Esrom Riddle née Trelawney wanted her husband dead for what he did. The certainty of his death would be a long wait, at the hands of child no less. If Esrom Riddle played her cards right, it would be at the hands of his own flesh and blood, his worst fear. She didn’t care what she had to do, who she had to hurt or turn into a pawn to get what she wanted. Esrom Riddle never expected that her own pawns would play their own games, not even her third eye could have predicted the mess she made to ensure her husband’s death…
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife Offer me that deathless death Good God, let me give you my life
Summary: Is Umbridge the worst thing you have to face? Is there a silver lining or something much darker lurking underneath?
A/n: Y’all are going to love me, then hate me. I’m serious. You guys love my fluff writing, but for those who have been with me for a while know I’m the goddess of angst writing. But it’s also +15k words so… Also this gets slightly PG-13 but nothing too risque. So, there’s that. Let me know what you think! I love seeing all the messages/comments from you guys!
Draco quickly found you in the halls, your silvery cloak setting you apart from the masses of black. If his aunt Bellatrix was out from Azkaban, so were a lot of other Death Eaters and he had gone about frantic the past few days not knowing if you were alright.
Paranoia wouldn’t leave him alone. Someone had to know what you meant to him. Maybe his father found out. Maybe someone told from the school. Maybe his aunt had seen you that day on winter holiday. There were too many variables.
But you were there smiling beside your friends waving at him. He pulled you into a quick hug and quickly slung his arm around your shoulders, his eyes darting around the halls as if he were expecting a Death Eater to jump out and take you away.
A/n: Hello my darlings! Welcome to the next part and honestly it took me a while to figure out where I wanted to take this, so please enjoy the angsty fluff of this chapter and I’m happy to introduce Susan! (you’ll understand later). I love you guys so much you have no idea, please don’t stop commenting, reblogging and liking, you have no idea how much it excites me and motivates me to keep writing. ALSO GUYS TOM FELTON IS GOING TO BE AT THE COMICON NEAR ME AND YOU BET YOUR GALLEONS THAT I AM DROPPING COLLEGE MONEY TO GO AND MEET THAT MAN
As I am writing for the Harry Potter fandom right now, I thought I’d explain something about how I feel and the “sorting” that occurs in the book/movies.
Firstly: I don’t like the idea of sorting at all. I have gone through deep depression and anxiety and have spent my whole life until recently being what someone told me to be because I was terrified to let someone down. And I think that anxiety is placed on every Hogwarts student when they’re sorted. Being put in one house or another allows the person to cling to what makes their house and forget parts of themselves that should be loved and nurtured too. I am allowed to be brave and ambitious and kind and intelligent all at the same time. One is not stronger than the other because I need them all. They are woven together in the tapestry that is me. Some threads are dark and some are bright and shining. I am not just one thing. I can’t. It’ll drive a person mad trying to focus on one part of their life and not others. All of you is important. Every part. Don’t be restricted by what a house says about you. If you want to be brave, take that first step. If you want to be kind and stand for fair play, well you’re just as brave and ambitious to me in today’s day. If you love books and certain topics and spend countless hours learning to be the best, well, you’re going to adore college because it’s what I get to do all year. Yet, I am still kind, I still value fair play, I am still bold and I still strive to be the best of me. And so can you. I am a Gryffindor, sure, for all intents and purposes but can’t I be more than that?
Secondly: JK Rowling has rigged the house system against everyone but a Gryffindor. She wrote an entire house to be the villains and I can’t stand beside that. I believe everyone deserves a chance and making anyone an “unredeemable slytherin” is an awful thing to do. Sure, it is from Harry’s perspective and he has the attention span of a goldfish, but she made that choice. As a writer I know what goes into writing and she lost respect very quickly from me the moment I met a slytherin character. It’s lazy writing, to just default a character to a villain and I won’t stand behind it. Before I even knew what Harry Potter was, all of my friends happen to be Slytherin, heck, my best friend who’s going to be my maid of honor is a slytherin. And not for a minute can you tell me that she is an villain. Not for a minute can you tell me that she wouldn’t fight back against someone like Voldemort. I will fight the first person who tried to tell me that. So I won’t feed into a system that is rigged against perfectly good people and I think it adds to what I said above, if a person is told definitively who they are, they’ll forget the rest of who they are and conform. And these kids are ELEVEN when they’re told who they must be, in and spend all of their developing years in a system that is detrimental to psychological growth.
I’m sure there’s more I’d like to say, but at the moment those are my two main thoughts about the matter. So now we come to why I’m explaining this:
My writing. Yes I’ve done Gryffindor and Hufflepuff and evening muggle Readz, but the truth is, I wrote it the way I normally would, as myself and what the story needs and put a label on the Readz. I put myself into these situations and work to redeem Draco—a boy who was never a villain, just forced into a detrimental destructive system and trapped there by an author who got lazy. It is SO important to me that he gets redemption, because it was the same redemption that I got in my life and I’ll be damned if I let someone else slip through the cracks. So I’ll be whoever the hell he needs me to be to save him. It’s not a house that will save him, or a muggle or wizard. It’s heart and love and courage and ambition and knowledge and kindness and fairness and stubbornness and forgiveness and that can’t be one house or one type of person. It will take every part of me and every part of you. Please don’t believe that you’re just a Ravenclaw or just a Hufflepuff, or just a Slytherin or just a Gryffindor. Grow up and learn to love all of you. Break free of the mold you’ve been set in, even though it’s a mold that looks appetizing and pretty and nice and loveable, but aren’t all the best traps?
I love you all and believe in you all and I want you to know that whatever House you’re in, I don’t care. You are a person, not a house, not a label. You are lovely and there is so much more to you. So when you read what I write, don’t pay mind to what house I write for— it will still be me, it will still be you, get lost in the words and find comfort in them. It’s why I write, to share my heart and my stories. Never would I limit myself to a certain set of rules, I’ve spent too long trying to do that. So read, fall in love, watch Draco be saved, and above all else remember there is more to you.
“What’s your favorite flower, darling? I’ll get you the seed”
I said “Dandelion, Dandelion, ” that one’s so pretty
She said, “Child, that one’s not a flower, that one’s just a weed”
Summary: Draco has always tormented you for anything and everything. One summer you cut your hair off and get a bit better at spells and Draco has no idea what to do with you now and you have no idea what to do with all this new attention.
