(A/N: this is for @fineanddandy’s breakuptomakeup2k challenge. Since Chris’ character in playing it cool doesn’t have a name I’m just calling him Chris. He feels like how I could imagine Chris to be tbh. Like follow and reblog with a comment ✌)
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Chris tossed his head back as he watched your ass bounce on top of him
Two days ago, I woke up and realized I was now I member of my late twenties. This realization came with a few hours of lying in bed. Just lying. Confused as to how I got to this point, especially when I feel like I’m just a kid sometimes and I don’t look a day over 21. Luckily, after the initial freak out session, I openly and wholeheartedly accepted the challenge. Here’s the thing about life, it …comes at you fast and hard, and for people like me, with every high there is a slight disappointment. You see, by 27 I just knew I’d have that amazing corporate event planning job. I’d drive a pretty amazing car, have a group of minions who followed my every move. My corner office would be sleek, but not over the top. I’d dress better than anyone in the office, and I would be moving up the ladder quickly. I’d be lucky in love, with visions of a family in the 5 year plan all the while be living a sudo Girlfriends/Sex In The City moment with my girls. We’d all be crazy successful, and do girls trips to exotic locations once a year, leaving our guys home while we worked on our tans. I wouldn’t worry about money, because my efforts would reflect in my paycheck. My faith would be strong, and there would always be enough hours in the day. And more than anything I’d be happy comfortable and on the pathway to settled. Happy. Blessed. Living life to the fullest.
So, one can only imagine my shock when my prefect plan wasn’t even close to the reality I found myself in. Cut to two days ago. I wake up, in my childhood bed, morning breathe, left over mascara on my eyes, weave all over my head. An employee at the happiest place on Earth, which a lot of times feels like a high school reality show. I’m positive N-19 is a branch of MTV’s Real World. I love my job, I really do, but its just that, a job, Its not a career; 21 year olds have jobs, 27 year olds have careers, at least the prospect of one. Feeling broke, no I am broke, like I see I get a paycheck, not sure what happens after it enters my account. And love, there is no prospect of a love life on the horizon, like girl, nothing, nada, zero, zip. By the way, what is a date, do people go on those still, and boyfriends, where do I get one, do I feed him, and take him on walks, like what is that, seriously? Then there is the nasty truth that your Sex In The City girlfriends are the ones you see the least, the ones who let careers, boyfriends, and other mini disasters split you up, the ones which whom the littlest things seem bigger and the harsh realization that no matter how much you love them, you are not in collgee anymore, and things have in fact changed. Then there is Facebook, which amplifies the feeling that everyone else is doing better than you. I call it the Trolling Timeline of Lies, Weddings and Baby Announcements. I’ve attended more weddings than should be legally allowed and read more baby announcements than I can actually stomach, by girls who five years ago who you knew for sure would not get her life together before you because they were the school slut. Lastly, there is that overwhelming feeling that you are good at one too many things, or not great at anything, and you’re not completely sure what your next move is, but you do know there needs to be movement. The feeling of being stagnant is truly the beast of your mid to late twenties.
*Dear 27, you’re a hoe.*
I could probably go on and on about how my storybook version of chapter 27 is going the way I had originally planned, but here’s the plot twist. Happiness. After I sat there for a while, disgusted by the failures of life, I got up. And decided to take the bull by the horns and get over myself and the pity party I was having, and realized I’m just old, I’m not dead. I reflected, prayed and changed the way I looked at the previously stated aspects of my life and chose to find the good in all of it. *Family. I live with the two best parents money can buy, who support me in all that I do. ALL OF IT. Who to this day don’t miss a show, and help me out when things seem slightly off. Hell, my day bought regular bacon for breakfast on my birthday, that’s love. They support me, without doing it for me, and that is the best part of our relationship. We ate breakfast, laughed, laughed some more, and had a great morning, just us three.
WORK. I love to hate my job. It has moments where I literally question the hiring process and wonder in which planet these kids come from, and I realize that I am probably smarter and more qualified than alot of my leads and managers, no shade, and that I will never be the cookie cutter castmember , yet I am there for a reason. I have a group managers and choreographers who have my back, and are in my corner and have reminded me my voice matters, and my talent is there. I’ve been blessed to utilized in multiple shows. Most importantly, I get to dance every single day. Even if it’s a fierce step touch, I get to do it every single day. I’m not stuck in an office, answering phones for some douche bag. I have met some people who, without a doubt are more than my coworkers they are my friends. Like my actually friends. Real life. Not to mention they came out to Thursday night and made my birthday a complete success. I love them. Every single one of them. Many jobs are thankless, unfair, full of favoritism and snakes in the grass who just want to get ahead, foolishness, hints of ignorance and racism, and a host of other ridiculousness, and sadly mine is no different. But with each downfall, amazing people, fair leaders and enthusiastic guest make it worth it. I’m lucky. Lastly, I’m excited at the thought, that this is not the end of the world. I will more than likely not being working for the mouse forever, but while I am here, I will make the most of it.
