remember to cry for help without guilt-tripping. i know it feels like you’ve been abandoned and betrayed, but it’s probably not true, and it’s not okay to accuse the people around you of something they might not have done.
“i guess none of you like me” could be better phrased as “i feel unloved right now”
“but nobody cares anyway” could be better phrased as “i feel insignificant and i need reassurance”
rather than assuming others’ feelings, give them time to explain them. you’ll usually get a much better answer.
This is really important for future predictions, too. “You’re eventually going to leave me” is impossible for someone else to disprove without just sticking around forever, but no one wants to stick around when they’re being constantly accused of future abandonment. Giving someone no choice but to either stay with you forever in order to prove you wrong or leave you and prove you right is incredibly emotionally manipulative, whether you mean it to be or not.
“I get scared sometimes because I’m afraid of being alone again” is easier to address and doesn’t leave your partner(s)/friend(s) feeling as though they’re being preemptively accused of something.
yessss this- I see some people in the notes saying the better phrasing is unnatural but it’s like you don’t Have to use those exact words, you just need to make sure you’re not using manipulative language or language that literally traps someone into reassuring you (like constant self deprecating jokes) because none of that is a healthy way to cope with mental illness at all
very very fun fact
we cant help it
i would be very surprised if there’s any neurotypicals in this reblog chain - the only “we” that exists here includes all of us. you can always help it. there’s no such thing as “illness that makes you incapable of not hurting others”. it can be hard to manage your symptoms - i don’t like the harsh tone i adopted for this op anymore - but you can always try, i promise.
spookybeautyreligionknight, ghostniniko, bananasisternikol, penguinnita, and niniiliko are all the same person.
BLOCK THEM IMMEDIATELY.
If you do not block them, I wish you lots of luck. This person has harassed me and a few of my other friends. I don’t want anyone else to suffer through that as well.
They have told me to kill myself and harassed me on a couple of different accounts. I have screenshots, so I will post them here as well.
The first ones (in white) are of a conversation from yesterday.
The ones in pink are from early this morning. These are the last messages I sent to them.
DO NOT TRUST THIS PERSON’S WORDS.
@angel-amongst-guardsand@phonedude-bryan have also been prime targets. I’m unsure of any other harassment they may have done, but I’m certain that they’ve manipulated others. They tried to manipulate my girlfriend as well. So please, do not interact with this person.
This has been a PSA. Thank you and I am sorry if they harass you as well. Maybe we can bring this person down.
Sidekick didn’t sleep all night. When the morning sun broke through his window, the anticipation was painful. Any second, now, Hero would go downstairs to find Villain missing. And then what? Would he be able to claim innocence? Would it even matter? He would be in deep trouble, no matter what he did. He watched the minutes tick by on his alarm clock.
5 am. He got hungry, but didn’t dare to move out of his bed. If he just stayed here, under the blankets, maybe he could delay the inevitable a little longer.
6 am. He tried to remember how kind Hero had been last night. It was just like before Villain arrived. It would be difficult for a moment, but he was sure Hero would calm down eventually.
7 am. He was probably going to have a terrible headache from the serum. Sidekick winced at the poor timing.
When he heard Hero scream his name at 8 am, he was flooded with relief and a nauseating fear. There it was.
He curled up tighter under the blankets, shuddering in fright, as he heard Hero storm up the stairs. The bedroom door hit the wall, and he flinched.
“Where the fuck is he?” Hero yelled, still wearing his pyjama and dressing gown. His curls were unstyled, which only made him look more explosive with anger. Sidekick sat up and pretended to wipe sleep from his eyes, like he’d just been startled awake.
“Wh-Hero? What do you mean, where is who?”
Hero’s dark blue eyes were alight with fury. His mouth was a tight line, and he stomped over to where Sidekick sat.
“Don’t you dare play dumb with me,” he hissed. “I can smell the guilt on you, and this is your last chance before I really get angry. Where is he?”
