YOU KNOW WHAT⁉️THESE CHEATING ANGST THAT I’VE BEEN READING LITERALLY AFFECTED ME MENTALLY–I COULDN’T EVEN VIEW MYSELF BEING WITH MY FAVES ANYMORE BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE THEY’RE GONNA CHEAT ON ME AND I WOULDN’T BLAME THEM i literally read angst to motivate myself that i deserve better but now im in a slump of insecurity and WRATH
i think seeing an y/n who knows they deserve better and put their cheating partners on their places WOULD HELP so pls recommend some shawtys ☝️
Violets - Dazai x Reader cw: unhealthy relationship dynamics, drug use, mental manipulation, cheating »»————- ♡ ————-««
Without a word he was gone only showing up in dreams and nightmares. He was a dying star that swallowed you in and kept you warm in the dark until there was nothing left of either.
Dazai has only been impulsive twice in his life. Leaving the Port Mafia and taking you with him (four years later).
“5 things I thought before I met you“ Dazai x reader
Sometimes, I wish I could disappear into a void. Somewhere far where I can clear my thoughts. Somewhere safe, like for example-
1. I avoid physical contact “It’s alright. Everything’s alright. - Dazai hugs you while your face rested on his chest. - I see you do not handle alcohol very well, belladonna.”
Dazai chuckles while patting your head. “It feels safe in your arms, Osamu.”- your voice sounds heavy because you have pressed your face against his chest, and yet Dazai heard it well. You called him by his name, which left Dazai a bit surprised.
He smiles while tightening the grip around you, pulling you closer to his embrace. “I’m here for you, love.” - like a whisper dancing around your ears, unknowingly you smiled, raising your head to meet his eyes.
2. Kissing is disgusting.
“Osamu, - you say breathily, - will you let me kiss you?” Although you were drunk, you still asked for consent which made Dazai smile.
“You don’t even have to ask but, - Dazai caresses your cheek. - do you really want to not even remember our first kiss? You’re barely standing on your feet.”
“You’re right. - you agree, but your eyes are fixated on his neck. You raise a bit and kiss his neck, to which Dazai almost surrenders.
“Belladonna, - he takes small pauses while struggling to control himself. - We really shouldn’t-
Running your fingers through his hair, every kiss on his skin leaves Dazai with immense pleasure. Maybe it’s just coincidence, but you managed to touch all his sensitive places without giving much thought.
“Wow. - Dazai smiles. - Who knew you also had a side like this?”
3. Love doesn’t exist.
“Osamu, - you stop for a moment to meet Dazai’s eyes who were filled with half passion and half were empty, as usual. - I’m in love with you.”
Dazai wasn’t sure if it was you or the alcohol talking. But, once he meets your eyes, he stares into them, trying to figure you out.
“Belladonna, you can’t love me, - he cups your cheek while holding your hand.- I’m not a man of love.”
“To me, you are love itself.”- you answer, eyes slowly shutting down from exhaustion.
4. I trust nobody
“Belladonna, - Dazai’s left surprised by your confession. - I should take you home.”
“Osamu, - he became accustomed to you calling his name. - please do take me home.”
Dazai chuckles at you, who a few days ago refused him to even walk you home.
5. Love can not change people.
“Come inside. - you grab Dazai’s hand but he stays still. - Come, Osamu.” “I’d rather not love, the alcohol is getting the better of you.”- Chances are that he wouldn’t resist so he chooses not even to enter in your apartament.
“Alright then, - you lightly punch his arm. - You’re always like this, so stubborn.” Dazai chuckles, then you meet his eyes.
“I love you.”- those were the last words you said to him that evening, which kept repeating in his head all night long.
Dazai caresses your cheek with a subtle smile.
“I love you too.”- though you didn’t hear him, his voice came out soft like a piano melody, his eyes softened and there were filled with love. All of them.
Love doesn’t change people you said but yet, it changed you completely, as the things you thought and believed before, were all lonely lies.
I↪ before he actually wakes up and registers where he is and what decade he’s in, he’ll sloppily fumble for the blanket and throw it over you, tangling your limbs together to cuddle under it.
Seems cute and harmless right? But it’s actually a strategy to keep you from getting up ‘cause you’re caged in his long limbs and thus, you end up sleeping in as well.
The way he holds you is so comfortable and sweet and your woozy morning brain can’t resist it the warmth, so you bargain “15 minutes” and then both of you will get up. It never happens.
random things that could happen with the bsd characters on a walk
this is literally 70% crack please don’t take this too seriously also a bit of suggestive content and cussing
Atsushi Nakajima: You’ll probably be approached by every single cat in the neighborhood and Atsushi will stop to pet them. It’s cute until they’re all scratching your legs and laying dead rats at your feet.
Dazai Osamu: At least two women will come up to you both, slap him out of nowhere and tell him that they’re gonna cut his dick off if they ever see him again. If you’re attentive, you’ll see Akutagawa at every street corner stalking you guys.
Akutagawa Ryuunosuke: If you’re lucky enough to walk with him, it’ll probably be at night. He’ll want to grab your hand but forgets he coughed blood on it earlier so you feel a slick, cold thing touch your palm and instinctively slap it away. You realize it was his hand and there’s an awkward silence for the rest of the walk. He cries about it later.
Chuuya Nakahara: Will try to impress you so hard, especially using his ability. 100% will beat up any guy that would try and approach you. Accidentally punches someone you know that was coming up to you to say hi. The rest of your “walk” is spent in the hospital where your friend is bedridden with 4 broken bones and a bloody nose.
Kunikida Doppo: There’s a strict schedule. You’ll have 11 minutes and 46 seconds to complete your walk, or on weekends 30 minutes and 56 seconds. While walking, you’ll try to talk to him about something but it always just ends with him complaining about Dazai’s dumbassery.
Ranpo Edogawa: Prepare a route for your walk before hand and make sure not to pass any sweet shops unless you want your wallet emptied. He’ll hold your hand like a kid and skip along the path- but will leave you without a second thought if he sees a stray cat cause he wants to give it to Fukuzawa.
Yosano Akiko: Literally the best person to go on a walk with. She’ll pick up a flower and put it in your hair cause she thinks it’ll look pretty on you. Don’t get hurt though. Not even a grazed knee cause the moment she sees it, she’ll bring her chainsaw out.
Fukuzawa Yukichi: Will fucking dip your ass if he sees a barking dog. Have fun trying to keep up with the DILF. Peepaw can run faster then you might think. (blame tik tok for that nickname btw)
Gin Akutagawa: She doesn’t talk much but will quietly whisper things to you if you’re close to her. Ignores Tachihara like a fucking plague and if you run into her brother you’re going to get stabbed-unless you happen to be Dazai Osamu. Which of course, you’ll never be.
Michizō Tachihara: He’s gonna try and get into your pants at a park bench at one in the morning. Some drunk girl stumbles by and asks if she can join you guys. You leave after Tachihara says yes.
Ichiyō Higuchi: Bisexual queen and anyone can tell. She simps for the Akutagawa Siblings while you guys walk but you can’t blame her cause you’re doing the same thing. Links your arms together.
Kouyou Ozaki: Spends the whole time talking about Kyouka and how cute she is, probably starts tearing up about it cause she wants her back home. You once said she was acting like Killua’s mother from Hunter X Hunter. She almost decapitated you.
Ogai Mori: Elise tags along always and people comment on how you guys look like a cute family. Mori doesn’t appreciate you replying with, “I rather die than marry an alternate universe Dino.” Elise thinks you’re fucking funny as hell.
Fyodor Dostoevsky: God complex motherfucker will death stare anyone who just as much as jaywalks and call them a “sinner”. Rats follow him around and he has a throne in the sewers with “Rat King” spelled out above it in red spray paint. Unfortunately for you- it actually looks aesthetic so he takes you there for your walk.
Nikolai Gogol: You’ll probably end up dead but it’ll be the best fucking walk you ever take. Starts talking about how everyone’s a bird in a cage and probably farts every few minutes cause he ate beans for lunch. Randomly moans cause he thinks its funny.
Sigma: Takes you to somewhere cute like a library and would try to kiss you at the end of the walk. But he gets nervous, trips, and falls on his face. Gogol’s
recording it all behind a bush to send to Fyodor later.
Edgar Allen Poe: Karl’s usually in his coat so whenever you go near him he smells like a whole ass zoo cause Karl’s a fucking player and as railed various she-racoons from all over Yokohama. Your walks look like a fucking pandemic with social distancing and shit.
Mark Twain: Just like Tachihara, if he likes you he’s gonna try and rail you somewhere. Gets cockblocked by Hawthorne who throws a whole ass cross as his head and knocks him out. He later proposes to you cause the only way Hawthorne will let you fuck is when you get married.
Jouno Saigiku: He’s not going to open his eyes. No matter what. You don’t know if he’s sleep walking or actually awake and listening to you. But it’s YOU who trips and falls- into his arms. It’s romantic till he drops you on purpose cause he needed to scratch an itch.
