CAN WE JUST APPRECIATE HOW BRAVE AND CONFIDENT MC IS
*Contains Episode 1 SPOILERS*
I came in with the mind set that MC was going to be a super tropey reverse harem heroine. Kind of like Yui from Diabolik lovers where she isn’t even a person.
Just look at MC she looks like a super cute cinnamon roll but gurrrlllll you have some BALLS and I lived for every single second of her character in this episode.
She’s super determined to keep her show running and keep the same energy that her father brought to the show and I love that she’s running from place to place and hustling like a pimp.
One thing I can’t stress enough is that she speaks her goddamn mind.
You tell her MC! Finish her! Ref Anna on the side tho lol
Now don’t get me started when she went to go look for Victor when she found through Anna that he was withdrawing funding from her company.
She went up to receptionist of his company like “LET ME TALK TO HIM OR I WILL GO TO HIM” and she FUCKING DID
MY GIRL IS FROM THE MOTHAFUCKING HOOD!! FUCK YO RULES BIACH !
Remember when Vic walked into the building like it was his palace or some shit cuz he had to make an “emergency visit or whateva”?? All his employees started bowing down n shit but my GIRL didn’t
Then she met with the grand DICK himself my boo Victor
She be like hey why you cutting my funding bruh?? I need it! Then he was like cuz is just as I thought…. TRASH.
It hurt my girl for like a second but then she started thinking of her hommies from the hood in Loveland and then she pulled up a OOHH Hell NOO and was like Aight you GONNA Pay fo dat shit
If we make it big don’t bring yo lil bitch ass running to me cuz it gonna be late as fuck. You Good?
MC told him infront of every single one of his employees!! Every single one!! the shameeeeee on his cow tho
I FUCKING DIED. I was dead. ☠️ ☠️ ☠️ just like every single one of his employees
Then my boii was so amused and so intrigued by hood rat MC that he looked at her like FUCKING TRY ME with that sexy ass smile of his
MC looked at him like I’m ready BITCHH bring IT.
Them death stares got me like OOOOHHH is gonna get good.
If Anime MC is like this then I’m in for a treat with RENEGADE MC. I’m living so much for her bad bitch energy that I honestly forgot that Gavin didn’t even have enough screen time and that’s coming from one of his #1 hoe’s.
I think I might up just developed a big ASS crush for MC.
Anyway, Good Job MAPPA so far I’m hooked.
Still a low blow for naming her “Watashi” tho when she has more personality than Yui
Figuring out someone’s thoughts is as difficult as disclosing your own thoughts to others. Even so, it isn’t necessarily wise to keep silent and leave the matter be. Having just started going steady with one another, how would MC and Gavin deal with such a situation?
Word Count: 2279 words
Whenever one requests for another person’s opinion on a matter, they usually do so because they couldn’t come to a final decision on their own. So, they required a second opinion in order to either narrow down their numerous options or to get a basis for forming their own opinion.
Unfortunately, not many would openly share their opinions when requested, whether it was due to hesitation in bearing part of the responsibility that came with being involved in the decision making, the fear of having their opinion shunned or they merely didn’t wish for others to be pressured into accepting their opinion.
Therefore, even for a question as trivial as what to have for lunch among work colleagues, the most common answer that one would get would be “Anything is fine”. While such an answer may seem considerate and polite at first sight, it was actually inconvenient to the questioner as the latter was left to make the decision on their own without any additional hints.
This was especially problematic when it involved choosing a gift for someone.
For a straightforward man like Gavin, who had no idea at all when it came to the things that women would like as gifts, the countless choices of bags, cosmetics, accessories and clothes that were available in the mall were enough to make his head spin. Despite there being so many choices available, none of the things that he saw during his window-shopping trip had given him the feeling of being a suitable gift for the girl.
Then again, what would she like to receive as a gift?
Not one to beat around the bush, Gavin had tried asking the girl directly about it in the middle of a conversation about their upcoming plans for celebrating the girl’s birthday.
“Anything is fine.”
As expected, the girl had answered him in a cheerful voice that she was fine with anything and that she also wouldn’t mind if he didn’t get her anything because she was well-aware that he had been preoccupied with work recently.
That’s the kind of person she is, always so caring and considerate. Even during those times when he had missed out on their dates due to his work, she hadn’t uttered a single word of complaint. Instead, she had always cheered him on and requested that he take care not to get hurt during work.
For his devoted girl, how could he bear to show up empty-handed on her birthday?
Ever since the producer met Gavin again, she got to know him a little better, a little different from the impression of a violent delinquent that had been painted of him during high school. If anything, the current Gavin fitted her initial impression of a socially-awkward but kind senior, who on a particularly rainy day, had given her his jacket to shield her from the heavy rain and had run away before she could thank him.
Perhaps, Gavin had always been kind.
This belated realization had made her wonder for a moment, of a time if she hadn’t been influenced by the rumors surrounding Gavin, if she had ignored those rumors and mustered the courage to approach him. How different would things have turned out then? Instead of being disconnected with each other for years, would they have been friends…or perhaps something more?