Sidekick held up his hands, and pressed his back against the bedroom wall.
“Please, Hero, I don’t know what you’re talking about! I haven’t done anything, I swear!”
He had to at least try to insist on his innocence. But just like he feared, that only made Hero angrier.
actually, the language distinction is very important. the word ‘pedophile’ has taken on a very negative connotation and almost become synonymous with ‘child sexual abuser’. MAP is the term that is used in professional prevention spaces that work with folks who have pedophilic disorder. this is done because if MAPs are constantly told that they are doomed to offend, that they are a disgrace to humanity, and that they need to kill themselves, they are less likely to seek help, and therefore more likely to offend.
Damn. I wonder why those words have become synonymous. Wouldn’t it be crazy if there was a correlation between the two?
pedo supporters are truly wild.
I love that you peppered some victim blaming in there, and made it sound like victims of child sexual abuse who vent about their abusers actually go and harass innocent people that happen to struggle with mental health but who haven’t offended. Even if that was the case, putting the responsibility on anyone but the offender is absolutely ridiculous and shouldn’t be an argument used in order to guilt trip people into being supportive.
You shouldn’t be nice to people out of fear that they could harm someone. That kind of rethoric is not only victim blaming, but it’s also framing mentall ill people as dangerous & predatory time ticking bombs that will harm children if made upset, which is super harmful to everyone who struggles with mental health issues.
Lastly, this post was written in a specific context. Back when I wrote this post, pedophiles were allowed on tumblr and the MAP community on tumblr specifically had a very prevalent entitled, predatory & anti-recovery mindset. A lot of CSA survivors had “pedophiles” in their DNI, because of the amount of predator who posted NSFW things in relation to children on the website, which led pedophiles to overstep these boundaries with the excuse that they weren’t “pedophiles” but “MAP” which aren’t even mutually exclusive terms considering “MAP” is an umbrella term. The use of “MAP”, specifically in the tumblr community wasn’t used to destigmatize any mental health issue, but to use semantics to bypass CSA victims’ boundaries and for predators to distance themselves from their actions. Similarly to Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist changing their label to “Gender Critical” once TERF became an obvious dogwhistle.
Removing this years old post out of it’s original context and framing this issue as just people wanting to go tell innocent people to kill themselves is insidious and reeks of bad faith.
“it’s unacceptable for this guy to coerce people into relationships with self-harm threats or excessive flattery, then treat them like shit, and then tell mutual friends that all that happened is his target made him ‘really sad, not to say they’re bad, but they just ask so much from me… so many things that make me sad… I’m just innocently complaining to you about how sad they’re making me…. no don’t hate them, I’m just really sad….. okay, if you say they’re wrong for this then I guess you’re right, it’s your idea after all…….’ over and over and over again as a way of covering up the bizarre and inherently unhealthy relationship dynamics he creates”
-so they get it without seeing it for themselves, so imo it’s just best to make sure the info’s there waiting for them when they start to figure out that it’s not okay just because it happens to other people.
Oh, and that’s how he gets money out of people, too.
“I really want this but I’m ssoooo poor……. Hey, I really want this but after bills eheh… no big deal just complaining to my favorite person in the whole world who I must remind you is at the top of my favorites list on messenger….. man I wish I had this, though…… It’d really help my depression….. hey I want this fake thing on a virtual petsite but I’m sssooooo fake money poor……… oh you won’t volunteer the funds? it’s ok someone else bought it for me, I don’t know why lol”
…Basically yeah, it’s guilt-tripping 101 ☑️
[Not the real G.O. here, just trying to raise awareness with the username he abandoned. Have a great day friends~]
I was looking for something else, but this seems relevant to Ghost-Oakes’s latest suicide threats. He’s always been like this.
It’s winter 2014. We’d been in conflict a lot, I mentioned to Locky that my friend had questioned his cancer story, and she told Tucker (now Ghost) and they both gave me a serious tongue-lashing for even communicating my friend’s thoughts. I’m serious. Lots of it was via text, but as I remember it I made no accusation myself. Those two still went into disciplinarian mode and I felt as if I was being spanked by my parents for a thought crime.