A/N: Hello my darlings! This is a request from @darcypottah and now that it’s fleshed out a bit more, it will be a series, each part is going to be a school year (starting in the Goblet of Fire) or a summer between (the summer chapters will be shorter obviously) following the thread: A Hufflepuff!reader dating Draco and they get split up because Draco has to do something for Voldemort and doesn’t want the Hufflepuff!reader getting in the way. But eventually, they will get back together.Welcome to over 8,000 words because I have no self-control and this is the best thing ever not lying. It’s got everything and anything under the sun. Love you guys and as always let me know what you think!!
“Go ahead, run back to your friends,” He sneered. “I don’t seewhy they even let you into this school if you’re not going to do a spell,”
I hung my head, my long hair covering the hurt on my face as I rushed down the hall away from him.
Draco Malfoy. The most malicious kid in my year and a Slytherin no less. So, he thought it was acceptable for his taunts against me and my house. Not like I chose to be Hufflepuff. Not that I hated it either, I loved my house and my friends and everything we stood for… but why did it have to be me that he singled out?
Summary: Will you let Draco fix what happened? Will you listen long enough? Will you two finally confess your true feelings? What did you do that unfroze the winter ground?
A/N: Hello my lovelies! I’d like to formally apologize for the angst of the last chapter (though it needed to happen) and I now give you the resolve of that chapter as well as some new thrilling plot lines! I love you guys so so much. Please don’t be afraid to come talk to me or comment or reblog! Always keep fighting.
“Theground?” He repeated. “I didn’t do that, Y/n”
I flinched as he said my name, clenching my fists.
“Okay,look, I know what you saw,” He held his hands up in surrender, backing away slightly. “But please, listen.”
“Towhat? You… you kissed her Draco! You were… and God I trusted you!”
“My father—” He tried.
“Oh,I have a few choice words for you and your father!” I snapped standing up. “How could you!?”
“Y/n,please,”
“Say please one more time and I swear to Merlin I am going to punch you in the face.” I threatened.
Summary: Your world was perfect for a shining moment. Then that moment ended. You and Draco are tested against the true evils of the world and unforgivable curses.
A/N: To all of you who thought that last chapter was cute and fluffy had me cackling because I knew this was coming and I would say I’m sorry but that would be a lie. This is heavy angst and oh my goodness it feels good to write angst again. And this isn’t the entirety of the angst I have planned for these two. Anyway, I love you all so so much! This is also live on AO3! Also if you want a song to listen with this please enjoy Haunted by Taylor Swift
Warnings: Since this chapter is angsty I do want to warn against those of you who might trigger with depression or have self esteem battles. There is also sexual harassment but though it is terrible, it’s not the main focus. There will be resolve though, I promise. You battle is not over. Always keep fighting.
“You’re creating a draft dear,” Narcissa spoke softly, not looking up from The Daily Prophet.
“He hasn’t responded to my letter. And I still hear word that he is with this… this Lupine, the daughter of Jezebel herself!” Lucius sneered. “This is why I didn’t want to send him to that school. The fool Dumbledore doesn’t know how to run it properly.” Venom dripped from his words.
“Dumbledore has nothing to do with your son’s affair,” Narcissa noted.
“He’s making a fool of the family name Narcissa!” Lucius roared. “After everything that I have done for that boy!”
“Then why are you sitting here scolding me and not scolding at him?” She looked up from the newspaper with a stern cold glare.
“I’m going to put an end to this. This girl will rue the day she ever decided to talk to my son,” Lucius stormed upstairs, planning for the trip ahead.
“Just another Christmas,” She sighed and picked up the letter from Draco that she had received earlier and tucked it away before her husband could see it.
Hello my lovies! As promised I have uploaded my Draco series onto Archive of Our Own, for those of you who prefer to use that platform, or would rather read it without the qualms of Tumblr, or perhaps it’s easier to send to friends without looking like you spend all your time on Tumblr…. whatever the reason I have uploaded it!!
I’ll update it about the same time as I do on Tumblr (or perhaps I’ll post here nightly and there the next day depending on how tired I am). Even if you’d rather just read it here, go and give it some love over there too not like I need validation or anything. okay yes I do please love me
I cannot express enough how much you all mean to me and all of your love an support, I know I haven’t been here long but it means the world that you all are still out there and willing to feed into my insanity. Please never stop being you and doing what you do. I love seeing all of your comments and reblogs. So thank you truly.
Summary: The Yule Ball is finally here and maybe just once you get to be the princess in a fairy tale.
A/N: Guys, guys, this chapter IS SO SWEET AND SOFT AND I’M ASDKJDADGAD anyway. Hello to those of you who are new! I love you all so much (and if anyone would like context or a visual for this chapter see Cinderella or ya know your favorite Disney princess dance sequence… there are so many) I love you all! Please let me know what you think! Also catch this on AO3 soon!!
Christmas Eve and it seemed like the week had passed faster than the week before. Between finding a last-minute present—and a letter to Mrs. Weasley to see if a miracle could really happen—and wrapping the ones I already had, I was exhausted come Christmas Eve, so I did what I did every year: I read a book.
“So, do you have a dress for the Ball?” Hermione asked as we lounged in the Common Room watching the boys play chess.
“Yeah, my mother sent me one, it was the parcel I got the other morning,” I noted, my eyes not leaving my book—A Christmas Carol.
It was the evening before the Ball as well, and we were enjoying the buzz of the common room as Christmas approaching in the morning had everyone in a stupor. I had seen Draco at dinner, but Hermione stole me back for the evening, well, she tried.
Summary: Now that winter break was upon you, you finally had time to look into what your mother told you about as well as confront the other parent in the situation, the one you dread to think about and the one Draco had to live with.
A/N: Hello my darling loves! We’re finally getting somewhere with plot! And lore! And Latin! ((Seriously, something is lost when you know Latin and can translate the spells on the top of your head… it’s less… magical. But funny because the spells mean exactly what they’re doing and I don’t know if that a cheap lazy move or brilliant.)) Let me know what you guys think! Also I’m toying with the idea of uploading this to AO3… would you guys want that? Love you guys, stay safe.
