enough about the good things in wwx’s life, remember that time we were told how the burial mounds is nothing but a mountain of corpses where nothing living survives and wwx still lived there for 3 months and then when asked if food planted in that soil is edible he answered “when starving, people will eat anything” and didn’t elaborate? was that messed up or what
Hey, here’s a fun new game. Put “” or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I’ll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven’t written but daydream about.
no bc this video has me in TEARS it looks like a sketch or a bit or a fucking tiktok but no that woman is legitimately fighting for her life while this bitch records some socmed segment for a ski resort
So there’s this plastic turtle we have outside our school that tells cars to slow down. My kids have always asked me why I don’t have a husband, and I got tired of telling them because I didn’t want one, so I pointed to him and said, “That dude. That’s my husband.”
This has been a running joke for two years now. All the kids know the plastic turtle outside the school is my husband. He doesn’t have a name, just Miss Cat’s husband.
Today was really windy, and the turtle dude fell over. I was taking a kid out to his mom, and he saw it on the ground and went, “Oh look, your husband died.”
So I said, “Oh darn. Looks like I’m single again.”
And without skipping a beat, he goes, “I’ll be your husband.”
Mom is standing there trying not to laugh as I got down on my knees, took the kid’s hands in mine, and said, “Thanks for the offer, bud, but no thank you. We’ll just pick that guy up so he can start being my husband again.”
So the kid runs over, picks the turtle up, and goes “Good morning, husband! You’re not dead anymore. Good job.”
so yesterday (april fools day) my friend in a group call was like “hey my gf (another mutual friend) is pregnant and actually has been for five months but we didn’t know. and we’re having the baby in July” and everyone i know was collectively like “haha yeah fuck you” and then he started pulling out dated ultrasounds with his gf’s name on them and stuff and the correct weight/size for a five month old baby and we were like “wow you put a lot of work into this” and then he got his gf on the call and she was like “yup i don’t really look pregnant but i am!” and we were like haha wow you’re both really going for it huh.
anyway april fools day ended and we were like hey dude that was a good one and he was like no it’s for real i just thought it would be very funny to tell you on april fools day
the concept of characters being turned into something monstrous and destined for evil but still CHOOSING to be good and to do good for as long as possible is a good trope. the best trope possibly.
Florence Welch invoking the name of Elvis, Florence Welch calling on Christ, Florence Welch fixin to fight God, Florence Welch making herself a god, Florence Welch making herself a prophet, Florence Welch making herself your demon, Florence Welch making herself the devil, Florence Welch making herself myth.
