#if only part two
If Only - Part Two
Plot: It has been four months since the last time Obi-Wan and Y/n saw each other. Reunited on a strange planet, they learn that their feelings for one another still remain. While stranded together, the time apart seems to have only made it harder for them to resist their hidden desires.
Pairing: Obi-Wan Kenobi x GN!Reader
Warnings: Mentions of fighting, violence, blood (not graphic). Not really a warning, but this is a bit of a slow-burn part, but I still hope you like it.
Words: ~5k
General Taglist:@criminaly-supernatural,@caswinchester2000,@imaginesfire,@rexit-moStar Wars Taglist:@hoeforthefictional;@whimsical-daydreamsRequested Taglist:@angelsandarsenic,@havlindzk,@auryborealis (you showed interest in a second part, so I hope you don’t mind me tagging you)
-
As you stirred the tea in your mug, you stared out the window of your shelter. It was quiet, as usual, with no people for miles. It was just you out here, by yourself, surrounded by trees and mountains.
You had begun to get used to it, but sometimes you still yearned for company. Specifically that of Obi-Wan. You often fondly remembered the long conversations you had together, and how easy it was to talk to him.
You thought you would think of him less, the longer you were apart, but you were wrong. You often thought back on that day when you went on your last mission together. How close you got to breaking the rules. You could still remember the feel of his face brushing against yours, his lips pressed against your skin.
Letting your mind wander even more, you thought back to the day you left the resistance base, four months ago. Yoda had given you this mission, to be a Jedi spy out in the distant system. You couldn’t refuse him, even if he did not give you a reason for sending you off alone.
As you were packing up your things, Anakin and Obi-Wan came to see you off. When you had a moment alone with Obi-Wan, he expressed his concerns.
“Do you not think me ready?” You asked, somewhat offended.
He sighed and shook his head. “I think you more than qualified. It’s just-” He didn’t finish, but instead turned and stared off in the distance.
You spoke softly, daring to ask. “Is it that you will miss me?”
When he turned to you, you had a soft, almost playful smile on your face. A soft smile spread across his own face as well, as he nodded once. “Yes Y/n, I will miss you.” Turning and taking a step closer he peered into your eyes. “I also worry for you, out there on your own.”
You looked down at your feet. “Yes. It’s odd to think of being so alone. Especially after being here with everyone.”
“I only hope your mission does not keep you away long.”
Looking back up at him, you caught something in his gaze that he seemed to quickly hide. You smiled and nodded. “I hope so too.” Turning, you looked at the ship, as the pilot waved to you, signalling he was ready.
“It’s time.” You said softly, before turning back to him.
You were surprised when he suddenly took your hand in his. You felt him press something into your palm, closing your fist around it.
“Do not forget who you are Y/n.” Then he continued, with an even quieter voice “And do not forget to come back to me.” He smiled softly at you, an almost melancholy smile, before he released your hand and stepped back.
You hesitated for a moment, before you turned and walked to the ship. As you boarded, you turned once more, to see Anakin and the others waving you off. Opening your hand, you looked at the object Obi-Wan had given you, and you felt your chest tighten. It was a pendant, for a neck chain, the symbol of the Jedi order. You knew it was risky for him to give you something like this, especially when going off as spy. But you would keep it safe, to remind you of who you were, and where you belonged.
Looking up, you locked eyes with Obi-Wan one last time as the doors closed, you felt your gut clench as you wondered how long it would be before you saw him again.
Getting up from the table, you walked over to the corner of the room, uncovering a trunk. Opening it you reached in, pulling out a small box. Opening it, you pulled out the pendant that Obi-Wan had given you, which you now had on a chain.
You smiled to yourself as you ran your fingers over it. You let out a long sigh, as homesickness washed over you. The Clone Wars seems to be coming to a head, and you were stuck out here, when you should be with the resistance. You felt restless, useless.
Suddenly, your window was blown in by a weapons blast, causing you to throw yourself to the floor. You grabbed your nearby blaster as you waited, heart pounding.