Snape eyed me as I smiled through my exam, on cloud none the entire way. I had gotten through my History of Magic exam no problem and now Snape wanted us to recreate our Bellum Amoris antidotes. Weeks of worrying and I was finished with the second fastest time.
Draco beat me by a few minutes—he was allowed to the ingredients first—and we walked out of the exam hand in hand, not caring much about anyone who decided to gawk at us.
I was in too good of a mood. The term was done for the winter, I had finished all of my exams, and I wouldn’t be alone for the holidays when I remained at Hogwarts this year as I had the years before.
Summary: Will Draco find the courage to ask you out? And what happens when you two have class or lunch together? How will your worlds collide?
A/N: More of a intermediate chapter but ya know it’s still cute and a bit saucy toward the end. I love you guys so so much! Please don’t stop with your comments likes and reblogs, they mean so much to me you have no idea. Also don’t be afraid to come and chat! I’m mostly always here. Love you guys. Stay safe and creative.
I was glad that Hermione was my partner in Herbology. I had forgotten to go over today’s lesson last night and I wasn’t ahead or prepared as I normally was.
“This is the only time I letting you slide on this.” Hermione warned. “Draco or not, you still need to keep up on your studies,”
I nodded and watched as she handled the flutterby bush, pruning it successfully. I followed her suit, mimicking exactly what she did and reaped the same results. Professor Sprout seemed pleased with both of us and awarded Gryffindor ten points for each of us.
I watched Harry and Ron struggle across from us, and giving in, I went over to help. Harry’s eyes met mine and something passed between us: a truce of sorts.
Summary: Now that you two had to face other people and interact, knowing what happened… can the two of you do it? And how will it work even if it does?
A/n: This part is SO CUTE and I love it. I hope you guys know that this is far from over… I was serious when I said that I would rewrite the entirety of the series. I hope you guys are staying safe and stay tuned I have big plans for our confused lovers. Let me know what you think! ((Also, guys, please sleep and do your school work–don’t make me mother you))
I woke the next morning, still by the window, a letter on my lap and Penelope nowhere in sight. There was a familiar green seal on the parchment.
A fresh layer of snow covered the grounds of Hogwarts, it was almost enchanting. Stretching, I took my blanket and the letter and sat on my bed. Hermione was absent from her bed. I could only assume that she had gone down to breakfast.
Opening the letter, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and blinked through reading it.
Summary: So maybe you and Draco figured out that you don’t have to hate each other… but that about the rest of the school?
A/N: Who is ReADy foR ThiS!? Because I promise you all, you’re not. It’s been one of my favorite parts so far but let me know what you think! I love you guys and your feedback so don’t be afraid to comment or reblog! (Also this is over 3k words because I have no self control anymore)
The weekend passed, and due to final exams, I was holed up in my room most of the time. That’s what was nice about rooming with Hermione, I could cook my own food—the Muggle way—and she wouldn’t tell on me. Ramen was a lifesaver as we studied.
I hadn’t heard form Draco at all. Part of me wondered if he figured it out. The letter he wrote to me was getting worn form the amount of times that I unfolded and refolded it each time I reread his words.
The boys did coax us both down to dinner Sunday night, however. They weren’t quite convinced that I was fine and were still at my defense despite my change in mood and constant protests. In fact, it seemed like every Gryffindor in our year and then some were ready at my defense.
Summary: Defeated and betrayed you don’t know what to do. And you don’t do anything… Draco does.
A/N: Hello all of my new lovelies! I’m so excited to see you all and to have so many of you despite me just starting this new blog for my new obsession. It means everything to me, your notes and comments and reblogs! I love you guys, enjoy this slightly angst, slightly fluffy part. (Also Hermione is such a bean)
I fled Down to Hagrid’s and seeing the tears on my face and the pain in my eyes, Hermione, Ron and Harry all ushered me into Hagrid’s hut.
“What happened?” They all demanded.
“It was Malfoy,” Harry spat. “He’s not here. He did this,” He hissed, pacing.
I yearned to shake my head and prove him wrong. To say that Malfoy didn’t do this, but I couldn’t. I hid my face in my hands and sank into one of the oversized chairs around me, panic running through my system.
Summary: The other shoe drops and you weren’t ready.
A/n: Look at me posting twice in one day. Who am I? I don’t know. I love you guys and hope you enjoy some angst and pining. Let me know what you think! Please it means the world to me!
Draco’s feeling towards you started to morph from hatred and disgust to curiosity. You were almost too cryptic for his liking… it was too Slytherin for a Gryffindor.
So, he started to watch you a bit closer, learning your schedule and what you did or didn’t do. Most of the time he was left alone because you were in the Gryffindor Tower. He only assumed that it was the location that you studied in because you were never in the library other than to check out books.
Each day he found out nothing more than circling answers and more questions. It frustrated him He was the best at everything except knowing how you worked. Potter was easy, Hermione and Ron even more so, but you were a force to be reckoned with and he hated it.
Summary: Ten years ago, Draco was sure you were dead. But after receiving a letter from none other than you, his world is flipped upside down.
Pairing: Draco x Reader
Word Count:4k+
Genre: Fluff, a lil angsty
Requested:No, requests currently closed while I finish my sitting requests :)
Warnings:None
A/N: I know it’s been a while, and this is likely all over the place~ just something that’s been on my mind for a while and finally had some time to sit down and plot it out! Part 2?
The warmth of the fire can’t drive away the cold. It creeps in, starting from his toes and runs all the way to his chest. That cold that can only be associated with his own sadness. Draco sits in his favorite chair by the hearth, his eyes scanning the letter over and over again. Surely he’d seen this before.
“Darling,” Astoria, his wife of six years starts. “I’m putting Scorpius to bed, are you coming?”
“Not tonight,” he says. It’s firmer than intended, but he can’t even drag his eyes away to apologize.
Astoria lingers in the doorway of their meager living room of their meager cottage that they’d fallen in love with when they first saw it, but now needed more space. She eyes her husband warily and the letter in his hand, that smelled of the sweetest perfume and has him in a tizzy. She knew there’d been someone before her. Someone that never made it out of the war. Someone he loved more than anyone.
Astoria sighs, her eyes still watching her husband for a single second before she slips down the hallway.
