#draco malfoy tiktok
Summary: Ten years ago, Draco was sure you were dead. But after receiving a letter from none other than you, his world is flipped upside down.
Pairing: Draco x Reader
Word Count:4k+
Genre: Fluff, a lil angsty
Requested:No, requests currently closed while I finish my sitting requests :)
Warnings:None
A/N: I know it’s been a while, and this is likely all over the place~ just something that’s been on my mind for a while and finally had some time to sit down and plot it out! Part 2?
The warmth of the fire can’t drive away the cold. It creeps in, starting from his toes and runs all the way to his chest. That cold that can only be associated with his own sadness. Draco sits in his favorite chair by the hearth, his eyes scanning the letter over and over again. Surely he’d seen this before.
“Darling,” Astoria, his wife of six years starts. “I’m putting Scorpius to bed, are you coming?”
“Not tonight,” he says. It’s firmer than intended, but he can’t even drag his eyes away to apologize.
Astoria lingers in the doorway of their meager living room of their meager cottage that they’d fallen in love with when they first saw it, but now needed more space. She eyes her husband warily and the letter in his hand, that smelled of the sweetest perfume and has him in a tizzy. She knew there’d been someone before her. Someone that never made it out of the war. Someone he loved more than anyone.
Astoria sighs, her eyes still watching her husband for a single second before she slips down the hallway.
Draco brings the letter to his lips, kissing the very paper it was written on, his mind wandering back to all the kisses he gave to you, all the times he’d kiss your forehead and hold you and tell you how much he loved you. He can’t believe the letter had even come.
Dearest Draco,
I’m sorry if this letter reaches you late. It is now May 10th, 1998, and by now you must be sure that I am dead.
Draco puts the letter down for a moment, his heart almost completely stopping in his chest. Alive? Is she alive? Should he leave now?
I hope someday you can forgive me for letting you think I’d ever meet such a fate in a war, but I assure you I am, for now, safe and sound. I made a deal with Dumbledore before your task. I’m continuing his work, growing my own power and studying as much as I can. I’ve followed the knowledge, as I always told you I would. I wrote the first half of this letter once I’d gotten out safely, but couldn’t bring myself to finish it. It is now August 25th, 2008. Ten years since I started.
She’s alive. She must be, if he’s receiving this letter now. He sets it on the arm of his chair and stands, pacing in that Draco Malfoy way. He stoops at the chair for his whiskey and the letter, his eyes scanning it.
I’ll be returning to London soon. I’ve taken up the Potions Master position at Hogwarts under Mrs. Granger’s rule, and I wanted you to be the first to know that I’ll be coming back. I hope to see you in Hogsmeade on the 29th of August. You know where. I’ll be there at 3pm, and I hope you show. I want to hear all about your life, Draco. Did you ever marry? Are you happy? I miss you, and I hope that you’ve built a life for yourself.
See you?
Love,
Y/N
Draco sits down in his chair again, his eyes wide and his heart pounding. Seeing you. Tomorrow. For the first time in ten years. The longest ten years of his life, thinking you were dead. The worst ten years. No, he married. He has a son. He became one of the most well-respected and astute healers in the entire wizarding world. He’s had a wonderful ten years. Right?
He stands again, pacing and pacing and pacing. Alternating between his drink and smelling your sweet, sweet smell that he’d tried so hard to preserve in one of his t-shirts you always wore to bed.
Astoria leans against the doorjamb, watching Draco pace and pace. She knows that pace. He’s stressed and conflicted and terrified. That look on his precious face…
She walks to him, taking his face in her hands.
“Draco,” she says firmly, catching his attention. “What is it?”
He’s quiet for a moment and she holds her breath, searching his face for any kind of answer.
“It’s Y/N,” he says, his voice almost a ghost of a whisper. “She’s alive. And she’s coming back. And she wants me to meet her tomorrow.”
Astoria drops her hands from his face, taking in his words. So, this was it, then. She knew who he would choose should it come down to it.
“That little twit,” Astoria breathes. “How selfish can she be?”
Draco, taken aback, gazes at his wife. “Selfish?”
