#gallbladder

It’s almost 7am and I haven’t slept. I’m having a really bad time with my gallbladder. Long story short it has Polyps. Doctor at the ER told me that “You’re fine. They arent that big so therefore you don’t need to remove it”. I AINT FINE. I get in so much pain when it acts up. The pain is so unbearable that I either puke acids or food or just go to the toilet to relieve the pressure and pain. In addition to that, this week my right leg gets severe pain and I can’t even move it or stand with for a few minutes. DON’T YOU HATE WHEN AN ER DOCTOR DISMISSED YOUR PAIN! DO I LOOK LIKE I WANTED TO GET BILLED FOR FUN FROM THE HOSPITAL WITHOUT INSURANCE?!

Mind you I have a regular Doctor for this but they also think I’ll be fine living with these damn Polyps since they aren’t growing. I HAD TO LITERALLY CALL HIM FOR RECOMMENDATION ON A SURGEON AFTER THE ER DEBACLE! Oh btw if the polyps gets bigger its potential to be CANCER! Like why would I want to live like this and wake up to CANCER? Like why?

Also, if you do choose to live like this you have to have a crazy diet. No fats or cholesterol food. I literally lost 20+ lbs. That’s cool and all but sometimes when the pain hits me for a week some of those days I don’t eat. More like I can’t. My body refuses. I get so nauseated. And acid is everywhere. And omg your sides feels likes there’s a mass that’s about to explode and it’s stabbing the shit out of your insides.

Anyways I’m going to try and talk the surgeon soon. I can’t take it anymore. Before I was ok keeping it since the pain only last a day. It has been months now and the pain is longer and it is more painful than before. I am so scared of surgery since I never had one. I don’t like not having control and not seeing things. I’m so scared to not wake up. I’ve read some ppl journey here who had gallbladder issues, some gave me hope but others gave me more of my fears. Idk how to feel about this decision. I JUST WANT MY LIFE BACK. I WANT TO EAT REGULAR FOOD.

I’m ranting here instead. I’ve been stuck at home for quite a while now. I don’t really talk to ppl and my circle of friends is low. I mostly talk to my wife. But I need another outlet.

After I’d had my gallbladder removed, some dude offered up the completely unsolicited and bonkers advice that I could heal myself with prayer. He volunteered that if I repented of my sinful ways - the results of which were my gallstones and the subsequent failure of my gallbladder - that I could regenerate my lost organ and become whole again. He said that God’s benevolent love would not only return to me my missing gallbladder, but would remedy the loss of the appendix that exploded when I was 18 and the cancer I was probably going to get from all the premarital sex I was reveling in. He then, without asking, put his hands on my stomach and proceeded to appeal to the Lord to cure me of my ailments, provided I lived a good life from that point forward and stopped leading others into the arms of the devil by my dark example.

I was reminded of this very real moment this morning, because I realized that this is exactly how it feels to talk to Republicans about healthcare.

.

.

.

P.S. My gallbladder did not grow back.