Draco brings the letter to his lips, kissing the very paper it was written on, his mind wandering back to all the kisses he gave to you, all the times he’d kiss your forehead and hold you and tell you how much he loved you. He can’t believe the letter had even come.
Dearest Draco,
I’m sorry if this letter reaches you late. It is now May 10th, 1998, and by now you must be sure that I am dead.
Draco puts the letter down for a moment, his heart almost completely stopping in his chest. Alive? Is she alive? Should he leave now?
I hope someday you can forgive me for letting you think I’d ever meet such a fate in a war, but I assure you I am, for now, safe and sound. I made a deal with Dumbledore before your task. I’m continuing his work, growing my own power and studying as much as I can. I’ve followed the knowledge, as I always told you I would. I wrote the first half of this letter once I’d gotten out safely, but couldn’t bring myself to finish it. It is now August 25th, 2008. Ten years since I started.
She’s alive. She must be, if he’s receiving this letter now. He sets it on the arm of his chair and stands, pacing in that Draco Malfoy way. He stoops at the chair for his whiskey and the letter, his eyes scanning it.
I’ll be returning to London soon. I’ve taken up the Potions Master position at Hogwarts under Mrs. Granger’s rule, and I wanted you to be the first to know that I’ll be coming back. I hope to see you in Hogsmeade on the 29th of August. You know where. I’ll be there at 3pm, and I hope you show. I want to hear all about your life, Draco. Did you ever marry? Are you happy? I miss you, and I hope that you’ve built a life for yourself.
See you?
Love,
Y/N
Draco sits down in his chair again, his eyes wide and his heart pounding. Seeing you. Tomorrow. For the first time in ten years. The longest ten years of his life, thinking you were dead. The worst ten years. No, he married. He has a son. He became one of the most well-respected and astute healers in the entire wizarding world. He’s had a wonderful ten years. Right?
He stands again, pacing and pacing and pacing. Alternating between his drink and smelling your sweet, sweet smell that he’d tried so hard to preserve in one of his t-shirts you always wore to bed.
Astoria leans against the doorjamb, watching Draco pace and pace. She knows that pace. He’s stressed and conflicted and terrified. That look on his precious face…
She walks to him, taking his face in her hands.
“Draco,” she says firmly, catching his attention. “What is it?”
He’s quiet for a moment and she holds her breath, searching his face for any kind of answer.
“It’s Y/N,” he says, his voice almost a ghost of a whisper. “She’s alive. And she’s coming back. And she wants me to meet her tomorrow.”
Astoria drops her hands from his face, taking in his words. So, this was it, then. She knew who he would choose should it come down to it.
“That little twit,” Astoria breathes. “How selfish can she be?”
Draco, taken aback, gazes at his wife. “Selfish?”
“You were in hell for the first years of us being together because of her! You moped at our wedding. You won’t dare allow me to do simple things like wear your clothes to sleep in or go through your old Hogwarts trunk. All because you thought she was dead!” Astoria roars, finding her voice now.
“Darling, calm down,” Draco starts.
“Calm down?” Astoria roars, growing louder. “You’re going to tell me, your wife, to calm down, after telling me you’re going to meet the woman you’ve secretly wished I was for the last ten years? Don’t tell me to calm down, Draco. Don’t.”
Draco sighs. He paces the length of the family room, only stopping to sink into his chair.
“Astoria, I don’t know what to say,” he sighs. He drags his hands down his face, haunted almost. “She was the love of my life. She taught me everything I know about love and how to do it. That I was capable of it.
“Would you leave me for her?” Astoria asks suddenly, eyeing her husband.
“I wish I had an answer for that,” Draco relents.
Astoria nods. She squares her shoulders, holding her chin high as her eyes water. “Then you can sleep on the sofa tonight.”
She turns and exits into the hallway, and Draco can hear her stalking to the bedroom and the telltale door slam.
~
Astoria doesn’t speak to him all morning. She gets Scorpius ready for his mid-day lessons and ignores Draco.
So, he gets up, showers, tousles his hair, and squirts on some of his best cologne. He’d look like the happiest man in the world today. Maybe because he is.
He leaves the house without a word to Astoria, only stopping to kiss Scorpius on his head and whisper a quick “I love you,” words he never heard from his own father.
~
Hogsmeade bustles with shop owners and consumers and students, all exploring the new world and everything it has to offer. Draco walks amongst the crowd, his teeth chattering despite the warm August day. His nerves make every step feel longer than it is, and his palms sweat profusely. He allows his mind to wander as he forages down the cobblestone pathway; what would you look like? What would you be wearing? Would you smell the same? Did you ever marry? Are you happy?
His train of thought is halted as he approaches the place that you used to call your spot. The little ice cream shop across from Creepy Cauldrons, a vehement Halloween only shop. You and Draco would go on ice cream dates almost every Hogsmeade trip since fourth year when you admitted you fancied him, and he you. It was the one spot he couldn’t bring himself to walk into when he thought you were dead. Not even with Scorpius.
He pushes open the door, the little bell jangling as it always does. It doesn’t take long for him to spot you. You were in the same booth you were always in when you’d meet up. Your booth you shared together.
Draco approaches you, though your back is to him. He wonders if it’s a dream. Could it really be you? Is this a cruel prank?
Upon hearing his footsteps, you turn, Y/E/C eyes locking with his grey ones. Draco stops. His heart stops, his mouth dry, his eyes watering. It’s really you.
You stand and move to hug him, but Draco is stiff. He doesn’t hug you back.
“Draco,” you start, pulling away from him. “I’m sorry this is so sudden. I understand if you don’t want me back in your life at all, I just wanted a moment to explain myself.”
Draco nods. He takes his old seat, and you sit across from him.
Over his shoulder, Sir Harrington- the owner of the ice cream parlor- gives you a thumbs up. He’d been serving you ice cream since you were kids, and you had no doubt he would forget you or Draco.
“So,” Draco begins. He hides his shaking hands underneath the table. “You’re back? For good?”
“For good,” you relent.
“I thought you were dead,” Draco says. His voice betrays him and cracks. He clears his throat, but doesn’t continue.
“I know,” you say. You reach across the table for his hand, but he doesn’t move. You withdraw your hand, knowing he’ll be cold as ice until you can crack him. “I know what everyone thought. I knew the repercussions of what I did, but I’m only sorry to you.”