“You were in hell for the first years of us being together because of her! You moped at our wedding. You won’t dare allow me to do simple things like wear your clothes to sleep in or go through your old Hogwarts trunk. All because you thought she was dead!” Astoria roars, finding her voice now.
“Darling, calm down,” Draco starts.
“Calm down?” Astoria roars, growing louder. “You’re going to tell me, your wife, to calm down, after telling me you’re going to meet the woman you’ve secretly wished I was for the last ten years? Don’t tell me to calm down, Draco. Don’t.”
Draco sighs. He paces the length of the family room, only stopping to sink into his chair.
“Astoria, I don’t know what to say,” he sighs. He drags his hands down his face, haunted almost. “She was the love of my life. She taught me everything I know about love and how to do it. That I was capable of it.
“Would you leave me for her?” Astoria asks suddenly, eyeing her husband.
“I wish I had an answer for that,” Draco relents.
Astoria nods. She squares her shoulders, holding her chin high as her eyes water. “Then you can sleep on the sofa tonight.”
She turns and exits into the hallway, and Draco can hear her stalking to the bedroom and the telltale door slam.
~
Astoria doesn’t speak to him all morning. She gets Scorpius ready for his mid-day lessons and ignores Draco.
So, he gets up, showers, tousles his hair, and squirts on some of his best cologne. He’d look like the happiest man in the world today. Maybe because he is.
He leaves the house without a word to Astoria, only stopping to kiss Scorpius on his head and whisper a quick “I love you,” words he never heard from his own father.
~
Hogsmeade bustles with shop owners and consumers and students, all exploring the new world and everything it has to offer. Draco walks amongst the crowd, his teeth chattering despite the warm August day. His nerves make every step feel longer than it is, and his palms sweat profusely. He allows his mind to wander as he forages down the cobblestone pathway; what would you look like? What would you be wearing? Would you smell the same? Did you ever marry? Are you happy?
His train of thought is halted as he approaches the place that you used to call your spot. The little ice cream shop across from Creepy Cauldrons, a vehement Halloween only shop. You and Draco would go on ice cream dates almost every Hogsmeade trip since fourth year when you admitted you fancied him, and he you. It was the one spot he couldn’t bring himself to walk into when he thought you were dead. Not even with Scorpius.
He pushes open the door, the little bell jangling as it always does. It doesn’t take long for him to spot you. You were in the same booth you were always in when you’d meet up. Your booth you shared together.
Draco approaches you, though your back is to him. He wonders if it’s a dream. Could it really be you? Is this a cruel prank?
Upon hearing his footsteps, you turn, Y/E/C eyes locking with his grey ones. Draco stops. His heart stops, his mouth dry, his eyes watering. It’s really you.
You stand and move to hug him, but Draco is stiff. He doesn’t hug you back.
“Draco,” you start, pulling away from him. “I’m sorry this is so sudden. I understand if you don’t want me back in your life at all, I just wanted a moment to explain myself.”
Draco nods. He takes his old seat, and you sit across from him.
Over his shoulder, Sir Harrington- the owner of the ice cream parlor- gives you a thumbs up. He’d been serving you ice cream since you were kids, and you had no doubt he would forget you or Draco.
“So,” Draco begins. He hides his shaking hands underneath the table. “You’re back? For good?”
“For good,” you relent.
“I thought you were dead,” Draco says. His voice betrays him and cracks. He clears his throat, but doesn’t continue.
“I know,” you say. You reach across the table for his hand, but he doesn’t move. You withdraw your hand, knowing he’ll be cold as ice until you can crack him. “I know what everyone thought. I knew the repercussions of what I did, but I’m only sorry to you.”
“Sorry to me?” He asks. “You’re sorry? You came here to tell me you’re sorry?”
“Draco,” you start, but he cuts you off.
“Don’t. You don’t know what it was like. I thought you were dead. I moved on. I lived in hell every single day that you were gone. I can’t even look my wife in the eye without wishing it were you,” he says through his teeth.
“You married, then,” you say. Your resolve weakens, and you know it’s hopeless.
“I did. Astoria Greengrass and I wed in 2001. It’ll be seven years in December.”
