#jisung angst
CAT HYBRID JISUNG???!!!!! HMMMM
[7:14PM] a big smile was plastered on renjun’s face, jogging slightly so she could have a chance to catch him. and eventually, she did. the couple laughed out loud, his hands snaking around her waist as she wraps her arms around his neck.
“i love you, so much.” the brown haired boy spoke. eyes full of love while staring into her eyes. “i love you too, injun.” she responded, slowly starting to lean in so she could press her lips against his.
i smiled, feeling happy that he was able to move on. but deep inside, i could feel my heart slowly ache as i watched my lover with another girl. if only i survived, this would’ve been me instead of her.
although, it’s fine. as long as he’s happy with her. i no longer have to see the love of my life cry over my death over and over again. today marks as his 21st birthday. it also means that he’ll finally spend his birthday somewhere else other than my grave.
as they hold each other’s hand and began to walk away, i watched my other half become whole again with another.
a/n: aaaa im sorry for writing so much angst lately (〒﹏〒) i can’t help it heuheuehe but i promise to write fluff afterwards!! no!more!sad!stories! but anyways,, this was completely inspired by a tiktok vid i came across while i was scrolling :]
— “water fountain.”
pairings: jisung x gn!reader
genre: angst, just pure angst. (maybe a bit of fluff if you squint hard enough hueheu)
a/n: feeling kinda angsty lately im always feeling angsty most of the time but most of my fics here are fluff..♀️also i recommend listening to water fountain by alec benjamin bc this drabble is completely inspired by this song :v i switched up a bit of the lyrics so it would make sense but yeah!!1!1!!1
“he told me that he loved me by the water fountain,he told me that he loved me and he didn’t love her,and that was really lovely ‘cause it was innocent,
but now he’s got a cup with something else in it.”
“you know, i wouldnt have found this beautiful place if it weren’t for you, love.” jisung mumbled out before reaching his hand out to caress your cheeks. humming at his words, you looked down at the boy who had his head laid on your lap.
the two of you were seated on the mat that you brought near the water fountain. the both of you just so had to stumble across the place a few weeks ago and it had became your new favourite place to hang out with your dearest boyfriend.
“yn?” the black haired boy called out, causing you to get back in reality. “yes ji?” “you know i love you, right?” jisung stared into your own pair of eyes, his cute smile was visible for you to see. smiling back at him, your hand begin to caress his fluffy hair.. brushing his bangs of his eyes before responding. “of course love, and i love you too.”
he suddenly lift his head up from your lap, now sitting up to face you, his big hands gently reaching out to hold yours. “good. thank you for trusting me even though those nasty rumours were going around the whole school. you’re the only person i love, only you baby. no one else, not even her.”those were just sweet, sweet lies.
“it’s getting kind of blurry at a quarter-past-ten, and she was in a hurry to be touching his skin, he’s feeling kind of dirty when he’s dancing with her,
forgetting what he told me by the water fountain.”
“hey sweetheart, you’re a little late to the party but at least you’re here now. wasn’t expecting you to come, your dress suits you a lot.” na jaemin slipped his arms around your shoulder, handing you a red cup. you were pretty used to his flirty personality, of course making sure that he doesn’t cross the line as you were in a relationship with ji.
smiling at the lad, you took the cup in your own hand, taking a sip from it before responding. “i apologize for being 30 minutes late, was having a hard time choosing out my outfit and i heard ji is here too so why not join him? ah- by any chance do you know where he is, nana?” “you don’t have to apologize, pretty. and I’m not sure sweetheart, I haven’t seen him around ever since he came in.”
jaemin spoke, a hand brushing his freshly dyed blonde hair which looked really good on him. the boy detached his arms from your shoulder, shoving it in the pockets of his ripped jeans before speaking again, “i can help you find jisung if you want me to, though.” straightening your body portion, you quickly fixed your dress by pulling the hem of the fabric down since it was riling up before politely declining his offer.
soon both of you parted ways, jaemin went back to jeno and renjun while you were walking around the house, looking for your boyfriend. you had been looking for him for the past 15 minutes, texting him several times but still hadn’t got a response from him. your eyes searched around the dance floor, suddenly landing on a particular spot.
there he was, dancing with her. his arms wrapped around her waist while hers was all over his body. anger, but mostly disappointment filled your body. he was there at the dance floor, with his arms wrapped around another girl’s waist instead of yours. it’s like he had forgotten what he said to you back at the water fountain.
