— BOOKWORM!

pairing: jeong jaehyun x reader 

genre: fluff | wc: 0.3k | disclaimers: none

[ : ]

jaehyun strides the streets of seoul. he watches as the autumn leaves fall with the gentle breeze surrounding him. before he knew it, he stares at the library’s window in front of him. he finds himself examining the book display. jaehyun’s eyes lit up as he noticed the book you’ve been wanting for days. for the past week, he’s heard you talk to your friends frequently about this certain book. jaehyun knew you had a big passion for reading - he always found you nestled up in your nook, smiling to yourself as you read quietly.

when you first met jaehyun, he teased you constantly about being a bookworm. it was never ill-intended, more of an inside joke between you both. jaehyun slowly fell in love with the way your eyes sparkled in a library. day by day, he’d buy you books and leave it on your desk right before class started. your first date was in the library, the quiet atmosphere gave jaehyun easy access to absorb your beauty in your favorite place; maybe even your second home.

you hear your shared apartment’s door twist, you look up to see jaehyun with a bag filled with books. you could hardly contain your happiness, as you jumped up from your seat, running over to him. jaehyun watched your excited expression, his heart throbbed with happiness. he cherished you with everything he had, you were his heaven on earth. jaehyun couldn’t help but buy you anything that reminded him of you, as long as it made you happy.

as you opened the bag, your eyes widened at the sight. jaehyun bought you the book you’ve been dying for, added along with some books he thinks you’d love. as you read the introductions, you feel hands wrap around your waist. you feel jaehyun lay his chin on top of your head, looking down at the book and reading along with you.

“do you like it? i hope you do, i browsed around and picked the ones i think you’d like.” you feel him grinning, causing you to smile yourself. “these are perfect! thank you love, genuinely.” you felt so lucky to have such an amazing person in your life.

“anything for you.”

yeah, jaehyun was head over heels for you.

a/n: hi! thank u for all of ur notes & reblogs, i appreciate it sm!! also, feedback + tips are always welcome! don’t be afraid to reach out :D

© jjaehyuk, 2021. all rights reserved.

— AWESTRUCK!

pairing: jeong jaehyun x reader 

genre: fluff | wc: 0.15k | disclaimers: none

[ : ]

jaehyun looks up to see you in all of your glory. not too much makeup, but enough to accentuate everything about your appearance just right. jaehyun watched you in awe, no words came out of his mouth. he couldn’t believe that he was even close to lucky enough to have you here with him, walking away from this as a cemented team with a future ahead of you together.

you reach over to his jaw , grazing his jaw with a feathery touch. you stop your hand on his chin, slowly shutting his mouth closed.

“hey hyung, snap out of it!” you hear haechan exclaim with a cheeky smile.

you hear light chuckles from your families and friends around you, causing you to chuckle to yourself.

jaehyun clears his throat, ears slowly turning red as he realizes his jaw dropped over seeing his beautiful fiancée.. in front of everyone he knows.. lee donghyuck, you’re dead meat.

© jjaehyuk, 2021. all rights reserved.

[3.05 am] earlier in the day you had made lunch for the nct members since you knew that the hard hours of practising kept the boys away from actually taking care of themselves. it wasn’t easy to make a 21 people meal but your love for them and the smiles on their faces when they saw what you had prepared made it all worthy. soon enough all the boys had eaten and the oldest members suggested that you had a movie night, so there you were in between donghyuckandjaemin who were cuddling either side of you, johnny’s hands engulfing both you and jenowho was sat on his left side,whilebf!jaehyunpicked out a scary movie and sat, pouting that he didnt get to sit next to you, at the end of the couch. at the end of the movie everyone but jaehyunandtaeyong had fallen asleep and your boyfriend took a look at you, his heart swelling in content when he saw you sprawled in the couch, jisung asleep on the floor, clinging on your leg for dear life, while your one hand rested on his head and your other one held jeno’s foot who had somehow managed to place his body horizontally on johnny.jaehyunandtaeyong resisted the urge to laugh at the sight, fearing that they would wake you up, before jaehyun got up and carefully untangled you from the teenage boys, before carrying you bridal style. he heard taeyong whispering his name and turned around only to see the leader’s proud smile while looking at you two, before he muttered a small ‘well done’ to the younger boy. jaehyun blushed and took you away in his bedroom, placing you on his bed and taking a long look at your face, with your hair all tangled up and some drool coming out of your mouth. in this moment he had never loved you more. in this moment he thanked every god he could think of, for bringing you into his life and being not only an amazing girlfriend to him but an incredible friend to the people he called his family. he smiled to himself, placing a kiss on your forehead, before getting in bed and snuggling closer to you than ever, whispering an 'i love you’ and promising himself to love you more and more everyday.

