#april rambles
Had an eventful day: we were scheduled to have our power turned off (lines physically disconnected from our house and our neighbors’ house) so we could start taking the branches off a tree that had grown around said powerlines. Things were going okay until they weren’t: J got his leg bruised and scraped by a falling branch, and in the process of using heavy duty pruners to cut long branches shorter, I went for a branch that was too thick and sprained my left arm so I can’t supinate/pronate without pain.
After that dose of fun, another branch fell past our safeguards and pulled the internet cable out and snapped it. (We couldn’t coordinate both energy/internet service providers to disconnect us on the same day/same time.) So even though our power was restored as planned in a timely manner, we can’t get our internet reconnected until Wednesday night. Woops. I’m using mobile now when I should be saving it.
My first worry (aside from our injuries, we will be fine) was that I might have to log in again for photoshop cc to work. I’m pleased to say that wasn’t the case.
Long story short: we are dumb, and reaping the rewards of our dumb! And we didn’t even get to fully dismantle the tree as planned.
When you’ve gotten to a lot of unpleasantries you’ve been procrastinating and someone asks “do you feel better, now that it’s done?”
No. Not really. Thanks, crippling depression I hate you.
Taxes and the associated technical troubles this year left a particularly nasty taste in my mouth. I’ll never learn.
Time to find something nice in an attempt to kick brain chemistry into functioning.
Think it’s been years since I’ve done one of these!
tagged by @elektroyu
suggestion: tag 9 people you’re interested in getting to know better
favourite color: All time fave(s)? Turquoise. Copper. Also very partial to oranges and yellows and select shades of green.
currently reading: “Why Evolution Is True” by Jerry Coyne. I regrettably don’t read a lot these days, but I blame time management and my choice of hobbies.
last song: An endless blur of Cocteau Twins these days, but I’m terribly partial to “Serpentskirt” lately.
last series: Potentially too many answers because I watch series in bits and pieces. But as far as recently finished, “Killing Eve.”
last movie: In terms of which movie I put on myself to watch? Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind.
sweet/spicy/savory: Savory (I’m a sucker for salt), and spice is always nice. I’m pickiest about sweet flavors; it’d better be fruit-flavored.
currently working on: Still polishing that last bald eagle piece up, getting the garden slowly up and running, and trying to be a better me. But mostly I’m asleep all the time now.
I’m too insecure to tag people, so heh… yeah!
Well, the vacation was a bust: despite negative covid tests before departure, we were informed a whole 12 hours after our arrival that a family member of J’s that he had contact with one day prior tested positive for covid. So we packed up and headed back home to minimize risk since we weren’t going to be alone. Both of us were thoroughly bummed. We spent the time off at home. Both of us feel fine (aside from the allergies and me dealing with some mild depression med side effects) and tested negative again today.
I feel robbed, but… I did get more work done on the eagles. Even though I turned into a potato for two whole days. And I made some surprising progress on the yard from hell/garden as well, before transforming back into a potato.
Things could be worse, but… disappointed. Oh well.
Had an extremely eventful day: had a phone appointment with psychiatrist (finally!), was given a prescription for medication to manage my raging depression (at last!), made follow up appointment, and filled prescription with minimal event. While I was making the follow-up appointment, I inquired about their ADHD screening/diagnostic services and they put me down for the earliest appointment, in December. I don’t even mind. I’m just happy to finally be doing something about this.
I don’t know what other issues (if any?) may be lurking under the cloak of dark that is depression, but I’ve fought with this my entire life. I desperately want to know who I am without it, and hope that this medication can finally help me begin managing it!
I’m very anxious and overwhelmed for a bunch of reasons, so of all things to post, I post ferns. Which as houseplants, are the epitome of anxiety. Or so I’m told.