“Sorry to me?” He asks. “You’re sorry? You came here to tell me you’re sorry?”
“Draco,” you start, but he cuts you off.
“Don’t. You don’t know what it was like. I thought you were dead. I moved on. I lived in hell every single day that you were gone. I can’t even look my wife in the eye without wishing it were you,” he says through his teeth.
“You married, then,” you say. Your resolve weakens, and you know it’s hopeless.
“I did. Astoria Greengrass and I wed in 2001. It’ll be seven years in December.”
“I see,” you say. “I’m happy for you, Draco.”
“We have a son. Scorpius.”
You nod, chuckling to yourself. “The name we picked out for our first son?”
Draco nods, and has the grace to look slightly embarrassed. “Astoria knows what you meant to me. I wanted to keep you alive in my memory somehow.”
“Meant?”
Draco remains silent, his eyes on his hands as he considers his own words.
“Mean,” he says, finally meeting your gaze.
You sigh and allow yourself a moment to get lost in his eyes the way you wanted to every minute you were gone.
“I didn’t want to leave you, Draco,” you admit. “But it was for the best. I was doing dangerous potions work. Collecting samples of serums from creatures that can only be found in the deepest, darkest corners of the world. It was the type of exploring that I had to do alone.”
“You could’ve at least told me you were alive,” Draco says. He leans across the table, taking your cheek in his palm. “I died over and over again every day that I thought you were gone.”
You bring your hand up, holding onto his wrist, letting his words soak into your brain. You know you’ll likely never hear them again.
“I didn’t know if I would ever come back,” you whisper, your voice catching in your throat. “So many times I was sure I was dead, but I kept fighting. I wanted to come back to you.”
Draco drops his hand, though you had the feel of his warm palm on your skin already committed to memory.
“What are we to do?” He asks, reaching for your hand.
You trace the silver wedding band sitting on his left hand, fourth finger. “We go on with our lives. I’m sure I’ll be teaching Scorpius someday. I’m glad that you found love, Draco, and I’m sorry that it wasn’t with me.”
You stand, turning your back on the boy you love so dearly, and walk out of the shop.
Draco sits for a minute, taking everything in. Why hadn’t he tried to stop you? Why hadn’t he reached out for you? Why did he let you walk away from him again?
~
When Draco enters, Astoria rises from her place at their dining room table. She’s prepared for the worst, but Draco doesn’t look haunted anymore. For the first time in her life, he looks alive.
“Draco?”
His head whips to her, like he hadn’t seen her.
“Oh,” he says. “Hello.”
“How was it?”
“It was… good?” he says. He takes a seat at the table, his eyes trained on his hands, recalling the feeling of her finger on his wedding band. “She said she’s happy I’m happy.”
“What else?” Astoria pries.
“She just wanted to let me know she was alive,” he says. “She’ll be teaching potions at Hogwarts. She likes that we used her name for Scorpius, said she looks forward to teaching him someday.”
“She didn’t… she didn’t ask you to be with her?” Astoria asks. She can’t hide the shock from her voice.
“No,” Draco says. “She didn’t.”
“Well,” Astoria starts, her voice returning to normal. “I’m happy she’s okay. Come now, let’s shower.”
Draco rises, follows his wife into their bathroom, all the while in a daze. His mind wanders to his time at Hogwarts with you, how much he loved you then and he wonders if maybe he still does.
~
You look back at Draco, giggling as you pull him through the snow, trying to outrun Crabbe and Goyle to Hogsmeade.
“Darling, come on!” You grin back at him. “They’re going to eat all the chocolate chip, and you know it’s my favorite!”
“Slow down,” Draco laughs, pulling you to a halt. He wraps his arm around you, pulling you into his side. “You’re freezing!”
“Oh, it’s just a little cold,” you smile up at him. “We’re going to get ice cream, come on!”
“Maybe we should get some soup or something?” Draco asks, keeping you tucked into his side. “I don’t want you to get sick.”
You lean up, kissing him sweetly. “I love the way you take care of me, even when you’re stressed.”
Draco’s cheeks redden as he smiles down at you, his blond hair flopping in his eyes as he kisses your forehead. “You’re my love. I’ll always take care of you.”
Your returning smile is dazzling as you stop in the snow to hug him tightly, relishing in his warmth.
“Just two more years and we can graduate and be married!”
~
Draco towel-dries his hair as he sits on the edge of his bed. His mind feels like an unraveled ball of yarn, but he can’t ever remember feeling so happy?
“What’s on your mind, love?” Astoria asks, crawling behind Draco on her knees. She rubs his shoulders softly, kissing at his shoulder blades.
“Her,” he admits. “I was just thinking about some of our time together in school. Just some memories, that’s all.”
“Let’s have another baby,” Astoria says suddenly.
Draco turns to look at her, his heart torn. “I don’t think now is really a good time, Astoria.”
“Why?” She pouts. “I think it’s as good a time as any.”
“I don’t,” Draco says. He removes himself from her grasp, standing so he can properly look at his wife. “I just… I can’t right now. I know you can’t understand this, but I’m really trying to be the husband that you expect me to be.”
Astoria gazes up at him. “You’re rejecting me?”
“No, Astoria, I-“
“If you wanted to meet my expectations as my partner, you’d give me another baby,” she says, determined.
“I don’t want another baby with you,” Draco says almost immediately. His eyes are wide as he takes in the enormity of what he’s just let slip. “Astoria, I’m sorry-“
“Don’t,” she hisses. She closes her robe and moves to the bathroom, locking the door behind her.
Draco sits on the bed again, dragging his hands down his face once more. There it is, then. He doesn’t love his wife, he’s a terrible father, and everyone at St. Mungo’s would hear about this. With Astoria’s connections, he doubted there was a way out of this one.
~
Knock knock knock.
The door swings open and Narcissa Malfoy stands in the doorway, looking at her son who looks like he’d just walked miles and miles to even be at the manor. She takes him in her arms immediately.
“Hello, my darling boy,” she smiles, kissing his hair.
“Mum,” Draco says.
Narcissa ushers him inside, closing the door behind him. The manor had changed significantly since Lucius’ trip to Azkaban, where he remains for conspiring against the ministry. Everything is white and crème, no more blacks and greys, though the telltale Slytherin green still decorates the throw blankets and some statues.