Since time could never be rewound, that possibility would be something that she would never know for sure.
Still, she was grateful to have resolved the misunderstanding between Gavin and herself now concerning the bloodstained letter that she didn’t read. It was after resolving this matter that their relationship, which had been stuck on a standstill since high school, had truly moved forward once again.
Since then, she had witnessed the different sides of the senior who used to be unapproachable to her during high school. No, he was no longer her senior. It would be more apt to say that Gavin had progressed from his status as her high school senior to her protector, someone who she could entrust with her life. Even before they had started going steady, Gavin had been her stout protector, who kept her safe and rescued her from dangers countless times.
Initially, she couldn’t understand why Gavin would go so far to keep her safe when they weren’t even any close to each other during high school. Unable to come up with a plausible reason, she chalked it up to his sense of responsibility as an STF agent in ensuring a citizen’s safety.
Even though she did have a slight suspicion that Gavin might have had feelings for her at that time, she had instantly brushed off that possibility, believing that she had been presumptuous for even having that kind of thought. After all, why would Gavin have feelings for her?
As far as she could remember, she had always been a quiet girl that didn’t really stand out during high school. Aside from that, she rarely meets or exchanges words with Gavin at school, let alone doing anything significant for him. Thus, to her, it would be unlikely for Gavin to have liked her out of the blue since then, much less now, after years of being apart without any contact between them.
Nonetheless, it did warm her heart when she noticed how Gavin gradually opened up to her now as time passed, with him speaking less stiffly to her and how he wore his heart on his sleeve before her through his simple gestures and vivid facial expressions.
That was not all, though.
Whenever she couldn’t contact Gavin because he was away on a mission, she would be so worried about him that she hadn’t been able to sleep well for days. Whenever she learnt that he had been injured after missions, she would be so anxious and upset that she would be having a hard time holding back her tears, as though she was the one who was hurt.
Eventually, she realized that the reason for these turbulent feelings were because she had fallen in love with Gavin. Having lost the opportunity to know Gavin during high school, she didn’t hesitate to confess her feelings to him at the right opportunity. And now, here they are, a few months later, discussing their plans for celebrating her birthday during a phone call.
Even though this would be their first-time celebrating her birthday as a couple, she was intending to spend the day together at home instead of going outside since she was tired from the continuous days of working overtime and would rather not mingle with the crowds, which would be unavoidable on a weekend.
Of course, instead of deciding everything by herself, she had asked for Gavin’s opinion on the matter, that if he was fine with them spending the day at her place.
“As you like.”
It was an answer that she had expected, but she was a little disappointed by it. This was because it wasn’t the first time that she had received such an answer when asking for Gavin’s opinion.
Based on the few months of them being together as a couple, she had noticed that Gavin would always leave it to her to make the decisions by stating that he was fine with anything as long as she was happy. While she did feel flattered that Gavin would prioritize her over himself, this had also made her feel bad as she can’t help but to suspect that Gavin might have been forcing himself to accommodate her wishes.
Just like how Gavin wanted her to be happy, she also wanted the same for Gavin. She would never want to be the one being accommodated one-sidedly in their relationship.
But, how exactly should she broach this matter to him?
For the umpteenth time, Gavin gave the small box within his jean pocket a slight squeeze, as if to confirm that it was still within his possession. After browsing through shop after shop, he finally came upon the gift that he considered perfect for the girl. Fearing that he might lose it, Gavin had been constantly checking up on the box in his pocket at every available opportunity until the moment he reached the girl’s place.
“Gavin.”
Upon hearing his name, Gavin snapped out of his thoughts and naturally looked towards the girl who was sitting right next to him on the couch with her head leaning on his shoulder.
“Can I be honest with you about something?”
“Of course,” he answered immediately without looking away from the girl.
Unlike Gavin, the girl was quite hesitant to speak. Instead, she pulled away from him and sat up straight on the couch. Although he was feeling a little anxious with the girl’s gestures and hesitance, Gavin didn’t prod her to speak. He chose to wait for her to speak up at her own pace, which he didn’t have to wait long.
“Gavin, you have always let me decide on things as I like ever since we got together and I do appreciate that,” she said before looking directly at him with a sad smile, “However, I wish for you to decide on things as you like too. Do you get what I mean?”
The young man didn’t say anything and merely fixed his sight on the girl. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand what she meant. He was just …surprised. He didn’t expect that he had unwittingly made her sad and the worst part was, he wouldn’t have realized the problem if she hadn’t spoken up about it now. Even though it was with much difficulty that his feelings for her were finally reciprocated and they had been dating as a couple for months, he was still so oblivious of her feelings and thoughts at times, which made him furious at himself.
Mistaking his silence as bewilderment, the girl said, “Instead of being accommodated one-sidedly, I wish for us to come to a mutual decision together when it comes to making decisions.”
To be honest, Gavin had neither forced himself nor had he kept his opinions to himself in order to accommodate her. If anything…
“Actually… I am clueless when it comes to the things that you asked for my opinions, which is why I leave it to you to make the decisions,” confessed Gavin while looking down and scratching the back of his head awkwardly. “I thought that since you know better than me, the choices that you made would certainly be better than if it’s from me, who didn’t know anything.”