✧･ﾟ: * Prompt ~ Short blurbs about how the Bungo Stray Dogs boys would respond to “Pretty boy, with me I said”~ ✧･ﾟ: * Character/Pairing ~ Kunikida, Chuuya, Dazai, Atsushi, Akutagawa, Ranpo, Poe, Tanizaki, Lovecraft (individually x reader) ~ ✧･ﾟ: * Content ~ Pretty boys being blushy, what more do we need? ~ ✧･ﾟ: * Type ~ Fluff, Short Headcanons ~ ✧･ﾟ: * Author’s Note ~ I saw this post and I’ve been rolling on this ever since,,,, they’re all so pretty help ~ -repost because for some reason the tags weren’t working on the last one, so if you saw this already, sorry!-
❈ Kunikida would take a minute to realize you were talking to him, before blushing and muttering something about “inappropriate workplace behavior” on his way over. Don’t get this wrong, he absolutely loved it, and may even ask for you to call him pretty again in private. ❈ Chuuya knows he’s pretty. There’s no surprise here, so he naturally responds with a smirk and “Coming, doll.” ❈ Dazai would freeze for just a moment, before coming right over, acting like it’s without a second thought. If you two were alone, he’d then hold you in his arms, and ask if you really think he’s pretty. If this is in public, that’d be the end of it, maybe a wink at anyone he passes but would bring it up later when you two are alone. ❈ Good job, you killed Atsushi. A blushing mess, it’d take a solid minute for him to form coherent sentences. Clarify that yes, you do in fact mean him, and he’ll be over the moon for the rest of the day at least. ❈ Once again, a one-shot kill for Akutagawa. He’d absolutely freeze, before erupting into a coughing fit for a solid minute. He might even actually fall over. His amazing partner, recognizing him? And complimenting him? It’s too much for this emotionally stunted emo to take. ❈ Ranpo is well aware of how pretty he is, plus those eyes. Look at the ego on this one, do you think calling him pretty is going to make an impact? (Yes it absolutely does, and he’d be absolutely giddy the second he’s alone, he just has a reputation to maintain) ❈ Poe should be called pretty constantly, that’s just a fact. But you could call him pretty every time you talk to him, and every time he’s still going to flush bright red and stammer over himself, before trying to hide his face in his hands. He’ll still do whatever it was you needed, just, give him a minute. ❈ Tanizaki would melt, on the spot. Prepare for him blushing and cuddling you, whatever you needed would have to wait. He’s a wreck but in the best way. ❈ Lovecraft would be taken aback, especially if you’ve seen his true form to any extent. He’s inhuman, how could anyone find that attractive? But you do, and it makes his cold, wet heart(?) flutter.
✧･ﾟ: * Prompt ~ Dazai’s dating Chuuya’s twin sister ~ ✧･ﾟ: * Character/Pairing ~ Dazai x fem!reader ~ ✧･ﾟ: * Content ~ Reader is Chuuya’s twin, also in the Port Mafia ~ ✧･ﾟ: * Type ~ Fluff, Headcanons~ ✧･ﾟ: * Author’s Note ~ Why must you make Chuuya suffer this way? I’m just kidding, this was a blast to write, I hope you enjoy it! ~
❈ His teasing is relentless, especially for those he really cares about, so get ready for near-constant annoyance. And if he can piss you and Chuuya off and get the same reaction? Please, he thrives on your “suffering”
✧ He would be a lot more careful with you though, if you’re insecure about something none of his jokes will even go near mentioning it.
❈ Dazai completely would joke about not being able to tell the difference between you and Chuuya sometimes. Such as when walking up behind the two of you talking, acting like he couldn’t tell. (He always knows, but that’s not gonna stop him from messing with the two of you.) ❈ If you have an ability similar to Chuuya’s, Dazai will bug you to carry him or float stuff to him. Your brother never would, but you can’t say no to your boyfriend’s puppy dog eyes. ❈ While in the Port Mafia, your relationship would be a bit more subtle. He doesn’t want anyone there to see you as his weakness since that would put you in danger. ❈ As soon as Chuuya finds out about your relationship, (I feel like Dazai would just happen to be making out with you next to Chuuya’s office, he “completely lost track” of the fact that Chuuys was coming back already lies) Dazai is completely going to be giving you both crap for it.
✧ “How can a slug like Chuuya have such a stunning twin, you got all the pretty didn’t you my love?”
❈ Chuuya on the other hand, is completely going to try to intimidate him with the shovel talk. But with all the threats the two throw around, it’s basically a normal conversation for the two of them. ❈ You’re also pissed when Dazai ditches the Port Mafia and goes off the radar for a few years, but he does keep leaving little notes at your apartment to let you know he’s safe. ❈ When Dazai gets captured by the Port Mafia, you come to check on him. While you’re about to rip him a new one, you see him slip out of the cocky, cold mask he puts up as his heart melts seeing you. You’re the one who broke the chains for him to escape, you offered to let him out completely but he wanted the theatrics. ❈ Once you’re back together, you two will just stroll up to the other’s headquarters. And between the ADA not having an explicit reason to take you in (and not wanting to piss off the Port Mafia), and nobody wants to take on Dazai with the mafia, your work dates go fine!
✧･ﾟ: * Prompt ~ Kenji, Kyōka, and Atsushi asking the reader and Dazai how babies are made ~ ✧･ﾟ: * Character/Pairing ~ Kenji, Kyōka, Atsushi, Dazai - light Dazai x Reader implication ~ ✧･ﾟ: * Content ~ The Talk, slightly implied fem!reader but not heavily ~ ✧･ﾟ: * Type ~ Chaotic headcanons ~ ✧･ﾟ: * Author’s Note ~ I’m throwing Kenji in here because I think that Kyōka and Kenji are an adorable dynamic and would get into so many hijinks. ~
❈ Kenji and Kyōka start talking about where babies come from in the office one day and realize their stories don’t match up.
✧ Kyōka almost gets it. She had that seductress training so she understands the concept. Just the details are a little fuzzy. Such as the fact that it would not, in fact, be through bumping into someone. ✧ Kenji seems to think that storks stick a very small baby through the mom’s belly button. Not quite on the mark. ✧ They turn to Atsushi to clear the confusion up, and he panics.
❈ Atsushi would know, he’s an adult, but he’d 100% go on instinct and tell Kyōka and Kenji the same thing he told all the kids at the orphanage if they asked - “They get dropped off by the door.” ❈ After realizing this doesn’t work as well at a detective agency, he’d act like he doesn’t know, leading them to go as you and Dazai. ❈ The second the question slips out of their mouths, you see the spark in Dazai’s eyes that can only mean trouble.
✧ “There could be a demon-” “THAT’S- not necessary Dazai.” “I’m only playing, darling, seriously what do you think of me?”
❈ Between a slightly awkward stumbling through the actual process and Dazai’s occasionally helpful points, the two of them seem to get it. ❈ You’d think you’ve finally avoided the chaos until Kyōka asks a follow-up question, “If a mother dies with the baby inside her, does the baby die too?”
✧ Oh no. Once you answer her that yes, the baby would also die, you could swear you heard her mutter “36…”
❈ Thankfully, the two of them seem satisfied with those answers and go back to their work and conversations. Atsushi mouths “Thank you” to the two of you, and the rest of the day returns to normal. Or at least however normal a day for the ADA can be.
✧･ﾟ: * Author’s Note ~ I had a lot of fun with this one, I hope you enjoy it! ~
✧･ﾟ: * Osamu Dazai
❈ You’re not gonna be touch-starved with this man for long, I’ll give you that. He’s definitely one for dramatics, and if you’re comfortable with public displays of affection, he’ll have an arm around you at all times, or holding your hands and cuddling on the ADA couch (no matter how much Kunikida complains about professionalism). You’re his s/o, and if he had his way the whole world is going to know it, so loving touches in public are to be expected.
❈ Whether you’re coming out of a relationship without a lot of touching, or you’ve been single for a while, he’s going to make it his mission to make you feel loved. And if touch is what it takes, then he’s going to make sure that he’s making up for all the lost time before the two of you were together.
❈ I think that physical touch is a big love language for Dazai too, so this is also somewhat self-serving. Even when he’s not playing it up, you can still expect plenty of times where his gentle touches linger longer than necessary, or how when he comes from behind to lay his head on your shoulder as you are working on something, he’s in bliss.
✧･ﾟ: * Chuuya Nakahara
❈ I don’t think that Chuuya would be particularly touchy on his own. Not that he minds the contact, and can do it for a romantic moment, but he just doesn’t think to initiate it often. I see him as leaning toward doing things for you to be romantic, so the bigger the gesture the better in his mind.
❈ But talk to him about it! He might leave you a little touch starved at the beginning (between missions and spending his time with you trying to do things for you), so tell him that you want more touch. I mean obviously, he’s still going to want to show his love in the way that comes naturally to him, so don’t downplay it, but he’s more than down to just hold you on the couch some evenings rather than spend the whole night cleaning your place.
❈ Eventually, you both find things that hit both of your love languages! Massages come to mind, him being able to do something for you that involves that physical touch? Heavenly.
✧･ﾟ: * Kento Nanami
❈ Okay, hear me out. It takes a hot minute to get to that point. But once Nanami is comfortable with someone I just think he’d be the biggest cuddler. It’s just a vibe I get from him, he loves near-constant physical contact, who cares who sees.
❈ So if this is early into your relationship, you’re going to have a bit of a dry spell. Some handholding, maybe. I just think it’d take him a while to get adjusted to the idea that you can be a permanent part of his life. But once you have reached that point, he’s another that you’re not gonna be touch starved for long.
❈ Have conversations with him, he’s going to want to be sure that you’re getting enough out of the relationship from the get-go, but you being willing to start a conversation about your needs gives him that sense of permanence that he needs to initiate it too
❈ You’re his stress relief, and he’s sure to tell you. Whether that be leaning on his chest, stroking his hand at another stupid meeting, or a hug at the end of the day, he melts into you, and he hopes he can show you how much you mean to him through the same.
✧･ﾟ: * Megumi Fushiguro
❈ Another one who’s not going to be that into physical affection on his own. He grew up with Gojo. Who “annoyed” him and was very touchy. So touch isn’t his go-to in expressing affection, and he can be a bit tense when someone else initiates it with him.
❈ But, communication can work wonders, and talking to him, he’s more than willing to be more physical for you. And I think he’d eventually start to enjoy it more than he thought he would.
