classicsagainsthumanity:

Classics Against Humanity (White Card)

[Fragment, untranslatable]

sive mutata iuvenem figura ales in terris imitaris, almae filius Maiae, patiens vocari Caesaris ultor. Serus in caelum redeas diuque laetus intersis populo Quirini, neve te nostris vitiis iniquum ocior aura tollat; hic magnos potius triumphos, hic ames dici pater atque princeps, neu sinas Medos equitare inultos te duce, Caesar.

“Or having changed shape, do you winged one, son of nourishing Maia, imitate the young man on earth, called the unyielding avenger of Caesar? May you return to heaven at a late hour and be present for a long while with the people of Romulus, and may no swifter breeze take you, injured by our crimes. Here are rather great triumphs, here may you love to be pronounced father and first citizen, and, with you as general, not allow the unpunished Medes to ride, Caesar!” – Horace Odes1.2.41-52

Remember the time that Horace wrote that Octavian is really just Mercury in disguise??

iam nunc algentes autumnus fecerat umbras atque hiemem tepidis spectabat Phoebus habenis, iam platanus iactare comas, iam coeperat uvas adnumerare suas defecto palmite vitis: ante oculos stabat quidquid promiserat annus.

“Already now autumn had produced cold shades and Phoebus was looking toward winter with cooled reins, already the plane tree had begun to cast down its foliage, already the vine, having lost her youth, had begun to count out her grapes: everything the year had promised was standing before our eyes.”

Poem II, attributed to Petronius