#because i cant not
“Captain Marvel should smile more” “she looks so serious all the time” “she should smile more” “she’ll look better with a smile”
BRIE LARSON SNAPPED
My God, did some clueless asshole actually say that?
This is hilarious
canon: they died
fanfic: fUCK YOU
Canon: and so they never met
Fanfic: here’s a funny story
Canon: There was tension and pining, but they never even kissed.
Fanfic: Actually,
Canon: Torture the cinnamon roll.
Fanfic: Torture the cinnamon roll.
Canon: When they traveled they stayed in separate rooms
Fanfic: AND. THERE. WAS. ONLY. ONE. BED!!!!!
Canon: … and they were roommates.
Fanfic:oh my god, they were roommates…
Canon: They were international assassins who assassinated assassins.
Fanfic: But hot DAMN wait till you hear about this cafe they opened
Canon: They had a coffeeshop
Fanfic: but they were ASSASSINS
Canon: they were mortal enemies and attempted to murder each other on multiple occasions
Fanfic: bUT THEY GOT MARRIED AND ADOPTED CHILDREN
Everytime I reblog this has a new addition and it’s the best
Canon: They were straight
Fanfic: Lol
THE LAST ONE IS THE BEST ONE
“Jesus christ eat the goddamn mac and cheese.” scowls the hero “I can hear your stomach growling through your armor, you know.”
The villain blinks “You-”
“Are feeding you, yes. If all I wanted to do was punch people and throw criminals in jail, I would’ve become a vigilante. Heroism involves kindness, dipshit.”
“Heroism involves kindness, dipshit” is the most amazing phrase I’ve ever read. I need to incorporate it into all my work.
Ben and Jerry’s gives No Shits
Yooooooo
Me: Well, isn’t that nice, Ben and Jerry’s are branching out and they’re changing th–OOOOH THEY WENT THERE
Post link
My dad: “So if your pronouns are they and them, how should I refer to you when I brag about you? My daughter? My son?”
Me: “Mom’s just been calling me her kid or her child.”
My dad: “I shall call you…my Eldest Spawn.”
I feel like it’s worth noting that he was wearing a Cthulu t-shirt when this happened.