❈ He’d still be a little iffy on PDA, but he’d be willing to hold hands, and if you lean into him while you’re hanging out with friends, well he won’t mind.
❈ But in private he’ll initiate the touch a lot more since he wants to make sure you aren’t feeling unloved. I think that time would be a big love language for him, and so you laying on his chest on the couch, sitting in comfortable silence would become a standard routine for you.
✧･ﾟ: * Satoru Gojo
❈ Gojo isn’t the most receptive to your needs, but lucky for you this man is going to want to be all over you anyway. You’re gonna have a harder time keeping him off you than getting him to touch you.
❈ Incredulous that you’re touch starved. How doesn’t everyone just want to be holding you constantly? You’re so holdable? He just assumes that his thoughts are universal, or the only correct ones at least, so the thought that you haven’t been constantly given all the physical affection is wild to him. (Though that doesn’t mean that he isn’t going to be possessive if anyone else tries)
❈ But once he finds out that this is one of your needs, he will be extra conscious of it, and I feel like he’d be checking in with you fairly often. He’d play it off as a joke most of the time. “What, do you need me to hold you more or something?”, but he does seriously want to be sure he’s meeting your needs.
✧･ﾟ: * Prompt ~ Fluff headcanons with Kunikida, Atsushi, Dazai, and Poe with a s/o who is weak to lower temperatures ~ ✧･ﾟ: * Characters ~ Kunikida, Atsushi, Dazai, Poe (individually x gn!reader) ~ ✧･ﾟ: * Content ~ Reader that’s weak to cold, fluff all around, brief death mention (it’s Dazai) ~ ✧･ﾟ: * Type ~ Fluff, headcannons ~ ✧･ﾟ: * Author’s Note ~ This one was a ton of fun to write, I threw Poe in there as well because I had some ideas for him too. I hope you like it! ~
✧･ﾟ: * Doppo Kunikida
❈ This man is hard at work reorganizing his notes to make sure that everything he plans will make you comfortable as soon as possible. There might be some slight grumbling about having to rework it all, but he’s really more than happy to do it and loved the chance to review everything. | ✧ Expect a lot of clarifying questions, if you’re comfortable with them, to make sure he’s doing everything properly. Is it only under certain conditions? Are foods an issue? What should he have on him to help most effectively? ❈ As soon as he has his new plan, he will be on it 100%. Before you even have the chance to become uncomfortable, he’ll correct any issues. Always has a spare jacket with him if he’s going to be with you, just in case. And maybe an extra spare, to be safe. ❈ He will definitely curse out the weather if it changes too fast. I feel like he’d be the type to complain about it if it was different than the forecast anyway, but if it’s making his s/o uncomfortable? Unacceptable. ❈ He just wants you to be perfectly content at all times, and anything in his power he can do to help with that, you can consider it done.
✧･ﾟ: * AtsushiNakajima
❈ I feel like he’d be very aware of your needs generally, but especially with the cold, considering what he was wearing before he got an outfit from the ADA. | ✧His old orphanage messed up a perfectly good man, that’s what they did. Look at it, it’s got anxiety. ❈ That being said, he will now make sure he does everything he can to keep you warm. Make sure that you always have enough layers available, anywhere you’re staying is well heated enough, the works. ❈ He probably runs warm, so he’s more than happy to cuddle up to you, and will initiate it anytime he sees you shivering. I think he’d also use his ability, so you could snuggle up with his warm fur when you’d like.
✧･ﾟ: * Osamu Dazai
❈ Get ready for plenty of jokes about freezing to death together, it comes with the territory. ❈ He will do a lot to make sure that you’re accommodated though it will either be very obvious or things you’d never even think to question. ❈ Most of the things he does without you even knowing, or anyone else realizing for that matter. As soon as he finds out, you’re never going on a mission/errand in the cold again. It just won’t even come up, he’ll keep the conversation toward any other options to go. If you work for the ADA with him, the building will always be kept high enough that he doesn’t need to worry about you. | ✧ Though Kunikida would definitely complain about the constant use of electricity being out of budget if he didn’t know why. ❈ But, doing things to help you that you notice? Expect a big show, all the dramatics. Flailing and acting like he’s going to freeze without it when he gives you his coat (those bandages keep him plenty warm don’t worry about it), or the absolute quest that is going into the other room and grabbing you a blanket for movie night. ❈ He wants the attention, after all, if he’s doing so much for you like this, you simply must thank him for it.
✧･ﾟ: * Edgar Allan Poe
❈ I think that Poe runs cold anyway, look at him, he definitely has no circulation. | ✧ This is not helped by the fact that he picks janky old buildings, abandoned castles, and victorian style mansions anytime he can for the aesthetic. ❈ So, with a s/o that’s bad with cold, it’s both a blessing and a curse. He’ll be worried about you, and fretting over making everything comfortable for you, but making him actually warm-up is definitely good for him. Use those fancy fireplaces for once. ❈ He has enough layers to share though and will do so. If he notices you getting chilly, he’ll be quick to give you his cape and ribbon, and more if you need them. | ✧ Also, Karl makes a great lap (or shoulder, chest, etc) warmer, and will gladly sit on you as well. ❈ Warm this boy up with you? Please, he needs it. Grab him and cuddle next to the (sixth) industrial-strength space heater he just bought you.
a/n: an idea requested by my friend @kisara-16 ! (genre: humor) ft. chuuya & pm dazai
a drop of sweat rolled down your neck when you glanced at the executive who was walking next to you. “unbelievable,” you muttered. “how does your hair still look this good?” you would expect that after completing a mission with soukoku in the middle of a heatwave, everyone would have the same terrible hairstyle, but no, chuuya’s hair didn’t seem affected at all.
chuuya grinned. “what can i say? it’s one of my many skills.”
“funny you say that!” a voice appeared from behind chuuya in the halls of the port mafia. immediately the muscles in the redhead’s body tensed as if he had learned to be suspicious of that teasing tone. chuuya clenched his fist, ready to swing it at the person behind him, but the action was in pure vain. dazai already had a red lock pinched between his fingers. “no longer human.”
in a desperate attempt to keep in your laughter, you tightly pressed your lips together. even chuuya’s hat couldn’t hide how silky red hair had turned into an exploding dry mess.
“wow, chuuya! that hairstyle looks fantastic on you. please tell us how you got it this-"
"DAZAAIIII."
"what?” dazai widened his eyes, displaying innocent doe eyes.
“you’re going to pay for this, you asshole!"
"i would say i’m sorry, but i’m not. you have to suffer from a bad hair day just like the rest of us. this is hard on us, too, you know. try to be a bit more empathetic, would you?"
chuuya turned red but it was not because of the dying heat in yokohama. "that you have to walk around with a shitty birdnest on ya head doesn’t mean I have to.”
as much as you found the bickering entertaining, you reminded the boys of how you still had to bring out a report to mori.“
in response, chuuya cleared his throat and activated his skill again, showing a perfectly maintained hairstyle.
"ugh,” dazai whined. “do we have to?”
chuuya scoffed. “you should have stayed in the damn care like you said ya would. either go back or behave.”
“says the dog to its master.”
soukoku’s bickering followed you until you arrived in the hall that led to mori’s office. you nodded at the bodyguards and then turned around to face the boys. even though you enjoyed the free entertainment, you had a duty to fulfill. and so you crossed your arms and looked at them with a strict glance in your eyes to show playtime is over.
“now,the both of you have to behave. when we enter the boss’ office, i expect you to be on your best behavior.” your gaze lingered on dazai who was smiling like a saint.
“pinky promise, y/n!’
"of course, y/n,” chuuya replied. he opened the doors, and right when chuuya stepped into mori’s office to announce your arrival, dazai appeared behind chuuya once again.
Your eyes widened as you watched how dazai touched chuuya’s hair with his index finger. you could only imagine the horror that must be painted on chuuya’s face right now.
Your lover had known basically everything about the baby before you did. Ranpo figured out you were pregnant, how many weeks in you were, the baby’s gender, and the expected due date before either of you ever got word from a medical professional. So it’s safe to say he was your little “at home doctor”.
But that didn’t mean he wasn’t ever surprised by you or the baby. When you came scurrying in the agency on your day off, his eyes opened curiously.
“Now just what are you two doing here today?”
You gave the brightest of smiles, “I have a surprise!” Gently, your hand grabbed his wrist, guiding his palm to smooth over your stomach.
Ranpo was a bit confused- he knew you were pregnant, why were you making him feel your belly? But then he felt it. A single kick against his hand.
Your eyes softened at his widened ones, free hand coming up to scratch his scalp. “She started kicking as soon as you left this morning and hasn’t stopped since. Guess she’s already a daddy’s girl, huh?”
He trembled, taking in a shaky breath, “Come now precious girl, don’t tell me you’ve been giving your mother a hard time because you missed me?” he cupped your stomach with both hands.
Another kick was delivered in response and you cooed, tearing up at Ranpo’s look of pure amazement. “Don’t underestimate her. She’s stubborn like her father.”
Dazai
Before he met you, Dazai had never wanted to be a father. Even when the thought of having a baby with you popped into his mind from time to time, he always ignored it, as he was sure it wasn’t what he wanted. But then you broke the news to him one morning and it just…felt right.
Overtime, he found he enjoyed singing to them. So there Dazai lay, back against the armrest of the couch, with you in his arms, as his voice softly echoed throughout the apartment.
You jolted in surprise at a sudden movement, looking up when the singing stopped. “I’m alright, love, I promise.”
“Are you sure, Belladonna?” Dazai got more worried over you and the baby as each week passed.
You grinned, “Yeah.” Casually, you took his hand and placed it over your tummy, “Though someone wanted to show some appreciation for your performance.”
