#bsd imagines
Y/N:If you have a “vine boom moment,” you can’t just play the sound. Like, you can’t just open your computer and play the noise. You have to feel it. It has to resonate with you like the comforting words of a true love. It has to be written into the very code of your being to know when it happens, and for the feeling to be drawn upon when it is needed most and not a second before… You know what I mean?
Fyodor:Y/N.Please go to fucking bed.
Chuuya: Look at us, bickering like schoolkids, looking around the room for things to hit each other with.
Y/N: …I don’t think we were doing that.
Chuuya: Chair, lamp, plant, table leg, my leg.
Y/N, Dazai, and Atsushi:[screaming]
Kunikida, running into the room: What’s wrong, Atsushi?!
Y/N: Why are you only asking Atsushi?!
Dazai: Yeah! We’re all screaming!
Kunikida: Because Atsushi doesn’t scream unless it’s an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.
Tachihara: Well, Y/N, I guess it’s just you and me here. Want to hang out?
Narrator: And then Y/N said something to Tachihara that insulted every fiber of his being.
Y/N:Nah.
Atsushi: Wow, i didn’t even know pineapple can taste this….sour.
Kenji: is it really that sour?
Y/N: Wait, did you just say pineapple?
Atsushi: Uhh, yeah. why? You want some?
Y/N: Hold on, is there any apple that has a taste of pine?
Kenji: What are you talking about?
Y/N: My dear Kenji, I’m talking about those pine infused apple.
Atsushi: Wait what? I’m eating pineapple right now, not some sort of pine infused apple! I don’t even know what that is!
Y/N: But, you say you’re eating pineapple, which is pine with apple-
Kenji: Pineapple is that fruit where if you touch the skin, you will get stabbed.
Y/N:
Y/N: OH.
Sigma: Saw a snail today… effervescent.
Yosano: The names Practice
Yosano: Mal Practice
Y/N, holding up Kenji: Nice to meet you Dr. Practice, could you please tell me what’s wrong with my son :)
Yosano: He needs surgery on all of his bones
Y/N: Very well, here is my credit card :)
Yosano: I accept no payment I do this because I love it
Y/N: Tell me your wildest fantasy.
Tanizaki: I’m on Wheel of Fortune and I spin it so hard it lights on fire.
Y/N: No, I meant like—
Tanizaki: Everyone claps.
Y/N: Something very LGBT just happened to me.
Also Y/N: [Visibly shaken, haggard and covered in blood]
Ango: Talking about your feelings is so important.
Y/N:…
Ango: I won’t do it, but you definitely should.
Y/N:…
Y/N, on the phone: Remember how I said I was going to have a calm night?
Kunikida:…Yes?
Y/N: Well, I’m in jail.
Kunikida:[Hangs up]
Y/N, bailing Dazai out of jail: What happened?
Dazai: You’ll never believe this.
Dazai: Actually you will because you always expect the worse from me.
Y/N:Ranpo offered me his drink because I mentioned I was thirsty.
Y/N:I was not fucking expecting to take a sip of a baja blast mountain dew at 7 in the morning.
Kajii: When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Motojiro Kajii lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
Y/N: Are you crazy?!
Dazai: Legally, no. There’s not a word for my condition.
Y/N: I introduced Atsushi to Animal Jam.
Dazai: Ahhh, ‘cause he’s a tiger, I get it! …But why do you look so awfully guilty?
Y/N:Well…
Atsushi, bursting through the door, in tears:SOMEONE TOOK THE RED LONGS FROM MY INVENTORY, YOU ARE DEAD, Y/N.
Y/N: When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.
Fyodor: That’s a genius move.
Y/N: Thank you! :D
Fyodor: You’re welcome, [incorrect name.]
Elise:I get my news from the only reliable source!
Elise:Cryptic symbolism in my dreams.
Tanizaki: True warriors don’t faint. We take unintended, decisive naps.
Dazai: I think the easiest way to feel “wanted” is to simply rob a bank.
Y/N: My name is Y/N L/N, and this is-
Dazai: von Matterhorn. Lorenzovon Matterhorn.
Y/N: …Osamu Dazai.
Y/N: Sigma! Truth or dare?
Sigma:Truth!
Y/N: Was the moon landing of 1969 faked?
Sigma:What?
Y/N: Answer the question, Sigma.
Poe: So apparently feeling like something is going to go wrong is called “Anxiety” and not “Portent.”
