#eric cartman

GREGORY:Oh my, seems Craig’s little online army doesn’t have a care at all that I’ve taken command of his weblog.

GREGORY: Estella, there are people who are actually curious about thetrueside of things, would you believe that?

ESTELLA:Are youreally fiddling around with that stupid thing over there?

ESTELLA:Of course you couldn’t hold back from sating your bloated ego, you needed electronic strangers to help inflate it even further, you limp, detached and wounded tail of a diseased lizard.

GREGORY:Goodness, there are questions regarding both you and I, you know.

GREGORY:I haven’t so much as talked about myself at all, mind you.

ESTELLA:Why are there people attempting to talk to me through that device.

ESTELLA:Are you truly so stupid as to inform everybody of our whereabouts?

GREGORY:Heavens,no.

GREGORY:Just having some fun, is all.

GREGORY:You should join me with this one, spare yourself a moment why don’t you.

ESTELLA:Ugh, if it will get you off my back, fine.

GREGORY: Now this one asks what our impression of each of those incessant dullards Craig calls friends is.

ESTELLA: All of them are as stale and boring as a long forgotten water biscuit fallen beneath a dumpster.

GREGORY:Right you are.

ESTELLA:Can I get back to what I was doing, now?

GREGORY:Not quite, I think I’d fancy tearing down the walls of each individual here.

GREGORY: It’s only fair that these curious strangers get their just earful.

ESTELLA:[sigh]

ESTELLA:If you insist.

GREGORY: I suppose we might as well start with the most likely focus of interest, the original owner of this log.

GREGORY:Craig.

GREGORY:You know originally, I didn’t have all too much of an issue with this brain dead husk of a man.

GREGORY: I told him.

GREGORY:If he doesn’tfuckwith me, I would have no qualms against him.

ESTELLA:And yet here you are, still plucking splinters from the backside of your head.

GREGORY:I could tell he was going to be a problem from the start, I just figured he’d be too slow and careless to be much of an actualthreat.

ESTELLA:I’d almost say it’s adorable how angry you are over such a nuisance of a boy; But you’refartoo revolting to ever be adorable, so I will just say it’s amusing.

GREGORY:…

GREGORY: I don’t like him.

GREGORY:I’ll leave it at that.

ESTELLA:I couldn’t care less for that gelatinous clump of blue ink.

GREGORY:I suppose next would be his subordinate friend– Clyde, is it?

GREGORY:The one you stupidly chose to take control of.

GREGORY: Over just about any othercandidate.

ESTELLA:Ido not need to be reminded.

ESTELLA:He was simply the most emotionally compromised at the time.

GREGORY: It’s become clear that’s just how he always is.

ESTELLA: You sure took your oh so pleasant time getting me out of that putrid cauldron of body odor and unpleasantly placed hair.

ESTELLA:He’s quite revolting when he’s all alone, do you know this?

GREGORY:Do you mean… more so than you find othermen to be, or…

ESTELLA:Yes, I do mean more so.

ESTELLA: You have no idea the things I had to sit through with that horrid, small manhooded caveman.

GREGORY:I’m sure.

GREGORY:I have no real feelings towards him either way, though he seems a little too keen on Tweek for my liking.

GREGORY:Or, I should say, Tweekseems a little too trusting of him.

GREGORY: So in turn, I am not too fond of him, either.

GREGORY:Now, the one I find the most tolerable of the bunch is certainly Token.

GREGORY:I remember him well from when I was still alive.

GREGORY:Truly, if there were anybody to rival Wendy and I’s intellectual abilities together, it would be him.

ESTELLA: Well, he did throw all of us under the bus by telling Damien exactlywhat we’ve been up to on the surface, so I do not think I canpossiblysee him in the same light as you.

GREGORY: Oh, well I suppose there is that.

ESTELLA: Other than that, I find him a rather boring, simple minded individual.

ESTELLA:He could die the most foul and upsetting death imaginable, and I would not think any different of him– same goes for the rest of those boys.

GREGORY: Mm, well, I still think I find him the most bearable of the bunch.

ESTELLA:If you say so, you blood-drunk man loving tick.

ESTELLA: Let’s talk about the best of the bunch, why don’t we?

GREGORY: Oh? Do you suddenly have a favorite?

ESTELLA:Why yes Ido.

ESTELLA:Stan, of course.

GREGORY:Oh.Him.

GREGORY:That thick-headed, good for nothing drain on society…

GREGORY:That’s who your favorite is?

ESTELLA:Yes indeed.