“To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?” Narcissa asks, sitting comfortably on the sofa.
Draco takes a seat across from her.
“Do you remember Y/N?”
“Oh, how could I forget? She was fierce. It’s a shame what happened to her, I quite liked her,” Narcissa says, reminiscing to herself. “She would’ve done incredible things.”
“I saw her today,” Draco says. “She’s alive.”
“Oh, darling, are you still mourning her? I can get you some help, though you are the healer of the family,” Narcissa rambles.
“No, mum,” Draco says. He wipes his palms on his pants legs. “I mean, she wrote to me, and we met at the ice cream parlor. She’s alive. And she’s come back to teach at Hogwarts.”
Narcissa sits up immediately.
“Draco…” she starts, choosing her words carefully. “But, what about Astoria? Scorpius? You have a responsibility to your family.”
“I know,” Draco says. He rests his chin in his palm. “If she’d just told me she was alive… If she’d just… I would’ve waited.”
“Don’t say that,” Narcissa goads. “Then you wouldn’t have Scorpius.”
“I can’t pretend that I don’t love her, mum. Astoria wants another baby. I just… I would’ve waited.” Draco sighs. He runs a hand through his hair.
“Does Astoria know?”
“Yes,” Draco nods. “She’s not happy about it.”
“No one would expect her to be,” Narcissa says. “She’s just found out the same news that you have, but now it’s a waiting game for her.”
“A waiting game?” Draco asks, looking up at his mother.
“Draco,” Narcissa smiles. “When have you ever picked anything over that girl? You were almost killed trying to protect her. It’s only a matter of time until you can accept the consequences and chase after her.”
“I’ll lose everything,” Draco says, his eyes searching Narcissa’s. “I’ll lose my life, Astoria will make sure of that.”
Narcissa stands and crosses the space between them to sit next to her son. She takes his hands in her own.
“Answer me this, darling,” she starts. “Are you happy?”
Draco takes a moment to consider this, chewing on his lip.
“I love Scoripus, and-“
“That’s not what I asked,” Narcissa interrupts. “Can you honestly look at me and tell me that you’re happy.”
“No,” Draco admits. “I’m miserable. I’m stuck. I don’t love Astoria, she was just a good option, as harsh as it is. She deserves better, but I can’t lose my son.”
“Go to her,” Narcissa instructs. “Tell her how you feel.”
“Which one?” Draco asks, holding onto Narcissa’s hands for dear life.
“That’s up to you,” Narcissa advises. “But always remember this: You’re a Malfoy and no matter what, there’s respect given for the name alone. I can spin a bad reputation, but I can’t heal my broken boy.”
~
You flit around your kitchen- though it’s not really a conventional kitchen- throwing herbs and animal parts into the large cauldron that adorns the middle of the room. Who needed a dining table when you can eat in bed?
Taking a whiff of the potion, you smile- it’s perfect. You’re just about to extract it when there’s a knock on your door.
Draco stands behind it, hands in his pockets, cheeks rosy, hair perfect.
“Draco,” you smile. You hold the door open, inviting him in. “What a pleasure! I would’ve tidied a bit had I known you’d be dropping by.”
“Pardon the intrusion,” he smiles. “I called in a favor with the Weasleys to get your address. Still messy as ever?”
You laugh that cathartic laugh of yours, throwing your head back momentarily as you gesture around you. “Would you expect anything less?”
“Frankly, I don’t know how you function,” Draco laughs. “How do you find anything?”
“Organized chaos,” you shrug. “I’m sure you didn’t come here to goad me into cleaning, though. Is everything alright?”
At your question, Draco is pacing again. Honestly, this boy could pace a hole in the floor, but you only lean against the kitchen counter, your arms folded, watching him in all his amusing glory.
“What I’m about to say is going to sound daft,” he starts, chewing his thumb. “But I think I might still be in love with you.”
He stops pacing and looks at you finally, but you can only raise an eyebrow at him.
“Draco, you’re married.”
“I know. And it feels so wrong,” he admits. He closes the space between you, taking your face in his palms so gently. “But I’ve never felt as alive and free as I do when I’m with you.”
You pull away quickly, trying to be as gentle as possible as to not offend him.
“I know how you feel, because I feel the same way,” you start. Draco’s eyes light up. “But… I can’t be with you.”
“Why not?” He asks, visibly shrinking.
“You’re married!”
“What if I weren’t?” He counters.
“That’s not the situation,” you retort. “You are married. Had I known, I likely wouldn’t have written you. I would’ve let you find out on your own. I never meant to come between you and your family.”
Draco runs his fingers through his hair, clearly frustrated.
“You are my family,” he growls. “Can’t you see? You and Scorpius and my mum are the only people in this world who truly matter to me. I married Astoria because it was what was expected of me.”
“I’m afraid that’s not the way the world works,” you sigh. “I love you, Draco. I always have. I’ll probably love you forever. But I’m not a backup plan. You thought I was dead, you moved on. That’s something I’ll have to live with.”
“Y/N,” Draco starts. He folds his hands in front of him, and he grows more and more flustered by the second. “I’m standing right in front of you, telling you that I choose you.”
“And have you told your wife that?” You counter, folding your arms again.
“I wanted to see how you felt first,” he confesses. “I was leaving either way, or so it seems. I just wanted to see what you thought.”
“Draco,” you sigh. “Worry about your family for now. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”
~
Though the night is calm and peaceful, a storm brews in Draco’s mind at the thought of walking inside of his home. He sits outside on the front steps, encased in darkness, when it occurs to him that the home shouldn’t be dark.
Curious, he stands and pushes open the front door with no resistance. It should’ve been locked. Flipping on the lights, Draco chokes back a sob. The home is empty of any presence of anyone other than himself. No photos on the walls. No dishes in the pantry. No drawings or lesson reports on the table from Scorpius. Everything lay bare and abandoned and sad. Everything but one envelope sitting on the small kitchen table, now devoid of any flowers or vases.
Dear Draco,
After hearing of your escapades with Y/N, I’ve taken Scorpius away. I don’t know for how long we’ll be gone, or where we’re going, but I will not be a second option. I’ll allow you to decide: Me, your wife. Your son. Your home. Your career. All of your dreams. Or her.