(At this point, I was trying his patience. We were past the honeymoon stage, things weren’t easy and perfect anymore, and I was asking too many questions about the inconsistencies in how he treated me versus how he saidhe treated me, and in his stories. These conversations always ended with me becoming the bad guy, and I really started to believe it. I was in conflict with myreality, which said that I have a right to point out mistreatment, and hisreality, where everything he says is true whether his actions show it or not.
I am a happy and stable person by nature. But I was miserable every day. I frequently cried while talking to him. I started having panic attacks because the world felt unpredictable and I didn’t feel safe or sane. Instead of giving satisfactory answers and being glad we could talk out our concerns, I was told I was being selfish and evil for doubting him. I’d thought I was a very perceptive person up until this point, so even though I tried to trust him, the truest part of mejustcouldn’t stop trusting my gut.)
As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, he used to cut himself as a wooing technique. He would generally prick the existing scabs on his legs and send pictures of the blood. The context here was… much different, clearly. I tried to stay attentive but supportive because again, questioning him was a risky game. I didn’t understand why he was narrating this to me at the time, but it did its job and made me worry. Especially because he would go ten or more minutes without answering.
And eventually, he got what he wanted.
At the end there, there’s a taste of how he uses other people as villains in his stories. I’m still happily friends with the person whose name is blacked out. I’d muchrather have that “exaggerating lying secret-spilling” person in my life than whatever this is.
The “latest” suicide threats/self-harm mentions by Ghost Oakes. (this post also references it, plus as of 4-30-2019, he has *AT LEAST* 75 backlogged commissions on FurAffinity [date format in the screenshot above is day/month/year, so May 9th 2018]
…and he posted them just one day after he made an incredibly nonsensical, rambling Kickstarter update, which was preceded by 5 months of complete silence while he deleted all “clown daki”/“Pennywise” content, jumped fandoms, and had rapidly been producing Bloodborne art for months…This post references it, but I’ve provided screenshots below so you can see just how manipulative, covertly intimidating, and scapegoating it is.
In the same breath he tells us he’s given the money to vendors for the dakis, he also claims to still be working on drawing and/or resizing the designs?? That- quite literally- is impossible. Printing companies/services **need** the dimensions of your designs first in order to give you a quote… And a quick google search can tell you the recommended dimensions for that sort of thing… AND he’s designed dakis before, yep, offered them as ychs in FurAffinity earlier in 2017… So he should know.
No excuse.
He then says he hasn’t found [a vendor/printing company] for the shirts, nor has he completed the other three (of five) sticker designs in the five months that he left his backers in total radio silence… BUT. He’s gotten his art printed on shirts before, ALSO earlier in 2017… So he should know.
No. Fucking. Excuse.
He then wants to claim he made 4– ONLY FOUR, NO MORE NO LESS— posts about the dakis on Tumblr, and blames us for not having seen it by trying dismiss our rightful anger with falsely projected absentmindedness/inattention. But how could we be expected to see those posts when you literally admitted that through your “blog clean out,” what little information there was about the dakis got deleted?? There was- very briefly- a shred of truth to that claim, but of course that’s exactly how scam artists are able to successfully con people. I found 1– ONLY ONE— daki update on his blog and took a screenshot of it before everything was deleted; it was afully-painted gory Genny (one of Ghost’s ocs/versions of Pennywise, and a stretch goal along with the gore option that was unlocked after the original funding goal for the two canon clowns was met…which we had only seen messy sketches of for 3 MONTHS at the time.) The problem: he posted it on Tumblr. NOT Kickstarter.
And no. We NEVER saw ANY sketches of “Grandad” (also one of his ocs/ versions of Pennywise and a stretch goal.) It’s been over 17 months since that stretch goal was reached.
