Okay but the first set of gifs is not a joke like that’s literally how it goes.
One of the girls at work won’t get in the guy’s car unless he agrees to let her take photos of him and his license plate to text to her mother. If he gets mad or makes a fuss she cancels the date and goes back inside.
Reblogging for that
I’ve had someone take pics of me and my license plate on a first date before & I was okay with it. I’ve also had a friend allow me to view the tracking on her phone when she went to meet up with a guy the first time. This isn’t a joke at all & women have good reason to worry.
i have only ever met 2 people online, and made sure that we met up somewhere that was 1)public 2)close to my home.
After, I walked to the dollar store that was a couple shops down until I knew they were gone, before walking home.
Louis C.K. kind of nailed it. Men worry that their date won’t measure up to their aesthetic preferences. Women worry that they’re going wind up dead.
The disparity is RIDICULOUS, and the fact that dudes get offended when women try to protect themselves is hard proof that way too many guys Do Not Understand how dangerous it is to be a woman. (Not to mention it’s fucking insulting. “How dare you not trust your life and safety to a complete stranger whose intentions you have no way of knowing”?)
Lookin’ at the notes on this post following my earlier reblog and just going….
Wow. WOW. Look at all these sheltered people and their internalized misogyny.
The point isn’t, “NOT ALL MEN ARE OUT TO GET YOU.”
The point is, “WE HAVE NO WAY OF KNOWING A NICE GUY FROM A SERIAL KILLER.”
It’s not like they fucking wear nametags, okay? Moreover, the most awful people with the worst intentions often put on the nicest face or deliberately make themselves seem harmless and likeable, to lull potential victims into a false sense of security. (Read up on Ted Bundy sometime. It’s horrifying shit. Or read any thread on the “Let’s Not Meet” subreddit.)
In order to protect ourselves, we are forced to assume the worst of every man we meet, because statistically speaking, the biggest danger to women…IS MEN. Saying “not all men are out to get you, you’re just being paranoid” is like saying “not every car you ride in is going to crash, so buckling your seatbealt is stupid.”
When dealing with an unknown situation, in the absence of absolute proof of safety, exercising a little extra caution can be the difference between life and death. Shaming women for being what you may view as overly cautious is every bit as horrid as blaming them if something goes wrong later on.
And refusing to go to a secluded location with a complete stranger without letting someone know where you’re going, who you’re with, and how to find you is just common street sense, whether you’re on a date or just going out for business or social purposes.
If your life has been so sheltered (or your coping skills so incredible) that you see no need to distrust strangers or worry about the potential for violence, you should thank your lucky stars.
And you should also be aware that just because it hasn’t happened to you or anyone you know does not mean that it doesn’t happen.
Lemme say that louder for the people in the back.
Just because it hasn’t happened to you or anyone you know does not mean that it doesn’t happen.
Re-Reblog for relevant commentary.
And if you won’t take a woman’s word for it because you are some kind of asshat, men who sleep with men also mirror these rituals because even men are afraid of other men based on men’s behavior and inability to understand “no” or take rejection well.
I’ll stop reblogging this when it stops being relevant
Alllll of this. Being paranoid will often save your life. Assholes who say otherwise need to shut their noise holes and stop acting like they know better.
Date idea: you go over to their place, to cut their hair since they asked you to. You get them in a chair, put a garbage bag on them so no hair goes down their back, and you start cutting. At first no talking, as you’re focused. But you loosen up as you go along, since you’re getting the hang of it. They then ask you “what will the payment be for this?” They smirk towards you and you get a little weak in the knees. Once you finish they pick you up and start kissing you saying they couldn’t wait to.
This weekend has been so jam packed with fun, I don’t even know where to start!
On Saturday we woke up to pouring rain and our original plans become a bit of a washout, so we decided to pop our wellies on and head into town to book a holiday – I even tried out a new hairstyle that two strangers complimented me on so thank you for that wonderful strangers! We’d planned to squeeze another holiday in before the end of the year but just hadn’t got round to booking anything, so we took the plunge and will be jetting off to warmer climates in just over 4 weeks’ time for a week of pure relaxation together. After that we realised around a year ago we were embarking on our first dates together so we decided to head over to Manchester to re-create those happy first days with a game of mini golf! In the end we drew which considering we’re both incredibly competitive was the best outcome(!) and we headed off for lunch at a beautiful Thai restaurant. As I’m currently on the Kayla Itsines programme I wanted to find something healthy so I chose a super spicy Tom Yum soup followed by seafood in chilli & basil with brown rice and stir fry veg and you know what?…It was delicious!
