#incorrect one piece quotes
A cook: Auuuuu Jus
Sanji: More like “au water”
Carrot: We’ve got a naked turnover over here
Nami: Mood. I’m a naked turnover
Sanji, trying to dip chicken in sauce: Where are the tongs?
Some other cook: I don’t know
Sanji: What? What have you been doing all day then? You’re just dunking it in like fucking Achilles?
The codpiece stays ON during sex
- Franky
Franky: Cover your whole body in codpieces
Usopp: Codpiece man
Who’s losing less?
- Usopp to Sanji & Zoro
I simply parried his flesh away
- X Drake
It’s a sword hickey
- Zoro
Sorry Usopp, sorry about your wenis
- Zoro after hitting Usopp in the elbow
I’m all for beheading some motherfuckers but don’t burn the books
- Robin
A sour gentleman
- Chopper, seeing a lemon
Drake and Hawkins: *about to spar*
Drake: Your sword is so thick. This is a new blade, Hawkins
Hawkins, holding up his own sword: So it this
Drake: I don’t want to smash it on the first day!
Zoro and Sanji:*sparring*
*something strange happens*
Zoro, heard across the whole deck: That was weeeeeird
Nami: Let’s all critique Zoro
Sanji: Fuck you, Zoro!
It was like god. That manatee was god
- Usopp
Mihawk: If you have insomnia, just do cutting drills until you collapse
Zoro: The way I fixed it was I drank until I fell asleep
Mihawk:No
Usopp: Why does this milk expire in two months? What’s in it??
Franky: Not milk!
If they don’t want to be made fun of, they can simply not do something weird
- Zoro
Chopper: *checks on how much flour is left*
Chopper: Oh no… come see
Sanji: Am I going to scream? Really loud?
Chopper:Yeah
Sanji:*looks*
Sanji:Fuuuuuuuuuck!
Luffy reterning to Marine Ford after the war of the best.
Kid: “im sure hes just doing this to up his bounty”
Other pirates: “its so he keeps his image”
Luffy: “some old guy said it would be a good idea”
Rookie pirates going into the new world:
Me: Thease arigent idiots are going in head first into a world they cant even imagine. At least Law and Luffy are smart enough to - wait hold on
LAW i smart enough to wait.
Someone points a gun at brook
Me: “dude- the only way a bullet would work would be if they had skin and orgons- what are you? And idiot?”
Sanji: Zoro told you to stay in bed.
Chopper: there’s a scary monster in the closet.
Sanji: scarier than Zoro?
Chopper: *goes to bed*
Zoro: Sanji, I never meant to hurt you. Whenever you’re hurt I feel awful, it’s the worst, I hate it.
Sanji: Wow, it’s amazing, you’ve managed to make even empathy selfish.
Sanji : If you don’t stop talking, I’m going to jump out of that window.
Zoro: …We’re on the ground floor.
Sanji : I know but I want a dramatic exit.
Sanji: I’m dying.
Zoro: It’s just morning sickness.
Sanji: You’re to blame for everything! You put this baby in my womb!
Zoro: But you wanted!
Sanji: I was drunk and horny, obviously I wasn’t thinking, what’s your excuse?
Robin:…
Robin: … Should we tell them?
Nami: Not fucking way
Sanji: You wake up one day with the ability to freeze time for as long as you want with no repercussions. What’s the first thing you do with your newfound power?
Zoro: take a nap
Sanji: you just woke up
Zoro: take a nap
Sanji: This is so good. The sauce is creamy. Reminds me of last night with Zoro
Usopp: …and that’s the end of my Fettuccine Alfredo night
Zoro: Hello.
Sanji: Where the fuck have you been?
Zoro: Asleep.
Sanji: For two days?!
Zoro to Sanji: remember to take care of yourself *affectionate*
Zoro to his enemies: take care of yourself *derogatory*
Sanji: Does this mean we’re friends again?
Zoro: No! We’re not friends!
Zoro:
Zoro: We’re dating
Sanji: That was terrifying! Don’t pause like that!
Chopper: I’m going to my first job, any hot tips?
Sanji: Yes! Lie for fun. Don’t start drama, but make sure you escalate it.
Sanji: I made you a flower crown
Zoro: I don’t like flowers.
Sanji: Oh, I guess I’ll give it to Law then-
Zoro: No. Put it on me.
*Zoro finds Sanji staring at a dead body*
Zoro: alright, let me call Nami
Sanji: I already called 911
Zoro: you called the police before you called me?!
Sanji: I’m supposed to call you first when I find a dean body?!
Zoro: yEs!
Good old neighbor Roronoa Zoro
Zoro*scream*: WHAT’S YOUR NAME?
Sanji: What?
Zoro *scream louder * WHAT IS YOU NAME?
Sanji: Sanji
Zoro: FUCK YOU SANJI *go back to his house*
Sanji *arguing*: I don’t understand, Vinsmokes is MY business, not yours. Why you put yourself in danger again?
Zoro *screaming* BECAUSE I LOVE YOU
Zoro: I just want you to know that I love your brother very much.
Reiju: You do?
Zoro: Yes.
Reiju: Really?
Zoro: Yes.
Reiju:
Reiju: May I ask why?
Zoro: Any news?
Sanji: Just waiting on your x-ray
Zoro: But I’ve never dated anyone named Ray?
Sanji: ….And we might do a brain scan
The police officer: Can you describe the person who shot you?
Sanji: She seemed mad.
Zoro: So, she is already met you
