INTP Story Time #32

INTP: *Finishes 31 chapter long book*

INTP: *Checks time* 4 am …

INTP:*Proceeds to read another book*

INTP:*Checks time* 7:30 am? How did it get so late?

Does the world have sum against me cuz being on the internet and playing games r literally my only escape from my own thoughts rn who let the internet speed be so fcking slow too like you want me to kms or sum

Mood

INSOMNIA

“My mind is a blank canvas; where there should be colorfully painted dreams is a heavy blackness. My eyes are as stationary as the silhouette of my bedside lamp, which is where they rest. When the sallow glow of the streetlamp behind it becomes shades of white, I know my night is over.

My mind flickers to the cupboard and the sleeping pills inside that my doctor prescribed. I don’t want them, I don’t want chemicals to “fix” me. I close my eyes and they almost sting like a wasp, opened for too long I suppose.”

— written by @lustfulawakenings (me) ✨

Dear diary…

I can’t sleep…

I’m drowning in my own thoughts again…

Staying up super late is similar to an addiction in that it feels like the only thing keeping you going while you’re in the midst, it’s incredibly difficult to reprogram your brain out of it, and you are vulnerable to relapse every day of your life for your whole life.