After our date afternoon we headed over to the Holi One festival that was in full swing in Manchester as I’d been given two VIP wristbands and we couldn’t turn down the opportunity for a bit of a boogie! We rocked up in our bright white t-shirts only to be pelted with coloured powder by other festival goers as punishment for being ‘too clean’ – nothing like getting stuck right in! After a powder fight with each other, a couple of mocktails and cocktails, watching some of the circus performers in the crowd and getting covered in even more powder while having a dance in the happy crowds we headed home for a much needed shower! If you’re thinking about heading to a Holi One festival next year (they hold them all over the country) then definitely do, they’re great fun and a fantastic day out!
Yesterday I was invited to review Miller & Carter in The Mailbox in Birmingham so we hopped on a train and made our way to Bar Epernay for a cheeky few glasses of bubbly before our meal! I’d been working so hard on my new fitness programme during the week and as I’m only allowing myself one day for booze that glass of Veuve was the best I’d ever tasted! After a good old chinwag over a few drinks we headed upstairs to enjoy a delicious steak meal (more on that coming later this week) with even more wine and we left two very happy bunnies with two extremely full tummies to catch our train home.
Asthe weather was glorious we decided to walk home form the station stopping at a favourite watering hole on the way for one more drink before cuddling up on the sofa in front of the new Keeping Up With The Kardashians (we’re both sadly addicted) and waving bye-bye to another weekend.
I hope your weekend has been just as jam-packed with fun! ♥
Just had a very good first date with someone I met on tumblr. He commented on and/or liked one of my posts, and I liked his username, so I went to his page. He indicates the general location, and his about me mentioned that he was a feminist. I was in a particularly social mood, so I went ahead and sent him an ask.
He responded and we talked for a bit. He sent me a link to his okcupid profile. I liked it, we’re a 99% match, and he’d already sent me a message (that mentioned Tamora Pierce!) I had on my list of messages I wanted to respond to, but just hadn’t yet. We messaged back and forth and decided to meet tonight.
We had a fun first date with delicious food, excellent (and comfortable/easy to have) conversation, walking while holding hands, and making out/hair pulling/light choking in front of a local tourist attraction. We’re getting together for more fun sometime soon. And none of this would be possible without you, tumblr. So, thank you!
PS. I’m still workshopping nicknames for him. I’m thinking “Good Guy Tumblr Dom”, since he’s a d-type from tumblr, but he’s not a “tumblr dom” in the usual sense. Also possible: a variation on that, like “Not-A-Tumblr Dom” (actually I like this one a lot).Or “The Programmer” (I used that for someone already, but that didn’t go anywhere, so I could reappropriate it). Thoughts?
When Reaction Junkie and I reached the party, he suggested we go up to a private room. I was a little unsure, but I decided to go along with it. We went upstairs and picked a room. Reaction Junkie unzipped his bag and began showing off his handcuffs. He’s a bit of a fan. (That’s an understatement. He almost always has like 5 or more sets of cuffs in his kink bag, even if he’s just going to happy hour. And of course, I have to carry the damn thing.) He showed me how to use a couple sets and I set to work putting them on him.
I secured his hands behind his back and cuffed his ankles together. Then I started hitting him a bit. Not very hard, but hard enough. As we played, we chatted. I don’t remember much of what was said, although I’m sure the regular conversation was intermixed with me saying condescending and/or insulting things to Reaction Junkie. I told him I wasn’t sure about having sex, but noted that, I really should since he is a man, after all. At the time, MLAM and I were playing with a fairly intense and all-encompassing context of fucking with my feminism/consensual misogyny, which meant I was supposed to offer myself to any and all men for their pleasure and entertainment.
I also informed Reaction Junkie that he couldn’t give me permission to get off, though, since he was choosing to let me dominate him, thus forfeiting the control over my orgasms he would otherwise have as a man. I enjoyed saying that to him, even if it meant I wasn’t going to get off. At his request, I uncuffed his hands and recuffed them in front of him. I straddled Reaction Junkie and started grinding against him. I continued messing with him, and I was really getting into it.
