Fern has been my biggest supporter on tumblr - they read and comment on like everything I do and I wanted to thank them for being so sweet all the time <3
<on third coffee> so yeah the lightsaber belonged to anakin and then luke so it was really fighting itself if you think about it <furiously photoshops> <I’M BEING TORN APART> <I WANT TO BE FREE OF THIS PAIN>
Kylo had felt, felt, the life force of his father leaving Han’s body. Could practically see the light dimming from his eyes. Han had trusted him. Had earnestly believed, after everything, that when Kylo said he needed help, that it wasn’t a trick. And it wasn’t supposed to be. When the son offered the father his weapon, it had been in earnest. Until it wasn’t.
All it took was the press of a button. And then Han’s Light was extinguished.
When Kylo said thank you, he meant it.
And indeed, his spirit was in two. Of Kylo Ren and Ben Solo.
He was dreaming. He had to be.
“This is from the Force,” Kylo assured himself. He himself replied-
Or rather, Ben did-
“So what if it is?”
“Then it isn’t real.”
“Or maybe then it’s even more real that way.”
There were two of him. Kylo Ren in his garb of the First Order. And Ben. Ben Solo, wearing the outfit of a smuggler. His father’s jacket. In their peripheral was nothing.
“This is some kind of sick joke,” Kylo spat, staring at the version of himself that never crystalized.
“If you want to call yourself a sick joke, then yeah, definitely”
Kylo extended his red saber then, finding in no time at all that Ben’s reflexes matched his own. Blue raised right back at him.
Kylo encircled his other self. “I killed Ben Solo,” Ren affirmed. “He’s dead.”
“Dead like his father?”
“Shut up.”
“Why’d you do it?” Ben stared into his soul. “You didn’t want to.”
“Of course I did,” Kylo raged, “He was weak and foolish. He made me weak and foolish. I had to kill it.”
“Yeah, and how did that work out for you?”
“I’ve - I’ve never been stronger.”
“Mhm. Sure seems like it.”
And so Kylo lashed out against the sarcasm, striking heavily with his crossed saber. Ben defended, though was definitely stepping backwards from the onslaught. After one bashing after the other, Kylo spat,
“See?! Even you can’t hold me back. I’ll destroy you. I’ll destroy you again and again until you’re truly gone, until you never rise back up in my-”
Then Ben tripped him.
Literally just tripped him.
With Ren lurching forward, seeing red, all Ben had to do was sidestep and hold out his leg for Kylo motherfucking Ren to fucking faceplant.
Ben held his blue to the back of Kylo’s neck.
“Wow yeah, I’m super impressed. Can you teach me?”
Kylo roared. A push of the Force sent Ben flying back. Ren then readjusted his attack. He’d been too aggressive; he needed more strategy. Couldn’t let the anger get to his head. He needed to fuel his strength through the Dark Side, but at the same time not lose his grip.
Ben deftly turned from the inertia of the blast, landing gracefully on his feet, even chuckling a bit. He thought this was funny?
“For all your accusations,” Kylo wormed, “for you to make me feel like shit - sure seems like you don’t feel so bad in all this.”
“Well, why should I feel guilty? I didn’t do it. That’s your weight to bear.”
“Wow, what a Light Side thing to say,” Kylo’s acid dripped from his chin.
And then Ben’s blue steadily lowered to the ground. His bright eyes lost their luster. And suddenly he wasn’t a thirty-year-old in thief clothes anymore. Suddenly he was some 15 year old kid with ears too big for his head in an ill-fitting Jedi robe.
“I miss Dad,” Solo’s voice croaked from pubescence.
Kylo wretched. He felt like he was going to puke. He was both so angry and so disgusted, and he was going to hurl.
“I’ve missed him every day since they sent me away.” The teenager looked like he was on the fucking verge of tears. Kylo couldn’t have that.
“Fuck you and your dirty tricks,” Kylo screeched. “I don’t miss him. I don’t need him. I don’t need anyone.”
“You don’t need me?”
That cadence. That sound. Kylo spun around. What the hell. It was her. Why was. Why was she here in his head?
“I’ve always been here,” Rey answered, as if she could hear his private contemplations. She looked fresh from Starkiller Base. Rey even had Luke’s lightsaber with her. “Ready to go, Ben?” she said.
