild ride from that point on.”
You reach across the table to grab his hand, stroking his knuckles with your thumb. He goes quiet again, eyes on your joined hands. After a moment of comfortable silence, he suddenly stands up.
“Well, I guess it’s time,” he declares as he saunters over to the dresser and opening the drawer, “I’m kinda glad one of my contracts had this on them so I didn’t have to buy it. Bit awkward to buy an amulet of Mara after killing a corrupt priest.”
Hongbin turns around, the amulet glistening from the torches’ light. You gasp, never expecting this from him.
“Are you..interested? In me, that is?” He gingerly asks.
You stand and make your way over to him, crashing your lips upon his.
“Yes. Since we first got here.”
He breathes a sigh of relief and kisses you again.
“You know we’re going to have to go to Riften to get married, right?”
“That I do,” he chuckles, “I also hear there’s a struggling faction down there.”
Normally when you went to the pond, there was no one to be seen. Not even any animals. It was almost as if the water had been poisoned. You had even asked your cousin about it, shocked when they had said that sirens frequent that pond. Apparently, there was a tunnel below the surface? In any case, it was the perfect spot to meditate and enjoy some peace and quiet, especially after a day of galloping through the woods.
~~~~
It had been a while since you had last came here, but damn did you need it. Your family had been pressuring you to find a suitor after your sister had gotten married last solstice and it didn’t help that she was now expecting a child here soon. You sighed as your hooves stepped into the water, finally washing off the caked on mud. The gold wrapped above your hooves glistened for the first time in a month. You couldn’t help but admire their new shine.
“Your jewellery is quite beautiful,” a soft baritone voice states.
You unsheathe your dagger as you spin to see a beautiful merman with wide ice blue eye and long blonde hair. His face reminded you of the pixies that fluttered about in the grove to the East. You don’t say anything so he continues, “I don’t mean you any harm, but if you could, would it be possible that you don’t tell anyone I’m here.”
“Why?” You ask as you pull your hooves from the water.
His head falls forward, “I needed a moment away from everything….I noticed you here a while ago, but I was nervous to say anything.”
“Is that so? But why should I trust you?”
His blue eyes bore into yours for a moment before he sighs, “Nothing I say will change your opinion, but I sincerely don’t intend to hurt anyone.”
You’re silent for a while, but this doesn’t bother the siren. He simply settles on a submerged rock a distance away and begins to pick at and inspect the grass.
“What is your name? I’m Jaehwan.”
You hesitate but your mouth answers for you, “Y/N.”
~~~~~~
Over the next few months, you and Jaehwan end up meeting at dusk. You couldn’t believe it, but every time you saw him, you found yourself falling in love with him. Just everything about him pulled you in; the way he smiled when you showed him artifacts of your people, his giggle, how his eyes sparkled in the evening sun.
One evening, the two of you finally address the elephant in the room.
“Why do you think that sirens and centaurs hate each other?” Jaehwan started.
“I don’t know about the species as a whole, but my uncle was drowned by a siren when I was a foal. Since then, my family has forbidden anyone from going close to deep water and attacked any siren that comes close to the surface.”
“Centaurs attacked us one day years ago during a trade agreement. We did nothing to initiate it. We lost quite a few good people that day. It is forbidden to go near the surface because of that day.”
You growl, “I bet it was my father. He’s twisted everyone towards his point of view. Honestly, I never got the ‘one killed one of us so they’re all bad’ mentality, but it makes me sick that he will kill sirens on sight.”
“I’m glad you’re different,” he says as he leans into your side.
~~~~~~~
It was the fourth month since meeting Jaehwan when things took a turn for the worse. Your father had learned of your nightly meetings with the siren. His fury knew no bounds and faster than you thought possible, you packed a small bag and high-tailed it from your home. You had to warn Jaehwan.
~~~~~~~
Jaehwan was there when you arrived, thankfully early.
He smiled widely, “Y/N.”
“Jaehwan, we have a problem,” you tried to catch you breath, “My dad found out.
His face fills with concern, “Then you’re saying we can no longer meet.”
Tears fill your eyes.
“I can’t let him hurt you.”
His cold hands reach for yours, “I know I haven’t said it and I don’t know how you feel, but I love you. And just like your family, my kind will have my head for this.”
“I love you, too. I will find a way for us to be together,” you squeeze his hands, “I know a couple witches in the forest. Perhaps they can help us.”
He pushes himself up to crash his lips upon yours. You swear you see tears as he pulls away, “Then until next time, my love,” is the last thing he says before sinking below the surface. You dared not stay any longer out of fear. As fast as you could, you turned to the North, running to witch’s hut.
