#humor blog

Shaggy’s uncle is saved…

…and the bad guys were – as is tradition – subdued by some sheets being draped on top of them.

As per cat-stuck-in-a-pillowcase logic!

Fred says, and I quote:

“Now it’s our turn for a little magic, Zarko. We’re gonna make you and your pal disappear from here…” 

“…and reappear in prison!”

…

…Fred. 

C’mon, man.

This magician guy has nothin’ on your magical powers.

I assumed this was a patented Freddy quip about the inevitable (totally not Casey Kasem) police officer taking the bad guy away, but… if he can disappear Daphne and Velma, what chance does Zarko have?

It’s often hard to even imagine that several characters were – very temporarily –  all drawn on the same layer.

…

…ok, in my defense,“often” isn’t the same as “always.”

Think Scooby felt left out being on a background layer all by himself? Not getting invited to the cel-bump wiggle party?

…ok,technically should have been “infinisalamiswiss,”but I’ll let my past self slide.

*And Abundant Accidental Alliteration

Step 1: becoming exposed to said snacks

Step 2: nose beginning to do… things

Step 3: unnerving everyone within a hundred-foot radius

Step 4: achieving truly-distressing levels of nostril elongation

Step 5: wait wait, what? there’s a secondangle?

Step 6: …no, really, it’s ok, I got a great view the first time–

Step 7: seriously I PROMISE you, I have no need to see that far up Shaggy’s–

Step 8: OK, I’M SORRY I MADE FUN OF THE SNIFFING ANIMATION

JUST LET IT STOP

i do solemnly swear to never abuse the pause button again

Take yesterday for instance!

It didn’t get a post because we had to drive 11 PM – 5 AM back from Atlanta…

…and today’s post…

…isexactly how that felt 

Shoutout to the two streetlights somewhere in SC that were flashin’ all weird on the drive in, and kept it up days later for our way back.

ThisparticularShaggy.

I mean, don’t get me wrong. The entire scene is special to fade up on…

…Velma’s proud pose… Daphne checking her out…

…Fred staring dead at the camera… it’s solid stuff.

But this weird Shaggy just getsme.

So, rock goes in the tower window, everybody climbs up the rope? Pretty neat!

…up there?

I mean, that’s seriously high… is the rope gonna–

Welp, no time, there they go! Scheme underway!

Shag & Scoob land… up it flings….

It ascends!

It… descends!

…it had, like, 12 feet of rope attached to it!

Yeah, sorry Fred my man, but that was never gonna work

Looook, these are all just details, Fred’s a big-picture kinda guy. 12-foot rope, 50-foot tower, let the number crunchers work it out.

A wiggle party? 

Exceptional.

Seriously though, this happens all the time. I’ll be collecting some goofy detail, space out, and say “…wait, that’s, like, some gorgeous environmental design.”

It’s not like they’re hilariously off-model or anything.

But whatever it is…

…this particular Shaggy? 

This particular Velma?

…they unsettleme

I have none.

scoobydoomistakes:

*Scooby dashes inside to escape the monster*

*moment of silence*

*Scooby exits again, without a word*

*takes time to wipe his paws off on the mat*

Me: “Whoa! That’s, like… an actual joke, which never happens in the show! That’s worth 1/3rd of a point, A Pup Named Scooby-Doo.”

*much later*

*the whole gang is freaked out by the aforementioned monster*

*they all frantically run inside*

*moment of silence*

*they exit again, and – simultaneously – all wipe their feet off*

Me: “Ok, that’s cheesy and wonderful. 2/3rds of a point.”

*monster immediately scrambles inside after them*

*moment of silence*

Me: “…pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease–”

Me: “YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS”

Me: “FULL COMEDY POINT AWARDED, A PUP NAMED SCOOBY-DOO!”

this made me so dang happy you don’t even know

Y’all. Look.

You gotta stop reblogging A Pup Named Scooby-Dooposts. You’re gonna make me want to go back.

And we know all too well the madness that lies down that path.

…hey, least it delivers on its three-G’d promise.

Ted the Animator: “It’s not, and conspicuousso.”

Carl the Animator: “It’ll be fine!”

Ted the Animator: “Ok, here. The gang’s underneath the chandelier, right?”

Carl the Animator: “Sure.”

Ted the Animator: “Hypnotized Shag ‘n’ Scoob show up. Reeeaaally establishes exactly where everyone is standing.”

Carl the Animator: “To paraphrase Crow T. Robot, we’re establishing the heck out of this scene.”

Ted the Animator: “Suddenly, cut to a kinda-closeup.”