As long as you’re here || Jung Jaehyun

You couldn’t exactly pinpoint the moment you realized you didn’t love Jaehyun anymore, or the reason behind this but you were pretty sure your feelings had vanished somewhere along the line. Maybe it was the thousand missed calls, or his messed up schedule or maybe it was the fact that you barely saw him anymore but it felt like there was nothing connecting your hearts anymore. Those thoughts heaved your heart more and more each day but you couldn’t bring yourself to confront him about it, not until you saw him in person, even if that would be the last time. Jaehyun had really been an amazing boyfriend to you, your rock during upsetting days and the home that made you feel safe from the outside world, but the weight of his career as an idol had caused you two to drift apart in ways that broke both his and your heart.

He knew that you didn’t deserve this. The rushed minutes he gave you, the missed calls and the secret dates weren’t something a person like you deserved. Yet he loved you more than his entire existence and even if it was selfish, he couldn’t imagine himself being away from you. As hard as his days were, as stressful his job was, he pushed through just to hear your voice for those 5 minutes he had a break, or to take a glimpse of your face, for those were things that kept him sane. However he knew that with the endless tour dates, you would break at some point and his worst fear would happen; you’d leave him. That’s why on his 3 day vacation he booked the earliest flight to come surprise you. And that’s why he found himself ringing on your doorbell at 7 a.m waiting for you to show up anxiously, like he was afraid of what would happen.

You woke up to the ringing sounds of your doorbell, stretching and looking at the time. Who could be outside at this time of day? You groaned, ruffling your hair with one hand before you got up and reached the door. You opened it and what you saw made your gut drop and your feet to take a step back in surprise before you were engulfed in a huge hug by the person you called your boyfriend. You couldn’t hug him back, as much as your brain told you you should. It didn’t feel right. The hug you once called your safety net, now felt strange, unfamiliar as if you were being hugged by a stranger. Jaehyun noticed your stiffness and pulled away before placing a peck on your lips.

“W-what are you doing here?” you said, trying to smile, but what formed in your mouth probably looked more like a grimace because Jaehyun’s eyebrows furrowed at that.

“I came to surprise you.” He said quietly, “Is everything okay?” He reached for your hand and his fingers stroked the outside of your palm lovingly.

“Yeah,” you said, an unfamiliar feeling brewing inside your stomach, “everything is okay.” You smiled and led him to sit on the couch. You couldn’t decipher what you were feeling. You imagined how this day would go, how’d you feel, but the reality was not even similar to your imagination. Your insides were burning with feelings for the boy in front of you, making you even more confused than you were before.

You sat him down, taking a seat next to him, while his hand settled on your lap and you took a minute to study his face. He was even more handsome than he was when he’d left. The tour definitely had matured him in ways, leaving him looking more manly than ever. He was barefaced, with the sunlight dancing beautifully on his clear skin and his eyes were looking at you, painted with the loveliest shade, a mixture of the sun rays and his eye colour. He brought a hand to your face and stroked your cheek softly, tugging a stray hair that had escaped your bun behind your ear before smiling sadly.

“Love, we need to talk.”

You froze, your heartbeat stopping momentarily, before sighing sadly and nodding your head. Words didn’t need to be spoken for the both of you to realise you were talking about the same thing.

“I’m sorry.” He said suddenly, voice shaking, making you look up at him, tears in your eyes. “I know you don’t love me anymore and I’m sorry. I should have been here, I should have been the boyfriend you deserved but I chose my job instead and I’m sorry.”

“I-it’s not your fault. I knew what I was getting myself into when I said yes. It’s just.. It’s too hard.” you mumbled, “It’s too hard when the only thing I want after a long day is to fall into your arms or at least hear your voice. It’s too hard when I want to go out with you but you either don’t have time or we have to do it secretly. It’s not your fault, none of this is, but it’s just harder than I expected it to be.”

You don’t know when Jaehyun’s hands wrapped around your torso or when he pulled you in his lap but you rested your head on his shoulder and you cried while he hummed a soft melody in your ear, trying to control his own tears as well. You cried until all the frustration left your body, before you realised that what was wrong wasn’t that you stopped loving him. You didn’t and you probably would never do. It was just that your love for him was so big, that being away from him killed a part of you. It was pain that made you feel this way.

“Do you still love me?” Jaehyun whispered softly against your ear while he drew circles on your back. “Please, don’t let me go.”

