Crowley: Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you wonderful clothes

Aziraphale: Do clothes make you happy?

Crowley: The clothes mask my internal emotional mess

Crowley: In an incredibly stylish way

Aziraphale: Crowley noo

Aziraphale: The food is too hot, I can’t eat it

Crowley: You’re hot too and i still eat you

Aziraphale:*blushes*

Crowley: *winks at him*

The Rest at the table: What the-

Crowley: I don’t do “Love”. Love is for fools

Aziraphale:Hello

Crowley:

Crowley:Fuck

Anathema: So how is your life going Crowley?

Crowley: I don’t know let me ask him

Crowley: AZIRAPHALE HOW ARE YOU?

Aziraphale: I am very well, thanks!

Crowley: Yeah looks like my life is very well

Crowley: Ughh, last night I couldn’t sleep

Anathema: You know what they say, if you can’t sleep it’s because someone is thinking about you

Crowley: Yeah? But who the fuck would think about me at 3 a.m.?!

Aziraphale: *silenced gay panic*

Crowley: Old people at Weddings always poke me and say “you’re next”

Crowley: They say it’s a tradition

Crowley: So I started doing the same thing at funerals

Newt: Why is crowley laying face down on the Table?

Anathema: Aziraphale kissed him on the cheek for saving him the last crêpes

Aziraphale:*exists*

Crowley: I didn’t know the earth had two suns

Aziraphale:Crowley?

Crowley: Yes Angel?

Aziraphale: A fyddwch yn priodi mi?

Crowley: I don’t know what this is but yes?

Aziraphale: *happy as he could be*

*“A fyddwch yn priodi mi?” Means “will you marry me?” in welsh (according to google translator) :)

Aziraphale: *notices that crowley has been in the bathroom for 2 hours*

Aziraphale: *knocking on the door* Hey Crowley, are you okay?

Crowley: *panicking, not wanting anyone to know he’s been crying* uMm yEs i jUsT fEel a LiTtLe sIck

Aziraphale: Treat cockroaches the way you want to be treated

Crowley: Killed without hesitation

Aziraphale: Crowley noooo

Aziraphale: You made a fancy Breakfast for me? Ohh thank you

Crowley: Yeah, there is actually a surprise in your egg

Aziraphale: [Opens egg an get a note out] Ohhh “I love you”

Aziraphale: How cute, I love you too egg!

Crowley:

Crowley: *writes something*

Aziraphale: What’s this?

Crowley: It’s my to-do list

Aziraphale: But there is only my name on it?

Crowley:Exactly

Hastur: Why are you looking at me through a fork?

Crowley: I’m pretending you’re in jail

Hastur:Why?

Crowley: Spiritually healing

Crowley: I’m going to sing a song for you

Aziraphale:Ok

Crowley: It’s called “My life so far”

Aziraphale:

Crowley: *inhales and plays a chord*

Crowley:*SCREEEAMMSSS*

Crowley:Aziraphale?

Aziraphale:Yes?

Crowley: Do you want to see a butterfly?

Aziraphale:Yes!

Crowley:[throws butter across the room]

Aziraphale: What the-

Anathema: Hey Aziraphale, are you free on Friday? Like, around 8 pm?

Aziraphale: Yes, I am.

Anathema: And you Crowley?

Crowley: Umm yes?

Anathema: Great! Because I’m not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!

Crowley: Did she just-

Adam: Is there a word that’s a mix between angry and sad?

Aziraphale: Malcontent, disgruntled, miserable

Crowley:Smad

Crowley: When i become a spy i’m gonna be agent c

Crowley: tell everyone i’m spy-c

Crowley: You have a face.

Aziraphale: Yes, I do.

Crowley: I mean nice. You have a nice face.

Aziraphale: Thanks I think.

Crowley: Please accept my attempt at flirting. I don’t know what I’m doing.

Crowley: Do i look straight?

Aziraphale: Not in the slightest

Crowley: No, i mean my parking job

Aziraphale: Oh, in that Case yes

The Them, banging on the door: Crowley open up!

Crowley: Well, it all started when i fell…

Newt: No, they meant-

Aziraphale: Let him finish.

I’m running out the of ideas so Re-blog this post by describing gomens in the worst way possible

Anathema: you know who I love?

Newt: *blushing* who?

Anathema: Aziraphale and Crowley! Oh my God. I ship them SO much :)

Newt: *visibly destressed*

Ok, hear me out

What if Aziraphale bought a pet snek to keep him company when Crowley wasn’t there? He would get really attateched to it , and then when Crowley WAS there he’d get jealous of the snake.

Good omens x Queen Headcannons

• Freddie and Crowley become BFFs (ObViOuSLaY)
• Aziraphale is friends with Deaky (softies)
• Deaky teaches Zir some cool new moves B)
• Brian is silently judging as Crowley and Freddie do crackhead things
• Aziraphale is intimidated by Rog
• Crowley makes fun of Rog for IILWMC
• Bri grows on Zir after he shows him some animals (Bob ross of guitar )
• Crowley paints his fingernails on one hand black and white on one hand for Zir like Bri and Freddie would do
• Freddie brings Crowley on stage and he sings terribly into the microphone
• Deaky shows Aziraphale his favorite cheese toest recipe, and Aziraphale gives him his favorite crepe recipe
• Roger brings home girls and Aziraphale gets scared so he :0 shares a bed with Crowley
• Aziraphale gets drunk and flirts with Deaky (Crowley is very maddened)
• Rog says Crowley is in love with his Bently
• They form the car fuckers club
• Aziraphale gets mad at the Bentley
• All the queen members love that Bently only plays queen
• Freddie teaches Zir some piano, and they listen to opera together
• Brian teaches Crowley how to play the electric guitar
• Crowley almost murders pa*l pr*nter
• Aziraphale and Deaky hug a lot
• Freddie and Crowley giggle about them being two cinnamon rolls hugging (teehee)
• Crowley gets everyone (except bri) to play a game where they all have to secretly put something in Bri’s hair and see if he notices
• Freddie lets Crowley have some of his clothes
• Aziraphale tries to put on a magic show for them and fails
• Aziraphale finds car magazines in Rog’s bathroom

OH MY GOD

So, you know how Crowley has a silver snake belt? Well, what if Aziraphale had a matching black one but it wasn’t actually a belt, it was Crowley in his snake form? Then Aziraphale could sneak him arround when they weren’t supposed to be meeting and Crowley could get into movies for free :D

I made Shakespeare era stickers of the Ineffable Husbands for my Etsy. Hoping to make French Revolution and Garden of Eden versions soon.

Good Omens- Ineffable Husbands Stickers

Okay so

That burning bookshop scene had me thinking