A/N: There is a little gore in this chapter…so..uh.. fair warning (?)
~~~~~~
There was a familiarity to him, but you couldn’t place it. The prince’s dark, droopy eyes bore into yours as his advisor spun on Master Lee, “What is the meaning of this?! Were you hiding your servants from his Highness?”
Your master struggled to come up with an answer, but Sungjin, the sneaky devil was quick on his feet.
“She’s my fiancé,” he smirks, “I’m sure you can understand my desire to hide her.”
At that moment, the prince looked to his advisor.
“Minggyu,” his deep baritone reached your ears.
“Yes, you Highness?”
He turns to Minggyu, speaking in hushed tones before walking away. Minggyu turns back to Master Lee with regained composure, “The prince has chosen his bride. You shall be compensated for your service to the kingdom.”
The advisor quickly spun and made his way to you.
“Miss, if you will please follow me. Your transport is waiting for you.”
What.
He gestured to a palanquin right behind the prince’s much larger one.
WHAT?!
“Please Miss. I am not to touch you.”
That snapped you out of it. You walk right over to the palanquin and right as you were about to sit down when Master Lee ran over.
“Wait, you can’t do this!” He yells as he pushes past Minggyu, grabbing your arm harshly. He began to pull you out of the palanquin when suddenly the force wasn’t there. You fell back into the palanquin but the grip was still on your arm. That when you looked down…and screamed.
Master Lee’s hand was still holding onto you as the man wailed from the ground. MInggyu was quick to take the hand away and throw it in the dirt.
“You have touched a member of the royal family. Any compensation you were to receive is now what you are to pay back to the royal family. All of Silla will know of your family’s shame.”
The last thing you see is the raging face of Sungjin as the curtain closes and you’re lifted into the air.
Ken runs through the street with Ana not far behind, following the scream.
“What is this building?” He shouts as he skids to a stop.
“The hospital. Weren’t you here before?”
“I was a bit preoccupied that night,” he pauses, “We need to get to the basement. There’s people trapped.” With a quick nod, they race for the stairs. Sure enough, there was a group of zombies clambering over each other to break through a storage room door. What’s more noticeable is the smell of fresh human blood in the air. With a roar, Ken storms the hoard, dropping the bag to the floor, startling Ana before she joins in.
In no time they tear though the mass of zombies. Behind the door, they can hear whimpering and someone crying. With one to Ken, Ana breaks open the door with ease only to find three men curled up in the corner, the smell of blood pungent in the air.
“Ravi!? Hyuk!? Hongbin!?” Ken runs to their sides, hugging each of them, only to pause when he reached for the oldest of the three, “What are you guys doing here??”
“Looking for you!” Hyuk punched his arm.
“We overheard N-hyung’s call to the CEO. As soon as he said the city, we got on the earliest flight,” Hongbin pitches in, “Only when we arrived…”
“Those things were crawling about,” hisses Ravi, who was rather pale and was cradling his arm, “We ran here, but we barely managed to get into this room.”
Ana steps forth, “What happened to your arm?”
Ravi looks between the two before lowering his left arm. There was a good chunk bitten out of it as green veins were creep outwards. Blood oozed out, staining his shirt.
“Fuck,” Ken turns to Ana, “Can we do anything?
“I don’t know.”
“What about turning him? Would the venom be able to overcome a zombie’s?”
She stares at him before returning to look at the wound, “I don’t know. I was already a vampire when I was bitten. Maybe…”
“What the hell are you two talking about?” Snapped the youngest.
“Ana and I are vampires. Long story. Ravi?”
He stared at Ken, breathing heavily as pain shot through his body, and simply nods.
“I must warn you. This might hurt,” she says as she kneels down to grab his other arm.
“Can’t hurt more than this,” he wheezes.
She lightly chuckles before sinking her fangs into his flesh. Other than a yelp, he doesn’t react much. Ravi leans back against the wall, barely hanging on. Hyuk and Hongbin stare wide-eyed as they hide behind Ken. Ana pulls away to rip into her wrist. Ravi drinks deeply as soon as her blood touches his lips. A few minutes later, Ana pulls him away as gently leans him against the wall.
“How long do we have to wait?”
Ana shrugs, “I don’t know. Ken took overnight and I took half a year.”
Hyuk rolls his eyes, “Great, so we’re stuck here.”
“Not necessarily. Something’s telling me it won’t take long,” she stands, “Ken, stay here with him. Why don’t you two help me gather some stuff? We’ll be right back.”
The maknaes look uneasy at the idea of leaving their friend, let alone going anywhere with a vampire.
“Oh you’ll be fine, that is unless you want to be here when a new vampire wakes up.”