And that was when you looked up at him and seeing his tear-stained face and his puffy, red eyes made your own fill with tears all over again. You threw your hand around him, hugging him as hard as you could and you mumbled yes a hundred times until you were sure he heard you before pulling away and giving him a passionate kiss, conveying all your feelings.

“I’m sorry I ever doubted my love for you. I love you so much and as long as I have you, I have this, then I’m willing to fight for it.” You whispered, your hands now cupping his face, forcing him to look at you. Your lips gave his nose a small kiss, making him leave a tired chuckle before he once again nuzzled his face in your hair and exhaled.

“I’ll be better okay? I’ll fix this.”

You and him knew that your relationship was not perfect. It needed work and that would probably take a while, but as long as you were together in this, you were sure you’d come out of it alive.

[22.00 pm] Roadtrips with Jaehyun where he doesn’t let go of your hand throughout the entire drive and you guys spend the night in your minivan, in each other’s imbrace, gazing at the stars whilst talking about anything that comes to your mind, with slow music playing in the background.

This is from Y/n point of view and what they are going through now that they have ended things with Jaehyun. After this I promise things will start to get better for these two.

Part of the long term couples series. 

“I want you Y/n. There is no one else that I want but you.” Jaehyun grabs your hands trying to pull you in closer to him, but you won’t let him and pull out of his hold.

“You say that now but there will come a time when you won’t want me anymore.”

“You don’t know that. There is no way to know if that will happen or not. Why are you ending everything on a maybe?”

“Let me go Jaehyun, just let me go. We both know that this isn’t going to work,” you cry as you angrily wipe away at the tears that are falling down your face.

Curled up in one of the most uncomfortable chairs known to mankind you shake thoughts of Jaehyun out of your head and work on updating one of your patient files. Your butt had gone numb a good half an hour ago and your neck was cramping but you didn’t move from your spot. One of the reasons was because you were determined to get caught up on all of your files and to be the best grunt that had ever worked at this hospital and two because you were punishing yourself. You deserved to sit in this uncomfortable chair, doing paperwork, and being miserable. Then there was reason three because this chair was facing your hardest patient’s room.

You wanted to be close to them in case anything happened which was silly because everyone including them knew that they were dying and that it was only a matter of time. There was nothing that anyone could do to change that outcome. Yet here you were sitting outside their room like just your presence alone could stop death itself from coming. The reason you felt you had to sit here for them you couldn’t figure out and you didn’t want to dig to deeply into why you felt the need to sit here. You figured that if you did you wouldn’t like the reason why.

“How long have they been sleeping?” Jumping in your chair you look up at your patient’s girlfriend. She comes every day to visit. Today is no different expect for the part that she looks worn. There are dark circles under her eyes and her clothes are wrinkled like she has either slept in them or grabbed the first thing her hand touched and didn’t care what it looked like.

“He’s been sleeping for a few hours now.” You tell her. “How are you doing?”

You pat the chair next to you encouraging her to sit next to you. She drops into the chair her eyes never leaving the man sleeping in the bed across the hall from you two. You look back over at him and then her. She loves him so much you can see it all over her face.

“Alright, he tried to break up with me yesterday or… or he did break up with me,” your eyes widen in surprise. “He said that he didn’t think it was fair that I date someone who was just going to die. That it would be better now to just end things before I get hurt.”

“Can’t you see that I’m trying to end things before you get hurt,” you shout. “We were only supposed to be fuc…”

“Don’t!” Jaehyun almost shouts. “don’t finish that sentence because we both know that we have never been that. We may have said that is all that we would ever be to each other but from the first moment we spent together we have been anything but that.”

“Jaehyun I’m trying to save you from being hurt.” You plead with the man who claims that you have always been more than just a hook up to him. Everything is going wrong you were supposed to avoid all of this. Neither of you were supposed to get feelings.

“To late Y/n, the only ways that you can stop me from being hurt are by not ending things with me or by us never of starting this thing in the first place. And it’s a little too late for the second one.”

“You’ll get over me. You think that you are hurt but by tomorrow you’ll realize that you don’t even miss me.”

“Stop telling me how I’m supposed to feel. You can tell yourself that if it will make what you’re doing to me easier. But I’m telling you that if you walk away from me tomorrow, I am going to wake up and feel pain.”

Biting your tongue, you swallowed the words you wanted to say and push back thoughts of your conversation with Jaehyun. You want to say that you understand where he was coming from. That he thought it best to break it off now while she could still walk away before things got worse, before she got even more attached to him. He was saving her from the pain that he knew was coming, that is unavoidable. But before you get a chance to say anything the girl continues on.

