#genshin impact incorrect quotes
Windblume festival
(How Venti’s poetry lessons really went)
Bennett: if I were a gardener I would put our wolfhooks together
Razor: Razor likes :)
Kaeya: if I were a gardener you would be my hoe~
Albedo:…
Ayato: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.
Paimon: It’s so dark… I’m scared.
Bennett: Don’t worry, Paimon. I got this.
Bennett: [stomps foot]
Bennett: [Sketchers light up]
Childe: [backflips over his responsibilities]
Childe:PARKOUR!
Kaeya: My heads hurts.
Diluc: that’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity
Zhongli: Here you go. Nice, hot cup of coffee.
Childe: it’s cold…
Zhongli: Nice cup of coffee.
Childe: it tastes horrible…
Zhongli: Cup of coffee.
Childe: I’m not sure if this is even coffee.
Zhongli:Cup
Diluc: I like my coffee like I like my nights.
Diluc: Endless and impossible to sleep through.
Knights of Favonius: Are you lying?
Venti: That depends on how you define lying.
Knights of Favonius: Well I define it as not telling the truth, how do you define it?
Venti:
Venti: … reclining your body in a horizontal position.
Knights of Favonius: Get out of here.
Venti: That’s fair.
Zhongli, in court: Your honor, I would like to plead guilty as well as to request the death penalty.
Ningguang: This… is a parking ticket..
Diluc:Venti, we need to talk about your professionalism.
Venti: [Standing on a chair] Those are some mighty brave words for a guy who’s standing in lava.
[Something blows up]
Jean: Klee, what did you do?!
Klee: my best.
Kaeya: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I too weak or too strong?
Jean: You’re weak
Lisa: You’re strong
Diluc: you’re stupid
Paimon: You were hurt, what do you remember?
Childe: just the ambulance ride.
Paimon: We didn’t take an ambulance, Lumine drove us.
Childe: but I heard a siren
Lumine: That was Zhongli.
Zhongli: sorry, I was nervous
Childe: I invited you into the woods because I crave the most dangerous game.
Traveler: Knife Monopoly?
Childe:
Childe: I was actually going to hunt you for sport but now I’m interested in whatever the fuck knife Monopoly is.
“The quickest way to a man’s heart is through the fourth and fifth ribs.”
- Probably Sara @ Itto
“Whatever doesn’t kill me better start running.”
- Diluc and Xiao
Aether: Since we are going on this big trip, Zhongli wants us to go over a few safety procedures.
Zhongli: Now, if I get shot, what do you do?
Xiao, solemnly: Avenge you
Childe: *Smiling fondly* You’re so cute
Zhongli:Nonsense
Zhongli: *jumping from leaf to leaf to see which ones are crunchy for purely scientific reasons*
Lumine: Did it hurt?
Xiao:yes
Lumine: Wait you didn’t even let me get to the “when you fell from heaven” part.
Xiao: everything hurts
Paimon: Some people are like slinkies
Lumine:explain…?
Paimon: Not really good for much but makes you crack a smile when you push it down the stairs.
Lumine: Please don’t push Childe down the stairs.
Paimon: You can’t stop me
Kaeya: If you kill someone in a living room, can you still call it a living room?
Lumine: No, go to sleep
Kaeya: who delivers the mailman’s mail?
Lumine: I love you and all but please go to sleep.
Kaeya:
Lumine:
Kaeya: If a kid is bad and wants coal, what does Santa do?
Lumine: If I didn’t love you, I would kill you
Diluc: fuck I want to die
Jean:Language!
Diluc: heckity hecc I crave death