Scoffing at his own misconception, Gavin then returned his gaze back at the girl. “I am sorry,” he said earnestly while meeting the girl’s eyes, “I didn’t realize that I had made you upset by doing so.”
The girl’s expression had softened, long before Gavin had apologized.
“It’s nothing to apologize for, Gavin. I brought this up because I didn’t want any misunderstandings to remain unspoken and eventually fester between us. Now that we have talked about this, we get to understand each other’s thoughts better, am I right?”
Gavin nodded.
“So, I would also be honest with you. I would prefer that you share your opinions with me, Gavin, even if you think it is silly or when you have no idea at all. Can you promise me this?”
“Mm, I promise.”
Having received his word, the girl clapped her hands together and smiled brightly.
Seeing the girl’s bright smile, Gavin thought that there was no better time than now for him to reveal the gift that he had bought for her birthday. So, he slowly took out the small box from his pocket and presented it on the palm of his left hand to the girl, who had gasped in surprise at the sight of it.
“Gavin, this…”
A knowing smile crossed the young man’s face.
“Whether it was back then or now, the only person on my mind, who had kept me going no matter the obstacles, have been you and only you, no one else.”
Having said that, Gavin then lifted open the cover of the box with his right hand to reveal a pair of identical silver rings with a gold-plated gingko leaf pattern in the center. It was a pair of custom-made promise rings, which signified an unmarried couple’s commitment to their relationship.
“Even though we had only been dating for a few months, I wish for us to stay together, now and always, and never be apart. Would you accept this?”
The girl, who had been covering her mouth with both hands all this time, had giggled with glistening brown eyes.
“Of course! Of course, I accept!”
Beaming with joy, Gavin then proceeded to put on the smaller promise ring on the girl’s fourth finger of her left hand. Once he was done, the girl had already reached towards the other pair of the rings in the box that had been placed between them. Without saying a word, she reached out for Gavin’s left hand and carefully put the ring on his fourth finger in the same manner as hers.
Engrossed in admiring the sight of the promise ring on his ring finger, Gavin was surprised when the girl had lunged forward to hug him without warning. Even though she didn’t say anything and merely buried her face deeper onto his chest while hugging him, the slight feeling of dampness on his chest was all Gavin needed to understand her current feelings. So, he returned the girl’s embrace with a contented smile and spoke out the rest of the words that he had wanted to told her on that day.
MC hadn’t heard from Gavin for quite a while. Unable to focus on work, she ended up working overtime in office, which led to an unexpected incident.
POV:MC (Third POV)
Words: 1969 words
It had been a week since the last time she met Gavin.
Even though there had been times when she had lost contact with Gavin for much longer than that, she couldn’t help but to be anxious this time due to a disconcerting dream that she had been having recently. Within the dream, she was wandering alone in complete darkness. Just when she heard Gavin’s concerned voice calling out to her in the dark, she lost her footing and fell from a great height… which then prompted her to wake up from the dream with a racing heart.
While it could have been just a random dream without any significance, she couldn’t shrug off the possibility of it being a sign of the future to come that was shown to her by her precognition Evol. Ever since she realized she could glimpse a little part of the future through her dreams, she hadn’t been able to treat any of her dreams as a random figment of her subconscious.
Since Gavin had been a part of her latest dream, it made her wonder if it meant that something was going to happen to him or if he was going to be in danger because of her again. Consequently, this also caused her to remember that past incident with Josie, where Gavin had come to her rescue when she fell into the trap that was intended for the former while trying to alter the vision of Gavin being in danger that was shown by her Evol.
As a STF agent that deals with Evol-related incidents on a daily basis, she knew very well that Gavin constantly faces dangerous situations and there had been countless times when he had to place his life on the line to ensure everyone’s safety. Thus, it was unavoidable for him to be wounded from his missions. But still, even if she wasn’t strong enough to protect Gavin from harm, she had hoped that just like how Gavin had looked out for everyone else, she could be the one to look out for Gavin.
After giving one last look at the last unanswered text message that she had sent to Gavin an hour ago, she kept her phone in her tote bag and proceeded to pack up her things from her office desk in preparation to go home. Since she can’t help but to check on the unanswered texts that she had left Gavin at every opportunity of a break, she hadn’t been able to get much work done today.
In fact, she hadn’t realized that her action was so conspicuous until Kiki and Willow had teased her about it, which she had then responded to by pretending to be offended in order to hide her embarrassment. She wasn’t sure if she had convinced them with her feigned anger, but at least they hadn’t pursued further on the subject.
Having finished packing her things, she picked up her bag and walked out of her office. As she waited for the elevator to arrive, she stared at the constantly rising number that was shown on the electronic panel between the two elevators. Just when the next number was going to be her floor level, there was a dull ‘thuk’ sound and everything went dark without warning.
Startled, she grabbed her bag instinctively before reaching a hand into it. After fumbling around for a while, her hand eventually settled on the familiar shape of her smartphone, which made her lips lifted upwards one-sidedly. Once she took out her phone, the light of her active touchscreen had seemed like a beacon in the seemingly ominous, pitch-black sea of darkness around her.