“Come out Jedi scum!” You heard a metallic voice ring out.
‘Droids?’You cursed under your breath as you realized your cover was blown. Someone in the town must have recognized you last time you went. Looking at the still open trunk, you saw your cloaks and light-saber. Grabbing them, and a subspace transceiver, you ran out the back door.
As you ran through the woods, you heard the droid voices nearby, followed by more blasting into shelter you had called home over the last four months.
Hiding behind a large tree you began to send a message to the resistance base. Telling them your cover was blown, and you were on the run. You were unsure of when they would get the message, or how long you would be on your own.
As a tree beside you was suddenly blown apart, you ducked before continuing to run further into the woods, aware you were now being chased.
—————–
Obi-Wan listened to your message, as it played throughout the room. Your voice was hushed and panicked, in the background he could hear the clear sound of weapons fire. The rest of the council shared concerned looks as Yoda carefully watched Obi-Wan.
“I shall go.” Obi-Wan said with a resolute look at Master Yoda.
Yoda hummed to himself as he studied Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan knew why he was somewhat resistant to the thought, but he would not back down.
Surprisingly, he did not question Obi-Wan, or resist, but nodded his head. “Yes, go you shall. Find Y/n, you will. And return soon.”
Obi-Wan nodded in thanks, before bowing lightly and turning to leave. His thoughts raced as he hurried to his jet. Your message was hours old, and it would take him much longer than he’d like to get to the planet. He hoped you had not been captured, or killed.
'Hold out Y/n. For me. I’m coming.’ He thought deeply to himself, part of him reaching out with the force, hoping that somehow, you could hear him.
What he found when he arrived at the coordinates of your shelter caused his chest to clench. Your shelter had been completely destroyed, and there was no sign of you.
Following the tracks he could find entering the forest, he knew you had been followed by a small army of droids. Along the path, he discovered multiple droid bodies, clearly cut down by your saber.
Eventually, the woods grew thicker and dark, as the evening fog began to descend on him. Looking down into a distant valley, he spotted the group of droids looking or you.
Feeling a nearby presence, he pulled out his saber. Looking into the dense forest, he saw movement through the fog. He knew not if it was you, a native, or a droid. Slowly, he creeped into the fog, attempting to follow the figure.
As he rounded a small rock mound, he noted the empty clearing. Feeling movement behind him, he swung around, unleashing his saber, only for it to clash with another’s.
“Obi-Wan” Your voice rang out, full of surprise and relief.
Obi-Wan let out a breath as he saw you, quickly redrawing his saber. Putting your own away, you looked at him breathlessly. “You came.”
“Of course I did.”
He saw an odd look in your eyes, as if there was something you wanted to say. Clearing your throat a bit you stepped a bit closer. “Please tell me you have a ship nearby.”
He nodded, “Yes, we should go quickly.” His gaze washed over you and he hesitated when he saw your side covered in blood.
Seeing where his gaze was drawn, you looked down at our bloodied clothes. “It’s not as bad as it looks.” You said with a soft laugh.
Turning, he looked around, seeing a small cave nearby. “Come, in here, let me take a look.”
Watching him walk away, you felt your heart pounding heavily. Taking a deep breath you followed him. “Did Anakin not come as well? You two are usually inseparable.”
Obi-Wan looked back at you and smiled softly. “He was busy.”
Looking around the small cave, you hoped it was not the home to any creatures. You jumped slightly when you felt Obi-Wan suddenly touch your side.
“Sorry.” He said softly as he tugged at your shirt. “You are right, it’s not as bad as it looks, but you’ve been running with this wound, and you’ve lost a concerning amount of blood.” Looking out of the cave, you saw him considering what to do. “The ship is a bit too far I think. And the droids are in the opposite direction. I think we should stay here for the night.”
You looked out at the darkening forest and sighed. “You are probably right. I’ve come across some nasty creatures that prowl this forest at night.” As you spoke, you stretched out your arm, revealing a long scar along your forearm.