“The thing he doesn’t understand though is that it’s already to late,” she bitterly laughs, “from the moment I met him it was already too late. It doesn’t matter that he ends things now us being together or not isn’t going to make his death hurt any less. And shouldn’t I get a choice in the type of hurt I’m going to go through?”

You didn’t know what to say to that. The fact of the matter was that there was no way he was going to come out of this alive. It is only a matter of time for him. The only question is when will he die. There is no chance for a happy ending for them. There’s no chance of them walking out of this hospital hand in hand. One of them is leaving this place no longer breathing and the other is going to have to go on living. You both hear your name being called and look to see that your patient has woken up. You leave the chair and head over to check them over. You feel the girl’s presence behind you and don’t stop her from coming into the room as well. Once you are done checking him over you leave them alone and return to your chair.

You watch as they talk and your heart squeezes. The conversation doesn’t look like it is going well, and you are about to get up and walk in there when suddenly the boy sits up and pulls the girl into the bed with him. He wraps his arms around her. Her face is pressed tight to his chest and her body is shaking. He runs his fingers through her hair, and you can see tears streaming down his face too.  He kisses the top of her head and must be whispering something to her as you see her head nodding occasionally. Eventually she sits up and kisses the boy before curling back up into him.  

“Looks like the two of them worked things out,” Tilting your head back you see the head nurse watching the two of them.

“For how long though. He’s going to die, it’s not like they know things are going to work out,” you didn’t mean for that to slip out, but it was something that you have been thinking about for a few days now ever since you ended things with Jaehyun. How could they stay together knowing that it was going to end? How could anyone be with someone knowing that it might not work out in the end.

“For someone who is extremely bright you are dull when it comes to relationships,” If it was anyone else talking to you like that you would have said something but this being the head Nurse and someone that you respected you stayed quiet.

“There is no way to know if a relationship is going to work out. There is never a guarantee. You just have to ask yourself if the person you are with is worth the risk and the possible heartache. Those two seemed to have decided that it’s worth the pain. That all the happiness they can have now is going to be worth the eventual pain that is going to come. And who knows maybe it won’t hurt as much as they think it will.”

The nurse walks away from you leaving you alone once again. You look back over at the couple who are holding tightly onto one another and have tuned everyone else out. Leaning your head back against the wall you close your eyes and let the last moments with Jaehyun wash over you.

“Stay Y/n, stay with me and let me prove to you that we are something worth fighting for. I can’t promise you that you won’t get hurt or that we won’t end. But I can promise you that I will do everything I can to prove to you that I am worth the risk of getting hurt because you are that to me. I want to be with you that I don’t even care that I could get hurt by you.” A sob breaks out and you cover your mouth to stop it. Your body is shaking from trying to keep the sobs in. You’re shaking your head at Jaehyun.

Jaehyun’s shoulder slump and he drops his head in defeat and you know that he gets it now. That he realizes you are not worth it. When he lifts his head back up there are unshed tears in his eyes and he locks eyes with you before speaking again.

“You can walk away. I understand that this is something that you think you need to do, and I won’t stop you. But Y/n just know that even though I am letting you walk out that door I am not giving up on you, on us. I will be here waiting for you, but you have to be the one to come back I won’t chase you. I need you to come back because you want to and because you believe in us.”

“Trust me Jaehyun you won’t want me to come back.” Somehow you manage to say the words without your voice breaking.

“I’ll always want you to come back,” Jaehyun replies without any hesitation. It doesn’t stop you from leaving. You still walk out the door and away from Jaehyun.

A tear runs down your cheek and you quickly swipe it away before anyone can see you crying at work. Pulling in a deep breath you focus on gaining control of your emotions again before you get up from the chair and make your way back into your patient’s room. You thought that the both of them were sleeping but as you’re adjusting one of the monitors you hear the soft deep voice of your patient.

“Can she stay the night? She didn’t get any sleep last night and I don’t want to wake her.” He watches you with hopeful eyes, you give him a small smile and nod.

“How are you feeling?” It was meant to be about his health, but he doesn’t answer it that way.

“Better now that she’s here. Yesterday I thought we would both be better off without each other. I was wrong, I’m better with her by me.”

“I’m glad you’re doing better,” you give his arm a squeeze before walking out of the room. This time you don’t even try and stop the tears. You let them silently fall down your face as you gather up your things to find a quiet place to finish your work where no one will see you in all of your misery.

Jaehyun and Y/n break up and Jaehyun is trying to deal with the fact that you left but he’s finding it difficult. 

Part of the long term couple series

Waking up to his alarm Jaehyun reaches over for his phone to turn off the alarm before rolling onto his back to stare up at the ceiling. For the past two days Jaehyun had slept like crap, and he can’t get the thought of you out of his head. When he had returned to South Korea two days ago, he was happy and excited to see you. Now he was laying in bed trying to figure out how everything had gone wrong. He replayed your conversation again in his head trying to figure out if there was something that he could have done differently.