“I see,” you say. “I’m happy for you, Draco.”
“We have a son. Scorpius.”
You nod, chuckling to yourself. “The name we picked out for our first son?”
Draco nods, and has the grace to look slightly embarrassed. “Astoria knows what you meant to me. I wanted to keep you alive in my memory somehow.”
“Meant?”
Draco remains silent, his eyes on his hands as he considers his own words.
“Mean,” he says, finally meeting your gaze.
You sigh and allow yourself a moment to get lost in his eyes the way you wanted to every minute you were gone.
“I didn’t want to leave you, Draco,” you admit. “But it was for the best. I was doing dangerous potions work. Collecting samples of serums from creatures that can only be found in the deepest, darkest corners of the world. It was the type of exploring that I had to do alone.”
“You could’ve at least told me you were alive,” Draco says. He leans across the table, taking your cheek in his palm. “I died over and over again every day that I thought you were gone.”
You bring your hand up, holding onto his wrist, letting his words soak into your brain. You know you’ll likely never hear them again.
“I didn’t know if I would ever come back,” you whisper, your voice catching in your throat. “So many times I was sure I was dead, but I kept fighting. I wanted to come back to you.”
Draco drops his hand, though you had the feel of his warm palm on your skin already committed to memory.
“What are we to do?” He asks, reaching for your hand.
You trace the silver wedding band sitting on his left hand, fourth finger. “We go on with our lives. I’m sure I’ll be teaching Scorpius someday. I’m glad that you found love, Draco, and I’m sorry that it wasn’t with me.”
You stand, turning your back on the boy you love so dearly, and walk out of the shop.
Draco sits for a minute, taking everything in. Why hadn’t he tried to stop you? Why hadn’t he reached out for you? Why did he let you walk away from him again?
~
When Draco enters, Astoria rises from her place at their dining room table. She’s prepared for the worst, but Draco doesn’t look haunted anymore. For the first time in her life, he looks alive.
“Draco?”
His head whips to her, like he hadn’t seen her.
“Oh,” he says. “Hello.”
“How was it?”
“It was… good?” he says. He takes a seat at the table, his eyes trained on his hands, recalling the feeling of her finger on his wedding band. “She said she’s happy I’m happy.”
“What else?” Astoria pries.
“She just wanted to let me know she was alive,” he says. “She’ll be teaching potions at Hogwarts. She likes that we used her name for Scorpius, said she looks forward to teaching him someday.”
“She didn’t… she didn’t ask you to be with her?” Astoria asks. She can’t hide the shock from her voice.
“No,” Draco says. “She didn’t.”
“Well,” Astoria starts, her voice returning to normal. “I’m happy she’s okay. Come now, let’s shower.”
Draco rises, follows his wife into their bathroom, all the while in a daze. His mind wanders to his time at Hogwarts with you, how much he loved you then and he wonders if maybe he still does.
~
You look back at Draco, giggling as you pull him through the snow, trying to outrun Crabbe and Goyle to Hogsmeade.
“Darling, come on!” You grin back at him. “They’re going to eat all the chocolate chip, and you know it’s my favorite!”
“Slow down,” Draco laughs, pulling you to a halt. He wraps his arm around you, pulling you into his side. “You’re freezing!”
“Oh, it’s just a little cold,” you smile up at him. “We’re going to get ice cream, come on!”
“Maybe we should get some soup or something?” Draco asks, keeping you tucked into his side. “I don’t want you to get sick.”
You lean up, kissing him sweetly. “I love the way you take care of me, even when you’re stressed.”
Draco’s cheeks redden as he smiles down at you, his blond hair flopping in his eyes as he kisses your forehead. “You’re my love. I’ll always take care of you.”
Your returning smile is dazzling as you stop in the snow to hug him tightly, relishing in his warmth.
“Just two more years and we can graduate and be married!”
~
Draco towel-dries his hair as he sits on the edge of his bed. His mind feels like an unraveled ball of yarn, but he can’t ever remember feeling so happy?
“What’s on your mind, love?” Astoria asks, crawling behind Draco on her knees. She rubs his shoulders softly, kissing at his shoulder blades.
