i got my english club to watch hozier’s from eden music video. got one of them to become a new fan so ah!!
i’m happy they liked it though. and i’m glad someone else picked up on the bonnie & clyde archetype b/t hozier & katie mcgrath b/c i thought i was reaching there. also one of them said that they found it cool how Hozier subverted the visual story with the tone of the song. specifically the blue color tone versus the bridge. just excited i finally got to talk to some peeps about it!
I’m reading about deafness and the history of the death and WOW, like, they tries to force the children on a oral language, forbidding them from communication through signs and stuff like this, this was REALLY BAD
On my second day at work I gave all the lawyers a origami made on yellow post-its and they all still have it under their monitors. For some reason this makes me really happy.
My mother and her boyfriend didn’t know that there are some internships (jobs we need to get to graduate) that doesn’t pay anything at all, and the ones who do pay, pay a bit more than the half of a minimum wage.
After some thoughts, I decided to be more active and consistent on drawing again. It gives me space to vent some bottled up feelings which can never be done by any other activities.. for all these years.
I re-activated my twitteraccount, where I will post doodles and WIPs. Feel free to drop by and say hi!
Truly I love my job and I love teaching, but there are times (like right now), when I feel actual existential despair about the quality of students’ work and how quickly it has declined even over just a few years.
Nothing about my course has changed recently (literally–it’s an online class, and I recorded all the lectures and video walkthroughs before the pandemic!), but the essays I’m reading this semester are… To be frank, most of them aren’t even legible, let alone college-level writing.
Even those which are grammatically clear enough to be easily read seem to be almost entirely devoid of actual thought. I see the same exact talking points from my own lessons being parroted back without any change, any additions, or even any citations.
I know kids are burnt out and overwhelmed by things happening in the real world right now. I know that. We know there was learning loss during the pandemic, obviously.
But… professors have a legal (and really, a moral) obligation not to pass students out of core courses until they’re actually capable of the required skills, because then the students are passed onto into higher level classes which they are unprepared for and cannot pass, costing them thousands of dollars more in tuition (or worse, the unprepared students are passed through those classes tooand end up causing damage in the real world due to an inability to think critically or communicate clearly to others).
I’m exhausted and heartsick over this. I am so worried for the future.
If you ever need an example of why teachers are sometimes mean to students, please know that this morning I received a Canvas message from a student (who got a 0 score after not turning in his reading response), personally insulting me and my teaching ability. Apparently it was my fault he didn’t turn his homework in, since I “didn’t make it clear what reading assignment we were supposed to write about.”
But the assignment’s title was Ernest Hemingway’s “The Snows of Kilimanjaro” Reading Response.
And there was a bold, 18pt font link to the PDF reading assignment in the text of the assignment itself.
The entire unit in Canvas is labeled as “The Snows of Kilimanjaro.”
And I have a weekly announcement video that verbally and visually walks through the reading and homework assignments for each week.
I… I’m begging you, students… please… think before you speak.
So 2021. Yeah. I wish I could say “I’m glad that’s over,” but last year I tried that with 2020 and I think I cursed myself, so this year, I’m just going to say “Whatever 2022 has in store, I am going to do my best to meet it with my chin up!”
I can’t believe it, but it’s been 15 years since I started doing this 50 promises thing for New Year’s resolutions. I’m still cutting myself some slack because of all this craziness, so a lot of this year’s promises are rolled over from ones I wasn’t able to finish last year… Maybe this will finally be the year that I can keep every promise? I’m going to do my best!
2022 Promises
1) Get the Utah house chimney repaired before it falls down.
2) Get both bedroom floors sanded in the Utah house upstairs.
3) Get the Utah house sprinklers up and working ALL the way for this summer.
4) Actually get the back fence fixed up and the greenery back there trimmed and managed.
4) Get an official exercise routine including walking/jogging, please.
5) Related to that, lose at least 20 pounds. 2020-2021 was not kind to me and the stress eating was real.
6) Successfully set up and use the Roomba my family got for me to hopefully cut down on allergies.
7) Keep up with the specialist appointments that my doctor is making for me. No more getting confused on dates and missing…
8) Go see the dentist again because I think I broke/chipped one of my old fillings and it is not feeling good.
