i realized the reason i like the word faggot but dont rly like the word queer is that queer has become so normie that its essentially toothless but faggot still gets some eyebrow-raises and pearl-clutches. it’s rude and vulgar and so when you say it in casual conversation it’s like haha nice.
that being said if in 30 years people start saying stuff like ‘fag theory’ and 'fag community’ i might literally kill myself
This person is seriously unhinged. Agere due to trauma has nothing to do with sex. It’s a defend that mentally ill people can develop due to childhood abuse. Its the opposite of a fucking kink.
Not to mention this person has to be either a terf or altright to talk like that.
Second photo is because its a link to their other blog (its currently empty). Block both blogs and report for threats.
Don’t reblog any of those ‘universal girlhood’ posts without checking op first 9 times out of 10 they’re transphobic in some way
misogyny has become so acceptable nowadays
universal experience every fucking girl (female child) had to experience the moment she realized men stare at her body, that her body could be used as a weapon against her at any moment, that she was something men saw as something to conquer and violate simply because she was born a girl, she is forever traped in her female body, that her childhood ended right there and her male peers didnt have to worry abt this crap. and no faggot ass tranny has ever had to experience this as a child
*makes valid arguments about oppression and misogyny*
*proceeds to ruin it by calling people violent, hateful slurs*
a) that use of the F slur…wow. Idc if they are also gay, using that slur to insult someone like that is homophobic as fuck. They prove my url more and more true with every passing day.
b) as an afab person, this person really sounds like she has some trauma she hasn’t properly dealt with that needs it. Like, I’m not even trying to say that mockingly. This is just…yikes. She obviously really hates being afab bc of trauma (which…I think is true of a lot of TERFs and they project that on to trans men) and, in all seriousness, that’s sad.
Did that person forget that ugly women exist? I’ve never once had a man show interest in me, much less see me as some kind of conquest. Like I spent a large chunk of my life wanting men to be mysoginistic and gross to me because no one ever had and I felt ugly because of it. Making that a prime part of your “female” experience is not only unhealthy, it’s also isolating for women who didn’t experience it. Genuinely from the bottom of my heart talk to a therapist about that, something seriously bad is going on inside your head. You don’t have to resign yourself to being miserable all the time.
^^^^^^^^^
This. You’ve put it into words.
As a kid, I wanted boys and men to hit on me bc I had been made to feel ugly and I wanted someone to make me not feel that way. I was literally a baby lesbian so it had nothing to do with attraction to them either, it was about the validation.
I ended up being groomed online by grown men bc of this. Bc they made me feel pretty.
Misogyny shouldn’t be a “universal woman experience”. It should be something we comfort each other through, absolutely, but not something we base our womanhood on. That’s absolutely not healthy at all and that’s absolutely what is going on here / what TERFs perpetuate.
It also reduces the female experience to nothing but suffering which really isn’t true.
It sucks sometimes absolutely. But every other gender comes with baggage too. It’s not “misogyny” to tell people to avoid toxic radfem rhetoric.
the way you people will just try and debate me like its not just a fact that cis people experimenting with pronouns and presentation makes life safer for trans people end of story. like sure its my opinion itd be cooler but also its just a fact that making it harder to single out trans people and making diff or multiple pronouns + varied gender expressions more acceptable will literally protect trans people.
if more cis people used they/them or presented more gnc id be less likely to get harrassed by transphobes this is not hard to comprehend. i could exist comfortably without being completely outed and put at risk bc my WAY of existing would be acceptable bc it wouldnt just be trans people doing it.
also bc trans ppl r cooler so maybe ppl should wanna be like us instead of us having to strive to be as close to cis as possible. bite me
like obvs this doesnt just go for me wanting they/them to be more normal because im a they/them but like in general yknow. literally no harm imo can come from cis ppl throwing their lot in w trans ppl and experimenting w their presentation and pronouns. i feel like that only leads to a better understanding of ourselves as a collective and breaking down boundaries that make presentation and roles so rigid. like it wont fix transphobia of course but i think it would definitely be a better alternative to expecting trans ppl to work so hard to “pass”
like why dont you pass less lol? why do i need to look like what you think my gender should be? maybe you should put on some fucking makeup and cargo pants and say fuck it and have some fun for once in your life so me dressing like a little faggot doesnt put a target on my back
sorry to sound like a 56 year old but online internet culture has completely eroded the concept of personal boundaries and it’s evil evil evil
i recently got called a faggot to my face unprompted by someone who was, i’m sure, attempting to be fun and cute and thought that they could do that because we were “friends” and because i had referred to myself as a fag in passing at one point. but at no point did i ever say it was okay for them to call me that, and even if i had, i’m sorry to sound lame but i don’t think you should unprompted call your friends slurs without at least warning for it. lmao.
