#vulnerabilityisstrength

day 447 : let me tell you about how joltingly honored i am to have been included in this first-ever women’s empowerment and powerlifting event benefitting an organization near and dear to my heart, @smartfitgirls.
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feeling the boom of #intersectionalfeminism and meeting some of the most powerful, badass, and confident women i have ever encountered has been beyond humbling.
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i’ve been sick with worry the past few months thinking, how am i supposed to get in front of people and talk about this injury and my life. i’m in a dark place, paralysis is heavy, and what do i currently have to offer to help anyone.
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but, as i’ve made #vulnerability my commitment, i went up there, spoke my truth, and didn’t fall on the stage
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my soul is bursting with magic at seeing how amazing this event was and how impactful coming together to truly support one another can be.
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@chrissy_chard and @smartfitgirls, thank you for letting me be a part of this revolution, and let this be my insta-official notice that i WILL be powerlifting at this event next year. even if i can only crush the 15-pound bar!
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to every person i’ve met this weekend - i am grateful to know you and have heard your story. thanks for sharing your good juju with me.
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#uniteforstrength
#womenempowerment
#strongishappy
#thefutureisinclusive
#thefutureisaccessible
#spinalcordinjuryrecovery
#sci
#wheelchairlife
#wheelie
#thecomebackisgreaterthanthesetback
#exerciseismedicine
#moveyourbody
#vulnerabilityisstrength
#healingisnotlinear
#ambulatorywheelchairusersexist
https://www.instagram.com/p/BoC-LzThXZe/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1p3g4zosf5lwp

day 430 : didn’t think i’d be going under the knife again so soon.
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having minor surgery done to my left knee where i’m missing a chunk of cartilage. it’s making my recovery very difficult because i’ve got bone on bone popping every time my knee flexes and extends.
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feeling eh about all of this because i know it’s going to set me back a bit for a small while, but i just want them to FIX IT. i have paralysis to attend to. #fixitnow
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#rebuild
#spinalcordinjury
#scirecovery
#learningtowalkagain
#notimeforparalysis
#whatparalysis
#notalldisabilitiesarevisible
#paraplegiclife
#incompleteparaplegic
#thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback
#brokenbody
#bionicbadass
#lifeaftersci
#nothingisofflimits
#exerciseismedicine
#moveyourbody
#takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou
#liveyourbestlife
#craighospital
#chickswithsticks
#keeponkeepinon
#neverstopplaying
#justgottagetthroughit
#vulnerabilityisstrength
#disabledandcute
https://www.instagram.com/p/BnWFkUNhB-h/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1uly371caafmy

day 414 : missing my body a little bit (ok, a lotta bit) today.
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return to work has been more difficult than i’ve given it space for. been go go go the past few weeks without really processing how i feel about it.
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working at a college recreation center means you’re surrounded by fit and capable bodies that like to move and play and exert massive amounts of effort. and i’m reminded every moment that i don’t recognize or trust this new body. i try to be present and positive, but spinal cord injury is like a snapchat filter that never turns off and has dampened my flame a bit. sorry if i’ve been a downer lately (and i know i shouldn’t be apologizing for it, but still)
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anyway. it’s not all darkness inside of me these days. my burpee is getting stronger every time i try it, and our brand new fitness facility inspired me to get on my head again. i guess bionic spine still works the same upside down.
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#rebuild
#spinalcordinjury
#scirecovery
#learningtowalkagain
#notimeforparalysis
#whatparalysis
#notalldisabilitiesarevisible
#paraplegiclife
#incompleteparaplegic
#thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback
#brokenbody
#bionicbadass
#lifeaftersci
#nothingisofflimits
#exerciseismedicine
#moveyourbody
#takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou
#liveyourbestlife
#craighospital
#chickswithsticks
#keeponkeepinon
#neverstopplaying
#justgottagetthroughit
#vulnerabilityisstrength
#disabledandcute (at Clemson University)

day 413 : oh hey everybody, i went to florida last weekend
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learning to walk on a moving boat for the second time in my life.
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thanks mom & dad for boat life that i am so grateful for it was one of the things that ran through my head most while using a wheelchair because i didn’t know how i was going to make it happen. it’s a struggle to get around now, but getting easier each time.
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#rebuild
#spinalcordinjury
#scirecovery
#learningtowalkagain
#notimeforparalysis
#whatparalysis
#notalldisabilitiesarevisible
#paraplegiclife
#incompleteparaplegic
#thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback
#brokenbody
#bionicbadass
#lifeaftersci
#nothingisofflimits
#exerciseismedicine
#moveyourbody
#takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou
#liveyourbestlife
#craighospital
#keeponkeepinon
#neverstopplaying
#justgottagetthroughit
#vulnerabilityisstrength
#disabledandcute

day 404 : it’s not if you fall, it’s when you fall right?
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i fell at work. lol. good thing i work at a gym and my co-workers are beasts. @jenlynnrod you the real bionic mvp today.
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#rebuild
#spinalcordinjury
#scirecovery
#learningtowalkagain
#notimeforparalysis
#whatparalysis
#notalldisabilitiesarevisible
#paraplegiclife
#incompleteparaplegic
#thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback
#brokenbody
#bionicbadass
#lifeaftersci
#nothingisofflimits
#exerciseismedicine
#moveyourbody
#takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou
#liveyourbestlife
#craighospital
#chickswithsticks
#keeponkeepinon
#neverstopplaying
#justgottagetthroughit
#vulnerabilityisstrength
#disabledandcute