Ever since she was young, she always had this instinctive fear of the dark. However, she hadn’t been as fearful of the dark once she became an adult. So, she couldn’t explain her currently racing heartbeat and the evident trembling of her hands that were holding her smartphone before her face. She could only blame it all on her current situation being a reminiscence of the dream of darkness that she had been having recently.
Don’t panic. Don’t think too much. Just turn on the flashlight.
As she mentally consoled herself, she configured through the settings on her phone’s touchscreen to turn on the flashlight app. She sighed in relief when the front of her phone had given out a bright light to illuminate the path ahead of her.
Feeling less nervous, she came to a realization that usually the building’s backup power generator should have started up immediately following the power blackout, which in turn, would activate the emergency lights to prevent the whole building from being immersed in total darkness. However, it had already been well past a few minutes after the power blackout, but her phone’s flashlight was still the only source of illumination around her. Something must have gone wrong with the backup power generator.
Since it was already very late at night, she couldn’t possibly rely on the possibility of someone coming over to repair the power generator or to wait in the office until who-knows-when for the power to be restored on its own. Needless to say, she definitely didn’t want to stay overnight by herself in the office.
With those thoughts in mind, she turned to look towards the direction of the door to the emergency staircase. With her currently being on the seventh floor, it shouldn’t be that difficult for her to descend all the way down to the ground floor through the emergency stairs.
Besides, going down the stairs uses less stamina than climbing up the stairs.
Having pumped herself up with that idea, she headed towards the door that led towards the emergency staircase. With the light from her phone guiding her way, she had made quick progress in descending to the next floor. Soon, she was only four floors away from reaching the ground floor… when her phone had died off suddenly, leaving her in total darkness.
“What?!”
She cried out in panic as she frantically tapped on the touchscreen of her phone with the thumb of her right hand while holding the railing tightly with her other hand. Unfortunately, her phone still remained unresponsive. Thinking back, she hadn’t really taken note of the battery level of her phone today, let alone charging it. Thus, it wouldn’t be surprising for it to run out of power and shut down by itself.
It’s okay. It’s okay.
Even though she was on the verge of a panic attack, she continued to console herself with her eyes closed. She can’t possibly break down crying now and expected someone to come to her rescue. Just like everyone else, there would be unexpected occasions where she will have to stand alone. If she couldn’t even overcome the current situation on her own, how can she expect to be dependable to others?
With trembling hands, she placed her phone into her bag before holding on tightly to the railing of the staircase with both hands. Blinded by the darkness, she slowly lowered her foot to the next step on the stairs, making sure that her foot was standing firmly on the step before proceeding to do the same for her other foot. She then repeated this process again for going down to the next step of the staircase. By doing so, she was making a much slower but safe progress down the staircase.
She wasn’t aware of how much time had passed, but judging from the steps that she had taken after losing her only source of light, she estimated that she was probably around three-and-a-half floors away from reaching the ground floor. If she kept it up at this pace, she should be able to reach the ground floor before morning comes, she thought jokingly to herself.
It was at this moment that she suddenly heard a familiar voice calling out her name from far below the stairs. She thought she might have imagined it out of anxiety since it couldn’t have been such a coincidence for her to hear that voice that she was yearning for the most in her current situation.
“Ga…Gavin?”
Her voice had trembled when she called out nervously towards the darkness. Perhaps, her voice was too soft to be heard for there wasn’t any other response from down below the staircase…Or maybe, she had imagined that voice after all.
Even though she was prepared for that possibility, she still couldn’t stop the feeling of disappointment from welling up within her chest. Feeling the side of her eyes growing slightly damp by the seconds, she lowered her head and raised one of her hands to rub her eyes.
Just when she was about to continue taking her next tentative step down the stairs, she heard that voice again. This time, it was followed by the urgent sound of footsteps approaching her from below the staircase. Just when the sound of footsteps was just around the corner from her, she turned towards the source of the sound and was momentarily blinded by a flash of bright light, which quickly shifted away from her face.
“Are you alright?”
The concern in the familiar voice was evident, much like his expression. Even amidst the dimly-lit surroundings, she could notice the light sheen of sweat on Gavin’s forehead and the sight of his brows knitted together, followed by the faint sound of his panting breaths.
Although she was utterly pleased to know that she was the reason he had run up all those three levels of stairs in a hurry, she couldn’t stop her eyes from brimming with tears, to the point that they started to trickle down the side of her face.
Perhaps, she was just too relieved to see him appearing safe and sound before her after not seeing him for a week … or maybe it was because he had appeared before her when she was most in need of support.
Nevertheless, this vulnerable state of hers was the last thing she ever wanted to show Gavin. Panicking, she quickly lowered her head and rubbed her eyes with both hands as she tried to explain her sudden outburst.
“No, this isn’t…I mean I didn’t intend to…”
While she was fumbling for words and kept rubbing the tears away from her eyes, she felt a strong pair of arms circling around her form in a manner that is not suffocating and yet, not too distant.