AND HE **STILL** HAS NOTHING NEW TO SHOW. AFTER ALL THIS TIME.
The only “art” we’ve seen is a messy sketch dump page, an insulting half-assed platitude to try repairing his damaged reputation.
Ridiculous. Utterly unprofessional.
Also, the refund link is no longer available because his website is no longer available. The domain expired and he failed to renew it in time, so now no one else can file for a refund.
He’s just not being integrious about this at all, nor is he genuinely trying to notify all of his backers so he can actually make things right. He’s doing the bare fucking minimum and hoping people will forget about it so he doesn’t have to face consequences or admit fault of any kind for his actions (or rather inaction.)
We STILL haven’t received ANY of the stickers yet— even though he posted (on Tumblr only, yet again) about having physicals just one week after the two originally uploaded on Kickstarter 16 months ago…and also has the same designs listed on his RedBubble— TO. THIS. DAY.
Last- but certainly not least- of all, is that final tidbit: how he loves to play the victim and use the same tired excuses reworded over and over again… “Sending me nasty messages and slandering my name does not make me want to work any faster or harder on this. I am only one person doing all of this work…”
Honestly who the fuck cares what you want? Especially at this point?
You accepted $6135 from 75 people across 4 different countries to create clown body pillows, shirts and stickers; that is a business transaction. You are legally bound by law to fulfill that obligation and deliver those products to them, and if you don’t…that is civil fraud.
Draw the shit you said you would, refund the people that have asked for their money back already, and give your backers your email address so they can request one if they couldn’t before you let your website get deleted. Be a fucking adult for once in your life. Do better.
Also Tucker coming out and posting art of Genny again is absolutely a manipulation tactic. He knows you can see him posting clown art again instead of offering updates or coming clean about the Dakis.
He’s toying with you lot because he knows he stole $6,000 and doesn’t have to be held accountable for it. He’s spitting in your face after you gave him your money and he has no remorse for it.
That’s the low, vile kind of person Ghost-Oakes is and don’t ever forget it.
Call your banks, take your money back.
Seriously, don’t let him get away with this. It’ll only embolden him to try the same thing with any other fandoms that he tries to snake his way into if he doesn’t face consequences for his dishonesty/ manipulation/ disrespect.
It should be fairly clear by now that he has no intention of seeing this through to completion or ever delivering the goods he promised, just look at the time line here:
Only 3 real updates were made within the last 6 weeks of the year, the last of them being posted around the initially promised delivery date: Christmas of 2017. (Yes I am counting both sticker posts as one bc they should’ve just been posted on the same day since they reveal no new information about the status of the other goods individually)
Then the silent treatment FOR 5 MONTHS. We were given only 3 new updates with nothing but hollow words, sloppy sketches, and still no tangible progress that our goods are any closer to being delivered than they were before. Even now, as of November 15th, 2018, we have YET to receive any new updates since the last one 4 MONTHS AGO.
Here’s the thing though, he does not even consider just going ahead with what he’s got. He keeps making excuses for his lack of progress on (or physical proof of) the campaign’s promised merchandise. He’s refusing to admit fault or failure, and continues to string people along with vague promises, wishywashy plans, etc. NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR EXCUSES. ITS BEEN AN ENTIRE YEAR. THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN SAY TO JUSTIFY THE LACK OF BASIC COMMUNICATION WITH YOUR BACKERS.
You’re telling me he can post this finished gore Genny daki on tumblr, BUT NOT ON KICKSTARTER?? WHERE, NEED I REMIND YOU, 75 PEOPLE WHO HAD GIVEN YOU OVER $6000 WERE WAITING ALMOST 2 MONTHS FOR A NEW UPDATE AT THAT POINT???
But let’s not look at the past, let’s look to the future~! /s Here are a few ideas, given generously & freely, on how to BEGIN righting this:
How about sending out the stickers first while diligently working on the dakis with regular/ consistent updates?? Making a poll where we give your our t-shirt sizes & showing us the new designs so that a vendor can be contacted to print them off?? Sending out an email asking for addresses to send out those hand-written thank you notes??? Or, AND I MUST STRESS THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT OPTION NOT TO FORGET,OFFERREFUNDS TO THE PEOPLE THAT DONT WANT ANY OF THIS SHIT ANYMORE???