“and if he ever goes back to the water fountain, the handle will be broken and the rust set in.
but my hand, it will be open and I’ll try to fix it. my heart, it will be open and I’ll try to give it”
jisung ended up at the water fountain, this time feeling extremely guilty. guilty that he had lied to you, guilty that he still loves her. guilty for making you upset. how he wished all of this wouldn’t happen, he wished to not love her anymore.
deep down, he knows. he knows that it would never happen. he would still love her no matter what, even if she’s not the one for him and the real one was standing in front of him the whole time. he feels stupid. stupid for still going after her even though you were so much better at almost everything. his thoughts were cut out from a faint voice coming from behind, the voice calling his name.
“jisung?” you called out. suddenly his heart was beating fast, not knowing how to act after the incident and you not responding to his chat. “what are you doing here?” you were slowly walking towards the boy, head slightly tilted to the side waiting for his answer. “…yn, I’m sorry-”
“no, it’s alright. let’s… not talk about it.” awkward silence lingering around the air between you two. both you and jisung did not dare to speak, until you decided to break it. “so.. what are you doing here?” clearing your throat, you waited for his response, “i was waiting for you..” the tall boy said.
“listen, i know you saw me with her.. and i wanna apologize for that. i know what i did was wrong, just.. please don’t leave me. i still love you, so so much.” oh how much you hated yourself for coming back to him with just those words. you hate how weak you are for park jisung.
in the end, no matter what he did. you would always come back in his arms, even if he lied to you multiple time.
currently PULLING my hair out of my scalp rn bc this jisung drabble sucks ass
Love To Hate Me
part four – pussy cat
sorry for not posting for so long omg i feel so bad for making yall wait but im backk for nowww :) also tysm for 50+ fllwrs it really means a lot (/^-^(^ ^*)/
taglist:@daegalfangirl@marklexleaf@bbnana@ikyk-leeknow (dm/ask me if you wanna be added in the taglist!! :D)
couldn’t tag for some reason </3: @ne0yong
Love To Hate Me
part one – facebook mom
honestly idk i feel like this is gonna flop but whatever just to clarify: the last text is from jaemin’s pov!! not yn
Love To Hate Me - Na Jaemin !in progress! [ON HIATUS.]
genre: social media!au,, highschool!au,, enemies-to-friends -to-lovers,, big fluff,, a bit of angst
pairings: na jaemin x fem!yn,, mark x fem!yn (a bit of noren)
warnings: cussing,, jaemin’s a bit mean (yea i think that’s all lol)
a/n: wowow i just wanted to start my own social media au for fun since ive been pretty interested in them for the past few days.. i hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as i love to make it!! ❤️
more coming soon..
[2/3] introduction:
y/n’s crew: completed. √ next up, jaemin’s crew:
Love To Hate Me
jaemin’s crew: uncompleted.
a simple mcdonald’s meal
idol:han jisung × reader
genre:light angst (?), fluff at the end
warnings: school life
so, your bad day started off when you went to school. first you missed your bus, means you walked thirty minutes to school. then you got detention for being late and afterwards you got your exam results and of course, math decided to be a bitch and give you another bad grade for this year. you’ve worked so long and hard to pass this class, but what were you supposed to do? cry like every single time? probably yes, but not in public.
you stumbled into your apartment with the worst mood, tossing your bag in some corner and kicking off your shoes from your hurting feets. and the first thing you did after sitting down on your bed was balling your eyes out. school was just stressing and tearing you apart. the teachers expected too much of you since a few subjects screamed for improvement, but you just couldn’t anymore.
the last couple of weeks were too hard. you remembered sitting everynight in front your desk, trying somehow to finish your homework and reading your textbooks. none of it worked and that caused you to have a huge lack of sleep, skipping meals quiet often and even bad depression. you needed rest, but you knew that school work was calling for you.
and there you sat, doing your homework, reading books and correcting your wrong answers. you didn’t even realize how often you yawned and blinked your eyes to keep them open. your hand was already giving up and your back hurt really bad from sitting too long in that stupid position. it was definitely time to sleep, but you didn’t want to. you still wanted to wait for your boyfriend to come home from his practice day.
/
“i’m home!”, a familiar voice yelled.
“are you already sle-”, your boyfriend, jisung, stopped as he saw you all tired and knocked out.