9) Finish all the books I received as gifts from 2020 through 2021. It’s rude not to finish books people gave you out of love.
10) Organize my documents (especially student papers)—my desktop and documents folders give me nightmares just looking at them.
11) Get my new SSD hard drive fully installed and working before going back to work.
12) Get a decent paper shredder to shred old mail.
13) Get the fucking post office to STOP delivering other people’s mail to my house. 90% of the mail that comes to the mailbox isn’t even for me and it is driving me C R A Z Y.
14) Get the Texas house dishwasher fixed… I’m so tired of washing dishes by hand… How do people do this, oof.
15) Get a plumber to stop the dripping spare bathroom faucet and also check behind the wall in the side bathroom… This is gonna be expensive, ugh.
16) Talk to an HR rep about my retirement savings so that I can consolidate my retirement accounts. I have been putting this off for like five years now.
17) Do at least one artwork to actually use that new paint program I bought.
18) Pay my credit debt down by at least $2000. I’m still paying off the hell year but I hope I can make progress on this.
19) Be a super prepared boss and be ahead of the game on all major requirements for the semester, rather than feeling like I’m playing catch-up all the time.
20) See a groove-billed ani. This will be the year!
21) Make it to 3500 followers on tumblr. You should follow me. I’m awesome. :D
22) Update HaaH at least once. I will do this, no matter what.
23) Finish streaming all the new Marvel stuff with Kacchan.
24) Save up to finally buy one of those Ember heated tea mugs.
25) Do a better job of working with and representing the other disciplines in my department. I’m really good at advocating for English, but Communication and the foreign languages under my department need more support, and I need to step up for them.
26) Use the sugar scrub Echo. Just use it. Pamperrrrrr yourself for once…
27) Help my parents save money on their bills by consolidating their services and making some calls to retention of these companies for them.
28) Bird watch in at least three brand new locations this year. I have a tendency to just go back to the places I know, and I’m probably missing some really great birding sites.
29) Keep up my medicine prescriptions successfully without letting them lapse.
30) Play with my dog and cat more often. They’re bored because I’m working too much, I know.
31) Call an exterminator to finally get the ants that keep coming in from somewhere actually dealt with, instead of just spraying them with bug spray even other week and calling it good.
32) This is super nerdy, but my bro got me the FFXIV cookbook and made me promise to actually use it, so I guess I’d better at least try to make something from it.
33) Speaking of FFXIV: This year, I’ll obtain every in-game orchestrion roll. I’m already 80% of the way there.
34) Get a new rose bush for the front of the Texas house and keep it alive.
35) Get King’s prescriptions moved to the closer vet so I don’t have to keep driving two hours away each month to get his medicine.
36) Buy the Noragamivolumes I am missing from my collection and do a full re-read of the series so that I can write meta about it again. Right now it just feels like there are so many things I can’t properly remember…
37) Go to Zion National Park with Derby.
38) Go horseback riding on the island. I’ve never ridden on a beach before!
39) Eat healthier. Maybe cutting out snacks is too much to ask, but at least replace some average meals with salads, etc. and overall make an effort to actually eat better. Sometimes the fact that I feel garbage is my own fault.
40) Related to feeling like garbage: NO MORE WORKING AFTER 9PM. If it’s a real emergency, okay, but otherwise, it is time to set a boundary about working from home after hours.
41) Get a new office chair, an actual nice one, and some plastic to go under the chair to make it easier to move around.
42) Finish decorating the main office. I’ll feel better if my workplace reflects the level of professionalism and school spirit that I envisioned it having this year.
43) Ensure our department successfully meets all its IEP goals this year.
44) Try to be more comprehensive with giving feedback to students. I’m always good at providing detailed comments on essays, but I’d like to spend more time commenting on smaller assignments too this year.
45) Write an FFXIV fic. Even if it’s just a one-shot, write something for this series. I need to express my love…
46) Be more proactive about the cleaning. No more accidentally forgetting to take the trash can out to the curb. At least once a month do a full dust and vacuum of the house, not just the one room I spend the most time in (my office lol).
47) Participate in NaNoWriMo. Even if I don’t finish, just participating again will feel great.
48) Get a screen door put on the side door of the Texas house. This really needs to happen and I can’t believe I just remembered.
