#verbal abuse
Her roommates enjoy watching her clean even more since they made her the ears and started calling her Dobby. They are making messes all over the house just to see her scrub away, ears flapping. “You’ll never be a free elf, Dobby!” they shout and giggle. She loves seeing them so happy.
If her ears don’t flap hard enough, she gets spanked and whipped for not working hard enough to make them. Pretty soon she’ll lose all clothing privileges like a real house elf. That way they can laugh at her tits shaking too. She can’t wait.
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Having crazy wild sex in the middle of the ocean is great. I definitely recommend everyone tries it at least once.
Get those pouty lips on my pussy, you dumb whore.
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Will I be a bad person if I cut off communication with my family and start a new life?
“You’re scum, a vile waste of life unworthy of being in my presence. Why couldn’t all boys have been eliminated at birth?“
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“You’re just too soft, like soy. Nobody likes you because you’re just a gross, squishy, tasteless piece of garbage.”
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Hey y’all did you know that just because you had a shitty childhood doesn’t mean you have to guilt trip and project your trauma and insecurities on other people? So when someone posts a funny video with their dad or talks about a nice gift their mother gave to them maybe instead of saying “wow imagine having parents that love you” or “haha my mom gave me nothing for Christmas after I turned 8” you can scroll past the video without being bitter and miserable.
People shouldn’t be your enemy for just having nice things. If they’re being spoiled, ungrateful brats that’s far different but someone being happy about something nice that happened within their family or a gift/experience they got? Yea, no one needs to know that you weren’t fortunate enough for that. Read the room. It’s not always about you and your trauma. And before you come at me, my life of far from perfect. I’m one of you.
(You can visit my instagram page @jungleflowerenergy to view the closed captioned version of this poem)
TOXIC MASCULINITY - Please repost!
I was NOT expecting this to happen. Please tag someone who would appreciate this
I’d written Firefly, my first poem, only because someone had asked me to. I didn’t consider myself a poet and wrote nothing again until a year later (2013) when @jeffperera invited me to perform something for a conference he created around ending toxic masculinity. I wrote this piece for it and this was the first time I performed it. I was battling stage fright the entire time.
Waiting for my turn to perform, I was shaking. My friends gathered lovingly around me and prayed. Along with the stage fright I was also terrified that I would forget my words which is why you’ll see me clutching my notebook for dear life. You’ll also later see me shaking my head in disbelief because this outcome was the last thing I was expecting. My fear of public speaking dissipated after this. During a phase in my life where I spent a lot of energy dodging cameras, to have this major turning point caught on film (by Paul) was such a blessing. Grateful to see intelligent souls like @patrickcwalters@seedandcerassee@letssavematthew@rene_riiise@joanneswritingsand@mstoddart68 going off in the audience.
They say fear is the opposite of love, and it seems like the more fears I face, the more I find myself surrounded by a loving community. I had major stage fright and I never claimed the title ‘poet’, but here I stand as living proof that our throat chakras are strengthened when we speak our truth.
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Nov 16 in Toronto. Link in bio #jungleflowerdragonheart
Planning the First @ReclaimYourVoice Event || For our first event, I decided to invite three speakers to share their stories. I planned to share my own story as well because I couldn’t ask anyone to do anything that I myself was unwilling to do. I approached three incredible women I knew who had each experienced some form of abuse. Although I strongly believed in this idea, my nerves began to kick in when it came time to ask if they’d be willing to share their stories publicly. I was worried that my proposition might come across as intrusive or insensitive, but all three of them caught me off guard by immediately agreeing to share their stories.