“Jaehyun, we need to talk,” those words made Jaehyun freeze. He could tell by the sound of your voice that it was something serious and fear was gripping him. Ever since he left for his concert in Japan and returned you have been different towards him and now, he was going to find out why.

“Okay,” Jaehyun turns back towards you but keeps a few feet between the two of you. It felt like you wanted that, needed it and he was afraid that if he got to close you would take off on him. “What do we need to talk about?”

He watches as you take a deep breath. Your eyes close for a moment before opening again and it looks like you are fighting back tears. He starts to take a step towards you but stops when you hold up your hands telling him to stay where he is.

“I want us to end things between the two of us.” The words hit Jaehyun like he has been slapped. He knew that you were hesitant about relationships, but he didn’t think that you would end things with him. Not when they had been going so well. Well, they had been until his recent trip.

“Why do you want to end things? I thought things were good between the two of us. But ever since I got back from Japan you have been acting weird and now you want to end things?”

“I think that it would be best if we just ended this  now.” Jaehyun can’t understand why you want to end the relationship you keep avoiding the question and he needs to know why.

“Tell me why. Give me a reason why you think we should end this.” Jaehyun demands.

             “Because we’re not going to work out!” You shout. “We both know that you are eventually going to meet someone else and want to be with them and me being with you is only going to hold you back.”

             Jaehyun couldn’t believe what he was hearing. How could you possibly think that he would want anyone else when he has you? Don’t you get that you are all that he has ever wanted. You are someone who doesn’t hesitate to tell him the truth. You don’t care about his looks, talent, or money. You are the only person besides his members who understand when he needs time to himself or silence. How could you possibly think that he would want someone else?

“I want you Y/n. There is no one else that I want but you.” Jaehyun grabs your hands trying to pull you in closer to him, but you won’t let him and pull out of his hold.

“You say that now but there will come a time when you won’t want me anymore.”

“You don’t know that. There is no way to know if that will happen or not. Why are you ending everything on a maybe?”

“Let me go Jaehyun, just let me go. We both know that this isn’t going to work,” you cry as you angrily wipe away at the tears that are falling down your face.

“Jaehyun are you up? We have to be at the studio in an hour.” Jungwoo voice pulls him out of his thoughts. He hears the quick wrap of Jungwoo’s knuckles on the door before he walks down the hall to knock on the next persons door.

Pulling himself out of bed Jaehyun runs his fingers through his hair and sighs. He doesn’t want to go to the studio. What he wants to do is go to your place and try to get you to see reason and get back together with him.  Jaehyun knew that you had doubts about relationships that was obvious from the very beginning when you told him that you didn’t believe in relationships. But stupid him he thought you were changing your mind about relationships. Who didn’t believe in relationship and yet spent almost every night either at his place or let him come to theirs?

Walking out of his room and heading downstairs to get into one of the cars that would take him to the studio Jaehyun saw Yuta and girlfriend walking hand in hand to the elevators. Yuta was smiling down at her as he leaned down to take a bite out of the bagel that she was holding up for him. She then rests more of herself against Yuta as the continued to walk towards him. Going back inside his place Jaehyun waiting a few minutes until he was sure that the two of them were gone. He couldn’t handle riding in an elevator with the two of them.

Jaehyun was jealous of Yuta. The two of them had started seeing their significant others around the same time. The funny thing was that both of them had started to fall for people who claimed they wanted nothing more than casual hook ups. If anyone could understand what Jaehyun was going through it was Yuta. That was until things changed for Yuta, his supposed fuck buddy admitted that they wanted more and the two went from keeping things casual to a full-blown relationship. At first it had given Jaehyun hope that that would be where the two of you would end up. That all came crashing down when he returned to South Korea, and you told him you wanted to end everything.

Finally making it downstairs and into the van Jaehyun noted how everyone in the vehicle was looking at him but no one said anything. Then again what was there to say? They all knew what happened between him and you. Some of them had even heard the two of you arguing and then him asking for you to stay, begging you to let him prove to you that he was worth being in a relationship with. Closing his eyes Jaehyun leaned his head back. When there was a nudge into his side Jaehyun peeked open one eye and looked over at Johnny who was watching him with concerned eyes.

“She’ll come around she just needs some time,” Johnny whispers to him so the others won’t hear. Nodding to get Johnny to leave him alone Jaehyun closes his eyes again and tries to keep thoughts of you out of his head.