if this had happened in real life, i would have fucking slapped them, and if it had happened in a public space, so many people would have been like ‘hey what the fuck’.
online culture has completely and i mean completelydestroyed peoples ideas of boundaries and crossing them. people are soooo on board with doing the most fucking insane and invasive shit because the internet gives a false sense of security and closeness. people are so convinced that the things they say and do on The Web aren’t real or impactful and will never have consequences. it’s literally ruining people’s abilities to both set/enforce boundaries and to respect them. i hate it i hate it so much i want to go live in the woods forever
this post, like all my posts, is not for terfs or radfems. fuck off.
Just wrote a really long draft on Twitter about Kendrick Lamar’s Auntie Diaries and couldn’t bring myself to post it there, but since Tumblr is consequence free I might share it here later…
For now… If your reaction to that song was to be mad that he said faggot, please please PLEASE grow a brain and try again.
lmmaooo imagine being on a show that RELIES on LGBT+ fans for clout and views and jokingly calling your friend who plays an iconic gay character the f slur wooowww i just can’t anymore
It’s been two years into their marriage, and Hikaru and Akira thought they could keep it secret among only friends and family, because there weren’t many conduits from which the news could get out. Weekly Go was a magazine about Go, not a gossip tabloid, and Akira knew Amano was no-nonsense when it came to what goes into the reporting, so there was never a concern there. Some might think that Ochi would spread the word around, but Akira knew him, and knew him well enough to know that he wouldn’t do such a thing. The reality was that Ochi only told Akira’s father when he found out, and no one else. No, it wasn’t something done by anyone they knew; perhaps someone simply sensed their relationship from their interactions. After all, their living together was always kind of an open secret in the Go world. Either way, it was a risk they both knew they had to take, but they figured most people in the profession cared little about anything other than Go itself, so they didn’t expect the drama they currently found themselves in.
What happened was that in March, a forum thread rumoring about Akira’s private life blew up on social media, and before long people were piecing together evidence of their relationship, complete with photos of their rings to boot. They could withstand the backlash from fans who were homophobic (of which there was a surprisingly large number), but when the phone calls started flooding the Go Institute and Weekly Go’s editing department, and some parents withdrew their children from their Go school because they didn’t want to “leave their kids with a couple of gays in the evening,” that was when it started to hurt. Some players would forfeit their match just to prove a point, even if that meant it would result in an automatic defeat. Comments such as “I don’t wanna play against a bunch of faggots” started flying around. Even those whose reaction was not outright negative took on a different attitude whenever they faced them in person. People would avoid looking them in the eyes, or addressing them too directly. It felt like there was a wall everywhere they went, with everyone they faced. Of course, a few pros with less noble souls, who had long held personal grudges against either Akira or Hikaru, jumped on the opportunity to bash them. Mashiba, Gokiso, and Zama were just a few names to start. It is the 21st century, it is unbelievable, but homophobia is very much still alive.
Things turned for the worse when people found out that Touya Kouyou had acquiesced to their marriage. Despite his established position in the Go profession as a figure deserving of the utmost respect, there were voices questioning his integrity as a father, a person, and a formerly professional Go player. It didn’t matter to those people that sexuality had absolutely nothing to do with skills in Go; after all, this is a profession in which people still believed female players were somehow inherently less superior than male players, nevermind the fact that Go was an abstract game of strategy. They put pressure on the institutes to try and disqualify or otherwise remove them from matches, some even going as far as calling for a collective boycott on their matches. Together, Gokiso and Zama put forth a suggestion: send Touya Akira and Shindou Hikaru as this year’s Japan representative for the Samsung Fire Cup. Their ultimate goal, of course, was to pit Touya Kouyou against his own son.
“Let them beat each other in a showdown.” Gokiso said to the Go Institute. “And if Touya Akira or Shindou Hikaru loses, I’d like to see them out of the Go world.” Finally he’s found a way to get rid of those two eyesores that’s been a thorn in his side ever since they entered the world of professional Go.