Carl the Animator: “Mmhmm?”

Ted the Animator: “…”

Carl the Animator: “…”

Ted the Animator: “Does this not distract you?”

Carl the Animator: “Afterthat long standing still for no reason, they just overcompensated. …and did it faster than the speed of light.”

scoobydoomistakes:

For instance, let’s say we take only frames of Daphne’s left leg extended…

…and then… then, um…

…well,it sorta speaks for itself

fred and daphne are sorcerers 

I may not remember having done this, but it made me chuckle when it popped up again in the activity feed.

Thanks, past self.  Always a source of entertainment, you little weirdo.

–Colin(current/future)

1.Run from spooky ghosts

2.Black Knight appears

3.Get stopped on an ordinary bit of floor

4.Chat for a second

5.Question the lighter square that now exists directly underneath you

6.Feel like your true adversary was continuity all along

Think of it like an easter egg. You’d be surprised how often you’ll notice it most of the time!

…emphasis on “most of the time.”

Though to be fair, surprised-Daphne/Velma-camera-take is arguably far superior.

[pt. 3 here!] – i legitimately rushed to get this ready before late-night work yesterday and then hit “draft” instead of “queue,” I’m an idiot

As we enter the homestretch, I’ll warn you… things get a little surreal. 

Like, even more than usual.

Like,Scrappy being a butterfly and fishmonger.

He may admittedly be in the seafood transportation sector, but that’s really up to the reader’s interpretation. 

Seriously now, things get weirdas it devolves. Here’s another section generated, verbatim:

Who’s talking? 

What’s the competition? 

What vendetta does the hand-ghost have against it? I don’t have answers.

…frankly, if I did have answers, that would be even moreconcerning.

But hey, new character alert! There’s a Captain Ramsey now.

…oh yeah, and let’s not forget about Mr. Velma too.

Earlier we had Mr. Daphne, now Mr. Velma… the neural network discovered fanfiction!

Of course you may rightly be wondering – what’s Mr. Velma’s area of expertise as a scientist?

…it’s space. 

Yes,the gang is going to outer space.

Don’t ask me who Felicious is. My money’s either on “rapper”or“Shakespearean nobleman.”

So yeah, they’re in space now, asking questions – when a planet glows in the dark, what causes that?

…water.Likeduh.

C’mon, people. You shouldn’t have to rely on Mr. Velma to explain this stuff.

They somehow manage an almost real-sounding planetary discussion…

…oh yeah, and D.B. Cooper is with them too.

We looked everywhere on earth for him… but he wasn’t on earth at all.

Only three excerpts from the end, however, we’ve exhausted our supply of normalcy. Reality melts down further by the second.

For instance here, I find myself asking:

1. Are they back on Earth now?

2. What?

3.Seriously,what?

I’ve spent five minutes just trying to find what to say here… I’ve got nothing.

At least fortunately, a (maybe) spooky creature shows up in typical Scooby-Doo fashion…

…unfortunately… Scooby is now Velma’s uncle.

insert “monkey’s uncle” joke here or something, my brain hurts

After an adventure so grand, so chaotic – even bringing them to outer space – what could possibly conclude a saga like this?

…of course. I should have known.

Some random nonsense and Velma not being old enough to be elected governor. 

Ok.We’re done. It’s all done. It’s over. If you need me, I think I’m gonna go lay down and see if my brain can unmelt.

[pt. 2 here! / pt. 4 coming!]

We rejoin our intrepid adventurers doing what they do best…

…whimpering, panicking, and… callingthemselves for help?

The 3 of you that are old Homestarrunner fans will see the Best Caper Ever similarities. The rest of you will, rightly, just think us weird.

With the introduction of a plane crash, we get somewhere in the vicinity of a real plot…

…which may have been caused by a… pizza factory.

Pizzeria,pizza factory, taqueria,taco depot. Same thing.

And speaking of food, a new character is introduced, bringing a small sandwich. Shaggy responds…

…by screaming, and then immediately chilling out.

I especially like how it’s “this time.” The implication that this is a repeat situation, and Mr. Moss primarily just brings them sandwiches.

Butoh no! 

…like,really oh no. They all agree.

…though I gotta say, Fred has a very optimistic perspective on the future of sea beasts.

Sea Beasts of Tomorrow: the ‘50s educational short we desperately need.

Next, everybody, um… they sorta… well, they…

…

…well,they get really into sea cows.

Imagine it as a real episode. The plot just comes screechin’ to a halt, and everyone gets obsessed about an extinct sea-bound mammal for a bit.