Y/N: I need your help.
Jouno: Great, who are we killing?
Jouno: I won’t do kids. That’s a rule.
Jouno: …But the rule is negotiable if the kid’s a dick.
Atsushi: I told my partner, Y/N, that I was having an episode earlier and they replied “is it the beach episode” and it shocked me so much that it grounded me immediately.
Atsushi: I hate how you’re just born out of nowhere, and you’re forced to go to school and get education so you can get a job. What if I wanted to be a chameleon? No one ever asked me if I want to be a chameleon!
[Dazai and Y/N are doing something absurdly dangerous]
Dazai:I think Houdini did something like this once! Why, if I recall correctly, he was out of the hospital in no time!
Y/N, deadpan: Well that’s encouraging.
Y/N: *is carrying all the groceries*
Higuchi: *holds out hand to help*
Y/N: *aggressively moves all the groceries to one hand to hold Higuchi’s hand*
Dazai: I am very handsome.
Dazai: Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and think “I have committed horrible acts.”
Y/N: Your future self is hating you for the poor decisions you’re making today.
Ranpo, Kirby-inhaling all his candy: Bold of you to assume current me isn’t also hating myself for making the decisions that I am making.
Finals Week
✧･ﾟ: * Prompt ~ Kunikida, Ranpo, and Akutagawa comforting their partner through finals week ~
✧･ﾟ: * Character/Pairing ~ Kunikida, Ranpo, and Akutagawa (individually x gn!reader) ~
✧･ﾟ: * Content ~ How they would help their partner through finals, specifically walking up on their partner crying due to the stress ~
✧･ﾟ: * Type ~ Fluff, headcanons ~
✧･ﾟ: * Requested by ~ Anon~
✧･ﾟ: * Author’s Note ~ I had a lot of fun with this one, especially as I was working on my finals too. I hope you enjoy it, and it helps ! ~
✧･ﾟ: * Kunikida
❈ Doppo understands stress as much as, if not better, than anyone. That does not mean he’s going to be the best at helping you deal with it right away.
❈ From the start of the semester, he’d have an entire schedule laid out for you, but in an attempt to help you manage your time I could see him adding to the pressure more than taking away.
❈ This is why when he walks in and you’re crying, while his first reaction might be overbearing, the second he realizes that he may have contributed to that stress he’s crushed. If you mention letting him down or something similar his heart will break, he never wants his partner to feel inadequate.
| ✧ If you have to finish the work then, he’d be by your side reassuring you through it, mixed in with the apologies for the pressure.
❈ If you can take a break, or the second you’re done, he’ll clear his schedule (a big compliment from him) to take you somewhere comfortable. A nice dinner, a movie you’d been wanting to see or even just cuddling in the park. He has stress management techniques in his notebooks, and while some of them were Dazai’s tricks, he does everything he can to help you destress after the semester as well.
✧･ﾟ: * Ranpo
❈ Ranpo would be hit or miss if he noticed on his own. He would be completely capable of seeing it, he just isn’t always paying attention. So he’ll either step in before you even get to the point of that much stress, or notice once you’re on the verge of tears. But regardless, the second he sees you starting to break down, all bets are off.
❈ I could see him being the type to “pester” someone to comfort them, so he’d be on you, poking your sides, kissing your cheek, “Hey hey hey, are you good yet?” until you start laughing.
❈ Once you calmed down, he’d look over any homework you had. If it’s a question-based assignment, don’t be surprised if he can work out anything you’re getting stuck on in a heartbeat.
| ✧ I don’t think he’d be great at writing, but he’ll still support you through it, and give you some points to expand on in your papers.
❈ If you have time to take a break, he’d demand that you play a round or two of his game with him. Or five. “And bring the snacks.”
❈ He’d lay on your lap or shoulder as you work, and would occasionally reach up to kiss you softly and encourage you.
✧･ﾟ: * Akutagawa
❈ Unlike the other two, Aku would be completely oblivious the whole time. He wouldn’t even notice anything until he walks in on you crying, and would just freeze.
❈ You could almost see the calculations going on in this boy’s head. “Did I do something? No. Did I not do something? Not that I’m aware. Should I try to comfort them? We’ll see.”
| ✧ I feel like he wouldn’t try to comfort you as directly. He’d leave, and then “conveniently wander back in” with your favorite snack and drink, before sitting next to you (really he prepared it and got back as fast as he could).