Dazai gasped, feeling two soft kicks in succession against his hand.
“Feel that? Our little girl is saying ‘Hi Daddy’!”
“…Girl?” his fingers flexed gently on top of your skin, “W-we’re having a g-girl?” Dazai would’ve been down in the floor if he’d been standing; he was having a daughter.
“Yes. And I know you’ll be the perfect father for her.”
Chuuya
Chuuya was ecstatic when you told him the news; he was practically (and almost literally) bouncing off the walls for days. He talked to your stomach every chance he could, so a day without him having a one-sided conversation with your son was rare.
You swirled your tea around in its cup, smiling at Chuuya’s recap of his day. He’d just started to describe his fight when you leaned on the kitchen bar with a groan.
Chuuya stopped immediately, darting his eyes over to your figure. “Baby? What’s wrong?”
“Just your son giving me a run for my money.”
Without a second thought, Chuuya kneels down in front of you and places his hands on your stomach. “Now listen here you little punk, you better be nice to your momma!” When the rapid kicks resumed, this time against his hand, he blinked owlishly.
You snort in amusement, bringing your fingers up to caress your fiance’s cheek. “Babe?”
“He’s kicking…he’s kicking! Aw man, I knew you’d be a powerhouse, just like your papa! You’re gonna be my mini little badass, ain’t that right?” Chuuya cheers when he kicks again, harder this time.
Raising an eyebrow, you stare down at him with a slight pinch in your face. You watch him slowly blink again and pursue his lips sheepishly.
“But uh, seriously, don’t cause too much trouble in there, alright? Your mom’s already got it rough with you, so be good. We can raise hell when you’re out here, ya got that?“
You sighed in fake exasperation. “Haven’t even met yet and you’re already partners in crime.” Smiling, you rub Chuuya’s head and your stomach, “Troublemakers.”
Atsushi
When you told him you were pregnant, his nervous system crashed. Atsushi was so excited to be a father but he was incredibly nervous- he didn’t have a good father figure, so he desperately wanted to do a good job. Though, he found himself relaxing when he got to sit down with you and imagine what your son was gonna be like.
“I hope he has your little black streak in his hair!” You giggled, running a thumb over that exact strand. When you went to speak again, you stopped, eyes widening.
“What?! What’s wrong?!” If he wasn’t so worried about hurting you, he’d have jumped five feet off the bed.
“He’s kicking, ‘Sushi, he’s kicking!Feel!”
Atsushi’s base reaction was to shuffle closer and nuzzle the side of his head on your stomach, waiting intently.
And watching him jump in surprise when he felt the kicks was the most adorable sight. “He must’ve felt you and got excited! He’s kicking a lot more now!”
Your lover trembled, peering up at you with watery eyes, “Y/n…he…he kicked!”
Feeling your heart melt, you laughed softly, cradling his head against your belly, “Yeah, he did. He’s gonna be strong just like his daddy.”
Poe
Your husband was just so in awe of you when you told him the news. Poe spent hours every day worshipping your body and taking care of you. He would’ve honestly abandoned all of his work if you hadn’t assured him you’d be fine. But he was a little bundle of nerves, so he always left Karl with you while he worked.
And Karl was currently laying on your stomach, purring, as you read a book for him and your baby. He suddenly shoots his head up when you pause, flicking his tail urgently.
“Haha, yes Karl, they’re kicking! Go get Edgar so we can show him!”
Poe nearly trips through the door, mind racing as he watches his beloved pet hop up and nuzzle your stomach. “A-are you okay?! Karl just came s-scrambling in m-my study so I t-thought the w-worst…”
You smile gently, “Karl just didn’t want you to miss anything.” You beckon him over, motioning towards your belly.
He places a hand on your tummy, a quiet “ah!” leaving his lips when he feels it. “They’re kicking! Oh, Karl, can you believe it, they’re kicking!”
Laughing at his rambling, you run your hands through his wavy locks, “They must’ve recognized your story as I was reading and decided they missed their papa.” The look Poe gave you made you feel all fuzzy.
warnings : violence, blood, minor deaths, very brief suicide mention (Dazai)
synopsis : not all secrets hurt
Dazai
No Rest For The Wicked (levitation/telekinesis)
You and Dazai had been tasked with finding a rather amateur hacker that was caught trying to steal data from the Ada
It was easy enough, you’d found him in less than an hour, but unfortunately the hacker knew he was amateur : he had a trick up his sleeve to compensate for it
He led you both up to the rooftop on a wild goose-chase and before you could even blink the sudden brightness away, Dazai had been grabbed and thrown towards the edge
You saw everything in slow motion when your boyfriend started to fall. His feet skidded across the concrete rooftop, catching on the sides, but his right foot slid too far.
Dazai pitched backwards with widened eyes, breath caught in his throat. His mind was screaming— he didn’t want to die! Not yet! He couldn’t leave you behind, he still had an entire lifetime with you!
A gut-wrenching shout tore through the air, silencing his thoughts. “OSAMU!”
With speed that could rival a demon, you were right in front of him, grabbing on to his outstretched hand and tugging him back before his left foot could slip too. You had to use all of your strength to pull him, and in doing so, you threw yourself right off the side of the roof.
“BELLADONNA!” His widened eyes were filled with horror, throat already raw from his screaming. Shaky hands slammed against the concrete and Dazai thought about following you when-
“Osamu, don’t you dare even think about trying to take a swan dive on purpose!”
His head shot up so fast he knew there would be a crick in it later, but he didn’t have the energy to care. Because right there, right in front of him, was you. You you you. “Belladonna?”
You smiled, scrubbing away the tears that managed to fall from your eyes. “Hey, Samu.” You were levitating. Literally floating in the air. “I…”
You moved until your feet were both planted on the rooftop, dropping to your knees immediately after so your nearly-hyperventilating boyfriend could wrap you in his arms.
Dazai was trembling like a leaf, fingers gripping and releasing you over and over. When he tried to speak, nothing would come out- only short sobs.
“I’m so sorry I scared you like that, but when I saw you about to fall knowing you didn’t have an ability that could help, I…” You breathed in sharply, “I couldn’t let you die, Osamu. You were not going to die on me. I wouldn’t allow it- I won’t allow it. We still have so much time together and goddamnit no one is going to take away a single second of it.”
Osamu pulled back enough to look you in the eyes; you were terrified. Terrified and consoling him- apologizing for scaring him. “Y/n, I love you so fucking much. You have nothing to apologize for, my love, thank you for saving me.”
The hacker did get away, making Fukuzawa send Ranpo and Kunikida on another mission to capture him, but Dazai didn’t care. You were safe— he was safe. In your arms.
Once the shock of almost dying and then thinking he lost you melted away, Dazai was ecstatic at your uncovered secret
He was so interested in your ability and practically begged you to tell him all about it; he didn’t even care why you didn’t tell him before
He knew now. And the smile on your face as you made things levitate around you to show him made him beam
Fyodor
Of Monsters And Men (siren/manipulation by song)
The DoA had invested in a deal with a rather shady party. No one was actually expecting the guy to go through with it, so imagine everyone’s surprise when he showed up at the meeting
It went smoothly for the first 30 minutes or so, but eventually like everyone originally expected, the guy refused the deal’s terms
He’d been fidgeting since he arrived and when he denied the deal, his hand pulled out a knife from his coat pocket and aimed it right at Fyodor
All eyes were on the, admittedly impressive, knife and who it was aimed at. Fyodor just stood there with his eyebrows raised while Nikolai sat perched on the table with a grin. Sigma began to slowly rise from his chair when the knife was drawn back but everyone stopped their movements when your voice rang out.
“Come little children, I’ll take thee away, into a land of enchantment.” Your tone was airy, persuasive, and directed at the man with a knife (if your sharp gaze was anything to go off of).
The man’s eyes instantly glassed over and his hand faltered, gaze averting from Fyodor to you.
“Follow sweet children, I’ll show thee the way,” you motioned your hand towards yourself, urging him to come closer, “Through all the pain and the sorrows.”
He staggered right to you, past a clapping Nikolai, a gaping Sigma, and a widened-eyes Fyodor. The man swayed when he came to a stop in front of you, gazing at you like you were his god.
“Weep not poor children, for life is this way.” You held your hand out, smiling when he placed the knife in your hands. “Hush now dear children, it must be this way.” You quickly shoved the blade into his jugular, yanking it across the expanse throat.
Nikolai whistled, having already known about your ability. He jumped off the table and leaned into a bow, “There you have it gentlemen! What a show!”
You snorted, bowing back to him, “No one tries to hurt my Fedya.” Skipping right up to said man, you wrapped your arms around his neck, giggling when Sigma started to stammer out questions.
“You- but you- and he- but you don’t- how did you- when- what.”
Nikolai and you both were cackling, winking at each other before the meeting was officially dismissed. As you parted ways and began to walk to your respective homes, a strong grip encased your hip.
“Interesting ‘show’, Milaya.”
It was a rather tense walk home for you as you didn’t know what he was thinking behind that blank expression on his face; you swear you were almost knee deep in your own coffin
Fyodor wasn’t necessarily angry you didn’t tell him about your ability before, but he did interrogate you about it for over an hour
Fortunately, he was down right fascinated- demanding you demonstrate it to him by making him come to you like you did the man
You got to sit in his lap as you explained how it worked, enjoying the attention you received with happy hums in between sentences
Chuuya
The Gods’ Golden Ichor (blood manipulation)
A foreign ability user had made their way onto the Port Mafia’s hit list— a top lister. The boss had gotten tipped off that the foreigner was in Yokohama, but they’d be leaving tonight
In an effort to save some time (and trouble), Mori sent you and Chuuya to go capture or kill said ability user. The ability itself was unknown, you only knew that it was powerful
But you were suspicious when they looked pleased, thrilled even, at Chuuya’s appearance and only when they kept trying to get close to him did it dawn on you
“Stay back, Chuu!” You ignored his confused look and stepped in front of him, blocking the ability user’s path to him. “They’re going to try and bring out your corruption form.”