“Stay Y/n, stay with me and let me prove to you that we are something worth fighting for. I can’t promise you that you won’t get hurt or that we won’t end. But I can promise you that I will do everything I can to prove to you that I am worth the risk of getting hurt because you are that to me. I want to be with you that I don’t even care that I could get hurt by you.”

The car comes to a stop and Jaehyun doesn’t wait for the others to move before he is sitting up and exiting the vehicle. He has to get out and move. Once out of the vehicle he takes some large gulps of air and tries to shake off the memory that keeps haunting him. A hand lands on his shoulder causing him to jump. Taeyong stands next to him holding him in place letting everyone else file inside before he speaks.

“Go check on her. Maybe it’ll help you relax or just take a walk but don’t come inside. You’re out of it and there’s no point in you trying to record today.”

“I’m sorry,” Jaehyun starts but Taeyong stops him.

“Don’t be. We all have had times where we couldn’t work. Go do what you need to and if your ready we can record your part tomorrow.” Taeyong gives his shoulder a squeeze before leaving him.

He doesn’t mean to go to your place of work. When Taeyong had suggested that he go check on you he didn’t think it was a good idea. He was going to just walk back to their dorms, but he found himself walking towards the hospital that you worked at. He found you easily, he had hoped that he wouldn’t be able to find you and then could walk away with the knowledge that he tried but that it was pointless for him to come here. But there you were in the hallway sitting in one of the chairs, with charts stacked up next to your chair.

You weren’t looking at the chart in your hand but at something across the hallway from you. Whatever you were looking at it was causing you to look upset and you were about to get up when something in the room must have changed. You lowered yourself back down into the chair and a look he wasn’t sure how to describe crossed your face. It looked like you were sad but also happy. You jump when one of the other staff stops next to you and the two of you talk before looking back at the room. When they leave you get up and walk into the room that you had been watching.

When you leave the room, your shoulders are slumped and Jaehyun can tell that you are crying. He wants to walk up to you and pull you into his embrace. To hold you close to him and to tell you that it’ll be okay, that whatever is making you upset will pass and that you can let it all out. That he’ll be right here to support you, but he doesn’t. Because he told you that he would let you go, that he’d let you go but would be waiting.

“You can walk away. I understand that this is something that you think you need to do, and I won’t stop you. But Y/n just know that even though I am letting you walk out that door I am not giving up on you, on us. I will be here waiting for you, but you have to be the one to come back I won’t chase you. I need you to come back because you want to and because you believe in us.”

“Trust me Jaehyun you won’t want me to come back.” To him it sounds like you are lying more to yourself than to him. That you’re trying to convince yourself that there is no possible way that he could ever want you.

“I’ll always want you to come back,” Jaehyun replies without any hesitation because he means it. No matter what he knows deep in his bones that he’ll always want you.

It’s Christmas Eve and Y/n is not expecting Jaehyun to be home until Christmas day. But it seems that Y/n is going to be getting an early Christmas present.

Part of the long term couples series but can be read as a stand alone.

           Jaehyun quietly unlocks the door to your apartment and toes off his shoes in the entryway before he silently makes his way down the hallway towards your bedroom. He had told you that he wouldn’t be back until Christmas day but him and the rest of his members had been able to wrap up the video shoot early and were back in Korea by Christmas Eve. Jaehyun had thought about calling you and letting you know that he was going to be back sooner than planned but he had decided to wait and surprise you instead.

           As Jaehyun makes his way down the hallway he looks into the living room and sees your Christmas tree with the lights on and a few presents sitting under the tree. Jaehyun remember when you had dragged the fake tree out of your closet and told him that the two of you were going to decorate the tree together and you didn’t want to hear any complaining from him. When he was about to open his mouth to protest you quickly shut him down by saying “We are doing this as a couple, and I know it’s lame, but I want to do this.”

           That had gotten him to shut his mouth and help you set up the tree and decorate it. Once the tree was done Jaehyun had to admit that he enjoyed decorating the tree and he had a strong feeling that the reason had to do with the person who was standing next to him admiring the work that they had done together. Jaehyun adds his present for you to the rest of the gifts before he turns off the lights and continues down the hallway.

           Gently pushing open the door to your room Jaehyun sees you laying on your side, legs tucked up close to your chest, one of your hands is tucked under your cheek. Jaehyun found it cute that you slept like that whenever he wasn’t next to you. As much as you liked to claim that you weren’t a cuddler in sleep you were. Once you started to drift off to sleep you would turn into him and thrown a leg and arm over him. There had even been times when he had woken up on his side with you curled around him face pressed into his back.