❈ His version of comforting words would likely have a little bit of insults in it, he’s also very blunt and doesn’t see any reason to hold back.
| ✧ “So are you going to tell me what’s wrong, and how I can fix it?” For as aggressive as it might come across, he means it in the best way. Once he gets attached to someone, he’d do anything for them, and if something is actively upsetting his partner? Someone is about to lose at least a limb.
❈ When you tell him that it’s the stress from finals, he’d relax a little bit (he was still worried that he messed something up) and would start to talk you through the potential options. If that mean him taking out a professor? He doesn’t mind.
✧ He’d also probably make you take a break, even if that means grabbing your laptop with Rashomon and putting it aside (assuming you can save the assignment probably).
Requests | OPEN |
Pretty Boy ~ Bungo Stray Dogs
✧･ﾟ: * Prompt ~ Short blurbs about how the Bungo Stray Dogs boys would respond to “Pretty boy, with me I said”~
✧･ﾟ: * Character/Pairing ~ Kunikida, Chuuya, Dazai, Atsushi, Akutagawa, Ranpo, Poe, Tanizaki, Lovecraft (individually x reader) ~
✧･ﾟ: * Content ~ Pretty boys being blushy, what more do we need? ~
✧･ﾟ: * Type ~ Fluff, Short Headcanons ~
✧･ﾟ: * Author’s Note ~ I saw this post and I’ve been rolling on this ever since,,,, they’re all so pretty help ~ -repost because for some reason the tags weren’t working on the last one, so if you saw this already, sorry!-
❈ Kunikida would take a minute to realize you were talking to him, before blushing and muttering something about “inappropriate workplace behavior” on his way over. Don’t get this wrong, he absolutely loved it, and may even ask for you to call him pretty again in private.
❈ Chuuya knows he’s pretty. There’s no surprise here, so he naturally responds with a smirk and “Coming, doll.”
❈ Dazai would freeze for just a moment, before coming right over, acting like it’s without a second thought. If you two were alone, he’d then hold you in his arms, and ask if you really think he’s pretty. If this is in public, that’d be the end of it, maybe a wink at anyone he passes but would bring it up later when you two are alone.
❈ Good job, you killed Atsushi. A blushing mess, it’d take a solid minute for him to form coherent sentences. Clarify that yes, you do in fact mean him, and he’ll be over the moon for the rest of the day at least.
❈ Once again, a one-shot kill for Akutagawa. He’d absolutely freeze, before erupting into a coughing fit for a solid minute. He might even actually fall over. His amazing partner, recognizing him? And complimenting him? It’s too much for this emotionally stunted emo to take.
❈ Ranpo is well aware of how pretty he is, plus those eyes. Look at the ego on this one, do you think calling him pretty is going to make an impact? (Yes it absolutely does, and he’d be absolutely giddy the second he’s alone, he just has a reputation to maintain)
❈ Poe should be called pretty constantly, that’s just a fact. But you could call him pretty every time you talk to him, and every time he’s still going to flush bright red and stammer over himself, before trying to hide his face in his hands. He’ll still do whatever it was you needed, just, give him a minute.
❈ Tanizaki would melt, on the spot. Prepare for him blushing and cuddling you, whatever you needed would have to wait. He’s a wreck but in the best way.
❈ Lovecraft would be taken aback, especially if you’ve seen his true form to any extent. He’s inhuman, how could anyone find that attractive? But you do, and it makes his cold, wet heart(?) flutter.
Requests | OPEN |
Other Fandoms | Jujutsu Kaisen |
Dazai with an S/O that’s Chuuya’s twin
✧･ﾟ: * Prompt ~ Dazai’s dating Chuuya’s twin sister ~
✧･ﾟ: * Character/Pairing ~ Dazai x fem!reader ~
✧･ﾟ: * Content ~ Reader is Chuuya’s twin, also in the Port Mafia ~
✧･ﾟ: * Type ~ Fluff, Headcanons~
✧･ﾟ: * Author’s Note ~ Why must you make Chuuya suffer this way? I’m just kidding, this was a blast to write, I hope you enjoy it! ~
❈ His teasing is relentless, especially for those he really cares about, so get ready for near-constant annoyance. And if he can piss you and Chuuya off and get the same reaction? Please, he thrives on your “suffering”
✧ He would be a lot more careful with you though, if you’re insecure about something none of his jokes will even go near mentioning it.
