#jewishqueer
So, in light of everything that’s been happening with regards to the anti-Semitic fallout from the Chicago Dλke March debacle, I just want to take a moment to address all my fellow Jews who are not members of the LGBTQ+ community to say that, now—more than ever—we really need to step our allyship the fuck up for our fellow LGBTQ+ Yidden.
I have seen so many heartbreaking posts over the past few days from gay and trans Jews who are being told by the support networks and advocacy organisations that are supposed to be protecting them that they will not be accepted unless they tow the party line in support of CDM, and basically agree to either pass a GoodJew™ loyalty test or completely hide their Jewishness in future. In one of the anti-Semitism discussion groups I’m in on FB a trans woman was told by trans activism group in her city that if she did not support their “explicit solidarity” with the Chicago Dλke March organisers that she was in the wrong place and should find another group.
So what this means moving forward is that the rest of us, as allies, need to start working twice as hard to make Jewish spaces more welcoming and accessible for LGBTQ+ Jews than ever before. In this landscape of isolation and vitriol, we cannot let anyone get left behind.
So to all my Jewish LGBTQ+ friends out there: Just tell us what you need. Tell us how you want be supported and uplifted and I will fucking be there.
❤️ AM YISRAEL CHAI ❤️
One of mutuals had some thoughts to share in regards to this post. However, they’re not fully out, so I am reposting their words here anonymously on their behalf:
“when it comes to supporting all LGBT+ Jews, it’d be really great if reform/liberal/conservative/etc. Jews - especially straight members of these communities, but this doesn’t preclude LGBT+ members - could recognise that heavily deriding Orthodox Judaism for its practices and how alienating it is for queer Jews, often just pushed the burden onto Orthodox queer jews. Of course people should be allowed to talk about how Orthodoxy may reject them, especially if they have a background in it and had to leave, no one should be silence. But the perception that Orthodoxy exists and that hurts (for example) Reform queer Jews really shifts the narrative away from actual gay Orthodox Jews. If Orthodoxy is only ever discussed to be denigrated, especially by non-Orthodox Jews who genuinely are a lot more visible on at least jumblr if not general secular spaces, then all you’re doing is making the space between Orthodox queers and other queer Jews even further apart. And of course, a lot of Orthodox Jews are going to be in the closet. And of course we are going to be facing difficulties in our communities. But that’s our stories and narratives. If non-Orthodox Jews don’t make space for us, then we’re being alienated thrice. (In Orthodoxy, in the Jewish community at large, and of course in goyishe LGBT+ spaces)”
To add onto this, I have found an anti-religious climate in many queer Jewish spaces. Asking for accommodations so that I don’t have to write on Shabbat, for example, often marks me as that ‘weird religious Jew’ that makes people uncomfortable; ditto if I mention that I actually go to shul. While secular and non-halachic religious Judaism are both entirely valid identities, that can be affirmed without diminishing more traditionally religious forms of Judaism and those who find meaning in it. For all the reasons I feel uncomfortable in Orthodox spaces as a queer person, I often feel uncomfortable in liberal spaces as someone who does identify with halachic judaism.
Queer Jews exist in halachic communities. Halachic Judaism has value. Liberal Judaism is not the solution to queerphobia in Orthodox and other traditionally observant Jewish communities. Queer Orthodox Jews have agency over their narratives and should be listened to. And, certainly, if you are facilitating a queer Jewish space (or any Jewish) space and it isn’t possible for someone to observe kashrut and shabbat, please work on that.
So, in light of everything that’s been happening with regards to the anti-Semitic fallout from the Chicago Dλke March debacle, I just want to take a moment to address all my fellow Jews who are not members of the LGBTQ+ community to say that, now—more than ever—we really need to step our allyship the fuck up for our fellow LGBTQ+ Yidden.
I have seen so many heartbreaking posts over the past few days from gay and trans Jews who are being told by the support networks and advocacy organisations that are supposed to be protecting them that they will not be accepted unless they tow the party line in support of CDM, and basically agree to either pass a GoodJew™ loyalty test or completely hide their Jewishness in future. In one of the anti-Semitism discussion groups I’m in on FB a trans woman was told by trans activism group in her city that if she did not support their “explicit solidarity” with the Chicago Dλke March organisers that she was in the wrong place and should find another group.
So what this means moving forward is that the rest of us, as allies, need to start working twice as hard to make Jewish spaces more welcoming and accessible for LGBTQ+ Jews than ever before. In this landscape of isolation and vitriol, we cannot let anyone get left behind.
So to all my Jewish LGBTQ+ friends out there: Just tell us what you need. Tell us how you want be supported and uplifted and I will fucking be there.