“I am sorry,” she heard Gavin’s voice above her head and felt his hand patting her back awkwardly, as if he was uncertain if it was okay to touch her at the moment and also to assure her that he was truly with her, right then and there. “I am sorry that I am late. It must have been scary for you to be alone in the dark.”
For some reasons, hearing his words and feeling his warmth had made her feel both vulnerable and safe at the same time. Even though she thought that if she couldn’t be strong enough to protect him, at least she wanted to be able to stand on her own, so that he could have one less thing to worry about. However, in the end, she still ended up seeking him for reassurance.
She is totally hopeless, isn’t she?
“Don’t be afraid. I am here.”
She couldn’t help but to sniffle at those words of his. When he appeared to save her in a sea of fire during that incident with Josie, he had spoken those same words to her.
Be it then or now, Gavin had always assured her that she will not be alone.
How she wished that the day would come, when she would be strong enough to be the one to return those words to him.
Under the Red Lanterns of Shimabara (MLQC Gavin - NSFW)
Description: Can love bloom between a ronin and an oiran? Find out in this bittersweet, alternate universe (AU) story starring Gavin Bai of MLQC fame and set in Japan’s Bakumatsu period (1853-1867)!
Warnings:NSFW/18+: Explicit/graphic language & mature themes — reader discretion is advised. Potential trigger warnings: graphic violence and mentions of death, trauma, civil war, historical inaccuracies for the sake of drama, mentions of alcohol and unhealthy coping mechanisms, prostitution, deflowering and angst
Word Count: ~4600 words (~24 mins of historical Gavin (Haku) angst with a serving of smut)
Perhaps it had to do with the way he moved: large hands reaching out, tentative and with a surprising gentleness, like one extending a finger as a perch for a delicate butterfly. Slowly, they bridged the gap between you and him, and you could do little but watch as he slid the geta from your left foot, his sword-calloused fingers making quick work of mending the strap that had snapped during your tumble to the ground.
“Can you walk?”
His voice was low, dark like smoke rising from ashen remains to kiss the cool rain. But you heard every word, exposed to the elements though he was while you sat beneath the shelter of the umbrella he had retrieved on your behalf, the swordsman having ran to where it had rolled into a ditch at the side of the road.
You nod without thinking, the meaning of his question lost the moment he wraps his fingers about your wrist to help you to your feet. And though it certainly wouldn’t be the last, it was the first time a man had touched you in such an intimate way.
Heat blossomed on your cheeks. Had you not remembered they were still covered beneath a layer of mud, you surely would have been embarrassed.
Full story up now on my Pa*t*reon page (please see link in pinned post)! Hope you all enjoy it and happy reading!
Under the Red Lanterns of Shimabara (MLQC Gavin - NSFW)
Description: Can love bloom between a ronin and an oiran? Find out in this bittersweet, alternate universe (AU) story starring Gavin Bai of MLQC fame and set in Japan’s Bakumatsu period (1853-1867)!
Warnings:NSFW/18+: Explicit/graphic language & mature themes — reader discretion is advised. Potential trigger warnings: graphic violence and mentions of death, trauma, civil war, historical inaccuracies for the sake of drama, mentions of alcohol and unhealthy coping mechanisms, prostitution, deflowering and angst
Word Count: ~4600 words (~24 mins of historical Gavin (Haku) angst with a serving of smut)
Perhaps it had to do with the way he moved: large hands reaching out, tentative and with a surprising gentleness, like one extending a finger as a perch for a delicate butterfly. Slowly, they bridged the gap between you and him, and you could do little but watch as he slid the geta from your left foot, his sword-calloused fingers making quick work of mending the strap that had snapped during your tumble to the ground.
“Can you walk?”
His voice was low, dark like smoke rising from ashen remains to kiss the cool rain. But you heard every word, exposed to the elements though he was while you sat beneath the shelter of the umbrella he had retrieved on your behalf, the swordsman having ran to where it had rolled into a ditch at the side of the road.
You nod without thinking, the meaning of his question lost the moment he wraps his fingers about your wrist to help you to your feet. And though it certainly wouldn’t be the last, it was the first time a man had touched you in such an intimate way.
Heat blossomed on your cheeks. Had you not remembered they were still covered beneath a layer of mud, you surely would have been embarrassed.
Full story up now on my Pa*t*reon page (please see link in pinned post)! Hope you all enjoy it and happy reading!
He accompanied you grocery shopping, and would never complain, even if he had stayed up all night. He helped reach things too high for you on the shelves and would silently carry the bags. Even though you, at times, bought way too much.
He blushed whenever your hands accidentally brushed in public.
He gave you his full attention when you ranted, often about work. But he wouldn’t always offer advice, especially when he felt out of his depth with the chosen topic. Instead he listened, presenting his silent support, and made you delicious tea. He practiced in order to make it the way you liked. And if it was a really bad day, he added milk.
Slipping in between the sheets, a satisfied sigh escaped my parted lips. I snuggled into the soft, warm fabric of the bed and almost dozed off immediately.
It had been such a long day at work and walking during the rain hadn’t helped either. Taking a long shower unwounded my weary muscles but laying down felt even more wonderful.
