#indian songs
तू जहाँ जहाँ चलेगा
मेरा साया साथ होगा
मेरा साया साथ होगा…कभी मुझको याद करके, जो बहेंगे तेरे आँसू
तो वहीं पे रोक लेंगे, उन्हें आ के मेरे आँसूमैं अगर बिछड़ भी जाऊँ, कभी मेरा ग़म न करना
मेरा प्यार याद करके, कभी आँख नम न करनातू कोई जनम भी लेगा
मेरा साया साथ होगा…
I would have opened this letter with a ‘dear’, however I wondered for a long time if it would indeed be a correct way for me to address you, after all this time. A lifetime seems to have passed between that evening of 1952 and now, sometimes even making me feel that I have slept through the last 30 years. I would often look at faces of my children and grandchildren, wondering if I am stuck in some never ending dream from which I might wake up any minute now. My hair has greyed in the fringes of my temple and forehead, my smile is showing signs of wrinkle and my fingers feel heavy. It’s not a terrible feeling, I enjoy my experiences most of the time, but sometimes my body feels like it is living the life of someone else. And that in a different timeline I am still there playing with you behind that tree. Is it still there? I was so sure I will forget everything, you, those lanes, that house and all else. Are you also there? Do you also, like me, go to sleep in the expectation of reliving our lives till 16 years of age again and again, like listening to a record on loop or going to see one particular cinema multiple times? If you are coming back from there, can you accompany me back to myself as well please?
This night seems to be taking all away from me again. The moon is cruel.
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रजनीगंधा फूल तुम्हारे , मेहेके यूँ ही जीवन में यूँ ही मेहेके प्रीत पिया की मेरे अनुरागी मन में
Your tuberose flowers for no reason emit aroma in my existence. And for no reason effuse my mate’s love in my devoted consciousness.
Hi. I am writing this in the middle of the night, more as a sort of remembrance for myself than as something for you. Chances are you might never see this letter, even though it is addressed to you. Today when I was waiting near the railway station for you, I made a sudden observation. I was restless. I was pushing my two thumbs together, slightly shaking my knee and glancing left and right. Then suddenly, when I was staring at the small chai stall near the station for a long time, it suddenly hit me that I was restless. Restless looking for you, if you had come, if you were coming, from which direction you were coming, what kind of expression were you carrying on your face and many other such questions. It struck me as a bit odd, at first. I am not used to feeling like this. I live an ordinary life, an ordinary home, an ordinary existence. People like us have very less to feel restless about. But, it’s nice, feels very…human. I smile more these days too. Do not mistake my smiles as frivolous, they are every bit as sincere as yours. Today this realization has made my heart feel full, like I do after a good meal made by my mother. Today’s meal for my heart has been your gift. Thank you.
Photographs from: Rajnigandha (1974), Basu Chatterjee
Duniyaa Ne Ham Ko Diya Kya, Duniyaa Se Ham Ne Liyaa Kya. Ham Sab Ki Paravaah Karen Kyun, Sab Ne Hamara Kiya Kya
I remember watching Haré Rama Haré Krishna (1971) when I was a little over 10. And Janice played by Zeenat Aman was my most favorite character in the whole film. A young girl torn apart from her beloved brother, her only support system in a household riff with domestic violence and extra marital affairs and feuds between the elders who were her parents, Janice for me was my relatable character at a time when I was witnessing feuds in my own home and did not even have the mental capacity to understand it. I understood her, I did not even know what being a Hippie even meant, and yet I understood her. The desire to run away, not just from your torn household but also yourself still haunts me sometimes even though my situation has improved by a 180° degree these past years. She wasn’t able to find her self and by the time she realized the true identity of her brother Prashant, knowing he had witnessed her rock bottom, her most shameless yet shameful self, her complete inability to empathise with the “normal world” her brother belonged to, her depression, it was late. Too late. I understood her. Even though I am now doing better now than I ever thought I would, I sometimes wonder what would I have done if I were her. Would I have been able to bear through it all? Am I strong enough? To all the Janice girls out there, it does get better, have hope. I wish you all the best.
Made a playlist which basically (and hopefully) has Semi Classical songs that’ll make you feelgood and also have some element of vastness in them (coz these are the songs I would listen to while gazing at some beautiful monument)
Mentioned only Agra, Mathura and Rajasthan coz that’s the places I have been to most recently (in terms of places with beautiful historical monuments)
Also, I LOVE “A suitable boy” ’s cinematography, background music, aesthetics and of course TANYA MANIKTALA❤
