#beth israel deaconess medical center

As I sit across my mothers room as she is being injected with radiation before her pet scan a whole lot of emotions run through my mind. She has fought off breast cancer 3 years ago, had cancer moles removed, had a hysterectomy to assure ovarian cancer would not happen, had cancerous polyps removed during a colonoscopy. She looks scared, tells the nurse all about her grandchildren (my kids) and how proud she is of them. That’s the first time I witnessed her telling a complete stranger how much they make her happy and proud. My mother is a tough woman at times even seems cold but in that moment she is as just a proud grandmother with a will to live to watch them grow up. They just took her away for the pet scan and right when she was out of sight my mask filled up with tears. I held it in all morning, I made small talk about after Christmas sales, how much the gas prices went up I wanted to talk about anything besides what was happening today. Today we will know if there’s any cancerous masses anywhere in her body. Waiting is the worst part. First you wait for the appointment, then you want in the waiting room, then you wait for results, then you wait for treatment, wait to see if it worked. Cancer is one big waiting game. Cancer doesn’t discriminate, could care less if you smoke, drink, do drugs, if you are a good person or an ass. Cancer is determined and sneaky but good luck trying to take on my mom. I pray the scans are clear, for cancer’s sake.