“Yes, and the same for Touya Kouyou. He said he’s retired, but he’s still meddling around playing for China!” Zama agreed. “If he loses, let’s ask him to retire for real… though I can’t see him losing to either one of those two!” He laughed, much to the disgust of Amano and a few others who were in the meeting. “Those brats would have no idea what hit them!”
Amano was about to hurl some insults at the two of them, before Serizawa-sensei stopped him. “I must agree, having them in the tournament sounds most intriguing.” He said.
“Serizawa-sensei!” Amano exclaimed with disbelief.
“Now, now.” Serizawa calmed Amano. Needless to say, Touya Kouyou was a valuable figure in the Go profession, but Serizawa knew the two younger players even better, having been teaching them in his study sessions. He knew what a loss it would be for the world of professional Go if any of those three were forced to leave. But he also knew that they wouldn’t be pushed out so easily. He had plenty of faith in them. “Amano, it would be premature to assume anything. At any rate, as professional Go players we never want to back down from a challenge.”
“But…”
“Serizawa-sensei,” Zama eyed the man with sly eyes. “What are you suggesting?”
“Merely that the results may not turn out to be what you were hoping for.” Serizawa smiled back.
“Hmph.” Zama crossed his arms defiantly. “We’ll see about that.” As far as he could tell, one way or another someone would have to go, and it would bring him pleasure to see any one of them out of the competition.
Touya Kouyou accepted the challenge quite easily. He’s been in the profession too long to not understand the underlying social dynamics, the latent dogmatism in certain social beliefs among many, even the top, players. He supposed that there was no helping it, and that he would only bring further trouble to others if he avoided this confrontation with his son and Shindou-kun. It was not a fight he picked, but since they have decided to pick it, he would see through it to the end. If worse comes to worst, he would leave, truly, if only for his son and Shindou-kun to stay.
But he has no intention of losing on purpose; not only was he sure that neither Akira nor Shindou-kun would be happy with that, he himself could not allow folks like Zama and Gokiso to have the pleasure of succeeding in trying to disgrace the three of them. He will fight with all he has, and trust Akira and Shindou-kun to have gained enough strength to fight back.
“Shindou…” Akira looked at Hikaru with worry, after they had gotten the call from Serizawa. “What are you thinking?”
“…Probably the same thing you’re thinking.” Hikaru said. He could imagine what Touya-sensei would say. “We’re gonna fight.”
Akira remained silent. Yes, they have to. It is inevitable, and knowing that is what pains him. He inhaled deeply to calm his nerves, then opened his eyes to look at Hikaru. Do not worry, he told himself. No matter what happens, Shindou is here. As long as Akira had him, no matter where they go, what they do, they can make a way for themselves. That was what he always believed in.
“We should get ready.” Akira said. He turned to go bring the Go board out. If they will be fighting his father again, they are going to need all the practice, all the training, and all the study they could get. His father will certainly come at them with all his strength.
Father… Akira felt conflicting emotions in his heart. He knew this day would come; the day when he must face his father and attempt to defeat him. He just didn’t think it would be under such circumstances. To be fair, though, his father did warn him after that previous match with Shindou. He knew the path would not be easy, and he had expected as much resistance from these people. Fine. They can bring it on.
“You can’t fight my father like this, Shindou!” Four hours later, they find themselves arguing over the Go board at the third game they’ve had. Akira knew his father’s Go very well, and if Shindou hopes to win, he’ll have to…
“Shush! I know what I’m doing!” Hikaru yelled back. Akira could never get used to his Go, but Hikaru has a logic of his own. “What I need is for you to tell me how I can predict his steps! Over here, this move…” They spent hours and hours studying together. They got help from Serizawa and Kurata. Even Ogata agreed to play them, one match each, to gauge how well they would do against Touya Kouyou. They trained intensively for months on top of their scheduled matches, all to prepare for the ultimate match with Touya Kouyou at the Samsung Fire Cup.
And it wasn’t easy getting there. Starting on three separate paths, they all had to defeat their respective opponents in the preliminaries, then in the first, second, and third rounds. Touya Kouyou watched Shindou’s progress all along. If they want to fight him in the semi-finals, they’d have to get past the strong Korean pros. If Shindou-kun managed to get through, then he would prove to be a most fascinating player, and Touya Kouyou would like nothing more than to play against him. He was curious to see just how far the young man have come, and how far he could go.
But Akira wouldn’t let him have that chance easily. When it came down to the semi-finals, Touya Kouyou was set to butt heads straight against his own son. He knew Akira would come charging at him with all he had, trying to protect Shindou-kun in a strange sense. All three of them had their careers at stake.