“hi.”, you weakly smiled and stood up to embrace him.
“you look devastated, y/n.”, jisung said with worry.
“i’m fine, there’s this important test on monday and i have to learn for it.”, you mumbled whilst rubbing your eyes.
“oh no, y/n. you won’t do that now. it’s friday, common stop studying 24/7 and spend your time with something better.”, he stated and you raised your brow in confusion.
“it’s me, your boyfriend, you dumbass. so, go wash your face. we’ll drive to mcdonald’s.”, he grinned and you did as he said.
/
after you ordered your food and stuff, you sat back down in jisung’s car, chewing and sipping from your first ‘proper’ meal after days of skipping.
“is it good?”, jisung asked after he spotted you all happy and moody about a simple mcdonald’s meal.
“hell yes! are you sure, you don’t want to eat with me?”, you pouted and he smiled.
“i’m good. me and the boys went to eat something earlier that day. enjoy the food, you deserved it.”, he softly replied and you couldn’t define how much you blushed at his words.
“i meant it. you do so much, it’s okay to rest, y/n.”, he patted your knee while you munched onto some fries.
“i honestly love you so much.”, you spoke.
“i love you too, babygirl.”, he said.
/
you threw the the paper bags and plastic cups away before you and jisung drove back to your apartment district. both of you jammed to your favourite songs while you started to hibble and dance all around. as the last song played, you leaned back into your seat while gasping for air.
“you’re going to sleep really well after this.”, jisunglaughed.
“i feel even more tired now.”, you whispered, half asleep already.
“we’re almost home.”, he said.
/
whenjisung turned off the car, he had found you asleep and cuddled up into the passenger seat. you looked so peaceful, he didn’t want to wake you up.
he did, what he had to do. sweeping you into his arms and carrying you into your shared bedroom. after he succeeded at changing your clothes, he gently stroked through your hair and laid you into the bedsheets.
“don’t go.”, you whine when you felt him leaving your side.
“i won’t baby. i will change real quick and then come back, yea?”, he said and kissed your cheek.
when he was done, he pulled you into his arms, falling into a deep slumber as well.
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my newest imagine on instagram! thought, i should share it on tumblr as well it’s jisung again, sorry oops!
send requests!
soft morning
idol:han jisung × reader
genre: super soft, like you’ll die
warnings: S O F T
the peachy sunrise shone through your white almost transparent curtains as they flow with the fresh morning breeze which was caused due the open window.
you and jisung laid in soft cotton blankets and pillows while the calm morning greeted the both of you.
jisung fluttered his eyes open only to see his love next to him, faced into his direction, sleeping all comfortably and peaceful. your satin night dress curved your body perfectly whilst the bed linen covered your skin slightly.
he smiled to himself and reached his hand out to stroke his fingertips over the curve of your waist up to your shoulder.
you shifted into the opposite direction of him and whined lightly. jisung chuckled. he knew how much you loved your undisturbed sleep, still he can’t get over it not touching or hugging you to sleep.
he moved closer to your frame and slung his arm over your hip to drag your body more into his embrace.
you, eyes half opened, looked over your shoulder to see him smile brightly at you. he positioned a bit above you to spread kissed all over your collarbones and neck, and with that you turned to him completely.
he held you in his arms and you stared up at him.
“good morning.”, you spoke, with a sweet raspy voice.
“still tired huh?”, he grinned and took you properly into his arms. you groaned and hit his upper arm with a light smack, too tired to put energy into it fully.
“i’m just kidding, baby.”, he kissed your forehead.
“how did you sleep?”, you mumbled into his chest. jisung stroked smooth circles over your bare delicate skin.
“amazing, and just because of you.”
“it’s been awhile since we spent time together, don’t you think?”, he looked down into your face.
“totally.”, you smiled wide. the intense eye contact made both of you blushing yet no one wanted to break it.
you leaned forward, slowly brushing your velvety lips over jisung’s light chapped ones.
you backed your lips away just a bit from his, to stare up into his chestnut coloured eyes before connecting your lips into a lovely and passionate kiss.
_________________________________________________
i love soft mornings we’re growing babes
Description: Y/N and Jisung finally grew to love each other after their arranged marriage. However, not every marriage gets a happily ever after. Sequel to Even If Things Were Different.
