#himym reference

I just got back from going to wineries in Sonoma with The Teacher and Pine. They kept giving me their extra wine because I am neither responsible nor was DDing.

So much fun!

Also, I’m making one of the best choices I’ve made in a while and I’m leaving a day early and gonna visit The Super Sadist and I’m absurdly excited! He’s so fucked up and adorable and clever and creative and sexy and I’m in desperate need of a good beating and fucking. Also I’m totes still tipsy.

Lest you been concerned that, after a date with Boy Genius where he was super nice to me and then a date with sub-leaning switch Puppy, I might be getting silly ideas about being equal to men or think that what I want matters, I thought I’d share the story of the orgasm after I had my first date with Puppy.

Due to…partner issues, Marxman and I hadn’t been playing for a little while. We’ve still been talking, though, and on Friday night after my date with Puppy, we started Skyping. I told him about my night and cleaned up my living room. When I finished cleaning, we started just talking. I was being obnoxious/annoying in a way that, had we been playing, I would have described as “bratty.” Normally I don’t do that, since I like being a good girl and don’t want punishments, but I figured there wasn’t anything he could do, so I kept going, talking negatively about men, even though they’re clearly my superiors, being stubborn with him, disagreeing in silly ways, teasing him about me being obedient, etc.

At one point, I was emptying my suitcase from when I visited my owner, and I took out a paddle. I think I was teasing hitting myself with it, and he told me, with a bit of that voice, to hit myself on the ass with it. I balked and danced around for a bit, but I’d wanted to do it in the first place (hence the showing it to him), so I whacked myself a few times. It had seemed a bit like playing, but I wasn’t going to tell him what he could and couldn’t do, especially since he’d been able to do more and more things after conversations with his partner.

I went into the bathroom and we started talking about the punishment The Fascist had threatened, which was to lick the inside of the toilet while masturbating. I commented that it was super gross and I definitely didn’t want to do it. Marxman said he’d like to see it if I did, and I jokingly offered to lick the outside for him, since I had no intention of getting punished. He took me up on it, and I licked the outside of my toilet, in a headspace of being amused, not submissive. Then he told me to lick the seat. I laughed and said, “Dude. You can’t play and I’m not in subspace.” “Do you want to be in subspace?,” he asked. My response was immediate, “Always.”

His voice changed and there was a noticeable shift in the dynamic between us. “Lick the seat all the way around three times,” he commanded. I whimpered, but complied. Once, twice, three times I ran my tongue around the toilet seat. When I was done, I sat back on my heels and looked at him, feeling fuzzy and subby, my cunt hot. I waited to see what he would say next. He looked at me and said calmly, “In case you couldn’t tell, [my partner] texted.”

I shivered in a combination of arousal and nervousness. I’m very happy to have him back and able to play. He knows how to treat me, we have pretty compatible kinks, and he’s got an awesome voice and enjoys using it to help me get off. That night, despite my bratty behavior, he was kind enough to use it that way.

I spread my legs and moved the camera so he could see me holding the vibe on my clit. He started to talk to me about an ongoing shared fantasy in which he holds me down and fucks my cunt, cumming in me while I struggle and beg him not to. I told him, a bit impishly, “I wouldn’t let you cum in me.” That just made him laugh. He’s decided he wants to do it, and nothing I say or do is going to stop him, if he gets the chance. He commented about how much bigger he is than I am, about twice my size. It would be nothing for him to hold me down and do whatever he wanted to me.

He pointed out how it would be especially great to cum in me against my will because I’m not on birth control, so I’d actually be risking pregnancy.  He described filling my cunt with cum and sending me out to get EC with it dripping down my leg. He talked about taking it away from me. He said he’d cum in me many times before he’d let me use it. If he let me use it.

I begged him not to cum in me, offered him anything he wanted, tieed to reason with him. None of it changed the inevitable, although he did enjoy my pathetic attempts and whimpers. Eventually, he told me, “Tell me you want it.” I shuddered and moaned out, “Please cum in me. I want you to cum in my cunt. Fill me. I need to feel you cum inside me. I want to feel it dripping down my leg. I want you to be the first person to cum in me.” He continued talking about overpowering me and using my hole and just ignoring everything I want just for his own pleasure.

A few moments later, I had an explosive, mindblowing orgasm, thinking about him forcing me to get off at the same time he was emptying himself into me, looking into his eyes, listening to him mock me for cumming as I’m being violated like that. This orgasm was fucking ridiculous. Besides feeling like I’d gone out and being unable to move, I almost pulled a Ted Mosby on this guy I’ve known for a few weeks, no joke. Fucking neurotransmitters. It was goddamn fantastic.

What a pathetic, stupid, horny little bitch I am to have that reaction to thinking about having my unprotected cunt raped and risking being impregnated against my will, to begging to have that happen, to the idea of being taunted as it happened. The worst part is, I really don’t want it. That’s the point. I want him to know what I want and decide to ignore it because it just doesn’t matter to him.

So, Friday was rough (thank you for the kind messages, by the way. They really helped, and I’m going to respond wh N I get a chance to sit down with my laptop), but today should be lots of fun!

Tonight is Reaction Junkie’s birthday dinner, which might be a little difficult because of who is supposed to be there, but it also should be fun because i like pretty much everyone who will be there, and because it’s at a Brazilian steakhouse type place, so I’m getting to go I one of my favorite vegan places beforehand with other veg*ns kinksters!

But before that, I have a date(?) with someone I met off okcupid. I call him Tamora Pierce Guy because he messaged me because of our shared love for Tamora Pierce. I say in my profile that she’s be of my favorite authors, and that if someone likes her, they should send me a message because we’re almost certainly going to get along.

I met him in person for the first time a couple weeks, and it was great! He’s easy to talk to, and we seem to have a fair amount in common. He has an interesting job that means he k own a lot about ears going on in international news. Plus, I dig his style. I don’t know if he’s kinky or not, although I do know he isn’t anti-kink, and that he is ethically nonmonogamous.

I’m super excited about hanging out with today! We’re going to pick up delicious vegan baked goods and then go back to his place to eat a sandwich (a la HIMYM). We’re going to eat the baked goods, and cuddle, and talk, and I don’t know what else. I’m a bit nervous because I think he’s super cool and I don’t want to mess up, but hey, I’m also super cool, too!

I’m on the train on the way in to the city. 20 minutes to delicious vegan food!