Should you make a decision, send my owl immediately, as I’m sure she will have no problem finding me.
Summary: Years after the war, you teach Draco the patronus charm.
Requested:Yes!
A/N: Hey guys! Sorry I’ve been absent for so long, just haven’t been in a place mentally to write. This is just a little drabble of something that was requested that I thought would be a really cute piece to come back to! I’m working on all requests I have in my inbox right now, so if you sent one it’ll definitely be posted soon! Thanks for your patience. <3
The small wisp from his wand was more than he’d ever expected to see, more than he could ever hope for. He turns to you, a smile brighter than the sun on his face. You grin back, but inside you cheer harder than you let on. You’d been standing in the garden for around an hour now with Draco, trying to teach him the patronus charm- the one thing he could never seem to master at Hogwarts.
“I’m doing it!” He exclaims as he produces another light wisp.
“You need something a tad more powerful, darling,” you smile, leaning against the small wooden gate. “Something that lights you up.”
“I just keep coming back to you,” he confesses, waving his wand again, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.
The two of you had been married almost immediately after the war, choosing to stick by each other’s side instead of waiting. It’s been the greatest four years of your life- he still gives you butterflies in your stomach and you still take his breath away.
“What are you thinking about?” You pry, trying and failing to hide your smile.
“Our wedding night,” he smiles, mostly to himself. “But I think maybe finding you in the castle alive could work better.”
~
Your mind is suddenly taken back to being seventeen years old. A light breeze blows through your hair as you stand amongst the battle, watching from the edge of it all, not wanting to get involved but knowing you must.
So, you dive in. You charge forward with your wand outstretched, a cathartic battle cry ripping from your lips as you join the fight. You battle fiercely, never once backing down, even as you’re backed into corners or ganged up on. So many other students had your back during the battle.
Not once did you stop fighting, not once did you break down. Not once. But not once did you think about Draco, only staying alive so that someday, should he find you again, you could tell him just how much he meant to you.
When the fighting ceases, when it comes down to just Harry Potter and Voldemort, when Harry wins, the world feels a little bit lighter. It feels like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. With the breeze still blowing and the sun beginning to set, you take a moment to just be- to embrace the world for what it is and thank Merlin that you made it out alive. It was an overwhelming need to give back, to hug even your enemies and make peace.
So, you help move the bodies, some moving with magic, but most moving with your bare hands. You pick up the wounded, you pick up the dead and carry them into the Great Hall so their loved ones can say goodbye and hopefully make the peace you were trying to conjure on your own.
It was then, after setting down the last of the bodies- a Ravenclaw boy- that you heard the shrill sound of Draco’s voice. You turn, almost as if in slow motion and watch as he hits his knees in front of you, wrapping his arms around your knees and resting his forehead on your stomach. This was the first time he ever showed any kind of raw emotion around you, the first time he didn’t have it completely together, and that alone had your eyes watering.
Instantly, you wrap your arms around the back of his head so you can hold him to you.
“I’m so glad you’re alive,” he says through a hiccup. “I love you so much.”
~
“Y/N?” Draco asks, snapping you out of your memory. You look up at him, the warmth spreading through your chest. “Everything alright, darling?”
“Yeah,” you smile. You raise your wand and release your patronus, smiling at Draco as your black swan produces from the tip, circling you affectionately.
“Show off,” Draco mutters.
“Think about that day,” you tell him, your eyes starting to water as you remember the anxiety in Draco’s voice as he called out to you. “Think about that moment. It’s what I think about.”
Draco swallows once and nods. “If you think it’ll work.”
“It will,” you smile.
“I would like to make it interesting,” he smirks. “If this works and you’re right, we start trying for a baby. If not, we wait another year.”
“I can take that bet,” you grin, knowing the two of you wanted a baby more than anything in the world right now.
Draco braces himself, that stupid smirk still on his face. He takes a deep breath and you watch him draw in the moment before shouting “Expecto Patronum!”. A more solid, wispy blue black mamba escapes his wand. It dances around him, slithering around his ankles and between your legs before dissipating.
“Draco!” You exclaim, watching as the grin splits onto his face. “Draco, you did it!”
“Merlin, I did it!” He jumps once, then runs to you and lifts you off the gate to spin you around, sharing his excitement. “I couldn’t have done it without you, darling.”
“That was all you,” you smile.
Draco, keeping you in his arms, walks through the gate and towards your less than meager cottage.
Your fourth year at Hogwarts was filled with twists and turns and surprises that not even you could really fathom. The biggest surprise was finally accepting your own feelings for the Slytherin boy, Draco Malfoy. But with him comes years of family trauma and sadness, the stigma of a bully, and a love that you never knew you needed or thought you deserved. Draco loves you like none other. He’s your anchor. You’re his. You grow together in a way that you never thought possible.
“Forever,” he whispers in your ear every night as he kisses your forehead.
Fifth year comes and although it’s filled with darkness and gloom, Draco is your beacon of light. You run to him when the days get bad, when the nights get long or when you just need a reason to smile. Draco shields you from the bad, holds you all night long. There’s plenty of nights where you sneak together to his dormitory from the Common Room, limbs and lips tangled together like you wouldn’t wake up tomorrow.
“Forever,” he whispers in your ear as he holds you close to him.
Sixth year comes and Draco stands in front of you, his eyes full of unshed tears and sorrowful gazes. He holds your hands in his and you know what’s coming next no matter how hard you try and banish the thought. You shake your head, begging him not to say the words.
“It’s over, Y/N,” he whispers, his jawline hardening. “You aren’t safe with me anymore. I can’t protect you anymore. This is goodbye.”
The tears roll down your cheeks and your voice is caught in your throat. Your heart is in your stomach and the world feels like it’s slipping through your fingertips.
“You said forever,” you whisper now, watching the tears fall from his eyes as he stares at you, drinking you in like it would be the last.
“Forever,” he swallows. He turns on his heels, leaving you alone in the corridor.
You sink to your knees, the first sob of the breakup escaping your throat. You clutch your chest, hoping you could hold your own heart together. There would never be enough magic in the world to cure the feeling of heartbreak.