Akira started the game strong; he was aggressive, clearly going in for the kill, but also knowing when to wait because he knew his father’s game well. As Touya Kouyou sensed the last time he played his son, Akira’s Go is continuing to change; it is significantly different from the game he used to play when he was younger, having made leaps of improvement in strategy during the years they’ve been apart.
But Touya Kouyou really wanted to play against Shindou, and he was not going to let Akira stop him. There is something about Shindou’s game that Touya Kouyou couldn’t let go of; he could almost understand why his son was so attracted to Shindou-kun from the outset. The seemingly bottomless power and potential of his Go have only been rivaled by one other player: Sai, the one player that Touya Kouyou had been waiting and waiting to play again. Shindou-kun had said that Sai disappeared, and wouldn’t elaborate on what happened. But if that is true, and there is no way for Sai to come back, then Shindou is the closest link Touya Kouyou had to Sai. He must play against Shindou-kun; he must find out what new level his game has reached now.
Deftly he blocked off Akira’s attack on the left side of the board. Even Akira’s Go now started showing notes of Sai. What kind of Go has his son been studying with Shindou-kun?
“Honinbou Shuusaku…” The name slipped from Touya Kouyou’s lips, and it earned a sharp, nearly hostile look from Akira. When it comes to knowing Shuusaku’s game, Touya Kouyou had plenty of confidence that his knowledge isn’t any less than Akira’s. Boldly he moved into Akira’s territory, knowing well how a player playing after Shuusaku’s style would respond.
In the meantime, Shindou was in the final stage of his game against the other Cup contestant, a professional player from China. Though China had been dominating many international Go tournaments in recent years, the player Hikaru faced was surprisingly not as strong as he had feared. If this is the top level of players in international tournaments, then why hasn’t Japan won more of these competitions?
“I resign…” His opponent finally gave up after a long period of thinking. The reporters in the room all came upon Hikaru at once, wanting to ask him questions as it had been the first time a Japanese representative had made it past the semi-finals in a long time. They wondered why Japan hadn’t sent Hikaru out to tournaments earlier if they had such a strong player stashed in their deck. But Hikaru cared little for interviews and did not want to have his time tied up; he hurried over to the other room where Akira and Touya-sensei’s game was still going. When he got there, he was alarmed to find that Akira was losing the game.
Hikaru looked at the Go board on the monitors. He could see where Akira had placed his stones, and almost instantly understood why he had done so; Akira had been preparing for an attack in the final stage, but before he was able to place all his stones in the right places, Touya-sensei had gone in and started attacking his formation. And now into mid-game, Akira had lost all the advantage he built up in the beginning of the match.
Akira’s eyes were angry and filled with frustration. He was disappointed with himself in his inability to pull off the move. If it had been Shindou… if Shindou was sitting in his seat now, he would be able to pull it off. Akira just knew it. Shindou would see that one move he needs to make in order to save his stones, the move that was now evading Akira’s eyes…
Damn it, Touya, don’t you give up… Shindou gritted his teeth. He knew that somewhere in the room those despicable folks who are chanting for their exile from the Go world must be watching, waiting for the moment to jump and cheer for Akira’s defeat. He couldn’t let them have their way! Come on, Touya! It’s right there!
This wouldn’t do, Akira-kun will lose.
“Huh?” Shindou’s heart practically jumped out of his chest. Who was that? He just… he just heard someone’s voice. A very, very familiar voice. And it didn’t come from anyone in the room. It came… from within him. It was a voice he hadn’t heard in years.
He is not in a good state of mind. He will resign prematurely soon if we don’t do something about it. Hikaru!
Sai!
Hikaru was frozen to his spot on the floor. Was it really Sai? Is he back? His eyes scanned wildly across the room, looking for that familiar head of long black hair and the large, puffy white robe.
Sai, where are you?!
I’m right here! I’m right here in your heart!
Huh?Hikaru frowned. He raised his right hand and placed it over his thumping heart. His blood was surging quickly through his veins, excited from the reunion.
I’m sorry, Hikaru… This is all I can manage… You won’t be able to see me…
Sai…
I’ll explain everything later, but right now we have to stop the game. We can’t let Akira-kun resign just yet. It is too soon!
But… what are we gonna do?
I’m going to help you save Akira-kun. You saw the move too, didn’t you?
Y-Yeah… But wait… Sai, I… You’re not… disgusted? I mean, about Touya and I being together?