I told Reaction Junkie to say nice things about me, and he immediately started complimenting me. He said wonderful things about parts of my body, my personality, my intellect, etc. I loved it. I should make him do that sort of thing more often. I uncuffed his hands and he started using them on me. He’s got game in the “hand stuff” department, but I wasn’t quite getting there. I knew what I needed. I needed degradation, consensual misogyny, name-calling, and to feel subby. I felt a bit bad, but decided that it was best to just ask for what I wanted. I asked Reaction Junkie, “Would it ruin it for you if I asked you to say terrible things to me?” Without missing a beat, he slapped me across the face and said, “Shut up, whore.”*
I swooned. Reaction Junkie saw how positively I responded to his words and the slap. He took over and continued this treatment, degrading me and hurting me. I clearly remember thinking “What a clever boy” as he got a handle on the consensual misogyny quite quickly, calling me names, insulting women as a class, saying the kinds of terrible things that get me soaking wet. He hit me, hurt me, and choked me, treating me the way I crave being treated. His words and actions combined to put me in a lovely little subby headspace. When he started playing with my cunt again, I got into it, gasping and moaning. Reaction Junkie said, “Oh? Can I give you permission now?”, calling back to when I told him he couldn’t give me permission to orgasm because he hadn’t been taking his rightful place over me. He continued using his hands on me as I whimpered that of course he could give me permission. He continued rubbing my clit and fucking my cunt with his fingers, gave me permission, and managed to get me close to orgasm.**
By this point, I was both super turned on and super into Reaction Junkie. I said*** that we could have piv sex (whether by saying “Fuck me!” or asking more demurely, I can’t recall), and he took me up on that offer. I grabbed one of the condoms supplied by the space, gave it to Reaction Junkie, and he fucked me. Now, I had mentioned to him earlier that I was into forced impregnation/nonconsensual unprotected sex fantasies. Not one to let a chance to press someone’s buttons pass him by, after he came, Reaction Junkie leaned close and whispered into my ear, “Our baby is going to be beautiful.”
We chatted while we cleaned up the room, and then sat on a nearby couch for a while to cuddle and talk more. Eventually, we went off to do our own thing with other people at the party. Whenever we ran into each other, Reaction Junkie took a dominant attitude with the way he spoke and acted towards me. I had already been hoping to see more of him because of the fun we’d had the previous night, but seeing him in that new light made me even more eager to spend time with him. At one point, he even threatened to choke me out. Then, as I was leaving, I went over to him and was delighted when he grabbed my hair firmly to say goodbye. I smiled to myself as I walked to my car and drove home.
The next day, I texted him, “I had a great time last night! It hurts when I press on my sternum, which is the best. We should definitely hang out again sometime soon.” He responded, “I had a fantastic time too. Glad you enjoyed yourself. Let me know when you want to get together again soon.” “Soon” turned out to be the following Wednesday. And then again the very day I got back from my San Francisco/Colorado trip. We started to see each other most days out of the week. That became spending most nights together. Before I knew it, I had fallen for him, and he had fallen for me.
*Reaction Junkie likes to say this is when I fell in love with him. That’s not actually true. But it did flip a switch in the way I thought about him. I decided, “I need to spend a lot more time with this guy.”
**Reaction Junkie thinks I did get off, although my notes on the night say I got close. Either way, I know I was impressed with his hand stuff game.
***To be honest, I actually can’t remember who offered/suggested the piv sex. Either way, the important point is that I was more than ready to have him fuck me.
So, Friday was rough (thank you for the kind messages, by the way. They really helped, and I’m going to respond wh N I get a chance to sit down with my laptop), but today should be lots of fun!
Tonight is Reaction Junkie’s birthday dinner, which might be a little difficult because of who is supposed to be there, but it also should be fun because i like pretty much everyone who will be there, and because it’s at a Brazilian steakhouse type place, so I’m getting to go I one of my favorite vegan places beforehand with other veg*ns kinksters!
But before that, I have a date(?) with someone I met off okcupid. I call him Tamora Pierce Guy because he messaged me because of our shared love for Tamora Pierce. I say in my profile that she’s be of my favorite authors, and that if someone likes her, they should send me a message because we’re almost certainly going to get along.
I met him in person for the first time a couple weeks, and it was great! He’s easy to talk to, and we seem to have a fair amount in common. He has an interesting job that means he k own a lot about ears going on in international news. Plus, I dig his style. I don’t know if he’s kinky or not, although I do know he isn’t anti-kink, and that he is ethically nonmonogamous.
I’m super excited about hanging out with today! We’re going to pick up delicious vegan baked goods and then go back to his place to eat a sandwich (a la HIMYM). We’re going to eat the baked goods, and cuddle, and talk, and I don’t know what else. I’m a bit nervous because I think he’s super cool and I don’t want to mess up, but hey, I’m also super cool, too!
I’m on the train on the way in to the city. 20 minutes to delicious vegan food!
