#incorrect 911 quotes
let’s discuss
Hen: y'all ever just… try to do basic math in your head and your brain blue screens?
Buck: my brain shuts off the mere second it realizes math will be involved
Bobby: can someone please tell me where my son is? I’ve lost him and I cannot find him.
Officer: sir can I have a description on your child
Bobby: well first off, he’s almost 30
Eddie: What am I looking at?
Buck: Proof that I’m not lying.
Eddie: *stubbornly looks away* When did you put a camera in our room?
Buck: Last week. For this reason. You do it every night. Look, here’s Monday, and here’s Tuesday, and Wednesday, and–
Eddie: Okay, Buck. Enough. I get your point.
Buck: So when are we going to properly address your serial cuddling?
Eddie: That’s not cuddling. That’s clinging so that I don’t fall off my side of the bed.
Buck: Our bed is more than big enough for the two of us.
Eddie: What do you want me to say? Sorry for cuddling my boyfriend?
Buck: No! Of course not, Eds. I love that you can’t seem to help spooning me in your sleep.
Eddie: So what are we doing here?
Buck: I just want you to acknowledge that I’m not crazy, that’s all.
Eddie: You’re insufferable. Sometimes. But, no, you’re not crazy.
Buck: *pumps the air* Totally worth the 300 dollars for the camera.
Eddie: Where IS the camera?
Buck: Ah… Well, you know that teddy that Christopher bought me?
Eddie: Yeah…
Buck: He may not have bought it at all.
Eddie: Then we’re getting rid of it. That thing is monstrous.
Buck: Hey! Mr Bobbins is cool. Don’t be mean.
Eddie: Hope you didn’t get too attached.
Buck: I’ll save you Mr Bobbins!
Eddie: No, you won’t. Get back here!
What if She was Him?
Buck: Taylor, I–I should'a told you this last night. I didn’t because… I… You looked in pain before I even said anything.
Taylor: So tell me. Let me decide if I was right to feel hurt.
Buck: I made a mistake.
Taylor: *takes a breath* It was Eddie, wasn’t it?
Buck:Wha–no. Eddie wasn’t even there. We thought he bailed on us but turns out he was there, just didn’t join us.
Taylor: If not Eddie, who?
Buck: Why you bringin’ up Eddie, anyway?
Taylor: Are you really asking me that? Nevermind. Tell me what happened.
Buck: Tay–
Taylor: Don’t. Just tell me what happened, Buck.
Buck: A firefighter… She assisted us during a bomb threat, and she was cool, so we invited her out for drinks. We drank a lot, we talked, and then…
Taylor: Then?
Buck: She kissed me.
Taylor: How long did you kiss her for before you remembered you have a girlfriend?
Buck: *swallows* Long enough to feel guilty about it. I should'a backed off, told her I had you–Taylor, I’m so sorry.
Taylor: I believe you, Buck.
Buck: You do?
Taylor: Yes. I believe that you’re sorry you hurt me. I don’t believe you’re sorry for doing it.
Buck: …
Taylor: I’m gonna go. I need some time to think.
Buck: Wait–Taylor, please, it was just a stupid druken mistake–
Taylor: No, it wasn’t. It was you looking for a way out that didin’t involve you telling me outright that you weren’t in this from the beginning.
Buck: Taylor, that’s not true. I promise it won’t–
Taylor: Do something for me, Buck. Picture the same scenario, but this time think about Eddie waiting at home for you.
Buck: …
Taylor: Does it end the same way?
Buck: *looks at the floor* Taylor…
Taylor: No, you know what? It’s fine. I was sick of playing second fidel to him anyway. Do yourselves a favor and pull your heads out of your asses so that you stop hurting others in the process.
Buck: What am I afraid of?
Taylor: *closes eyes, inhales slowly, let’s it out* The same thing I presume he is.
Buck: *pleading*
Taylor: The risk of losing the best thing that’s ever happened to you.
I mean this is what happened right?
Buck: Our only help right now is this kind, selfless, amazing nerd.
Eddie: Do you have to call me a nerd so much?
Buck: I said a lot of other nice things, okay? Toughen up, nerd.
Bobby: Just…be yourself.
Buck: “Be myself”? Bobby, this is Eddie’s father and I have one day to win him over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?
Bobby: Right away.
Ravi: Two weeks.
Hen: Six months.
Chimney: Jury is still out.
Buck: See? “Be myself”? What kind of garbage advice it that?
Eddie: Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.
Buck: How can you say that?
Eddie: Because sometimes when things get tough, denial is all we have.
Albert: when I was in like 6th grade, this girl on my bus told me she had a secret to tell me. she took a deep breath and was like “im bisexual” and I was just like okay and then she started crying and hugged me because she was afraid nobody would accept her but I really just didn’t know what bisexual meant
Chris: If I’ve learned anything from video games,it is that when you meant enemies, it means you are going in the right direction.
Buck: *in amazement* that’s really inspiring
Chim: hey!! you guys heard the news???
Everyone: what news??
Chim: Buck and Taylor broke up, so be a little gentle on him— Eddie where did you come from?
Eddie: *panting, sweating* I’m here to work again
Hen: did you… run here?
Eddie: don’t be ridiculous
Eddie: I jogged
Bobby: can someone please tell me where my son is? I’ve lost him and I cannot find him.
Officer: sir can I have a description on your child
Bobby: well first off, he’s almost 30
May: I just don’t know if she likes me, you know? Sometimes it just feels like we’re moving towards something and then we take 20 steps back to just being friends or whatever we were.
Eddie:…
May: Can you please say something? you’re making me nervous.
Eddie: This whole conversation feels a bit too real to me and it’s making ME nervous
Bobby: I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious
eddie: I wish my metabolism burned as fast as my anxiety
buck:why?
eddie: because then I’d be a supermodel
buck:
buck: eddie you literally have abs—
Bobby: you know… im starting to regret showing you how a blender works.
Buck, drinking toast: why do you say that?
bobby: you’re going to stop yourself from finding something real… something that you want.
eddie: … you’re right *goes on a date with ana*
bobby: that’s not what I fucking meant—
Bobby: I’m concerned abt you, let’s take some time before you come back to the 118 to make sure you’re ok
Buck and eddie: you… you don’t want firefighter son? you hate firefighter son now? oh! Oh! jail for captain dad! jail for captain dad for one thousand years!!!