Warning:miscarriage
Word Count: 1.9k
Pairing:fem!reader x Han Jisung
“THAT’S MY WIFE! THAT’S MY WIFE! PLEASE, I— THAT’S MY WIFE!”
Jisung thrashes and thrashes, but the police firmly hold him back. People are talking over radios and cars are honking in traffic on the other lanes, but he can still hear every rock your gurney rolls over and every puff of air they squeeze into your lungs. He can barely see you through the swarms of first responders and reporters though. All he can see is your limp arm hanging off the stretcher, your wedding ring staining with blood.
“Please. Please! That’s my wife,” he wails. “That’s my wife. Y/N! Please. Y/N!”
Jisung walks down the hall, looking at the cup of tea in his hands. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots some flashing lights that make him jump and all the hairs on his back stand up.
“Y/N.”
His heart is still pounding in his ears from the scare, but he soon realizes the lights are just from a Christmas tree twinkling in the corner. He sighs and shakes his head before continuing on his way, his shoes clicking against the white tiles with every step.
He slides the door to your room open. The humidifier hums softly. The sheets are spread smoothly over your body. A select stack of books sit neatly on the coffee table.
It’s quiet.
He walks over and places the cup on your nightstand. You are turned away from him, and he can’t tell if you are actually sleeping.
“It’s chamomile.”
No response.
He sighs and crawls under the sheets. He wraps his arm around your waist and gently rubs circles on your belly. The skin still resembles an orange peel with all its bumps and crevices.
“I love you,” he whispers.
He feels you curl up ever so slightly at his words. So you are awake.
“This doesn’t change anything.” He uncurls you so you lay a bit more flush against his chest. You haven’t washed your hair in days, but he still closes his eyes and snuggles his nose into it. He hopes you can feel a second heartbeat in your body again if he holds himself close enough to you.
How did this happen? It’s Christmas Eve. It’s supposed to be merry and bright, so how. How did this happen?
It was supposed to be a short errand. You were just going to pick up some extra ribbons to wrap up the pacifiers you were going to give your and his parents. Now, there is no more use for those gifts.
He would wish for a Christmas miracle, but there is no point. It’s not as if what has been taken out can go back in. Now, he just wishes you’d talk to him and eat something. He’s never seen you stop for anything—not when you had to get married or even when you threw up every morning—but now you’ve come to a complete halt. It’s so hard to see you like this, and it scares Jisung so much, he hasn’t even had time to cry yet.
“It’s not your fault.” He knows his words are futile, but he has to say them anyway.
You, of course, remain motionless. He sighs again and lets his mind wander. If anything, it’s his fault. He should have been there. Who would let a woman in your condition drive at night? Sure, it was just a five minute commute, but anything could happen in five minutes, and something did. It’s his fault the hope you’ve been holding onto for five months is now gone. It’s his fault you are now like this. He’s killed your and his dreams. He’s killed the what-if’s. All that’s left now are memories.
He remembers the day you told him the news. You were a little nervous; you weren’t sure how he’d react. He remembers you were happy though. No, that’s an understatement. You were overflowing with so much joy, you could barely contain yourself. Usually, you were calm and composed. That day though, he could tell something was special the moment he stepped through the door.
You greeted him with a smile that made his stomach flutter away.
“I made lemonade,” you told him. You said it like you made Forbes’ front cover. “Would you like some?”
“Sure,” he replied.
“Great. Meet me in the kitchen.”
He did as told, sliding into one of the chairs by the counter as you pulled out two tall glasses from the cupboard. You set them down on the marble and turned back around to bring out a smaller glass which you set between the first two.
Jisung looked at you curiously. You began filling the two taller glasses with lemonade, eyes flicking up every other second to read his expression. Finally, when you were done, you took his hand and guided it to pour some of the juice from his glass into the smaller one. You then took your glass and poured some of that into the smaller cup. After that, you sat down with your fingers laced in front of you, watching as his brows knit together as he tried to figure out what just happened.
You giggled the second you saw the realization hitting him. First, his eyes grew impossibly big and his jaw dropped to the ground. Then he looked at you to confirm his suspicions.
“Is it— Are you— Is there a—!” He couldn’t finish a sentence, and you couldn’t control your giggles.
“Yes, I am.”
He leapt across the table and screamed of joy as he swung you around. He put you down quickly though and took a step back. “No wait. I can’t do that anymore. You’re carrying precious cargo now.”
