#ineffable idiots
[credit to artist]
Top 10 most unsuspicious ways to invite your crush for a date, Aziraphale edition
#GoodOmens
Crowley: I don’t do “Love”. Love is for fools
Aziraphale:Hello
Crowley:
Crowley:Fuck
Anathema: So how is your life going Crowley?
Crowley: I don’t know let me ask him
Crowley: AZIRAPHALE HOW ARE YOU?
Aziraphale: I am very well, thanks!
Crowley: Yeah looks like my life is very well
Crowley: Ughh, last night I couldn’t sleep
Anathema: You know what they say, if you can’t sleep it’s because someone is thinking about you
Crowley: Yeah? But who the fuck would think about me at 3 a.m.?!
Aziraphale: *silenced gay panic*
Newt: Why is crowley laying face down on the Table?
Anathema: Aziraphale kissed him on the cheek for saving him the last crêpes
Aziraphale:*exists*
Crowley: I didn’t know the earth had two suns
Aziraphale:Crowley?
Crowley: Yes Angel?
Aziraphale: A fyddwch yn priodi mi?
Crowley: I don’t know what this is but yes?
Aziraphale: *happy as he could be*
*“A fyddwch yn priodi mi?” Means “will you marry me?” in welsh (according to google translator) :)
Aziraphale: *notices that crowley has been in the bathroom for 2 hours*
Aziraphale: *knocking on the door* Hey Crowley, are you okay?
Crowley: *panicking, not wanting anyone to know he’s been crying* uMm yEs i jUsT fEel a LiTtLe sIck
Aziraphale: Treat cockroaches the way you want to be treated
Crowley: Killed without hesitation
Aziraphale: Crowley noooo
Aziraphale: You made a fancy Breakfast for me? Ohh thank you
Crowley: Yeah, there is actually a surprise in your egg
Aziraphale: [Opens egg an get a note out] Ohhh “I love you”
Aziraphale: How cute, I love you too egg!
Crowley:
Hastur: Why are you looking at me through a fork?
Crowley: I’m pretending you’re in jail
Hastur:Why?
Crowley: Spiritually healing
Crowley: I’m going to sing a song for you
Aziraphale:Ok
Crowley: It’s called “My life so far”
Aziraphale:
Crowley: *inhales and plays a chord*
Crowley:*SCREEEAMMSSS*
Crowley:Aziraphale?
Aziraphale:Yes?
Crowley: Do you want to see a butterfly?
Aziraphale:Yes!
Crowley:[throws butter across the room]
Aziraphale: What the-
Anathema: Hey Aziraphale, are you free on Friday? Like, around 8 pm?
Aziraphale: Yes, I am.
Anathema: And you Crowley?
Crowley: Umm yes?
Anathema: Great! Because I’m not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!
Crowley: Did she just-
Adam: Is there a word that’s a mix between angry and sad?
Aziraphale: Malcontent, disgruntled, miserable
Crowley:Smad
Crowley: You have a face.
Aziraphale: Yes, I do.
Crowley: I mean nice. You have a nice face.
Aziraphale: Thanks I think.
Crowley: Please accept my attempt at flirting. I don’t know what I’m doing.
Crowley: Do i look straight?
Aziraphale: Not in the slightest
Crowley: No, i mean my parking job
Aziraphale: Oh, in that Case yes
The Them, banging on the door: Crowley open up!
Crowley: Well, it all started when i fell…
Newt: No, they meant-
Aziraphale: Let him finish.