day 395 : this day has been a long time coming!
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i remember being in the hospital and asking how long people tend to wait to return to work after spinal cord injury. shocker, everyone’s different, but they told me that some people wait 2 years. i literally couldn’t believe it and could not even imagine taking 6 months off.
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13 months later, to the day, i’m finally back. and i felt like i needed every moment of each of those months before being alright to return. the mental struggle has been real, and most times harder than the physical. but i finally feel well enough to continue doing my life’s passion.
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my office has been so incredibly supportive of me this past year, and i’m very grateful that they worked with me to get a more accessible office location, sit/stand desk, and a swivel chair with a lock on it. because those things are scary af.
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super extra shout out to @vickicroberts for wearing your headbands & hightops shirt for my return and setting up my office so i wouldn’t want to crawl into a hole and hide after not touching these things for a year
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from the bottom of my heart, #fikefam thanks for being so supportive this past year. i’m ready to keep making you proud of me!
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#rebuild
#spinalcordinjury
#scirecovery
#learningtowalkagain
#notimeforparalysis
#whatparalysis
#notalldisabilitiesarevisible
#paraplegiclife
#incompleteparaplegic
#thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback
#brokenbody
#bionicbadass
#lifeaftersci
#nothingisofflimits
#exerciseismedicine
#moveyourbody
#takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou
#liveyourbestlife
#craighospital
#chickswithsticks
#keeponkeepinon
#neverstopplaying
#justgottagetthroughit
#vulnerabilityisstrength
#disabledandcute (at Clemson University)

day 394 : here’s a compilation of some things i’ve been working on lately
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any decent health professional would probably be concerned with me doing most of these things right now. Yolo, right?
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vid 1️⃣ recap : psyching myself up to do what i’m about to do, my attempt at a jog because i have this overwhelming urge to run, little foot shuffle, mini squats, backwards monster walks, the best squats i’ve done in a year+, scaring the heck out of a pup while trying to jump without having something to grab if i fall, and my second day trying to do a modified burpee. [spoiler: i messed it up right away and don’t know how to hide my embarrassment]
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vid 2️⃣ recap : massive struggles trying to fix myself, just giving up and showing you how i stand up now, and a real attempt at another burpee [i fell again lol], struggling, compensating, and YAY I FINALLY DID IT! #burpeesforever
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#thegrindneverstops
#bettereveryday
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#rebuild
#spinalcordinjury
#scirecovery
#learningtowalkagain
#notimeforparalysis
#whatparalysis
#notalldisabilitiesarevisible
#paraplegiclife
#incompleteparaplegic
#thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback
#brokenbody
#bionicbadass
#lifeaftersci
#nothingisofflimits
#exerciseismedicine
#moveyourbody
#takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou
#liveyourbestlife
#craighospital
#chickswithsticks
#keeponkeepinon
#neverstopplaying
#justgottagetthroughit
#vulnerabilityisstrength
#disabledandcute

day 380 : soft blades of grass and beads of dew will forever be etched in my memory of physical feels.
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i finally did it. i’ve been talking about attending a live yoga class for an incredibly long time. once again, mental blockage preventing me from going through with it.
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a surprise encounter with an old student and soul sister this past weekend was just the i needed.
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i love being outside and botanical gardens are my favorite. it was such a beautifully overcast morning and it was just what my body and soul needed.
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these past few days have just been comedic (in the twilight zone sort of way). my favorite thing about yoga is being able to cut the crap out for a bit and bliss out by appreciating the heck out of the power and magic that make up our bodies. this was that for me today
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#paralyzedyogi
#rebuild
#spinalcordinjury
#scirecovery
#learningtowalkagain
#notimeforparalysis
#whatparalysis
#notalldisabilitiesarevisible
#paraplegiclife
#incompleteparaplegic
#thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback
#brokenbody
#bionicbadass
#lifeaftersci
#nothingisofflimits
#exerciseismedicine
#moveyourbody
#takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou
#liveyourbestlife
#craighospital
#chickswithsticks
#keeponkeepinon
#neverstopplaying
#justgottagetthroughit
#vulnerabilityisstrength (at South Carolina Botanical Garden)

day 374 : someone made this cake for me a year ago today.
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#timehop has been simultaneously a bright light and a pot-stirrer the last 10 or so days. going through the pictures and feelings of those first few days has contributed to my #ptsd flaring up and a ton of “oh shit” moments that i haven’t had in a while.
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nevertheless, what’s written on this cake could not be more true. regardless of how difficult this road has been, i wouldn’t trade it for ANYTHING.
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#rebuild
#spinalcordinjury
#scirecovery
#learningtowalkagain
#notimeforparalysis
#whatparalysis
#notalldisabilitiesarevisible
#paraplegiclife
#incompleteparaplegic
#thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback
#brokenbody
#bionicbadass
#lifeaftersci
#nothingisofflimits
#exerciseismedicine
#moveyourbody
#takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou
#liveyourbestlife
#craighospital
#chickswithsticks
#keeponkeepinon
#neverstopplaying
#justgottagetthroughit
#vulnerabilityisstrength