~
The days pass in a blur. They pass so fast you barely notice the change in the air, the added evils the wizarding world seems to be dealing with daily. You don’t notice the way Draco looks a little paler than usual. Or the way his black suits almost hang from his slender body. And you definitely don’t notice the emptiness of his eyes, or the way he looks at you longingly from across the Potions classroom. Or maybe you do notice. Maybe you notice everything, and that’s the problem.
Draco makes sure you don’t notice the winding snake now crawling up his left forearm and he makes sure you don’t notice the way his world seemed colorless now, or how he breaks down in the boy’s dormitory more often than not. No, he would never let you see him like this. Not because of his pride, or because he’d seem weak. No, he wouldn’t let you see him like this because he knows you’re stronger than he is. You always have been, and you always will be. You would throw yourself into it without hesitation, and then how would he keep you safe?
~
Damn him, damn Voldemort, damn Harry Potter. You can’t even really function anymore. Everyone is on high alert, waiting for Voldemort to attack, but you’re on high alert, waiting for the exact moment that Draco will break. You know it’s coming. You see it in his posture. In the way he holds himself a little bit stiffer, his chin a little bit higher. His tone is clipped and he walks past Weasley without making one comment. Something is off.
But no, you can’t follow him. You can’t check on him because forever doesn’t exist for you two anymore. Because forever was a lie and everything was a lie except for your love for him. Your love for him was bigger than this was. It was bigger than Voldemort. It was bigger than his need to protect you, so you will wait. You will count the seconds, the minutes, the hours, the days until you can hold him in your arms and whisper the words that made everything okay
“Forever,” you whisper to yourself. Because you’d love Draco Malfoy forever, no matter the cost.
~
Spells and curses fly by your head, and you know that this war is going to get uglier before it can get prettier. The patter of your feet echo off the walls of the crumbling castle as you run through the empty corridors, your eyes scanning the battling wizards outside for your boy.
The air reeks of rot and smoke and inhaling takes more out of you than you could ever fathom. Your eyes are scanning faster than your brain can register, the only sound comes from your heavy, panicked breaths. You had to find him. You were going to find him, if that’s the last thing you do.
~
Draco dodges curses and hexes, spells and even some punches as he runs through the corridor, his breathing labored and heavy as he searches for you. The fighting has almost halted completely, but you weren’t there. You weren’t standing there amongst the students, cheering as Harry Potter defeated Voldemort. You weren’t there, so where are you?
Draco enters the Great Hall, his eyes wide as he scans the bodies of the fallen Hogwarts students. He looks for your features- for your cute little nose, that hair he loves so much, for those lips he kissed so often, but he can’t find them, because you aren’t there.
No, you aren’t there, but you run towards the Great Hall, hoping, praying to Merlin that you wouldn’t see your boy laying among the fallen. You enter, scanning the floor, scanning the sobbing families, looking for Narcissa, or Lucius, or even Draco himself, but you don’t see him, because he isn’t there.
No, he isn’t there, but the minute you turn to run and search more of the castle, your eyes lock onto grey ones and you suddenly feel alive again. Relief, happiness, joy, everything all at once. Your knees buckle as you take him in. He’s alive. He’s safe. He’s a little dirty, but he’s breathing and he’s here and he’s walking towards you and you’re running. You run into his arms, flinging yourself around him as you sob loudly.
Draco catches you, holding you so tightly he was worried you wouldn’t be able to breathe, but you’ve never breathed better. He sinks to his knees, his fingers in your hair as he holds you. Because you’re alive and you’re here and you’re seemingly unharmed and everything feels okay because you’re here.
“I love you so much,” he mutters against your skin, refusing to ever let go of you again. “I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry.”
“I know,” you say urgently, taking his face in your hands. “I know everything, I love you, too.”
Your words are rushed and your voice is cracked, but you had to tell him, show him, how much you love him.
“I’ll never leave you again,” he says, trailing his thumbs hurriedly over your cheeks. “I swear it.”
“Marry me,” you say. Your eyes stay locked on his as the realization of what you’ve just asked hits him. “I want to be with you forever.”
“Yes,” he whispers, wiping more hair from your forehead. “Forever.”
~
You stand in the living room of an empty home, your eyes searching everything from the colors to the molding around the windows.
“Do you like it?” Draco asks, a small smile on his face. You can’t help but smile, because you really do love it.
“I do,” you say, your hands moving protectively over your swollen belly.
The house was more than beautiful- it was perfect. It was larger than a cottage, but not big enough to be a mansion. It was the perfect size for your growing family. The diamond ring on your finger glitters in the sunlight spewing in from the window, and little Scorpius bounces in your belly happily.
Four bedrooms, a master bathroom and closet, two stories, your dream kitchen, a family living room, and a large dining room. Draco had outdone himself. You love the pastel colors of the walls and the plush carpet throughout the home. It will be the perfect place to raise a family.
“Do you really like it?” Draco’s voice is small, almost child-like as he watches you in awe.
“I do, my love. I love it. It’s perfect,” you grin.
~
“Scorpius!” You call from the attached deck of your perfect little home. “Dinner!”
Draco bounds in first, twirling Scorpius behind him as they run inside. Scorpius is the first to run to you, kissing your cheek before taking his place at the table
“Hello, darling,” Draco smiles. He pecks your cheek once, then your lips. He leans down to your belly, swollen once again. “Hello to you, too, darling.”
“We still need to choose a name,” you laugh, running your fingers through your sweaty husband’s hair. “She doesn’t have a name yet.”
“I’m sure we can come up with one,” Draco shrugs, wrapping his arms around you. “Go on, I’ll take care of the plates.”
You smile, watching your husband grab plates from the cabinet. How did you end up so lucky? A beautiful life, with a beautiful husband, a beautiful baby boy, and soon, a beautiful baby girl.
~
You kiss Scorpius’ forehead as you tuck him in that night. You turn the lights off and amble to your room, your feet aching and your little girl kicking.
Draco is already in bed, his eyes scanning a work document. He turns down your side of the bed and pats the spot.
“Come here, love. Come relax,” he smiles.
You clamber into bed, snuggling up as close as your belly would allow.
“Would you still love me if I were this large all the time?” You laugh, running a hand across your belly.
“I will always love you no matter what,” Draco smiles, kissing your forehead. “Forever.”