“Her,” he admits. “I was just thinking about some of our time together in school. Just some memories, that’s all.”
“Let’s have another baby,” Astoria says suddenly.
Draco turns to look at her, his heart torn. “I don’t think now is really a good time, Astoria.”
“Why?” She pouts. “I think it’s as good a time as any.”
“I don’t,” Draco says. He removes himself from her grasp, standing so he can properly look at his wife. “I just… I can’t right now. I know you can’t understand this, but I’m really trying to be the husband that you expect me to be.”
Astoria gazes up at him. “You’re rejecting me?”
“No, Astoria, I-“
“If you wanted to meet my expectations as my partner, you’d give me another baby,” she says, determined.
“I don’t want another baby with you,” Draco says almost immediately. His eyes are wide as he takes in the enormity of what he’s just let slip. “Astoria, I’m sorry-“
“Don’t,” she hisses. She closes her robe and moves to the bathroom, locking the door behind her.
Draco sits on the bed again, dragging his hands down his face once more. There it is, then. He doesn’t love his wife, he’s a terrible father, and everyone at St. Mungo’s would hear about this. With Astoria’s connections, he doubted there was a way out of this one.
~
Knock knock knock.
The door swings open and Narcissa Malfoy stands in the doorway, looking at her son who looks like he’d just walked miles and miles to even be at the manor. She takes him in her arms immediately.
“Hello, my darling boy,” she smiles, kissing his hair.
“Mum,” Draco says.
Narcissa ushers him inside, closing the door behind him. The manor had changed significantly since Lucius’ trip to Azkaban, where he remains for conspiring against the ministry. Everything is white and crème, no more blacks and greys, though the telltale Slytherin green still decorates the throw blankets and some statues.
“To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?” Narcissa asks, sitting comfortably on the sofa.
Draco takes a seat across from her.
“Do you remember Y/N?”
“Oh, how could I forget? She was fierce. It’s a shame what happened to her, I quite liked her,” Narcissa says, reminiscing to herself. “She would’ve done incredible things.”
“I saw her today,” Draco says. “She’s alive.”
“Oh, darling, are you still mourning her? I can get you some help, though you are the healer of the family,” Narcissa rambles.
“No, mum,” Draco says. He wipes his palms on his pants legs. “I mean, she wrote to me, and we met at the ice cream parlor. She’s alive. And she’s come back to teach at Hogwarts.”
Narcissa sits up immediately.
“Draco…” she starts, choosing her words carefully. “But, what about Astoria? Scorpius? You have a responsibility to your family.”
“I know,” Draco says. He rests his chin in his palm. “If she’d just told me she was alive… If she’d just… I would’ve waited.”
“Don’t say that,” Narcissa goads. “Then you wouldn’t have Scorpius.”
“I can’t pretend that I don’t love her, mum. Astoria wants another baby. I just… I would’ve waited.” Draco sighs. He runs a hand through his hair.
“Does Astoria know?”
“Yes,” Draco nods. “She’s not happy about it.”
“No one would expect her to be,” Narcissa says. “She’s just found out the same news that you have, but now it’s a waiting game for her.”
“A waiting game?” Draco asks, looking up at his mother.
“Draco,” Narcissa smiles. “When have you ever picked anything over that girl? You were almost killed trying to protect her. It’s only a matter of time until you can accept the consequences and chase after her.”
“I’ll lose everything,” Draco says, his eyes searching Narcissa’s. “I’ll lose my life, Astoria will make sure of that.”
Narcissa stands and crosses the space between them to sit next to her son. She takes his hands in her own.
“Answer me this, darling,” she starts. “Are you happy?”
Draco takes a moment to consider this, chewing on his lip.
“I love Scoripus, and-“
“That’s not what I asked,” Narcissa interrupts. “Can you honestly look at me and tell me that you’re happy.”
“No,” Draco admits. “I’m miserable. I’m stuck. I don’t love Astoria, she was just a good option, as harsh as it is. She deserves better, but I can’t lose my son.”
“Go to her,” Narcissa instructs. “Tell her how you feel.”