“Yeah, sure thing.”
Kylo whipped back around. The sorry excuse for a Padawan was no where to be found. In his place was an adult again, but different this time. Ben was back, though now in the fine clothes of a Senator.
“Ready, my love? My queen.”
In turning attention back to Rey, she appeared in royal makeup and a dress unlike any he had ever seen. The classic red stripe down her lip caught his attention.
Ben walked right passed him, towards her. They aimed to leave.
“WAIT!” Kylo screamed.
When they looked back at him, their appearance morphed yet again. Now they were in Jedi robes only meant for masters. Only meant for those that led in the grand council.
“Rey,” Kylo’s voice screeched. “You don’t… He’s not for you. He can’t help you. Not like I can.”
He blinked again. And now a girl in dark robes took her place. Her eyes seemed blacker. And now she held a saber of her own that crackled in red fury.
“This,” Kylo gasped, “Don’t you know this is what could be?”
Before them was an army. A people. A nation. Beside him she sat on her own throne. Kylo dressed like a king of the night, and she was his empress.
“We could have this,” he kissed her hand. “My doings pushed you out of Jakku. It brought you to me. And I could give you even more.” His eyes razed her.
But yet again there was another change. No more was he speaking to his Dark Side apprentice, lover, ruler. He was speaking to a girl in everyday clothing. The switch to the casual nature surprised him. Rey answered,
“But that isn’t what I want.”
A small child scurried by Kylo’s legs. And then another. A boy and a girl chasing each other, their singsong laughter filling his ears.
“Heyyy!” Ben laughed with him. He wore dirty clothes like that of a farmer. He had blue stains from all the milking he’d just finished. He scooped up the little girl in his arms - “Is someone not doing their chores like they were so politely told?”
“But Daaaad, I don’t want to!”
“Nobody wants to, Leia.”
“Leia?” Kylo gasped. Had that been what they named their daughter?
“You too, Anakin,” Rey scolded. The little boy rolled his eyes.
Kylo broke.
“I… I can’t.”
Rey the ship mechanic replied to him: “Yes you can.”
“I can’t.”
“Yes you can,” replied Ben the calligrapher.
“I can’t,” Kylo yet again replied. Tears began welling at his lids.
“Yes, you can,” replied Leia the daughter.
“No…,” the tears fell. He dropped his saber. It clanked to the ground.
“Yes… you… can,” replied Anakin the son.
And Kylo wept.
He completely crumbled to the floor. The First Order outwear fell away to a simple black sweater and pants.
“I’ve done too much,” Kylo cried between sobs. “Especially after Han. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.”
And Ben came to him. And Rey came to him. And Leia, his mother. And Akakin, his grandfather.
And Han, his father.
“We just want our son back,” his mother said. “Please. Come home.”
And Kylo woke up.
If he had lost it in the Force dream before, then he was utterly gone in reality.
And a panic struck in him. He knew that he knew. That Snoke knew. Snoke had seen it all. There was no convincing his master after his. His spirit had been split to the bone.
And now it rejoined.
Ben Solo rose from the loneliness of his bed. He rose as one of the last Skywalkers. He rose as a being of the Light. Of the sun. A Jedi. No Sith to be found.
And he was ready.
When he summoned his lightsaber from his bedside, he didn’t even take a double glance at its new color.
He didn’t even have to think about what to do next. When the moment came, he didn’t hesitate.
Whether it was Stormtroopers, the Knights of Ren, Hux, or even Snoke himself. Nothing stood in his way. Even as he lost his right arm and gained more scars than he’d ever dreamed of having, he didn’t stop. He kept pushing. And pushing. And pushing.
Until he was on a TIE fighter with only fire left behind him.
Guardian Angel AU where Rey is the clumsy spirit assigned to look after & maybe try to change Mr. Solo - a very weird, lonely and busy man, who in general isn’t very nice to people. What they both don’t know though is that Ben soon will have a serious accident…
excuse me but does the fact that after Ben Solo has dis******** the only piece of clothing left behind was his shirt mean that he runs around the WBW or whatever shirtless in his highwaisted pants??????hello??? i need answers
being part of reylo culture is opening up tumblr, going through the tag in search of new content, remembering how bad tros was, getting angry because of that and closing the page/app