I did feel a bit guilty over sleeping at Gavin’s place without him being there, but he gave me a key to his apartment, in case of emergencies, and missing him was an emergency.
He had been gone for four days, and the mission seemed complicated judging by his short replies to my messages. He only did so when he lacked time, and when it happened I always worried.
Even though I understood, and supported him, his silence made me lonely.
Glancing around his dark bedroom, the prolonged shadows made it appear cold and empty. I bit my lip, feeling bereft of him. He could be anywhere…
“I’m fine,” Gavin sleepily murmured, burying his face further into my neck. His breathy laugh sounded husky, tinged with sleep.
I didn’t answer him. Instead my finger continued stroking the livid bruise on his side, tracing as far as I could as it stretched behind his back.
He sighed contently, eyelashes tickling my skin as he closed his eyes and we lapsed into silence. I snuggled closer to him, relishing the warmth of his body spreading through me. The moment was short-lived, however, as I struck upon a sensitive area on his bruise. He winced slightly, his abdominal muscles stiffening under my fingertips. I instantly drew back, apologizing in abundance. “I hurt you, I’m so sorry.”
Gavin was quick to grip my wrist, pulling it back to him. “You didn’t,” he assured, keeping his hold on me as he lifted his head to look into my eyes. “I promise. Please, continue.”
This is not a drill, I repeat, this is not a drill, Play is actually posting something.
Writers block is a b- but I’m so happy to give you this fluff piece with our favorite boy Gavin! How I’ve missed writing for him… Schools been keeping me busy, but I hope to write more in the future!
If I don’t get a chance later, I wish you a safe happy new year and hope it will be the best one yet!
Outside the rain had finally ceased, giving way to sounds of leaves rustling in the gust of wind. A slight chill lingered in the air, sweeping across the wet streets under the dim golden hues of the streetlights.
A hushed serenity settled over the busy town—nary a sound disturbing the silence.
However, Gavin’s mind appeared indifferent to such peace. A thin layer of sweat covered his tensing body as he laid mostly still, save for a twitch here and there, mind replaying what he’d witnessed on his missions, which wasn’t too unusual for Gavin.
Nightmares sometimes kept his restless mind weary and wakeful until early hours, and when the sky did lighten—and the morning chorus began to chirp, Gavin would often lose hope on sleep and go jogging instead, trying to clear his head.
But now there he laid, closing in on 12 am, the fourth night in a row, with the same appalling dream. It wasn’t long before he jolted awake, instantly biting his knuckle to muffle his gasping scream.
Amber eyes darted around in the dark—a knuckle pressed firm against his teeth as he breathed rapidly, reminding himself he shouldn’t scream, how the pain wasn’t real, how smoke didn’t fill his lungs. The heat wasn’t a reality. He struggled to rein in those thoughts, still lost in a dream.
A dream. Nothing else.
It felt like hours before he moderately relaxed and focused again. He felt numb but the taste of dry cotton against his tongue sobered him enough to free his bandaged knuckle from his mouth.
Rubbing his face with his callus hands, Gavin sighed, noise muffled by his fingers. His chest heaved, heart still pounding away when his hand combed through his sweaty hair.
He couldn’t keep doing this. The hopeless pitch of an additional sigh filled the void in the room when his mind lastly registered the bed he was in. Keeping awake proved difficult when lying close to you with arms wrapped tightly around your waist, feeling your fingers lightly grazing his bicep. He wanted to stay until you’d fallen asleep, so you wouldn’t notice him slipping out to sleep on the couch.
Yet the feeling of you and your familiar scent was too calming, eventually lulling him into a drowsiness hard to fight.
Gavin heard the lone sound of a dog barking in the wind, his gaze drifting to a shadow of a bough flickering across the blue wallpaper of the wall opposite the bed.
He fixated on the smell of smoke invading his nostrils, and the familiar ache in his lungs returned. The same dull throb in his skull—the same panic.
Fire had whipped and whirled around, crawling up the walls and ceiling. He could see the billowing smoke, feel the intense heat.
He called your name. What if he couldn’t find you? Gavin’s muscles tensed.
What if -?
He looked down at you, laying on your stomach, arms tucked under your pillow—fast asleep. A drowsy smile tugged at his lips upon watching you limned in moonlight, safe and oblivious. You being this relaxed and peaceful, drooling over the pillowcase, brought joy to his heart and finding you too adorable to resist, he brushed a strand of hair from your face, pushing it gently behind your ear.
Your sudden snoring brought him back to his senses, the delicate sound flooding his mind.
Gavin’s gaze lingering for a second longer before he removed the sweaty duvet from his clammy body and enjoyed the nippy air on his skin. It felt like a fresh change.
Before he could stand, however, a smaller, warmer, hand placed itself atop his. Gavin already knew who it was and hated that he woke you up. He held his breath, scared to break the silence and only turned his head partially, far too embarrassed to meet your face.
He felt your thumb stroking his skin slowly, at times connecting with the rough surface of the bandages and you knew them to be the reason Gavin was awake.