Which is shortly followed by a scene that can only be described as a carbon monoxide leak…

…or an excerpt from a lost Samuel Beckett play.

“…what shall I say of today? That with Shaggy my friend, at this place, until the fall of night, I waited for Fred-ot? That Scrappy passed with his carrier, and he spoke to us? But in that, what truth will there be?”

But then, out of nowhere… Tonyshows up.

And with him ushers in the… Blue Shaggysubplot?

Oh, that’s just classicTony.

I’m trying to follow, here. So they met some alternate Shaggy in an alley?

Who can read minds, and they have to run from?

…wait,is Blue Shaggy actually a cohesive villain?

He’s a robot! Blue Shaggy is a mind-reading robot, impersonating a member of the gang!

I can’t believe it. The neural network actually has a plot going!

…aaaaand Fred’s making up words and putting blood on his hands to keep vampires away.

Guess things are back to normal, folks.

…normal as AI-generated Scooby-Doo can get, that is.

But worry not…

…I’m emotionally invested too. We’ll finish the AI-generated episode for sure.

I don’t know the last time I laughed so hard writing a post as during… well, all of that.

We’ll just try to ground things a bit first, do a regular post tonight, k?

*opens episode*

…oh. Uh, you alright there, Shag? Is this a bad time–

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NEVER MIND, REAL EPISODES ARE JUST AS TERRIFYING

as least in ai-generated ones shaggy can’t stare into our souls

[april fools 2022 – introductory post/pt. 1 here!]

We re-join the gang with mystery already in process, humming along to themselves…

…and thus begins the recurring theme of speaking in triplicate.

You’ve got your garden-variety mysteries, your mysteries about mysteries, and then your mysteries aboutmystery-mysteries.

Scrappy is, as some of you may be glad to hear, in some kind of peril…

…and he’s Scrappy. Scrappy is Scrappy. 

We must be certain about this fact.

Anddang, son, the sass comin’ out of Scooby at the end there.

Next, Velma uses the phrase “up-vote”… which feels weird enough already…

…but the fact that someone “gaspers” just takes it up a notch.

Y’see, y'got your three basic kinds of noises. Roaring, rumbling, and gaspering.

Shortly after, Shaggy informs Scooby he must… prepare to splat?

…and now I’m starting to think there might actually be three Scrappy-Doos.

Fun fact: in the stuff left on the cutting room floor, the phrase "prepare to splat" recurs a surprising number of times. 

This next section actually comes out fairly normally, though!

…including scrappy suggesting Scooby cluck like a chicken if he’s in the mood.

But this next bit, um… where do I even begin.

It generated no names, the formatting is all wonky–… 

…

…y’know what, here. This is it verbatim.

Do with this information as you will.

Somehow, I doubt the AI will ever get Ghosts In The Fog And A Butt-Touching Dog adapted into a real episode.

[pt. 3 here!]

[introduction here! /pt.2 here!]

Our artificial episode starts the same as any real episode – with Daphne forcibly taking over an island.

Ah, “Acting dumb is for fools”. Words to live by.

But then the mystery begins! The gang learns of some ghost-beasts being searched for…

…which Shaggy soon solves bytaking 150 ghost-beastsand just… placing them elsewhere.

Insert gif of Patrick here. Y’know, thatone.

Next, the gang gets… gets, um… a little confused.

…ok, maybe a lotconfused.

Tune in next week to the exciting conclusion of “was a ghost a ghost." 

We’re also treated the first appearance of Scrappy-Doo…

…who’s…performing some kind of ritual? Maybe? Any guesses?

Also, Daphne, technically it’s SirScoob.

Now, the apparent ghost-capital they’re exploring is, as we learn, located by a cliff cliff…

…and Fred has a line so delightful it should be in a real episode.

Ghost-beasts, man. Even geological formations are scared of ‘em.

At this point, the neural network generating this gets a little… audio-notation-happy.

…oh yeah, and “Mr. Daphne” happens too.

Even gumming and crowding can’t really compete with that.

It’s only after a discussion on supernatural employment, though, that the first audio-notation peak is hit…

…and no matter how hard I try, I can’t even imagine.

Whose giggly yelling is it? Velma’s? The ghost’s, during its ghost work? 

Scrappy then reprises his concerning messages from the demon sequence…

…and is somehow more-concerning than when he was summoning a demon.

The laughing? Maybe his. The hisses? Maybe the demon’s. The gulf? …Mexico’s?

Of course, it has to cap off with the greatest stage direction of all time…

…most scooby mumbles.

Which coincidentally was the name of my grunge band in college.