49) Don’t forget anyone’s birthday or any other holidays this year. (I forgot a close friend’s birthday last year due to being stressed with work and I’m still upset with myself over it.)
Well… um… I’m alive? And if you’re reading this, you’re alive too! That’s something to feel okay about, at least. At the end of 2020 I really thought things could not possibly get worse, but 2021 was, without question, one of the worst years of my life. At the beginning of the year I experienced a series of serious medical complications that put me in and out of the hospital five times, which left me with more than a thousand dollars in medical bills and forced me to move back in with my family in California for more than six months while recuperating. Then the freeze in Texas ruined both my water heater and my air conditioner and caused the collapse of a large tree into my house, costing me a combined total of $7000 on top of my medical bills. My young cat was let out of my parents’ house by a family member and was hit by a car and killed in April. My boss abruptly left her position and I was essentially the only employee who could take over for her, so I was given a “promotion” to department chair a week into the fall semester with no time for training and with no support and the job is so stressful it’s literally giving me grey hairs. My beloved dog who I’ve had for 11 and a half years is now 12.5 years old and the vet has confirmed that he will likely only live a couple months more…
But ummm, I’m still here! I’m finally starting to get on a medicine regime that is actually making a difference in my health situation! I’ve almost paid off the debt from this year! I’m going to face 2022 with as much confidence and hope as I can. So, with that said, here’s a look back at the New Years Resolutions I made last year!
Promises I Made (2021):
1) Complete the window well on the new basement window so I can finally call that project good.
Status: Kept, but Jesus Christ this was a hassle and a half for sure.
2) Get the Utah house sprinklers working again to prevent dead grass.
Status: Kept, they ran for most of the summer, but there are still some problems with them so it’s back to the drawing board again in the spring.
3) Get the back fence back into place and the greenery trimmed.
Status: Broken. There was so much ease to do, this simply wasn’t possible.
4) Get the patio replaced before it honestly does just fall down on someone.
Status: Kept, but it was also a major hassle. Getting any work done in Utah is a nightmare, the workers are such poor quality.
5) Get an official exercise routine including walking/jogging, please.
Status: Broken. I was doing okay for a while there but it’s so hot through the summer and fall here that being outside is miserable…
6) Related to the above, lose 15 pounds. Teaching from home basically meant I spent all of 2020 sitting in front of computer, not moving, and it shows…
Status: Broken. I did not lose any weight. In fact, I probably gained some. 2021 was too hard.
7) Successfully use the new Roomba my parents got me to keep my floors cleaner. (So much… dog hair…)
Status: Broken. Currently due to my dog’s age, he can’t move around much, and I don’t want to bother him with a Roomba, so I’m waiting on this.
8) Get my wisdom tooth removed. (Holy shit, please Echo…)
Status: Kept, although in the end it came down to being forced to due to the medical situation lol.
9) Get a haircut. (No, really, I didn’t get a haircut at all in 2020 and my hair is so long I’d make Sailor Mars jealous.)
Status: Kept.
10) Find a real doctor to renew my medicine prescriptions so I don’t have to use an asthma inhaler that expired two years ago… please…
Status: Kept. And then the real doctor referred me to like four other specialists because my health situation is so fucked up, so…
11) Fix the back Texas lawn because I let it get pretty bad.
Status: Broken. I spent about four months of 2021 actually in Texas, all of them frantically working.
12) For that matter, uhhhh, let me fix the front yard too.
Status: Somewhat kept. At least in the sense that after the freeze killed uhhh EVERYTHING, I did have the dead trees and such removed, so the yard does look more professionally groomed now.
13) Find a credenza for the foyer. Even if it’s expensive, just buy one already Echo.
Status: Kept. And I got one at a decent price, so this wasn’t too bad.
14) Finish at least seven new books this year. (This goal feels so small, but when do I ever get time to just sit down and read nowadays?)
Status: Broken. From January to April I wasn’t able to focus on anything other than my medical situation, and then from April to August I was working on home renovations, and then from August to now I’ve just been doing my exhausting job… I want time to myself, please…
15) Organize my documents (especially student papers)—my desktop and documents folders give me nightmares just looking at them.
