When explaining the community infighting to cishets, I always say that the B is just there for namesake and people keep proving my point.
This legitmately angers me. Like the nerve of this person to say that Bi people aren’t as “queer” as they “claim to be.” Absolutely disgusting. Being part of the LGBT+ community doesn’t mean you have to have a certain “power level” on how “queer” you are. You just are part of the community if it applies to you no matter who you do and don’t date. Stop using some made up hierarchy as an excuse to be a jerk.
maybe u guys arent ready for this one but theres nothing “straight” or “less lgbt” abt a bi m/f relationship
I’m begging you to make an actual word for that bc “m/f” relationship can’t be used aloud or outside tumblr. Also making “straight relationship” a dirty word doesn’t help the stigma trans and bi people in hetero relationships face from other lgbt folks. Like there are so many bi people who call their relationship hetero (opposite to gay or lesbian) and that’s not regressive or bad nor does it make them less lgbt or bi.
I know it’s only April, but I just saw such a rancid take on Tiktok (and the person blocked me, woo!) That I need to vent somewhere.
The argument went “bi/pan/queer people with cishet partners shouldn’t bring those partners into queer spaces/Pride because it makes those spaces unsafe for lgbt folks.”
Which is a frankly awful take for many reasons.
First of all “makes a space unsafe” is not an identity. It is a behavior. And ANYONE who is making those spaces unsafe, regardless of their identity, *shouldn’t be there.* Whether they are a cishet man or a lesbian, if you are making people unsafe, you shouldn’t be there.
Secondly, it’s blatantly unenforceable. You can’t clock someone’s identity at the door. You don’t know if they are bi or trans or nonbinary. And no one should have to out themselves to a bouncer.
As a caveat to this, you also don’t ever know *why* someone might bring their cishet partner to pride. Whether that’s because this is an important part of their life they want to share with their partner, or they are disabled and need help managing their meds or mobility aides, or the partner is a designated driver. You just don’t know. So even if you did know they were cishet, maybe they have a “good reason” for being there.
So between it not solving an actual problem to not being enforceable, all this discourse does is create an EXTREMELY hostile environment for, well, bi/pan/queer folks especially. Always. We always get targeted for this kind of stuff.
But also anyone who might worry that *they* aren’t queer enough or not look queer enough. Trans folks who haven’t socially transitioned, non-binary folks who aren’t androgynous enough, ace and aro folks, people who are newly out- they see this rhetoric and think “Oh no. What is someone sees me and thinks I’m cishet? What if someone tells me I can’t be there? What if I don’t really belong?”
So we aren’t doing it. It’s shitty snd hostile and biphobic and exclusionary.
British transphobes have graduated to claiming that bisexual women are tainted by our association with men and thus change the “vibe” of women-only spaces. It’s true, every time I walk into the room, I’m also bringing the spirit of every man who’s been inside my vagina. They live up there like lil ghosts.
This people are genuinely the goofiest dumbest bigots.
Considering the fact that some lesbians have previously had relationships or children with men, this kind of thing is especially gross. Like, this is also punishing some lesbians for having lived through internalized homophobia/lived in very hostile and unsafe environments.
the powers that terfs give men are just insane. they act like being a man makes you a fucking chaos magician bending reality to your whim.
shoutout to the lesbian who (in real life, to my face) told me that a bi woman having sex with a lesbian without disclosing that they are bi is rape because it’s “penis by proxy”
she did not know i was bi
My abusive exgirlfriend would tell me I was one of the few rare “good bisexuals” out there, who she didn’t expect to cheat with a man.
It SOUNDED like praise, but it didn’t FEEL like it. It FELT like I was being policed every moment for potentially experiencing too much desire for men.
My next partner after her was, of course, a man, because when someone who think you love tells you X is forbidden and you’re finally free…
Welp.
(And I don’t understand the way many lesbians talk about penis either. They… don’t sound like they don’t like it. They sound like it’s SO powerful and seductive that the moment you let your guard slip it takes you over like sex pollen.
And then there’s me and I’m like “as someone who would rather play with another person’s vulva than another person’s penis all other things being equal but would have a nice time either way, are you SURE you prefer pussy to dick? Cos you definitely don’t sound like you do.”)