They chuckled, “A sharp one, aren’t you?” Their gaze fell to Chuuya once more, eyeing him up and down before glancing back at you.
Your teeth gritted as you got ready for a fight, but they were fast. Before you could even blink, they were already right beside you both, hand stretched out to touch your boyfriend.
“You lose.”
Chuuya’s eyes widened, feet tripping over themselves to move back. He couldn’t fight— they had to touch him to activate their ability, right? Chuuya’s own ability covered him as he got ready to throw some debris around, but someone beat him to the punch.
The ability user’s outstretched hand had been bent backwards at the wrist. Their face morphed into one of pain as each one of their fingers bent in an odd direction. Six different snaps echoed in the air, sending them to the floor, screaming in pain.
You scoffed, staring down at them as you crossed your arms. “You sure are confident for a scrub.” Your head tilted to the right, making their head do the same. “I outta snap your neck and be done with it, but we need to take you in alive now.”
The Black Lizards made themselves known, moving to apprehend the user. They asked for clearance to leave, heading back to the base when it was granted, leaving you and Chuuya alone in silence.
“Chuu?” You bit the inside of your cheek, reaching out to close the wound on his cheek with your ability. “…Chuuya?”
His azure eyes met yours, feeling the deafening silence envelop the two of you. “Y/n…”
Is actually kinda hurt you didn’t tell him about this before. Chuuya has major trust issues, but he trusts you with his life- with his entire being- and everything else in his life, so why didn’t you trust him enough to tell him about this part of you?
Though his heart promptly breaks right then and there when you tell him that, with an ability like yours that could potentially take down the entire Port Mafia, you didn’t want him to be forced to choose between you or the job he loves should Mori ever deem you an enemy
Then he’s hugging you so, so close; assuring you about how much he trusts you and that he knows you’d never betray him or the PM like that. It’s a really intimate moment for Chuuya- to say all these things out loud to you. And he doesn’t regret it, especially not when you reply with ‘I trust you and I love you’
When everything is said and done, he’s hyped! He thought you were freaking badass back there and he’s not afraid to admit he adored being saved by you. Will certainly be asking Mori to assign you more missions together : Chuuya wants to see everything you can do
Akutagawa
See No Evil In The Dark (light manipulation)
You weren’t thrilled about going on a mission with Dazai. You adored Atsushi, but Dazai? Absolutely not. He knew more about you than anyone else did and that didn’t sit right with you; it made you unsettled.
But you had a mission to do either way and you couldn’t just not do it because of who you were joined by. Plus, Ryu still looked up to Dazai and you weren’t gonna ruin that for him.
It was your and Ryu’s job to cover the east and west side while Atsushi and Dazai covered the north and south. When you met back up, one of you had been tagged and followed, so you all ended up being surrounded. And like you’ suspected, Dazai took control of the opportunity presented.
Dazai glanced over at you knowingly, spreading his hands out like he was presenting you the finest thing on earth. “Well, Y/n? Now’s your chance to show off what you’ve been hiding all these years~”
You glared, audibly cursing out the brunette as you shot a beam of light at a few of the men surrounding the four of you. “How about you mind your own stupid business, Osamu.” Intentionally avoiding Akutagawa’s gaze, you stepped forward with balls of light in your palms, “Fuckin-A.”
“E-eh?!” Atsushi was left gaping with his tiger arms waving around, eyes shooting from you, fighting, to Akutagawa, who was left with a clear expression of shock slapped on his face. “D-did you know about this?!”
“Obviously not.” His voice was normal, and as he moved to summon Rashomon, his usual blank expression returned, but he was practically roaring on the inside. “Rashomon : Sawarabi!”
Grinning, you looked over just in time to see the spikes erupt from the ground and impale over half the men in that direction. A man grabbed you while you were distracted with your boyfriend’s ability, yanking you back by your hair and kicking the back of your knee.
“So we’re gonna have four ability users to sell instead of three, huh? Guess it’s our lucky day.”
“Think again, bastard.” You attacked with ‘starburst’, laughing when your light exploded in his face. “DAZAI! CODE WHITE!”
Said man blinked before running to grab both Atsushi and Akutagawa, bringing them to the ground with him, and covering their eyes as he closed his own. “ROGER!” Dazai pulls the duo towards him a little harder when they begin to struggle, “Don’t open your eyes until they tell you to.”
A bright light blanketed the area, blinding the few men that were still standing and the rest that were still conscious. A quiet ringing buzzed in everyone’s head for a moment before it went silent and a soft ‘open your eyes’ reached the three men’s ears.
“Y/n?” Akutagawa looked up, taking in your swaying and paleness. ‘Trouble’ he thought as he moved to pick you up in his arms.
Akutagawa, first and foremost, is worried about your well-being. He sees you’re taken care of (by himself of course) before he even dares do anything else
Promptly after your color has returned, he’s on your ass : brows furrowed and tone sharp as he demands why you hadn’t told him of your ability before hand
It’s less about not telling him and more about your safety and the thought of you fainting or something because you overused your ability without him knowing it even existed scareshim
Ryunosuke is easily assured by your soft touches as he holds you tightly against him. You tell him everything about your ability willingly, smiling when he mutters something about being “the light to his darkness”
Atsushi
Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing (hidden wolf traits i.e sharper nails, sharp k-nines, faster agility)
The Ada was tasked with finding and capturing a band of human traffickers, specifically, ones that trafficked ability users
As ability users themselves, most of the Ada had to be careful. This became a stealth mission- one you had to successfully complete. And it was faring relatively well…
…until you all got separated. You were lucky enough to have been inside their hq, having found out exactly what they wanted. Unfortunately, what they wanted was Atsushi, and you weren’t letting that happen
Atsushi had been backed into a corner, rendered helpless by the drugs already administered in his body.
“Now, now, don’t worry boy.” The leader held up a syringe filled with blue liquid, “It’ll only pinch for just a second, but you’ll be out like a light afterwards.”
A deep growl weaves throughout the area, setting off primal alarm bells in the men’s heads. “Get. Away. From. My. Tiger.” A flash of h/c shot forward and the syringe shattered.
Atsushi was left gaping, eyes widening when you stood up from your crouched position in front of him. He couldn’t tell if he was more concerned about the growl you’d let out or the four bleeding slashes trailing down the leader’s face.
You smiled, showing off your sharpened k-nines, grimacing when blood spurted onto your face. “Disgusting…Just sit and rest, Sushi. I got you.”
He didn’t respond, couldn’t, as you were quick to get back into action. And when he said quick, he meant quick. You moved like you were meant to be an animal instead of a human— so agile, so graceful.
Every single human trafficker present was shredded by your nails, which to Atsushi, looked like those pointed acrylics rather than actual claws. Each of them hit the ground and not one of them got back up.
The rest of the Ada had long since found the two of you, choosing to sit back and let you finish the mission. Yosano gave Atsushi an antidote of sorts to help regain motor movement, meaning he could pull you into his arms when you were finished.
You scratched his scalp, letting out a deep rumble akin to a cat’s purr. “They’re not dead, I knocked them all out so we can capture them like instructed.”
Dazai laughed, patting Ranpo- who obviously was aware of this- on the back before doing the same to Atsushi. “You got a little wolf as a partner! How cute! I guess dogs and cats do get along after all.”
Atsushi looked up at you, noting how your k-nines and nails were normal again. “Wolf?”
The first thing he does, naturally, is thank you for saving him. Like Dazai, Atsushi completely looks over the fact that you never told him about your ability before and focuses solely on the fact that he knows now
And he’s just so in awe of you (not like he wasn’t before, mind you). He politely asks to see your ability up close and he’ll examine every aspect of it with a soft smile.
Not only is he glad he’s not the only one with an animal based ability, he’s assured by the fact that you have those animalistic instincts too. Atsushi is very curious, then, on how they differ with the whole “dog and cat” thing.
He’s kinda sad you can’t actually turn into a wolf, but he’s still giddy at the whole ability thing nonetheless. He’ll spend the whole night asking about it if you let him, and Atsushi is certainly not above begging you to scratch his scalp with your ‘claws’
Ranpo
Feed The Machine (metal manipulation)
You, Ranpo, Kenji, and Kunikida were sent on a simple “who done it” murder investigation. It was a town over from Yokohama, meaning you had to take the train
It was an uneventful ride, with you and Kunikida directing the other two children. You’d even made it without incident almost all the way to the police station
A block or two away, someone- who Ranpo deemed as the case’s murderer- stopped the four of you at gunpoint. And it seems like they knew all about the Ada members
While being held at gunpoint should’ve warranted more…shocked expressions, the most any of you could muster up was a ‘are-you-kidding-me-right-now’ look. Ranpo, of course, was still smiling and apparently that didn’t sit right with the perpetrator.
“Bastard! Who the hell are you smiling at?” When Ranpo said nothing, they shook in anger, “Well you won’t be smiling for long, non-abilityuser.”
Hearing that made everyone’s expression crack. How the hell did they-?! The gun fired, causing Kenji and Kunikida to yell as they ran towards Ranpo in what seemed like slow motion. Said man watched the bullet fly closer and closer, green hues widening when you jumped in front of him.
Your mouth was pulled into a sneer, hand stretched out, when the bullet inverts in on itself and falls to the floor only 2 feet away. “If I’m not touching the metal, I have to know its exact composition before I manipulate it with my mind. If you wanted to surprise someone, you shouldn’t have chosen a common police gun.” You give a wry smile, “Trash.”