Social Media. I’m learning to let go of expectations in this category. Social media has ruined the title of a friend. Only in 2014 do people who have your phone number decide to wish you happy birthday via social media. The Trolling Wall of Lies is exactly that, lies. Followers and likes mean very little. We put so much stalk into these fake online friendships, literally getting pissed off when someone unfollows us or deletes us. But I realized this is all in fun. The Trolling Wall of Lies will always be there, but a lot of folks are going through things just like me. I have to remember that.
Friendship. Change happens. Life happens. Arguments, disagreements and foolishness happens. People forget your birthday, and you aren’t there for them when you need them. But friendship, true loving friendship, sees past the mini mix ups. I’m learning to embrace the change, and evolve with my friendship. The people which whom I call friends deserve that. As we grow into adults, our careers and life choices will move us around, our job is the be a constant for each other through the change. I’ve made mistakes, but people for whatever still keep me around. In my early years, I thought friendship was being around each other every second of the day. Now, I believe friendship is more about knowing those people have your back, even if you don’t see them for months, have had disagreements or have made different life choices. God has placed people in your lives for a reason or a season, I’m thankful for the some timers and the lifers. But most importantly I’m thankful I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.
Dance. I’m happy that I still have dance as my special place. It holds such a huge place in my heart. In my early years, I wanted to be the best. The highest kicks, the most pirouettes. Now, I want to dance because I love it. I’m around a new ‘dance community’ who places people on pedestals for whatever reason. Glorifying people constantly, often just because everyone is, and not for their creativity or what they bring to the dance world. I know I will never be on one. But that’s ok. That’s not why I dance. I dance for the love, for the challenge, to be pushed outside my comfort zone. I dance for titan slaying Survey Corps, for the kids from the hood who want to do better, the hungry kids at the bottom of the food chain, who will never be out front, but push, push so hard, never win, never get shout outs, never become stand bys, but never stop pushing… But most importantly because, nothing else, NOTHING else matters when I preform. I can hate your guts, I can be having lifes worst day, but dance changes things. Never let someone else still your joy in dance.
Love. This is the one right here. Now that I realize I probably will not be having kids by 30, I can relax and let whatever is going to happen or not happen, just happen. I’ve gotten so close, placed years into something that unfortunately didn’t work out the way I had hoped and prayed. Insert single black women statics here. But luckily, I am a willing and open vessel who knows that at 27 the world isn’t ending, and there are good, no great people out there. Let life happen. And love will too.
Expectations. Forgiveness is the key to life in your late twenties. Why you ask? I need to forgive myself for not meeting the expectations I’ve placed on myself. I need to realize that I’ve done so much, and even if I’m not where I thought I’d be, I’m here, and the view is amazing. We all have great expectations for ourselves, and not meeting those will be the downfall of my generation. Let your expectations be your outline, but write them in pencil. Because things will happen, road blocks, changes and every so often a monkey wrench will completely throw things off. Be open for that, be ready for that, and you will be happy.
Dear 27, I’m ready for you. I will not let you take me down and steal my joy. I accept the challenge. I accept the fact that I don’t know how I got here, but I will make it out and be everything I had planned on being and more. I will read more, write more, hit up my friends more, laugh more, work more, pray more, be happy more, push myself more, love more, just do more, be more…
Although I do like the Newtina ship, but as a black female fan of the Harry Potter franchise, I was rooting for Leta and Newt more. Taking away the race dynamics, Leta and Newt simply have more chemistry than Newt and Tina. The way that Newt starred at the photo of her in the first film was beautiful. Leta Lestrange’s storyline is incredibly hurtful and offensive. If you’re going to write more diversie characters, specifically black female characters, don’t write her as the product of the rape of a black woman, a “tragic mulatto,” and then only to have her sacrifice herself for her white suitors. Regardless of which Scamander she ended up with, I wanted Leta to be more than a mere footnote in the love story of Newt Scamander and Tina Goldstein’s relationship. I wanted to see more black women be sought after and loved as full human beings and love interest in sci-fi/fantasy. I know that Tina and Newt’s marriage and Bellatrix Lestrange exist in the HP books. So, does that mean JK Rowling planned this awful storyline from the beginning? However, At the very least, a fun friendship between Leta, Newt, Tina, Queenie, and Jacob. I honestly wish JK Rowling hadn’t even created Leta Lestrange to disrespect her in this way.