❈ Dazai completely would joke about not being able to tell the difference between you and Chuuya sometimes. Such as when walking up behind the two of you talking, acting like he couldn’t tell. (He always knows, but that’s not gonna stop him from messing with the two of you.)
❈ If you have an ability similar to Chuuya’s, Dazai will bug you to carry him or float stuff to him. Your brother never would, but you can’t say no to your boyfriend’s puppy dog eyes.
❈ While in the Port Mafia, your relationship would be a bit more subtle. He doesn’t want anyone there to see you as his weakness since that would put you in danger.
❈ As soon as Chuuya finds out about your relationship, (I feel like Dazai would just happen to be making out with you next to Chuuya’s office, he “completely lost track” of the fact that Chuuys was coming back already lies) Dazai is completely going to be giving you both crap for it.
✧ “How can a slug like Chuuya have such a stunning twin, you got all the pretty didn’t you my love?”
❈ Chuuya on the other hand, is completely going to try to intimidate him with the shovel talk. But with all the threats the two throw around, it’s basically a normal conversation for the two of them.
❈ You’re also pissed when Dazai ditches the Port Mafia and goes off the radar for a few years, but he does keep leaving little notes at your apartment to let you know he’s safe.
❈ When Dazai gets captured by the Port Mafia, you come to check on him. While you’re about to rip him a new one, you see him slip out of the cocky, cold mask he puts up as his heart melts seeing you.
You’re the one who broke the chains for him to escape, you offered to let him out completely but he wanted the theatrics.
❈ Once you’re back together, you two will just stroll up to the other’s headquarters. And between the ADA not having an explicit reason to take you in (and not wanting to piss off the Port Mafia), and nobody wants to take on Dazai with the mafia, your work dates go fine!
Requests | OPEN|
Where do babies come from?
✧･ﾟ: * Prompt ~ Kenji, Kyōka, and Atsushi asking the reader and Dazai how babies are made ~
✧･ﾟ: * Character/Pairing ~ Kenji, Kyōka, Atsushi, Dazai - light Dazai x Reader implication ~
✧･ﾟ: * Content ~ The Talk, slightly implied fem!reader but not heavily ~
✧･ﾟ: * Type ~ Chaotic headcanons ~
✧･ﾟ: * Author’s Note ~ I’m throwing Kenji in here because I think that Kyōka and Kenji are an adorable dynamic and would get into so many hijinks. ~
❈ Kenji and Kyōka start talking about where babies come from in the office one day and realize their stories don’t match up.
✧ Kyōka almost gets it. She had that seductress training so she understands the concept. Just the details are a little fuzzy. Such as the fact that it would not, in fact, be through bumping into someone.
✧ Kenji seems to think that storks stick a very small baby through the mom’s belly button. Not quite on the mark.
✧ They turn to Atsushi to clear the confusion up, and he panics.
❈ Atsushi would know, he’s an adult, but he’d 100% go on instinct and tell Kyōka and Kenji the same thing he told all the kids at the orphanage if they asked - “They get dropped off by the door.”
❈ After realizing this doesn’t work as well at a detective agency, he’d act like he doesn’t know, leading them to go as you and Dazai.
❈ The second the question slips out of their mouths, you see the spark in Dazai’s eyes that can only mean trouble.
✧ “There could be a demon-” “THAT’S- not necessary Dazai.” “I’m only playing, darling, seriously what do you think of me?”
❈ Between a slightly awkward stumbling through the actual process and Dazai’s occasionally helpful points, the two of them seem to get it.
❈ You’d think you’ve finally avoided the chaos until Kyōka asks a follow-up question, “If a mother dies with the baby inside her, does the baby die too?”
✧ Oh no. Once you answer her that yes, the baby would also die, you could swear you heard her mutter “36…”
❈ Thankfully, the two of them seem satisfied with those answers and go back to their work and conversations. Atsushi mouths “Thank you” to the two of you, and the rest of the day returns to normal. Or at least however normal a day for the ADA can be.