“Which one?” Draco asks, holding onto Narcissa’s hands for dear life.
“That’s up to you,” Narcissa advises. “But always remember this: You’re a Malfoy and no matter what, there’s respect given for the name alone. I can spin a bad reputation, but I can’t heal my broken boy.”
~
You flit around your kitchen- though it’s not really a conventional kitchen- throwing herbs and animal parts into the large cauldron that adorns the middle of the room. Who needed a dining table when you can eat in bed?
Taking a whiff of the potion, you smile- it’s perfect. You’re just about to extract it when there’s a knock on your door.
Draco stands behind it, hands in his pockets, cheeks rosy, hair perfect.
“Draco,” you smile. You hold the door open, inviting him in. “What a pleasure! I would’ve tidied a bit had I known you’d be dropping by.”
“Pardon the intrusion,” he smiles. “I called in a favor with the Weasleys to get your address. Still messy as ever?”
You laugh that cathartic laugh of yours, throwing your head back momentarily as you gesture around you. “Would you expect anything less?”
“Frankly, I don’t know how you function,” Draco laughs. “How do you find anything?”
“Organized chaos,” you shrug. “I’m sure you didn’t come here to goad me into cleaning, though. Is everything alright?”
At your question, Draco is pacing again. Honestly, this boy could pace a hole in the floor, but you only lean against the kitchen counter, your arms folded, watching him in all his amusing glory.
“What I’m about to say is going to sound daft,” he starts, chewing his thumb. “But I think I might still be in love with you.”
He stops pacing and looks at you finally, but you can only raise an eyebrow at him.
“Draco, you’re married.”
“I know. And it feels so wrong,” he admits. He closes the space between you, taking your face in his palms so gently. “But I’ve never felt as alive and free as I do when I’m with you.”
You pull away quickly, trying to be as gentle as possible as to not offend him.
“I know how you feel, because I feel the same way,” you start. Draco’s eyes light up. “But… I can’t be with you.”
“Why not?” He asks, visibly shrinking.
“You’re married!”
“What if I weren’t?” He counters.
“That’s not the situation,” you retort. “You are married. Had I known, I likely wouldn’t have written you. I would’ve let you find out on your own. I never meant to come between you and your family.”
Draco runs his fingers through his hair, clearly frustrated.
“You are my family,” he growls. “Can’t you see? You and Scorpius and my mum are the only people in this world who truly matter to me. I married Astoria because it was what was expected of me.”
“I’m afraid that’s not the way the world works,” you sigh. “I love you, Draco. I always have. I’ll probably love you forever. But I’m not a backup plan. You thought I was dead, you moved on. That’s something I’ll have to live with.”
“Y/N,” Draco starts. He folds his hands in front of him, and he grows more and more flustered by the second. “I’m standing right in front of you, telling you that I choose you.”
“And have you told your wife that?” You counter, folding your arms again.
“I wanted to see how you felt first,” he confesses. “I was leaving either way, or so it seems. I just wanted to see what you thought.”
“Draco,” you sigh. “Worry about your family for now. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”
~
Though the night is calm and peaceful, a storm brews in Draco’s mind at the thought of walking inside of his home. He sits outside on the front steps, encased in darkness, when it occurs to him that the home shouldn’t be dark.
Curious, he stands and pushes open the front door with no resistance. It should’ve been locked. Flipping on the lights, Draco chokes back a sob. The home is empty of any presence of anyone other than himself. No photos on the walls. No dishes in the pantry. No drawings or lesson reports on the table from Scorpius. Everything lay bare and abandoned and sad. Everything but one envelope sitting on the small kitchen table, now devoid of any flowers or vases.
Dear Draco,
After hearing of your escapades with Y/N, I’ve taken Scorpius away. I don’t know for how long we’ll be gone, or where we’re going, but I will not be a second option. I’ll allow you to decide: Me, your wife. Your son. Your home. Your career. All of your dreams. Or her.
Should you make a decision, send my owl immediately, as I’m sure she will have no problem finding me.
With all the love in my heart,
Your Wife
Astoria Malfoy
