#incorrect acotar
Rhysand: What are you doing?
Cassian: Working on an eulogy for my funeral.
Rhysand: Do I want to know why?
Cassian: I accidentally spilled gravy over Truth-Teller when Az left it in the dining room…
Rhysand:…
Rhysand, grabbing a pencil and sitting beside him: So are you trying to make it rhyme or do you have a different style in mind?
Cassian: I didn’t know how to say this before, but I think I’m in love with Nesta.
Rhysand: Nesta? As in Feyre’s older sister?
Cassian: Yeah. Thoughts?
Azriel: And prayers.
Elain: Before we do this, what’s your body count?
Azriel, looks around before whispering: I’ve actually lost count by now…
Elain, offering a kind smile: Why are you whispering? Having sex with so many people is nothing to be ashamed of.
Azriel:…
Azriel: Having sex?
Cassian: I didn’t know how to say this before, but I think I’m in love with Nesta.
Rhysand: Nesta? As in Feyre’s older sister?
Cassian: Yeah. Thoughts?
Azriel: And prayers.
Rhys: I’m gonna have to punish you. I’m grounding you. You are grounded.
Azriel: What about my spying?
Rhys: Fine, other than that. And no socializing with the Inner Circle.
Azriel: I’m a loner.
Azriel, under his breath: Cassian and the Valkyries are better friends, anyways.
Rhys: Then, I’ll take your books.
Azriel: I need my books for my spymastering.
Rhys: Fine! Then.. no…
Rhys: *deep thinking* No stabbing.
Azriel: What?! nO stAbBinG?!
Rhys: NO STABBING.
Azriel : *sighs* Fine, I’ll just have Gwyn do my stabbing.
Gwyn : DID SOMEONE SAY MY NAME AND STABBING IN THE SAME SENTENCE?!! WHO ARE WE KILLING? MULTIPLE PEOPLE? LEMME GO GET MY PEGUSUS KNIFE-
Azriel : *swoons* that’s my girl
Rhys : Oh good lord-
Feyre : What’s gonna happen to our enemies-
Rhys : We gotta pray for them. She’s a menace.
ACOTAR characters as random tumblr posts
Rhysand
Feyre
Nesta
Cassian
Azriel
Gwyn
Emerie
Eris
Elain
Lucien
Nesta: *carrying all the groceries*
Cassian: *holds out a hand to help*
Nesta: *aggressively moves all the groceries to one hand*
Nesta: *holds Cassian’s hand instead*
Cassian: Nobody is perfect.
Azriel:*smiles*
Cassian: One person is perfect.
Therapist: Hello Azriel! Let’s start with an easy one: how would you describe yourself?
Azriel: Vaguely broody. Deeply unsettling.
Cassian: *noises of protest*
Rhys: I mean… he’s not wrong.
Cassian:*scoffs*
Cassian: Azriel is brave, super smart, and devilishly handsome. He has so much capacity for love.
Azriel: Physically? I’m keeping it together.
Azriel: But on the inside?
Azriel: *eye twitches*
Azriel *whispering*: Things are not going well.
Azriel: For too long, I have been existing in a constant state of “meh”
Azriel: But no longer!
Azriel: Starting tomorrow, I am changing my ways.
Azriel: I will now be living in a state of “eh”
Gwyn: You can change the world!
Azriel: I can change the world!
Gwyn: You can be a leader!
Azriel: I can be a leader!
Gwyn: You can be my boyfriend!
Azriel: I can be your boyfrie—
Azriel: …
Gwyn: You said it.
Azriel: Hmm. What’s this feeling I have?
Cassian:Joy…?
Azriel: Joy. I have to do this more often.
Azriel: If you want something, you’re going to have to fight for it!
Gwyn: I just want my breakfast, you asshole. Give it.
Azriel: No! *holds muffin further away*
Gwyn, bursting into room: CARPE DIEM!
Gwyn: IT’S TIME TO SEIZE THE DAY.
Gwyn: LETS GO BESTIES!
Nesta: It. is. 6am.
Emerie:This one is on you today.
Azriel, sighing but secretly smiling: I got this.
Azriel: Wow. Well, thanks for doing absolutely nothing on this mission.
Rhys: Yup. No problem.
Cassian: Any time, Azzy.
Azriel:You guys are insufferable.
Gwyn: *sleeping peacefully besides Az*
Az: nice
Gwyn: *still sleeping, gets close and cuddles Az*
Az,tearing up: n-nice
Cassian: There’s something weird going on with your face.
Azriel:What?
Cassian: You’re smiling
Cassian: I didn’t even know you could do that anymore
Nesta, to Azriel and Gwyn: You’re both enabling each other’s misery because you are incapable of accepting that you deserve to be loved and happy.
Nesta: You’re perfect for each other.
Nesta: You’re just too afraid to admit it.
Azriel:
Gwyn:
Nesta: Now, get out of here and go bang each other until you can’t walk or I swear I will lock you in the room myself.
*Manifesting*
Azriel: *is a broody to everyone but Gwyn*
Azriel: *protective & jealous*
Azriel: *laughs and snorts after a Gwyn joke*
Azriel: “My beautiful, beautiful, Berdara”
Azriel: *banging cup on the table out of aggression*
Gwyn: Hey, don’t be mean to the cup. How would you like it if I banged you on the dining table?
Azriel:…
Nobody:
Not a single soul:
Azriel: Welcome back to another episode of “Saying I’m Tired as an Excuse to Get Out of Anything and Everything”
Gwyn: Pro’s of Illyrian leathers: Abs and ass.
Nesta: Con’s of Illyrian leathers: Heightened levels of douchey.
Azriel & Cassian:Hey!
*Bat Boys Sleepover*
Cassian:Are you guys afraid of anything?
Azriel: Being unworthy of love
Cassian: Losing everyone I love
Rhys: Some of Feyre paintings
Rhys: Oh uh. That was uh… not uh- yeah I’ll change my answer
Gwyn: I don’t know how many cookies it takes to be happy, but so far it’s not 28.
Gwyn: Guess what? I have flaws! What are they? Oh, I don’t know. I sing in the shower.
Gwyn: Sometimes, I volunteer too much.
Gwyn: Occasionally, I will throw a knife at someone.
Gwyn: I’m not perfect!