           Moving to the bed Jaehyun sat down on the side and reached out towards you. He ran the back of his hand down the side of your face causing you to stir. Your face scrunched up in annoyance and your eyes started too slowly open. You looked up at him and blinked away the sleep and confusion at seeing him earlier than you had planned. Jaehyun smiled down at you letting you wake up and get your bearings.

           “Hi,” you whisper your voice filled with sleep. “When did you get back?”

           “Landed about two hours ago and came here as soon as I could.” Jaehyun told you. You nodded your head in understanding still not fully awake. You scoot over in the bed making room for Jaehyun.

           “Lay with me,” you tell him. Jaehyun smiles at you before he crawls into bed with you. The two of you lay on your sides facing one another. You waited about two seconds before you moved right into Jaehyun space.

           “I didn’t think I’d be seeing you until tomorrow.” You tell his chest. Your hand starts to trace up and down his side. The touch of your fingertips is so soft Jaehyun can barely feel it and he finds the motion calming.

           “We finished early and were able to convince management to let us go home early to be with those we care about for the holiday.” He tells you his voice starting to fade out as he starts to let the tiredness from work and traveling set in.

           “I’m glad that you’re here,” you whisper as you notice that Jaehyun is starting to drift off.

           “Me too. I was worried that I wouldn’t get to spend Christmas with you,” Jaehyun admits. You snuggle in closer to him and kiss his chest.

           “You made it, with plenty of time to spare,” Jaehyun nods his head in agreement.

           “Made it in time to spend Christmas Eve with you and then wake up and do Christmas day the right way. Now sleep Y/n otherwise Santa won’t come, and you won’t have any presents to open on Christmas day.”

           “You can just tell me that you’re tired Jaehyun you don’t have to make up stories about Santa coming. I’m an adult and know the truth.” You inform him.

           “Shh, let’s just pretend for tonight that he’s real and embrace all the magic that Christmas brings with it. Now close your eyes and dream of sugar plums.”

           You’re about to tease Jaehyun and ask him when he became such a knowledgeable man about Christmas. But you can see the exhaustion that is written all over his face and how he is fighting to stay awake and talk with you and while you want to you talk more to him and enjoy having him back home you know that you’ll have all day tomorrow with him which is more than what you were originally going to get.

           “Alright, let’s sleep and dream of sugar plums,” you stretch up and gently touch your lips to Jaehyun’s “Merry Christmas Jaehyun.”

           “Merry Christmas Y/n.” Jaehyun tells you before he drifts off to sleep. You snuggle into him with a smile on your face, eyes closed, and instead of dreaming about sugar plums you dream about yours and Jaehyun’s first Christmas together.

Y/n always wanted to keep things casual between them and Jaehyun. But as they continue seeing one another feelings start to grow and when Jaehyun leaves to do some work abroad Y/n struggles with him being gone and thinks that it might be better to end things.

Long term couples series

Curled up on the couch with Jaehyun’s sweater pulled up over your knees you watch as your phone vibrates across the coffee table. You don’t even have to look at the screen to know who is calling you. It’s the same person who has been calling you for the past three days now and each time they have called you’ve refused to pick up the phone. The last time that you had answered Jaehyun’s call was when he had called to tell you that their plane had safely landed, and they were on their way to the hotel. That was seven days ago.

           The conversation was normal and what you had wanted. You wanted to know that he had safely made it to his destination and at the time you were glad that he had called you. It was the rest of the conversation that was bothering you. Before Jaehyun had ended the call he had told you that he was already missing you and couldn’t wait to see you in twelve days. It was a simple statement really and it shouldn’t have you freaking out, but it was. Because with that statement he was telling you what you already feared. He cared about you, and he wanted more.

           Closing your eyes tight you lean your head against your knees. What were you going to do? Jaehyun couldn’t fall for you, you were supposed to keep things casual, no strings attached. There wasn’t supposed to be feelings involved. That was the only way that the two of you would come out of this unhurt. Once feelings got involved you knew what would come next. There would be arguments, distrust, jealousy, and then like always heartbreak. The two of you would realize that you aren’t good for one another and that you would be better off without each other and then it would all end. Because you knew, you knew that you were not someone destined to be loved. That had been proven to you countless times over. All you ever did was hurt those who loved you and you couldn’t do that to Jaehyun. You had to end things before he ended up hating you and being really broken by you.

           Eventually your phone stopped vibrating and you let out a sigh of relief. It was short lived though as the phone lights up again and started to vibrate. Reaching for the phone you decided that you needed to end things now. It was better this way he was already becoming to mean too much to you and you to him. Answering the call this time you bring it up to your ear.