❤️ AM YISRAEL CHAI ❤️
I cannot express enough appreciation for this post. This week, and I know this does not need to be said, has been deeply painful. Reading this was like coming home to a warm bowl of matzo ball soup. (Actually, if you have queer Jewish friends IRL, making them a warm bowl of matzo ball soup might be a good idea. If anyone is in Western Mass…)
In the immediate post-CDM moment, I think what I have needed - and still do - the most is support and a liaison. I was heart broken to see so many of the left-leaning, well-meaning members of my congregation write nothing about this. I was looking for their Facebook posts, their tweets, their notes in the weekly newsletter, etc. I was looking for them to provide a firm, queer-affirming, left-leaning voice to both make sure we knew we were safe and that right-wing Jews could not exploit this moment (as if the right wing is a safe place for my queerness).
And I think this represents a broader trend. There are quite a few Jewish people, Baruch Hashem, who want queer Jews to be welcomed into their communities, but are missing a step. For example, my congregation has a safe space sticker on the door. But to see that sticker you have to reach the door. There is nothing on our website; no discussion of our philosophy, how our facilities were made queer affirming, the queer folks in our community, etc. They are not attempting to hide it. They’re simply not thinking about how important it is to make that information accessible. They don’t see that a potential queer member will be searching for ‘lgbtq’ on the website. (We’re a Conservative congregation, as an aside.)
I need people to say “I see you, I hear you, I care about you, I want you here, and *here are the actions I am taking to make sure you can be here*”. And I need allies to be willing to help us communicate that. If your synagogue doesn’t mention queer folks on their website, recommend it. If your rabbi hasn’t written a message of support on Facebook or in the weekly bulletin, recognizing this pain of this event, ask them if it’s possible. If you’re in a Jewish space and nobody is asking for pronouns, even if (you think) you know that nobody is trans, ask for pronouns and take the moment to simply explain why. If you haven’t invited a queer person doing cool, geeky queer halacha, advocate for it. If you’re a rabbi or scholar, please do cool, geeky queer halacha.
Don’t forget more observant communities. I am happy that Reform and Recon. movements, and increasingly the Conservative movement (we founded queer talmud camp! SVARA), are doing some of this work. It’s provided an important space. But people shouldn’t have to choose between their queer identity and their religious observance. I see so many people imply to queer Jews in observant communities that they could always come over into liberal judaism. Yes, they could, and that’s a valid option, but it denies people their spiritual agency. Frum communities deserve queer spaces, too. So even if you can’t help create them, don’t imply the solution is to simply leave.
Ditto for thinking about non-Ashkie Jews and Jewish spaces.
I do trans education workshops. I am happy to do that labor, but after this week I am struggling to do it alone.
According to many this week, it seems that I, as an American Jew, apparently have a personal role in controlling American, European, and Middle Eastern geopolitics. Yet, I still cannot convince cisgender-heterosexual men to use my pronouns (they/them) correctly. What gives?
I recognize that this has been a painful week for the queer community as a whole, but the queer Jewish community is walking away from Sunday in pain, exhausted, and without a home. I have remained quiet about the antisemitism we have been experiencing on the left, if only because I didn’t want to - don’t want to - play into the hands of the Islamophobic right who would use it to malign communities and the important work that we do in social justice spaces*, but I cannot remain quiet after this. Comrades on the left, especially queer comrades, we need you to step up, to be visible in your allyship, and to be willing to do the hard accountability work of examining how antisemitism has manifested in our movements. Before you react and respond, please step back and listen. The next time someone tells you that they are Jewish and your first impulse is to ask them if they are a zionist, pause. And when you would seek to take the symbols of our faith away from us, drawing the lines of acceptable practice and the conditions of our dignity, please don’t and ask yourself if you would impose such demands on any other community.
I have been with you as you have done Palestinian liberation work and heard you say that you recognize that Judaism is not Zionism, as you have declared that it is possible to be antizionist without being antisemitic, and I believed you. I still do. Please show me that you meant it.
(If you need resources to begin to work through this, “the past didn’t go anywhere” is an excellent voice that recognizes the need for intersectional liberation: http://www.buildingequality.us/…/ant…/rosenblum/the-past.pdf)
*And if you are a part of that group and would exploit this moment to push your agenda, no, not here, not in my name as a queer Jew. You do not get to use me to malign, scapegoat, harass, or harm the Muslim community. If you do, you will hear from me. To my Muslim friends who have been targeted this week, know that I am sending my love and care. Please feel free to reach out if you need someone to hold them accountable.