At the flick of your wrist, the perpetrator’s gun shakes and explodes, no doubt sending third degree burns up their arm. They’re screaming, practically throwing a fit because you weren’t supposed to have an ability. It wasn’t in your file- there was no evidence of previous use!
Ranpo is also left in a state of shock; not only has your ability never been filed or mentioned anywhere, he didn’t even suspect you had one. Yet here you were bending street signs and lamp posts to your will, effortlessly caging the perpetrator.
You huffed, dusting off your hands, before walking back over to your boyfriend. “Ranpo, you alright?” Frowning at his silence, you turned and waved Kunikida off, “I’ll stay here and make sure he doesn’t get out of my little cage. Go get the police.”
Kunikida looked worried for a second, quickly shaking it off and telling Kenji to follow. The smaller male patted the metal of the cage, scolding the inhabitant, before waving to you and running after the other.
You fidgeted, grabbing a small piece of metal off the ground and manipulating it into a heart, “Forgive me?” You handed it to him hesitantly.
Ranpo is shell-shocked. The first thing that comes out of his mouth is a loud “YOU HAVE AN ABILITY?!” He gets over his shock relatively quick, only to replace it with a majorpout
You didn’t tell him? Why not?? How could you keep something so awesome away from him? More importantly : how the fuck did he not figure it out?! Really, all you gotta do is kiss his pout away for him to bounce back to excited little kid
Then he’s talking 90 miles a minute about how cool your ability is and how awesome you are and it “only makes sense you’re so awesome since you’re dating such a great detective!” But at the end of the day, when you’re both back at home, he’s quiet and soft-spoken as he thanks you for saving him
Whether or not you give a reason as to why you kept your ability a secret, he’s giddy at the fact you shared it with him- and by saving him, no less. And he truly does think it, and especially you, are amazing
warnings : mentions of blood, death, suicide, and abuse
synopsis : the nightmares that plagued them made them tired all the time, and you were tired of seeing them not get the sleep they deserved, so you decided to take matters into your own hands
a/n : remake! also I know how ‘No Longer Human’ works, I just wanted to include Dazai anyway because I really liked it, so let’s just pretend~ <3
Ability Name : ‘Dream Beneath the Vast Open Skies’ allows the user to see into someone’s dreams as well as take those dreams away and replace it with one of their own thought, but in doing so, they must endure the stolen dreams themselves
-
Dazai
It wasn’t anything new— Dazai’s nightmares. They were common, as sad as it was to say, but you were always told “Just wake me up, okay Bella? Being held in your arms will make it all go away!”
And while he did find comfort in your arms, you knew it didn’t just miraculously make all of his pain go away. You couldn’t just idly sit around anymore; you knew how Dazai’s ability worked but what kind of partner are you if you didn’t even try?
So, when Dazai started to fidget in his sleep again, brows furrowed, you slung your book to the side and shuffled closer to him. Taking in a deep breath, you prayed to whatever god may be out there and placed your hands over his head, activating your ability
It was dark for a while, making your hope diminish, but then things started to change. Reality around you shifted and you could feel the familiar feeling of your ability at work. You’d succeeded- it didn’t cancel out
The first thing you saw, or first person, rather, was Dazai. One eye was covered with a bandage, clothes all blacked out. He was much shorter now- maybe 13 or 14- and you were honestly tempted to smile at smaller him until a sickening sound sent chills down your spine
Whipping around, you saw a man with shoulder length hair looking straight at Dazai, blood splattered all over his face. His smile made you uneasy, but the scene changed when his voice reached your ears
Now you stood beside a slightly taller Dazai. In front of him was an auburn-haired male who had no shine in his eyes. The man turned, walking away, causing Dazai to reach out for him in vain; the desperation in Dazai’s voice as he called for him broke your heart
And suddenly you were kneeling in a new setting, in front of Dazai who held the same man from before in his arms— he was bleeding. The horror in your lover’s eyes made your own start to water and the tears finally fell when Dazai cried out at the loss of his friend
When Dazai woke, he had a grin on his face as he sat up and stretched. He felt so refreshed, so energized! The dream about him and his belladonna played in his mind still and he was so excited to share it with you
Though the excitement dissipated at the sounds of your sobbing, making his blood run cold. His head shot to the side, not seeing you in your spot, so he scrambled out of bed frantically, only to find you curled into a ball on the floor
“Belladonna?! What’s wrong, my love?!”
Did something happen? Were you hurt? Dazai was about to question you again, but you looked up, and his heart shattered
Your eyes held so much torment, the skin around them blotched and puffy. The tears didn’t stop, nor did your sobbing, even as you choked out your response
“I’mso sorry you had to go through all of that, Osamu.”
Dazai was left confused for just a moment before his eyes were widening in shock. “You…you used your ability on me? It worked?” He stared at you incredulously, mind not being able to catch up all the way
You were beginning to quiet down as you nodded, trying and failing to wipe the tears from your cheeks. “I replaced your nightmares with a dream of me and you…I figured that would be more enjoyable, I just…I just wanted you to be able to get some rest.”
“Don’t you have to endure the dreams you steal to be able to replace them?!”
“…yes.”
Osamu was completely mortified at the thought, heart clenching almost painfully. He watched in silence as you finally scrubbed away the last of your tears before your hands came up to cradle his face softly
“It’s okay, ‘Samu. You don’t know how happy it makes me to be able to take some of your pain away, even if it’s just for a night.”
He didn’t reply. He couldn’t reply- what would he say? You just witnessed the darkest memories he kept buried underneath all his bravado. So instead he pulled you closer and held you tighter
The two of you stayed tangled up on the floor well into the morning, not daring to move even as your phones began flashing Kunikida’s name
And when you both got up to get ready, Dazai’s heart slowly swelled with love. Despite being concerned about your well-being after witnessing his nightmares, he couldn’t deny how he felt knowing you loved him enough to want to endure anything and everything he carried alone
Bonus; that night :
You woke up in a cold sweat, heart pounding alarmingly against your rib cage. You laid there panting for a few seconds before noticing the feeling of someone watching you
Your head turned to the side, eyes meeting Dazai’s wide ones. He, too, was in a cold sweat, chest rising up and down sporadically. His brown hues held so much pain while yours reflected worry
Quickly, your hand found his beneath the covers. You intertwined your fingers and squeezed, letting him know you were there. “Tell me about Odasaku?”
Dazai smiled. It was small, but genuine. “Of course.”
Atsushi
It truly broke your heart to see Atsushi be affected by his past while both awake and asleep. You wanted to be mad at the world for what happened to him but Atsushi was kind, and he wouldn’t want you to be upset for him
So you settled with comforting him the best you could whenever he needed it. And it seemed he needed it the most as of late, with constant nightmares plaguing him every time he laid his head down to rest
But this time, when Atsushi began to whimper and cry, you sleepily sat up and wiped his tears away. You hushed him softly before activating your ability, welcoming the shift of reality as you worked to cure his nightmares, at least for tonight
When you first entered his mind, you were in a dark, dirty cell. The coldness seeped through your bare feet and with a start, you realized that if you were cold, then Atsushi must’ve been freezing
He was little, covered only in bland grey clothing, which were the equivalent of rags. His tiny form was trembling from the cold and your eyes landed on the chain hooked around his ankle, no doubt making him even colder
You wanted to envelop him in your arms to try and warm him up, but before you could move even a centimeter, the scene changed. Little Atsushi was now balled up on the hard floor, crying. Every sliver of skin you could see had bruises that got worse with each kick and slap that was delivered to his body
By the time the scenery changed again, you felt like you were about to be sick. The light from the colored glass above made you recoil but your body seized up when you heard three pairs of voices
They were yelling disgusting profanities at someone you didn’t even need to see to know who it was. You’d heard of this specific moment from Atsushi himself, but hearing it for yourself made you choke up
Atsushi had been smiling long before he woke, head nuzzling into your scented pillow with a purr before stretching. He’d had the perfect dream about you, him, and the agency laughing and dining together
Still giddy from the dream, he hummed at your absence from the bed, “Maybe they’re making breakfa-” Atsushi paused. It was quiet and muffled, but his unnatural hearing ability picked up on the sound of you crying
He immediately began to panic, practically flying out of the door and tripping on his way to the living room while in his half tiger state
You were leaning on the armrest of the couch with your head buried in your knees. Your head lifted at the sound of pounding footsteps, lips curling at the corners when Atsushi’s face melted into a relieved expression
“Good morning, my tiger. Did you have a nice dream?”
The question made him stop ungracefully in his tracks, “How did you know?” Was it thatobvious?
Your lips formed a full smile, despite the pained look in your eyes, and you even managed to let out a giggle. “Well, I did create it. I was hoping you’d enjoy it as opposed to what you…normally dream of.”
Atsushi paled, and if he had cat ears, they’d most certainly be laid back against his head. “W-what…?” He let out a shaky exhale, “D-dazai mentioned once that your ability had something to do with the mind…s-something with, with dreams. Did you…”
You lifted yourself off the couch, body instinctively going to console him at his wavering tone, “I did use my ability on you, yes. You deserve rest, ‘Sushi, and I’m happy to shoulder your pain alongside you.”
“Shoulder it with me?”
Your eyes looked anywhere but him, “I…I have to endure the dreams, or nightmares, I steal from someone to be able to replace them with my own.”
Atsushi felt his heart sink
“But I don’t regret it, not for a second! You deserve every bit of love, support, and happiness this world has to offer, and I will give you every single ounce of those three things I possibly can.”
