#just fucking died
canon: they died
fanfic: fUCK YOU
Canon: and so they never met
Fanfic: here’s a funny story
Canon: There was tension and pining, but they never even kissed.
Fanfic: Actually,
Canon: Torture the cinnamon roll.
Fanfic: Torture the cinnamon roll.
Canon: When they traveled they stayed in separate rooms
Fanfic: AND. THERE. WAS. ONLY. ONE. BED!!!!!
Canon: … and they were roommates.
Fanfic:oh my god, they were roommates…
Canon: They were international assassins who assassinated assassins.
Fanfic: But hot DAMN wait till you hear about this cafe they opened
Canon: They had a coffeeshop
Fanfic: but they were ASSASSINS
Canon: they were mortal enemies and attempted to murder each other on multiple occasions
Fanfic: bUT THEY GOT MARRIED AND ADOPTED CHILDREN
Everytime I reblog this has a new addition and it’s the best
Canon: They were straight
Fanfic: Lol
THE LAST ONE IS THE BEST ONE
Fun fact! According to folklorists, all myths, fairy tales and nursery rhymes that are about some dude named Jack are talking about the same guy
What this means is, that ever single one of the following
- Jack Be Nimble (who jumped over burning candles for fun)
- Jack the Giant Killer (who sold his cows for magic beans then robbed and killed a giant)
- Stingy Jack (who tricked the devil so many times he was banned from both afterlives)
- Jack of Jack and Jill (who splattered his head open falling down a hill)
- Jack o’ Lantern (the headless horseman spirit of halloween)
- Jack Frost (the spirit who heralds the end of autumn and the start of winter)
Are literally the same jackass who made so many bad life choices he ended up an immortal ice dullahan with a pumpkin serving as both his head and flashlight
but what an incredible journey he had getting there
He’s Ye Olde Florida Man
