Feeling Judged…

(Warning this is a bit dark I realized and also this is from my own experience about being an INFJ now enjoy)

People say it’s okay to be different. It is, it’s what makes us all unique. It’s the fact when you meet people and they look at your personality up and down, judging if your uniqueness is worth their time is what’s scares me. I know I am different, I feel different every time I talk to a person, feeling them judging me. I can sense the awkward tension in the air and the look in their eyes, it makes me nervous. I then began to question myself.

I decided to modify myself in order to get to know a person better. If they like people who are more hyper, I get a bit hyper. If they like a person a bit more calm, I calm down. If I know they like music, I bring that topic up more often. The one thing I don’t do is change who I am for a person. If I love art, I’m not going to stop. If I love singing in the car to every song when no one can hear me, I will continue to do so. If I have a secret obsession with Chis Evans, imma continue my secret tumblr page whether they like it or not. I don’t stop being me, I just modify myself a bit to understand and relate to a person, have common ground before trapping them into a contact of friendship.

Hope you all liked it and can relate to this somewhat.

When my friends try to convince me to attend social events

Me:

How I’d react to someone liking me back —>

Me: *blushes and runs away like a little child*

Before I Found Out I Was An INFJ

I felt… alone. Like no one can ever understand me… heck, I couldn’t really understand myself. It was weird because, I could understand most people, what they go through, but I always felt no one will understand how I go through things, how my mind thinks, so forth.

I loved my unique self, don’t get me wrong. When I was little, I was proud to stand out from the other kids at school, but I also hated it. Because I thought it made me feel this way, a way why no one in my family can understand how I feel or how I think differently.

I never showed that I felt alone. Because I didn’t want to be a bother. And so many problems came in our family’s life, I didn’t want to become another one. So, I just helped fix problems and pushed my feelings aside, just to focus on my family’s feelings.

One day, my friend and I were hanging out, and she told me about a quiz. This quiz determines your personality. So, I did it, not really understanding what I was getting myself into.

After the test, I saw the words INFJ-T. Then, after reading about it, I felt a relief in my whole life. Because after reading this, I felt like there was a reason, a reason why I was like the way am and that I wasn’t alone. There are others like me. Of course, there was a small number, but there was still a number of them.

So, I asked myself where I’ll be able to find ones who are like me, the community of INFJ who probably felt the way I felt. Then, it hit me. Tumblr. So, I looked on Tumblr and found lots of INFJs. Ones like me. My other friend, she encouraged me to make an INFJ blog, to post things ones will relate to. I thought on it and eventually, @just-an-infj-girl was born.

That was years ago (don’t ask how many because I still don’t know to this day) and now, here we are. I hope you enjoyed my story. What is your INFJ story?

My Thoughts When Meeting People

I don’t know how to communicate. Sure, some people think it’s easy and all you have to do is go up to someone and introduce yourself but, it’s not that easy.

You see, going up means walking up to them. As I’m walking to them I prepare a scrip I am rehearse in my head, my legs are getting weaker, my brain starts to freak out. By the time I get to the person, I forgotten my own name as I’m sweating a storm and hope my breath doesn’t smell bad as I try to speak. In the end, if that person is kind, they would tell me it’s okay and immediately would become a friend but, if not, I try to forget the existence as if it never happened… that’s why I don’t walk up to people.

No, instead, I stay away from introducing myself. Rather, I feel more comfortable if someone came up to me and introduced themselves. It makes me feel like it’s not a bother that I’m in their life, rather, they chosen me to be in it.

I guess what I want to say is, if you are reading this, and you have no problem introducing yourselves to other people, and you see someone alone, talk to them. Become their friend. Maybe it may start an amazing friendship, and make the other person a bit more comfortable with their environment.

— quote by Dia Reeves

“Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.”

—Bertrand Russell

I need to make a t-shirt with this