Bisexual problems

Bisexual Confessions

Watching Pride and Prejudice (2005) is honestly such a prim and proper Regency bisexual wet dream. Because each scene with Lizzie and Darcy as a bi viewer is like “oh my god Lizzie is a stunning goddess,” then “oh and here’s Darcy and he’s a freaking cute ass beef cake man,” and sometimes it’s “oh my there’s Jane and she is a beam of beautiful sunshine,” and “oh Mr. Bingley let me touch those fluffy ginger locks.” When they start bantering, it becomes a high speed game of tennis and I am the ball person ready to pick up all the excess sexual tension, all while having an asthma attack over their swoon-worthy voices. Like fucking kiss already, the intense stares and covert glances are killing me. Please kiss each other. Or me, I don’t fucking care! Why does this movie have to end, you are all so beautiful. Send help. Neither closeted child me or bi as fuck now me can handle this movie without much squealing.

Me: “I’m bisexual, which means that I’m attracted to men and women.” Someone: “Yes, of course!” Me: “So if I want to be in a committed relationship with someone of the opposite sex, that doesn’t change the fact that I’m bisexual and a part of the LGBT+ community.” Someone:

Me:*Bisexual but not looking for a serious relationship*

Lesbians: bitch did you mean you’re STRAIGHT??

It should be illegal for men to catcall me in the street during pride month.