Hyuk and Hongbin rush to her side as she leaves the room. Cautiously, she leads them through the hallways, trying to concentrate on a specific scent. Sure enough, she found a storage room with blood and a good amount of bandages. As the guys got to work stocking up on the supplies, Ana focused on the refrigerator. Before taking any, she quickly slurped one down. Ana simply just takes all the bags she can. Why leave them to waste?
Hyuk steps in front of her, “What are you doing? The bag will be too heavy!”
She rolls her eyes, smirking, “Vampire.”
“Oh right..”
As she finished stuffing the bag, taking care to make sure nothing will break, a thud sounded in the distance. Everyone froze.
“He’s awake,” is all she says before speeding off. A minute later she returns, picking up the bag as she speaks, “He’s fine. The blood stopped the bite.”
Hyuk and Hongbin sigh in relief.
“But what now?” Hongbin’s head hangs low, “Where will we go?”
“You’re coming with us,” Ana urges them out of the room, tailing right behind, “We’re holed up in a hotel right now but we’re about to move out of the city.”
“Why out of the city?”
“Less population means less attacks and easier survival.”
Hongbin just nods before they make their way back.
When they arrived at the room, Ravi and Ken were there waiting, talking in hushed whispers.
“Trust me on this,” Ken placed a hand on the younger’s shoulder.
Ana raised an eyebrow in question.
“I’ll tell you later,” her boyfriend told her before grabbing the dropped bag from earlier, “We should get back. We’ve been gone a while.”
Along their journey, Ravi insisted that he carry the bag instead of Ana. With a roll of her eyes, she handed it over but not before saying that she owes him for the favour. He shrugs it off, “You saved my life. I’ll have to make it up to you for years to come.”
“Please don’t flirt with my girlfriend,” Ken joked as he playfully punched the younger in the arm. Right as they turned the corner, a shot rang out as Ana collapsed to the ground.
When you’re sent back to in time to early Silla, you thought that you would be stuck as a servant for an arrogant noble and his family. Then on the year anniversary, a caller from one of the prince’s comes to announce the search for a bride.
A year ago. At least that’s how long you thought it was. In any case, you had been stuck here for too damn long. All you wanted was to visit Seoul, see the sites and just enjoy a well deserved vacation, but life had other plans. So here you were, the “exotic” servant of a small village’s head noble in Silla. The only good thing about this was that your Korean skills had vastly improved. As for the family that ‘took you in’, well..simply put.. they were exactly like the rich kids at school that thought they had everything and were the shit. Master Lee was arrogant and ruled his estate with an iron fist. His wife was pregnant and has threatened you on multiple occasions for getting too close to her. She didn’t want her baby be exposed to your ‘foreignness’, treating you more like a disease than anything else. But their son. Gods their son was the worst. Sungjin would constantly harass the servants and has tried to force himself upon you several times. Gets himself a black eye almost every time.
As you went about your chores that morning, you overhear the arrival of a royal messenger. Since this was nothing new or special so you continued going about the laundry.
“All female servants to the courtyard,” Miss Song called as she walked the ground.
“What’s going on?” You whisper to Somin.
She just shrugs before your attention is drawn front. Master Lee stood tall on the small porch to the hanok.
“The king and queen have announced that they are looking for a bride for the prince. What is shocking is that every woman of the kingdom of Silla is being considered. When that day comes, all of you are to be hidden. Is that understood?”
“Yes Sir!” You all call.
~~~~~~
A Month Later:
You could hear the bells as you were huddled next to Somin. A group of you were shoved into one of the smaller buildings on the estate. You were miffed about this, but the punishment wasn’t worth it. Apparently your bladder had other plans.
“Somin, I need to go,” you shift uncomfortably, “I’ll be quick.”
“Y/N don’t! You know what Master Lee will do if he catches you!”
You sigh, “I know but I can’t hold it any longer.”
You sneak out the back door, mindful that nobody saw you. However, it was after that you should have been more careful. Right as you approached the laundry building, a voice called out, “FOUND ONE SIR!”
You freeze as the soldier ran to grab you arm, dragging you out to the open. Your eyes meet Master Lee’s before settling on the man towering over him. The prince.
~~~~~~~
A/N: So this originally was going to be Lay, but it wasn’t working out for what I had planned. Hope you liked it
Oh good. He’s here. You land next to the black cat that’s relaxing on a branch.
‘Where did you go today?’ He asks. You were thankful that your master had gifted you telepathy after meeting her now girlfriend. That’s when you met him. The black cat was laying in the sun when you two arrived to trade with the rumoured witch that lived in the woods. They clicked right away, getting so animated you had to move. As soon as you landed on the ground, Leo had bounded right over to you, sniffing you with great interest before rubbing himself all over you. Beyond that, you would just sit next to each other, waiting for you master to finish her business.