Even now, he began to blush. His mind was worried for you after having to see those memories, but his heart wanted to drown you in the love and affection he felt for you
So Atsushi did. He sat with you in his arms on the couch, singing you praises and compliments. When the birds stopped their song, and Atsushi finally got quiet again, he whispered a single “thank you”
Bonus; that night:
Hearingyourself scream should be enough to rouse anyone, but you and Atsushi woke up to each other’s screams that night. The silence was deafening as you stared at each other
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you opened your arms, motioning for your shaking boyfriend to come closer. “I-It’s okay, ‘Sushi. I was right there with you. I’m right here with you, I promise.”
He was still breathing heavily as he curled into your embrace, soft sobs being muffled into the fabric of your shirt. When the tears stopped, and his heartbeat slowed to match yours, he let out a shaky breath, “Thank you.”
Chuuya
Much like Dazai, Chuuya always told you “I’m fine, just wake me up when it happens again, alright? You’re already making me feel so much better, baby, I know you’ll make it better again.”
But seeing him come home exhausted day after day from work and then not be able to get any sleep just to do it all over again when he woke up made you frustrated. The feeling of failing him crawled its way into your mind- you could help! You knew you could
So you decided you didn’t care what Chuuya said. And when he began to thrash and shout in his sleep again, you blindly grabbed his hand, placing a kiss on the skin, before activating your ability
When reality stopped spinning, darkness was the only thing you saw. Your vision wasn’t picking up on anything, but you could hear; voices you didn’t recognize laying out the truth behind Chuuya’s childhood, or lack thereof. The last thing you heard was “A5158” before you finally could see again
You were at a gravesite beside a cliff. Your eyes landed on Chuuya, though his hair was shorter than you’ve ever seen it. It made you smile as you watched his interaction with his silver-headed friend- until he was stabbed; a poisoned blade, the kid said
Your breath hitched and you moved to run towards him when a group came out from behind the bushes with guns, but the scene melted away. Now you stood in a building, you think. The only source of light was a glowing jeweled fortress of sorts. You stood a little bit away from Chuuya and who you assumed was Dazai
A white-haired man sat inside the fortress, who Chuuya was cursing and yelling at. Your boyfriend demanded his comrades be returned but instead received the news that they had killed themselves. Your heart sunk for him but Chuuya showed no outward despair- only anger
His gloves and sleeves were shredded under his ability, red abstract lines crawling onto his arms and face. His irises got smaller, more feral, before the floor beneath him cracked and corruption fully activated. You stood in the middle of it all as the building exploded, sight going blurry, with only Chuuya’s enraged screams to guide you
When he woke up, he felt refreshed, mind still playing back the lovely dream he’d had. But Chuuya could feel that something was wrong. His head snapped over to your side of the bed, seeing you sitting up
You were staring at the covers blankly, fingers twisting and turning in the fabric. Your eyes were red from the tears that kept flowing out like a waterfall
Without hesitation Chuuya was by your side, cradling your face while frantically throwing out questions. “Are you okay, Baby? What happened? Are you hurt- did someone hurt you?”
His words caught in his throat when you began tracing his face, fingertips gliding over his face in a pattern. It was only when you trailed down his neck to his arms and hands did he realize what pattern you were tracing
And it instantly sent his heart plummeting to the pit of his stomach. “You didn’t…did you?”
Your lips quirked up, eyes softening, “Did you like the dream I picked out, Chuu? I made it especially for you.”
He stuttered, lips denying him the words he so desperately wanted to say. So instead he tugs you onto his lap in a tight embrace
And, like always, you understood his actions as words. “I will always be here to support the weight of your pain, Chuuya. You don’t ever have to do anything alone- not with me.”
Bonus; that night:
There wasn’t a single sound as your eyes snapped open to meet Chuuya’s, which had turned from frantic to worried. The same scenes played in both of your minds, but that was okay
You just smiled at him, wiping the sweat from your foreheads. “S’alright, Chuu. We’re okay. You’re okay.” Grabbing his hand, you placed it over your heart
He smiled back, slowly forgetting about his nightmares as he focused solely on you. “You are an angel and Iamso grateful for you.” And maybe neither of you went back to sleep that night, but he had you, and that was all he needed
Akutagawa
Akutagawa has severe trust issues, so it took a long time before he even entertained the idea of sharing the same bed as you- and a long time still for him to sleep any other way than back to back
So naturally, when you found out he had night terrors, you weren’t exactly sure what to do. They were bad, if the way his hand ended up around your throat the first time you woke him showed for anything. You didn’t want to invade his space by using your ability, but…
Listening to him shout in his sleep and watching him wake up, visibly exhausted, was slowly killing you. You had the ability to help, and you were going to. No matter the outcome
It was around 3 am and you were seated at the kitchen bar when you heard Ryu begin to shout. Quickly, you padded your way to the bedroom and placed your hands on his temples, rubbing soothing circles on the skin
Your ability activated and reality shifted, bringing you to a dark, dreary alleyway. The faint moldy smell made your nose scrunch before your eyes landed on a boy rummaging through freshly thrown out trash. He was small and frail, maybe 6 or 7; It was Ryu
A wobbly smile appeared on his face when he found bits of nice scrap before he was scrambling away towards an even smaller little girl. The alleyway walls closed in, merging the colors until you found yourself…somewhere
You could tell you were outside, at least. In front of you was Ryu, a bit taller than he was previously. In front of him was a man you easily recognized as Dazai from his Port Mafia days. The ingenuine smile on his face made you scowl as he reached a hand out for Akutagawa
When he stepped forward and took Dazai’s hand, the scenery melted away. Now you were in a dark warehouse with Ryu and Dazai in front of you once more. Your scowl shifted into a look of horror as you watched Akutagawa hit the floor, blood spilling out of his mouth. The words “you’re weak.” echoed in the air as Ryu coughed violently
When Akutagawa woke, he didn’t focus on the dream he had, lovely as it may have been. His focus was on the coldness he felt beside him as he sat up and looked around for you
He strode into the kitchen, finding you with your back to him while sipping on what he assumed was coffee. Ryu’s lips quirked up as he wrapped his arms around your middle, but the feeling of liquid splashing on his hand made him frown
He was quick to turn you around, “Y/n?” His eyes widened.
Your eyes were puffy and the fresh tears were washing away the old tear tracks. They slowly focused, scanning over his face in surprise like you didn’t realize he was there. Shaky hands grasped his and he snapped out of his shock
“Who did this to you?” Akutagawa’s rough hands wiped away your tears with as much gentleness as he could, “I’ll kill them for you.”
“I believe that would lose its purpose if you killed me forme.”
He let those words sink in, eyes staring holes into yours, “What?”
Your eyes lit up in amusement for a few seconds at the comedic display of his emotions, “You once told me there was a field of flowers you took Gin to for her birthday one year. I hope I recreated it just as prettily as the one you really went to.”
Akutagawa’s hands begin to tremble, faintly remembering the flower field in his dream. His fingertips pressed into your skin before his hands were sliding down your face to grasp your jaw
“Did you use your ability on me?” His voice was full of panic.
You didn’t have to answer him. You could tell he already knew. “I did.” Your hands came up to rest over his, “I love you, Ryunosuke. You don’t have to shoulder all of your pain alone.”
He just stared at you for a while, watching your brows slowly start to furrow, “Though I do have half the mind to march into the detective agency and beat Dazai into the floor.”
That made him chuckle, head shaking at your ability to make him laugh even in a situation like this. “Wouldn’t that be a sight.” The mere thought made his chest all fuzzy, knowing you would go to any length just to protect him
Bonus; that night:
A sharp phantom pain made you jolt awake. Your breaths came out labored, brain confused at the lack of real pain; it could’ve sworn your ribs were cracked…
Your eyes darted up to Ryu, whose chest was heaving with those same labored breaths. His head moved to the side so he could look at you in confusion
You just shook your head, moving closer until his head was resting on your chest. “I’m here.” Your hands rubbed at his own chest, soothing over his ribs reassuringly
Akutagawa took in a shaky breath, “Don’t leave me.” his body relaxed when you responded with “never.”
A/N: [repost beacause of tag issues] Having tried to write fluff and failing three times, this is the closest I got, just a rather soft and comforting scenario for Dazai because I’ve been really craving that with him. It’s a little different from my usual fics since I tend to gravitate towards writing established relationship which is not the case here so it’s an experiment you can say.
Spring swept in quietly with a breeze, quieting the whispers of winter and filling the air with the lullaby of her song. She came almost unnoticed, painting his mornings with the sound of birds, adorning each day with the sweet smell of flowers, extending the days until darkness fell. Every moment felt even more fleeting as the world evolved so swiftly around him. Yet, still trapped with the feeling akin to a hole in his heart gnawing with emptiness, Dazai could only wonder if these feelings would ever change.
But even as Spring swept into his life without a care for his sentiments, livening the world around him, but seemingly falling just slightly out of his grasp to change him along with it, he couldn’t bring it in him to fall into contempt. Not when it meant having you sitting beside him, with sunlight filtering through the leaves shining against your hair, light in your eyes as life returned to the Earth after the winter, and a wide smile on your face while you spoke to him picnicking among the flowers.
“Dazai,“ slipping out of his thoughts when he heard his name leaving your lips, a fond smile found its way to his lips. He admits that it caught him slightly off guard, how he finds himself showing some of his true emotions around you even when he is so often wearing such well-practised masks, with his walls up against the world. But when alone with you by his side and filled with tender feelings for you…
"Why don’t we make a wish?” He carefully observed you as you picked two dandelions from around you and held up one to him to take before taking a seat back next to him. "Did you know, they say that if you can blow off all the pappus in one breath your wish will come true?”