You laughed and pulled him into a hug. “Are you happy?”
“So much so. So incredibly much so,” he hummed. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”
You turned your head to rest your ear against his racing heart. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” His emotions rolled into a tear that trickled down his face.
He wonders if it was all a dream. He wonders if happiness only exists inside dreams. He didn’t even realize he had fallen asleep until the lights from the window made him grimmance.
“—ung! Jisung!”
His eyelids fly open at the sound of your panicked voice. He looks and sees you sitting up, your hand reaching out for him and your face etched with worry.
“Y-Y/N, you’re sitting—”
“Are you okay?” you ask.
He nods, too stunned to make a noise.
You sigh in relief and collapse back down, facing him this time. “You were shaking and crying. I thought something was wrong. I thought I was going to lose you too. I thought… I thought…”
“Shh, shh, shh.” He draws you close again.
“You’re alright, right?” Your voice is muffled against him. “You promise? You aren’t going to leave me behind too, right?”
“I’ll always be by your side. I promise,” he assures you. “I just had a dream.”
You nod against his chest and sniffle.
“How are you feeling?”
“Dizzy.” Of course, you went on full flight-or-fight mode after being on an IV drip for almost a week. Still, you replied, and Jisung feels a huge wave of relief wash through him.
“You really love me, don’t you?” he chuckles.
“Of course,” you mumble.
“And I really love you.”
You pause for a minute, and he panics, thinking he’s pushed you too far. Finally though, in a small voice, you say, “But I lost her.”
He shakes his head. “It’s not—”
“No, but it is!” He can hear the panic rising again in your voice. “I was driving! I should have seen the headlights. I should have swerved lanes. On impact, I should have protected her more. I should have done something. Don’t you see? I lost her. Me.”
He grabs your hands and forces you to look into his eyes to slow you down. He has on a scowl, and he speaks firmly and pointedly. “Welost her. There’s things you could have done differently. There’s things I could have done differently. There’s things that no one could have possibly done differently. But the fact of the matter is, this is our reality, and we’re going to face it together. I won’t let you go through this alone, so Y/N, don’t make me go through it alone either, okay?”
You pause for another minute. This time, he knows you are thinking about his words. When you seem to have come to a conclusion, you drop your head back onto him. He then feels you drawing something on his back. Your signature, he realizes, to this agreement. Perhaps there is still room for a little Christmas miracle after all.
Christmas eve. It’s been just over a year now since the accident. Jisung raises a brow when you walk into the living room in a red sweater. Red. It’s a sign of life and a sign of celebration. The last time you were seen with that color was when you were in the back of an ambulance. In fact, that was the last time you were seen wearing any color.
You sit up straight with your knees pressed together and your hands folded in your lap. In other words, you are sitting much too properly for a couch in your own home.
“Y/N?” Jisung calls carefully. “What’s the matter, love?”
“I’m… I’m scared.”
He uncrosses his legs and sits up too. “Why? What’s wrong?”
You look down at your lap then at him. “I’m scared to hope. I’m scared something will go wrong again. I’m scared to hurt you.”
He scoots next to you and wraps his arm around your shaking torso. You look so small under his arm. He wraps his other hand around the front and shields you with his body. Gently, he rubs his thumbs over your skin, letting his actions speak the words his lips cannot.
You take a long moment to absorb his strength before you’re able to hand him a rectangular gift box about the length of his hand.
“Merry Christmas,” you barely squeak.
He takes it while still keeping an arm around you. He looks at the box, then at you, then at the box. Finally, he lifts off the top cover.
He doesn’t react as he stares at what’s inside. After an eternity, he sets the present aside and turns so that he is completely facing you. He takes your hands and looks you square in the eyes.
“The doctor said there’s an increased risk after what happened,” you ramble, nervous under his sudden gaze. “What if—”
He cuts you off. “Hope. Please, hope. Hope, and be happy. Be happy knowing you can hope, and hope because you know there is love supporting that hope. No matter what—”
“—I love you,” you finish for him.
He smiles and nods. You smile too and wrap your arms behind his waist.
“Do you like your present?” you ask.
The fireplace crackles. “I love it. Thank you.”
You hum and close your eyes, falling asleep. Jisung brushes the hair from your face and plants a kiss on your temple. Outside, a bright star twinkles over the house.
“Merry Christmas, my love.”
