how many times will you redefine pansexuality after being called before you finally accept that it’s okay to just call yourself bi
every time pansexuals are called out for being biphobic/transphobic/homophobic/etc they go “no no no that’s not what pansexuality means, actually this is the real definition of pansexuality”
first it was “attraction to men, women and trans people” and when that was called out for transphobia they changed it to
“hearts not parts” which was also called out for transphobia on top of biphobia and homophobia so they quickly moved on to
“attraction regardless of gender unlike bisexuality where gender is a factor” and when that was called out for being biphobic and ahistorical they swapped it for
“attraction to personality not gender” and when people called that out for being offensive and condescending to literally everyone who’s not pan they tried
“it’s the same as bi but just a personal preference for a different label” and now that that has been called out for enabling internalised biphobia i’m really wondering what they will come up with next
like how many more of these convoluted excuses for distancing yourself from bisexuality can you possibly come up with before you’ll finally be forced to face your internalised biphobia and learn to accept you’re bisexual
What’s the most ridiculous definition of bi and pan you’ve heard
I want to work on a new infographic and/or detailed discourse post. What are some of the most ridiculous/biphobic definitions or “distinctions” you’ve heard someone say. Please reblog/comment and share. Screenshots encouraged if you got them.
Some of the ones I’ve heard:
“Bi has preferences, pan does not”
“Bi is two genders, pan is all”
“Bi people care about genders/genitals, pan people care about personalities”
“bi is men and women, pan is men, women, and enby”
“bi people only like men and women, pan people like intersex people too”
“bi you’re attracted to people based on sex, pan you’re attracted to people based on personality.”
“I’m pan so I like men, women, and disabled people!”
I saw a screenshot of that on FB and I can’t for the life of me find it again.
oh boy I have one for you, courtesy of italian twitter:
translation:“I think [pansexuality] is a "more detailed” bisexuality, for example a bisexual could be racist, so love both sexes but not someone who’s black. Pansexuals can love anyone without any distinction"
I desperately want to tell you that this was a troll but I would be lying
The “bi cares about genitals, pan cares about personality” is honesty the worst one of all of these, not because it’s the worst thing you can say but because it’s so commonly used. It sets the idea that bisexual people are shallow and only care about look where pansexuals are pure angels who care about more than physical attractiveness. It reinforces the idea that pansexuality is the better version.
The idea that sexual orientation should be decided based on what “feels right” is a… problematic one.
“The word bisexual makes me cringe at times, but saying I’m heterosexual or a lesbian feels inaccurate - regardless of who I am in a relationship with. So, cringing all the while, I use the label. Because of my relationship to the term feminist, I have learned that cringing is often a sign of unfinished political business: the label bi sounds bad because, at least in some ways, bisexuals are an unliberated, invisible, and disparaged social group.” — Look both ways : bisexual politics, Jennifer Baumgardner, 2007
By encouraging this idea that a word can “just not sound right” or “makes me cringe”, we encourage internalised biphobia, internalised homophobia, and other internalised prejudices.
Making new identity labels can be an elaborate system of avoiding using words based on internalised prejudices. Are people basing their sense of self on what makes them unique rather than what unifies them with a marginalised group they hold prejudices towards? Those prejudices are going unexamined.
I’ve found that people who avoid the word bisexual generally know nothing about it. They’ve never read a book on bisexuality, they don’t know anything about the history, about bisexual political activists, about existing organisations or conferences, about whether in reality bisexuals date nonbinary people or not (we do). People don’t reject the word based on educated opinion, although there are people online who do their best to create false definitions to discourage people from using it, which I suppose is in their best interest if they want to avoid analysing their own prejudices.
Back in the day, many thousands of years ago, when I was young, we had to work through our prejudices to be comfortable with who we were. I hated the word bisexual. I didn’t want to call myself that, I didn’t like how it sounded coming out of my mouth. But in the end I realised that was purely because my culture saw bisexuals as a joke, as cheaters, as nonexistent. I worked through that. But if I was coming out now, someone online would tell me that work was unnecessary and I should just pick a word which sounds nice to me.
There is no denying that this is internalized biphobia. It’s gross and shouldn’t be supported and normalized.
i wouldnt dislike all these lgbt pride flags if they at least looked cool instead of a bunch of gay color stripes. we need pride flags that look like heavy metal album covers. with like skeletons driving motorcycles and waving guns around. i want a flag that’ll make your balls drop and grow hair on your chest when you look at it
new pride flag just dropped
Yes!!!! That one’s nice… do you have one for Pan as well?
yeah dude check this one out
HAHA YES! PANPHOBIA! SO HYSTERICAL! /sarcasm
here you go! plus ace and trans for fun :)
Fuck OP, pansexuality is valid and get off my blog if you don’t agree
Watch me stomp OP to death with my hooves, and drag them, kicking and screaming, bacwards into Hell with me
You have your hogwarts house in your bio
Yea let’s threaten to hurt someone for recognizing bisexual history! That doesn’t make you sound like you have a severe case of internalized (and externalized) biphobia at all!
You ever just try to understand the logic behind biphobia? Like, we’re allowed to be a part of the LGBTQ+ community, but only when we’re in a same sex relationship. But we also can’t like people of the same sex unless it’s in a threesome with someone of the opposite sex. But also we don’t even exist. Like if you’re gonna hate on us at least get your stories straight
Just would like to add, some bisexual people like women and enbies but not men, some like men and women and not enbies, so on. It’s still bisexual. Saying we’re transphobic, or bisexual is inherently attraction to “just two” or “all genders” isn’t correct. Bisexual people may or may not have a preference, they are still bisexual.
I’m bisexual. I prefer men. I’d say my attraction is maybe 70/30, male to female, just based on my experiences and who I’m drawn to sexually and romantically.
