#inaccurateloz

Midna: Tonight’s mood is making out. I want a tongue in my mouth right fucking now.

Zelda: Well have I got some news for you.

Riju: I need you to come meet me, and I need you to come alone.

Link: I need you to be less vague and less weird.

Link, pointing at Midna: What’s with this sassy… Lost child?

Buliara: Riju is at that age where a young girl only has one thing on her mind.

Link:Boys?

Riju:Homicide.

Link: Is there a word that’s a mix between sad and mad?

Zelda: Malcontent, disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Midna:Smad.

Dorephan: How’s Link?

Sidon: Well last week he was supposed to get flint but he came home with novelty cookie cutters.

Sidon: Now everything we eat is shaped like divine beasts.

Sidon, fondly:He’s amazing. I love him.

Medli, jumping from around a corner:AAH!!

Komali: [ SCREAMS ]

Komali: STAAAHP I coulda dropped my croissant!!

Zelda: The love you two have for each other is wonderful. I wish I had a sibling.

Sidon: [ smiles ]

Mipha: I’ll sell him to you.

Mipha: Cheap.

Ganondorf: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for 4-5 seconds.

Zant: 45 SECONDS?!

Ganondorf: NO!! 4 TO 5 SECONDS!!!

Link: I know I’ve said it a million times before, Tetra, but this time I mean it! I am going to KILL Ganondorf!

Tetra: I’m so tired of you not including me when it comes to parenting.

Tetra: WE are going to kill Ganondorf.

Zelda: This will pass. She’ll eventually just burn herself out.

Midna: THAT’S WHAT YOU THINK! I’M AN ETERNAL FLAME, BABY!

Red: I made you this friendship bracelet.

Blue: I’m not really a jewelry person.

Red: You don’t have to wear it…

Blue: No, I’m going to wear it forever. Back off.

Tetra: Link and I have this kind of chemistry where we finish each other’s s-

Link:-sentences.

Tetra: Don’t interrupt me.

Midna: Even going to the bank can be exciting, if you wear a ski mask.

Vaati: Who the fuck are you?

CoH Conductor: Who the fuck are you?

Vaati: I asked you first.

CoH Conductor: I asked you second.

Zelda: Help me with this crossword puzzle. What’s a 4 letter word for disappointment?

Revali:Link.

Zelda: It fits.

Purah: Hey, Zelda. What’s going on?

Zelda: Teenage rebellion.

Purah: Fuck yeah! Stick it to the old people!

Link: I’m Link, we met yesterday?

Zant: Oh yeah, I remember you! The guy with the imp?

Link: Right.

Zant: And the wolf form?

Link: (pulls out his sword) Right.

Zant: …And the sword?

Link: Right.

Zant: Why are you pointing a sword at me, Link?

Link: I’ve figured out why you’re so depressed. You have updog.

Ganondorf: What’s updog?

Link: TETRA GET IN HERE I TOLD YOU I COULD DO IT

Link: So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes, or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

Zelda: Link, nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES

Link: FLOOR IT?!

Zelda: LINK NO

Link: HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND

Zelda: LINK YOU’RE GOING TO BURN THE CASTLE DOWN

Link: I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE THESE COOKIES

Zelda:LINK PLEASE