INTP Story Time #26

INTP: XXFP, help me. I’m slowly running out of stuff to read. I’ll be reaching the point of boredom soon and I hate it

XXFP Sister: Bitch, I don’t know. Try one of the books I have over there *points at desk*

INTP: But all you read is teen dramas

XXFP:Those are not teen dramas

INTP: *Reads titles* … But all you have are self-help books

INTP Story Time #25

INTP: Hmm, I haven’t left the house in 4 weeks, yet I’m still perfectly fine

Mom: It’s actually been 6 weeks, you forgot to include your spring break before the self quarantine started

INTP:…

INTP:My point still stands

“There was once this dude who said, ‘Love thy neighbor,’ and then he died.”

-My DM

The greatest summary of Christianity I’ve ever heard

INTP Story Time #35

XXFP Sister: Wake up, we leave in half an hour

INTP:*stays in bed for 30 minutes*

Parents:We’re leaving in 15 minutes

INTP:*waits the 15 mins, gets ready in 5 minutes*

INTP:*Is left waiting for 10 minutes* I know damn well you guys have been getting ready for an hour before waking me up!

INTP Story Time #34

INTP: *nervous* I need to tell you something …

INTP:I spent $70 today

Dad:Only that much?

Mom:Miracles really do happen

INTP:What- You’re not mad? That’s a lot of money!

Mom:You never spend money

Dad:Had it been XXFP, it would have been a different story. All she does is spend our money

INTP Story Time #33

XXFP Sister: Are you really looking for a job? Be honest

INTP:Legitimately, yes I am. I’ve been getting bored way too easily these days

XXFP:You’re only applying because your bored?

INTP:Yep

INTP Story Time #32

INTP: *Finishes 31 chapter long book*

INTP: *Checks time* 4 am …

INTP:*Proceeds to read another book*

INTP:*Checks time* 7:30 am? How did it get so late?

INTP Story Time #31

XXFP Sister: *Drops me off at cousin’s house*

Cousin’s Mom: Why is INTP here?

Cousin: *jokes* INTP, my mom is trying to kick you out

INTP:*jokes* Well damn, is it because I’m female?

Cousin’s Mom: No, it’s just that you never go out especially by yourself

And that’s when I realized that it was the first time I ever visited my cousins by myself

INTP Story Time #30

INTP:Hey mom, you know how there are people who do arranged marriages? Have you ever thought of setting me up with someone?

Mom:Absolutely, but only if you don’t pick someone out yourself.

INTP:But I’m already planing to live alone with 3 cats

Mom: I don’t care. I want grandkids

INTP:How old do I have to be until you start setting me up on blind dates?

Mom: I really hope it doesn’t come to that, but I’d say around 30

INTP:So my happiness has a time limit

INTP Story Time #29

INTP: I just saw a video explaining how 1+2+3+…+infinity = -1/12

Grandma:What’s a negative?

INTP:…

INTP:You- you don’t know what a negative number is? What’s 3 - 5?

Grandma:That’s impossible. You can’t take away more than what you have.

INTP:*breaths in deeply* boy

I then proceeded to teach her of the existence of negative numbers using the concept of debt

INTP Story Time #28

XXFP Sister: Hey, mom just told me you’re not going with us tomorrow

INTP:Yeah, we’ve been going out everyday for the past 2 weeks, so my social anxiety went haywire. Legitimately cried to my mom in front of our grandparents.

XXFP: But I don’t wanna go by myself. Why can’t you be mentally stable?

INTP:I know right, anxiety can be such a bitch

I ended up with a fever and stress bruises the very next day

INTP Story Time #27

INTP:Hey XXFP, how come we still have this flashing noise thing for cockroaches? I thought we already got rid of them.

XXFP sister: It’s not for cockroaches. It’s for mice. Have you seen a mouse?

INTP:In our house? No

XXFP:That’s why

I Almost Became A Ghost Sighting

One time, I was forced to go with my siblings to a late night sports event for youth. I got bored really easily cause I didn’t know anyone, so I went outside for a walk while most people were in the gym.

There was a baseball field outside (The school we were at was up in the hills surrounded by forest). It was dark, but the were some lamps. I noticed some people out on the field, but ignored them and continued my walk and enjoyed the scenery.

Then I heard them talk louder and caught a few phrases of, “No you go!” “Go check!” I looked over and saw them get closer to me, so I stopped and looked at them. One of them broke off from the group and cautiously approached me.

“Hello”

“Hi?”

They all burst out with sighs of relief. I realized they thought I was a ghost which was so funny cause I was wearing a bright pink Hello Kitty sweater which was the warmest thing I had in my closet. Not exactly the ghost aesthetic if you ask me.

I wonder what would have happened if I kept quiet and started walking towards them. Probably would have scared the shit out of them.

I Accidentally Called Child Services On My Family

There was one time when I was in fifth grade when we had a guest in class who stated that if we were getting hurt at home, we should tell them immediately and they will provide help.

I had a horrible relationship with my older brother at the time and I often got hit by him. (Note that my parents did punish him for doing so, but he refused to stop) I thought that maybe these people could help, so I talked to them and showed them my bruises.

Later on my parents got a call from them. They confronted me about it and I explained that I just wanted my brother to stop hurting me. They were really upset and I didn’t understand why until they explained that those people were child services and they would take me away if they thought I was unsafe in my own home.

I cried saying I didn’t want to be taken away. They later scolded my brother and I’m not sure how he felt about the possibility of me being taken away, but I’d like to think he didn’t want that since he drastically improved his behavior towards me. About two days later, the guest came back and approached me and I assured her that I was fine at home and things were improving.

And that’s how I accidentally called child services on my family