#all creatures great and small

Tristan: Why does everybody always assume James has a plan? Maybe someone else has a plan.

Helen: Good, go ahead.

Tristan: Oh, that was just hypothetically.

Mrs Hall : Why are you mad?

Siegfried: I don’t know.

Mrs Hall: So for no reason?

Siegfried: Oh no, there’s plenty of reasons I just don’t know which one it is right now.

Helen: How long are we going to stand here and watch him do that?

James: Just… Give him a minute.

Tristan:*desperately trying to push open a door that clearly says pull*

Tristan: Good morning. I have already made one bad decision and I show no signs of stopping.

James and Tristan: We have a problem.

Siegfried:No,YOU have a problem. I have two idiots who keeps making them.

Tristan: Admit it. You like Mrs H.

Siegfried: That’s preposterous.

Siegfried: I mean, am I attracted to her? Sure. Do my days feel better when I’m around her? Yes. Does she get me in ways no person ever has? Definetely. But do I like her? What kind of question is that? Have you lost your mind?!!!

Siegfried: You do seven things a day that I ask you not to.

Tristan: Actually, I do more. You just catch seven.

Mrs Hall: I love knitting needles. I can make a scarf. I can make a hat. I can stab you. I can make mittens.

Siegfried: What was that middle part?

Mrs Hall: I can make a hat.

Helen: I think Siegfried is a little upset with you.

Tristan:Defineupset.

Helen: He told me to give you this note.

Tristan, reading the note outloud: “Tristan, I hope this note finds you before I do”.

Mrs Hall: You have to apologise to them.

Siegfried: Fine! But I’m warning you, if I apologise I might become a nice person! And that’s not who you fell in love with!

Mrs Hall: … what?

Mrs Hall: Someone’s coming. Someone you don’t like.

Siegfried: That could be literally anyone.

Tristan to Mrs Hall: So, what do we do?

Siegfried: Why are you asking her?

Tristan: Because she’s in charge.

Siegfried: Says who?

Tristan, James and Helen: Says us!

Siegfried: … right.

Tristan: I’m sorry.

Mrs Hall: For what?

Tristan,backing away slowly: You’ll find out…

Tristan: Would you say that you’re independent?

Siegfried:*looks at Audrey*

Audrey:*nods*

Siegfried: Yes, I’d say so.

Siegfried: *chokes on something*

Tristan : Please, big brother, don’t die on us.

Siegfried : Don’t tell me what to do, I’ll die whenever the hell I want!

Mrs Hall: You know those moments when I tell you that something isn’t a good idea-

Siegfried and Tristan: And then we ignore you, yeah.

James: You need a hobby.

Tristan: I have a hobby.

Helen: Staring creepily at Maggie from afar isn’t a hobby.

Siegfried: *does something stupid and gets himself hurt*

Audrey: After I lovingly nurse you back to health, I’m going to kill you.