Obi-Wan grabbed your wrist, looking at the scar. He felt his gut clench lightly at the thought of what you had to deal with our here. He met our eyes. “I hope this is the only scar you’ve received out here.”
You shrugged your head a bit, suggesting there were more. You saw him frown slightly before he walked into the cave, looking around. You watched him for a moment as you let out a long breath.
Butterflies were erupting through your stomach, and you silently cursed them, having hoped maybe you could have repressed some of your feelings while while gone.
As darkness descended, you sat against the cold cave wall watching silently as Obi-Wan stood just outside the cave, listening and watching. In the distance you heard a long animalistic howl and you shivered. Recognizing the call of the animal that had almost taken your life a month earlier.
As Obi-Wan walked back into the cave he watched you closely. “The droid army is far away from us, we are safe.”
Sitting down across from you, he looked you over. Your hair had grown, and you looked worn out. His eyes stopped on your neck, as he spotted the Jedi pendant. He felt his heart palpitate and his neck grow hot. Clearing his throat, you looked over at him.
“Are things as bad as I hear? I haven’t been able to get any confirmation, only whispers from the people in town.”
“They are certainly not as good as I would like.”
“And things are only going to get worse, aren’t they?”
“I’m afraid so.”
You nodded your head as you looked out at the dark forest. “I felt useless out here.” You admitted.
“You are not useless, and you never have been. I have heard of the information you have gathered. Information that has helped the resistance considerably.”
You fiddled with your hands. “Did Master Yoda ever reveal why he sent me out here? Did I do something wrong? Did he not trust me to be with the resistance?”
Obi-Wan felt his guilt and dejection wash over him. “It was not that he did not trust you Y/n. It was that he did not trust me.”
You looked up at him, “What do you mean?”
As he stared at you silently, contemplating, you felt your ears grow hot as your mind began to race. Slowly, Obi-Wan spoke, his voice hesitant. “He could sense the conflict within me. My feelings for you. He was afraid it would effect my judgment.”
Your heart was pounding heavily in your chest. “So he sent me away?”
Obi-Wan looked down at his feet. “Yes. I am sorry.”
“I understand.” Obi-Wan looked at you inquisitively. “If he could feel the conflict within you, surely he could sense it within me as well. And you are much stronger than me, a better Jedi, more important. If he had to send someone away, it makes sense that it was me.”
Obi-Wan watched your face closely as you stared at the ground. He could tell your mind was racing, as you tried to suppress the strong emotions racing through you.
“But-” You began, slowly looking up at him. “Why did he allow you to come for me now?”
A small, almost unnoticeable smile crossed his lips. “Because he knew I would trust no one else to come”
Your eyes stayed locked, as you felt tension begin to grow. Forcing yourself to look away, you knew the more you talked, the harder it would be to repress your feelings. But, there was something you needed to know, needed to say.
“I-” You began, but faltered.
Obi-Wan watched you as you hesitated. “What?” He asked softly.
“It is possible that I imagined it, out of fear when I was fleeing, but…I thought that I, heard you. Before you got here.”
Obi-Wan felt his heart jolt as he as up straighter. “What did you hear?”
“I heard your voice in the back of my head. Saying ’Hold out Y/n. For me. I’m coming.’” I thought maybe it was just me trying to convince myself that the Jedi were coming to help me, perhaps to calm myself.“
"It was me.” He said abruptly.
You met his eyes and saw them full of surprise. “It was?”
He nodded once as he stood, walking over to you. Kneeling down in front of you he stared intently at you. “When I was leaving the resistance base to come to you, I thought those words. I sent them out with the force, hoping that you could hear me, but I didn’t know if you would. But you did.”
You nodded, unable to find any words. Your eyes were locked as various emotions washed over you. You knew his own eyes were reflecting yours.
As a cold wind blew through the cave, you wrapped your cloak around you tighter and looked away from him.
Obi-Wan took a deep breath as he moved to sit beside you, shielding you somewhat from the cold. His shoulder was pressed close against yours as you sat in silence.