Status: Broken. Honestly I just forgot I made this promise and so I didn’t do it. I should do this though, yikes…
16) Get a decent paper shredder to shred old mail.
Status: Broken. I do need one though…
17) Talk to an HR rep about my retirement savings so that I can consolidate my retirement accounts.
Status: Broken. I wasn’t too busy calling insurance constantly…
18) Do at least one artwork to actually use that new paint program I bought.
Status: Broken. Oof. One day, surely…
19) Get the dishwasher fixed… even if I don’t quite know what’s wrong with it.
Status: Broken. But I did call a repair person at least…So maybe they’ll call me back after the holiday and come look at it…
20) Pay my credit card down by at least ½. I made good progress this last year but I need to get it down a lot more before I’ll really be feeling good again.
Status: Somewhat kept. I did pretty well on this, but I didn’t quite make it to ½ due to all the extra expenses that suddenly hit me last year. At least it’s a lot better than it was before.
21) Have all class changes and updates done before classes begin so I only have to worry about grading, not prep too. (There’s always new prep… I never get a break…)
Status: Kept. I actually managed to do this one, thank goodness, or I never would have survived the fall.
22) Get the toilet in the Texas house fixed as well as the water heater checked because the shower in the back bathroom is cold, blech.
Status: Somewhat kept. The water heater had to be replaced due to the freeze, but I still need to get the toilet looked at to see if there is a valve leak in the wall.
23) Help King lose weight to help with his arthritis. Aim for 85 pounds!
Status: Somewhat kept. He did lose quite a bit of weight, 11 pounds so far, but honestly I don’t think it’s really a good thing. I think he’s losing the weight from declining appetite due to his body slowing down. T_T
24) See a groove-billed ani. (It’s another type of bird.)
Status: Broken. I tried but failed to find this bird. 2022 will be the year!
25) Make it to 3000 followers on tumblr. Can I do it? Maybe if I posted actual content once in a while…
Status: Kept. Thank you for following me, everyone!
26) Update HaaH at least once. Please. At least once…
Status: Broken. I’m so sorry…
27)Force Convince my father to fix the fixture in my parents’ front bathroom so my mother will finally stop complaining to me about the leaking sink.
Status: Kept. New sink, no leak!
28) Buy a new pair of shoes. I’ve literally worn the same pair of shoes almost every day for the last four years and it’s like… time to let them go.
Status: Kept. They’re not as comfy as my old shoes though. I miss you, Coach tennies…
29) Finish streaming the Fruits Basket remake with Kacchan.
Status: Broken! We made it to the end of season two I think? But we did stream literally all of the Marvel movies together so like we just watched other stuff instead; does this count?
30) Finish the other two courses I was offered because bonus money…
Status: Kept and passed with flying colors, thanks.
31) Save up to finally buy one of those Ember heated tea mugs.
Status: Broken, mostly because I had to really cut down on my tea and coffee consumption this year due to medical issues. But I do still want one of these, so maybe soon.
32) Help my parents save money on their bills by consolidating their services and making some calls to retention of these companies for them.
Status: Broken. I did talk to them about this though, but they abhor change of any kind. More likely to get blood from a stone then get them on a new service.
33) Get vaccinated for Coronavirus as soon as the vaccine is available.
Status: Kept and I got my booster too!
34) Play the new TWEWY game (if it isn’t delayed)–I’m so excited!
Status: Broken, I haven’t played it yet. But my brother got it for me for Christmas so maybe if I get a break soon I can.
35) Find a way to spend more time with my coworker. She does so much for me; I really need to repay her kindness more.
Status: Kept, somewhat forcibly in that she had to drive me to the hospital so many times… @_@ No, more seriously, we did spend a lot more time together this year.
36) Do a video chat and bake with Kacchan since we can’t meet in person to bake together this year!
Status: Broken. My family came to Texas from out of town and took up all my free time over the holiday break.
37) Learn to take better FFXIV screenshots. I need to learn how to use Gpose better.
Status: Broken. I didn’t really take the time to play around with glamour/screenshot stuff this year in between everything else I had to do.
38) I will go birdwatching at least six times this year.
Status: Kept. I did a lot more birdwatching this year than last year!
39) I will use the exfoliating mask and sugar scrubs I was given for Christmas. I will this time, I really will!!