@cher.bear8 was one of the women I invited to speak. I knew her through my photography work and had photographed her many times over the course of 10 years. Her excitement about speaking at this event surprised me completely. When I asked her why she seemed so eager to share something so deeply personal with a room full of people, she said that the only opportunity she’d ever had to share her story was within the cold and unfeeling confines of a courtroom while a defense attorney picked apart every detail of her disclosure and did everything he could to make her doubt herself. At our event she would have the opportunity to share her story―her truth―in a room full of supportive people without being interrupted, questioned or contested. I had a lack of knowledge and experience in this field, but Cher’s enthusiastic response to this opportunity strengthened my confidence in this idea, and started to give me a sense of how complex and multifaceted trauma and healing was.
I recalled a quote from Mother Teresa that said, “I will never attend an anti-war rally; if you have a peace rally, invite me.” I’d been learning more and more about the importance of choosing words that focus on the outcome one hoped to achieve instead of on what one did not want, so I made the decision that this event was to be held not in the name of the war against abuse, but in the name of peace and healing for all.
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On average, every 6 days in Canada a woman is murdered by her intimate partner.
My ending is not so much a happy one as it is a lucky one. And that’s why I do what I do @reclaimyourvoice.
Yesterday during my meditation practice, in tearful gratitude I thanked the gods and the universe for this freedom, for this second chance at life, for these opportunities to become a better person, to love more, to give more, to grow more and for the glorious blessing of being able to heal underneath these palm trees. I thanked them for all the people they’ve sent to help me along my journey (you all and so many more), and said I will endure any storm they throw my way, but to just please keep sending these beautiful souls to help light the path.
Although in my recent post I shared how I escaped, my story is far from over. As most people who’ve been abused will tell you, the tough times don’t necessarily end just because we’ve been physically removed from the abuse.
So in the coming posts I will be speaking on what the aftermath of the abuse has looked like for me. May this and all the posts I have shared thus far be of benefit to those who need them most.
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If you’re living in an abusive home & aren’t able to leave or aren’t ready yet, it’s perfectly okay & there is nothing wrong with you for staying put & waiting it out.
It is often safer to stay put, gather your resources & keep a roof over your head until you are ready to go.
It does NOT make you ‘weak’ or 'lazy’ or 'not trying hard enough.’
It’s okay to process your situation at your own pace.
The stars are so nice.
The stars doesn’t call me an waste of existence.
Interlude part 2: Hero Finds Out
CWs:child abuse (whumpee is 16), beating, guilt tripping, emotional whump, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, blood, injuries, gaslighting.
Tagging:@whumpsday@pumpkin-spice-whump-latte@octopus-reactivated@fanastyfinder@whumpy-arts-and-crafts@arsonfrogger@burtlederp@harri-00
Sidekick didn’t sleep all night. When the morning sun broke through his window, the anticipation was painful. Any second, now, Hero would go downstairs to find Villain missing. And then what? Would he be able to claim innocence? Would it even matter? He would be in deep trouble, no matter what he did. He watched the minutes tick by on his alarm clock.
5 am.
He got hungry, but didn’t dare to move out of his bed. If he just stayed here, under the blankets, maybe he could delay the inevitable a little longer.6 am.
He tried to remember how kind Hero had been last night. It was just like before Villain arrived. It would be difficult for a moment, but he was sure Hero would calm down eventually.7 am.
He was probably going to have a terrible headache from the serum. Sidekick winced at the poor timing.When he heard Hero scream his name at 8 am, he was flooded with relief and a nauseating fear. There it was.
He curled up tighter under the blankets, shuddering in fright, as he heard Hero storm up the stairs. The bedroom door hit the wall, and he flinched.
“Where the fuck is he?” Hero yelled, still wearing his pyjama and dressing gown. His curls were unstyled, which only made him look more explosive with anger. Sidekick sat up and pretended to wipe sleep from his eyes, like he’d just been startled awake.
“Wh-Hero? What do you mean, where is who?”
Hero’s dark blue eyes were alight with fury. His mouth was a tight line, and he stomped over to where Sidekick sat.
“Don’t you dare play dumb with me,” he hissed. “I can smell the guilt on you, and this is your last chance before I really get angry. Where is he?”