You felt exhaustion begin to wash over you as the adrenaline of the day began to fade. Feeling Obi-Wan so close, you had nervous butterflies in your stomach. But even more, you felt safe, and relieved to be by his side.
As your eyes began to grow heavy, your body slowly began to relax and slump. Your thoughts had begun to grow foggy as you felt your head droop, resting on Obi-Wan’s shoulder. You felt him tense up for a moment before he relaxed. You knew you should move, but you could find no strength to.
Feeling Obi-Wan reach over and adjust your cloak so it was covering you completely, you let out a soft breath. “Obi-Wan?”
“Yes?” His soft voice met your ears.
“Thank you for coming to get me.”
There was a moment of silence as you began to drift into sleep. You thought for a moment, through the fog, that you felt him press his lips softly to your head. Followed by his whispered voice. “Always.”
And then there was darkness.
—————–
Staring out into the forest as the dawn light shone through the fog, you and Obi-Wan stood side by side, listening and waiting for any sign that the droids might be nearby.
After a few more moments, Obi-Wan let out a deep breath and nodded his head. “Lets go.”
Following him silently, you looked back once more at the cave, before you headed into the forest behind him. You walked silently, both of you aware you could be ambushed at any moment if the droids had returned to this side of the planet.
When you returned to what had been your shelter, you took a moment to look it over. Obi-Wan watched you silently, before you turned and nodded to him, signalling you were ready to move on.
“The ship is not too far from here.” He said quietly as he looked around.
“Do you remember the last mission we went on?” You asked softly.
Obi-Wan met your eyes and nodded. You were certain his mind flashed to the moment you had on the ship afterwards, just as yours had. But you were referring to that gut feeling, that something was going to go wrong.
“I have the same feeling I did on that planet.” You spoke as you looked into the nearby trees.
Obi-Wan nodded. “As do I.”
Following Obi-Wan away from the shelter, your defenses were up, both of you expecting to run into droids any moment. Hearing something nearby, you both stopped and listened.
Closing your eyes, you listened intently, reaching out with the force as best you could. Feeling as though something was coming up from behind, you did not hesitate. Taking out your saber, you spun and threw it into the woods behind you.
Obi-Wan spun around, watching as the saber went into the darkness, before clearly slicing trough some hidden droids. As your saber came back to you, Obi-Wan unleashed his own, watching you and waiting for more to come out, but none did.
You looked back at him and saw the clear surprise in his gaze at your actions. You shrugged lightly “When you are out here alone for as long as me, its easier to feel a disturbance.”
A soft smile graced his face as you both turned, hearing movement in the distance again. “There will be more between us and the ship.”
You nodded. “I’m ready if you are.”
After a short moment, he began to move, as you quickly followed him. You ventured through the woods cautiously, trying to go around the group of droids, waiting to avoid a fight if you could.
Spotting the ship in a nearby clearing, you saw a group of droids waiting around it, watching for you to come near. You and Obi-Wan crouched down behind a group of boulder-like rocks and watched the droids.
“I count seven.”
“Eight.” You added, and he looked over at you.
You motioned your head at the trees, and he looked up, spotting a hidden sentury drone in the trees.
“Very good. You’ve grown stronger.”
“I had no choice.” You said softly, aware that Obi-Wan looked over at you watching you closely.
“Once we get away from here, you must tell me all that transpired over your time here.”
Looking over and meeting his gaze, you smiled softly. “I’m sure you have some stories of your own too.”
He met your gaze softly for a moment before you both turned and looked back at the ship. “Ready?” He asked and you nodded silently.
Simultaneously you snuck out from behind the rocks and moved through the bushes, going separate directions, and getting as close as you could before you attacked. Getting right behind some of the droids, you looked across the clearing, spotting Obi-Wan behind two other droids. One nod and you both acted.
Slicing though the two droids, you grabbed a blaster and shot the sentry drone out of the tree. Obi-Wan took out two droids before the remaining three began to fire on the two of you. Diving behind a tree, you watched as Obi-Wan advanced on the droids. Firing on one of the droids with the blaster, you could hear droids coming from the distance, having heard the blaster fire.