What are you saying, Hikaru?! Why would I be disgusted? Haven’t you always loved Akira-kun?
Uh… I guess? But you know, most people would think that’s gross…
What? Why? Love among men was common in the Heian Era! Nanshoku was a long-running tradition, and later openly practiced as Shudou among samurais well into Torajirou’s time! Is it not so in today’s world?
Um… well, yeah… Kinda… A lot of people think it’s wrong…
That is bizarre, Hikaru! And you’re telling me that’s why they’re asking for Akira-kun to leave professional Go?! How ridiculous! How could any honorable Go player even dare to ask someone like Akira-kun to stop playing?!
Well that’s the thing, they’re not honorable… Do you remember Gokiso? He’s one of them…
Of course I do! And I am not surprised to hear he is responsible! Then it is even more imperative that we not let such people have their way! Come on, Hikaru! Right now saving Akira-kun is our priority!!
Y-Yeah!
Akira’s hands were balled into a fist. He lowered his head, and began, “I re-”
“Wait!!” Shindou yelled, pushing past the cameras and reporters. His voice surprised everyone in the room. Some of the cameramen flashed their cameras quickly. All eyes were focused on Shindou. “Let me play.”
“Shindou…?”
“What are you saying, Shindou-pro?” Serizawa-sensei, standing among the spectators, asked.
“I’m saying let me take Akira’s place. I will continue playing this game.” Shindou said, his voice low and his eyes serious. He had done this once, under the direction of Sai, back at that antique shop with the Keichou flower vase. Hikaru witnessed how Sai easily beat the duplicitous owner, who was a 5-dan pro, and then turned that Go board around and beat the very same game he just played himself. That was how strong Sai was, and unless Hikaru himself was just as strong, he wouldn’t be able to protect anyone, let alone Akira.
“But that’s against the rules… We can’t let you do that…” One of the tournament staff said.
“I’m fine with it.” Touya Kouyou said, and once again everyone was surprised. “So you are saying you can pick up Akira’s game as it currently stands and still win?”
Not just win… I can even… “Yes.” Shindou said. He already knew in his mind what he had to do. The best move…
Yes, Hikaru, the best move… I see that you have figured it out as well.
Yeah… Thought Hikaru, not the strongest move, nor the winning move, but the best move… The Divine Move.
“Very well.” Touya Kouyou said. “If that is what you are saying, then I am even more interested in playing. What say you?” He turned to the tournament staff. “I have no problem with it, and seeing as Akira would’ve resigned, and I would’ve moved up to the final game to play Shindou-kun anyway, why don’t we move straight towards the final round now?”
“This is crazy! It’s absolutely unheard of!” There was uproar in the room. Zama gritted his teeth. Damn Touya Kouyou and Shindou Hikaru… what are they playing at? Some questioned the fairness, others admitted that they are indeed curious as to how Shindou planned to reverse the lead of this game. For a while the room boiled with heated arguments. A representative from the sponsoring company had to come out and halt the game. He asked the three of them to follow him into a room where they could discuss this in more detail.
“Touya-sensei, I hope you can understand our standpoint. As sponsors of this event we cannot simply change rules on a whim…”
“I understand that, but if I recall correctly, your Chairman’s stance in your company’s involvement with this tournament is mostly concerned with publicity, is it not?”
“…” The representative could not find a comeback to that.
“If it is publicity he wants, then he’ll certainly get it if you let me play.” Hikaru said. Akira looked at his husband with alarm.
“Shindou, this isn’t right.” He said. “This was my game against Father. I lost because I was not strong enough. It’s not fair to change players in the middle of the game…”
“Akira, I can assure you I do not mind it.” Touya Kouyou said. “What I care about is what Shindou-kun said: that he can turn this game around. I want to see that. I want to play a game like that against him.”
“But Father, if that is what you want, we can play that in private.” Akira said. “To change the tournament rules now is not fair to the players who have already lost. They’ve lost their chance at the Cup.”
“Yes, which is why it is even more important that we play this in the formal tournament round.” Touya Kouyou said, eyeing his son seriously. “Is your career not at stake here? Surely you should know that for Shindou-kun and I to suggest such an outrageous thing, we are both prepared to put our careers on the line.”
Akira’s eyes widened. Now he understood, as he looked at both his father and his husband, who both looked back at him sharing the same note of seriousness in their eyes. Yes, they both understood that what they are asking of the sponsor and of all the previous players is selfish, and that is why they are ready to swear on their Go for it. Whoever loses will never step foot again in the professional world of Go.