Though Dazai was not one to believe in superstitions. Watching you next to him, blowing the dandelion puffs into the sky with a small smile on your face, as if without a care in the world in that singular moment. With the two of you away from the bustling sounds of the cars in the city, and the sky rise buildings that he was so used to looming over him. It felt almost peaceful, like a daydream. And Dazai couldn’t help but feel that there was almost something domestic and even precious about this moment with you that he wants nothing but to cherish and protect, even if it meant from his own negative thoughts.
But seeing so clearly as the pappus float away from you slowly, there was a sense of poignancy that filled him at the elusiveness of them, like a deep sense of longing to hold on to them but never quite able to as if a reminder for Dazai of the people whom he had lost. And gazing at you with faraway eyes, he could only wish that it will not happen with you.
Hearing you usher him to do the same, he could only put on his usual smile to hide his true thoughts before replicating your movements.
As the pappus on his dandelion slowly floats away from him with a puff of his breath with a hint of despondency. Dazai soon noticed a few of the seeds clinging onto the dandelion, refusing to let go.
“Ahh, it seems my wish won’t come true!” Though a dramatic whine filled his voice which he knew would make you laugh, he felt quite differently inside. Even if he felt in slightly low spirits earlier, the sight of the dandelion dissipated those feelings.
“But it’s alright, for now, I already have everything I need.” His sincere thoughts left his lips, with a small smile accompanying it.
Though acutely conscious of being but a small part in an uncaring universe, Dazai found himself reminded, it is not a cruel one. And maybe he can find it in him to soften upon companionship again. And perhaps even intimacy.
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When we are born, we gain everything. Then, as we grow up, we tend to lose up a bit of our magic. I’m talking about that magic that makes you wanna stare into the sky for a while. That kind of magic that brings out the sparkle in your eyes when you laugh. And it’s that magic that gave you your dreams.
What happens when you lose it?
“That’s the stupidest thing I have ever heard, Dazai.”
”Come on, don’t tell me you never believed in this soulmate kind of thing.”
It was an unusual day for you, really. Dazai has been so fixated about the concept of soulmates that had made you lose your temper multiple times today.
“I’m not saying you’re wrong, I just think it is silly of you to believe in fairytales.”- you roll your eyes, an ironic laugh escaping your mouth.
“How can I not believe in fairytales when you look like you came straight out of one? - Dazai says and his eyes threw an arrow on yours. He had definitely grabbed your attention now.
“You have that magic, - he whispers as he puts away some strands of hair out of your face, revealing daring eyes that stared into his. - a magic that very few posses.“
You two are lost into each other’s eyes. As his lips try to approach yours, you turn away, leaving him a bit surprised.
”What magic are you talking about?”- you turn your back on him, looking forward to his answer.
“I have lost many things in my life, but I could never have the strength that you have, your sincerity… But i think that the real magic lays somewhere else…”
There‘s a pause and knowing Dazai, you are ready to throw hands at him.
”A lot of people have a good heart, but very few posses a heart of gold. And you have it. A heart that feels what people can’t. A heart full of pain but decorated like a garden full of light and beauty. That’s your magic, love. You have a light in your heart that never shatters. A magic that’s never lost.”
Maybe a tear rolled down your cheeks, and you smiled knowing fully well that this was the most honest you could ever see Dazai.
“A magic that’s never lost uh? - you wipe away a tear, bite your lip and turn to face him. - You think too highly of me.”
”I think highly of no one. That is the reality.” - with hands on his pockets, Dazai heads towards the exit. He had a peaceful expression on and his eyes were almost closed.
”About that soulmate thing, - you grab his coat, making him turn towards you,- maybe it’s not a fairytale after all.”
Dazai opens his eyes wide and smiles.
”What made you change your mind?”- with a smirk and wiggly eyebrows, you push his face away from yours and avoid his gaze that had began to make you feel nervous.
”Because I think we have the same magic, Dazai.”
He stares at you for a while, thinking about all that he said.
Were you applying he had a golden heart? A beautiful soul? A magic that is never lost?
”You are truly fascinating, - he replies. - if it’s really like you say, then we will stay together for a while.”
He opens the exit door and looks back with a smile.
”Looking forward to it.”- you smile back and Dazai leaves the room.
Your relieved sigh echoed through the room. Your heartbeat calmed down and your eyes shifted to a nearby window. Dazai was always like this, cheeky and loving. On his way home, your words stayed on his head. ”Because I think we have the same magic, Dazai.”
He smiles to himself and walks on a bridge, staring at a river. “Not today, I have something to look forward to.”
A silent wind blew and leaves started to leave the trees. Dazai stared at it all with much awe, and decided to stay.
”Maybe you should stop staring at him like that.”- your best friend in the agency, a charming boy with distinctive orange hair claims as he lends you a glass of champagne. The whole armed Detective Agency were having a celebration and Dazai was in the middle of it all.
”I’m just glad he’s back.”- you say while taking a sip of the cold champagne.
”Yeah, - Junichirou glances at you - maybe you should say that to him yourself.”
You scoff and laugh for a moment. Patting Junichiro‘s shoulder, you make your way out of the room to get some air. Your friend calls your name and you hesitate to respond.
”I’ll be outside for a while.”
Junichiro‘s worries eyes accompanied your figure until you disappeared from his sight. With your glass of champagne you toast:
”For him. For Dazai.”
As the champagne runs down your throat, your mind gets rushing with thought.
The thing is, Dazai was released from prison just a few days ago. After all that happened, you were glad to see him once more. But then, you remembered what he said the last time he talked to you.
”You like me?- Dazai raises his eyebrows and sraches the back of his neck. - Well…
Multiple women have confessed to him befor. He wasn’ t embarrassed nor flustered. He was just, confused.
”I’m really sorry but, I can’t return your feelings.”
Just like that, you found yourself rejected. Suddenly the champagne tasted bitter and you stopped drinking. There was music playing inside. Oh, how much you loved music and yet it seemed rather bothersome to the silent pain of your heart. You couldn’t get over him so easily. Dazai‘s not a man one can forget easily. He’s unpredictable, incomprehensible, strange human being. Human, dare I say.
Oh, but to you he’s more than that. He’s a man of many talents, a hero of others and a villain of himself. He is a novel you’d want to read over and over again until you fully comprehend its meaning. He’s a diamond who cuts and heals your scars scars. Dazai’s your favourite symphony, one you could hear even while you’re dying.
”Tired from the party?”- my stomach leaks out butterflies when I hear his sweet voice.
”I thought it’d be better if I could get some air, outside, alone.”- you emphasised the word you hated the most, and it didn’t get past Dazai’s sharp mind. “Pardon me for interrupting your train of thought, - Dazai says and glances over your bare your shoulders. - Don’t you think that it’s a bit cold?”- he takes off his jacket and puts it on you, fingers brashly touching your skin.
”Aren’t you cold?”- you avoid sounded worried.
”Nah, I’m heated up from all the celebration. I didn’t know you guys would be so excited to have me back.”
You hesitate to speak your mind, but a few honest words managed to escape your mouth.
”I’m glad you’re back, Dazai. I’ve missed you.”
He smlies: “I’ve been told. Junichiro said you actually attempted to get me out of prison.”
”That was…. I was a bit I overwhelmed.”- you put a strand behind your hair and look away, hiding your embarrassed face.
He chuckles while shifting his eyes at the sky: “I see.”
Dazai’s hand reaches for yours and you flinch but then, a sense of familiarity hit you. It was his touch that made you feel like you bloomed again.
”Thank you, for everything.”
A sincerity like never before, a smile so strangely genuine, what had happened to Dazai while being away from you?
Although he didn’t love you back, soon enough things were about to change.
❧ DAZAI OSAMU (bsd) + Save Your Tears (The Weeknd)
everything happened so quickly.
in mere minutes, your back was on him, and behind you, trailed a suitcase and a carry-on. for once, the man is frozen, silence pouring out of his open mouth. he tried pleading (“my sweet, please, maybe we can work this out?”), reasoning out (“it’s really not like that, my love! she was just thanking me for saving her life yesterday!”), and promising (“i promise this will never happen again”).
but is that really all he’s good at?
making promises?
“please?” he gets ahold of your wrist, finally managing to detach his feet from the hardwood floor. “please.”
“dazai,” you grit, “i said, we’re done.”
you pull yourself away from him and carry yourself out the door. you know better than to look back and peer at his abysmal eyes for the last time.
it’s not like you didn’t know what you were getting yourself into when you had said “yes” to the man in question. yes to his invite for love. yes to this deathly tango. yes to drinking from a chalice lined with poison from the very start. sure, there were happy and tender moments shared, and you would be lying if you said you weren’t happy being his doting sweetheart. but you were just so very tired.
tired to have to watch him repeatedly sweep things under the rug, quite literally with a sweep of his hand, and a dismissive “oh, it’s nothing really.” women were another problem, too. he knew how plentiful of them ogle him when he walks down the sidewalk, but he still had the audacity to wink at them and blow them a kiss with one hand while holding your hand with the other. those were swept under the rug, too, of course. another file placed under the “oh come on now, that was nothing!”cabinet.
so you decided to walk away from it all. dazai could only follow you around like a dog to its master as you collected the life littered around the shared apartment unit into a single suitcase, a carry on, and a backpack.
when you exited the unit and along with it, the man you once called home, you were certain that dazai’s eyes were still on you. you wished you could say something, but was there any more to say? the last you saw of him, was the glint of disbelief and defeat in his glassy eyes, mouth slightly agape, body frozen once again. your last image of him was, quite literally, like looking at a picture of a man, forever in the process of reaching out for something, but never quite being able to do so. //
㋡ : first post woohoo!! i really like making these little scenarios paired up with songs ,,, this has been laying around in my notes app for a while and so i might as well share it here. see you!!
>> all words by aero 2021. please do not plagiarize. //