“Did I wake you?” He asked in a whisper almost inaudible.
You hummed thoughtfully, aware of his nightmares and his strive to conceal them.
The knowledge broke your heart, and even if he never addressed it, the pain of seeing him so tired and the constant circles under his eyes twisted you.
Gavin shouldn’t have to carry such a burden alone. Didn’t he realise his pain was yours as well?
Rubbing the last vestiges of sleep from your eyes, you promptly ended such thoughts and got out of bed to walk over to him. Your eyes swept over him, a smile almost curving on your lips at his curious stare, but his beauty under the pale moonlight held you captivated. It wasn’t until his faint snort of amusement that you regained your senses, making you look away with a sheepish glance before bending forward, gently touching his cheek as you knelt between his legs.
A shadow crossed his face when you took his hand, a mild look of confusion flickering in his eyes.
It was easy for you to understand the altering emotions between the two of you. You could sense when something was amiss, even if Gavin downplayed it. Even now, the vulnerability he blinked away was obvious to you.
It was the same brave and decisive Gavin you’d gotten to know, with the sensuality and warmth of a thousand suns… He just lacked his energy.
You kissed his fingertips, one by one, taking your time and lifting his chin when he bowed his head—gazes locking. The obvious dance of emotions swirling across his visage made you remember how repressed and emotionally withdrawn he’d been for the past week. His usual energy attracted such positivity, and almost like a magnet, people were drawn to him—you included.
But recently, he appeared mostly worn, and it stung your heart to think of it.
Gavin’s attentive expression deepened and his breath hitched as you gently unwrapped the bandages on his hand, revealing the patches of burnt skin hiding underneath. It was wounds gifted from a current mission, but served as a reminder of a mission from many moons ago.
Gavin cleared his throat, the wish to remove your attention from his wounds made you hold on to him tighter and you pushed yourself up, pulling his soaked shirt over his head. Gavin wasn’t ashamed of his scars and besides, you’d seen them all before, there just laid a sudden shyness in it now, the nightmare causing the deepest scar of all. You took in all the bruises and bandages covering his toned torso while your fanned fingers slid over the lines and planes of his chest.
Rain started drumming soft and rhythmically against the window as you untied the bandages and bent to brush your lips against his bruises, attempting with a touch, to soothe his unspoken pain. You could feel Gavin’s muscles stiffening under your lips, but he still said nothing, befuddled as he was.
It had been years since the mission Eli referred to as “hell mission” took place, but even so, the closer the date, the more restless Gavin became.
Those memories couldn’t easily be quelled.
Slowly, you felt his heart even out and upon your touch against the last of his marks, you got to your feet and entwined your fingers with his.
His furrowed brow earned him a smile when you gazed down at him, gently tugging on your joined hands.
After a moment’s deliberation, Gavin’s forehead smoothed out, assuming a blank expression as he sat up, tagging along with you as you crossed the threshold to the bathroom and turning around, you leaned forward, a gleam of tenderness lighting up your face as you stood on your tiptoes, pecking him on the cheek and whispered for him to wait for you there.
He hummed in assent, arm falling to his side as you disappeared back inside the bedroom. Gavin remained in the middle of the dark, feeling confused.
He had no idea what you had in mind, but lifting his fingers to study his scars, his breathing accelerated at the thought of your loving gesture.
When you returned, you carefully placed away a few towels and took Gavin’s hand in yours again. Before he could ask, you rid both of any remaining clothes and led him into the shower.
Gavin’s heart pounded harder and harder but he didn’t understand its cause.
He observed you, suddenly feeling nervous—out of place even, and didn’t know what to do or where to stand.
He awkwardly shifted, angling his head to watch the shower wall. He narrowed his focus down to the light of the moon, reflecting on the small drops forming on the glass.
Gavin had showered with you before, but somehow this setting felt more intimate in the dark with nothing but the sound of water running.
It was overwhelming in a way, as the water ran down his body and your warm hand moving across his wet skin.
The affection in your touch was asserted in your limpid eyes once Gavin dared glancing at you—and in the confined space, the emotions seemed to amplify.
You stood close to him and felt tingly by his gaze. It wasn’t only him responding to the electrifying hum amidst you both.
“Wait,” you mumbled, curling your fingers around his, stopping him from reaching for your favourite scented shampoo. “Let me.” With Gavin’s delayed approval, you retrieved the bottle, seeing him study you as you poured the shampoo in your palm.
He didn’t know what to say when you began washing his soaked hair. He somehow wasn’t prepared and blushed at first, feeling even more out of place. Gradually, however, by your calming pace and the water’s soft flow over his body, Gavin unwinded.
He’d never experienced such a sensation before. No one had ever touched him with such a gentle caress as you were now, and never had anyone looked at him with the soft expression you did when you gazed at him now, filled with loving care.
Good—was the only word coming to his mind as you ran the shampoo through his hair, lathering it over his scalp in a slow massage.
It was too good. Gavin didn’t know how to explain it. Something as basic as showering suddenly made him speechless. He hadn’t even noticed when he’d closed his eyes.
Soon you shifted to body wash and carefully sudsed him up, paying close attention as you spread it over his body before washing him clean.