Sidekick held up his hands, and pressed his back against the bedroom wall.
“Please, Hero, I don’t know what you’re talking about! I haven’t done anything, I swear!”
He had to at least try to insist on his innocence. But just like he feared, that only made Hero angrier.
——————-
to anyone suffering from psychological, and/or emotional abuse, and to anyone who has escaped that abuse and is now dealing with the effects:
it can be easy to downplay your experiences. however, mental and emotional health is no less important than physical health, and abuse that targets your mind and heart should be taken just as seriously as any other abuse. you are worth more than your abuser(s) made you out to be! you deserve love, positive attention, safety, and gentleness.
fellow survivors, you have all our love.
Whump prompts
TW/CW : torture, abuse, whump, kidnapping, threats of violence, death threats, manipulation, graphic to implied torture/harm, implied self harm
1. “And what ? You’ll hurt me ? Go ahead, you’re already weak - I’ll just have to hurt you back”
2. “Is that a promise ? Oh wait, you realize I have the power here to do whatever I want to you”
3. “I’d choose your words carefully, one slip up and I could just snap that little neck of yours, would be a shame for you to go so soon”
4. “You’ll soon understand that messing with me has consequences”
5. “What is it that you want ? It seems a death wish, otherwise you’d watch your tongue”
6. “What makes you think you’re somehow different than other victims before you ? You’re nothing”
7. “You are just another target, and boy I’m having some fun with you”
8. “You may not enjoy this, but I am”
9. “Keep screaming - keep squirming, keep doing what you’re doing and you’ll only tire yourself out”
10. “You’re not allowed to have the blissful taint of death, I won’t let you - we only just started”
11. “You gonna back up your words with actions or are you just another coward with a big moth and no filter ?”
12. “Funny how you think you have a fighting chance, you’ll lose your hands before you’re able to even touch me”
13. “we could make some,, arrangements if you obey me - for now however, you must learn”
14. “How hot will it be seeing you in your own blood ? We’ll just have to find out”
- “N-no..no please —“
- “Bold of you to assume you had a say”
15. “Trying to stay alive is a lot harder with me, isn’t it ? More fun for me seeing you struggle and collapsing”
16. “You say anything else and I’m carving my initial on your tongue”
17. “Learn to keep your mouth shut and your jaw won’t be ripped clean off”
18. “I’d hate to hurt such a pretty face”
- “Then why do it ?”
- “Never said I’d feel bad”
19. “Aren’t you clever ? But not clever enough, move anywhere and I’ll brand your thigh”
20. “Burning you is so satisfying, your screams with the sound of sizzling is so, amazing - now you’ll learn not to question me, won’t you ?”
21. “Watch where you stare, you may get it, or you may get it taken off your body”
22. “If only I liked you enough to make you mine”
23. “You’re a bold little [guy/girl/person], [y/n], but not bold enough it seems”
24. “You don’t faze me, but this knife will certainly go into something if you keep that shit up”
25. “What are you thinking ? Escaping ? Don’t make me cut off your/break your legs”
26. “If I have to tie you up and put you somewhere far away, I fucking will - don’t test me”
27. “What is it like — knowing you could die at any moment ?”
28. “Are you sure to be so cocky ? No one is coming to save you, only you, me and my little toys, the scalpel will be first if you move again”
29. “Who has control here ? Me, and whose blindfolded and tied up ? The one whose gonna become my little punching bag”
30. “And who do you think you are ? You think you have any ounce of power, respect or even rights down here ? You’re with me, [y/n], you should know better”
31. “I could break your neck so easy, your body is so fragile”
32. “You look so different with bruises and cuts along your soft skin…I could get used to this”
33. “You’re begging for mercy ? You don’t realize how quick I’ll be to burning you alive”
34. “Go ahead, underestimate me, but remember who keeps you, who owns you, at the end of the day”
35. “What ? Bargaining ? You can’t trade me anything in the world to let you go, you look so good when you cry in pain”
36. “Keep still and maybe I won’t slit a vein, maybe”
37. “You’re begging for death ? I said I wouldn’t let you go, and I intend on keeping my word”
38. “If only you had someone who pitied you, someone who cared about you - maybe you’d be free by now if someone did”
39. “Well, it seems that you’ve been rejecting food as of late - I don’t intend on letting you starve yourself to death, I’ll force feed you if I fucking have to”
40. “What makes you think you even deserve life ?”