Status: I did not.
40) I will get my kitty Gremory to the vet because there’s something not quite right with his claws and I want it checked out.
Status: Kept. Unfortunately, one of the worst things to happen this year was the loss of my precious kitty Gremory due to one of my family members letting him out of my parents’ house and us not being able to get him back inside before . I am still heartbroken.
41) Get a bedframe for the new guest bedroom bed I was able to buy.
Status: Kept.
42) Eat fewer snacks in 2021–stop buying Oreos, Echo. You can do it.
Status: Look man, it was 2021. I don’t even blame myself.
43) Help ensure that the Todoroki family zine makes it out to everyone who ordered and we are able to close out that zine project strong!
Status: Kept! We did it and the zine looks so good!
44) Get all of the wolf mounts in FFXIV, finally. I never bothered to grind these at all lol.
Status: Broken. I didn’t bother. I’m still missing… Tsukuyomi, Seiryu, and Suzaku, I think?
45) I will help my mother go through all the family’s Christmas things because the house is so overloaded with Christmas stuff it’s actually becoming a big nuisance. (My family’s Christmas obsession could probably be a plot of a Christmas comedy movie at this point…)
Status: Broken. We did go through them, but she didn’t want to get rid of much, oof.
46) Actually watch the Downton Abbey movie, finally.
Status: Broken. I bought it, but haven’t watched it. T_T
47) Take ten “really good” photographs this year.
Status: Kept. I don’t know if every one is really TOP TOP quality, but I got some really gorgeous owl pictures and I’m happy with them.
48) Spend more time with my aunt; we don’t see each other nearly enough.
Status: Somewhat kept. I did go out with her a few times but it was a hard year.
49) A promise provided by a friend: “Try a new Mexican dish. One that doesn’t have mole on it, for once.”
Status: Broken. I left Texas for most of the year and did not really go out even after coming back. Next year, hopefully.
50) I will keep these promises. LOLLLLL.
Status:
Kept:19
Somewhat Kept/Somewhat Broken: 5
Broken:25
Honestly, not that bad for literally the worst year of my life. I’m calling it good!
2022 will mark 15 years of making 50 promises, so I’ve got to do my best to come up with some good resolutions this year… Uh, we’ll see…
It’s been a while since I’ve been on here consistently but wanted to give a life update for anyone interested at all .
Life has picked up for me in a way that makes me so happy. In the span of two months, I’ve gotten a dream job, my driver’s licence, turned 21, and got a boyfriend.
Life is good and I hope it’s been for y'all as well. How have you guys been?!
I guess some OG content would be nice, huh?.. However, to be honest I still don’t have much of anything, but I suppose I should do give an update on things:
Sooooo, I’ve been really busy the past month just working on myself. I started dieting, just started seeing a therapist and a specialist for my other medical issues I’ve been putting off. I might quit my job that I don’t find fulfill any longer. My husband and I are talking about maybe moving. And finally, my niece is about to be born any day now, so I’ve been on Auntie duties with the other rug rats.
Last week was the first time I sat down and drew something this entire new year (which felt pretty good, and so far it looks pretty damn good even if it’s just a sketch right now). I also have been writing here and there when I have a burst of inspiration, but that quickly fizzles out and I get overwhelmed again. At this point, I have no idea of I’m ever going to finish this damn arch of this fanfic, but my life is to crazy to focus on it anyways.
So, all in all, I’m doing ok, just trying to actually work on myself so I’m a healthier person instead of drowning my problems in hobbies. I hope everyone is having a better year than the previous two and I hope all you trash pandas are happy and healthy. ❤️❤️❤️
✨Please take care of yourselves and remember that Mother Llama loves you all!
There was an irritant gas attack at my workplace today, hurting 40 people, 6 of them are in hospital now.
People who know where I work and hear about this on German TV or other news, I’m lucky to be at home on a day off, so I’m unhurt and physically fine, but freaking out here for my co-workers and friends.
I don’t know why sheep are thought of as gentle creatures.
One of my bottle-raised ewes wants to fight me now. She used to be the friendly one. And rams are never to be trusted. He likes face scratches, but he’ll ram me when I’m not looking. Rude.
ALT