ESTELLA:I just love it when the real you comes out.

ESTELLA:Look at you now. Can’t help your horns from showing, you’re just soupset that anybody could possibly like that van-hit skunk.

ESTELLA:As if I’d actuallyenjoy him any more than the other bloody idiots.

GREGORY: There are few people more deserving of hell than Stan Marsh.

ESTELLA:I could think of many, but if you take such offense to your own personal death, I won’t stop you from thinking of that.

ESTELLA:My, you’re so much more pleasant to be around when you’re angry…

ESTELLA:My opinion of him is rather neutral, but he’s a man so there isn’t much about him that’s favorable anyways.

GREGORY: Let’s talk about his counterpart instead.

ESTELLA:And who would that be?

GREGORY:Kyle.

GREGORY:The bloke with the ugly green ushanka.

ESTELLA:Oh,thatcollapsed anal cavity of a sewer rat.

ESTELLA:The opinionated one who thinks his insufferably bland words actually matter.

ESTELLA: Rather rich, but that’s all I can give him.

GREGORY:He’s always thought of himself as some sort of martyr of first world problems.

GREGORY:I’m sure if he wasn’t so full of himself he’d be less of a drain to talk to.

ESTELLA:Funny, that’s how I feel about you.

ESTELLA:You’re really just describing yourself, you know.

GREGORY: When I fight for justice, I’m not doing it to make myself feel good.

GREGORY:I do it for those who cannot take action themselves.

ESTELLA:Oh, I’m sure youlovetotell yourself that.

GREGORY:Speaking of selfish drains…

GREGORY:It truly shows how utterly stupid all of Stan’s friends are, still hanging around that tub of lard Eric.

ESTELLA:He didn’t really speak much while I was around, so all he is to me is another worthless sausage on a rusted old pan.

GREGORY: All I saw was that he still looks like he’s 10, and certainly still soundslike it.

ESTELLA:Smells like it, too.

GREGORY:I never did like the boy, he completely ruined an entire covert operation, you know?

GREGORY:Directly caused the death of a fellow comrade.

GREGORY:Of course we were all turned back before the war, thus nullifying all of our actions henceforth, but it still stands that the old paranoid fool he killed never quite was the same.

ESTELLA: Oh, let’s not start thisconversation again.

ESTELLA: You talked my ear off for days on end the last time I decided to indulge in your simplistic babblings of self-perceived hardship.

GREGORY:Though who I find most interesting throughout all of what we went through was who really saved us all in the end.

GREGORY:I hadn’t seen all too much of him beforehand, yet he sacrificed himself for the entire town over in the end.

GREGORY:ThatKennyfellow…

GREGORY:You know, despite spiking me over the head with that lawn ornament earlier, I don’t really have too harsh a thought on him.

GREGORY:I blame Tweek and Thomas for not warning me more than anything, really.

GREGORY:There’s something about him that seemed all too familiar, though, even as a young adult now…

ESTELLA:I am taking advantage of the fact that you look like you’re lost in your tiny, hollowed out peanut shell of a brain to say that I am leaving now.

ESTELLA:There are better things to attend to.

GREGORY: I can’t even remember how he came back from the dead, he just appeared one day, good as new.

GREGORY:I never knew the original ruler of hell personally, only his son of course, but perhaps there was some sort of additional deal made for him to return to the land of the living once more?

GREGORY: Honestly, this perplexes me severely now that I think about it, and I can’t believe I’ve not thought about it more until now.

GREGORY:Needless to say, this one’s an interesting individual, to say the least.

GREGORY:Definitely not one I’d think to trust any time soon, however. He’s far too… suspicious of a person…

GREGORY:Hmm…

GREGORY:Well– that’s all of them I suppose.

GREGORY: Though, hmm…

GREGORY:I could have sworn Craig’s friends had one more on their team…?

GREGORY: I wonder where they could be in all of this mess.

GREGORY: …These are quite fun, I think I may indulge myself in a few more…

college stylenny… can’t stop thinking abt them

you guys ever think abt how butters said that the elf kingdom has piñata parties

Yes. Eric Cartman is a terrible person. He is an evil character and has committed many sins. However, nevertheless, I pity him. I’m sad that a child grew up in such situations and received that kind of care, and education. He is just a young child, remember? Also, for his mother. Yes she did and still does wrong things for her son. However, it makes me even more distressed to think of all the work she had to do as a single mother and of the contempt she had received from other people. What a tragedy

Oof forgot to post these here

I stan Loona !!!