Is it really necessary to bring it this far? Akira thought, but had a feeling he knew the answer.
“I will not lie to you, I am curious to see how Shindou-pro plans to continue playing this game.” The representative said.
“Then let us continue the game.” Touya Kouyou said. “I will decide on the change of rules; is that alright?” He eyed Shindou as he moved towards the door.
“Fine with me.” Shindou followed him. The representative then followed them, with Akira coming out behind.
The crowd was quiet as they stepped back into the spotlight. The representative took up the MC mic and announced that the sponsor will grant the special final round, to much controversy. Reporters went crazy jotting down notes and thinking up new headlines for their next publication. This is quite an exciting game to see, and they were all sure that the entire international Go community would buzz about this for the next few weeks.
“Shindou-kun will carry white, exactly where Akira has left off.” Touya Kouyou said, looking over the Go board. Even though white is losing advantage, starting with Akira’s stone formations on the board is like playing with a large handicap to begin with for a strong player such as Shindou. If Shindou is starting with a handicap, then Touya Kouyou should no longer have to carry a komi. “But since I have to play against two people in one game, there will be no more komi for black. We are playing purely for points now.” If they looked only on territory on the current board and disregard the automatic 6.5 komi points for white, then black leads by 9 points.
“Agreed.” Shindou said as he took his seat. He sat upon the chair with an air of regality. That stormy, heavy atmosphere of pressure that Touya Kouyou first felt when he played against Shindou-kun in his Shin Shodan match has returned. The shadow of Sai…
Hikaru, let us begin.
Yeah, let’s go, Sai!
So the match resumed, with Shindou taking Akira’s white and Touya Kouyou taking black, and Akira watching from the sidelines. Shindou’s heart throbbed with affection as he looked at every stone Akira placed. They were all perfect, all of them; placed at the perfect spot, the perfect place, as though Akira knew exactly where Hikaru wanted them.
Hikaru… you have been playing with Akira a lot, haven’t you?
Yeah… It’s like we can practically use telepathy now. Look at this! It’s almost like he built the formations for me.
I wonder if this man realizes…
Hikaru looked up at Touya-sensei’s concentrated expression. I don’t know… But I know that I wouldn’t have been able to pull this off if Akira hadn’t built this for me ahead of time.
Hikaru, we must tread carefully. If he finds out our intentions, he will surely block us off.
Yeah, I know. That was one of the rules for this type of game he learned when he first practiced it. The Divine Move… The best move… Sai, did you always know that was what it meant?
…No, I did not. And perhaps that is precisely the reason why I was punished. I was too conceited, carried away by my own power and pride. I thought I had won that game, until you pointed out the mistake. I couldn’t accept the humility. I refused to believe that you could become as strong as, or even stronger than me. That was why I… I…
Sai… It’s ok.
I’m sorry, Hikaru. I truly am. I wish I could say it face to face. Perhaps this is also what God is trying to teach me: that we only ever realize the preciousness of something after we’ve lost it.
Shindou understood that very well. Losing you was just like that…
Yes, I am sorry. It was my fault. God showed me no mercy, because I did not know to show it myself.
Sai…
The best move, the Divine Move, the merciful move… I only understood that after I was severed from you.
Hikaru’s hand tightened around the sensu in his hand. It appears that both he and Sai had a lot to learn from their split. Sai… I will play it. The Divine Move. I will finish what you couldn’t…
Yes, Hikaru, please. Be a better player than I was. Show the mercy that I wasn’t capable of.
The air in the room seemed to have solidified. Everyone watched the progressing game intently. It moved on steadily, almost too smoothly to Touya Kouyou’s liking. He looked at the younger man. Shindou-kun… Sai… What are you planning? And for the first time in a long time, Touya Kouyou felt threatened once again. There is no doubt in his mind that Sai is somehow in this room with them, playing through Shindou-kun. Touya Kouyou saw three people within his opponent: Sai, Akira, and Shindou-kun himself.
“What is going on?” Amano rubbed his chin thoughtfully, his eyes glued to the monitor. “Who actually has the lead now?” He asked Kosemura.
“It’s close… White is catching back up from the 9 point deficit - Shindou-pro is down to a 3 point deficit!” Kosemura reported.
