#bsd kyoka fic

Where do babies come from?

✧･ﾟ: * Prompt ~ Kenji, Kyōka, and Atsushi asking the reader and Dazai how babies are made ~
✧･ﾟ: * Character/Pairing ~ Kenji, Kyōka, Atsushi, Dazai - light Dazai x Reader implication ~
✧･ﾟ: * Content ~ The Talk, slightly implied fem!reader but not heavily ~
✧･ﾟ: * Type ~ Chaotic headcanons ~
✧･ﾟ: * Author’s Note ~ I’m throwing Kenji in here because I think that Kyōka and Kenji are an adorable dynamic and would get into so many hijinks. ~

❈ Kenji and Kyōka start talking about where babies come from in the office one day and realize their stories don’t match up.

✧ Kyōka almost gets it. She had that seductress training so she understands the concept. Just the details are a little fuzzy. Such as the fact that it would not, in fact, be through bumping into someone.
✧ Kenji seems to think that storks stick a very small baby through the mom’s belly button. Not quite on the mark.
✧ They turn to Atsushi to clear the confusion up, and he panics.

❈ Atsushi would know, he’s an adult, but he’d 100% go on instinct and tell Kyōka and Kenji the same thing he told all the kids at the orphanage if they asked - “They get dropped off by the door.”
❈ After realizing this doesn’t work as well at a detective agency, he’d act like he doesn’t know, leading them to go as you and Dazai.
❈ The second the question slips out of their mouths, you see the spark in Dazai’s eyes that can only mean trouble.

✧ “There could be a demon-” “THAT’S- not necessary Dazai.” “I’m only playing, darling, seriously what do you think of me?”

❈ Between a slightly awkward stumbling through the actual process and Dazai’s occasionally helpful points, the two of them seem to get it.
❈ You’d think you’ve finally avoided the chaos until Kyōka asks a follow-up question, “If a mother dies with the baby inside her, does the baby die too?”

✧ Oh no. Once you answer her that yes, the baby would also die, you could swear you heard her mutter “36…”

❈ Thankfully, the two of them seem satisfied with those answers and go back to their work and conversations. Atsushi mouths “Thank you” to the two of you, and the rest of the day returns to normal. Or at least however normal a day for the ADA can be.

Requests | OPEN|