           “Hello,” your voice comes out scratchy and you clear it hoping that he won’t read into the sound of your voice too much.

           “Y/n,” Jaehyun sighs and instantly you sink into the couch just from the sound of his voice. Just from hearing him say that one word has you calming down and you’re already rethinking what you are going to do.

           “Are you okay you haven’t answered any of my calls and I was starting to worry,” the stress in Jaehyun voice is obvious and you feel guilty for making him worry so much.

           “I’m sorry things have been busy at work, and I forgot to call you back.” The excuse is pathetic, and you know it. Jaehyun doesn’t call you out on it and you wish he would. You wish that he would say something about the way you are treating him. But instead, he goes into caring mode.

           “Are you getting enough rest and eating well? When is your next day off? You should make sure that you spent that time relaxing,” your eyes start to well up with tears and you have to fight them back. Why is he being so sweet to you? You’ve ignored his calls for days and instead of being mad at you he is worried about your health.

           “I’ll be sure to do that. I have a day off in two days,” you assure him. “How has Japan been? How are the guys?”

           You fake happiness and trying to steer the conversation away from you and the fact that you have been avoiding his calls for days. Over the phone you can hear voices and can make out the sound of his members. You can hear Marks laugh, Doyoung protesting about something and Johnny making a joke. It makes your chest tight as you hear all of them in the background. You are going to miss them you think. There is no way that you will get to see them once you end things with Jaehyun.

           “They’re good. Japan is fine. I’m looking forward to coming back home and sleeping in my own bed. Of having you next to me stealing all the blankets.”

           “I don’t steal the blankets!” You protest.

           “Yes, you do! Every time we sleep together you cuddle up next to me only to roll away with the blankets wrapped tightly around you and leaving me out in the cold.” Laughter bubbles out of your mouth as Jaehyun continues to go on about how you take the blankets and warmth away from him every night and that is the only reason that you wake up to him curled around you.

           “That is the worst excuse I have ever heard on why you cuddle me,” you continue to laugh and for a moment everything is right. You forget about your fears. You forget that you only answered this call to end things with Jaehyun not to talk about blanket stealing.

           “Jaehyun get off the phone we have to go on set,” Johnny’s voice filters through the phone and you hear Jaehyun shout back to give him a minute. Then you hear some shuffling and the next thing you know you have Johnny talking to you over the line.

           “Y/n! You finally answered his called thank goodness. He was starting to become pathetic when you weren’t picking up,” Johnny informs you and the happiness that you were feeling mere seconds ago vanishes.

           “I’m sure he was fine,” your voice comes out flat, but Johnny doesn’t seem to notice.

           “He wasn’t he was all worried that something had happened to you, and I think if you wouldn’t have answered the phone today, he would have been on the next plane back to South Korea just to make sure you were okay.”

           “No, I wasn’t!” Jaehyun protest, “Give me back the phone so I can say goodbye.”

           You hear some more scuffling. Johnny teasing Jaehyun about catching feelings and Jaehyun telling him to mind his own business before he gets back on the phone. The whole-time hearing this you feel your throat closing up. Your mind shouting at you that you have to let him go before you really hurt him. Look at how he felt from you not talking to him for a few days. You need to end things now before his feelings for you deepen and you really hurt him.

           “Y/n” Jaehyun calls, and you don’t know if this is the first time, he has said your name or not.

           “I’m here,” this time you know that your voice sounds like your about to cry.

           “Y/n what’s wrong?” Jaehyun voice softens, and you can picture him moving away from everyone else and hunching his body over the phone to give the two of you some semblance of privacy.

           “Nothing! I just…” you can’t do it you realize. You can’t end things with him over the phone while he’s away working. It would be wrong and unkind of you to do. You can’t do that to him not Jaehyun. So, you swallow down what you were going to say and lie. It burns as it comes out and tears start to slip down your cheeks.

           “I think I’m just over tired and having you gone is messing with me more than I thought it would,” you tell him as you try to control your tears.

           “Don’t cry okay. Just go to sleep and know that in four days I’ll be back, and everything will go back to normal. I didn’t think this trip would make me miss you as much as I do either. But we can talk about it all when I get back. Now get some rest and I’ll talk to you soon.”

           Jaehyun hangs up the phone and you let yours slide from your hand onto the floor. Letting yourself finally cry your body shakes and you’re crying so hard that you are gasping for air. You cry because you know that Jaehyun thinks he’s falling for you, but you know that he will soon realize what a mistake it is to care about you. You cry because you want to be the person that he is meant to love and be with him. It all hurts and feels unfair to have met Jaehyun and have him to only know that you and he will never be. That you two can never happen.