“It can’t be… can it?” Amano scratched his head further. If that was true, then Shindou-kun would truly be…
This is it. They are entering the endgame. So far everything has been going as Hikaru planned, but he knew Touya-sensei wouldn’t give it up easily. That’s why he spent all those nights staying up late playing against Akira. He had to master every move, every thought of Touya-sensei. He had to be able to fully anticipate even the unanticipated.
And indeed Touya-sensei played an unanticipated move. It was a strong move that threatened a lethal blow to his formations, the fortress he built up from Akira’s perfectly placed stones. But if he took it in here, and counting the prisoner in…
Hikaru, the path! Do you see it?
Yeah, I see it!
Touya Kouyou gasped just a fraction of a second before Hikaru made the final move, a move he played together with Sai, as one. Touya Kouyou finally saw it - but he saw it too late. The room was plunged into confusion as they both started counting their territories.
“I can’t tell who’s won!” Amano exclaimed. The game was so close to even. “What is it, Kosemura?!” He yelled at his subordinate, who was scribbling quickly on paper trying to tally the counts.
“47… 49… 55! Black has 55 points!” Kosemura said finally.
“White has 55 points!” Reported another journalist from the adjacent table.
“55 too?!” Amano whipped his head at the two players. “A tie…? So it must be true…”
“What?!” Gokiso dropped out of his chair. A 55-point tie, after white had come back from a 9-point deficit?! A 9-point deficit against Touya Kouyou?! “A tie… but that can’t be…” The room was rowdy as everyone began their own discussions of the game.
The sensu Zama had been chewing with his teeth fell out of his mouth. They had all been done in. They had all been taken for fools! A tie meant that there were no winners, but also no losers! No losers means none of them has to resign! Was that what Shindou had been aiming for the whole time?!
Mashiba stood in front of the monitor with his mouth agape. He had never seen anything like this, and probably would never see anything like it again. A tied game against Touya Kouyou… from a deficit as such… He slowly turned his head to Hikaru, who incidentally looked up and met his gaze with a furious glare. Mashiba yelped, straightened up, and left. Two days later he would resign his professional status.
“This is ridiculous!” Gokiso’s voice could be heard up front. “What do you take us all for?!” He addressed both Touya Kouyou and Hikaru. “This is the Samsung Fire Cup! There’s supposed to be a winner!”
“Ah, yes, I forgot.” Touya Kouyou nodded. “I took out the komi, so we no longer have that half point to decide a winner. Well in that case, I believe that by tradition, a tied game is white’s victory?”
“Oh, so Shindou-pro won?” Kosemura perked his head up. “That’ll be a real piece of news! ‘Shindou Hikaru wins the Samsung Fire Cup against Touya Kouyou’! Man, Japan’s players have made a real comeback!”
That sent Touya-sensei and Hikaru into laughter. Gokiso humphed irately.
“Don’t get cocky! You only won out of luck!” He said to Hikaru, who simply did not have the energy to deal with him anymore. He stood up from the chair and headed in the direction of Akira. He wanted nothing more than to go home, take a warm bath, and have dinner with his husband. Touya Kouyou, too, stood up to take his leave, but not before addressing Gokiso.
“Do you really think anyone can draw a game against me by pure dumb luck?” His voice was dangerously low, his eyes flashing anger at Gokiso, who gulped anxiously. “No… that was no coincidence. Shindou-kun tied that game against me on purpose.”
“Tying… on purpose?!” Gokiso’s wide eyes turned to Shindou’s back in disbelief. “But… he played you just normally…”
That’s right; those are the rules of intentionally tying a game: you must count accurately, reacting quickly to changes in both yours and your opponent’s territories; you must play at your normal speed, and you must play in a way that hides your intention to tie the game. In other words, you must be good enough to fool your opponent into thinking you were playing for a win while invisibly working towards a tie. You must be in entire control of the game. And Shindou did all that; and not only did he do it, but he did it against Touya Kouyou.
“Do not underestimate Shindou-kun, Gokiso-sensei.” Touya Kouyou said solemnly.
“Yes, indeed.” Serizawa joined the conversation. “I cannot imagine any parent in their right mind would not want to let those two teach their children. They have so much talent.” If people weren’t convinced of the fairness of changing the game at the final round before, they now have no more contest. Everyone in the room, everyone except Akira, was fooled. Akira was attempting to do precisely the same against his father, only he was not able to finish the move. But Shindou was here, and as Akira believed, he made it.