As Obi-Wan took out the last two droids, you ran for the ship. As a blast hit the ship beside you, you spun around and began firing on the droids coming from the woods. Obi-Wan called out for you as the ship doors began to close.
Quickly diving into the ship, you returned more fire on the droids as the ship door closed. Obi-Wan quickly ran to the cock-pit as you heard more blaster fire hitting the ship. Following him to the cock-pit, you took the fighter seat preparing to fire on the droids as you took off.
“This is the most fun I’ve had in months.” You grinned as you fired down at the droids, taking the rest of them out.
You could see Obi-Wan roll his eyes, but he could barely repress his own smile at your comment.
When you were finally out of orbit, you let out a long drawn out breath as you watched the planet fade from view. You said a silent, but gladdened goodbye.
“At least we escape with less injuries this time.” You said as you leaned back in your seat.
He looked over at you and smiled, but looked at your still bloodied clothes. “How is your wound?”
You gently set your hand on your side. “Could be worse.”
Obi-Wan watched you for a moment before tearing his eyes away from you, trying to repress the memories of what happened in the ship the last time you were together alone.
Some time passed in silence, before you voiced your most recent thoughts. “Do you think, once we return, Master Yoda will let me stay?”
Obi-Wan looked over at you, he had not thought about it. “I do not know. But if you want to stay, I will fight for it.”
“Don’t you think that might make him suspicious?” You asked, half joking.
He smiled lightly. “Perhaps. But either way, his plan failed, so he might as well let you stay. ”
You furrowed your brow. “What do you mean his plan failed?” You asked cautiously.
Obi-Wan paused for a moment, uncertain if he should elaborate. Meeting your eyes, he knew the tension between the two of you was still there, and there it would remain.
Turning his seat to face you, he let out a soft breath. “It was Master Yoda’s intention to separate us, so that, perhaps, over time, the feelings that we have would fade. I know not how, or if your feelings have changed. But mine have not. In fact, I think it only made them grow, us being apart, it simply made me think of you more often.”
You were surprised by his words, surprised that he would so openly admit this to you. You swallowed the lump in your throat. “I feel the same.” Your voice was soft and shy as you held his gaze.
Obi-Wan felt the tightness in his chest growing as his eyes scanned your face. His eyes lingered on your lips, and he felt unsure if he could continue to ignore the tension that grew thick between you.
You recalled what happened last time you almost failed to suppress your feelings. You remembered how close he was, his breath against your cheek as he whispered 'If Only’.
Clearing your throat, you tore your gaze from his “I should go rest.” You said as you stood up.
Your breath caught in your throat as he stood as well. You were right in front of each other, chests almost touching. You met his gaze and almost staggered when you realized how close he was. His hands reached out and gently grabbed your arms, steadying you.
Your eyes were locked once again, but unlike before, you seemed unable to find the strength to look away. Obi-Wan’s breath was uneven as he gently held your arms, keeping you there, keeping you close.
He knew he should let go, let you leave, walk away. He should. He needed to.
He couldn’t.
As if the tension between you snapped like a bolt of lighting, your lips met in a rough kiss. His hands wrapped around your waist as he pulled you as close as he could, deepening the kiss as much as he could. Your hands gripped his cloaks tightly as you returned the kiss fervently, your mind blank, as your whole body seemed to tingle.
You felt one of his hands grip the back of your head, burying his fingers in your hair. You moved your arms, wrapping them around his neck as you felt you needed to be closer, but knew you couldn’t possibly be closer than you already were.
You weren’t sure how long you had been kissing before you both seemed to come to your senses. Pulling apart, your breaths heavy and uneven as your eyes burned into each others.
You felt a sense of unease wash over you as you stepped back, out of his arms. “We shouldn’t have done that.” Stepping away again, you regretfully looked away and left the room, heading further into the ship.