41. “What makes you think you deserve freedom ?”
42. “Everyone hates you”
43. “Everyone thinks you’re dead, no one is looking for you”
44. “No point in trying to beg, I never listened before - what makes you think I’ll care for your safety now ?”
45. “Such lovely scars, all made by me, on a canvas like you”
46. “So many scars, how about we reopen them ?”
Beautiful creatures cannot be confined. Her wings will grow, she’ll find the sky.
Music: Choir
Let her control your pitiful little orgasm. Be a good little bitch and watch naked on your hands and knees that’s where you belong in font of a dominant woman
“he raises his voice
higher than he would his hands
and for that I guess
I should be
grateful”
- d.c.
Today I had a flashback because one of my friends broke her arm. I stood there crying because I remembered how I broke my arm. How I was in pain for 5 days, how I couldn’t sleep because I was in so much pain, because my mom wouldn’t believe me that I broke my arm. She said that I just made it all up. I had to beg her that she would take me to the doctor. When she finally said yes and she realized I really broke my arm she just said I should stop being a baby.
My mom used to send me to bed without dinner.
I remember crying in bed, because I was so hungry.
I couldn’t even fall asleep, because the hunger made it impossible.
When my mom was finally sleeping, I went to the kitchen to look for food.
I only found cheese rind on the table.
I was too scared to open the fridge, because I didn’t want to wake her up.
So I just ate the cheese rind.
I, a 8 year old child, had to eat fucking cheese rind…
I’m standing in front of a mirror and look at myself.
I try so hard to find just one tiny thing I love about me. But I just can’t. All I can think of is ‘ugly’, 'fat’, 'unlovable’ and 'disgusting’.
And it’s so hard for me to live like that. I feel ashamed when people look at me because I just feel so ugly.
I have to thank my mother for that. Because I grew up with her saying that I’m 'ugly’, 'unlovable’, 'fat’, 'disgusting’, 'a shame to her’ etc.
For real, please never ever think that emotional abuse isn’t real abuse. It is. It’s so fucking real.
It causes so much damage.
It feels weird to know that there are people who aren’t abused by their parents.
My mom gets angry over nothing and you can grow up without getting slapped or being called names.
It’s just so surreal for me.
Me:
I‘m feeling confident today.
Me literally 1 minute later:
don’t open your fucking mouth, they will hate everything you say, they hate you already!
This may sound weird, but am I the only one who, sometimes, doesn’t want to get better?
Sometimes i think my mental illness makes me the way I am, almost like an personality of me and if I’m getting better, I feel like losing a part of me.
I don’t know, I can’t really describe it.
I just read that people who were abused, apologize a lot.
And I do that all the time.
I bumped into someone at work and it wasn’t a big deal, but I couldn’t stop apologizing.
I am just so afraid that they’ll get mad at me or that they’ll leave me, so I keep apologizing over and over again.
I do this every single time and now I know why.
It’s funny how some people think that fathers are the ones who are always abusive. They tell me that a mother can’t be a abusive.
They’re wrong.
My mom is abusive and let me tell you, how many times I was afraid to come home from school, because I knew, as soon as I came through the door, she would beat the shit out of me.
Or the times she called me names, spit on me and said I’m worthless.
So, yes. Mothers can be abusive.
I hate that a lot of people say verbal abuse isn’t abuse.
They just say „oh don’t be dramatic, that’s not real abuse.“.
But it fucking is!!
Some people need to understand that there are different types of abuse.