Featuring my collection, minus one crocodile fern (mildly sunburned but fine): Staghorn fern, Japanese shield fern, rabbit’s foot fern, and delta maidenhair. Oddly enough, the rabbits foot is the most likely fern to communicate annoyance, and I think that’s due to me forgetting about it since they’re fairly tough. Also it’s sitting where I can’t immediately see it. (The mug was broken but found new life as a pot once I drilled a drain hole into it!)
The maidenhair has been with me for over a month and a half now and seems weirdly content, so long as I check in with it each day. Watching the new fronds come in has been so satisfying. Aside from watering regularly with fish tank water and good light, these babies get no special treatment. They all live within a foot of west facing windows, which is perfect for winter/spring/fall growing, and they get monitored in summer to make sure they don’t burn: they can easily be moved to less direct light should they become unhappy. Most fern problems seem to stem from poor lighting and improper watering related to said lighting. Then again, I’m no expert.
I do not know what I will do when/if Hector the staghorn reaches massive size. I guess the room will then belong to him! He’s grown so much since I got him a year ago.
I guess I’m happy to find these ferns are tougher than I was lead to believe. Which makes sense, considering I have native ferns in my landscaping (and want so many more!!!)
I’ve tagged the rabbits foot fern with arachnophobia since I’ve seen people get grossed out by their fuzzy rhizomes. I love them, it’s part of the appeal for me!
Oops!
I’d been meaning to cut my own hair off for at least 6 months now (it grows stupid fast as far as I can tell) and I went with a tried and true method, but… somehow managed to take off WAY too much. The original intent was to have a wee ponytail, which usually means somewhere around shoulder length. What ended up happening was hair just below my jaw. Heh.
J helped level it off, since I can’t do shit with the back of my head even during the best of times. Neither of us knows how hair works. The words “I’m gonna have to do some layering” were enough to bring me near panic, as I have the world’s worst extra-fine textured mostly straight sad white girl hair there is. What’s done is done! Though I’m sure I’ll do some trimming as time goes on.
I did get a good laugh at him trying to photograph the back of my head to show me and saying “why doesn’t the photo look right AT ALL?” Dude, welcome to my world, my whole self seemingly can’t be photographed properly. (All these years I thought that was my imagination, which is why I generally do not do photos.)
I just cannot do long hair anymore, but I’m too stubborn/out of the loop to have my hair managed by professionals. After all, what the hell does it matter? It’s going under a bike helmet or hat, anyway.
Downside to short hair: I forgot that it makes all my grey hairs even more wild and whacky than they were.
I won’t lie, my mental health has deteriorated to a rather crippling stage these last few months. All current work and projects had eroded my energy levels to rock bottom and my mood has reflected that.
I woke up early this morning, sleep deprived and in a rough mood, had a series of small mishaps, pulled myself together to begin my 14 mile bike commute aaaaaand… immediately ran over a small metal spring in the road that ripped through my back tire, more than a mile from home. And that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I walked my bike back home and got back into bed, after calling in for a mental health day (my boss gets it, thankfully).
Eventually I was able to compose myself and made efforts (with J’s help) to find productive things I could do. So I took the bike into another bike shop to fix the flat, and asked if they could solve one other nagging issue, a skipping chain. Dude was awesome, fixed my flat on the spot, confirmed my suspicions on the other issue and installed a brand new cassette, all while we had a good bike chat. Thankfully this solved my biggest problems and I gave it a test spin to make sure, ending up at an old haunt by the river. I watched warblers, mining bees, and a man walking his cat on a leash. I tried thinking happier thoughts.
It’s true, a lot of things in my life are still broken (both physically and emotionally) but some things are okay, good even. The cat (Zelda), who had been sick for a month and a half and on antibiotics, is finally appearing to be fully recovered. I have Hoyas blooming. I saw the first dragonfly of the season. And I’ve finally bitten the bullet to have a first session with a psychiatrist at the end of the month. I just have to keep making it somehow, even if I need help every day to do it.
Anyway, long post, but thanks for sticking around!