DON’T PRETEND TO BE UNSURE OF WHETHER OR NOT YOUR BACKERS WANT THESE DAKIS OR YOUR OCS ANYMORE UNLESS YOU ASK THEM AND GET A *REAL* ANSWER. BUT HE WON’T,BECAUSE HE KNOWS PEOPLE WILL ASK FOR REFUNDS AND HE CANT GIVE THEM THAT. NOT ONLY BECAUSE THAT WOULD DAMAGEHIS FRAIL EGO AND EXCESSIVE NEED FOR ATTENTION AND ADMIRATION,BUT BECAUSE HE DOESN’T HAVE THE MONEY ANYMORE.
He tries to dismiss it as people being too nosy/ extroverted/ insensitive for rightly questioning his impulsive, irresponsible, and extravagant purchases. Excusing himself of not answering (orin reality just deleting) the anons/asks he’d gotten by blaming differing personalities or mental illness is a form of denial called Minimization, a manipulative technique often coupled with Rationalization(read more hereandhere.)
Ridiculous.
Soooooo, a lot has happened since the last additions were made on the original post and unfortunately nothing’s improved or progressed much…if at all tbfh.
Most of the links above don’t work/direct you to the proper source because Ghost Oakes deleted his tumblr around Christmas of 2018 (approximately.) I probably have screenshots for the majority of them though and will work on uploading them in a separate post(s). The current owner(s?) of the url are using it to reblog warnings and testimonials about Ghost Oakes/TwistedTeeth’s history of abuse, manipulation, scams, shady business practices, etc.
He finally set up refund forms for the Kickstarterspecifically and provided a link to his website to fill them out in an update on 12-6-2018, along with a poll that was ultimately redundant and pointless. HOWEVER. As of 3-12-2019, his website displays an ‘404 Error’ message because the domain wasn’t renewed/expired…now no one else can fill out or submit any more refund forms. Then on 3-22-2019, Ghost Oakes mentioned in a FurAffinity journal that he no longer has a PayPal because it’s a “temptation” he doesn’t need…
Seems pretty convenient to no longer have a PayPal account where people can file a claim/open up a dispute or a website where more clients just add to the list of money he owes them for unfulfilled/forgotten commissions or a Kickstarter scam that’s almost 16 months past due…
He’s also now claiming to have been “professionally/officially diagnosed with severe adhd” (just like he claimed to have severe bpd, screenshot below)…which he says apparently “explains a lot” with his past “mistakes and fumbles”…and that he’ll be taking meds for too…along with some other unspecified medications he claimed to be taking for some reason back in a February FurAffinity journal…
It was probably just another excuse (like “not being happy with [his] art style currently…”) to explain away his lack of progress and communication with other people & spend time drawing stuff for personal projects of his to “work off the rust,” since he hasn’t really made any headway on his commission queue or the dakis yet.
Oh yeah. No new art has been posted in the Kickstarter yet he’s sharing art WIPs and sob stories/pity parties/meltdowns fairly regularly on Twitter (probably because there’s less info on that site warning people about him) and posting vague journals as well as personal art to FA (commenting has been disabled, likely due to people calling him out on his neglected Kickstarter.)As of 3-27-19, there’s only been 1 new completed commission- uploaded over 2 weeks ago to FurAffinity- by Ghost Oakes within the past 3 months.ADDITIONALLY. It’s been about 3 & ½ months since he’s logged onto or updated his Kickstarter.
