MUSIC’S IT GIRLS CAS CHALLENGE Rules: Create/Dress up a Sim based off of some of music’s “It Girls” (essentially songs named after/about a specific woman).
Okay. I actually WATCHED this video. I can verify it’s not incest, but I still have a LOT of reservations about the story. I appreciate the plot twist, but the girl lies about being raped to save her lover from her violent brother.
I am not saying this would never happen or that no woman has ever lied about sexual assault, but the story ends at the revelation. There’s no follow-up on what happens to the brother due to his violent crimes. Or what happens to the girl and her lover from that point. I get that this girl in this story is young - a teen - and she’s been raised in a highly dysfunctional family. She’s dealing with pregnancy. The father is also a teen. There’s no clue about how he’s dealing with this - or if he’s even still her lover. It also makes the viewer more sceptical about victim claims of assault.
So, while I appreciate the subject matter on one score, I’m not sure it was handled in an entirely mature fashion. It seems to have been thought up more like a ‘gotcha’ sort of thing that the sister got one over on her horrible, violent brother, who in his sick way showed that he cared about her by exacting vengeance on the men he thought had harmed her. (Although the story is vague about his motivations. It seems to be more about the brother’s ideas of family honour than any actual affection for his little sister.)
All of this brings me to a final point. I’m not sure how old this storyteller is, but I did watch several of their other stories. There’s a lot of unhelpful messaging about body image and overly simplistic “morals” to the stories. However, the visuals and animations are above par for sims videos.
The banner is click-bait and skillfully so. I’m not sure I’d recommend this storyteller overall though.
If you’ve been around here for a bit, you probably know I’m a survivor of sexual assault, rape/coersion and all that jazz.
I feel like I’ve done a LOT of work in building up trust, trying to like, be in charge of my sexual experiences, learning to trust my body again and feel safe in it, etc. etc.
So. the best way I know how to say this is that I was recently assaulted by my fiancee. We both have a history of sexual trauma, for me that mostly looks like having issues with receiving sexual things/problems with boundaries and saying no, embarrassment and worry about sex and my body. For him that looks like shame and embarrassment about sexual feelings, not initiating, having trouble being assertive and communicating. Also, he knows that I have problems with dissociation, which I’ve worked on in therapy, and he also knows that I used to dissociate during sex. Like, it was a regular thing with the partner right before him.
We’ve spent years building up trust, and communicating with each other and have done kink stuff and have always checked in with each other– if something wasn’t clear, or one of us got quiet, we’d stop and check in, and then usually have the go to continue, or take a break, or stop if we needed to.
In this instance, this did not happen. I started dissociating hardcore bc my body went into ‘freeze’ mode because it got signals that I was not safe, and AFTERWARDS he said it was weird, and he didn’t like that I wasn’t responsive– but I was Not Okay. And he did not stop or check in or ask or anything, which is VERY UNUSUAL. Also, he was apparently nervous and having issues with staying hard – that’s normal! It is fine! nonconcordance is a thing and there are other options available! – so his answer to that was to just be super rough in an attempt to like, help him? Feel things better?
From what it sounds like, he could have been dissociating a little, too? His mental state was definitely not good. But he didn’t stop or say, hey can we do something different, NOTHING. There were visual and auditory clues BEFORE I dissociated completely– during oral I almost threw up (that happens occasionally because I have a little bit of a gag reflex, and we always pause), I was obviously not enjoying it, AND I was trying to pull away to make it less intense, which he would not let me do, and afterward, I said “Hey, that was a bit too much, like too rough”
Which he apparently did not hear or notice. Apparently he was also unaware of me pulling away or having any issue. So, after that, it does travel into rape territory.
I was super upset about not stopping it or doing more to stop it, and was blaming myself. Then when I explained it to my best friend, he asked if I was dissociating during, because it sounded that way, and, lo and behold, I was. (He’s only recently learned about dissociation and a lot of my trauma stuff, so he asks about it fairly often to check in with me/understand it better).
I only told two people about it after it happened (this happened on the 16th, like 2 and a half weeks ago). I suppressed it for a while because I had a lot of stuff to do for the end of September, but this last week I’ve actually had time to start processing things, and it is not great. The one friend asked about pressing charges, or if I needed to see a doctor, but I didn’t have to go to the hospital or anything and I wasn’t bleeding as far as I could tell, and I didn’t really want to (I figured it would be more harm than it was worth, esp ‘proving’ the assault), and I wanted to like, move past it.
Which was difficult because I was sore for over a week. My voice was messed up and my skin was like raw.
A lot of past stuff has come up, and I don’t know. I don’t trust him any more. I feel sick and scared when he hugs me.
We’ve only talked about it once. In which I said. “If I can’t trust you to not assault me because you’re having an issue and you’re stuck in your own head, I can’t trust you.”
We had sex once somewhere near the end of September, the 25th or something, and it was okay. I was trying to like, have things go back to normal. After that I think things started to sink in and I’ve withdrawn a lot. I sleep in a different bed and I don’t like changing in front of him (which is something I would do in front of friends).
I’m super upset and really want like, safe physical contact, but I don’t even know where I could get that from that it would feel safe and not be read as some kind of romantic thing. My best friend would, but he’s a guy and I think that would freak me out right now.
If anyone has any advice, at all, on how to talk to my fiancee about this, or things I could do to feel safer, or you’ve been through something similar, or ANYTHING, please help. I am at a loss, and I think this might be the end of the relationship.
Also, feel free to PM me or reply to this or reblog with a reply. Whatever.
What people don’t get about saying “It’s not kink if it’s not respectful of boundaries” is that up until the point where your boundaries are violated, “non-kink” looks indistinguishable from “true kink.”
It’s better to say “people do shitty things under the umbrella of kink, and if we’re not careful, we could end up helping them inadvertently.” People abuse the power exchange inherent to kink. Good groups will warn subs about this and shun such people, while bad ones will cover for the abuse, make excuses, etc..