Requests | OPEN|
With an S/O who’s touch starved
✧･ﾟ: * Prompt ~ With a partner who’s love language is physical touch but they’re touch starved ~
✧･ﾟ: * Character/Pairing ~ Dazai, Chuuya, Nanami, Megumi, and Gojo (individually x gn!reader) ~
✧･ﾟ: * Content ~ Touch starved reader, straight up fluff ~
✧･ﾟ: * Type ~ Fluff, headcannons ~
✧･ﾟ: * Author’s Note ~ I had a lot of fun with this one, I hope you enjoy it! ~
✧･ﾟ: * Osamu Dazai
❈ You’re not gonna be touch-starved with this man for long, I’ll give you that. He’s definitely one for dramatics, and if you’re comfortable with public displays of affection, he’ll have an arm around you at all times, or holding your hands and cuddling on the ADA couch (no matter how much Kunikida complains about professionalism). You’re his s/o, and if he had his way the whole world is going to know it, so loving touches in public are to be expected.
❈ Whether you’re coming out of a relationship without a lot of touching, or you’ve been single for a while, he’s going to make it his mission to make you feel loved. And if touch is what it takes, then he’s going to make sure that he’s making up for all the lost time before the two of you were together.
❈ I think that physical touch is a big love language for Dazai too, so this is also somewhat self-serving. Even when he’s not playing it up, you can still expect plenty of times where his gentle touches linger longer than necessary, or how when he comes from behind to lay his head on your shoulder as you are working on something, he’s in bliss.
✧･ﾟ: * Chuuya Nakahara
❈ I don’t think that Chuuya would be particularly touchy on his own. Not that he minds the contact, and can do it for a romantic moment, but he just doesn’t think to initiate it often. I see him as leaning toward doing things for you to be romantic, so the bigger the gesture the better in his mind.
❈ But talk to him about it! He might leave you a little touch starved at the beginning (between missions and spending his time with you trying to do things for you), so tell him that you want more touch. I mean obviously, he’s still going to want to show his love in the way that comes naturally to him, so don’t downplay it, but he’s more than down to just hold you on the couch some evenings rather than spend the whole night cleaning your place.
❈ Eventually, you both find things that hit both of your love languages! Massages come to mind, him being able to do something for you that involves that physical touch? Heavenly.
✧･ﾟ: * Kento Nanami
❈ Okay, hear me out. It takes a hot minute to get to that point. But once Nanami is comfortable with someone I just think he’d be the biggest cuddler. It’s just a vibe I get from him, he loves near-constant physical contact, who cares who sees.
❈ So if this is early into your relationship, you’re going to have a bit of a dry spell. Some handholding, maybe. I just think it’d take him a while to get adjusted to the idea that you can be a permanent part of his life. But once you have reached that point, he’s another that you’re not gonna be touch starved for long.
❈ Have conversations with him, he’s going to want to be sure that you’re getting enough out of the relationship from the get-go, but you being willing to start a conversation about your needs gives him that sense of permanence that he needs to initiate it too
❈ You’re his stress relief, and he’s sure to tell you. Whether that be leaning on his chest, stroking his hand at another stupid meeting, or a hug at the end of the day, he melts into you, and he hopes he can show you how much you mean to him through the same.
✧･ﾟ: * Megumi Fushiguro
❈ Another one who’s not going to be that into physical affection on his own. He grew up with Gojo. Who “annoyed” him and was very touchy. So touch isn’t his go-to in expressing affection, and he can be a bit tense when someone else initiates it with him.
❈ But, communication can work wonders, and talking to him, he’s more than willing to be more physical for you. And I think he’d eventually start to enjoy it more than he thought he would.
❈ He’d still be a little iffy on PDA, but he’d be willing to hold hands, and if you lean into him while you’re hanging out with friends, well he won’t mind.
❈ But in private he’ll initiate the touch a lot more since he wants to make sure you aren’t feeling unloved. I think that time would be a big love language for him, and so you laying on his chest on the couch, sitting in comfortable silence would become a standard routine for you.
✧･ﾟ: * Satoru Gojo
❈ Gojo isn’t the most receptive to your needs, but lucky for you this man is going to want to be all over you anyway. You’re gonna have a harder time keeping him off you than getting him to touch you.
❈ Incredulous that you’re touch starved. How doesn’t everyone just want to be holding you constantly? You’re so holdable? He just assumes that his thoughts are universal, or the only correct ones at least, so the thought that you haven’t been constantly given all the physical affection is wild to him. (Though that doesn’t mean that he isn’t going to be possessive if anyone else tries)
❈ But once he finds out that this is one of your needs, he will be extra conscious of it, and I feel like he’d be checking in with you fairly often. He’d play it off as a joke most of the time. “What, do you need me to hold you more or something?”, but he does seriously want to be sure he’s meeting your needs.
Requests | OPEN|