Leo was normally just happy to lay around, sometimes annoying his master by knocking things over as he walked along the shelves in the cabin. However, she seemed to be at her wit’s end so he was stuck outside most of the time. This had been concerning to you at first, but after a quick reassurance that the witch had placed a protection spell on him, you were okay with this. In fact, that gave you two more time to get to know each other. So for that month, you would swoop in and you two would explore the forest together.
‘Beyond the forest. The human village is a peculiar place at look at,’ you say as you adjusted your feathers.
‘You’re always curious about humans. Why haven’t you asked your master to transform you for a bit? It’s not that bad.’
Sometimes you get to see him as a human since his master requires his help in carrying things to the market. But still, you’ve never been a human. The very idea tended to frighten you. You’re master didn’t specialise in spells. She worked mainly with potions.
‘Well, I was also trying to help Master find something. Let’s get closer.’
You were excited. Your master had finally managed to find the perfect ring and right as you land on the windowsill, you see your master being tackled with a hug.
‘What’s happening?!’ His voice is panicked as he cries while pawing at the door.
‘They’re having alone time. Come on,’ You fly off with him yet again not far behind.
~~~~
Two Hours Laters:
“You know, I’ve always been curious but have never been able to do it. I want to see Y/N as a human,” your master says over a glass of champagne.
“Oh really?” Her fiancé asks, “It’s not that hard. Also, since she’s a familiar, it’s a little easier.”
With a wave of her hand, a weird shiver runs through you body. You flap your wings shake it, but suddenly you couldn’t get any air. Your eye line was high, but you were still on the ground.
‘Y/N, how do you like being human?’
You feel your eyes widen, moving your wings, now arms, in front of you. Your hands move as you feel the digits moving before running them all over your body.
“You too, Leo,” his master calls.
Right as you turn to face him, your eyes find his human ones. Oh.He looks different with these eyes. You could see every detail, even the small mole under his right eye. Is this really how humans see everything?? Maybe being human isn’t that bad after all.
You had gotten desperate. Your friend had managed to get a ticket for the upcoming VIXX concert but you couldn’t. Ever since you took a gap year from college, you’ve had nothing but bad luck. But a couple weeks ago, your mom had mentioned that your grandpa was interested in demonology back in the day and that a box of his stuff was in the attic. Curious, you took it upon yourself to do some digging while everyone was gone for the afternoon. You moved a bunch of boxes out of your way when you finally find it hidden in the corner. Going through the box, you find a thick book at the bottom.
“Y/N?” Your mom yelled from downstairs.
“Coming mom!”
~~~~~
After your parents turned in for the night, you begin to flip through the book. It was the usual doom and gloom that you expected but half-way through, it started going into how to summon actual demons. Biting your lip, you flipped passed the incubi, familiars, named demons to a demon of fate. All you needed was a black candle, a salt circle and a drop of blood. That…is a lot less than you were expecting. You bookmark the page and put the book under your bed. With your parents going out of town this weekend, your plans were set.
~~~~~
Saturday night and you were going back and forth. Were you really going to do this? The candle was lit. The circle was set. You had the needle in hand but was it worth it?
With a bracing deep breath, you pricked your finger. Yes. Yes it was.
As soon as your drop of blood hit the floor in the circle, you stumbled backwards as dark smoke swirled up into a man. Not just any man. It was Sanghyuk.
“What the—“
“How may I be of service?” He asks. His voice is the same but there is an echo to it, not of this earth.
“This isn’t happening.”
“Well, you did summon me, so I can assure you that this is very much happening.”
You begin to pace, frantically running your hands through your hair, “I know that, but I wasn’t expecting it to be you of all people.”
He raises an eyebrow at that, “You know me?” Hyuk then looks around the room, noticing the VIXX poster and the few albums on your bookshelf, “Ohh..I see. You’re a Starlight?”
You nod. He shuffles his feet, his suave exterior crumbling as he bites his lip. He turns away from you, mumbling to himself, “I’ve never run into this before,” Sanghyuk looks back at you, “I guess you know this part of me now. In any case, how can I be of service?”
“Well I was going to ask for a ticket to a concert, but now I don’t know.”
“VIXX’s concert?”
Shyly, you nod. He ponders for a moment, like he’s debating something. Then he nods to himself.
“For you, that would cost nothing at all,” he walks to edge of the ring, his dark eyes boring into yours. With a smirk, he extends a hand to you, “Well, do we have a deal?”