Obi-Wan watched you leave, almost going after you, but stopping himself with a reminder of who he was. He let out a long ragged breath as he closed his eyes. The feeling of your lips against his was still present in his mind, and he knew he would not forget it easily.
Sitting back down, he put his head in his hands, shaming himself, knowing that he failed. But no matter how hard he tried, he could not truly feel shame, because he knew he wanted to kiss you, that he did not regret it, as much as he should. And he knew he wanted to kiss you again and again, if only he could, but he couldn’t. This had to be the last time.
You had not spoken to Obi-Wan the rest of the trip. And as you got off the ship, back at the resistance base, side by side, shoulders brushing, you felt his hand graze yours, and thought for a moment he was going to grasp it. But as you saw Anakin and Master Yoda enter the room, you pulled away.
You smiled as Anakin walked up to you. “Hello Anakin.”
Hugging you, he pulled away. “I’m glad you are alright.”
“Returned safely you have. Glad I am.” Master Yoda said.
You looked down at him and bowed your head. “I am glad to be back Master.”
Yoda hummed as he studied you and Obi-Wan before he nodded his head. “Rest you must. Come, come.”
You spared a glance at Obi-Wan before you followed Master Yoda out of the room, beginning to answer questions Anakin began to trow at you.
—————-
Rushing into the room, you saw Obi-Wan nearby. Seeing you enter, he faced you as you approached.
“I heard you are leaving already?” You asked.
Obi-Wan nodded, “Yes. Senator Palpatine has been kidnapped, me and Anakin, have been assigned with his rescue, we are leaving immedietely.”
You nodded your head as you stared past his shoulder. Obi-Wan studied you, seeing that you had a lot you wanted to say. He opened his mouth to speak, but you broke in.
“I have a bad feeling Obi-Wan.” He saw the concern evident in your eyes. “I feel like something very bad is going to happen soon.”
Looking around, he made sure you were alone before he took a small step closer. Gently, he took your hand in his and squeezed it lightly. “I will return soon, and we will continue this fight, together.”
He saw your face fall for a moment before you spoke. “I wont be here Obi-Wan.”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I have talked with Master Yoda. With everything going on, we need to be vigilant, the Jedi will be spreading out along the galaxy, to prepare for anything that might happen.”
“He is sending you away again?” He asked, his emotion rising.
“I volunteered.” You admitted, and you saw surprise cross his face.
“It’s better this way. I’m too much of a distraction, especially now.”
His chest grew tight, as pulled you closer, he spoke softly. “Where will you go?”
You shook your head. “I don’t know yet.” You lied.
He let out a soft breath. “I will see you again. When this is all over.”
You met his gaze, and felt yourself unable to hold back your emotion. You wrapped your arms around him in a hug. He hesitated for a moment, before he wrapped his own arms around you.
“Be careful.” You whispered.
“And you.” He replied.
Pulling away, you moved to step away, but he grabbed your hand. You saw him fighting between his emotions before he stepped closer to you. His face was close to yours, lips almost brushing. Bringing his hand up he gently caressed your cheek. You closed your eyes and let out a soft breath.
Your heart seemed to stop, as you felt his lips gently press against yours in a soft kiss, that ended almost as fast as it had begun.
When he pulled away, you opened your eyes, and met his equally emotional gaze. Grabbing his hand, you pressed something within his fist. “Don’t forget who you are Obi-Wan.” You said, repeating words he had once told you.
He frowned slightly as you let go of his hand. Stepping back, you looked at him one more time before you turned and walked away, fighting tears that threatened to spill. You pushed away the intrusive thought in the back of your mind, telling you, that this was the last time you would ever see Obi-Wan Kenobi.
He watched you disappear with an aching heart. Looking down at his hand, his breath caught in his throat as he stared down at the pendant. The one he had given you before you left for your mission months before.
Looking up, he felt an overwhelming urge to chase after you, but as the doors slid open and Anakin entered, he knew he was too late.
If only he had one more chance to tell you how he felt.
If only this was not the last time he would see you for what would feel like, a very long time.
xx End xx
So this is ending where Episode III begins.