Between his move at the beginning of the year to go live with Strawbebby/Rockdownu/Locky and now having a job that occupies more of his time…ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE STATED ABOVE…shouldn’t he update his Kickstarter backers already and let them know his current situation/schedule? (in-so-far-as how it will affect the rate at which they’ll be getting refunded or their products delivered, no oversharing or guilt-tripping anymore.) Wouldn’t it be a good idea to plan out a timeline/date by which he’ll have everyone either refunded or delivered their promised merchandise, if only just to sate the more vocal dissenters for a time?
Realistically, that should’ve been addressed and figured out wayyy before trying to launch the clown dakimakura campaign…along with research on which vendors have the best rates for wholesale printing and shipping body pillows, shirts, stickers, etc.
ANYWAYS.We all know Ghost Oakes *has* actually printed shirts before and also offered daki commissions on FurAffinity, so he should know the proper dimensions to use as well as a business that he could return to for custom shirt printing…but instead he lied to us about the status of the project, even after telling us half a year ago that he already had all his wholesale places lined up. And when people noticed he’d jumped fandoms to bloodborne and was creating a lot of free content for them during that period of inactivity on Kickstarter— as well as drawing his & his friends’ ocs— he offered this contradictory & easily falsifiable bullshit in an update:“Money has been allocated to the respectful vendors (except shirts, haven’t found anything both affordable AND do what I want so I may have to change the design somewhat.”/ “A few designs are being reworked in order to fill out the pillow dimensions better…”
Tucker became passive aggressive & markedly manipulative after that, threatening to punish us with ‘the silent treatment’ (which he would continue to do for months- and still does to this day.)“Sending me nasty messages and slandering my name does not make me want to work harder or faster on this.”/“Repeatedly calling me names and generally being abusive to me in my ask box is not going to get them done any faster.”/“Harass me further and see how fast it gets done now.”/“Dakis are still on hiatus in production…being nasty to me in anons won’t change that. Just makes me feel less inclined to work on it.”/“Threating me with both violence and litigation isn’t really going to make me move faster…”/“The more you guys act like assholes the less I want to do anything.”
It’s been almost a full year of dealing with this fuckery. And if it isn’t any othose excuses, it’s either gaslighting(“Really, if I wanted to scam y’all I would have. I’m just 1 guy with 500 things to do.”)playing the victim of circumstances(“I’m drafting a large update (with visuals…) if I can find the time to get it looking how I want…”/ “I had some [sketches] complete before, but I’m just not happy with them.”/ “Making a thing for the daki/Kickstarter stuff…people will still complain…”/ “I do not like how my art looks currently…but I’m not sure how to change that.”/ “Still not happy with my art lately…”) minimization(“this amateur mistake on my part”/ “ill prepared and too ambitious”/ “made a refund link n stuff and proper update for that thing.” [ all referring to the clown dakimakura Kickstarter.] ) ALL OF THE ABOVE, or any of the several other psychological manipulation tactics he’s used multiple times before.
Here’s the thing….. I don’t want to have a sour/bitter taste in my mouth whenever I hear or see the word “Kickstarter.” I don’t want to be afraid of being scammed whenever I consider commissioning someone…
I just want to be free of this festering wound and the rustyfork blade that inflicted it as it slowly sinks, twists and digs deeper with every personal piece he posts, every extended stint in silence, every excuse- old or new- and faux update he offers us…
I swear I’ve been ranting and raging so long about this it feels like I’m just screaming into the void, that i feel like a broken record/ talking in circles/ etc. I know he won’t change…
And I know I shouldn’t be optimistic that eventually, maybe,he’ll just get so tired of all the stress & negativity it’s brought him and refund all of us as fast as possible… But it seems like it’s exactly that kindheartednesss, that “naivety” and hope/faith he relies on, thrives on.
How else do you think he’s been able to get away with this for as long as he has?
Some of the most up to date info out there on Tucker currently, seems like he still hasn’t learned anything yet though…
[Not the real G.O. here, no need to panic. Just trying to spread awareness/ warn people about his past history & current behavior of manipulation/ sordid business practices/ general disrespect, dishonesty and immaturity. Stay safe out there everyone!]