If possible, Gavin was even more attractive after a shower, sitting on the newly made bed, with nothing but a towel draped around his middle and smelling like the scent of green apple.
Even though you were supposed to move, you couldn’t help but watch the glistering droplets across his wet skin.
His sensuality was breathtaking, causing your cheeks to blush and pulse to pound. The mild rain added to the subdued setting, making you feel a bit shy as well when you stepped closer to towel him dry. Your eyes met as you lowered the towel and you gently combed his fringe back before cupping his jaw.
He looked beautiful with his hair pushed back, it made his defined features more pronounced.
You softly stroked his jawbone with a thumb, and unable to resist him, you brushed your lips against his.
Gavin instantly responded and moved to deepen the kiss, but you stepped an inch away, smiling against his lips. “Wait for me here,” you murmured, kissing him briefly before pulling away completely.
You flashed him a smile as you headed into the bathroom, gathering a few tubes from your vanity.
Gavin’s eyebrows drew into a surprised frown when he spotted what you carried. You giggled at his expression as you rounded the bed, motioning for him to shuffle up to the headboard.
You placed your creams on the bedside table and corrected the hold of the towel around your body, before crawling over to straddled his legs with a bottle nestled in your hand. “This and showers always makes me feel better,” you answered Gavin’s unspoken question and proceeded by circling layers of different creams on his skin, moving as slowly as possible.
Gavin sat still, letting you do as you pleased. You giggled and joked around as you took careful care of your skin as well.
Gavin had watched you attentively when realization came to him. He hadn’t noticed when, but your actions had lightened the crushing weight across his chest.
He’d been engrossed in your gestures, not once thinking of his nightmare.
Even now sitting under you, thumbs circling the softness of your skin, he concentrated on nothing but you.
You were his sole focus point, his gravity when he had none, but he was completely falling, lost in the feeling of you. The emotions flooding in Gavin led him to reach out and hug you fondly, tightening his grip.
“I love you,” he mumbled—hot breath fanning across your skin, “so unbelievably much.”
He kissed your collarbone carefully and soft, working his way to press his lips against the sweet taste of yours.
You hummed gently into the kiss, the feelings shared increasing the pressure as Gavin leaned his forehead against yours.
You debated whether to broach his nightmares or not. You wished to tell him he wasn’t alone, but you knew he wouldn’t want to talk about them. Slight disappointment arose with the thought, but you understood it was his way of protecting you.
And you were certain Gavin knew you knew, his kiss was proof of that, but he wouldn’t budge if you brought it up. All you could do was shower him with love and affection, hoping it conveyed how loved and safe he was.
And that part was easy, you thought, your hand moving to touch his cheek as the kiss continued in its slow pace.
There was no demand in it, it wasn’t hectic or needy, not in the slightest. It was a passionate kiss, a kiss that served joy and strengthened your emotional bond.
It was the kind of kiss which gave strength and courage. A single kiss, conveying how much one needed the other.
When you parted, you were breathing just as heavily as Gavin and rested against him with lips in the ghost of a smile. Gavin gazed down on you, his thumb finding its own path across your bottom lip, swollen and red.
Both were happy, albeit exhausted. He could look at you forever but the yawn you tried hiding behind the back of your hand made him realise how late it was.
Gavin stole a swift kiss before slowly pulling you down on the bed. He wrapped you in the duvet after removing your towel and cuddled you to his chest, hugging you near and sighed contently, nose brushing your ear. A smile flitted on your lips and you dearly wished every inch of you could be closer to him as you turned around to face him.
Both of you looked at each other for a moment, the mild sound of drizzle outside filling the room as Gavin brushed a few stray hairs off your forehead, eyes trailing his task before indulging you with a tender kiss.
“I love you too,” you whispered, tilting your head to meet his eyes with a smile.
Trying to survive the Gavin content drought, I’m going through some old dates and realized this…
In the “Gift of Life” karma, MC is wearing two ginkgo bracelets as if it was a reflection of real life, when a bride wears two rings for her wedding… Her diamond engagement ring and her wedding ring.
Obviously there is no mention of it in the date except for us finding out later on that Gavin has indeed bought a gem for that occasion. However by the looks of it, it’s safe to assume that PG wanted to pay an hommage to it with this karma.
The importance of this gesture doesn’t end there… When observed closely, it can be seen that the second and probably the latter bracelet has three ginkgos lined on it.
The number three always had countless meanings throughout the humankind history and is deemed to be the magic number. Among other things, it stands for Beginning, Middle, End… Body, Mind, Soul… Birth, Life, Death… But also
Past, Present and Future
It’s such a Gavin thing to do! To handcraft a ginkgo bracelet for their wedding and to put three ginkgos in line on it deliberately to tell MC without uttering a single word that She is his past, present and future… That she bewitched him in body, mind and soul, That she is his beginning, middle and end. That he was reborn with her, has sworn with his life to be there for her, to care for her, to love her and to accompany her… Till the very end.
And guess what? The very same bracelet makes an appearance on MCs desk in “Momentos”. Coincidence?