In the end, Hikaru refused to receive the Cup. He insisted that it was a tied game between the three of them, if only to disallow Zama and Gokiso the pleasure of thinking they could force Touya-sensei out. Instead, he told the sponsor to donate the prize money to Japan’s Go Institute. He wanted them to use the money to set up exchange programs for Japan’s insei’s to go out and visit other countries to study Go. It was a much better use of the money in his opinion.
They decided to take a taxi home, and the silence in the car reminded Hikaru suddenly.
Sai?!
There was no response. Panic gripped Hikaru’s heart.
Sai?! Are you there?!
…Yes, I am here.
Oh, goodness, don’t scare me like that!
Hikaru…
Yeah?
I have to go.
What?! No!
Hikaru…
Don’t go! Sai! Come on! Stay!
Hikaru, I think you probably already know… I was never actually back.
Huh?
I am a remnant. A figment of your imagination created from memories. The real Sai is gone. I can’t come back to life, Hikaru.
What are you talking about?! But you’re Sai!
No, I am you.
You’re… me?
Yes. And I will always stay with you, in a way. And Akira-kun, too, he will stay with you. You are strong enough to walk your own path now; believe in yourself.
Sai…
Goodbye now, Hikaru.
Wait! I… Sai, I just want to say… thank you. Thank you for everything. Thank you for teaching me Go, and bringing me to Akira. I… I don’t know what else…
Say no more, Hikaru. I understand. It has been a pleasure getting to know you.
Me too… I’m glad I found you.
It’s been real fun, huh?
Yeah! You bet!
A breeze rushed into the taxi through the slightly open window. It blew a bit of Akira’s hair into Hikaru’s face, making him turn to the black-haired man. Akira looked back at him with quizzical eyes.
Sai… can I still talk to you, from time to time? I visit Torajirou’s grave every year. Can you actually hear me there?
…Yes, Hikaru. I can hear you. Your words come through, but I won’t be able to respond.
That’s fine; as long as I know you’re listening…
“Shindou?” Akira asked, his hand reaching gently for Hikaru’s.
Goodbye, Sai…
Goodbye, Hikaru.
And then it was silent, and Hikaru knew Sai was gone. Tears fell from his eyes, and he leaned forward to bury his face into Akira’s shoulder.
“Sai was here…” He whispered with a faint smile on his face, and not a moment too long he felt Akira hug him tighter. Later, when he could pull himself together, he would explain it to Akira, and to Touya-sensei, too. Sai was here, and he played a beautiful game of Go.
I was raised a girl and still identify w aspects of womanhood and grew up w attraction to women being gay so when I’m attracted to women it’s gay. society sees me as a man (usually cis) so when I’m attracted to men it’s gay. I’m nonbinary so when I’m attracted to nonbinary people that’s gay. you can’t escape me. if you think I’m hot that’s a lil faggy of you.
[ID: 2 pics of the same flag., 1.) Colors, from top to bottom: Purple, pink, light pink, white, yellow/gold, orangs, red., 2.) The flag with the color meanings written on each line. Purple: Power, defying oppressors, pride. Pink: Self love, healing, friendship. Light pink: Purrs, kitties, companionship. White: Unity, enlightenment. Yellow: Joy, inspiration, warmth. Orange: self expression, confidence, creativity. Red: independence, courage, endurance. End ID.]
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(updated vers bc the original looked too much like a lesbian flag and i dont want any confusion!)
gender that relates to cats and being a fag! it can be a gender for having a strong connection to the word fag/faggot, cats, being a fag, and being a catperson! (not exclusive to men or masc-aligned people)
the bottom 3 colors have been colorpicked from the catgender flag
overheard an old man talking about how he got a great deal on a bouquet of flowers and is excited to give them to his wife whose in the hospital rn because they’ll make her “happier than a faggot in boytown”. insane thing to say
overheard an old man talking about how he got a great deal on a bouquet of flowers and is excited to give them to his wife whose in the hospital rn because they’ll make her “happier than a faggot in boytown”. insane thing to say
what the fuck is an open relationship. die for me or go fuck yourself
Check the comments for:
chronically single bitch who views polyam/open relationships as lesser+the reason she’s single in the first place.
VS
a dirty polyam faggot who’s got a web of loving + supportive partners, and is about to get engaged to one of em- about to drop the “mono is still the majority, you just have shit taste in men and assume incompatibility is a personal attack. Thats why you’re single, not b/c of polyamory as a concept.”
overheard an old man talking about how he got a great deal on a bouquet of flowers and is excited to give them to his wife whose in the hospital rn because they’ll make her “happier than a faggot in boytown”. insane thing to say
