Missing Rishikesh and the incredibly intense and magical time I had there a lot these last days. This special place became my home and I could never have imagined how much I would fall in love whit it - and how deeply it would break my heart to leave it again.
About one week ago I left this most magical place where I learned to open up my heart and found faith in myself surrounded by the indian jungle, the holy ganges and overwhelming positive energy. I lost a big piece of my heart there. How bittersweet the pain of missing something so much and how wonderful to have experienced a time so beautiful that it can be missed so badly.
About nine months ago I came back from India after having stayed there for five weeks to do a yoga teacher training. Nine months is a pretty long time compared to five weeks. But still I catch myself in secret moments missing this wild magical country nearly as bad as in the beginning. It seems I had to leave a part of my soul there in return for experiencing so much. So much joy, so much doubt, so much pain, so many feelings. So much life. I don’t think of this intense time each day or each week. Now and then something reminds me of India, a song I listen to, a picture I randomly discover, a familiar feeling while doing yoga. And then there’s a tiny tension in my stomach and a strange kind of sadness. But something awakens, too. Like a spark of light, shining brightly while vibrating. It’s a shy little fella and I’m afraid to scare it away if I try to get closer, catch it. Before I can grasp it, it’s already gone. What stays is a strong desire to go back. I’m longing to jump once again into this gigantic magic pot called India filled with unforeseen adventures, a unique kind of magic that makes me believe in fairytales again and love, oh, so much love.